Bootnotes

Wanna call Barnaby Joyce a w**ker / gerbil on radio? FINE, says ACMA

How do you LOSE a complaint against Kyle Sandilands? HOW?
02 Sep 02:33

Canned laughter for Canadians selling cans of air at $15 a pop

Duo finds a tidy profit pawning off cans of atmosphere
61 Comments
01 Sep 06:00

US to stage F-35-versus-Warthog bake-off in 2018

Hipsters to take on steampunks
141 Comments
31 Aug 06:31

Google robo-car suffers brain freeze after seeing hipster cyclist

Devs try for frantic in-car fix as cyclist stands still
190 Comments
28 Aug 05:31

Vote now: Who can solve a problem like Ashley Madison?

Poll Help wanted ... too late
50 Comments
27 Aug 18:33

The most tragic thing about the Ashley Madison hack? It was really 1% actual women

Tiny percentage of ladies checked messages, it seems
82 Comments
27 Aug 01:27

Why Nobody Should Ever Search The Ashley Madison Data

Analysis Genuine advice from one who has researched this purely for work reasons
141 Comments
26 Aug 06:05

Prognosticator, for one, welcomes our new robot work colleagues

Kill all humans? Take our jobs? No, they just want to work with us
20 Comments
25 Aug 06:56

Auto erotica bonk shocker: ja das ist gut, say 56% of Germans

Get your motor moaning, head out on the highways
39 Comments
22 Aug 16:00

NASA dismisses asteroid apocalypse threat

Statement smacks of a cover-up, as Bruce Willis disappears
49 Comments
21 Aug 11:05

Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank becomes TV reality

Boxer's trailer for audacious Alan Partridge concept wows interwebs
50 Comments
20 Aug 11:03

Camera-carrying DOLPHIN SPY caught off Gaza

Claims weaponised mammal deployed to spy on Palestinian navy
44 Comments
20 Aug 03:02
Bear

Riddle solved: Do bears crap in the woods? No – they're stressing out over drones instead

Vid Hovering bots drive grizzlies to distraction
37 Comments
14 Aug 07:01

Flying Spaghetti Monster spotted off Angolan coast

All hail the monster and his tasty aquatic noodly appendages
55 Comments
14 Aug 06:04
Bill Gates. Pic: DfID

Cheers, Bill Gates. Who wouldn't want drinking water made from POO?

Turd transmutation device also makes 'leccy and ash
51 Comments
13 Aug 12:20

Stop taking drug advice from Kim Kardashian on Twitter, sighs watchdog

Baffling reality TV babe dishes out medical tips on Instagram – much to regulator's fury
76 Comments
12 Aug 07:23

Illinois man steals vibrator, strips naked, attacks Obama

Simple retail theft ends in full-blown political protest
15 Comments
12 Aug 06:00

Brassiere belays boob-bound bullet, begetting bruised breastbone

Projectile intended for boar somehow downs cycling tourist
45 Comments
11 Aug 05:59

Google's new parent Alphabet owns abc.xyz – and, yup, there's already an abc.wtf

Is this April 1?
24 Comments
11 Aug 00:00

Dead Steve Jobs' life and times are being turned into an OPERA

No. No. No. So much no for this. Just no. Nada, nyet, no
44 Comments
10 Aug 06:02

It's happened, folks: An actual exhibition about cats and the internet

And it opens today in New York
18 Comments
07 Aug 18:50

AIDS? Ebola? Nah – ELECTRO SMOG is our 'biggest problem', says Noel Edmonds

... he says via electromagnetic wave broadcast. Yes, really
115 Comments
06 Aug 05:58

Drone delivery sparks Ohio prison brawl

Geez, you would think they had never seen a heroin-dropping quadcopter before
25 Comments
04 Aug 22:57

Chechen women swindle ISIS via social media: 'We need roubles to join you xx'

Con-artist activities unlikely to temper Islamist misogyny
41 Comments
04 Aug 06:03

It's Suntory time: Japanese whisky to be distilled in SPAAAAACE

Drinks conglomerate attempts to bottle elusive mellowness in zero-g
42 Comments
03 Aug 16:31

VIAGRA found in Chinese 'Kung Fu rice wine'

It provokes the desire and makes the performance BIGGER AND HARDER
36 Comments
03 Aug 12:57

BAD things happen to GOOD robots in America: hitchBot DECAPITATED

Road ends in Philadelphia for friendly tin hitcher
47 Comments
03 Aug 07:27
lottery

Lottery chief resigns as winning combo numbers appear on screen BEFORE being drawn

Eggfaced Serbian idiot-tax man heads for the door
61 Comments
03 Aug 05:57
Emojis from Apple's beta of iOS 6

Gay emojis? GAY EMOJIS?! Not here in Russia, comrade

Bad Vlad mad over 'propaganda' pixels
33 Comments
01 Aug 08:01
The Incredible Shrinking Man

Buffoon in 999 call: 'Cat ate my bacon and I want to press charges'

West Yorkshire Police reveal their worst summer nuisance calls
99 Comments
31 Jul 05:56

Octogenarian accused of performing sex act with a SHRUBBERY

SFW Possible inspiration for character of Roger the Shrubber revealed
34 Comments
30 Jul 05:58

Bloke cuffed for blowing low-flying camera drone to bits with shotgun

Sharpshooter exercises Second Amendment rights
217 Comments
30 Jul 05:02

Sysadmin Day 2015: Fun things to do – and prizes to win from El Reg

Sysadmin Blog Where the beer, food and gifts are on offer around the world and how to enter
29 Jul 17:01
heart.france

Thought YOU'd had rude service in France? Ce n'était RIEN, M'sieu Pantalons Malodorants

Shoppers dubbed 'mad' 'bitch' etc by guys technologique

Hole in (Number) Two: MYSTERY golf-course pooper strikes again

Grand Slam! He's dropped a floater with a lot of follow-through
59 Comments
28 Jul 05:57

US beats Iran as Japan's tincan footie team wins robot World Cup

England team's early exit suggests tactical naivety will continue after robo-apocalypse
24 Jul 06:02

Happy birthday, Amiga: The 'other' home computer turns 30

Commodore successor won over gamers, graphic artists alike
108 Comments
24 Jul 00:59
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