celebrate with jeremy
i learn with delight from indymedia, that poster boy for the posh boorish twat association of britain, mr. jeremy clarkson, is soon to receive an honorary degree from oxford brookes. read the article for details of how to join the celebratory party. the article also lists some choice quotes from the great man himself which i'd love to share with you:
clarkson, doctor of bicycle appreciation:
In the wake of the London bombs we're told that many commuters are now switching to bicycles… can I offer five handy hints to those setting out on a bike for the first time. Do not cruise through red lights. Because if I'm coming the other way, I will run you down, for fun. Do not pull up at junctions in front of a line of traffic. Because if I'm behind you, I will set off at normal speed and you will be crushed under my wheels…. Do not, ever, swear at or curse people in cars or trucks. You are a guest on roads that are paid for by motorists so if we cut you up, shut up.
clarkson, doctor of climate change science:
Cars are a symbol of our release, our freedom, so enjoy them. Stop twittering on about the damage they do to the environment
clarkson, doctor of social policy:
So, they’re lowering the age of consent for homosexuals to four, teachers will be allowed to promote sodomy in schools and the Army is to become a hotbed of single-sex fumbling. I therefore find myself wondering. How long will it be before we get "Gay Lanes" on the motorway?
clarkson, doctor of politics and animal welfare:
I read that the Tories are rejecting bright, well-educated candidates for being ‘too posh’. They've had a gay summit to make sure they're seen as ‘inclusive’ and leader Michael Howard is keen to open the door to as many ethnic minorities as possible. Why? We're talking about running the country here, not some two-bit outreach group for partially-clubbed seals
clarkson, doctor of eugenics:
Cars sit in the Japanese psyche along with spoons and mashed potato. They don’t come naturally, ... I reckon the genetic North Pole is a 6ft 5in Brit and the genetic South Pole an 11-year-old Japanese schoolgirl
so congrats to jeremy. and if anyone has the blueprints for a monster bike capable of permanently squishing his bouffoned hair down into his cowboy boots, i will pay good money for its rental. go on, i'll slip you an honorary degree into the bargain.
clarkson, doctor of bicycle appreciation:
In the wake of the London bombs we're told that many commuters are now switching to bicycles… can I offer five handy hints to those setting out on a bike for the first time. Do not cruise through red lights. Because if I'm coming the other way, I will run you down, for fun. Do not pull up at junctions in front of a line of traffic. Because if I'm behind you, I will set off at normal speed and you will be crushed under my wheels…. Do not, ever, swear at or curse people in cars or trucks. You are a guest on roads that are paid for by motorists so if we cut you up, shut up.
clarkson, doctor of climate change science:
Cars are a symbol of our release, our freedom, so enjoy them. Stop twittering on about the damage they do to the environment
clarkson, doctor of social policy:
So, they’re lowering the age of consent for homosexuals to four, teachers will be allowed to promote sodomy in schools and the Army is to become a hotbed of single-sex fumbling. I therefore find myself wondering. How long will it be before we get "Gay Lanes" on the motorway?
clarkson, doctor of politics and animal welfare:
I read that the Tories are rejecting bright, well-educated candidates for being ‘too posh’. They've had a gay summit to make sure they're seen as ‘inclusive’ and leader Michael Howard is keen to open the door to as many ethnic minorities as possible. Why? We're talking about running the country here, not some two-bit outreach group for partially-clubbed seals
clarkson, doctor of eugenics:
Cars sit in the Japanese psyche along with spoons and mashed potato. They don’t come naturally, ... I reckon the genetic North Pole is a 6ft 5in Brit and the genetic South Pole an 11-year-old Japanese schoolgirl
so congrats to jeremy. and if anyone has the blueprints for a monster bike capable of permanently squishing his bouffoned hair down into his cowboy boots, i will pay good money for its rental. go on, i'll slip you an honorary degree into the bargain.
posted by DanR at 11:58 AM
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