Sir Charles Spencer "Charlie" Chaplin, KBE (16 April 1889 – 25 December 1977) was an English comic actor, film director and composer best known for his work during the silent film era. He became the most famous film star in the world before the end of World War I. Chaplin used mime, slapstick and other visual comedy routines, and continued well into the era of the talkies, though his films decreased in frequency from the end of the 1920s. His most famous role was that of The Tramp, which he first played in the Keystone comedy Kid Auto Races at Venice in 1914. From the April 1914 one-reeler Twenty Minutes of Love onwards he was writing and directing most of his films, by 1916 he was also producing them, and from 1918 he was even composing the music for them. With Mary Pickford, Douglas Fairbanks and D. W. Griffith, he co-founded United Artists in 1919.
Chaplin was one of the most creative and influential personalities of the silent-film era. He was influenced by his predecessor, the French silent film comedian Max Linder, to whom he dedicated one of his films. His working life in entertainment spanned over 75 years, from the Victorian stage and the music hall in the United Kingdom as a child performer, until close to his death at the age of 88. His high-profile public and private life encompassed both adulation and controversy. Chaplin was identified with left-wing politics during the McCarthy era and he was ultimately forced to resettle in Europe from 1952.
Plot
Officer Collins has been spearheading one of the US Army's most secretive experiments to date: the Human Hibernation Project. If successful, the project would store its' subjects indefinitely until they are needed most. Their first test subject - Joe Bowers - was not chosen for his superiority. Instead, he's chosen because he's the most average guy in the armed services. But scandal erupts after the experiment takes place, the base is closed, and the president disavows any knowledge of the project. Unfortunately Joe doesn't wake up in a year, he wakes up in 500 years! But during that time human evolution has taken a dramatic down turn. After waking up, Joe takes a prison-assigned IQ test and finds that he's the smartest guy alive! Awaiting a full presidential pardon if he can solve one of the country's biggest problems - the dwindling plant population, Joe races against time to solve this problem. But in doing so he alienates half the country in the process! Can he make things right and escape a rather bizarre execution?
Keywords: 26th-century, american-flag, amusement-park, army, arrest, avalanche, barcode-tattoo, bare-chested-male, black-u.s.-president, brainwashing
The Future Is A No Brainer
In the future, intelligence is extinct.
Frito: Go away! 'Batin'!
Pvt. Joe Bowers: [addressing Congress]... And there was a time in this country, a long time ago, when reading wasn't just for fags and neither was writing. People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting, and I believe that time can come again!
Costco Greeter: [Greeting every customer] Welcome to Costco, I love you. Welcome to Costco, I love you. Welcome to Costco, I love you. Welcome to Costco, I love you.
Doctor: [laughs] Right, kick ass. Well, don't want to sound like a dick or nothin', but, ah... it says on your chart that you're fucked up. Ah, you talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded. What I'd do, is just like... like... you know, like, you know what I mean, like...
Officer Collins: [addressing military brass] You see, a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.
Rita: Can you take me there? [Points at TV where "Monday Night Rehab" is showing]::Frito: [Lifts Rita to TV]::Rita: Not here, you fucking moron - there! [Points at TV again]
Secretary of State: I'm Secretary of State, brought to you by Carl's Jr.
[Billboard Ad]: If you don't smoke Tarryltons... Fuck You!
Doctor: Don't worry, scrote. There are plenty of 'tards out there living really kick-ass lives. My first wife was 'tarded. She's a pilot now.
Frito: [Acting as Joe's public defender] It says here you robbed a hospital. Why'd you do that?::Pvt. Joe Bowers: I'm not guilty!::Frito: That's not what the other lawyer said.
Smile tho' your heart is aching,
Smile even tho' it's breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by,
If you smile
thro' your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shin-ing thro' for you
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide ev-'ry trace of sadness,
Al -'tho a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time,
You must keep on trying,
Smile, what's the use of crying,
You'll find that life is still worth-while,
Swing Little Girl,
Swing, high, to the sky,
And don’t ever look at the ground,
If you’re looking for rainbows,
Look up, to the sky,
You’ll never find Rainbows,
If you’re looking down,
Life maybe be dreary,
But never the same,
Some day(s), it’s sunshine
Some day(s), it’s rain,
Swing Little Girl,
Swing high, to the sky,
And don’t ever look to the ground,
If you’re looking for rainbows,
Look up to the sky,
Why is my heart so light,
Why are the stars so bright,
Why is the sky so blue,
Since the hour I met you,
Flowers are smiling bright
Smiling for our delight,
Smiling so tenderly,
For the world, you and me,
I know why the world is smiling,
Smiling so tenderly,
It hears the same old story,
Through all eternity
Love, this is my song,
Here is a song, a serenade to you,
The world cannot be wrong,
If in this world there is you
I care not what the world may say,
Without your love there is no day,
So, love, this is my song
Here is a song, a serenade to you
I’ll be loving you,
Eternally
With a love that’s true
Eternally,
From the start within my heart it seems I’ve always known
The sun would shine when you were mine and mine alone.
I’ll be loving you,
Eternally
There’ll be no-one new, my dear, for me.
Though the sky should fall remember I shall always be
Forever true and loving you
I’m tried of the city,
Of smoke stack and steel,
I’m tried of the grind,
Of the factory wheel,
I’m spreading my wings,
And I’m ready to fly,
To the land of the wide open sky,
I’m bound for Texas,
Bound for Texas,
Bound for Texas land.
To hear the moo and rattle,
Of snakes and cattle,
I’m bound for Texas land,
I’ll work on a ranch,
Where there’s plenty of sun,
With my horse and my saddle,
My rope and gun,
I’ll ride on the prairie,
My face to (the) sky,
And the rest of the world can go by,
I’m bound for Texas,
Bound for Texas,
Bound for Texas land.
To hear the moo and rattle,
Of snakes and cattle,
I’m bound for Texas land,
(top of next column)
I’ll save up my money,
And look for a wife,
A wife who be true,
And a pal for life,
I’ll build her a home,
And a room for a child,
With the roses, around growing wild,
I’m bound for Texas,
Bound for Texas,
Bound for Texas land.
To hear the moo and rattle,
Of snakes and cattle,
I’m bound for Texas land,
I’m bound for Texas,
Bound for Texas,
Bound for Texas land.
To hear the moo and rattle,
Of snakes and cattle,
I’m bound for Texas land,
I’ll sing her a song,
At the end of the day,
A song that will drive all our cares away,
I’ll sing out (in) the prairie,
The blue starry skies,
And the stars shining bright in her eyes,
I’m bound for Texas,
Bound for Texas,
Bound for Texas land.
To hear the moo and rattle,
Of snakes and cattle,
To get a little action,
I’d even be a pill,
So when I cease to be,
I want to go back I want to go back,
I want to go back to the sea,
Oh, for the life of a sardine,
That is the life for me,
Cavorting and spawning every morning,
Under the deep blue sea,
To have no fear of a fisherman’s net,
Oh what fun to be gay and all wet,
Oh for the life under the sea,