The Bible (from Koine Greek τὰ βιβλία ta biblia "the books") is any one of the collections of the primary religious texts of Judaism and Christianity. There is no common version of the Bible, as the contents and the order of the individual books (Biblical canon) vary among denominations. The 24 texts of the Hebrew Bible are divided into 39 books in Christian Old Testaments, and complete Christian Bibles range from the 66 books of the Protestant canon to the 81 books of the Ethiopian Orthodox Church Bible. The Hebrew and Christian Bibles are also important to other Abrahamic religions, including Islam and the Bahá'í Faith, but those religions do not regard them as central religious texts.
The Hebrew Bible, or Tanakh, is divided into three parts: (1) the five books of the Torah ("teaching" or "law"), comprising the origins of the Israelite nation, its laws and its covenant with the God of Israel; (2) the Nevi'im ("prophets"), containing the historic account of ancient Israel and Judah focusing on conflicts between the Israelites and other nations, and conflicts among Israelites – specifically, struggles between believers in "the LORD God" and believers in foreign gods, and the criticism of unethical and unjust behavior of Israelite elites and rulers; and (3) the Ketuvim ("writings"): poetic and philosophical works such as the Psalms and the Book of Job.
George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, satirist, actor and writer/author, who won five Grammy Awards for his comedy albums.
Carlin was noted for his black humor as well as his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Carlin and his "Seven Dirty Words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a narrow 5–4 decision by the justices affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves.
The first of his fourteen stand-up comedy specials for HBO was filmed in 1977. In 1988, the 1990s and 2000s, Carlin's routines focused on socio-cultural criticism of modern American society. He often commented on contemporary political issues in the United States and satirized the excesses of American culture. His final HBO special, It's Bad for Ya, was filmed less than four months before his death.
Verse1:
Fornication masturbation celebrating satan birthday
No matter how you put it yo god calling this a sin!
And if you didn't know then you should ask somebody
It's the b. I. b. l. e. what it's in!
Believers, instructions, before, leaving, earth
But yall dying in sin now tell me is it even worth
Taking a trip to hell find-ing out that's it's real
Satan kill, lie, re-joy and it's souls that he steal
Verse2:
I be avias the rap nemesis something like a pill
Need your daily dose of god cause without you going
I'll
Nevermind other mc's but this one you gone feel
Cause um rapping for christ and I'm keeping it real
What did adam eat off the tree or was eve that ate
first
Yall need to hit the bible and figure some of these
versus
It's niggaz out here claiming they know god when
honestly don't e-ven know where to start
Verse3:
Start in yo bible cause this book contains gods words
And he trying to convert athiest in-to be-live-ers
Said athiest not avias god something I believe in
Love the sunday school lessons cause my soul he gonna
But honestly my friend grab bible book look in
And god with start to work the best
His word in you to yes process. start with the bible
BASIC INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE LEAVING EARTH (2x)(CHORUS 2x)
the basic instructions before leaving earth
life is a test may we quest the universeand through my research, i felt the joy and the hurt
the first shall be last and the last shall be first
knowledge is wisdom, this goes back when i was twelve
i love doing right but i was trapped in hellhad bad ideas, sad eyes and tears
years of fear, but yo my foes couldn't beari searched for the truces in youth
and with the church's birthbut it wasn's worth the loot, that i was paying
plus the prayingi didn't like stayingcause of bizzie-bodiesand dizzy-oddies
that the preach-ass souped up the lies
had couped up lookin at loot, butt, and thighs
durin the service, he swallowed up the poor
and after they heard this, they wallowed on the floor
buti ignored, and explored my history that was untold
and watched mysteries unfoldand dropped the jewel like soloman
but never followed mencause if you do your brain is more hollow then
space oblivia, or the abysswith no trace of trivia, left with a hiss
doesn't pay to be deaf dumb or blindfrom a slave he was kept from the mind
and from a cave he crept from behinda what he gave was a sack of the swine
when the bible, that condemned the pig
i don't mean to pull your hems or flip your wigsbut we used to wear turbins
but now were in the urbanno more wearing beniesor dress like the genie
no hokus pokus cause i focus on the facts
and put it on the track or put it through the wax
i speak on jacob it might take up some time
and too much knowledge it might break up the ryhme
i did it anyway just to wake up the mind
of those who kiss stones or prays on the carpet
those who sit at home, or sell books by the market
need to chill and get their mind revived
for years religion did nothing but dividechorus
i strolled through the books of joah the unfold
and opened bibles instead of hoping on revivals
calling on his name and screaming alleuiawhen he hardly knew yathat's how the devil fooled yasee look into my eyes breverand
that's the lies of a reverandwhy should you die to go to heaven
the earth is already in spacethe bible i embracea difficult task i had to take
i studied till my eyes were swollenand only arose when
i found out that we were the choseni deal with the truthand build what they use
and take my son as he kneels on the stoolson, life is a pool of sin
corrupted wth foolish menand women with wicked mindwho build picket signs
who legalize abortionthe evil eye extortion
i quiz some with my wisdom, before i convertedi was perverted
and knowledge was assertedthe study of wisdom, i perferred it
to understand it it gave me mental freedom
i even look caucasion, but really the tropoedom
the white image, of christ, is really ceaser or yea, and ah
the second son of pope alexanderthe six of rome, and once the picture was shown
thats how the devils tricked my domei prophesized to save a manbut no one gave a damnfrom my nation, the seed of abraham
blessed with the tongue of hebrewnow we're strung on needles
and some are pleasure evilsto study and be wise in these days of darkness
peace to my nephew marcuschorus
Verse1:
Fornication masturbation celebrating satan birthday
No matter how you put it yo god calling this a sin!
And if you didn't know then you should ask somebody
It's the b. I. b. l. e. what it's in!
Believers, instructions, before, leaving, earth
But yall dying in sin now tell me is it even worth
Taking a trip to hell find-ing out that's it's real
Satan kill, lie, re-joy and it's souls that he steal
Verse2:
I be avias the rap nemesis something like a pill
Need your daily dose of god cause without you going I'll
Nevermind other mc's but this one you gone feel
Cause um rapping for christ and I'm keeping it real
What did adam eat off the tree or was eve that ate first
Yall need to hit the bible and figure some of these versus
It's niggaz out here claiming they know god when honestly don't e-ven know where to start
Verse3:
Start in yo bible cause this book contains gods words
And he trying to convert athiest in-to be-live-ers
Said athiest not avias god something I believe in
Love the sunday school lessons cause my soul he gonna win
But honestly my friend grab bible book look in
And god with start to work the best