Right Wing Nut House/Sadly, No! Solidarity
I don’t often agree with Rick Moran, author of the conservative blog Right Wing Nut House. Nevertheless, I am obligated in my duties as a Moonbat Jedi Knight to defend all semi-rational beings from attacks by Darth Dobson’s Wingnut Stormtroopers. And today Rick had the good sense to tick off the unwashed fundie masses (via Pharyngula):
This is not to say that the President shouldn?t have the right to name whomever he damn well pleases to any position he sees fit. It?s just that this appointment of Paul Bonicelli to be Deputy Director of the United States Agency for International Development (USAID), which is in charge of all programs to promote democracy and good governance overseas is a true and total embarrassment:
Bonicelli is dean of academic affairs at Patrick Henry College (PHC) in Purcellville, Virginia, whose motto is: ?For Christ and Liberty?. This ultra-fundamentalist institution requires its students and faculty to sign a ?statement of faith? declaring that they believe ?Jesus Christ, born of a virgin, is God come in the flesh?, ?Jesus Christ literally rose bodily from the dead?, and Hell is a place where ?all who die outside of Christ shall be confined in conscious torment for eternity?.
That?s not all. Patrick Henry College also requires its ?science? professors to sign a statement saying they believe in the literal interpretation of the Bible that says the world was created in 6 days… I am at a total loss. Anyone who can say with a straight face that the theory of the world being created in 6 24-hour days is ?the best fit to observed data? is not only crazy but a living, walking insult to rational thought.
Welcome to the Order of the Shrill, Rick.
As you no doubt recall, we lovingly profiled Patrick Henry College in a classic post called “Satan’s School for Right-Wing Christians!” Here were some of the highlights:
-”Recently a Loudoun County judge ordered former Patrick Henry College (PHC) employee Jeremy Hunley to stop disparaging the school over its statement of faith affirming that salvation is by faith in Christ alone. Hunley, a member of the Church of Christ denomination, was let go by the school after he began promoting the idea that baptism is necessary for salvation.”
-”In the five years since the school was founded, Patrick Henry’s student body has grown to 300. The average SAT score of its freshmen has risen, last year to 1,307. Graduates have gone on to plum jobs on Capitol Hill and in the White House.”
-”During class hours, the college enforces a ‘business casual’ dress code designed to prepare the students for office life?especially for offices in Washington, D.C., fifty miles to the east, where almost all the students have internships, with Republican politicians or in conservative think tanks.”
-”Patrick Henry?s president, Michael Farris, is a lawyer and minister who has worked for Christian causes for decades. [...] Farris’s manifesto for the school, “The Joshua Generation,” embraces the Rove principle: the “Moses generation,” he wrote, had “left Egypt,” and now it was time for their children to ‘take the land.”‘
-”[W]hen students enroll at Patrick Henry, they sign a ten-part statement of faith, agreeing that, among other things, Hell is a place where “all who die outside of Christ shall be confined in conscious torment for eternity.” The curriculum for the first two years follows a “Christian Classical” model- basically, Western Civ from a Biblical perspective. Students read Plato, Aristotle, Virgil, Locke, Shakespeare, Milton, Tolstoy, Dostoyevsky, Beckett. They also study Euclidean geometry and biology; the school uses a standard science textbook, but the professor, Jennifer Gruenke, who also has a Ph.D. from the University of Virginia, tells students that the earth was created in a week.’”
So to sum up: Bush decided to take a fundamentalist Christian kook who ran academic affairs at a wingnut college and give him a plum job at USAID, the government agency that “provides economic, development and humanitarian assistance around the world in support of the foreign policy goals of the United States.” Rick Moran, a staunchly conservative blogger, calls the nomination “foolish.” And immediately, the wingnuts pounce:
reframer Says:
November 28th, 2005 at 10:43 pmInteresting that you would espouse a kind of tolerance and broadmindedness and then take such a narrow view yourself. You seen to indicate that the doctrinal view of an educational institution will, of necessity, have an particular effect on the thinking of anyone associated with that institution. You might consider that the doctrinal snips that you quoted likely describe the the doctrinal statements of universities attended by the authors of the Declaration and the Constitution. Somehow they seem to have transcended the kind of narrow thinking you fear. You might even consider that the larger worldview described by those doctrinal statements gave rise to the very rights, liberties, and protections we appreciate in this country.
In other words, the United States was founded on the proclamation that all men are created equal and that the world was created in six days. Learn something new every day.
David Kjos Says:
November 29th, 2005 at 11:45 am
You are saying that:anyone who believes the Bible is unfit to be an educator
and
Aayone who believes the Bible is unfit to represent America.
Is that correct?
No, just the ones who are off their fucking nuts. And yes, I consider anybody who thinks the Earth is 6,000 years old to be off his fucking nut. And if that makes me bigoted against fundamentalist crackpots, so be it.
Chris Says:
November 29th, 2005 at 6:32 pmI fail to see how being commited to this God and these principles makes one unfit for office or to represent the United States. If pious Muslims believe in jinns, are they also unfit to represent their countries?
If they’re a bunch of crazy jihadis like they are in Iran, then yes.
kat-missouri Says:
November 30th, 2005 at 12:14 amI?d say you were missing the point. The point is, if the guy believes in leprachauns, St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland or that Genesis is the literal history of the creation of earth, what?s that got to do with his ability to count, manage people and make appropriate business and administrative decisions?
“Believes in leprechauns?” Where have we heard that before?
“Nooooo! They’re coming to guh-guh-get me!!!”
“Laddie! Ye’ll never escape!!!”
Ooooh yeah, that’s where. So to answer your question, kat, the answer is “no, Michael Gaynor is not qualified to represent the United States.”
Aren’t leprechauns older than 6,000 years?
I don’t know why I’m baffled that these people can’t see the bible for what it is: a book of flowery prose and poetry containing allegory, metaphor and lots and lots of sex and violence.
Now where did I put my smitin’ gloves?
I was so saddened one day a few months ago when I went to visit the family. My brother, a geologist, said something about rock layers being 100 million years old, and my mom just shook her head and said she didn’t believe anything was that old. Or older than 6000 years.
I wanted to cry.
When will Christians realize that science and the Bible aren’t mutually exclusive… as long as you don’t take the latter literally?
Besides, there are *two* creation myths in Genesis, which none of the fundies ever seems to mention. Harumph.
I’ve said my piece at that site, i’ll probably be reamed out for appearing too bigoted against the crazy for christ crowd.
I’m just so tired of them playing the victim when they allready have undue influence in every sphere of government.
They can’t be for real — they’re letting a woman be a professor.
Eeeewwww!! So, God is into bareback sex, then? :::shudder:::
I forget who also mentioned it, but is becoming glaringly obvious why Bush makes the appointments he does; this little group of fundies and cronies are the only people he knows! Some circle of friends, eh? Now he is really reaching for the bottom of the barrel, as anyone remotely qualified flees Washington for the private sector to avoid being tarred with the same brush as the other unlucky fools who have screwed up after actually being put in charge of something. I suppose it’s a good sign the this administration is now Kryptonite even for Republicans, with only the most delusional among them sticking to the party line. Unfortunately, that means that from now until Bush is either impeached (please!) or leaves office, the tinfoil hat crowd is the talent pool he now has to work with. If it were not so pathetic it would be almost fun to watch. I could eat me a great big old plate of schadenfreude right about now.
“You might even consider that the larger worldview described by those doctrinal statements gave rise to the very rights, liberties, and protections we appreciate in this country.”
The view that non-Christians deserve to be tormented for eternity?
While I won’t argue that that view has shaped our country to a large degree, I have to take issue with the idea that that has anything whatsoever to do with our rights and freedoms. If anything, it suggests that the first amendment is strongly misguided.
After all, the only consequence it will have is to allow more people to embrace blasphemy, landing them in hell.
Incidentally, what about the motherfucking Native Americans? Millions of them died without Christ because god fucking forgot to tell them.
In fact, the woman who thinks nothing is older then 6,000 years pisses me the fuck off. The Mayans believed that the zero date (Presumably the beginning of everything) was several quintillion years in the past. What the fuck makes her think they were wrong?
The fact that you can live in this country and completely ignore its history irritates me to no end.
Oh, and I wonder why a person who thinks that the members of most Asian and middle eastern nations are going to hell would be a bad choice for handing out aid to foreign nations?
Here are two points to ponder.
First, maybe all you have to do to forever send us Christians running for cover, never to return and foul up your perfect society with our ?crazy? doctrine is to show real proof that even one small part of what we believe is false.
Second, better men than you have tried. Wake up!
I know the satire is in government officials who believe in a world that is 6000 years old, but I am sure there are plenty of people in the State Department who wear magical underwear and think God speaks to them everyday.
Isn’t it more alarming that Bush picked an administrator from a tiny, wacko school (these places are notorious for hosting incompetents who hold the party line) for an important post?
First, maybe all you have to do to forever send us Christians running for cover, never to return and foul up your perfect society with our ?crazy? doctrine is to show real proof that even one small part of what we believe is false.
Watchman- this is parody, right? You don’t really believe the world is only 6,000 years old, do you?
Watchman, tell you what — you devise a way for anybody to prove that Jesus Christ was not God come to earth in the flesh, and I will use my best efforts to conduct the experiment and provide the proof. But generally, as the one making the assertion, it’s incumbent on you to prove your contention, not on the rest of the world to disprove it.
And you of course miss the point. I have no objection to Christians believing whatever they want to believe. I do have an objection to those beliefs being used to drive policy in this country (or any other), just as I would object to being place under Sharia law in a Muslim theocracy; and to those beliefs — particularly the more out-there aspects, such as Young Earth Creationism, being espoused by my government’s representatives to the rest of the world. If you can assure me that Paul Bonicelli’s beliefs will not influence his actions as Deupty Director of USAID… but of course, you can’t, because religious people of a certain stripe — and those who are affiliated with Patrick Henry College are definitely of that stripe — see themselves as being on a mission from God to spread their view of the One Truth to everyone.
“Students read Plato, Aristotle, Virgil, Locke, Shakespeare, Milton, Tolstoy, Dostoyevsky, Beckett.”
HOLY JEEBUS! They’re exposing those poor children to the horrors of pagan/devil worshipper’s ideas…
“Here are two points to ponder.
First, maybe all you have to do to forever send us Christians running for cover, never to return and foul up your perfect society with our ?crazy? doctrine is to show real proof that even one small part of what we believe is false.
Second, better men than you have tried. Wake up!” – Watchman
(Points finger at Watchman and sniggers)
You can’t prove me wrong MAAAAAAAN, I can believe whatever I want.
Kennedy was assassinated by the telletubbies I tell ya!
You guys keep giving Watchman a rough time and you’ll all wind up in H.E. double toothpicks.
HEXX?
Hey Brad- It?s the events that occurred 2,000 years ago that are important to me.
And Dan- If Bonicelli is indeed a Christian then I can assure you it will manifest as good character in his job performance.
You folks need to chill. It will be another 5 or 6 years before troops with big red crosses on their chests jump out of choppers and toss you into prison for your immoral ways.
Dear watchman,
What the fuck?
Signed,
Tim
“It will be another 5 or 6 years before troops with big red crosses on their chests jump out of choppers and toss you into prison for your immoral ways.”
Big red crosses and choppers . . . all I can think of is M*A*S*H. Come’n get me, Hot Lips!
So, Watchman, it is now your contention that all Christians are of good character?
Or does this have something to with “it all depends on what the meaning of “Christian” is?
Timmah420: You know, H.E. double toothpicks. (Hell) The devils lair, a place for people who write dirty words in public places. Watchman: So what the H.E. double toothpicks are you doing here? Come to cleanse the lepers?
You folks need to chill. It will be another 5 or 6 years before troops with big red crosses on their chests jump out of choppers and toss you into prison for your immoral ways.
Actually, the International Red Cross is generally against torture and unlawful imprisonment. Unlike, say, President Bush.
Dan- It really comes down to your idea of what “good character” is doesn’t it?
Mr.X – Sorry I guess it’s because i’m Canadian, we call it HE double hockeysticks. Seriously.
Watchman, seriously, what the hell are you talking about with the guys with red crosses? I’m genuinely curious.
No Timmah- It’s not a scene out of Revelation.It was just my humble attempt at some humor.
Hint: Crusaders.
Brad R. had the best reply. Actually the Red cross(the IRC as we call them)are a secret branch of our movement and have for years been gathering info and sizing up you heathens just waiting for the word from us to go militant on you. The word is given.
What we’re missing here boy and girls is a basic understanding of the role of Christianity in Western Society. As Christian thelogy and orthodoxy has waned, the West has flourished. The less we believe, the more we succeed. Science is just the most obvious area where putting aside fairytales for reason works to everyone’s benefit. No, I don’t want someone who believes, really believes, that the earth was created in six days anywhere near the White House. Only children and the willfully ignorent believe such things. What no one in America seems to want to say is that, yes, true Christians are not fit for service in politics. The same holds true for true Muslims, etc. Real faith in Christian principle is antithetical the modern, democratic, free-market ideals. The West is slowly letting Christianity die, these current reactionaries aside, and we’re better for it. Is that bigoted? You bet. One must be bigoted against bad, unfounded, unproven ideas.
“One must be bigoted against bad, unfounded, unproven ideas.”
Oh yeah? Prove it!
Huh. I thought that that was the Salvation Army. Fucking bell-ringing bucket carriers.
What Spence said, and more!
No Christians I know (except Christian Scientists, whose beliefs, ironically, are not very “scientific” at all) would turn down the benefits science brings in their time of need. If you need brain surgery, would you turn to a Patrick Henry College grad to pray over you, or a surgeon who graduated from Stanford? I thought so.
Modern civilized life is the result of tremendously hard work (in the fields of math, physics, engineering, medicine,geology,astronomy, the life sciences, and a host of other disciplines) by millions of people, to bring humans out of the darkness of ignorance, fear, superstition and tribalism. Oddly, religious fundamentalists do not seem to appreciate any of this, and would rather spend their energy on appeasing their imaginary friends. Just think what they could accomplish if they directed it toward reality-based solutions for the world’s problems.
Never having had a religious impulse in my life, I have no idea what they get out of it, but if they would PLEASE keep it to themselves and not inflict in on those who do not believe as they do. If you must repudiate reason, then fine, go live in a cave, but don’t come crying to me when you need some real-world help with your problems. Just one thing – you don’t REALLY think your religious leaders really BELIEVE all that shite they dish out, do you? It’s all about power, money and control. Ask Pat Robertson about his diamond mines and stashed millions sometime. Now there’s a “christian” who does not deserve a capital letter!
Over the years, I’ve become convinced that most religions are, in essence, elaborate death-denial constructs. Being the only creatures on the planet that become aware at an early age that we shall inevitably die causes, well, mental problems. Our egos are inflated enough that it seems unthinkable that one day we should cease to exist–at least our mind or spirit or what-have-you must go on. The fact that the matter from which our bodies are composed will go on and on in some form or other, just as it had existed for millions or billions of years before we were even conceived, seems a cold comfort.
Facing the black void of oblivion, the mind panics. Surely, there must be more? Other planes of existence. Reincarnation. An afterlife of some sort. Heaven, where we can reunite with loved ones who passed before us. Or even Hell, because even an eternity of torment allows one the satisfaction of knowing, “I still exist!!” Anything but the void.
So we make up fairy stories to comfort ourselves, making the lack of a shred of evidence for any of this a major pillar of support for religion. “We can’t know the mind of God,” we say when horrible things happen for no apparent reason to reasonably good people. Sure, the world seems cruel, but somehow the utter alienness of God’s motivations are supposed to comfort and are supposed to reflect omnibenevolence, even as millions starve and are maimed and die. Yes, He loved them so much, He had to kill them in gruesome ways. Lovely.
So we try and pray that hurricane away, but it never works. And some of us die. Then we look for “evil” persons to place the blame on. And there’s persecution and slaughter. But still, somehow, God doesn’t see the virtue evidenced by our murderous pogroms. And the hurricanes come again. And the floods. And the famine. And the plagues. Why haven’t we regained God’s favor? Haven’t we killed enough to sate Him? It’s never enough. And so we go on, and repeat the vile atrocities of yesteryear.
Happy Holidaze, everybody!
And, yes, that was nearly as long as a MJ’ cut-and-paste special. Sorry.
Hey flora- I’ll take the prayer and the surgeon. Being secure in my faith gives me that benefit. That’s just one thing that I “get out of it”
All- you guys seem to have it all figured out, or not! What you think really doesn’t change much of anything does it? You’re not going to change my beliefs and I don’t expect to change yours. I would however suggest that you read the Gospel of John sometime. Open minded truth seekers like yourselves shouldn’t have a problem with checking out all the possibilities. That’s the scientific way isn’t it?
Oh, come on, Watchman. The Bible is full of a lot of thing, but science isn’t one of them. As a quick for instance, how about in Genesis, where bats are referred to as being birds (!!)? Oh, I know-it’s all the direct “WORD of the LORD.” and God is incapable of making a mistake (much like Preznit Bush), so I suppose we ought to completely rework the scientific classification of all living creatures so that bats can properly be called birds! Or how about in the ‘Jonah and the Whale’ story, wherein the whale is a “fish?” Damn–more taxonomic revision! And then there’s… oh, wait, this might be a bigger project than I thought….
“things“
Timmah420: HE double hockey sticks – I like that one better. Watchman, you assume too much. Is it your contention that no one has read the gospel who doesn’t believe it? I don’t believe what I read in yesterday’s paper much less what was written by a bunch of ignoramuses with an axe to grind 2000 years ago. Lo, I come quickly, yeah, right… I’m going to hell for this, I know… You can break out the rack and thumbscrews now.