First Draft

Crack Van on Tuesday for election results, cats and kittens, starting around probably 5 or so. I have to work the early evening, but I’m pretty sure I can trust you guys to take turns driving until I get home around 7. Remember: friends don’t let friends watch Hardball unmedicated.

A.

Obama on the Daily Show:

Obama with The Important Bloggers of Our Time:

I think that there may be additional ideas that traditionally have garnered some bipartisan support that we can move forward on. But the point that you’re making I think is really important. Yes, people are concerned about debt and deficit. But the single thing people are most concerned about are jobs. And those jobs are going to come from the private sector. We’re not going to be able to fill the hole of 8 million jobs that were lost as a consequence of the economic crisis just through government spending, but we can strategically help jumpstart industries. We can make a difference on clean energy. We can make a difference on getting businesses to invest in 2011 as opposed to deferring until 2012 or ‘13 or ‘14.

And my only real question: WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN ALL THIS TIME?

I keep thinking about this election cycle and remembering the half-hour campaign commercial. Remember that thing? It was like watching a Mack truck hit Bambi, watching that thing steamroll the McCain campaign. It was like a knockout punch when the guy’s already on the ground unconscious with, like, three of four limbs missing. It was AWESOME in its unnecessary ferocity.

And since that time, it’s been like … giant black hole. We are FUCKED out here. Fucked. No jobs, no incomes, very little help. And if we’re not going to get a pony under the tree, at the very least we need a guy we like telling us why the pony isn’t there, and how we can go to a pony farm and visit other ponies and it’s going to be awesome in its own way. Instead for six months we’ve had pissy complaining from the press room pulpit that we’re all not happy enough.

As to why that is, I think Res Ipsa’sRussian friend is right on.

Actually, he is very good president. Lots of legislation to help middle class. His problem is he wants to be statesman, not politician.

He’s trying to do stuff. He’s trying to get stuff done. And he is getting stuff done. I personally think we should stop fetishizing the middle class and start helping the poor, but look. He’s not wrong when he talks about accomplishments, but people don’t come to the conclusion they like your shit because your shit’s just good. What do we talk about when we talk about newspapers here? Marketing and distribution. Marketing and distro, cats and kittens. And ain’t nobody, until this past week or so, been marketing those accomplishments to us.

Those rallies have to be CONSTANT. They can’t just be right before election night. It’s too late then. You don’t just market when you’ve got something big going on. You market all the time. There’s a reason there are Coke commericals on the air when, and I don’t think anyone would argue, plenty of people are drinking Coke and people in space are aware it exists. Because people are busy. More than that, people aretrying to keep their heads above the rising flood here. Not everyone lives jacked into the matrix like you and I do. They need it shoved in their faces, information about what’s going on.

We bitch a lot, and politicians bitch more, that the election cycle’s never over, and blah blah blah 24-hour news cycle cakes, but nobody seems to connect that that means the election cycle’s never over. Don’t just complain about it. Act like you understand it and campaign accordingly, because ain’t nobody out here sympathetic to your problems. Obama should have been doing the Daily Show every goddamn night.

A.