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Oct 09

She's killing me softly with her song ... killing me softlyClick for full image

Bibliomancer’s Art Direction: My name is Bibliomancer. I’m from 2015 in the future. I want a cover with a future-retro Amy Winehouse using a space music ghetto blaster to kill some dudes … and a satyr! Don’t make the art very good. I need it to win a ten-star rating on a website of terrible sci-fi cover art. Why are you looking at me like that?

Published 1961

You might remember this from here

and also here

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.56 out of 10)
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Oct 07

Uh... could you turn me back into a tree...please... PLEASE!!!Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments:  I’ve spent days creating this DNA model for the Scientific convention of abominations. To the conference centre Bill! Come on now, hurry… no complaining!
Published 1987

Many thanks to Chris M for sending this in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.42 out of 10)
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Oct 05

Antique Chippendale space ships are made of only the highest quality carved hardwoodsClick for full image

Chuffmunky’s Art Direction: “Ok there’s NO budget for the cover this time. Go through that pile of dusty CDs; there should be some forgotten illustrators’ portfolios from the 90’s we can raid.”

Published 2012

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.33 out of 10)
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Oct 02

Mister Toad's Wild Ride, indeed.Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Wankh On, Jeeves.
Published 1979

You might remember this from here

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.53 out of 10)
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Sep 30

And another thing it's freezing in here! Can we at least get some HEAT!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Gawd, Sarah, I told ya there’s a reason we don’t come to this restaurant anymore!
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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Sep 28

I'll never order from you again! I asked for this devil to be gift wrapped!Click for slightly larger image

Scott B Comments: Operation Devil Drop?
Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.35 out of 10)
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Sep 25

STOP RIDING US NAKED! AHHHHH!Click for full image

Chuffmunky Comments: It’s the 53rd century and pervert aliens from another dimension have turned humans into debauched goblin troglodytes……. About frickin time man!
Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.31 out of 10)
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Sep 21

Hey look, it's Roseanne RoseannadannaClick for full image

Bibliomancer’s Comments: “Get your slimy squid tentacles off my cleaning lady. Domestic servants are hard to find!”
Published 1975

The epic wraparound cover

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.93 out of 10)
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Sep 18

Looks like dinner is going to be space meat balls again!Click for full image

Perry Comments: John & Marsha stared in horror as hate-criminals threw rocks at the Toilet Door People’s picnic.

Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.35 out of 10)
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Sep 16

You moron, when I said wear a rubber on this date, I didn't mean on your headClick for full image

Bibliomancer’s Comments: As Sally dressed up in her new titanium hat she suddenly had second thoughts about agreeing to a blind date with that hunky astronaut’s college roommate.

Published 1961

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.20 out of 10)
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