Eldrick Tont "Tiger" Woods (born December 30, 1975) is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time. Formerly the World No. 1, he is the highest-paid professional athlete in the world, having earned an estimated US$90.5 million from winnings and endorsements in 2010.
Woods turned professional in 1996, and by April 1997 he had already won his first major, the 1997 Masters. He first reached the number one position in the world rankings in June 1997. Through the 2000s, Woods was the dominant force in golf, spending 264 weeks from August 1999 to September 2004 and 281 weeks from June 2005 to October 2010 as world number one. From December 2009 to early April 2010, Woods took leave from professional golf to focus on his marriage after he admitted infidelity. His multiple infidelities were revealed by several different women, through many worldwide media sources. This was followed by a loss of form, and his ranking gradually fell to a low of #58 in November 2011. He snapped a career-long winless streak of 107 weeks when he captured the Chevron World Challenge in December 2011. As of April 8, 2012, he is ranked #8.
Plot
Eric, a highly-gifted golfer but radically-undisciplined college undergrad, finds his world drastically altered after losing a golf bet to a pair of sadistic plastic surgeons. Eric's bad-boy attitude lifestyle comes to a screeching halt as he loses his money, his girlfriend, his dignity and his golf swing. Eric and his best friend Tyler decide to take on the doctors, in a final golf match of "Best-Ball" to get his life back and become the man he should have been all along.
Keywords: ball, bet, black-humor, boy-with-glasses, college, college-student, female-nudity, girlfriend, golf, golf-ball
Big Risk, Big Rewards & Big Attitude!
New Rules. New Attitude.
American Pie plays golf.
It's Time To Man Up and Grab Your Sports Ballz
Plot
First day on the job publicist Mark Clock has the assignment of a lifetime; to pick up A list Brad Beau Hodges (modeled after Brad Pitt) and while avoiding paparazzi, safely escort the celebrity to his own surprise birthday party in Malibu. The mission goes sour when Brad accidentally drinks a coke containing roach repellent at a Nuclear Power Plant located in Sun Valley, Ca. Bear (modeled after Kid Rock / power plant supervisor) suggests taking Brad to the nearest supermarket and purchase a laxative as an antidote for relieving Brad from his Planet of the Apes hallucinations caused by the poisoned soda. The two elect to stop at Mark's psychiatrist before the supermarket run. Dr. Rosenblum a psychiatrist who takes control of the situation by choosing to be the designated driver; only Rosenblum has his own plans and appoints to drive to the city of Compton to aid his crack addiction. In the heat of panic, Mark is accompanied with a strange entourage including a Pimp from the ghetto. The entourage escorts the delusional Brad to his surprise birthday party in Malibu. The real heat is laid on Mark when his psychiatrist lures a young make up artist named Fancy "24""Felicity" into a bedroom for sex and drugs. The makeup artist overdoses and now Mark's bizarre crew lead by Toto "Big Fish", "House of a Thousand Corpses" are on a mission to bury Fancy in the Barstow Desert. After the burial one of the most Bizarre situations ever captured in a motion picture will go down.
Keywords: character-name-in-title, independent-film, publicist
Rule The Duke
Toto: I'm not the Hulk, Mark, I'm an angry giant man.
I got big balls
Big old balls
Big as grape fruits
Big as pumpkins
Yes sir, yes sir
And on my really good days
They swell to the size of small dogs
My balls are as big as small dogs
Well it ain't braggin' if it's true
Yes sir, yes sir
Muhammad Ali said that
Back when he was a young man
Back when he was cassius clay
Before he fought too many fights
And left his brain inside the ring
And sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
Yeah I got a friend whose goal in life
Was to one day go down on Madonna
That's all he wanted, that was all,
To one day go down on Madonna
And when my friend was 34, he got his wish in Rome one night
He got to go down on Madonna
In Rome on night in some hotel
And ever since he's been depressed
His life is shit from here on in
And all our friends just shake their heads
And say too soon, too soon, too soon
He went down on Madonna too soon
Too young, too young, too soon, too soon
And it ain't braggin if it's true
Yes sir, yes sir
No it ain't braggin' if it's true
Muhammad Ali said that
Back when he was a young man
Back when he was cassius clay
Before he fought too many fights
And left his brain inside the ring
And sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
If certain girls don't look at you
It means that they like you a lot
If other girls don't look at you, it just means they're ignoring you
How can you know
How can you know
Which is which, who's doin' what
I guess that you can ask 'em
Which one are you baby
Do you like me or are you ignoring me
Do you like me or are you ignoring me
And all you need to do that
Is one big pair of big balls
Balls as big as grapefruits
Balls as big as pumpkins
Balls as big as mine
But even though my balls are big
Sometimes I wish they were bigger
Even bigger
Big as the wheels on a tractor
Big as the golden arches
Big as the golden gate bridge
Big as the state of Kansas
Big as Mars and Jupiter
Big as the swing of Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
I got big balls
Big old balls
Big as grape fruits
Big as pumpkins
Yes sir, yes sir
and on my really good days
they swell to the size of small dogs
my balls are as big as small dogs
well it ain't braggin' if it's true
yes sir, yes sir
Muhammad Ali said that
back when he was a young man
back when he was cassius clay
before he fought too many fights
and left his brain inside the ring
and sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
Yeah I got a friend whose goal in life
was to one day go down on Madonna
that's all he wanted, that was all,
to one day go down on Madonna
and when my friend was 34, he got his wish in Rome one night
He got to go down on Madonna
In Rome on night in some hotel
and ever since he's been depressed
his life is shit from here on in
and all our friends just shake their heads
and say too soon, too soon, too soon
he went down on Madonna too soon
too young, too young, too soon, too soon
and it ain't braggin if it's true
yes sir, yes sir
no it ain't braggin' if it's true
Muhammad Ali said that
back when he was a young man
back when he was cassius clay
before he fought too many fights
and left his brain inside the ring
and sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
If certain girls don't look at you
It means that they like you a lot
If other girls don't look at you, it just means they're ignoring you
how can you know
how can you know
which is which, who's doin' what
I guess that you can ask 'em
Which one are you baby
Do you like me or are you ignoring me
Do you like me or are you ignoring me
And all you need to do that
Is one big pair of big balls
Balls as big as grapefruits
Balls as big as pumpkins
Balls as big as mine
But even though my balls are big
Sometimes I wish they were bigger
Even bigger
Big as the wheels on a tractor
Big as the golden arches
Big as the golden gate bridge
Big as the state of Kansas
Big as Mars and Jupiter
Big as the swing of Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods