Guttermouth

add

add longest videos

Top Guttermouth, Wasted Lives

wasted lives (x4)
wasted lives
the blood runs red
suns gonna rise and we'll all be dead
wasted lives
ty's inbred
when he has kids
they will have mongoloid heads
wasted lives
chino bred
karin/kevin and his sister are newlyweds
wasted (x2)
wasted lives (x4)
wasted lives
more shock therapy
don's crooked eye is terrifying me
wasted lives
L-S-D
look at me i'm a chimpanzee
wasted lives
keep it low key
scott sits down when he has to pee
wasted (x2)
wasted lives (x4)
(guitar)
wasted (x2)
waste-ted lives (x4)
wasted lives (x4)
wasted

Top Bree Sharp, Guttermouth

In this concrete jungle of void charms
With the take-out, porn, and car alarms
No one's bringing in armies in
To keep the girls from speaking sin
Cinder blocks are stacking
And the sounds of bricks is clacking
While the cement mixes
When the eyes of the workmen stop and fix this
Chicks' mouths' with asterixes
Guttermouth, she spits on every curb
And she flips the boys bird
And every other word is from the
Guttermouth
She grabs her crotch in public
And I guess that they're all stuck with
The Guttermouth, Guttermouth
Guttermouth, Guttermouth
City life is hard to cope with
Sleazy groupers pushing dope
Sometimes survivals only hope's
A mouth that needs a wash with soap
And water couldn't clean this town
The streets are like a lost and found
The sewers run above the ground
For vagabonds who spew the sounds from the gutter
Oh, Guttermouth, mothers disapprove
Of the vile talk and lewdness
"Miss, stop the filth protruding from that
Guttermouth,"
though they try so hard to punish
The boys all want to run with
The Guttermouth, Guttermouth
Guttermouth, Guttermouth
She's a fortune cookie
Full of nasty puns and proverbs
tucked inside her hot and sour mind
But only skin is sugar coated
Words are jagged and corroded
Like the blunt and rusty axe she grinds
-Filthy Quips From Dirty Lips-
she's got tons of DNA
but all they see is T&A;
a perfect lady looks that way
knows what she can and cannot say
To the bending men who alter their
Direction as the try to halt her,
caterwaul as they assault her,
after all this, can you fault her
mouth...
Guttermouth, her one serenity
is showing her identity,
Ain't in sainthood, but obscenity.
Guttermouth, make her feel bad for her curves,
and you're gonna get what you deserve,
straight from the Guttermouth.
Guttermouth, she spits on every curb
And she flips the boys bird
And ever other word is from the
Guttermouth, says,
'If you're gonna walk these blocks
Then you'd better talk the tough talk
Just like a guttermouth'

Top Guttermouth, Generous Portion

sover indulgence...
a pick me up for when i'm feeling down
a cold one with a line to face the day... o.k.
my dealers house is always on th way... i say...
increase my potential for success
my potential for succes
i'm undestructible...
bathing in a sea of p.c.p.
washing quaaludes down with '83 chablis... whoopie!
make new friends with pots of mushroom tea... you'll see
where the hells my god dawn l.s.d.
my god dawn l.s.d.
i wake up morning, i need a lots of drugs!!
anytime, anyplace, i need a lot on drugs!!
on the way to sunday school, i need a lot of drugs!!

Top Guttermouth, High Ball

simagine my friend that the well has run dry
the bar keep resigns cause there won't be more rye
trade lies with your mates and then you have a good cry
it's finally happened, no more good times
what would you do and what would you say
if some bloody bastard took the high balls away
my god the world would insist that we cannot
be happy until we are pissed off our ass!
day by day they take our freedom
who the hell gives them the right
hold your glass up high and we'll
drink on and on and on and on
if i'm happy or i'm sad
jack daniel's makes me feel alright
raise your glass up hight and we'll sing
on and on and on and on
all we want all we want all we want
is hight balls for everyone
and then, this fucked up world would seem alright
hold on jacky, save me your goobyes
hold on jacky, need double rye
we got your back jack baby no more feelin dry
so cheers to you my dear old friend
come on jacky gimmie the good times
come on jacky dont wanna walk the line
we got your back jack baby no more feelin dry
so cheers to you and all our/your friends tonight
day by day they take our freedom
who the hell gives them the right
hold your glass up high and we'll
drink on and on and on and on
if i'm happy or i'm sad
jack daniels makes me feel alright
hold your glass up high and we'll sing
on and on and on and on
all we want all we want all we want is
high balls for everyone

Top Guttermouth, Camp Fire Girl No.62

She's got the healing powers of medicinal weed
And she feeds herself the same ole crap she feeds to her iguana
And she won't go to the bar
God forbid that she drive
And she won't go to the bar
And of course she will protest the war
I get excited when I see her
You better pass me the saltpeter
Like a sailor on shore leave
Like a recent parolee
I want to date her but first bathe her
She always eating echinacea
On her feet are birkenstocks
I guess my head is filled with rocks
Most of her friends are never happy
That is unless they're bitchin
She looks down upon my comrades like they're carcinogen
She doesn't know what she's fighting for
Like a modern day conquistador
And of course she will protest the war
And even though she's an idiot
She doesn't know what she's fighting for
Like a modern day conquistador
And of course she will protest the war
And even though she's an idiot
Even though she's an idiot

Top Guttermouth, Can't We All Just Get Along (At The Dinner Table)

welcome everybody to my table
don't be shy, man, grab a seat
c'mon, it's time to eat, dig in
frejoles de t.j., sushi from japan
weenies from america
don't forget canned ham
monkey brains from india
(???) from france
pizzas from chicago
korea, dog, many cat
all we want is, all we need is
all we want is, all we need is
all we want is one more beer
to teach the world
to sing in harmony
eating can resolve
this racial tension
get yourself a side of beef
electric knife, and 50' of cord
flies from ethiopia
sangria de espana
crumpets from england
sand from iran
bratwurst von deutchland
meatballs from sweden
mongolian bbq
bacon from canada, eh...
all we want is, all we need is
all we want is, all we need is
all we want is one more beer
to teach the world
to sing in harmony
the next time you're about to shout a racial slur, stop, and think about
all the wonderful dishes that come from his or her country, and channel

Top Guttermouth, 1-2-3 Slam

okay, here's the story about my mom and dad
one was white
one was black
i bet you think you're glad
i'm a half breed, my skin is fair yet tan
i don't know what the hell i'm on
so 1, 2...1, 2, 3 slam!!!
kinky hair when i wake up
straight when i go to bed
my dad speaks jive talk to me, don't know what he just said
my mother she's a honkey
my dad's kentucky fried
i don't know what the hell i'm on
so 1, 2...1, 2, 3 slam!!!
back at home it's black eyed peas with a pot roast on the side
it's hot dogs on friday nights
the chicken's country fried
my dad says "yo boy pass the peas!"
my mom says pass the squash
i need something to ease the pain
so i'll go downtown and get some downers
whoa, man, i'm a little bit slow
but i've got to get up somehow
got no money
just a good idea
let me tell you how
i'll steal my parents credit cards
oh yes i'll rip them off
i'll go downtown to where dad works
and get myself some cocaine
now i'm high, and i'm not shy
i'll get it off my chest
my mom is white, she thinks she's right
she thinks that she's the best
my dad is just a negro, he's not one to play golf
i don't know what the hell i am

Top Guttermouth, 1-2-3-4

give me a gun
give me a gun cause cause bombs and guns are really fun
i've lost my job my moneys gon live like a slob
i've got no home only streets to roams live so alone
i'm barely alive i feed on cats to survive
my wife left me my kids are dead
all this guilt is in my head
i can't go on living like this
i wish that i was dead i wish
give me a gun i'll kill a nun just wait and see
give me a gun i'll shoot a cop to be on tv
nothing could be more fun than a shooting spree
once again i found myself back on tv
guns are fun so much neato fun, fun, fun
better run i got a gun
come on down and join the fun woopie!!!
food for thought
i just want to eat some pills
littleones big ones get my fill
don't matter what kind cause i'll be buying them
up or down i rely on them
little red ones
quay ludes
and the beauties
i gotta get gotta gotta get gotta gonna get some pills
i just wanna eat pills kill the pain
makes me smart speeds up my brain
kids at school lining up and buying them
day or night i'll be selling them
little cross tops
pink hearts
and vicodin
i gotta get gotta gotta get gotta gonna get somes pills
gar-bage (gar'bij), a perfect example of uninteresting poetry
real life was never like this
the door opened as i fell trough
minds of man like piss
learning is a thing of the past
the door has opened and closed
i'm locked inside this out side world
why the fuck no one knows
why the fuck am i trapped like this
world of forgotten minds
living on parallel lines
forgotten people of the past
in the human race
i came out last
i've been left behind
left behind with human kind
i want to go away
i'm with these people every day
human kind was left behind
and i don't want to be here
human kind was left behind
and i don't want to be here
world of forgotten minds
living on parallel lines
forgotten people of the past
in the human race
i came out last
up your bum
worked all day go out get a pint tonight
the mods show up on camden gonna be a fight
oppression from society on my back maggie you'll see
got no worries cause i got no quid
in a neighborhood full of unfriendly faces
oi oi oi
oi oi oi
cause i gotta believe
oi oi oi
somethings gotta change this just ain't right
ride the tube to the end of thre line
i got no job just plenty of time
call me a wanker call me a bum
i'm on the dole got tome for fun
don't care about time we've got big ben
toying with bobbies gobbing on them
i'm flat broke have you got 10p
fuck the system give me anarchy
oi oi oi
oi oi oi
cause i gotta believe
oi oi oi
somethings gotta change this just ain't right
society don't blame me
oi oi oi
oi oi oi
cause i gotta believe

Top Guttermouth, Camp Fire Girl #62

Sheâ‚¬â„¢s got the healing powers of medicinal marijuana
And she feeds herself the same ole crap she feeds to her iguana
And she wonâ‚¬â„¢t go to the bar
God forbid that she drive a car
And of course she will protest the war
Chorus:
I get excited when I see her
You better pass me the saltpeter
Like a sailor on shore leave
Like a recent parolee
I want to date her but first bathe her
She always eating echinacea
On her feet are birkenstocks
I guess my head is filled with rocks
Most of her friends are never happy
That is unless theyâ‚¬â„¢re bitchin
She looks down up on my comrades like theyâ‚¬â„¢re carcinogen
She doesnâ‚¬â„¢t know what sheâ‚¬â„¢s fighting for
Like a modern day conquistador
And of course she will protest the war
And even though sheâ‚¬â„¢s an idiot
(chorus)
She doesnâ‚¬â„¢t know what sheâ‚¬â„¢s fighting for
Like a modern day conquistador
And of course she will protest the war
And even though sheâ‚¬â„¢s an idiot
Even though sheâ‚¬â„¢s an idiot
(chorus)
I guess my head is filled with rocks rocks rocks

Top Guttermouth, Bullshit

bullshit, bullshit, full of shit
bullshit, bullshit, full of shit
you can't say ten words
without telling a lie
you always bullshit
bullshit gets you high
when it comes to bullshit
you're the best around
someday bullshit's

Top Guttermouth, Can't We All Just Get Along?

(At the Dinner Table)
Welcome everybody to my table
Don't be shy, man, grab a seat
C'mon, it's time to eat, dig in
Frejoles de T.J., sushi from Japan
Weenies from America
Don't forget canned ham
Monkey brains from India
???? from France
Pizzas from Chicago
Korea, dog, many cat
All we want is, all we need is
All we want is, all we need is
All we want is one more beer
To teach the world
To sing in harmony
Eating can resolve
This racial tension
Get yourself a side of beef
Electric knife, and 50' of cord
Flies from Ethiopia
Sangria de Espana
Crumpets from England
Sand from Iran
Bratwurst von Deutchland
Meatballs from Sweden
Mongolian BBQ
Bacon from Canada, eh...
The next time you're about to shout a racial slur, stop, and think about
all the wonderful dishes that come from his or her country, and channel
your energies into enjoying your next international delight!

Top Guttermouth, Can I Borrow Some Ambition?

well i'm starving for attention
and i'm looking for perfection
and my only opposition
is my lack of motivation
but i'm looking for an in
but i'm pissin' in the wind
and if i had a towel
man i'm sure i'd throw it in
i'm fishing for a valid excuse
and when i think of one
i will put it to good use
am i a freight train or am i just the caboose
too much time tied to the rails
fuck no
gotta find a reason to go
fuck no
never have nothing to show
fuck no
gotta find a reason to go
fuck no
never have nothing to show
can i borrow some ambition
or a box of ammunition
man i need a new direction
like a positive regression
i could use a new excuse
need an ace, but drew a duece
i will do the world a favor
and i'll never reproduce
i'm fishing for a valid excuse
and when i think of one
i will put it to good use
am i a freight train or am i just the caboose
too much time tied to the rails
fuck no
gotta find a reason to go
fuck no
never have nothing to show
fuck no
gotta find a reason to go
fuck no
never have nothing to show
fuck no
gotta find a reason to go
fuck no
never have nothing to show
fuck no
gotta find a reason to go
fuck no
never have nothing to show
well i'm starving for attention
and i'm looking for perfection
now my only opposition
is my lack of motivation
i'm looking for an in

Top Guttermouth, Casserole of life

i gonna bake today
try a new recipe
throw out a new arpon
move over bacon here comes something meatier
the versatile diversity of casserole is similar to living life
the ingredients are things that you can't live without
life can only be
what you put into it
my life is my casserole
and i want to fill it with fun, fun, fun, fun
the versatile diversity of casserole is similar to living life
the ingredients are things that you can't live without
everybody's recipe is different upon what you put in
these are the things that make my life taste good
donut, bacon, hot-dog on a stick
machine guns,gambling,hooker turning tricks
fireworks hunting, tons and tons of drugs
taxidermy
sometimes you can get burned
but that's how you learn
to change your recipe
and step on up to the donut gem of life yea!
the versatile diversity of casserole is similar to living life
the ingredients are things that you can't live without
everybody's recipe is different upon what you put in
these are the things that make my life taste good
hot tubs, cross bows, setting forest fires
styrofoam, tv, slashing all your tires
liquor, ding dong, pawing mommy's ring
unemployment
the versatile diversity of casserole is similar to living life
the ingredients are things that you can't live without
everybody's recipe is different upon what you put in

Top Guttermouth, Carp

time: it's always there but not on my side
time: it ticks and ticks as my life passes
time: it's time to go to work and go to school
i see a fucking problem here
get up get dressed my friends it's time to go to work
fuck that, ha ha
i think i'll stay in bed instead
work: oh boy it's fun to sweat
work: is it fucking lunch time yet?
work: i'm sorry boss my car won't start

Top Guttermouth, Chicken Box

hey blood come around
come check out my part of town
i want to see you there tonight
but in my neighborhood
you know the chicken's good
i want to see the black men fight
and now the time is here
cold chicken, chitlens, beer
i want to see you there tonight
and now they come around
these soul food stands in town
malt liquor seems to taste so right
to the chicken stand we go

Top Guttermouth, Chaps My Hide

a wet suit rash, tight pant re-hash
oh, i forgot to wipe
it's warm outside, a pony ride
a drive across the country side
a side of flan, a marathon
the pork's a little rare
blueberry tarts, then come wet farts
the chaffing in my dairy air
bull leg strut, monkey butt
bull leg strut, monkey butt
you know what chaps my hide
riding bikes when it's hot outside
isn't that fucked
boy i sure feel like a schmuck
when people scream look at him
monkey butt has set in
a rash around my pecker

Top Guttermouth, Con Especial

i kinda had a crush on you
you even said i love you too
she said, i've got no place to go
you fucking' lied about your birth control
i don't want a baby
and my answer won't be maybe
the world don't need another baby
shitting, pissing, screaming, crying
if you want it
you'll be buyin' i gave you everything i had
so you think i want to be a dad
that think inside you makes me sick
in a perfect world you would get the brick
cause i don't want a baby
just give give someone else your baby
fartin, pukin, breathin, livin
if you want it, i'll be giving
i'll be choking' off its airway
so it won't to see a fucking birthday
let's abort it on a sunday
8 whole pounds of wortless shit
and you want it to suck your tit
now you haven't got a thing
you went and pawned our wedding ring
why do you think that i care
enjoy your life on welfare
fartin', pukin', breathin', livin
if you want it, i'll be givin'
shitting, pissing, screaming, crying
if you want it
you'll be buying
8 whole pounds of worthless shit

Top Guttermouth, Chug-A-Lug Night

there was smoke on the water
a little fire in the sky
if i hear that song one more time
i'll stick a fork right in my eye
another round and a pickled egg
a truck pulled up with a 100 kegs
just another friday night
fuck no fuck no
its chug-a-lug night
here we go
here we go
chug-a-lug night
kissin' girls you don't know
here we go
beer is in my hair
and vomits on my toes
here we go
for no damn reason
i'm takin' off my clothes
here we go
i walked to the bar
but now i'm driving...
i still believe in anarchy
pardon me sir i have to pee
passed out greaser on the floor
a beer fart on his pompadour
i'm quite happy almost gay
what the fuck did i just say
something new every night
fuck no fuck no
its chug-a-lug night
here we go
chug-a-lug night
kissin' girls you don't know
here we go
beer is in my hair
and vomits on my toes
here we go
for no damn reason
i'm takin' off my clothes
here we go
i walked to the bar

Top Guttermouth, Steak (The Underwater Version)

when will my ship come in? man I really gotta know
cause I'm tired at living at the Y with 50 other guys
that smell like frenchmen
necesidad un bistek salvar al dia
my life's been such a wreck, there's no aces, no aces in my deck
I'm starting to believe that my ship is make believe
lights out at ten
necesidad un bistek slavar al dia
everyday I try so hard I ain't never got a card for my b-day
if I ever make it, I'll broil, saute, or bake it. give me steak
necesidad un bistek salvar al dia
gozar su comida

Top Guttermouth, She's Got The Look

she likes to read
i like tv
she's checking out my good friend steve (er)
she likes a beer
i like a shot
her parents think i'm selling pot
she likes the boys in the band
she rollerblades down the strand
when i pinch her butt in public
she complains
the best years of my life washed
down the...
i like to drive
she wants to walk
she caught me jacking in my sock
i like to drink
she likes to dance
i'm drunk again
off come my pants
she likes the boys in the band
i dig the surf / she likes the sand
when i come home late she's got
that look
i'm not talkin' bout that
jordache look
for you i'd do it
just for you i'd do it
i would wash my car
get a job
odor eaters for my shoes
for you i'd do it
for you
for you
i guess our eyes
will never meet
mark, please put down
the toilet seat
she likes to kiss
i'd like to fuck
all her friends
think i'm a schmuck
she did the boys in the band
i guess i'll be a single man
i used to want to sleep in
she'd complain
the best years of my life washed
down the drain
i'll wash my car
get a job
odor eaters for my shoes
i'll recycle all my beer cans
like i promised i would do
i will cancel my subscriptions
to juggs and beaver hunt
just for you i'll do it

Top Guttermouth, Surfs Up Asshole

i don't give a shit where you are from
the valley some desert or kingdom come
you read it in some surf magazine
so you all wind up in hb
first things first where do i start
a sweet v-dub bus might be smart
you read it in some surf fagazine
so you all end up in hb
surfs up asshole x3
men in tight suits
surfs up asshole x3
sure look cute
the wax, the chicks
ive seen blue crush
gonna fuck that little bitch in the back of my bus
its nice to have someone think for me
thats why I now live in hb
a tattoo a goatee a wallet chain
every single asshole looks the same
a robot producing factory
and it all points down to hb
surfs up asshole x3
every single bitch
surfs up asshole x3
big big tits
what a drag there in the break
it smells familiar and its smeared on my face
what do i do
i had to think
is that the fucking shit that i took last week
i swam ashore
i could not breath
fuck i stepped on a needle and got hiv
while the lifeguard tanned
and shaved his legs the brown breaks of huntington beach
surfs up asshole x3
hey whats up bro (spoken in true to life surfbonics)
surfs up asshole x3
the seas are polluted with medical waste
and on the fourth of july i got sprayed with mace
but i got a bro deal on a stick you see
thats the way it goes in hb
thats the way it goes asshole

Top Guttermouth, 1, 2, 3...SLAM!

Okay, here's the story about my mom and dad
One was white
One was black
I bet you think you're glad
I'm a half breed, my skin is fair yet tan
I don't know what the hell I'm on
So 1, 2...1, 2, 3 SLAM!!!
Kinky hair when I wake up
Straight when I go to bed
My dad speaks jive talk to me, don't know what he just said
My mother she's a honkey
My dad's Kentucky fried
I don't know what the hell I'm on
So 1, 2...1, 2, 3 SLAM!!!
Back at home it's black eyed peas with a pot roast on the side
It's hot dogs on Friday nights
The chicken's country fried
My dad says ";Yo boy pass the peas!";
My mom says pass the squash
I need something to ease the pain
So I'll go downtown and get some downers
Whoa, man, I'm a little bit slow
But I've got to get up somehow
Got no money
Just a good idea
Let me tell you how
I'll steal my parents credit cards
Oh yes I'll rip them off
I'll go downtown to where dad works
And get myself some cocaine
Now I'm high, and I'm not shy
I'll get it off my chest
My mom is white, she thinks she's right
She thinks that she's the best
My dad is just a negro, he's not one to play golf
I don't know what the hell I am
So 1, 2...1, 2, 3 SLAM!!!

Top Guttermouth, That's Life

the girls look really really sad
like a trucker who's breath
is smelling really bad
from corn nuts and
cokes and cigarettes
like an only child
or kids who have turrets
like a high school reunion / a dead river
how are you fine i'm doing well
looks like your wife threw in the towel
i'd rather walk the gang plank
if i must be frank
i banked on my own ideas
your ship came in but then it sank
i get around ideas
that's life
forget the inbetweens
that's life
it's all you man
that's life
just like daddy said
that's life

Top Guttermouth, Teri Yakimoto

she's a bad girl from tokyo
she's a bad girl she just can't stop
i think i'm in love with her
teri yakimoto she barely speak my language
she's a genius with a mohawk
if only we could talk
one day i asked her if she knew bruce lee
i think she thought he was in the offspring
teri yakimoto i asked her out for a beef bowl
she bought her ball shoes and glove while bowling we fell in love
teri yakimoto she's a japanese punk rocker
with a tattoo of godzilla and a tribal zig-zag man
one day i asked for a slice of pie
i think she thought i asked her for some stir fry
teri yakimoto in the back seat of my toyota
with the hatch up she hops on top
teri never lets it stop
teri yakimoto i sais lets go out for sushi

Top Guttermouth, The Dreaded Sea Lice Have Come Aboard

i got a boat and named her dicky moe
she's a beauty a real treasure trove.
i've read the manual now i'm ready for the sea
chart a course - erotic ports for dicky moe and me
boating's unpredictable
and traveling gives you lice
day 1 i was okay, no trouble in my log
if the fishing gets much worse
i'll have to eat my dog
day 19 i'm standed in peru
boating's fun - the blazing sun - evaporated food
boating's unpredictable
and traveling gives you lice
my spanish sucks, the people stink, i'm starting to fit in
we played some soccer and they let me win
adios amicos from dicky moe and me
now i've got the worst case of lice you've ever seen

Top Guttermouth, The 23 Things That Rhyme With Darby Crash

Went to a movie called The Decline
There were more pigs then people in line
We sold some lodes to get up the cash
Who was the star Darby Crash
His style was brash
When hooked on smack you'll sing like trash
Record labels steal all the cash
Just sign here your owned by Slash
Don ran the board at the Cathey De Grande
Tuesday nights we're sorta outta hand
10 black beauty's not much to ask
he preferred to be referred as Mr. Crash
His style was brash
When hooked on smack you'll sing like trash
Record labels steal all the cash
Just sign here your owned by Slash
Not many things rhyme with Crash
Let's burn a flag and clean up the ash
Your new hero Johnny Cash
That good old boy hes been outclassed
His style was brash
When hooked on smack you'll sing like trash
Record labels steal all the cash
Just sign here your owned by Slash
Australian they take out the garky
Thats something that rhymes with Darby
Lets beg for change and eat at Arby's
Two beef and cheddar for my friend Darby Crash

Top Guttermouth, Shave The Planet

I've seen a lone finger waving in the air
A simple celebration of self-despair
The transmission means nothing
This man is unaware
All alone in the stadium surviving on welfare
Denialism
Working for the minimum
To the crematorium
I'm goin' nowhere, goin' nowhere, I'm goin' nowhere
Take me somewhere, take me anywhere
Tubular socks sure fit well
When they're new and they're fresh, but they, too, will go to hell
I will cross every T, I will dot every I
For a small sum of cash my doctor will prescribe
A dose to make me happy, far from emptiness and shame
And if it ever wears off, I'll make sure you feel my pain
Every car on the road drives around with a spare
And if I had an extra liver I could live without a care
Denialism
Working for the minimum
To the crematorium
I'm goin' nowhere, goin' nowhere, goin' nowhere
Take me somewhere, take me anywhere
See you staring at the ceiling, but there's roaches on the walls
When your soul is unfurnished fill it up with alcohol
A barren, blank expression with no purpose or intent
And if God created men, I am full of discontent
Remember the days when a father loved his son
I just made a wrong turn, now I'm staring at a gun
Existence is so meaningful with TV and a job
When she squeezes out three kids and turns into a blob
A ship is flying through the air
Spraying rain everywhere
(???) are in the air
I'm goin' nowhere, goin' nowhere, goin' nowhere
Take me somewhere, take me anywhere

Top Guttermouth, Secure Horizons

yea i know
i pissed away a lot of dough
what a waste of time
i spent every dime
not planning for a sound financial future
invested in the good times
you gotta learn to diversify
livin' large on the west side
inside tip
a high yield blue chip
the interest rates will fall
open gutter mall
planning for a sound financial future
invested in the good times
you gotta learn to diversify
livin' large on the west side
started out with pocket change
learned about capital gains
reinvest my dividends
the dow is on the rise again yeah
oh yeah
ring goes the final bell
bioteck did fairly well
power lunch with michael dell
really didn't go so well yeah
oh yeah
started with some pocket change
learned about capital gain
reinvest my dividends yeah
the dow is on the rise again
ring goes the final bell
bioteck did fairly well yeah
now our mall is pretty fucking tall
the merger spawned a split
monopolize then quit that shit
you got to secure your financial future
your financial future
invested in the good times
you gotta learn to diversify
livin' large on the west side
future invested in the good times
you gotta learn to diversify
livin' large on the west side

Top Guttermouth, Contagious

One look at you is so contagious
One kiss and mononucleosis
Like a pit bull bite or staring at the sun
One look is all it took to notice
One kiss and you have left me joyless
Like a fugitive or love with no passion
Was this a test
A test to reinforce I was obsessed
A test to see how much I would digest
A consciousless mind rape
But then you go and beat me like the rest
I wonder why
You'd taken all my money
Then you'd lie
And when there was no more I pacify
You're every need and whim
But then you go and bleed me til I'm dry
I wonder why
You'd taken all my money
Then you'd lie
And when there was no more I pacify
You're every need and whim

Top Guttermouth, Contribution

My restitution to society means stay away
And equals empty grants of time
The cleansing of a conscience brought by petty empathy
Helps well to do's sleep through the night
not gonna say I'm sorry would society even care
not gonna volunteer my time to
cracked out mothers
all the others
who wasted every chance they're given
not gonna say I'm sorry my anger won't turn to shame
you'll get no apology
cuz I don't care
I came from nothing started something
Discipline was learned
That's self-sufficiency obtained
My offerings are put on hold till I get some return

Top Guttermouth, Derek

can't you see
that i'm not straight edge
you can tell
by the look in my eye
i hear that shit you preach
it's so far out of reach
you meaningless x's
don't cry
it's done man
yes, it's done man
yes, it's done
we know your scene is gone
yes it's gone, it's gone
train of thought that you'll outgrow
it's only a matter of time
i'm old enough to think
so i'm old enough to drink
i won't ebb with your tide
hide behind your x's, that is fine
but keep it to yourself
don't you get it, admit it

Top Guttermouth, Diamond Studded Bumble Bee

mt. rushmore is my favorite monument
the goldsteer is a gorgeous restaurant
golden tan and a latin accent
cowboy boots and cologne
what is this a gift for me?
a gorgeous piece of jewelry
a diamond studded bumble bee
it looks good on you or me
i love the way it looks on mr. t
i was a pirate in a former life
miners and piano players
what is this gift for me?
a gorgeous piece of jewelry
a diamond studded bumble bee
it looks good on you or me
no -- no-no-no-no-no
it goes well with a sequined dress
and accentuates my hairy chest
i love carrots not in stew
holiday in africa

Top Guttermouth, Corpse Rotting In Hell

You don't want to know

Top Guttermouth, Cram It Up Your Ass

cram it up your ass

Top Guttermouth, Encyclopedia Brown

complimentary
is an homage i won't pay
mediocracy
is the mantra of our time
nihilism
instability within
we won't be pacified
we brake to olive branch sick cow
infallibility
sardonic to the end
delusionary expectancy
of things you can't amend
don't call me a patriarch
don't honor my contempt
intolerant intoxicant
1 potato
2 potato
3 potato
dehumanize
then
immunize
please visualize
the door
5 potato
6 potato
7 potato
more
absordent
deodorant
stick that between your legs honey
constant vigilance precludes
your surprise
roll out the barrel it's time to americanize
rational thinking eludes you all the way
preconceived notion the factionizing way
constipation
is a problem from within
so villainous we can't discuss
the quagmire we are in
don't call me irrelevant
don't supersize the lies
mathematically schematically

Top Guttermouth, End on 9

sometimes i let things get me down
people tell me that i've got no future
not this time, i'm gonna prove them wrong
i'm gonna screw them all and beat the system
distinguish myself
from the rest of the flock
with my huge blue mohawk
i choose not to follow the norm
i'm as capable and more qualified than most
people, you've gotta face the fact
realize that we can make a difference
ignorance, the plague is everywhere
you know you gotta care about your freedoms
single handedly
i will wage my war on a personal level
everyday i will attack the establishment
fishing without a license
and i will drink wine befoe it's time
everything will be okay
sit at home and watch television
don't think anymore
no time for self expression
keep me in the closet man, in the dark
be a number, not a human
number 201 report for duty, sir
this time...i'm gonna prove them wrong
this time...i'll show them that i'm strong
this time...i'll fight until the end
this time...just you and i my friend

Top Guttermouth, Disneyland

get pissed, you suck
i know your kind
i know the system
i know it's not so fine
i know the bees, i know the rains
i know that logging can kill
oh, well, let's just go on dumbo
profound, that's what i found
profound, oh to the ground
profound, that's what i found
why must we chop it to the ground
my god, it's done, but i can cope
how about those dodgers
no time to sit around and mope
clear out those trees
let's make some cash
pack up the animals
and ship them to the zoo
we'll have a blast
you know what i'd do
i think it would be so grand
we'll chop down the rain forest
and build another disneyland
who gives a hoot
about the lungs of the earth
i don't, so who cares
scew it, man, for what it's worth
i knew the bees, i knew the rains
i knew the system would chop this place
and then they would make me pay
i knew the snakes, i knew tree frogs
if i knew admission was thirty bucks

Top Guttermouth, Do The Hustle

hey how did everybody get in my room
it's saturday another perfect day
till i hit the boardwalk
headed towards the pier'
your fucking gay/fuck you outta my way
50,000 jackoffs
all on rollerblades
greased up dolphin shorts
wrist guards so it won't hurt
your mediocre girlfriend
hits a parked car yea
until the day/you learn to surf or skate
college jack o faggot
sportin oakley shades
all on rollerblades
crash helmets to be safe
all on rollerblades yea
crash helmets to be safe
whoopie its fun to skate
i'll do a figure 8
watch me do a circle
going backwards down the stairs
oh gee this is fun
looks like i better run
i4 guys on skateboards
wanna ollie off my head yea
this sport is so extreme
you roller disco queens
goin to do the hustle
at the roller wonderland yea
she blades to shrink her thighs
so she can justify
2 all beef patties special sauce letuce cheese
pickles onions on a sesame seed bun yea
neat neat i really think its neat
i'm stealing every trick from every
skateboarder i meet
neat neat i really think its neat
you stupid faggot roller bladers
roller wonderland
cum guzzlin fruit cake
i hope you break your hands
roller wonderland
cum guzzlin fruit cake

Top Guttermouth, Toilet

now the time is here
toilet talk is what is near
in an outhouse outside my pad
my sense of smell makes me see red
my dog takes a drink
from the toilet which makes us think
toilet!!
pizza dinner i went out
20 beers scream and shout
now the moment of truth comes in
i'll fill that dog from the other end
i hope that someday i will find
a giant toilet of this kind
it's drained with tile and coping and
free alva decks for my whole band
skate this thing till the break of dawn
while corky and tyler pack my bong
what's the deal you say it's gay

Top Guttermouth, Big Pink Dress

howdy folks its me again
got a message to convey
i'm so confused what's to lose
i think i might turn gay
on the day my bitch left
she said stick it up your rear
she never thought she'd hear these words
woo your mustache is so tickly down there
drill my ass
oh god it's so tight
drill my ass
this is my first time
drill my ass
i love you/love you too
i live with bill its such a thrill
we get it on so fine
we tend our garden everyday
sometimes we get 69
play dress up and have puppet shows
we skip and dance and sing
he's so helpful he shaves my back
mark it's my turn to wear the cowboy hat
it's so hard
it feels so right
it's so hard
the way he holds me
it's so hard
i could just die
when we go drinking
it's so hard
the we start thinking
but doin it to liberace
then we bake a quiche
we went to church he held my hand
i gazed into his eyes
he kissed my ear i said oh dear
my shaft began to rise
he wispered let's get married
i squeeked and shouted yes
suddenly our live a big mess
he wore a tux i wore a big pink dress
drill my ass
not sure i'm right
drill my ass
what was i thinking
drill my ass
i like bull fights
drill my ass
no more knittng
drill my ass
no more skipping
i tried it once a whole 6 months

Top Guttermouth, Thought provoking sonic device

got a thing or two i want to say
gonna rock you down if your in my way
don't want no peace or love and kindness
all i really ever need is...
silence! i'll tell you when it's time to speak
riot! hopefully sometime next week
fire! starting in your own backyard
don't trust me cause i'll lie to you
gonna make a point to not come though
my smiling face will stab your back
what i really want to do is...
violence! beating grandma sure sound fine
steal! there counldn't be a better time
thanks! for everything not nailed down
when i was very young
my folks would go away say
mark go watch tv
i couldn't disobey
i did as they would say
it started to control me
i started to withdraw
i didn't care at all
filling my face with tater tots
tv made me think
it was ok to drink
and kill, rape, steal, loot, fuck, cheat, lie, destroy
violence a lot of violence
i was raised by the big blue screen
you don't want me on your team
you can't cure me
you cannot make it stop

Top Guttermouth, Ticket To Quebec

i'm proud to be an american
the ones who dropped the bomb
if we invade your country
it won't take us to long
the liberals think i'm crazy
because i feel this way
but i'm terrified of what they are thinking
not the things they say
i'm american
you are americant
if you don't like it here
take this ticket to quebec (ha ha)
its simple human nature
the strongest will survive
if the enemy shows up here
we will be forced to vaporize
a whole new generation
pathetic education
casting sympathetic views
for this i need an explanation
now brace yourself for war
or face deportation
tiss time to change your attitude
or prepare for lubrication

Top Guttermouth, Under The Sea

if i lived under the sea sea sea
i think it would be neat as it could be be be
i could visit all the fish
anytime i wish
if i lived under the sea
i could harpoon a whale
put its blubber up for sale
gee that would be great
i could saute the legs
of a friendly octopus
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8
if i lived under the sea sea sea
i think it would be neat as it could be be be
i could visit all the fish
anytime i wish
if i lived under the sea
it would be so neat to see a tanker washed up on american soil
or see the pretty hooks
in the mouth of a fish
floating in a sea of motor oil
if i lived under the sea sea sea
i think it would be neat as it could be be be
i could visit all the fish
anytime i wish
if i lived under the sea
i can visit all the fish
anytime i wish

Top Guttermouth, Up your bum

Worked all day go out get a pint tonight
The mods show up on Camden gonna be a fight
Oppression from society on my back Maggie you'll see
Got no worries cause I got no quid
In a neighborhood full of unfriendly faces
Oi oi oi
Oi oi oi
cause I gotta believe
Oi oi oi
somethings gotta change this just ain't right
ride the tube to the end of the line
I got no job just plenty of time
Call me a wanker call me a bum
I'm on the dole got time for fun
Don't care about time we've got Big Ben
playing with bobbies gobbing on them
I'm flat broke have you got 10p
Fuck the system give me anarchy
Oi oi oi
Oi oi oi
cause I gotta believe
Oi oi oi
somethings gotta change this just ain't right
Society don't blame me
Oi oi oi
Oi oi oi
Cause I gotta believe
Oi oi oi
Somethin's gotta change it just aint right

Top Guttermouth, Twins

When I think of you
I ponder all the things ah that we could do
Like take-away some Chinese
And we'll make home brew
That's what we could do
When I think of us
I want o sell my car off
And I'll take the bus
And tell 100 strangers bout the two of us
And your brand new bust
It's just you and me
How I wish we were Siamese
Joined together at the hip
Walking down the sunset strip
It's just you and me
You and me
You and me
It's just you and me
Let's buy a little boat and head out to sea
The captain will marry us
We'll live so happily
Till we're lost at sea
It's just you and me
You and me you and me uh huh
just you and me

Top Guttermouth, Baker's Dozen

oh my god
i'm confused
i want to go punk
but theres way to many rules
pardon me
mr. punker
i'm looking for some insight
on the core that's right for me
so tell me please
i'm on my knees
i like my beer
i like my steer
i don't want any holes in my face
i'm no oueer
i bought some docs
black flag rocks
like to mosh and crowd surf
i want to be unusual i wanna be punk rock
i want to be unusual i wanna be punk rock
should i be emo
and just cry
maybe i'll go skacore
and skank until i die
how about hardcore really hardcore
i fucking hate that metal shit
sober vegans you all suck
so what's your core
stupid whore
must be a riot girrrl
but you're not yery funny
hey nice tatoo
use some shampoo
rice cakes & soymilk
go sid vicious
skacore
snow core
hardcore
homocore
albacore
can't take it any more
mycore
your core
thiscore
thatcore
one core

Top Guttermouth, Abort Mission

its friday night
i've got a date
with this vegan
girl kate
you know i really
like her style
smile
style
whoa! i love you kate
but you've gone to far
you won't even sit in my brand new car
it's got reclining bucket seats
and a cd player
so what's your fucking beef
is it my cozy leather seats
is it the covers made from sheep
then i guess that we can walk
and walk
and walk
what kind of guy
do you think i am
you only take off your shoes when you're in japan
i bought this outfit just for you
so what if their suede
and now my jacket too
so what am i supposed to do
i'll freeze to death and get the flu
ok i'll do it just for you
and you
we made it out and we had an ok time
i caught pneumonia and a mild case of frostbite
she said i'm sorry mark
i hope that you pull through
next time we go out
please just wear some different shoes
i tried to fuck her and you know what happened then
she said that condom you've got is made from a lambs skin
hey what's your problem
last friday night you know i had this date
it was with this vegan girl
i think her name was kate
if you're lookin for some action
or if you want to score
just eat some bark or acorns

Top Guttermouth, A Nice Place To Visit

i take a look around
think of places i have been
there really aren't that many
i would like to see again
i've been to 30
8 of 50 states
most of them i'd shut down
3 or 4 of them are great
back on the east coast
dc's a little shit hole
you'll freeze to death in jersey
but florida's the best
i think i would rather have
prostate cancer
than visit oklahomo
it's those sooners i detest
when i see the coast
i'm at home at last
take the lincoln monument
and cram it up your ass
jmfc a giant ball of yarn
dont forget to see the thing
when your on your way to yuma
koa is a ok
but they ain't got no shoney's
i love turquoise
and shells of abalone
testicular tumors
sound so much nicer
than seeing dollywood
in the hills of tennsessee
sentence me to life
in a tijuana prison
i don't really care
feed doritos to the bears
fireworks here and there
california is for me
mississi (fart) i
zillions of mosquitoes are
gnawing on my thigh
i really love antiquing
i bought some decoy ducks
in some states your sister
is the only one you fuck
the nascar whores of north carolina
with ovarian cysts
the size of missouri
do yourself a favor and
stay in california

Top Guttermouth, The Next Faux Mohican

now that alterna-rocks officially dead
and all the white kids dress just like emenem
i member michael on his victory tour
back then he was black but now im not... sure
punk rock was cool
yea i remember it then
but it could never ever happen again (the real stuff)
that bizcuit band man they sure went limp
just like the wrist of my cousin skip
(chorus)
some people come here to take a crap
but i come here to leave one
if the sky turns blue
ill paint it black
cuz i cuz i cuz i
i don't need...
its ironic haven't heard from the spoon man
alices chain she was squashed by a pumpkin
making room for the next faux mohican
that topics hot im looking great for the weekend
(repeat chorus)
i remember it then (x3)
like back in nineteen seven two
all the hippies sniffin glue
now their back
its a fact
british invasion from the beatles
and their corny mop top hairdos
are back
emos back
that guys jeans are low and tight
and his face is pasty white
dressed in black
nice butt crack
see that trendy hipster dude
with his trucker hat askew hes so wack (whatever that means)
(repeat chorus)
guitar...
(guitar)

Top Guttermouth, This Won't Hurt A Bit

I Tell you not to drink so much, my god you never listen
If it happens one more time it's me that you'll be missin
Take it back
Don't make me raise my hand
don't talk back or you'll get slapped,
If it happens, just happens, One more time
One more time, One more time, One More time
Don't you lay a hand on me
Keep your fucking distance
The cops are gonna get you
If you drink in my existence
Take it Back
See now your eye is black
I told if you called the cops
It's teeth that you'd be missin
One more time, (repeat x 4)
Don't you know it breaks my heart
That you call it abuse and,
One Day (uninteligble)
Take it back
It's just a little smack
To let you know i love you
But it better not happen
One more time (repeat x 4)
You Filthy Whore
You Fuckin Cunt
You Dirty Bitch

Top Guttermouth, Black Enforcers

we run with the night
everybody knows we run with the night
we enforce in the night
everybody knows we enforce in the night
black enforcers
we enforce by the night
got got got no pity on you
if you don't know the handshake
we will know that you don't know the handshake
9 times against the wall
everybody knows its 9 times
black enforcers
raise your palm and swipe
we enforce with artillery force
everybody knows jay santos
we enforce the enforcer's way
we will know that you don't know the enforcer's way

Top Guttermouth, Trinket trading, tick tooting, toothless, tired, tramps... or the 7 T's

Dancing round in circle staring at the sky
Spending hours on a corner trying to hitch a ride
Your girlfriend is filthy and stoned out of her mind
She hasn't had a shower since 1969
You can't even read you can't even spell
Begging and loafingis all that you do well
Your heads full of lice you navels full of lint
Don't you fucking breath on me go get yourself a mint
Frisbee playing hitchikers are lame...
God damn hippies always smell like shit, piss, hemp and eggs
Stringing lots of beads really ain't that neat
Dirty, drowsy hippie you need to wash your feet
Daisy pickin fruit cake always low on cash
Take your magic beans and shove them up your ass!
Nothing I hate more dirty hairy chicks
The only things that like them are gnats, fleas and ticks
Always out to lunch always so confused
I wonder if they'va ever own a fucking pair of shoes
Frisbee playing hitchikers are lame...
God damn hippies... SMELL!
Stupid lazy can't hold a job
I'd love to disinfect you, shower you with bleach
Rock collecting moron, nothing but a leech
Make you clip you toenails, make you cut your hair
Rid the world of hippies, purifies our air

Top Guttermouth, Bruce Lee VS. The Kiss Army

so, you think you're kung fu's pretty good, eh?
i want to fight your brother
him, against me
let's kung fu!!
the smoke is clearing you can see
peter and paul stanley
kareem and bruce they've made a truce
while ace and gene took pcp
a flying kick right through the air
his foot got stuck in peter's hair
ace and gene took on kareem
but slipped and fell in afro sheen
then bruce yelled out "oh boy"
i think he meant "la choy"
kareem and bruce don't miss when throwing stars at kiss
gene now has a shorter tongue
they should have used their love gun
gene and ace escaped today
they'll live to fight another day
oh, oh my god
ancient chinese secret sent by buddha
blah...

Top Guttermouth, Party Of Two (Your Table Is Ready)

he's so tall
he's so slim
with that shit-eating grin
how can i trust him
hey who's that in the ten-gallon hat
why should i vote for him
it sucks
big bucks
americas conditioned
with pride they hide
their real ambition
(chorus)
let me retort on the two party system
which one will you endure
when you cast a vote in a two party system
that's when you lose for sure
hi ho hi ho its off to work i go
then off to lynyrd skynyrd
they smoke so much dope but then tell me to rock the vote
i'd rather be a retard
Ambushed
I'm to bushed to explore an alternative
they say
there's no way
it'll change the way that i live
(repeat chorus)
go choke your chicken
this two party system
that's when you lose for sure
i'll go choke my chicken
it sounds finger lickin
but it smells like manure
(oh's and ah's)
up to the mountains
in a cave i'll never vote or even shave
i'll was my hands of all this
cause ignorance is bliss
right on the floor i'll take a piss
while you endure political abyss

Top Guttermouth, A Day at the office

out in the backyard yesterday
trimming the hedge while the neighbors kids were in the pool
the power cord got a little close to water edge
and sent 10 000 volts down little billy's spine
he was only nine
better luck next time
woke up one sunday afternoon
the families gone on a hunting trop for caribou
broke out the ladder gonna patch some holes up on the roof
i slipped and fell and landed on the ground
no one was around
when will i be found
i'm sure not glad it happened
but i'm happy as can be
that it look the life from someone else
better than me bought
a home right by the plant
they said she'd never blow again like she did before
perhaps they spoke a bit to close a half passed noon
she blew like hell and then the sky turned red
toxins overhead everybody's dead, everybody's dead

Top Guttermouth, "Mark" The Cubby Chaser/Newport Sweater Fat

Long ago just you and me
But you traded up to eat eat eat
Packing on those Kilograms
Aren't Kilograms just like pounds?
That keester is sure filling out
You could use a walk about!
I'd like to tell you tastefully
Your ass is an enormity
Freaky hanas' get me off
But how can I, Jack off
Did you know that you wears
Size 16 underwears
You joined a gym
And that rhymes with slim
Bulimia at your own pace
It must be an acquired taste
Well I could tell you tastefully
Your ass is an enormity
(That's big, that's a big ass)
Newport girls act with haste
Tie that sweatshirt 'round your waist
I'd like to tell you tastefully
Your ass is an enormity!
In Newport beach you have the class
and money stuffed way up your ass
I think that I will have to pass
Tie that sweatshirt 'round your god damned fat ass!

Top Guttermouth, Octopus Hairpiece

stop
people please
while surfing in the ocean
i somehow lost my hairpiece
i watched my age increase
as some pesky octopus
took my tuft of manhood from me
(chorus)
duck diving for my hairpiece
im searching for my hairpiece
duck diving for my hairpiece
octopus hairpiece
look there on the reef
make a lasso with my leash
ride my sea horse to the deep
im at one with the sea
im a surfer from the soul
until a clam swallowed my toupee whole
(repeat chorus)
yea dude did i say dude
i know i sound like bill and ted
i got a sunburn on my head
ive been to indo been to france
but the hairpieces are cheaper
down in costa rica
(repeat chorus)

Top Guttermouth, Oats

welcome to my breakfast table this is what you'll find
a different kind of breakfast food that leaves the real ones far behind
what's the fucking deal, all these brand names all around
they raise the prices, raise my rent, but do not make a sound
now i'm getting older these changes in my life
it's the quaker man he's the one i give my hand
he's the one who picks my wife for me
i think that he is god
you know it's true
he's the one who picks my wife for me
jesus christ, holy shit, now what's the fucking deal?
how the hell should i go on if there's no more sex appeal
i give you flakes
i give you puffs of corn right off the shelf
i know you never thought of that
i know you never thought of it

Top Guttermouth, NRAA

(chorus)
oh i wanna fight yea fight fight fight fight fight for my constitutional right to party and bear arms
yea
some wars are not worth the fight
but that was 30 years before the beasties told me
now they don't stand up for their rights
to party degrade women or at least pull out the jammy
(repeat chorus)
its pretty obvious the torch has been past
and I am gonna se it through
with charcoal briquettes victors compliments of jesus
i'll have a beer with my fondue
(repeat chorus)
(guitar)
i gots an ak but i swears that i don'ts rap
i got a drinking problem too
i'm on a crusade please send me a large donation
i'll need a liver transplant soon
(repeat chorus)
fight (x?)
(repeat chorus)
(repeat chorus)

Top Guttermouth, No Such Thing

wrap your legs around me baby
i'll fill you with my love
i'll be pullin' out my power pole girlie
and show you what it does
most girls are afraid of me
but once you give me a chance
i sure like what you're showing
now let's rock and roll baby
cause there's no such thing as love
get busy rocking baby
get busy rolling
show what you got inside
get busy rocking
get busy rolling
i know what you've got inside, yeah
no such thing

Top Guttermouth, No More

i'm crazy i'm out of my mind
i said i'm crazy and you're out of time
oh yes, so crazy, so sick of your kind
i said i'm crazy baby, and you're out of line
every time you look at me
i realize what you can't see
then i know i was right all the time
up and down, side to side
i racked my brain, lost my stride
always said i'd crack down the line
so just leave me, leave me alone
my head is finally straight, so i can see where i'm going
take your silly problems back to someone new

Top Guttermouth, My Town

My town
Is a place you'll never come in last
My town
Is a place that's upside down
My town
Is a place you'll always have a full glass
Once upon a time in a fabricated land
There lived a town that was custom made for
People not understood
The chosen few and they held their flag up high
Though colored black
Red was the color of their sky
If you want in, you want in, you want in
But to get in, to get in, to get inside
No parent no fences no credit cards
No data no children no lowered cars
Culture wears a face that is hidden with a grin
The Jones' left so no keeping up with them
The rumors are that nobody thinks the same
Fame is abolished so you'll never need a name
If you want in, you want in you want in
But to get in, to get in to get inside
No teachers no kittens no wedding plans
No feelings no hunger, no hip hop jams
My town

Top Guttermouth, My Neighbor's Baby

i came home real late one friday night
i thought i was going to die
my head was still pounding from the night before
we took some fry
just before i laid down to go to sleep
i heard that noise
that little baby
it drives me crazy
so ive got no choice
my neighbors baby never sleeps a wink
my neighbors baby gives me the creeps
that babies got to be stopped somehow
with a lethal injection of gow (heroin get it)
now that we have rid ourselves of this child
with a little gow
its time to have a little fun and clean up
clean up our town
we scratched a few six six six and swastikas
right in his head
we wrote a note and we put it in its hand
now youll see red
my neighbors baby don't cry no more
just lies there silently on the floor
my neighbors baby is gonna help me (how)
get the filth out of my town
now when i come home late on friday night
and think im gonna die
my head may pound yea pound like it did before
but i did it right
when i lay down down to fall asleep
and i hear a noise
i got that baby
stuffed in a hefty ready to deploy
my neighbors baby that pissed and screamed
my neighbors baby worked like a dream
my neighbors baby it can work for you
that little baby oh i love you

Top Guttermouth, American Made

well, I got myself a new car
of course it's 44 years old
it's currently not running
but it's worth its weight in gold
it's colored prim(er)
but it's all min(er)
I paid 10 grand
for this tina can
come payday she'll be runnin
V8's milkshakes, YEEHAW!
fuzzy dice, jesus christ, yeehaw!
well she's really lookin good
just sitting on my lawn
all I need is everything
it shouldn't take me long ha ha!
maybe by summ(er)
I'll find a bump(er)
this piece of shit
it ain't worth it
I should've bought a datsun
no brakes shortcake, YEEHAW!
you fucking idiot!
you fucking idiot!
you fucking idiot!
you fucking idiot!
runs strong but not too long, YEEHAW!

Top Guttermouth, BBB

hatred is okay
disobey disobey
i'm fucking pissed
break somthing today
always look pissed
don't dress nice
don't be helpful
carry a knife
never think positive
get fucking wasted
harm yourself
quit fucking school
harm yourself
steal a car
harm yourself
ignore your family
harm yourself
sleep all day
worship dead junkies in shitty bands
kill your fuckin self.

Top Guttermouth, When Hell Freezes Over

i can't believe
what the fucks
in front of me
you must be fucking 70
at last
what the hells your problem
problem
ozzy
& motley crew
& kiss i thought that you were through
but i kinda liked the kiss show
let's get ozzy off the stage
let's get motley off the stage
let's stanley off the stage tonight
you were good 20 years ago
too much pot a little too much blow
now the bypass surgery new hip
at seisure world enjoy your stay
shuffle board bingo macrame

Top Guttermouth, Under My Skin

you're under my skin like needled and pins
you really start to bug me
but there is no end
you're a bad bad drug
like the one you're hooked on
trying to addict me but something's' gone wrong
you're under my skin like needles and pins
you're a pea brained monkey that shouldn't have a name
you want to be a psycho
want to cause some pain
what do you want me
cause i don't want you
why do you hang around when you know that i don't like you?
you're under my skin like needles and pins
through my skin
in my veins
from my arm
into my brain
you cause me nightmares
but cause no pain

Top Guttermouth, P.C.

you know, what pisses me off more than anything is all these people who
aren't exactly politically correct. like the other day, i was out walking
my siberian-american huskies. and you know how canines are: they like to
sniff everything, including each other's butts. so some guy walks up and
he says, "get your dog's ass out of that other dog's nose!"
so, i replied, "how dare you call them dogs! they're siberian-american
huskies. that's like calling an african-american a black. or calling a
mexican-american a mexican. or calling a homosexual a stupid faggot!" it
pissed me off so much i got a nose ring, died my hair blue and moved to
san francisco!
my bus is broken down
my spirit's broken too
my girl's by my side
so i don't feel so blue
thirty miles more
to make it to the city
where junk is king
and the air smells shitty
what a friendly town
it really suits us well
it took some getting used to
that fucking hippy smell
everyone corrects me
every time i speak
i'm sick and fucking tired
of feeling like a stupid l.a. geek
i like it
i like it
i like it
i like it, yes i do
i say it's not an issue
it doesn't shed much light
on a global scale
it isn't worth the fight
the tongue that girl speaks
is forked to you and me
that bitch has got a problem

Top Guttermouth, Upside Down Space Cockroach

Top Guttermouth, Musical Monkey

i've got a fanzine
so i should know
everything about every band
i turned punk 2 years ago
i tell my subjects
i'm d.i.y.
i'll call your band a sellout
& i'll tell convienient lies
i've got a lot of staples
and to much...
time to trash a band
they fucking blow
since i wasn't on the list
i didn't make the show oh well
no major labels
they really suck
except for bad religion
can't get their sticker off my truck
got my own agenda
i write the rules
i'll use my moms cash
nobody knows
you calling me a liar
yea my story has some holes
start a label
rip off the bands
liberate the punk scene
part of my master plan
if it's in my zine
it must be true
who told you i'm always crying
just because i'm getting sued
that guys an asshole
that bands on ludes
i guess my little fanzine

Top Guttermouth, Pee In The Shower

I'm not who you think I am
And I think you could use a head exam
And I know I'm not always right
But how can we make babies
If you won't spend the night
Just because I live like an animal
Room smells like a petting zoo
Sometimes I go pee in the shower
Does not mean I don't love you
Not me not me:no no no
Not me not me
Maybe all your friends were right
One look at me no more appetite
And maybe you'll give me a chance
I'd take you out to dinner
But I can't find my pants
Not me not me:no no no
Not me not:no no no
Nobody knows nobody knows

Top Guttermouth, Old Glory

american flag waving high
protecting it i want to die
i don't know about you man
but i'd rather die
than live under communist rules
let 'em go ahead and try
american flag, red, white and blue
our government doesn't tell us what to do
if you don't like living here
go somewhere else and stay a year
you'll be glad for what you've got
or go to the mid-east and get shot
american flag, makes me proud
fucking commies
i'll yell it loud
try and take away the freedom that i have
you'll be lying dead

Top Guttermouth, Pot

pot i need pot you stupid fuckin' hippy shits out of dope so throw a fit pot pot is good for my lungs it helps me grow cancer scums pot tie die shirts are really neat sell your car to buy some reef pot

Top Guttermouth, A Date With Destiny

every time i look at your face
it makes me want to taste it
makes me want to taste it
every time i look at your face, it makes me want to
rip my heart right out of me
shove me back in line
i'll groom you so lovingly - i'm yours
your worth your weight in gold
the gorgeous ring in your nose
we can take in a show
or a rodeo o-o-o
every time i look at your face
it makes me want to taste it
makes me want to taste it
every time i look at your face, it makes me want to
what we've got is very rare
you look so delicious
i'll make you your favorite meal - hey!
your worth your weight in gold
the gorgeous ring in your nose
we can take in a show
or rodeo o-o-o
every time i look in your face
i see a thousand steaks
a thousand plates of steaks -yeh!
when the people want to buy
and the market's high
just kiss your ass goodbye
you can kiss your ass goodbye
i can't explain our bond
life without you will be so hard
who's gonna plow my field

Top Guttermouth, Primate Camp

Big Bang was a theory
But now I pose a query
But my query's like a question
Unlike a man who picked his jeans
Darwin started with crustations
Add a dose of fornications
sprouting trees, swinging tails
and banana peeling feet
Primate Camp - Well Darwin had his theory
Primate Camp - From the oceans to the trees
Primate Camp - Chuckin' dung at the humans
Primate Camp - Spreading virus and disease
I've got a primate with a gun
Taylor'd better run
It looks like an A-1
And an illegal one
But I've seen it in a movie
It appears to be bologna
a society of monkeys
using humans like a slave
Primate Camp - Well Darwin had his theory
Primate Camp - From the oceans to the trees
Primate Camp - Chuckin' dung at the humans
Primate Camp - Spreading virus and disease
Primate Camp - Da-Da-Da-Darwin had his theory
Primate Camp - From the oceans through the trees
Primate Camp - Chuckin' dung at the humans
Primate Camp - Spreading virus and
Primate Camp! [x4]
(Primate Camp) [x2]
Dr. Zaus the physician
and Zera pose a question
With a chromosome a missing
Can he reason, think, and speak?
Before I go much further
They like committing murder
On horseback in the future
Guess it's part of their mystic
Now I'm straying from the topic
My nuts are microscopic
When I racked them on the goose neck back in 1972
Musta been a dreaming
Cuz the people payed to see 'em
From a jungle, to museum
I believe this be a zoo
Or a Primate Camp

Top Guttermouth, Race Track

Drive drive drive
fast fast fast
crash crash crash
die

Top Guttermouth, Room for Improvement

i will never be
something other than a worthless mockery
and when i look back i say never again
but i seem to end up srewing myself more and more
i just can't get it right, get it right
i've been told before
that i'm a looser heading for the door
i can't believe that it's happening again
and i found myself laying face down the floor
i just can't get it right, get it right
some thing come so easily but for me it's so hard to see
i never get it right
i've been told before
that i'm a looser heading for the door
i can't believe that it's happening again
and i found myself laying face down the floor
i just can't get it right, get it right
some thing come so easily but for me it's so hard to see

Top Guttermouth, Scholarship In Punk

You know I never liked high school
Though it was my intent
To land a scholarship in punk
And avoid imprisonment
Yeah my rules
That's the way it had to be
Not scholastically involved
Fill the girls with alcohol
Be more like me and you'll run the company
To get a job was your intent
But it seems irreverent
When you're fifteen years
Who the hell really cares
All that counts is getting laid
Hate her braces love the braids
The one thing I liked about going to school
Was falling in love with a beautiful girl like you
You know I never liked high school
My destiny was not
To be literate in math
I would rather take a bath
In my own crap
So don't ask me to a dance
I would rather sit in class
Than be with you and make an ass
Out of myself or to learn the saxophone
Least important were the A's
Stealing Mr. Sims toupee
When you're fifteen years
Who the hell really cares
All that counts is getting laid
Hate her braces love the braids
Some say I'm not too bright
Sometimes I think that they are right
Sometimes I think I should be president
But I'm remembering your words
But I'm remembering you're words
The one thing I liked about going to school
Was falling in love with a beautiful girl like you
Like you
Like you
Like you

Top Guttermouth, Season

this is the season
and i'll tell you something
i gots a hard on
and it aint for nothing
this is the season
to commit punk rock treason
that bullshit detector works better than it ever did before
(chorus)
its all about its all about the cabbage
watch it flow its
all about its all about the cabbage
and the blow (i'm in)
the bands line their pockets
you mosh and get jock itch
if you listen to me
i swear good things will come
the bands all get rich
while they tell you to bitch
the key to success is a faux hawk and mascara
its been done
(repeat chorus)
(hey hey's)
i may sound jealous
but i'd sell my own moms ass
for millions of dollars
to scream some stupid song
i'd rather have cash
stuffed up my ass
but complaining sounds cooler
than working for the man but we all will
(repeat chorus)

Top Guttermouth, Second DUI

sound a little tongue tied
better swallow your pride
cuz you cant find a ride
when you drink like a fish
maybe you should not drive
ill toot my horn as you pick up trash on the round a bout
for the next six months
with your ass spread wide
well you got no class
speed up to pass as your face hits the glass
two burned out cars on the five overpass
you will see your girl through the jail Plexiglas
drunk punk mini smart ass
ill wave to you
as your bus drives passed
(chorus)
and now amandas calling time to hitch a ride
lights flashing in me mirror
its me second dui
(guitar)
(repeat chorus)
left your parents nest
from the old midwest
you were second best
put yourself to the test
ty and five friends had enough of the old incest
and when he hear this im sure he will protest
that little pest and he shaves his chest
(repeat chorus)

Top Guttermouth, Friendly People

Top Guttermouth, Covered With Ants

Top Guttermouth, Live from the Pharmacy

When will my ship come in? man I really gotta know
Cause I'm tired at living at the y with 50 other guys
That smell like frenchmen
Necesidad un bistek salvar al dia
My life's been such a wreck, there's no aces, no aces in my deck
I'm starting to believe that my ship is make believe
Lights out at ten
Necesidad un bistek slavar al dia
Everyday I try so hard I ain't never got a card for my b-day
If I ever make it, I'll broil, saute, or bake it. give me steak
Necesidad un bistek salvar al dia
Gozar su comida

Top Guttermouth, Eat Your Face

sound a little tongue tied
better swallow your pride
'cause you cant find a ride
when you drink like a fish
maybe you should not drive
ill toot my horn as you pick up trash on the round a bout
for the next six months
with your ass spread wide
well you got no class
speed up to pass as your face hits the glass
two burned out cars on the five overpass
you will see your girl through the jail Plexiglas
drunk punk mini smart ass
ill wave to you
as your bus drives passed
(chorus)
and now amandas calling time to hitch a ride
lights flashing in me mirror
its me second dui
(guitar)
(repeat chorus)
left your parents nest
from the old midwest
you were second best
put yourself to the test
ty and five friends had enough of the old incest
and when he hear this im sure he will protest
that little pest and he shaves his chest
(repeat chorus)

Top Guttermouth, April 29th, 1992

April 26th, 1942
There was a riot on the streets
Tell me where were you?
While you were sittin' home watchin' your TV
While I was participating in some anarchy
First spot we hit it was my liquor store
I finally got all that shit I can't afford
Red lights flashin', time to retire
And then we turned that liquor store into a structure fire
Next stop we hit, it was the music shop,
It only took one brick to make the window drop
Finally we got our own P.A.
When two guys are holdin' hands I'd assume they are gay
When we returned to the pad to unload everything
It dawned on me that I could use a loveseat
So once again we filled the van 'til it was full
Since that day my living room's been much more comfortable
The man in the hood with the forty years
He's getting harder, and harder, and harder each and every year
Some kids went in a store with their mother
I saw her when she came out she was gottin' some Pampers
They said it was for the black man
They said it was for the mexican
But not for the white man
If you look at the streets, it wasn't about Rodney King
About this fucked up situation and fucked up police
Ooh, said I'm comin' on top and comin' on top
And screaming 187 on a big ol' cop
Show those paintings on the walls
Crabs are crawling on my balls
Wanna let it burn, wanna let it burn
It burns, it burns, it motherfuckin' burns
(Just when I pee)
Oh, half the moon's over Miami
Riots on the streets of Chicago
Riots on the streets of Long Beach
Mmm, San Francisco
Riots on the streets of Kansas City
Tuskaloosa, Alabama
Creveland, Ohio
Fountainberry, Texas, Paramount, Vista Buelle, and all these other
shitty places that no one would ever wanna go to anyways, so you
might as well burn them
Let it burn
Let it burn
(Mr. Burns)
Let it burn
(Mr. Burns, Mr. Burns)
Let it burn
Let it burn

Top Guttermouth, Rise Above

Jealous cowards try to control
Rise above, we're gonna rise above
They distort what we say
Rise above, we're gonna rise above
Try and stop what we do
Rise above, we're gonna rise above
When they can't do it themselves
Rise above, we're gonna rise above
We are tired of your abuse
Try to stop us, but it's no use
Society's arms of control
Rise above, we're gonna rise above
Think they're smart, can't think for themselves
Rise above, we're gonna rise above
Laugh at us behind our backs
Rise above, we're gonna rise above
I find satisfaction in what they lack
Rise above, we're gonna rise above
We are tired of your abuse
Try to stop us, but it's no use
We are tired of your abuse
Try to stop us, but it's no use
We were born with a chance
Rise above, we're gonna rise above
I am gonna have my chance
Rise above, we're gonna rise above
We are born with a chance
Rise above, we're gonna rise above
And I am gonna have my chance
Rise above, we're gonna rise above
We are tired of your abuse
Try to stop us, but it's no use
Rise above
Rise above
Rise above
We're gonna rise above
We're gonna rise above
We're gonna rise above

Top Guttermouth, The Album Formerly Known As a Full Length LP

Top Guttermouth, Happy Loving Couples

[Originally by Joe Jackson]
Happy Loving Couples
I've just been to see my best friend
He's got another girl
Says she's just about the best thing
In the whole damn world
And he says can't you see what the little lady's done for me
Says it like he thinks I'm blind
But the things that you see ain't necessarily the things you can find
Happy loving couples make it look so easy
Happy loving couples always talk so kind
Until the time that I can do my dancing with a partner
Those happy couples ain't no friends of mine
People say I'm too damn fussy
When it comes to girls
Happy couples say I must live
In a lonely world
Wanna be, wanna really be what my friends pretend to be
Be it in my own good time
Being kind to myself till I become one of two of a kind
Happy loving couples make it look so easy
Happy loving couples always talk so kind
Until the time that I can do my dancing with a partner
Those happy couples ain't no friends of mine
You ain't no friends of mine
You know what I mean
Happy loving couples
In matching lamb turtle-neck sweaters
Reading Ideal Homes magazine
Yeah!
Wanna be, wanna really be what my friends pretend to be
Be it in my own good time
Being kind to myself till I become one of two of a kind
Happy loving couples make it look so easy
Happy loving couples always talk so kind
Until the time that I can do my dancing with a partner
Those happy couples ain't no friends of mine
You ain't no friends of mine
You ain't no friends of mine
You ain't no friends of mine
You ain't no friends of mine
You ain't no friends of mine
Right, that's enough

Top Guttermouth, Live At the House of Blues

Top Guttermouth, 11 Oz - EP

sid shot dope and then got drunk he did it his way "punk" he didn't have a problem till he met that bloody cunt sid vicious was innocent they say he killed her it can't be so the fucking queen should know heroin and anarchy ah ah ahah.......... innocent it's not his fault that she dies he liked his chick fried now his face is on my shirt we won't forget that famous smirk innocent

Top Guttermouth, I Saw The Light

sometimes i find i can't do the things to keep you
out of my mind i need a drug
to help me forget you
you can't deny this from me
my pride
i finally realized that you don't want me
i saw the light
losing you has shown on me
i payed your price
i never asked that much from you
rolling the dice
with you i always
always seem to lose
you can't deny this from me
my right i'm gonna say what i want
you don't own me cause i know why you will be sorry
i wont be denied you can't deny it from be
every time i'm outta live i only tried to speak my mind
i can't hold on must lets go i can say i told you so
you tell me that you changed your mind your to late to realize

Top Guttermouth, Your Late

Oh my God, what time is it?
I'm late again, this sucks
Where's my other shoe? FUCK!
I need a drink-god damn!
Did I get gas last night?
Oh, well, roll the dice
Ha-ha, I gotta to to Vegas soon
I really miss those wonderful casinos
And friendly people
Fuck, I hate those people
In the carpool lane
We carpool, oooo, go fuck yourself
I'm probably fired already, shit
Oh, well
Only nine more hours
Till dollar drafts
And free meatballs
You're late

Top Guttermouth, Whiskey

do you know what i want
no i don't think you know what i want yea
gotta think of me
when i think about us i think about everything
give it back your out of time
i've got a reason what was my crime
i'm not a puppet
don't pull my string
i'm start thinkin then i'm drinkin
gotta get away from everything yea
no not tonight...
here we go again
you haven't got a clue you never comprehend yea
playing games with my head
i think about me i think about na na nothing
give it back your out of time
i've got a reason what was my crime
i'm not a puppet
don't pull my string
i'm start thinkin then i'm drinkin
gotta get away from everything yea
no not tonight...
now you know
i'm sick of you and i really ain't got nothing else to do yea
have a drink with my friends

Top Guttermouth, Where Was I

well, country's in the red
soon we'll be dead
no life, not even a flower
cause atomic power
scares the shit out of you
there's nothing you can do
undecided men
bout a war you can't win
hey, who would want to win the damn thing anyway, right boys?!
children turn green
the flowers die
all the people are gone except i
the atom bombs have exploded near
where was i if i wasn't here?
atomic was one way out
nuclear was the final bout
atomic war can destroy our race
leave the earth in all but waste
but, where was i
when the trouble started?
where was i when the two sides parted?
where was i if i wasn't here?
cause the atom bombs have exploded near

Top Guttermouth, I Read It On A Bathroom Wall In Reno

(chorus)
i'm so bored
get on board
i'm so bored
get on bored
to those who write on shithouse walls
and roll their poop in little balls
rock and roll is here to stay
disco sucks and punk is gay
pc rhymes with fcc but also with stupidity
if kobe shoots and jesus saves than shaq will score the rebound
(repeat chorus)
here i sit so broken hearted
came to shit but only farted
there is really nothing else to say
punk is now completely gay
emo geeks and pc chicks
if you want equality grow a dick
she will take a penis in the ass
but still remain a virgin
(unknown verse)
(spoken word)
(repeat chorus)
(unknown verse)

Top Guttermouth, Just A Fuck

most girls i know are so lame
red hot bods
they're all the same
nothing in between the ears
just lots of space
six cans of beer to fuck
see you later
thanks again
maybe we can just be friends
all that space inside your head
makes me want to go to bed and fuck the love i have for her is real
$2.99 the six pack deal
see her with another guy
it makes me laugh
she thinks i cried
girls in bars they make me sick
but i don't care if the suck my dick
spend six bucks on dollar night

Top Guttermouth, Jamie's Petting Zoo

i've had my pet
since i was nine years old
i loved him and fed him
but one day he attacked
i knew he didn't love me back
so i grabbed him like a football
and punted fifty yards
now i hate pets
take yourself to the vet
now i hate pets
dolphins trapped in little nets
now i hate pets
you little fucking
screaming shit-bag
i should of let your mother
eat you, little fucker
so i got a little birdy
and i trained it everyday
he knew 1000 words
but then he flew away
but then i got him back
the fucker wouldn't shut his trap
so i took him to the bathroom
and rubbed his beak in shit
now i hate pets
spotted owls in their nests
now i hate pets
bagged a deer and made a vest
now i hate pets
birds and bees and bears and bison
pigs and parrots and pandas
i fucking hate them all!!!
i was walking through the park
when a snake peered from his hole
a perfect opportunity
to take the bastard home
i chopped his fucking head off
with my handy garden hoe
and made a lovely hat-band
for my redneck cousin bo, heee-haaw!
now i hate pets
10,000 volts to the chest
now i hate pets
fed my cat some cigarettes
now i hate pets
you little fucking
screaming shit-bag
bastard
fuck you, you

Top Guttermouth, Lipstick

on a tuesday afternoon
my mom came into my room
and said get the fuck up outta bed
and get a god damned job
so i told her hey fuck you mom
and I threw the phone at her head
but i missed and hit her in the snatch
so i slamed the door in her face
and said don't ever barge in my room
or i'll kick your ass and call the cops
and tell them i'm abused
and you'll wind up in jail
while i snowboard in vail
no one to post your bail
cuz daddy loves me more
he says that your a
your worthless your lazy your stupid
a little over wieght
now give me 20 bucks
no make it 50 bucks
now mom writes me letters
i write return to sender
let her rot there in her cell
i watch the dogs mate on her bed
so sorry mommy i had to pawn
the china silver and all your jewelry
i had to eat and rent a bunch of prostitutes

Top Guttermouth, Lemon Water

What in the hell is wrong with people
The deranged should be caged
What is wrong with people
It must be them can't you see
That it couldn't be me
Where their road ends
That's where mine begins:
There's a giant hole in my heart
But all I have to do
Is fill it up with alcohol
It closes all the holes
It hides all my boredom
And subdues my restlessness
It enhances my personality
But makes me order 3 orders of buffalo wings
When I would normally have just one
It forces me to bob my head to songs that I really really hate
And it makes me want to strike someone at the bar
Who orders 2 waters with lemon
And once again I find myself bobbing my head to a mediocre song
When I notice 2 marginally attractive girls parking it next to me at the bar
Sipping spring water with a twist of lemon
and I'm ready to puke when a small child sits next to me at the bar
but that's ok because to me other people's kids are fine
so it's no surprise that it's parents are ordering water with lemon
and a root beer for the child
do you ever find yourself striving for perfection
with a virtually worthless attempt at it
and is that why I find myself eavesdropping constantly
sports bars are the best places to meet people you hate
not that I've actually met anyone
it's just a matter of listening to their conversations and assuming that you hate them
when of coarse that probably isn't true
because I can get along with anyone if I absolutely have to
oh here we go a couple a few tables down just ordered lunch
the guy wearing a basketball tank top is having a veggie burger with fruit instead of fries
and his husky date is just having a salad:it must be their first date
and what goes better with rabbit food than ice water with a slice of lemon
sometimes I think if I could be anyone in the whole world I would be a magician
no than I would hate myself more than I already do
but at least then I could make all of these people in the bar be more like me
or even make them befriend me but then again I could become one of them
and only then would I understand the befits

Top Guttermouth, What's The Big Deal?

it's a 3 day weekend
i'm loading up my truck
got tons of beer
might shot a deer
blow the shit out of a duck
stever's got a cross bow
jamie a shotgun
anything that fucking moves
ready aim fire blam!
oh my god i can't believe
the antlers on that buck
it would take 40 men
to load him in the truck
niceshot
niceshot
niceshot
got that sucker right between the eyes,
let's get a cold one don
love seats made from hides
stock your smoke house full of meat
pink & blue & yellow key chains
made from rabbits feet
trade your jerky to the indians
enjoy a goon skin hat
whip up some homemade crisco
with the extra fat
i'm wishin
a flock of geese would fly on by
i'm hopin
i can bag not 4 but 5 reloldin
jesus fucking christ
that's the biggest moose i have ever seen
get my gun god damn it get him
if i can't shoot them
i'll start a forest fire
watch em run
right at my gun
no need for oscar meyer
that's a fine looking piece of meat young man
i'm ready for that one their
yeah that ones for me.
trophie on your wall
slap some new boots on your feet
th e wallet in my pocket
kinda smells like meat
a half a dozen ouail
a hearty rack of lamb
there must be 50 beavers

Top Guttermouth, What's Gone Wrong

what the hell is going on
we never get to play
are we too drunk
are they too drunk
it's just the scene today
the owner of your club
would like to hear it
nice and slow
but we'll sit here
and drink your beer
and spill it on your floor
we don't play rock & roll
we try to play some metal for you
to bang each other's heads
but when it comes to my stuff
why don't you tell me, man

Top Guttermouth, Jack La Lanne

blame it on la lanne
when something goes wrong
that sweatsuited scapegoat
for the exercising bomb
put the blame on jack la lanne
he's our man
my lawn turned yellow
my goldfish died
i squirted some ben-gay
right in my eye
he's the fucking cause
that sweatsuited scapegoat
with the atomic sock
when he exercises me
i know he doesn't shower
when i see him beatin' meat

Top Guttermouth, I'm Punk

i'm a chick with no tits i'm a mess
always been so fond of you do you like the way i dress?
look like hell all 7 days
got no tits that's why i say
my parents are so rich
that's why i'm such a bitch
boy's underwear makes me feel like i'm punk
sixteen years i've had two beers of life
sixteen beers and i know all about life
see you at the gig i'll be pickin' my ass and nose

Top Guttermouth, Hit Machine

lets try and be positive here
for a minute shall we
can you dig brothers and sisters
i'm talking about we're here to spread
joy throughthout the world with our
beautiful music now i know you know what i'm saying
here we go
wonderful life
come on friend no time to lose
cause we ain't going to sing blues
it ain't going to matter now
the lord has said let's get it's down
think of us as jesus and you are a disciples
we is gonna lead youz
on a fantastic journey to happiness
such as you have never dreamed of
you knowwhat i'm saying' friend
holds on to my hand man
here we go!
wonderful life!
raise dat roof work that ass
fill my tank with disco gas
we pump the dopest jam around
g-mouth here to get on down
on behalf of myself pastor mark
i ask you all to add a little something to the collection plate
here we go!
wonderful life!
forgive me mark for i have sinned
one more time you won't get in
i robbed another taco bell
sorry joe it's straight to hell
spread the word across the land
you will be my new house band
seven days a week you'll play
and if you don't do what i say
straight to hell

Top Guttermouth, Gods Kingdom

i was down on my luck tired or working for my bucks
so i bought a one way ticket on a 40 foot long bus
this can't be happening to me
i think it just a dream
halfway there i saw the glare
this place is fuckin heaven
i believe, believe in god
i found las vegas i'd say burn that synagogue
now i believe, believe in god
in jus one night i saw the light
so grab a cab and hold on tight
slots-o-fun, slots-o-fun
i used to feel so lost no gambling in my life
now there's no turning back i even bet my wife
this can't be happening to me
i'm losing everything
i say dear lord
i'll steal a ford
and put it down on red now
i believe, believe in god
to you it's just jesus christ to me it's jesus keno
i believe, believe in god
fuck my health i just want whealt
and ceasar is my leader yea
slots-o-fun, slots-o-fun
evil i don't see no my
son now named casino
ask me why god lives here
you know i'll just say bingo
i'm making it a point to place a bet at every joint
drink more booze i just can't lose
this place is fuckin heaven
i believe, believe in god
it didn't take me much
i went there on a hunch now
i believe, believe in god
lucky number seven take me straight to heaven

Top Guttermouth, Trinket Trading, Tick Toting, Toothless, Tired, Tramps.....(a.k.a. 7 T's)

dancing round in circle staring at the sky
spending hours on a corner trying to hitch a ride
your girlfriend is filthy and stoned out of her mind
she hasn't had a shower since 1969
you can't even read you can't even spell
begging and loafingis all that you do well
your heads full of lice you navels full of lint
don't you fucking breath on me go get yourself a mint
frisbee playing hitchikers are lame...
god dawn hippies always smell like shit, piss, hemp and eggs
stringing lots of beads really ain't that neat
dirty, drowsy hippie you need to wash your feet
daisy pickin fruit cake always low on cash
take yours magic beans and shove them up your ass!!!
nothing i hate more dirty hairy chics
the only things that like them are gnats, fleas and ticks
always out to lunch always so confused
i wonder if they'va ever own a fucking pair of shoes
frisbee playing hitchikers are lame...
god dawn hippies... smell!!!
stupid lazy can't hold a job
i'd love to disinfect you, shower you with bleach
rock collecting moron, nothing but a leach
make you clip you toenails, make you cut your hair

Top Guttermouth, I Have A Dream

hey hey today's my lucky day
puff was taken out
by snoop & dr. dre
hey hey a plane went down today
the entire cast of friends
found floating in the bay
fuck yea hoo ray
cancer killed the guy
from sugar ray
hey hey it's my lucky day
the canadian goverment said that
we can play - eh!
climb the ladder of success
and you'll have loads of friends
make damn sure that no one
hears you when speak your mind
smile nicely laugh a little
as you slap that back
i'm so happy ain't it grand
warren from the vandals isn't very tan
just joking we love ya warren
honk konk your ska
shank your way right to
lock jaw
lucky
no fuck no
what you gonna do now
no fuck no no
what you gonna do
no no no
what you gonna do now
no fuck no
lucky me i found a magic lamp
send those eskimos
to a european camp
raining down from above
i'll releive myself on courtney love
today must be my lucky day
cause you got h.i.v. (not me)
while you decay and suffer
i'll take in a movie
i struck oil under my house
while planting magic beans
i only wish these things

Top Guttermouth, Looking Out For No.1

There must be someone out there
Who's smiling down on me
It's not really fair
I don't even care
Bestow no pity on me
We all must choose a path
In rough to our demise
Some people say no to a fork in the road
But I will never think twice
A wench might make you happy
But only half the time
Be takin no wife
Or filling my life
With heartache pain and strife
If I had my way
I would roam around the world
A beer from every land
And an eye on every girl
When your life is over
And you time has finally come
You'll never have regrets
Looking out for #1
I don't need no money
Of fame or fancy cars
You'd better heed
I got what I need
No home and electric guitars
Now that the end is near
A light goes on inside your head
While I was sailing the seven seas
You were putting the children to bed

Top Guttermouth, Just A Fucking Lounge Version

most girls i know are so lame red hot bads there all the same nothing in between the ears just lots of space six cans of been she's just a fuck see ya later thanks again maybe we should just be friends all that space inside your head makes me want to go to bed to fuck the love i have for her is real $2.99 the six pack deal see her with another guy it makes me laugh she thinks i cried she's just a fuck girls in bars they make me sick but i don't care if they suck my dick spend six buck on dollar night a prostitute for just one night she's just a fuck

Top Guttermouth, Sid Vicious Was Innocent

Top Guttermouth, Gorgeous

Top Guttermouth, I'm Destroying The World

hey mark its fourth and goal
why don't you get your dad a beer
and do us all a favor
get your punk ass out of here
dear i think our son's retarded
he likes to read not watch tv
mark never plays no football
with the kids across the street
hey mom hey dad yeah sports are great
if you like touching other men
but when we touch each other off the field
well this becomes a sin
so i understand you think i'm slow
but i don't want to be like you
because of you and mommy its what i was
born to do hey hey
i'm destroying the world
i don't really give a shit cuz it feels so
god damn cool
i'm destroying the world
i don't really give a shit no
sorry son we understand
that you just don't fit in
so i filled your mom's prescription
you'll be one of us again
hey i don't give a shit bout what you think
you made me just who i am
i'm taking up the banjo
to execute my evil plan

Top Guttermouth, S.D.F.B.

she's a little angel
only 17 but
she don't need no money
she just winks her eye
she won't give you any
but if you're in a band
then she'll call you daddy
i think you understand
mommy's little princess
if they could see you now
their precious little girl
you know she's going down
she thinks she's got them fooled
but everyone sees
that she ain't no angel
but hell she aims to please
she'll make you think that
you're the one
loves you for an hour
than she's gone
every weekend its
another band
she's seen everybody's
tour van
stay away from me, stay away from me
you fucked all the punk bands
it dont make you cool
you have become a joke
nobody needs you
its time to be yourself
its time to stop the act
i might like you better

Top Guttermouth, I Won't See You In The Pit

listen to me its a 100 degrees
and still you've got your leather jacket on
i know it sure looks nice
like sugar and some spikes
to be in vogue who cares if the heat is on
you think your cause is valid
but you're on the outside
join the rank you are fighting you will see
take over from inside
45 minutes just a puttin up your hawk
oh boy does it look good and boy do you look smart
you can sing about change
but what's the fucking point
cops have control oink, oink, oink

Top Guttermouth, Lock Down

no matter how i try and try
the dirt land on my head
the push and shove of daily life
the stupid thing i've said
have left me wishing i was dead and gone
a silent party in my name a way to right the wrong
now i'm sick and i'm tired
you fuck with me and i'll fuck with you
and i'm pissed so pissed off
nothing you say can make me stop
time is short like my fuse
bet against me a you will lose
no, i wont give up
only place i have to go is up
morning came the feelings gone
there's nothing in my head
push the cover to the floor
stumble out of bed
whishing i was somewhere far away
a silent partner in a crime affects me everyday
now i'm sick...
...the only place i have to go is up
i want to go
so far away come again live to fight another day

Top Guttermouth, What If

dateline the early 1970's
now world famous rock quartet
the doors, lead singer james morrison
has recently died
while down but certainly not out
the surviving members desparetly
tried to piece together their broken lives
every option was considered, a new name
the windows, the walls, even the door knobs
ultimately, the band opted to carry on
under the original doors name
auditioning new singers.
one young hopeful, a struggling art
student from athens georgia,
fred schnider, who went on to front
the hugely successful b-52's tried
out for this position
the lyrical style of the young schnider
more known for his quick wit and
imprompto jams was hard fought
to match the well structured
melodies of the classic doors numbers.
let's listen in...
love me 2 times
love me 3 times
i've got me a car
it seats about 20
so hurry up and bring
your juke box money
gloria
gloria
you're livin in your own private idaho
livin in your own private idaho
this is the end
this is the end
wammy kiss me wammy hug
revitalize me give me wammy love yea!
light my fire
we couldn't get much hire
he was in a jam

Top Guttermouth, What Then?

Underage, in a foreign land
Come to think of it, it was Japan
Pickin' pockets, fillin' mine with yen
Discovering machines that vend
I'd like to leave, not 'til I find
Machines that serve both beer and wine
Like an Irish man and a pot of gold
Or a four leaf clover for a twelve year-old
What then
What then
I scout for pigs, insert my yen
The good times, they can never end
I met a girl, don't ya' know
She took me for some coin-op blow
The Japanese work so damn hard
For me, it's mommy's credit card
I'll sleep all day in last night's clothes
Have a beer, powder my nose
What then
What then
Their beds are short, their toilets stink
Aki Bono, the ex-sumo king
Parades around in underwear
I'm far from home, but don't know where
The colors match so perfectly
Not to mention, temperly
Porcelain, topped off with pee
Traditional insanity
Their beds are short, their toilets stink
Aki Bono, the ex-sumo king
Parades around in underwear
I'm far from home, but don't know where
The beds are short are short
But, that's okay
We only use them to fornicate
If I knock her up
What then
I'm out of dodge with all her yen
As I mill around the lobby folks
The custom dictates you must smoke
With cancers and carcinogens
I need to find some air that's thin
My entire life I've lived this way
Like a vagabond, the punk rock way
Travel the globe and scream at kids
Fillin' water bottles up with piss
What then
What then
Their beds are short, their toilets stink
Aki Bono, the ex-sumo king
Parades around in underwear
I'm far from home, but don't know where

Top Guttermouth, What You Like About Me

beat me
beat me up, beat me down, beat me silly
beat me anyway you want
why don't you hurt me
hurt me here, hurt me there
hurt me now where its gonna hurt the most
call me
call me back, call me now
call me later call me anything you want
do you hate me
cause i bash britney spears
play the queers went to burger king for lunch
kick me
kick me right kick me now
kick me back to wherever i was found
do you love me
when i talk like an ass
smokin' grass talkin' trash brings you down
i've got nothin' to do
#1 procrastinator
i've got nothin' to say
but i'll say it to you later
i've got nothin' to do
#1 procrastinator
i've got nothin' to say
are you open
i've got cash, credit cards,
got a car its parked right around the block
will you love me
stick you hands down my shorts
down in front you'll do anything i want
beat me
hurt me
call me

Top Guttermouth, Vacation

I never wanted to be in charge
I never really wanted to have a big car
I was always told if I worked real hard
I'd always be a sucker
And my life would pass me
Take a minute to stop and listen
Not everything I do has reason
I'm not always gonna get things right
The mistakes I've made
They're gonna get paid
I need a vacation
A holiday in the sun
I need a vacation
From you
Try to stop but please don't dare me
Doing wrong but the cops don't scare me
Two wrongs gonna make it right
Do it my way all night long
Never listen to a word you say now
Gonna write my own book to live now
People always want to tell me how to live my life
Try to stop but please don't dare me
Doing wrong but the cops don't scare me
Two wrongs gonna make it right
My way all night long
Try to stop but please don't dare me
Doing wrong but the cops don't scare me
Two wrongs gonna make it right
Do it my way all night long
Never listen to a word you say now
Gonna write my own book to live now

Top Guttermouth, Veggicide

Something's up
Something's on my mind
I try to go to sleep
I try to pass the time
What gives you the right
To kill a harmless carrot
Growing in God's sunlight
You say they're best
You say they're best for you
I say it's not true
You say they make
A damn good stew
So it's time
It's time to liberate
Don't eat a carrot
Spare it
And don't eat the beet
On your plate
All my friends say
Veggies feel no pain
All my friends say
Veggies have no brains
All my friends say
Veggies feel no pain

Top Guttermouth, Viva America

you may think you got it pretty bad
well my friend you should be a fucking glad because
you take for granted everything you've got
try to find a disneyland in africa asshole!
america, not china, not canada
america, not cuba, not jamaica
get a job you leaching welfare whore
in the stars, there's non need to be poor, because
true americans our pistol packing pals
don't tread on me you fuckin' filthy foreigner
america, not asia(minor), not nebraska, electricity
we're americans, not indians, not russians
put us down, we'll blow you off the map
in a flash of hot water from the tap.
light bulbs ,movies stars, we can cure the clap

Top Guttermouth, Walk Of Shame

In the hall late for class
Night before still kickin my ass
Forty minutes till I'm on my own
Forty-five till my mind is blown
Pulling in to the neighborhood
Another night up to no good
Forty dollars to be feeling fine
Split a bindle and a jug of wine
Hauling ass in the B210
Empty bottles telling where we've been
Takin corners way too fast
End up on the neighbors grass
Pushing out to the street again
Come the cops
Put it all to an end
Screaming neighbors want to kick my arse
I'm walking home again
No use explaining where I've been
I'm walking home again oh yeah
I'm walking home again
No use explaining where I've been
I'm walking home again oh yeah
Another weekend it's all the same
This time there's no one else to blame
Nine am has gone too far
Checking in to the first ER
Walking out on my feet again
Good times they never seem to end
Better days will never feel so bad
Hauling ass in the B210
Empty bottles telling where we've been
Takin corners way too fast
End up on the neighbors grass
Pushing out to the street again
Come the cops
Put it all to an end
Screaming neighbors want to kick my arse

Top Guttermouth, My Chemical Imbalance

Ah, there's gonna be a killing
A killing, killing, killing
Drugs are not for healing
That guy just ate meat, a-wow!
There's gonna be a beating
A beating, beating, beating
The kids are on acid
And they're marching down the streets
It's my chemical imbalance
Yeah, my head is stuffed with drugs
Zoloft keeps me even
Being straight-edge rather sucks
There is no telling what could happen
If my gang was on to me
The bullets are a-shooting
A shooting, shooting, shooting
Paco plucked a pollo
That he plans to eat
Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck
There's gonna be a juicing
A juicing, juicing, juicing
I'm sober, but I'm pooping
Gorge my colon full of prunes
GO GET MORE PRUNES!
It's my chemical imbalance
Yeah, my head is stuffed with drugs
Zoloft keeps me even
Being straight-edge rather sucks
There is no telling what could happen
If my gang was on to me
Well, I was peeing in my room and I was staring at the wall
And I was thinking about everything, but, then again, I was thinking about nothing
When my same-sex parents walked in and started squealing
Mark! Mike! No, Mark! We've been noticing you've been having a lot of problems, lately
And we think it'd be in your best interest if we put you on Selective Seretonin Reuptake Inhibitors
And I said, "What the fuck is a Selective Seretonin Reuptake Inhibitor?
Why don't you stick it up your ass like your boyfriend!
And who the hell is this Zoloft guy?
Some new German, third-party, whathaveyou, weird sexual experience?
Just give me a cookie!"

Top Guttermouth, My Girlfriend

My girl friend she makes me really sick
she makes me really sick
when she's dancing in the pit yea
my girl friend she makes me really
makes me really sick
when she's dancing in the pit
with a tall boy in her hand
she'll be rocking to the band
that girl can take the heat
and she'll never claim defeat
till yer lying on the floor
waiting for the encore
from the offspring
Pennywise take the stage
girly flies into a rage
like a baby throws a fit
she'll be right back in the pit
take an elbow to the nose
pickin fights and throwin blows
she really makes me
El hefe does his thing
and it makes her heart sing
I ask her to quit
But she's right back in the pit
Taking names and kickin ass
While listening to crass
God please help me
Bad religion in her brand
Brett is back in the band
When I ask her on a date
We get in a stalemate
She would rather take a dive
Off a stage a mile high

Top Guttermouth, Mr. Barbeque

hey now, welcome to my house
i'm gonna' have a bbq and maybe i'll invite ya'
gotta side of pork
gotta' side of creamy salad
got a jar of cole slaw and a case of lighter fluid
oh my god!
my arm's on fire!
somebody pass the dressing!
everybody remain calm
i'm a professional
quickly submerge the arm in mayonnaise
says mr. bbq
hey, thanks a lot doc my arm's feeling great
oh, by the way, could you pass the mouth watering pork rinds?
o.k. i think it's about time for everybody's favorite pigs feet eating contest
ready? go!!!
well, it looks like it's last years champion mrs. brown
she's in the lead
no, wait, it's mr. brown
mrs. brown, she's choking!!!
weenies man
chicken fried pork steaks
skinless boneless chicken breasts
mr. bbq.
mrs. brown is fine
now it's time to dine
grab yourself a plate the pork is really great
you know, you never can be too careful with those under cooked pork chops
you could get some disease
or worse yet, you could get struck by lightning
or drown in a kiddie pool
so don't be a fool, be sure to take all the necessary precautions when having a bbq
weenies man

Top Guttermouth, Use you mind

Don't tell me that there is nothing wrong
It's right in front of you.
If you just open your eyes
You'll find necessity to change you don't have to be afraid but...
Running and hiding won't help to find your way
Sooner or later has got to be today
Don't let your fear dictate what's wrong or right
You pissed me off
What's got into you
Give me a sign, tell me everything is fine
You'll find out who you want to be, then finally you can see that...

Top Guttermouth, Marco Polo

Fish out of water!
Marco-Polo!

Top Guttermouth, Marks Ark

why? don't vegans have cows for pets?
why? don't they keep them in their apartments?
rights take a chimp to vote in '96
my god cows are smart as a stick
if you really want to make a difference
buy a herd and then go set them free
instead you just eat carrots and do absolutely nothing
if cock roaches roam the halls
at night they fester on your balls
a feeding frenzy on your dinner plate
don't grab the raid or a shoe
remember they've got rights to
resist the urge to go and fumigate
cows with a i.q. of .08
rats ready to spread the plague
rabbits pour shapoo in their eyes
blind better their's than mine
if you really want to make a difference
buy a herd and then go set them free
instead you just eat carrots and do absolutely nothing
if cock roaches roam the halls
at night they fester on your balls
a feeding frenzy on your dinner plate
don't grab the raid or a shoe
remember they've got rights to
resist the urge to go and fumigate
lunch a carrot sand wich sure sounds great
live my life around the veggie plate
protest write lame song and complain
march with little signs of porky pig
if you really want to make a difference
buy a herd and then go set them free
instead you just eat carrots and do absolutely nothing
if cock roaches roam the halls
at night they fester on your balls
a feeding frenzy on your dinner plate
don't grab the raid or a shoe
remember they've got rights to

Top Guttermouth, Looking Out For #1

There must be someone out there
Whoâ‚¬â„¢s smiling down on me
Itâ‚¬â„¢s not really fair
I donâ‚¬â„¢t even care
Bestow no pity on me
We all must choose a path
In rough to our demise
Some people say no to a fork in the road
But I will never think twice
A wench might make you happy
But only half the time
Be takin no wife
Or filling my life
With heartache pain and strife
(chorus) If I had my way
I would roam around the world
A beer from every land
And an eye on every girl
When your life is over
And you time has finally come
Youâ‚¬â„¢ll never have regrets
Looking out for #1
I donâ‚¬â„¢t need no money
Of fame or fancy cars
Youâ‚¬â„¢d better heed
I got what I need
No home and electric guitars
Now that the end is near
A light goes on inside your head
While I was sailing the seven seas
You were putting the children to bed
(chorus)
argh oi argh oi

Top Guttermouth, Lucky The Donkey

my mother fucked a donkey
down in mexico
she had treinta margaritas
treinta years ago
her purse had just been stolen
she rad to make some cash
for fifty thousand pesos
the donky fucked her ass
i'm so ashamed it makes me sick
my mothers box was his salt lick
human - donky fornication
her taco is the dest-in-a-tion
it soon became apparent
it wasn't for the dough
a genuine fiesta - at the donkey show
the crowd would shout ole
as she nibled on his sack
they never had a patron
demand their money back
the donkeys name was lucky
oh boy he loved to fuck
he'd get so damn excited
he'd kick and make you duck
if you want to be star
just pull down your pants
let lucky fuck your anus
a real freak show in the pit
the donkeys fucking my moms tits
acting like a true ranchero
dancing around a big sombrero
lucky the luckiest donky
lucky the luckiest donky
lucky the luckiest donky

Top Guttermouth, Gold

i think i've been infected with the flu
once again bordems got me feeling blue
sometimes in this life you've got to cut the crap
sit down for my rights cuz i don't care
to do what everybody else would do. i'm fine right here
i voted once but i didn't win. i'll never vote again
people say i should give a damn
people say that i should respect this land
but i say no way i wont compromise
either way my life remains the same
its great, come join me at the lake it's freshly stocked
no work just play leeching off the state all day
clears my mind
they say this is the land of the free
to me that means i have the liberty to sit for
my rights cuz i don't care
to do what everybody else would do i'm fine right
here
i voted once but i didn't win i'll never vote again
god bless america home of the whopper
god bless america billions billions served
every week from moscow
to madagascar, ronald mcdonald's smile warms the hearts of all people regardless of race.
color, creed, sex and social status
by opening 3 new mcdonalds restaurants as ambasador of my country, america,

Top Guttermouth, Looking Good Is All That Matters

you can't predict if she'll stay or go
if she speaks again its a brick i'll throw
don't you know
her voice will make you want to hang yourself
but something
makes you want to stay
looking good is all that matters
god bless our society
another day another donut hole
damnit honey you can eat
don't you eye my jelly roll
you know better, but can't help yourself
but puking

Top Guttermouth, Born In The USA

go fuck your system
I'd rather die
than support your terrorist war
leave it alone
you levy your tax
deny me a job
fucking cops harrassing me
just tell me why
why why why
capitalist rules
fascist mom and dad
identity is washed away
bloodsucking state
Clinton equals Hitler
money fans the flames
idol worship like a sheep
don't let them win
don't use your brain
everything's ok
relax and watch tv
have a nice day no
no no no
the human race is gone
thanx to ww3
you gave your life for nothing son
son of liberty die
die die die
don't let them win
don't cast a vote
don't live in silence
don't put down your arms
don'tbe a puppet
don't choose their way
don't feed the bears
don't live their lie

Top Guttermouth, Gas Out

go to the store, but a pack
there's 12 tortillas neatly stacked
next thing you know, grab some beans
stuff that shit right down your jeans
we run, we hide
your diet's refried
gas out...next thing you know
sorry mom, i think i'll go and drop the bomb
it's in the face, and that's too bad
rosaritas all they had
we run, we hide
the beans inside

Top Guttermouth, Gar-bage (gar'bij), a perfect example of uninteresting poetry

Real life was never like this
The door opened as I fell trough
Minds of man like piss
Learning is a thing of the past
The door has opened and closed
I'm locked inside this out side world
Why the fuck no one knows
Why the fuck am I trapped like this
World of Forgotten minds
Living on parallel lines
Forgotten people of the past
In the human race
I came out last
I've been left behind
Left behind with human kind
I want to go away
I'm with these people every day
Human kind was left behind
And I don't want to be here
Human kind was left behind
And I don't want to be here
World of Forgotten minds
Living on parallel lines
Forgotten people of the past
In the human race
I came out last

Top Guttermouth, Foot-Long

I want to give you all of my foot long
Unwrap my hot dog and place it in your bun
Vacation without sun
Cop without a gun
That's what she told me
So I guess there'll be no you
She sees right through me
I'm told my shallowness runs deep
You work the drive thru
Don't need a guy like you
Cuz not just anyone will do
You ain't no heartthrob
You'd better hold on to your job
She said I've seen your band
You guys ain't got a chance
But now I'm begging you to sing

Top Guttermouth, Food Storage

i started drinking at a quarter to four
half past eight i'm out the door when
i saw her walking right in i said
keep on goin' man don't give in
next thing you know i'm back
i gotta make my move, precise attack because
i gotta thrill frome the hurt and kill you know
mommy said don't take that pill, well
mommy said life ain't all thrills and
mommy said don't play with fire
guess what mommy, i like that fire!
i chat her up and drink some more
12:15, my mind's a blur but
beauty and beast have made the connection
i got the fever and i need her injection
come last call we gotta go
back at her place i don't know then
i knock the candle over, start a fire
she lost it all i called it fate
i guess there won't be a second date - damn
i guess there won't be
burnin up
i never caught her name
burnin up
disfigured and she's mamed
burnin up
i hope that she forgets me
burnin up
don't want to say i'm sorry
burnin up
messed up our little party
what you gonna do?
gonna do now?
burnin up
i never caught her name
burnin up
disfigured and she's mamed
burnin up

Top Guttermouth, God, Steve McQueen "The Work Song"

Well, I swing this hammer from 9 to 5
Been workin' for the man just to stay alive
W-O-R-K is how I spell work
Feel depressed, I miss my family
Maybe if I work long then I'll feel just fine
Haven't smoked in a week
My back is kinda tweaked
Give me work, give me pride, give me loads of overtime
Work, work, work, work, work, work, work
Well, I work all day and drink all night
We fight all morning 'til we get it right
Then, we go to school to be a journeyman
My mother works, my father works
My brother works and now I work
That's all I do is work, work, work, work, work
Lots of pride I get from work
Dad says real men have to work
A union man gets lots of pride from work
In the bailing fields or on the farm
I've only got a tan on half of my arm
I work real quick when you hit me with a whip
Give me work, give me pride, give me loads of overtime
Work, work, work, work, work, work, work
Well, I work all day and drink all night
We fight all morning 'til we get it right
Then, we go to school to be a journeyman
My mother works, my father works
My brother works and now I work
I love to work, work, work, work, work, work
America
A country carried on the back of the working man
A man with fire in his eyes and steel in his belly
A man who could build anything
Like a chair or a table, or he can fix a car, or he can fix a radiator
Without him you wouldn't be able to drive to work
And then you wouldn't be able to work
And no one would go to work 'cause
Work, work, work, work, work, work, work
Well, I work all day and drink all night
We fight all morning 'til we get it right
Then, we go to school to be a journeyman
My mother works, my father works
My brother works and now I work
I love to work, work, work, work, work, work

Top Guttermouth, Give me a gun

Give me a gun cause cause bombs and guns are really fun
I've lost my job my moneys gone live like a slob
I've got no home only streets to roam live so alone
I'm barely alive I feed on cats to survive
My wife left me my kids are dead
All this guilt is in my head
I can't go on living like this
I wish that I was dead I wish
Give me a gun I'll kill a nun just wait and see
Give me a gun I'll shoot a cop to be on TV
Nothing could be more fun than a shooting spree
Once again I found myself back on TV
Guns are fun so much fun neato fun, fun, fun
better run I got a gun
Come on down and join the fun

Top Guttermouth, Ghost

digging graves in my living room
red roses in full bloom
a hanging lamp floats down the hall
i believe in ghosts
though ghosts i never see
ghosts are in my house
they're making fun of me
i can't wake up
from this nightmare
slamming doors when i try to sleep
see me scared the more they reap

Top Guttermouth, Generous portions

Over indulgence...
A pick me up for when I'm feeling down
A cold one with a line to face the day... O.K.
My dealers house is always on the way... I say...
Increase my potential for success
My potential for succes
I'm undestructible...
Bathing in a sea of P.C.P.
Washing Qualudes Down with '83 chablis... WHOOPIE!
Make new friends with pots of mushroom tea... you'll see
Where the hells my god damn L.S.D.
where's my god damn L.S.D.?
I wake up in the morning, I need a lot of drugs
Anytime, Anyplace, I need a lot of drugs
On the way to sunday school, I need a lot of drugs
For any situation just get yourself some drugs

Top Guttermouth, Food For Thought

I just want to eat some pills
Little ones big ones get my fill
Don't matter what kind cause I'll be buying them
Up or down I rely on them
Little red ones
Quay ludes
And the beauties
I gotta get gotta gotta get gotta gonna get some pills
I just wanna eat pills kill the pain
Makes me smart speeds up my brain
Kids at school lining up and buying them
Day or night I'll be selling them
Little cross tops
Pink hearts
And Vicodin
I gotta get gotta gotta get gotta gonna get some pills

Top Guttermouth, Flacidism

Got no life, got no ambition
I've got autism
Where I'll be in ten years
Nobody knows and nobody cares
I've seen the sign "Don't feed the bears"
I'm waging war from an easy chair
Got no life, got no ambition
Out of pills, flacid condition
Oh, my boner's vanished
Please, return to me, boner
Fifteen years have come and gone
Vacation at the Reeperbahn
Prostitutes and drugs I'm on
Out of dope, my boner's gone
Got no life, got no ambition
Out of pills, flacid condition
Oh, my condition is flacid as can be
What does flacid mean?
Look it up in the dictionary
In the dictionary
I bet the dictionary never has to take pills to get a boner
'Cause his first name is Dick
If you think about it
His first name is Dick, dictionary
There's no way that he will ever have to--
Yeah, blackism, dictionaryism, flacidism
Oh, oh, blackism, flacidism, dictionaryism
Dictionaryism, dictionaryism
Read me, you can read me like a book

Top Guttermouth, Asshole

i don't like the things you like
and you don't like the things i like
she don't like the things they like
so who the fuck is really right
see a skinhead at a show
let him know he's got to go
fuck white power, the kkk
asshole
everyone's an asshole
my mom's an asshole
you're a fucking asshole
and i'm a goddamn asshole
mom and dad, the grateful dead
major labels and straight edge
coors and school and roller blades
god, rick james and oakley shades
fishing, wayne, silly jocks
nazis, midgets, new tube socks
l.d. from m.r.&r.;
and fucking zeppelin
hippies, barleys, pearl jam
chili peppers, case of spam
riot grrlls, ponch and jon
squash and pork and carmel flan
we hate these things
we hate you, too
go fuck a monkey in the zoo
oscar meyer has a way with

Top Guttermouth, Perfect World

if i lived in a perfect world
i would spend my days lying in the sun
the party never ends in a perfect world
if your life has hit the skids
wave goodbye to the wife & kids
i'm ready to move into a perfect world
nacho cheese and anarchy
boy that sure sounds good to me
every kind of drug is free
in the new america
shoot your pistol in the air
celebrate a brand new year
living leisurely in a perfect world
everybody's drinking hams
good by all you straight edge bands
sit around and get a tan
in the new america
when i turn on my t.v.
nothing but pornography
no more rated "g" in a perfect world
strung out hookers everywhere
have a picnic feed the bears
now nobody even cares
in the new america
nothing in this worlds for free
cause everything belongs to me

Top Guttermouth, Power Up

the son of god once showed his face
upon my tortilla
since that day faith's renewed
he won't let me faulter
he guides me down a golden path
he shields me from sin
without the spirit life's meaningless
i'll go the distance with him
i've been to the point of no return
suggestive posters on my wall
i'd participate in gluttony
greed and wanton lust
i cheated on my s.a.t's
once i double parked
if you asked then for a cigarette
there was a good chance i had one
there was a good chance that i had one
oh yea
there's a chance that i had one
oh yea there's a chance that i had one
i'd sloth around in my underwears
just watching t.v
my former friends they stay out late
they drink and carry on (that's wrong)
they go on dates with party girls
and stay in cheap motels
i stay home try to better myself
by burning science books
once i tried to masturbate
and finger my own ass
when i marry i'll procreate
hands off myself till then
christmas easter they're okay
but the meaning has been lost
remember friend it wasn't santa claus
who was nailed to the cross
remember friend it wasn't santa
oh yea
it wasn't santa
oh yea
it wasn't santa
oh yea
i serve the lord at the telethon
ready to man the phones
for him i'll always vote pro-life
those clinics should be bombed
power up's here to lead the flock
lead to salvation (army)
jesus christ superstar

Top Guttermouth, Trinket trading, tick tooting, toothless, tired, t

Top Guttermouth, Gar-bage (gar'bij), a perfect example of uninteres

Top Guttermouth, Use Your Mind

don't tell me that there is nothing wrong
it's right in front of you.
if you just open your eyes
you'll find necessity to change you don't have to be afraid but...
running and hiding won't help to find your way
sooner or later has got to be today
don't let your fear dictate what's wrong or right
you pissed me off
what's got into you
give me a sign, tell me everything is fine
you'll find out who you want to be, then finally you can see that...
running and hiding won't help to find your way
sooner or later has got to be today

Top Guttermouth, Hot Dog To The Head

(chorus)
hot dog to the head
did you hear what i just said
right before you go to bed
you get a god damn hot dog to the head
(repeat chorus)
(repeat chorus)
(repeat chorus)
wiener to the face
puts you right in your place
how do you like the taste
you get a fucking wiener in the face
wiener to the face
puts you right in your place
how do you like the taste
you get a big ol wiener in the face
schnitzel to the lips
one between the tits
two between the hips
how bout a schnitzel to the lips
schnitzel to the lips
one between the tits
how do you like my lisp
how bout a schnitzel to the lips
(guitar)
(repeat chorus)
(repeat chorus)
(repeat chorus)

Top Guttermouth, Hypocrite

see you at church and i see you at school
say that you live by the golden rule
but, look again, it's all a lie
you're a hypocrite, and i don't know why
you're a hypocrite and i don't know why
your life's filled with distortions and lies
see you at a party, don't know what to say
when i catch you in a lie, you just turn your head away
but take a look around, you've got none to fool
because none of us live by mother's golden rule
take a look around, not a fucking sound
i stare at you
so what you gonna' do?
you live a life of lies
the truth to you is no surprise
you say it's on the way

Top Guttermouth, You're Late

oh my god, what time is it?
i'm late again, this sucks
where's my other shoe? fuck!
i need a drink-god damn!
did i get gas last night?
oh, well, roll the dice
ha-ha, i gotta to to vegas soon
i really miss those wonderful casinos
and friendly people
fuck, i hate those people
in the carpool lane
we carpool, oooo, go fuck yourself
i'm probably fired already, shit
oh, well
only nine more hours
till dollar drafts
and free meatballs

Top Guttermouth, Good Friday

thank you for the easter bunny
sitting at my door
it wasn't made of chocolate
but it shit right on my floor
and thank you god for x-mas trees
return the gifts for money
thank you for my paycheck
now heres your 10%
i'd love to give you more
but i bareley make my rent
thank you lord for turning
fruity grapes right into wine
it sure does make it easy
to out my pick up line
once there was no t.p.
inside my hotel room
the bible had 10,000 pages
i only used a few
sunday school such a joy
forced to fondle reverend roy

Top Guttermouth, Guadalahabra (The La Habra Spirit)

the town that i grew up in
la habras what its called
i knew a guy named sluggo
webol head rolo guy crook and ron
the west side was the one side
full of pride suba and cocaine
he will be beatin on a brat with a baseball bat
i said to him are you insane and he said im chicano
sugar bears a lawyer rolos in and out of ocj
brown power fred get you ass out of bed richard guiterez sounded gay
the west side was the one side
full of pride complimentary cash
you don't even have to ask
to get a bullet in the ass
one thing they had in common
they were ah ah chicano

Top Guttermouth, Gusto

Well I'm going for the gusto
No not because I'm supposed to
It's a well-known fact
No I'll never look back
Gonna have another beer
Yeah I'm going for the gusto
No not because I'm supposed to
Most folks sit and watch tv
And think that they're alive
Football, frozen dinners, in-laws
The good times never die
And once in awhile I see myself
And it makes me want to cry
Suddenly I realize
These good times are a lie
I used to walk her home from school
Each and every day
My friends would laugh and throw some rocks
But they too knew she was great
Till I saw her swapping kisses
With that guy named Gary Tate
So I kicked his ass off the overpass
That's back when I was eight
At my brother's wedding
She done ask me fur a dance
I told that gal I ain't real good
But I guess I'll take a chance
With the lights turned low
The music slow
Seemed to put her in a trance
Well fuck this shit
I'm doing it

Top Guttermouth, High Balls

imagine my friend that the well has run dry
the bar keep resigns cause there won't be more rye
trade lies with your mates then you have a good cry
it's finally happened no more good times
what would you do and what would you say?
if some bloody bastard took the high balls away
my god the world would insist that we cannot
be happy until we are pissed off our ass!
day by day they take our freedom
who the hell gives them the right?
hold your glass up high and we'll
drink on and on and on and on
if I'm happy or I'm sad
Jack Daniel's makes me feel allright
raise your glass up high and we'll sing
on and on and on and on
all we want all we want all we want
is high balls for everyone
and then, this fucked up world would seem allright
hold on Jacky, save me your goodbye's
hold on Jacky, need a double rye
we got your back Jack baby no more feelin dry
so cheers to you my dear old friend
come on Jacky, gimme the good times
come on Jacky, don't wanna walk the line
we got your back, Jack baby no more feeling dry
so cheers to you and all our/your friends tonight
day by day they take our freedom
who the hell gives them the right?
hold your glass up high and we'll
drink on and on and on and on
if I'm happy or I'm sad
Jack Daniel's makes me feel allright
raise your glass up high and we'll sing
on and on and on and on
all we want all we want all we want
is high balls for everyone

Top Guttermouth, I Won't Seee You In The Pit

Top Guttermouth, Hopeless

seventeen and hopeless and i don't care just want to get laid and drink some beer no responsibility nothing to do i can do anything i put my mind to born in this world die in this world life goes on now i'm twenty-three my futures in sight got a steady boring job my future don't look so bright try to fight the system but i keep to myself i take my mind out at night and put it on the shelf now i'm thirty-four it's a nore smashed my nuts in the kitchen door do you want to tell me tell me now just how life is such a cow

Top Guttermouth, Sucking Dick For Beer

She's a little angel
only 17
she don't need no money
she just winks her eye
she wont give you any
but if your in a band
then she'll call you daddy
I think you understand
Mommy's little princess
if they could se her now
their precious little girl
you know she's going down
she thinks she's got them fooled
but everybody sees
that she ain't no angel
but hell she aims to please
she'll make you think that
your the one
loves you for an hour
than she's gone
every weekend its
another band
she's seen everybody's
tour van
stay away from me, stay away from me
you fucked all the punk bands
it don't make you cool
you have become a joke
its time to be yorself
its time to stop the act
I might like you better
so just get of your back

Guttermouth - "She's Got the Look" Epitaph Records

Guttermouth - Musical Monkey (1997)

Guttermouth - Friendly People (1994)

Guttermouth Covered with Ants Full Album

Guttermouth - Teri Yakimoto (1996)

Guttermouth - Full Length LP (FULL)

Guttermouth - Gusto (2002) [Full Album]

Guttermouth - Live in The House of Blues

Guttermouth - "Perfect World" (Music Video)

GUTTERMOUTH "Goes on Vacation" - TRAILER (Warning: Explicit Content!)

Guttermouth - "Whiskey" Nitro Records

Guttermouth - Lipstick

Guttermouth - 1, 2, 3 Slam!

Guttermouth 1,2,3 Slam

Guttermouth Filmography

Guttermouth - "She's Got the Look" Epitaph Records

Guttermouth - Musical Monkey (1997)

Guttermouth - Friendly People (1994)

Guttermouth Covered with Ants Full Album

Guttermouth - Teri Yakimoto (1996)

Guttermouth - Full Length LP (FULL)

Guttermouth - Gusto (2002) [Full Album]

Guttermouth - Live in The House of Blues

Guttermouth - "Perfect World" (Music Video)

GUTTERMOUTH "Goes on Vacation" - TRAILER (Warning: Explicit Content!)

Guttermouth - "Whiskey" Nitro Records

Guttermouth - Lipstick

Guttermouth - 1, 2, 3 Slam!

Guttermouth 1,2,3 Slam

Guttermouth - Lipstick (Lyrics)

Guttermouth - "End on 9" Nitro Records

Guttermouth-Pee in the Shower

guttermouth bakers dozen

Guttermouth - Whiskey (Music Video)

Guttermouth - Live Set (3-9-2015)

Guttermouth - Chug-A-Lug Night

Guttermouth - End on 9

Guttermouth - God's Kingdom

Guttermouth Live at The Pyramid Scheme, Grand Rapids MI 4 11 2014

Guttermouth Live Let's Kung Fu and 123 Slam

GutterMouth - (Live at Amnesia Rockfest)

Guttermouth - Live On Recovery (1998) ABC TV

GUTTERMOUTH Live at Paramout Music Hall 7.29.1995

Guttermouth @ Riverside, CA 2-13-15

Guttermouth - Lipstick

Guttermouth @ Local 662 6-13-13 (Full Set)

GUTTERMOUTH 8/4/94 pt.1 "Where Was I?" & "Just A Fuck" Live In Toronto (2 camera)

Guttermouth Live @ the Tivoli - Bruce Lee vs The KISS Army

Guttermouth - Can I Borrow Some Ambition? Live @ Bendigo Hotel, Melbourne 2015

Guttermouth - "Lipstick" (Live - 2003) (HD) The Show Must Go Off! / Kung Fu Records

GUTTERMOUTH live at the Whisky a go go December 19,2013

Guttermouth-looking out for LIVE

Guttermouth - 1-2-3 Slam - Live

Guttermouth - LIVE / LIVE

Guttermouth Live in Council Bluffs Iowa

Guttermouth - Live In Sydney 2007

GUTTERMOUTH LIVE @ BILLY'S "SURF'S UP ASSHOLE" and "LUCKY THE DONKEY" PART 1

Guttermouth - I'm Destroying The World / Party of Two - Live @ Bendigo Hotel, Melbourne, 2015

Guttermouth - Seattle, WA @ RKCNDY 3/20/99

GUTTERMOUTH @ THE OBSERVATORY 12/27/2014 "VULTURE VIDEO"

guttermouth friendly people 1994 full album

guttermouth teri yakimoto 1995 full album

GUTTERMOUTH FAREWELL AUSTRALIAN TOUR @Karova Ballarat full set

Guttermouth - Kansas City, MO @ VFW 7/15/95

Guttermouth - Friendly People FULL GUITAR Cover

Amnesia Rockfest Montebello 2014: Guttermouth

Osker LIVE Opening for Guttermouth, Full Show DVD

Guttermouth - The Album Formerly Known as Full Length LP GUITAR Cover

Guttermouth - Live From The Pharmacy GUITAR Cover

Guttermouth - Club Karma 2008

7-9-15 Propaganda Lake Worth - Here To Nowhere & Guttermouth FULL VIDEO

GUTTERMOUTH - MARK ADKINS

INTERVIEW WITH MARK ADKINS & ALEX FLAMSTEED OF GUTTERMOUTH

Slidebar TV: Guttermouth

GUTTERMOUTH | Mark Adkins VS Security | Byron Bay 2013

Music & Mayhem with Jon Russell,Jon talks with the band Gutter Mouth.

Mark Adkins of Guttermouth Fights Girl @ Hodi's Halfnote - Fort Collins CO

Guttermouth Interview

Guttermouth interview (8/16/09)

gutter mouth in Hawaii 1994? Live Concert Footage and Interviews