A Stupid Piece By An Ignorant Person

When the gaping sore caused by Hurricane Katrina and the Federal Flood was still open, the, by now, infamous article by Kristen McQueary in the Chicago Tribune would have given me severe agita:

That’s why I find myself praying for a storm. OK, a figurative storm, something that will prompt a rebirth in Chicago. I can relate, metaphorically, to the residents of New Orleans climbing onto their rooftops and begging for help and waving their arms and lurching toward rescue helicopters.

Except here, no one responds to the SOS messages painted boldly in the sky. Instead, they double down on their own man-made disaster.

The notion that New Orleans was “reborn” in a manner detached from its past is ludicrous and beneath contempt. Nothing is reborn. There’s no such thing as a blank slate. And I would not wish a Katrina scale disaster on my worst enemy, not even on a twit who tweets as Statehouse Chick.

Our recovery has been a mixed bag as opposed to the sort of success that this dim bulb at the Chicago Tribune believes it to be. If New Orleans is suddenly nirvana, she should move here and become a flack for Mayor Landrieu. She already sounds like one. Repeat after me: Nothing is reborn and there’s no such thing as a blank slate.

I used to feel compelled to rebut every bit of idiocy put out there about post-K New Orleans. I ended up with a bellyful of stupid and didn’t feel any better for going to war. It’s not worth fighting with ignoramuses who know nothing about my city or its past, present, and future. Repeat after me: Nothing is reborn and there’s no such thing as a blank slate.

In the end, Kristen McQueary is just another ignorant person who wrote a stupid piece. I’ll let others wage war on her. I, myself, am tired of my city being used as a metaphor by someone who doesn’t know her ass from a hole in the ground.

Repeat after me: Nothing is reborn and there’s no such thing as a blank slate.

In Which We Learn It Is the Wife’s Job to Stop Her Husband from Cheating

accidental affair

Part the 11,000th: 

Holy shit, ladies, what the hell is wrong with you? Why would you agree to hire a hot nanny, especially if you have a celebrity poonhound husband? I’d never let some hot dude prance around my house in his skivvies, unless I was ok with him banging my wife. Because the assumption has to be that it is happening. Unless Jen is ok with it, that has been known to happen too. But that is not the case with most women.

Yeah, LADIES. What is wrong with you? Why do you keep sticking your husband’s dick in other women? I mean, God, here you were thinking you were hiring somebody to take care of the kids while you, I dunno, worked or took a shower or whatever, and all the while you were forcing your husband to fuck someone! GROSS. Get it together, moms.

(True story time: None of the people we interviewed to take care of Kick were particularly hello-lookit-me-swimsuit-model sexy. I was, however, so fucking out of it with post-partum despair that even if they’d shown up looking like Nicole Kidman I don’t think my first thought would have been, “We can’t hire her, she’s too much of a babe and Mr. A will wind up screwing her.” Most likely I’d have thought, “Great, someone who knows about skin care, the baby will need that someday.”)

I’m not saying there are no urges, or that deliberately tempting those urges is a good thing. Of course there are urges. People are people and putting a ring on your finger doesn’t mean you don’t look at somebody and go, “Wow, you’re cute and 15 years ago you’d have been all my sort of thing …” We don’t talk about this and I think it knocks some of us flat, the first time we’re attracted to someone after we’re married or committed. Like how can this still be happening, I’m married. Yeah, you’re not blind, though.

And while I wouldn’t advocate hiring a busty redhead to babysit for your adorable toddler if busty redheads are what you’re into, you don’t get a free pass when you find someone attractive, either. Put a good-looking man next to me and have him buy me scotch and talk Babylon 5: If I make out with him, I’m still doing that which I have agreed not to do, and the level of temptation involved does not decrease my culpability. (Unless it is Harrison Ford. There is an exception for Harrison Ford in our house. For either/both of us.) This isn’t about your feelings, it’s about your actions.

It’s not anybody’s job to police yours except your own.

A.

Malaka Of The Week: Ted Nugent

ted-nugent-scream-dream-411614

It’s almost surreal that I haven’t placed the malakatude crown of thorns on a certain mouthy, has been rock star. He’s said much worse things, but his latest bit of verbal diarrhea verges on literal malakatude. And that is why Ted Nugent is malaka of the week.

I guess the Nuge was feeling lonely because he decided to weigh in on the Trump-Megyn Kelly feud:

Nugent said on the radio program Wednesday that he is a Trump fan because he believes in “bold, aggressive, unapologetic truth.”

“And I’m not a fan of Megyn Kelly, although I often turn on Fox just to look at her,” Nugent said. “Sometimes when I’m loading my magazines, I like to just look at her. And I usually sit naked on the couch dropping hot brass on my stuff.”

Sorry for searing that image on your memory. Clearly, there’s no such thing as TMI for this washed up wingnut rocker. If you take a closer look at the Scream Dream cover at the top of the post, you’ll finally understand the reason for the Nuge’s gun nuttery: he has penis envy. Not only should Malaka Ted put a sock in his mouth, he really ought to slide a sock into his loincloth. In a word: pitiful.

It’s not exactly shocking that Nugent likes Trump: they’re both fundamentally misogynist insult comedians who specialize in outrageous comments. Nugent, however, makes the Donald look like a piker. Here are a few of his greatest non-musical (not that the shit he plays is very musical) hits courtesy of the good people at Media Matters:

On Hillary Clinton: “You probably can’t use the term `toxic cunt’ in your magazine, but that’s what she is. Her very existence insults the spirit of individualism in this country. This bitch is nothing but a two-bit whore for Fidel Castro.” [Westword, 7/27/94]

On President Obama: First, in 2007, “Obama, he’s a piece of shit, and I told him to suck on my machine gun.”

During a March 2013 appearance on 9-11 truther Pete Santilli’s radio show, Nugent compared Obama to a Nazi who kills his Jewish neighbors, stating the president is like “a German in 1938 pretending to respect the Jews and then going home and putting on his brown shirt and forcing his neighbors onto a train to be burned to death.”

He’s also called POTUS “a chimpanzee” and  “a sub-human mongrel.” And this from a guy who’s on the NRA’s board of directors. Obviously, that contract doesn’t contain a sanity clause:

It continually amazes me that *any* politician is willing to share the stage with this cretinous pig. I wish I could say that Nugent forces them to do so at gunpoint, but they like the reflected glory emanating from a misogynist, racist asshole who had a few hits back in the day. I think anyone who shares the stage with Malaka Nuge should be forced at guitar point to use the cover of Love Grenade as a backdrop. It’s so disgusting that I don’t want to post it here, but I’d like to point out that it was released in 2007. The Nuge seems to be getting grosser with age.

Back to Nugent’s icky comments about Megyn Kelly. Only a wingnut gun nut would watch Fox News naked while loading his gun or his, uh, love grenade launcher. I thought the NRA was all about gun safety and shit. That’s an image undermined by Nugent dropping bullets on his tiny junk whilst fantasizing about Megyn Kelly and caterwauling Cat Scratch Fever. And that is why Ted Nugent is malaka of the week.

 

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Social Promotion

From Album 5

In what I guess qualifies as good news — on a highly relative scale — for the GOP, their sustained effort to raise Carly Fiorina up from the kiddie table if not the cellar seems to have succeeded, at least for now (Carly!). She used this newfound “credibility” to — of course — slam HRC (embedded video at the link), piling on to the nothingburger that is the email “scandal.”

I dunno: maybe Carly equates “hacked” with “abysmally incompetent management.” Neither is particularly good, though, awful as it is, hacking requires some understanding of technology. Imploding a company in the Fiorina style –then parting with a massive golden parachute — only takes the kind of hubris which somehow decides that’s the perfect stepping stone to high office. Well, maybe by GOP standards…

Pulp Fiction Thursday: Ed McBain

Evan Hunter aka Ed McBain was a man with many pen names. He was also one of the best hardboiled crime fiction writers ever. He had a way with a phrase and a title. Here are some recently re-published novels featuring two of his best titles as well as the original artwork:

McBain-1McBain-2

No. NO NO NO NO NO NO. No no no. NO God Damn It.

I will trade you six of Dick Cheney and 47 of every single other member of the Bush administration for Jimmy Fucking Carter, this is not fair: 

Washington (CNN)Former President Jimmy Carter has cancer, and it has spread to other parts of his body, he announced Wednesday.

Carter, 90, had a “small mass” removed from his liver during surgery earlier this month. At the time, he received a prognosis for a full recovery.

But he said Wednesday in a brief statement that “recent liver surgery revealed that I have cancer that now is in other parts of my body.”

And yes, I know he is 497 years old and still does more before breakfast than I do all day long, so maybe he has earned a rest but fuck you, cancer, just fuck you, why can’t you go visit someone who sucks? Why can’t you go visit someone who deserves you, and not Jimmy Carter, or friends of mine, or their goddamn kids, or people who never hurt a fly in their lives? Why can’t you visit yourself upon the bodies of all those who got fat and rich on the wars of this generation? Or at least on people who don’t spend what anyone could reasonably expect to be the waning decades of his life building houses for poor people? What the fuck kind of sick asshole are you, anyway?

This bothers me immeasurably, and it’s not like I’m unfamiliar with the fundamental doctrine of the Old Testament which is You Love Me HAHAHAHAHA How Stupid Are You, but sometimes the universe is enough of a dick to shock even me. Jimmy Carter deserves to die in his sleep, painlessly, when he is goddamn good and ready and not a minute before. And then he should lie in state for a month so America has time to fucking apologize.

Fuck you, cancer. I hope Jimmy kicks your stupid ass.

A.

 

Poll Worship & The Louisiana Silly Season

I hate articles about polls. There’s way too much poll worship in the world and when the polls are wrong, as they were in the U.K. general election, people freak out. It’s part and parcel of worshiping a false deity.

Poll worship is wreaking havoc on national politics right now with the candidate trying to be the first insult comedian elected President leading the GOP field. The polls also show a backbench Independent Senator from Vermont doing surprisingly well in the politically quirky Granite State. All you need to know about that is that New Englanders often win that primary *and* that they love insurgents: Pat Buchanan stunned Poppy Bush by getting 37% of the vote in 1992. I guess Bush should have been more honest about being a bona fide Yankee and invited everyone in New Hampshire up to Kennebunkport for a ride in his power boat. They love retail politics in that state, which is one reason the insult comedian will fade there unless he meets every single Republican voter. It’s what they expect.

The point of the previous paragraph is that we’re in the political silly season and it’s too early to put much stock in polling data from any organization or in any state. New Hampshire doesn’t vote until 2/9/16 and anything could happen including the alien invasion that occured in the fine SyFy teevee show, Defiance. That could, in turn, lead to gruff, crooked outsider Datak Tarr winning New Hampshire. I told you it was the silly season…

Meanwhile in the Gret Stet of Louisiana, we’re having an uncharacteristically boring Gubernatorial (hereinafter Goober) campaign. One of Jindal’s many unfortunate legacies is the dulling down of Louisiana politics. It’s not as bad as what he did to health care or education but his two terms have, at least temporarily, drained the life out of our politics. The current race for Governor is thus far lacking in drama, intrigue, and seasoning, to use a food metaphor.

That brings me back full circle to the post title. It shouldn’t be our silly season since election day is Saturday 10/24, but we’re busy debating a recent poll showing the lone Democrat in the race, John Bel Edwards, in first place with 30% of the vote followed by Gopers Bitter Vitter and Public Service Commissioner/former PBJ aide Scott Angelle at tied 21%. That’s right, we’re talking about a fucking poll. Sigh.

It’s a banal and sterile argument because 30-35% is more likely than not the dull Blue Dog State Rep’s ceiling. Additionally, Vitter hasn’t spent much money on the race as of yet and has nearly $10 million in his coffers. That hasn’t stopped Team Vitter from trying to discredit pollster Verne Kennedy. It’s what they do:

… the Kennedy poll showed Vitter losing support among several of his core constituencies since May. (Kennedy polled the Louisiana electorate in May, June and July.) The senator wasted no time trying to shoot the messenger.

Kyle Ruckert, campaign manager for Vitter, sent an email blast accusing Kennedy of “fantasy-land polling.” He cited several alleged instances of Kennedy’s polls being widely off the mark, including Vitter’s 2010 Senate primary against former state Supreme Court Justice Chet Traylor. Vitter won that primary with 88 percent of the GOP vote.

Ruckert’s email claims that Kennedy’s poll in that race had the two men “almost even” with Vitter leading 46-34 percent. (That’s not “almost even” — not even with a margin of error of plus or minus 4 percent — but politics is the mother of hyperbole.) “Kennedy’s poll was wrong by more than 40 points,” Ruckert wrote. At the end of his email, he concluded, “it’s silly season, and desperate candidates try desperate things.”

Kennedy, who is not polling for any gubernatorial candidate, says his two polls in Vitter’s 2010 primary election did not come close to the results cited by Ruckert’s email. Kennedy sent me a copy of an email he sent to Ruckert citing the actual results of his surveys. Far from showing Vitter’s primary contest close, Kennedy’s polls showed Vitter ahead by huge margins. In June 2009 (a year before the primary), Kennedy’s poll had Vitter leading Traylor 54-15 percent. In August 2010, Kennedy’s poll showed Vitter with an even bigger lead of 66-14 percent.

Kennedy called the Vitter camp’s response to his latest survey in the governor’s race “foolishness.”

“I asked Kyle Ruckert to share his sources, because I can’t find anything even close to what they’re saying,” Kennedy said. “I don’t expect them to send it to me.”

One would have thought that the Vitterites would blame Obama for their loss in support. It’s what Diaper Dave usually does and the blame Obama approach helped elect his lackey Double Bill Cassidy to the Senate last year. Instead, he’s blaming a respected pollster who often works for business groups. In short, it ain’t no librul conspiracy.

This whole mishigas is *another* reason I hate stories about polls. The only reason the lackluster Edwards is in the lead in Kennedy’s poll is the pollster’s custom of automatically giving any Democrat 90% of the African-American vote. He may be the leader on paper but he’s not the frontrunner: the odds are long against his prevailing in a run-off against ANY Republican.

In case you were wondering, John Bel Edwards is NOT related to former Governor Edwin and has none of Le Guv’s panache and style. He’s also more conservative than the last 2 Democrats to win major statewide office, which is conservative indeed. He’s very much a part of the Gret Stet good ole boys club, his brother is the current Sheriff of Tangiapahoa Parish as was his father before him. The father was, however, a staunch EWE ally. None of the EWE charisma rubbed off on JBE: his nickname among internet smart asses is Gomer. That’s right, Gomer for Goober. I feel another sigh coming on, y’all.

I considered apologizing for discussing polls in a post expressing dislike for articles about polls but decided not to. It would be akin to not discussing Bobby Jindal in an article about Louisiana politics. I might rather not think about how he fucked the Gret Stet over but his shadow looms heavily over the Goober race. In fact, the one good thing I can say about Gomer is that he has been very critical of the PBJ record throughout the latter’s second term. It’s not his fault that fear and loathing of a black President turned a purple state deep red. I seem to have crossed over the Bridge Of Sighs

I’m reluctant to predict the outcome of the not so great Gret Stet goober race. I’m not sure who the GOPer will be right now but I still think Vitter will rally his base of bigots, bible bangers, and assholes and make the run-off against the hapless Gomer. Whatever happens, the Blue Dog is gonna be left for roadkill in the run-off.

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Album Cover Art Wednesday: Jesus Of Cool

Jesus Of Cool was Nick Lowe’s first solo record. It was renamed Pure Pop For Now People in the U.S by the folks at Columbia Records. They remembered the ruckus in the bible belt over John Lennon’s throwaway comment that “the Beatles are more popular than Jesus.” That led to cardboard and vinyl bonfires of Beatles records in small towns in the hookworm/kudzu belt.

Jesus Of Cool is a helluva power pop/pub rock album with some of Nick’s best early songs: So It Goes, Heart Of The City, and Marie Provost. The last tune was a cheerful ditty about a woman found dead in her flat. Her dog had gnawed at her body to stay alive. Poor, poor Marie.

The cover depicts Nick in 5 pop-rock star outfits. The picture in the bottom middle is of Dave Edmunds who was Nick’s partner in musical crime and the co-leader of Rockpile. A note about Rockpile: they backed both Nick and Dave (as well as Lowe’s then wife, Carlene Carter) on records and live but only recorded one album. The quirks abound.

Here’s the cover:

nick-lowe-200

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What the TITS, America

What kind of sense does this make? 

On Monday, protesters once again took to the streets. Late at night, the right-wing armed group arrived.

St. Louis County Police Chief Jon Belmar called their presence “both unnecessary and inflammatory,” according to NBC News.

Journalists and activists at the scene posted photos of the group standing on West Florissant Avenue, the center of the recent protests in Ferguson. It is legal to open carry these types of rifles in the state of Missouri. According to state law, people who have a valid gun permit can “openly display the firearm… unless the firearm is intentionally displayed in an angry or threatening manner.”

And how the fuck are we determining angry or threatening? Most of these ‘roided up losers look pretty threatening to me, and I’m one of their fellow white people. They can carry their guns around, but as long as they smile while they’re doing it? As long as they’re white? As long as they spout Red Dawn-inspired nonsense about government tyranny? WTF does this even mean?

A.

 

 

Debate Venues

Last week’s was in a theater named for a subprime lender, so I suppose the Reagan Library is a suitable follow-up.

(Still, I don’t know if I can stand even MORE jerking off about St. Ronnie, who for all his faults would cockpunch Donald Trump and ask Scott Walker to go park his car.)

Since apparently anybody with the cash can call one of these things, I would like to start raising money next month for a First Draft debate, in which we invite the losing Democratic candidates for president who are still alive to spend three hours beating an effigy of George W. Bush like a pinata, and when money falls out they have to give it to somebody who promises to only buy steaks and abortions or drinks at a gay wedding reception.

Fruity drinks.

A.

Ron Fournier Knows What’s Best For You Sillyheads

Oh, you VOTERS, thinking you get to make your own minds up! You obviously just don’t know what’s best for you!

Look, I understand why you’re angry. We’ve got stupid leaders who can’t get anything done, who don’t care about you, who are feckless and helpless, and who’ve forgotten how to beat the rest of the world.

Trump channels your anger. He talks the way you do. He validates concerns that both major parties and the media ignore—or mock.

He’s just fooling you, you gullible, gullible children! Why can’t you see that? Why can’t you understand what I, wise Ron Fournier, understand, which is that everyone on the GOP debate stage not named Trump was clearly more serious than Trump?

NO REALLY:

I hope you heard the other candidates, especially those who are trying to show that they understand your anger and want to address it.

They want to do so in the following ways: Build a giant wall across the southern border, repeal Obamacare, let you die rather than give you an abortion, and cut taxes for their rich friends. They favor charter schools, union-busting, and Biblical tithing as an economic model on which to run a country.

Did you not hear how different from Trump they are?! How could you not hear them? They used such big words!

How stupid are you, anyway?

Did you know that Trump favors deporting 11 million illegal immigrants before returning most of them to the United States? Of this expensive, if not unworkable, idea, Trump told CNNrecently, “I would have an expedited way of getting them back into the country so they can be legal.”

That’s gold-plated amnesty. Is that really what you want?

GO TO YOUR ROOM. THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT. Ron Fournier is not letting you out of there until supper is over.

Look, I won’t raise my kid in a country where Donald Trump is president, but I won’t raise her in one where Scott Walker is president either, and let’s not pretend that they’re really all that different. Walker may be slightly more efficient at screwing people over these days, and less likely to pick a fight with TV hairdos who already hate him. That doesn’t make him better for anybody inclined towards voting Republican than Trump is. Which is to say TERRIBLE, but damn, let people go to hell the way they want to.

A.

Enough Already With The Trump-Perot Comparisons

Perot 1992.

Ross Perot: why did the chicken cross the road? To criticize Bill Clinton’s record as Arkansas Governor.

I had planned to NOT write anything this week about a certain Republican Presidential candidate who’s vying to be the first insult comedian elected Oval One. I didn’t think I could top A’s brilliant post yesterday but it *is* the silly season and I *am* a member of the silly blogger party, after all.

The thing that has been bugging me is how the fog of history has descended on the campaign coverage, leading many people to compare Trump to Ross Perot. Some, mostly GOPers, think Perot cost Poppy Bush the 1992 election by taking Republican votes from him. The evidence suggests otherwise: that year’s exit polls showed the tiny Texas tech tycoon (I nearly called him a tiny titan but thought better of it) taking 38% of his vote from both Bush and Clinton. The other 24% would have stayed at home and watched Cheers reruns.

Perot didn’t cost Bush the election even though, as a real Texan, he visibly despised the faux Texan. It seems to have been forgotten is some quarters that, while Poppy Bush is a popular former President, he was unpopular when it mattered. As I’ve said many times before, it’s good to be ex-King. Furthering this misguided narrative has been a lot of lazy MSM chatter about the chance of a third-party billionaire helping another Clinton defeat another Bush.

What really happened with third-party candidacies is frequently lost in the fog of history. Looking back, one might think that George Wallace’s 13% of the vote in 1968 came exclusively from Tricky Dick. In fact, Wallace took millions of blue collar union votes (there were lots of them then) from Hubert Humphrey. HHH’s comeback in that race was based on bringing blue collar voters back into the Democratic fold. It nearly worked but Tricky won anyway. The fact that Wallace took votes from both big parties is one reason Nixon cherry picked some liberal domestic policies in his first term. Additionally, Tricky was an opportunist who gave even less of a shit about domestic issues than Poppy Bush. But he knew how to fake it. Poppy did not.

Back to the Trump-Perot comparison. The *main* reason I object to it is that Ross Perot ran a substantive campaign as opposed to implying that his latest media foil is on the rag. Perot went old school and bought 30 minute teevee slots, pulled out charts, graphs, and other (even then) low tech techniques to show how he believed the deficit was choking the country. Deficit hawkery was big in the post-Reagan era: Paul Tsongas did quite well on the Democratic side running as one. He even won the New Hampshire primary, which was rightly discounted at the time since he was a New Englander.

Perot also took rather liberal positions on many issues:

He supported abortion rights; Trump used to be pro-choice, but is now pro-life. He promoted higher taxes, specifically on wealthy Americans, as part of his ambitious plan to reduce the deficit. He emphasized the need for more education funding; Trump emphasizes school choice. He argued against the right to own machine guns; Trump has supported some gun control in the past, but now does not. Perot also made a striking plea for stricter environmental regulation (Trump’s disdain for the environment is one of the only constants in his long public career) and proposed large cuts in defense spending (Trump proposes the opposite).

That was a contrast to Trump that works since it’s based on the facts as opposed to lazy journalism, group-think and the whole “they’re both eccentric rich dudes” meme. It’s true that Perot was eccentric but he wasn’t a shallow blowhard whose public persona was based on picking fights and pulling media stunts.

I didn’t vote for Perot, but I know Democrats who did before coming home in 1996. People also forget that Bill Clinton was viewed as a fatally flawed candidate until a successful convention and Perot’s temporary exit from the race. Viewed through the prism of the present, many see Bill Clinton as a charismatic charmer with high approval ratings. Once again, it’s good to be ex-King. One reason that Clinton was elected in 1992 was that he was a fighter who was at his best with his back to the wall. True Grit will help you every time. I think, however, Bill is more like Jeff Bridges in the Cohen Brothers version than the Duke. Bill *might* be able to pull off the Dude. Oops, I forgot about the whole “I didn’t inhale” thing.

I am resigned to the fact that we’ll have the Donald to kick around for awhile even after he broke up with Nixon tattoo wearing, veteran GOP ratfucker Roger Stone. Trump is good for the satire business but enough already with the Perot comparisons. Trump will never run as a 3rd party candidate. Why? Because he’d be a LOSER.

Donald Trump will NOT be the first insult comedian elected President.

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Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – Bloody ‘ell edition

Christ on a cracker.

First I was going to take that long-threatened sanity break, especially after I tried to pull up Freeperville the morning after the debate and got this:

default.aspx

.

Then this:

FreeperWarning.php

.

OK – after changing a few Bitdefender settings and writing a crunch program that puts Google Analytics into a Ouroborous-style loop, I finally got in – and what do I find?

Trump: Megyn Kelly had blood coming out of her ‘wherever’
The Hill ^ | August 7, 2015 | Neetzan Zimmerman

Posted on ‎8‎/‎7‎/‎2015‎ ‎10‎:‎33‎:‎15‎ ‎PM by Conscience of a Conservative

Donald Trump ratcheted up his feud with Fox News host Megyn Kelly over her role as moderator on Thursday night’s Republican debate, telling CNN’s Don Lemon he has no respect for her and thinks she’s “highly overrated.”

“What is it with you and Megyn Kelly?” Lemon asked Trump, who had spent most of the past 24 hours slamming Fox News and Kelly on social media and in TV interviews. “She gets out and starts asking me all sorts of ridiculous questions,” Trump told Lemon. “You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her — wherever.”

JawDrop

Trump also called Kelly a “lightweight” and went on to claim he wasn’t alone in his disapproval of Kelly’s debate-night demeanor, and that a source at Fox News told him they had been “inundated” with a record number of negative letters from angry viewers.

1 posted on 8‎/‎7‎/‎2015‎ ‎10‎:‎33‎:‎15‎ ‎PM by Conscience of a Conservative

He seems nice.

To: Conscience of a Conservative

What a bizarre thing to say. I guess this is just him trying to be funny?

2 posted on ‎8‎/‎7‎/‎2015‎ ‎10‎:‎37‎:‎02‎ ‎PM by ApeStyle

No – I think he’s warming up for calling the Chancellor of Germany and the Queen of England “stupid cunts” after his election.
To: Conscience of a Conservative

“Megan you ignorant slut!”

7 posted on 8‎/‎7‎/‎2015‎ ‎10‎:‎40‎:‎12‎ ‎PM by Califreak (Hope and Che’nge is killing U.S. Feel the Trump-mentum!(insert ireallysupportCruzdisclaimerhere/))

To: ApeStyle

Megyn kelly is a pole hugging half dressed objectified do anything bitch.

Trump is a succesful employer of 10s of thousands for workers – a serious man running for the Presidency of the United States.

Cut the BS.

11 posted on 8‎/‎7‎/‎2015‎ ‎10‎:‎41‎:‎39‎ ‎PM by Eddie01

To: Conscience of a Conservative

Trump is sounding insane.

17 posted on 8‎/‎7‎/‎2015‎ ‎10‎:‎47‎:‎50‎ ‎PM by GeronL (Phony Crony Trump is a Chump, Cruz is for real, 100%)

Ya think?
To: GeronL
Trump is sounding insane.

Which, as many have noted over and over and over again, is hardly surprising to anyone who has paid even the slightest bit of attention to Trump for the past 30 years…

22 posted on 8‎/‎7‎/‎2015‎ ‎10‎:‎49‎:‎16‎ ‎PM by Conscience of a Conservative
OK – we have the Trump-suckers on one side, and the Trump-busters on the other!
Who will carry home the gold in this winner-take-all throwdown??
.
We’ll find out after this word from our sponsors!

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Jon Stewart Should Have Said Both Sides Do It

No, really, that’s what our wise media betters think was his major failing: 

His claims to be objective fell flat. For instance, Mr. Stewart denied being in President Obama’s corner by re-airing a clip in which he had made fun of theObamacare website’s rollout, as if that was the same as questioning Obamacare itself. That was par for Mr. Stewart’s course, mocking liberals’ tactics and implementation but not their underlying assumptions or ideas.

He could have made the liberals in his audience more open to dialogue across the great left/right divide by asking them to examine themselves more carefully and to admit that both ideological camps contain fools. Instead, he was a cultural entrepreneur who provided those viewers with the validation they wanted.

Yes. What he should have done was trafficked in the false equivalence that has done so much good for this country in the past two decades, and continued the fiction that made everyone so comfortable with horse-race journalism in which two of the same animal fight to cross the finish line first with no difference between them but their speed.

That would have been incredibly valuable. We’ve been so short on that in American journalism.

What is Gerard Alexander’s major example of all the ways in which Jon Stewart failed his liberal audience? Why, it’s Stewart’s refusal to believe that a chief architect of Bush’s torture policy was actually walking around in a skin suit pretending to be a person.

Mr. Stewart later acknowledged that Mr. Yoo had bested him, which didn’t happen very often. In that sense, the interview was an outlier. But it wasn’t a coincidence. Mr. Stewart had gone in lazy, relying on a caricature, and seemingly unprepared for the thoughtful conservative sitting in his guest chair.

Good people often have a hard time believing bad people look just like them. Bad people count on this, and use it. I shouldn’t have to explain that to somebody who works at the NYT; their archives should be able to do that for me.

If the average man or woman could spot the villain coming a mile away, if they were all hardened enough to see the scales beneath the facade, evil would wither and die before accomplishing a single thing. Stewart knew who Yoo was and what he did, but it doesn’t speak ill of him that he was taken aback by Yoo’s approximation of humanity. America was, too.

A.

 

Donald Trump Lets the GOP & the Press Pretend Donald Trump Is the Problem

That’s actually the problem with Trump, from my perspective as someone who is making plans for an EU passport application should he win the nomination and then the election, ie, Not The Target Audience. The problem with Trump is that he lets everyone believe the problem is Trump.

  1. He lets the GOP pretend they don’t have major pundits who’ve said, about Hillary Clinton, that she is a shrill old bitch, among the nicer things. He lets the GOP pretend they don’t have major candidates who’ve said that women’s health care is a trivial concern, that it should be cut based on made-up bullshit from complete frauds.
  2. He lets the press pretend that aside from Trump, the Republican party is made up not of criminally insane psychopaths but of reasonable people who simply disagree with Democrats’ point of view and are sincere and passionate in their beliefs.
  3. He lets the press further pretend that stating one’s views strongly is more of a virtue than what those views actually are, and what consequences they have pale in comparison to the spectacle of their expression.

He lets everybody keep getting away with it, the fraud of the last 7 years, our elections are a dispassionate debate between two parties — one of which wants people to be able to read and for us to reduce the amount of preventable disease and the other of which believes the Department of Ed is enslaving our minds and universal health care will lead to death panels. He lets everybody push all this bullshit off onto him, to say Donald Trump, Donald Trump is the problem. Donald Trump is racist and sexist and stupid and that’s not what we stand for. We won’t have Donald Trump in our party!

No, but you had Jesse Helms and Strom Thurmond, welcomed them with open arms when they fled the very idea of equality under the law. You had Norm Coleman, who barely understood the Constitution he swore to uphold, and you have Louis Gohmert, who cannot find his ass with both hands and a posse. You had Todd Akin, Joe Walsh Wilson yelling “YOU LIE” in the middle of the State of the Union, and Michele For the Love of God  Bachmann. You don’t get to pretend Donald Trump is an outlier.

And you, O Political Pundits, do not get to do so either. You don’t get to write these interminable HAS DONALD TRUMP GONE TOO FAR FOR THE GOP and let other candidates denounce him as forever unclean and forget the slightly more polite and subtle versions of those same sentiments uttered by every other candidate on the stage. You don’t get to keep up the fiction that prevents your world blowing apart: That both sides do it, that no one has malice in his heart, that people really want everyone to agree on everything and if we just don’t report enough of the rough edges everything will look smooth.

Admitting Donald Trump just flat-out says what 5/6 of the GOP is thinking means admitting this is what 5/6 of the GOP is thinking, and that means we don’t have two arguments of equal weight to present to the public, which we could just get to if the clown car would clear out a little. That means we don’t have some secret stash of serious Republicans who are being drowned out by the stunts and the carny barkers.

That means this is the party, and this is what there is to deal with.

Which any dirty fucking hippie blogger could have told you a decade ago, but that was in the days when a rude T-shirt got you disinvited from the rulers’ audience. Nowadays you just go around making jokes about women’s periods and Fox has to invite you on the stage.

A.

Sunday Morning Video: MST3K- Daddy-O

Let’s continue the beatnik theme I started on Pulp Fiction Thursday:

Saturday Odds & Sods: I See Red

Veteran Ventriloquist by Fred G Johnson

Sideshow banner by Fred G. Johnson.

I had a bug for my birthday this year. That part didn’t really bug me. I wouldn’t mind not celebrating my natality again until I’m even more creaky and decrepit that I am at this stage. I’m not sure if that qualifies as a hilarious harangue but it’s all I’ve got. Donald Trump has cornered the market on hilarious harangues so perhaps I should be content with being the veteran ventriloquist. Unfortunately, my lips move…

This week’s theme song is Split Enz’s I See Red. It’s a simple tune that’s more contagious than a sick blogger or some such shit. Split Enz were the demented antipodean cousins of my hometown favorites, the Tubes. They really had that quirky theatrical thing going on as you’ll see in these two versions. First, the original promo video from 1978 featuring Tim Finn at his spazzy best. Second, a live version from the band’s 2006 reunion. Dig the crazy threads, man:

I’m not through with seeing red. I love the look of the cover of the single for I See Red. Dig the crazy big hair, man. They kinda look like chicks from Jersey:

Split Enz I See Red (Australia)

More extreme redness after the break. I promise to keep it simply red.

Continue reading

The Legend of Izzy’s

Izzy

Growing up in Milwaukee, I lived under the impression that every place on Earth had at least three taverns on every block. These shot-and-a-beer watering holes were only distinguishable from the neighborhood homes by a giant lighted sign hanging from the corner of the building, announcing proudly the proprietor’s name as well as the term “bar,” or “tap” or “tavern” or some such euphemism for “beer pumping station.”

We moved to the South Side of the city when I was 4 years old and as we wove from the streets of Cudahy through St. Francis to Bay View, I calculated distances by taverns. There was The Lazy Z, John and Connie’s, Club 300, Butch’s and more. The last outpost along the way before we reached home was Izzy’s Tap. For reasons past my understanding, I found myself desperate to go in there as a child. Each time we passed through town, I would ask my father, “Can we stop at Izzy’s?”

You have to understand that this was not an abnormal or abhorrent behavior associated with a misspent childhood. This was a part of the culture growing up when and where I did.

When my grandmother’s husband, the infamous Uncle Harry, would go for an errand or two during my frequent summer visits, we would often find ourselves stopping at some shitty local bar. John and Connie’s was one of my favorites because they had cherry soda on tap, bags of no-name-brand potato chips behind the bar and an ancient pool table. They also had roomers upstairs from the bar, one of whom was lovingly named Dude. I have no idea who this guy was or why I remember him, but occasionally, he’d amble down the stairs and enter the bar from the door between the pinball machine and men’s room to grab a mid-day beer and socialize with Harry.

Mom and Dad both played softball for numerous taverns around the area, including Dick and Debbie’s. At some point, Dick and Debbie went on the splits and it became “Dick’s Gold Mine.” They also played for some place called “The Lounge” if memory served. Once the game was over, the team went to the bar, where my folks plied me with enough quarters to keep the Space Invaders game hopping and me out of trouble.

Eventually, as I got older (read: 8 years old) they stopped playing sports for those places and decided it wasn’t a keen place to raise a kid. I stopped palling around with Harry during the summer and my trips to various liquor establishments became few and far between.

Still, Izzy’s held that magical sway over me. It is never quite clear why, although I think it was that my father refused to even consider the bar worthy of a stop, thus making it all the more important to me.

When Dad took part in a bowling league one year when I was in my teens, a guy named Dean on the team mentioned the place. Dad explained the fixation I had with the place and the guy just laughed.

“It’s a tiny shithole,” Dean said. “When you go in there, you’ll be the only person in the place. Lenny will come out of the back in his housecoat, turn on the tape machine for some music and start telling you the story about the football.

Lenny was the owner and operator and had taken over the operations from his father-in-law some time in the 1960s or 1970s, depending on who was telling the story. The tape machine was an old reel-to-reel item that apparently was playing the same music that played back in 1940 when Izzy’s opened. The football was an autographed Green Bay Packers ball with a vintage of the early 1960s.

Still, the guy explained, it was worth a beer, so he and Dad stopped for one after bowling. The experience was exactly as the guy had described.

I was more than a bit steamed that Dad went to the place without me. It wasn’t really much to talk about, Dad said. Still, it was the principle of the thing.

Eventually, I moved away from home, turned 21 and took my turn frequenting the more “college-friendly” bars around Madison. They had loud music, dance floors and drinks that incorporated about 93 types of alcohol. For the first three years of my legal drinking life, heading to a “tavern” for a “beer” wasn’t even an option.

The first year I returned to Wisconsin from Missouri for a holiday break, Dad and I decided to do some “dude stuff,” and we ended up shooting pool for several hours and several beers. On the way home, we inevitably passed Izzy’s.

“Can we stop? Please?” I practically begged.

Dad apparently either had one too many or one too few to argue, so he pulled the car over and we entered the hallowed halls of Izzy’s.

It was exactly as Dean described.

Lenny walked out of the back, turned down the lights a bit, turned on the tape machine and asked us what we wanted.

“Don’t get a tap beer,” my dad whispered, pointed at a spider web on the spigot.

We ordered two cans of beer, which Lenny retrieved from a refrigerator with the old-fashioned pull-down “slot machine” handle on it.

The cans had dust on them, which we surreptitiously wiped off and then opened.

Lenny then launched into his tale about how he got the football.

All those years to enter a place about the size of the average living room with three tables and about a dozen stools at the bar… Totally worth it.

In the intervening years, the place was open intermittently as Lenny’s health began to fail. When we moved back to Wisconsin seven or eight years ago, I remember thinking about Lenny and the place when we would drive past it on the way to Mom and Dad’s.

“Lenny’s sick,” Dad said when I asked him about the seemingly vacant building. “I last saw him a couple years back and he’s using a walker.”

The building seemed to remain in limbo for a few years. The giant Blatz sign remained outside, the Andeker neon sat in the window, but no other sign of life ever really emerged.

About six months ago, we drove past around 5 on a Friday and saw the “OPEN” sign brightly glowing.

I would have begged to go, but we were on the way to dinner and some other event. By the time we drove back, the place was dark. I often wondered if it was an illusion.

Last week, my Mom left for one of her “bucket list” trips that took her through Russia, thus leaving my Dad home alone for a week.

“Please check in on him,” Mom whispered as she hugged me prior to heading out for 10 days.

So, Dad came up for a ballgame last week and I came down today to prepare for our monthly card show.

In between stacking tubs and building sets, we took a jaunt out for dinner. As we drove past Izzy’s, the sign was alit again.

“If that’s open on the way home,” I told him, “we’re stopping for a beer.”

Sure enough, at 8 p.m., the Blatz sign was dark, but the neon “OPEN” sign cut through the night sky as Dad pulled over.

The first stunning thing was that the place was packed. We barely found two seats at the end of the bar. Apparently the after work crowd was making a go of it at the corner tap.

Second, the old refrigerator was gone, replaced with a modern cooler, the sign atop it proudly noted “Izzy’s Tap.”

“If they sold the place to someone outside the family, they probably had to update the hell out of this place,” Dad explained.

The barkeep took our order, two tap beers, which seemed a safe bet in this more active environment. I placed a $20 on the bar for both beers and was presented with $17 in change for two huge schooners of Miller Lite.

“Do you own the place?” I asked the guy.
“No. The guy at the end of the bar does. Why?”

“We knew Lenny,” I explained. “Is he still around?”

“Oh… No… He died four years ago, going on five.”

Turns out the guy at the end of the bar was Bill, Lenny’s nephew. As he gladhanded his way down the bar, he ran into us and we explained who we were and what Izzy’s meant to us.

Bill went behind the bar and retrieved a manila folder, filled with photos and cards. One was an official invitation to the grand opening of Izzy’s tap, mailed to the important people around the city, dated 1940. Photos of Lenny and Packers star Ray Nitschke were in there as were photos of softball and horseshoe teams. Dean was among those featured, along with several other guys my dad knew.

Bill told stories about Lenny and Izzy’s and all sorts of stuff.

I mentioned the football.

“It’s still here,” Bill said, pointed to a glass case near the base of the back bar.

He then excused himself to chat with a few other people.

“You done?” Dad asked, draining his glass.

“Yep.” I picked up the 10 and the 5, leaving two bucks behind.

“Just leave a dollar,” Dad whispered.

I ignored him and walked away from the bar as all of our new-found friends wished us well.

“That was an 80 percent tip on two beers,” Dad pressed as we walked to the car.

I wasn’t about to argue with him about his math or the cash value of the excursion.

Some things are just worth it.

Friday Catblogging: Della Rhymes With Umbrella

Della Street’s latest obsession is Dr. A’s flowery umbrella:

IMG_4078IMG_4077

Crack Van Highlights

Well, that was a hugely entertaining shitshow from which Walker, Bush, Cruz and Rubio gained nothing and Trump emerged unscathed mostly because would he even notice if anybody landed a punch? I think he might have been really loaded the whole time.

You all were on fire, though:

 v4v: we should totes let people save their own money for retirement, because that worked so great  in the 20s

 montag47: Ex[laining taxes to Huckabee is like explaining quantum theory to a cow.

 danps: “christie, how did you like the taste of my yooge balls?”

 M31: Back from ferret sitting.  Anyone say anything  mind-bogglingly stupid?
 Lex: M31: Everyone but Kasich.

danps: Fiorina would have laid off the Iranian negotiating team
MDukes: Fiorina would have purchsed Iran’s nuclear tech for 655 gajillion dollars, then proceed to fuck it up and try to use it in an inkjet printer

 genegaudette: Athenae: “Mr. Trump, who would you Not allow to suckle the plums of prosperity?”

Soprano: Walker needs to try to talk in sentences.

 Garbo: People with Reagan in the drinking game going into coma

 Lex: Trump: I’ve completely forgotten anything I ever learned about WWII.

 The Kenosha Kid: If you had to gay-marry one person on this stage….

bill: Which one is least likely to secretly be Batman?

spocko: Trump: Only stupid people pay taxes.

 Roadmaster: Trump – I am Master Of Christie’s Domain

A.

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