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Goofy Internet Rumor Alert: Halloween Falls on Friday the 13th This Year

By on September 4, 2015 in Mystery 0

The repository of all that is brain-numbing — Facebook — is rife with one of the weirdest and dumbest rumors I have heard in many a moon. Halloween will fall on Friday the 13th for the first time in, yes, you guessed it, 666 years because Spookiness. And it’s not the first time that this brainfart of a prank has made the social media rounds.

Trigger Warning: Migraine Inducing Stupidity

Trigger Warning: Migraine Inducing Stupidity

Snopes unspools this nonsense:

Although we’re ordinarily loath to trample the life out of simple jokes by dissecting the basis of their humor, the number of “Is this true?” inquiries we’ve received about this particular item compels us to address it.

For those who are pondering whether it’s really been 666 years since Halloween last fell on a Friday the 13th, we would point out that themid-autumnal celebration we know as Halloween does not date back nearly that far (i.e., to the year 1348 or earlier).

… Read the rest
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Male insect roars like a lion while walking on leaf

By on September 2, 2015 in Mystery, Science/Technology 0

“Two types of mirid bug engage in roaring duels, possibly to establish dominance or attract females, but how they make the noise is unknown.”

via New Scientist:

They are rather diminutive to be kings of the jungle, but two species of mirid bug make sounds similar to the roars of big cats. These calls have never before been heard in insects, and we’re not sure why, or how, the insects produce the eerie calls.

The roars are too weak to be heard by humans without a bit of help. But Valerio Mazzoni of the Edmund Mach Foundation in Italy and his team made them audible by amplifying them using a device called a laser vibrometer. The device detects the minute vibrations that the bugs produce on the leaves on which they live.

“When you listen to these sounds through headphones you’d think you were next to a tiger or lion,” Mazzoni.

… Read the rest
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Tin Foil Hats

By on August 31, 2015 in Entertainment, Op-Ed, Satire 0

Tin Foil

High noon:
I’m coming up on a red at 7th, heading west on Market. The Tenderloin.

There’s an empty Yellow just ahead of me at the light and an historic F line street car just letting off on the platform to our left. As the passengers pour out onto the island dividing the two westbound lanes here, I note one dude  – a bit frantic – check out Yellow, and then come running back to me. Dunno why dude would be getting off a train and then immediately try to hail a cab, or why he didn’t go for the empty Yellow in front, but I wave him in…

Although a bit edgy, a skinny 30-ish Pryor is wearing a clean white T nicely tucked-in that complements his chocolate skin, stylish jeans, and a large diamond earring in his left ear – presumably fake, he seems like he may be rational.… Read the rest

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How to Convince People That You’re Jesus in 5 Easy Steps

By on August 25, 2015 in Mystery, Religion, Satire 0
"Turin shroud positive and negative displaying original color information 708 x 465 pixels 94 KB" by Dianelos Georgoudis - Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Commons.

“Turin shroud positive and negative displaying original color information” by Dianelos Georgoudis – Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Commons.

So you want people to believe that you’re Jesus Christ. Or, if you don’t want to be tied down to anything so specific as Jesus, then you at least want people to think you are the physical embodiment of God on earth.

Who wouldn’t want this? The list of benefits is as long as my arm. First off, if you’re a man (and generally speaking, it mostly seems to be men who reach for this dream), then you get to have sex with all the women in the congregation. Which if you think about it, is an incredible privilege for the women. I mean, you’re having sex with some gullible, emotionally fractured woman. That woman, on the other hand, is having SEX WITH GOD. Where to even begin?… Read the rest

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A Transcendental Ride

By on August 24, 2015 in Entertainment, Literature/Poetry, Mystery, Op-Ed, Philosophy, Satire 0

eye

It was a dark and stormy, clear summer’s day around high noon, as I rolled through the Elysian Fields that is the Mission District of San Francisco, when,

“Cha-ching! – 186 Liberty. Quigley. Dispatch.”

I ‘Accept’.

And I zoom across 20th Street, passing that majestic view of the city over Dolores Park, before turning a quick right onto Dolores proper, and then an immediate left up high on Liberty. As I pull up to 186, I witness what I believe to be my “Quigley” wrestling out in front of a florally manicured Victorian with several large Hefty bags.

I veer to a stop and yell out of my taxi’s shotgun window to the middle-aged woman all caked in layers of vibrant make-up and adorned with large ornate brass earrings that dangle down over her flowing, paisley-patterned robes. She’s huffing up a storm and wincing with each limping tug at her bags, as multiple necklaces of various lengths of colorful concentric rings of turquoise, crystal and earth-toned wood beads repeatedly flop against them, failing in their collective work to hold down the fort that is my potential passenger’s more than ample chest.

… Read the rest
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the nAiL

By on August 17, 2015 in Corporate Skeptics, Op-Ed 0

There’s a nail in the wall.
Well, no. Actually, it’s in a beam.
Across the alley on my neighbor’s roof.

I always liked that nail.
Sticks out about three inches.
It’s just so straight. So carefully hammered. With Love.

Sometimes, you can see its shadow on the beam, as the sun creeps across the sky over our roofs.
A jealous sundial.

Except, it’s not jealous.
It’s a nail.

—

www.AlexSacK.com

Check out Alex’s book San Francisco TAXI: A 1st Week in the ZEN Life…
And Follow me on Facebook and Twitter for your non-practicing Buddhist one-offs. 

… Read the rest

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The Indigestible Fleshy Sculptures of Cao Hui

By on August 12, 2015 in Art 0

I’m a big fan of grotesque art and I suspect that many of you Disinfonauts out there in interwebsland are as well.

“When you can assume that your audience holds the same beliefs you do, you can relax and use more normal means of talking to it; when you have to assume that it does not, then you have to make your vision apparent by shock — to the hard of hearing you shout, and for the almost-blind you draw large and startling figures.” ― Flannery O’Connor, Wise Blood

Six of one, half a dozen of the other…

‘visual temperature — sofa no.2′ (image courtesy of lin & lin gallery)

‘visual temperature — sofa no.2′
(image courtesy of lin & lin gallery)

Chinese artist Cao Hui has created a horrifying vision of a world gone meat in fibre and resin that scratches that itch as it were over at DesignBoom.com:

the work of cao hui could be considered indigestible for some viewers.

… Read the rest
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TAXI Driver 2: San Francisco (VIDEO)

By on August 10, 2015 in Entertainment, Op-Ed 0

We take a break from our regularly-scheduled ride to bring you Taxi Driver 2: San Francisco
With cool narration and music by Alex SacK…

* Visit Paris
* See Christian
* Don’t get shot in bed

Sit back, relax & enjoy the ride!

I know a shortcut…

Tuesday

3:45am:
“I know that I know, and that I don’t know.”

My Ram Dass alarm-tone wakes me early. I’m on the schedule today, but with no assigned medallion. So, I call-in to Citizen’s to let ‘em know to hold a cab.

But Barn-the-Stoner’s working the office and my alarm-tone has proven all too apt.  At the lot, Barney looks at me and bloodshot-eyes go wide as he turns to stare blankly at the peg-board of keys and medallions, then drawls,

“Uhh. Shit… I for-got yu were co-ming.”

 

4:25am:
I’m out in the lot sterilizing an Escape spare Barn dug up when I get a dispatch to the bowels of the Mission.… Read the rest

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