Angela Dorothea Merkel, German: [aŋˈɡeːla doʁoˈteːa ˈmɛʁkl̩] ( listen); née Kasner (born 17 July 1954) is the Chancellor of Germany and Chairwoman of the Christian Democratic Union (CDU). Merkel is the first female Chancellor of Germany.
A physical chemist by professional background, Merkel entered politics in the wake of the Revolutions of 1989 and briefly served as the deputy spokesperson for Lothar de Maizière's democratically elected East German government prior to the German reunification. Following reunification in 1990, she was elected to the Bundestag, where she has represented the state of Mecklenburg-Vorpommern since. She served as Federal Minister for Women and Youth 1991–1994 and as Federal Minister for the Environment, Nature Conservation and Nuclear Safety 1994–1998 in Helmut Kohl's fourth and fifth cabinets. She was Secretary General of the CDU 1998–2000, and was elected chairperson in 2000. From 2002 to 2005, she was also chair of the CDU/CSU parliamentary coalition.
After her election as Chancellor following the 2005 federal election, she led a grand coalition consisting of her own CDU party, its Bavarian sister party, the Christian Social Union (CSU), and the Social Democratic Party of Germany (SPD), until 2009. In the 2009 federal election, the CDU obtained the largest share of the votes, and formed a coalition government with the CSU and the liberal Free Democratic Party (FDP).
Plot
The Republic of Wadiya is ruled by an eccentric and oppressive leader named Hafez Aladeen. Aladeen is summoned to New York to a UN assembly to address concerns about his country's nuclear weapons program, but the trip goes awry.
Keywords: 1970s, 2010s, 20th-century, 21st-century, 911-joke, abortion, abortion-joke, actress-playing-herself, african-american, american-hypocrisy
[from trailer]::General Aladeen: Is there any way you could lend me some money? Maybe... 20 million dollars?
General Aladeen: Why are you guys so anti-dictators? Imagine if America was a dictatorship. You could let 1% of the people have all the nation's wealth. You could help your rich friends get richer by cutting their taxes. And bailing them out when they gamble and lose. You could ignore the needs of the poor for health care and education. Your media would appear free, but would secretly be controlled by one person and his family. You could wiretap phones. You could torture foreign prisoners. You could have rigged elections. You could lie about why you go to war. You could fill your prisons with one particular racial group, and no one would complain. You could use the media to scare the people into supporting policies that are against their interests.
Doctor: [Aladeen rewrote the language so his name means both "positive" and "negative"] Do you want the Aladeen news or the Aladeen news?::Patient: The Aladeen news?::Doctor: You're HIV-Aladeen.
General Aladeen: [to his pregnant wife] Are you having a boy or an abortion?
Pregnant Woman: You two make a cute couple. But could you do this later? When you're not *elbow deep in my PUSSY!*
Nadal: I am a mac genius.::General Aladeen: So what do you do?::Nadal: Mostly I clean semen out of laptops.
General Aladeen: Oh it's a girl. I'm so sorry. Where's the trashcan?
General Aladeen: Sub Saharan, can you have 150 child warriors here by 5:00pm?
Nadal: When the thought of someones decapitated head upsets you, that is love.
General Aladeen: You seem educated.::Zoey: Yes, I went to Amherst.::General Aladeen: I love it when women go to school. It's like seeing a monkey on rollerskates. It means nothing to them, but it's so adorable for us.
Plot
In 1913 a farmer finds a strange looking newspaper from the future lying on his ground. He picks it up and starts to read, when the world around him suddenly starts to change and Angela Merkel, the German canceler stands right beside him. He is flabbergasted with surprise and turns another page, and in this very moment the politician disappears and three's a bunny competition on the field with dozens of rabbits around his feet. Again he turns the page an this time three's a whole soccer-team fighting for the ball. Then his wife arrives...