Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995)

Actors

• Steve Oedekerk (director)
• Steve Oedekerk (writer)
• Bruce Spence (actor)
• Robert Folk (composer)
• Sophie Okonedo (actress)
• Jim Carrey (actor)
• Gary Barber (producer)
• Bob Gunton (actor)
• James G. Robinson (producer)
• Patrick Michael Strange (actor)
• Tommy Davidson (actor)
• Ian McNeice (actor)
• Simon Callow (actor)
• Eduardo Ricketts Jr. (miscellaneous crew)
• Larry Donahue (miscellaneous crew)

Genres

• Comedy

Taglines:

Most people wouldn't last one minute in the real wild nature. Ace Ventura, not even a second.
New Animals. New Adventures. Same Hair
The great plains of Africa, the cradle of civilization. A place where there exists a balance between nature and man. So ancient, so sacred, no man would dare to disturb it. No man but Ace Ventura.

Quotes:

Ace: Meeting with sinister types much? A not too much, a much too much.

Ace: [Impersonates William Shatner] There's someone on the wing! Some... THING! I'm sorry, what were you saying?

Ace: You're an extreme workaholic. You recently returned from a short trip to Gotan in northern Africa, and upon your return you more than likely took a nasty spill because of some... shotty masonry work.::Vincent Cadby: Very impressive... might I ask, how?::Ace: Surely... The abrasion on the palm of your left hand is the type one sustains breaking a fall of 3 to 5 feet, the small reminisce of plaster on the tip of your shoe pointed to a careless mason beam, the culprit, your new watch, a quality forgery of a cartieah was most likely purchased through the north African black market known to reside in Gotan. [Ace gasps for air]::Vincent Cadby: And my work habits?::Ace: Yes, a workaholic, the urine stain on your pants would signify that you're a single shake man, far to busy for a follow up jiggle.

Airplane Stewardess: Peanut? [sounds like penis]::Ace: Yes, I have one right here. It's bulky, but I consider it carry-on.::Airplane Stewardess: Peanut.

Ace: Friends, rodents, quadrupeds, lend me your rears!::[yodels]

Ace: I'll have you know that I have the reflexes of a cat and the speed of a mongoose. Throw it. I DARE YOU!

Ace: It is the mucus that binds us.

Ace: Your request is not unlike your lower intestine: stinky and loaded with danger.

[spying, sitting in a mechanical rhino]::Ace: Kinda hot in these rhinos...

[Ace is chasing the villain with a monster truck]::Ace: Nobody wants to play with me!

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)

Actors

• Noble Willingham (actor)
• Sean Young (actress)
• Bill Zuckert (actor)
• Alice Drummond (actress)
• David Margulies (actor)
• Courteney Cox (actress)
• Raynor Scheine (actor)
• Mark Margolis (actor)
• Udo Kier (actor)
• Troy Evans (actor)
• Antoni Corone (actor)
• Jim Carrey (actor)
• John Capodice (actor)
• James G. Robinson (producer)
• Gary Barber (producer)

Genres

• Comedy

Taglines:

He's the best there is! (Actually, he's the only one there is.)

Quotes:

Man: Who are you?::Ace Ventura: Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. I've been sent in with a special play. Quarter back sneak

Melissa: Hi, I'm Melissa Robinson.::Ace Ventura: Pleasure to meet you.::Melissa: Did you have any trouble getting in?::Ace Ventura: No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle.

Ace Ventura: Be careful with that phone, Lieutenant. In time you could develop a tumour.

Dan Marino: Hey Ace?::Ace Ventura: Yeah, Dan?::Dan Marino: You got anymore of that gum?::Ace Ventura: That's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs.::Dan Marino: You're a weird guy, Ace. A weird guy.

Ace Ventura: If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer.

Mrs. Finkle: It was all that Dan Marino's fault, everyone knows that. If he had held the ball, laces out, like he was supposed to, Ray would never have missed that kick. Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. Would you like a cookie, son?

Man: [aggressively] What do you want?::Ace Ventura: HDS, sir, and how are you this afternoon? All righty, then. I have a package for you.::Man: Sounds broken.::Ace Ventura: Most likely, sir. I'll bet it was something nice, though.

Ace Ventura: Excuse me, Ron, I need to use the bathroom.::[whispering loudly]::Ace Ventura: I think it's the pâté.::Ronald Camp: Sure, right over there.::Ace Ventura: Thanks! Stuff probably looks better on the way out, huh?

Ronald Camp: I'll have the plumbing checked immediately, Mr. Ace.::Ace Ventura: See that you do. If I'd been drinking out of the toilet, I might've been killed.

[Aguado stomps on a cockroach to provoke Ventura]::Aguado: Homicide, Ventura. Now how ya gonna solve that one? [everyone laughs]::Ace Ventura: Good question, Aguado. First, I'd establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug's DICK, and became insanely jealous. [everybody "oohs"] Then I'd lose 30 pounds... porkin' his wife!::Aguado: Why you...! [Aguado charges Ace, but Ace makes him do a face-plant that ends with his face just an inch or so from the dead bug]::Ace Ventura: Now, kiss and make up.

Saturday Night Crackups (1990)

Actors

• Ryan Sharp (editor)
• Ryan Sharp (actor)
• Ryan Sharp (actor)
• Ryan Sharp (actor)
• Ryan Sharp (actor)
• Ryan Sharp (actor)
• Ryan Sharp (actor)
• Ryan Sharp (actor)
• Ryan Sharp (actor)
• Ryan Sharp (producer)
• Ryan Sharp (writer)
• Ryan Sharp (director)
• Dustin Boes (actor)
• Dustin Boes (actor)
• Dustin Boes (actor)

Genres

• Comedy
• Short

• Lyrics: play full screen play karaoke
• As We Enter - Nas
• As We Wonder - Blues Traveler
• As I Wander - Ours
• Assassinator - Meat Beat Manifesto

Featuring: Damiam Marley
[Damian Marley]
As we enter
Come now we take you on the biggest adventure
[Nas]
Must be dementia, that you ever thought
You could touch our credentials, what's the initials?
[Damian Marley]
You be Jamrock the lyrical official
Send out the order, laws and the rituals
[Nas]
Burn candles, say prayers, paint murals
It is truth we big news, we hood heroes
[Damian Marley]
Break past the anchor, we come to conquer
Man a badman, we no play Willy Wonka
[Nas]
And I got the guns
[Damian Marley]
I got the ganja
[Nas]
And we could blaze it up on your block if you want to
Or haze it up stash box in a Hummer
Or you could run up and get done up
[Damian Marley]
Or get something that you want none of
Unlimited amount you collect from us
Direct from us, street intellectuals
[Nas]
And I'm shrewd about decimals
And my man'll speak Patois
And I can speak rap star
Y'all feel me even if it's in Swahili
Habari Ghani
[Damian Marley]
Mzuri sana
Switch up the language and move to Ghana
[Nas]
Salute and honor, real revolution rhymers
[Damian Marley]
Rhythm piranhas
[Nas]
Like true Obamas, unfold the drama
[Nas]
Word is out, hysteria you heard about
Nas and Jr. Gong gonna turn it out
Body the verse until they scream "murder" out
The kings is back, time to return the crown
Who want it? Tuck your chain, we're due coming
Renegades that'll peel you back like new hundreds
Bet your jewels on it, you don't want to lose on it
Either move on or move on it
[Damian Marley]
Queens to Kingston
Gunshot we use and govern the kingdom
Rise of the Winston, I can see the fear up in your eyes
Realize you can die any instant
[Damian Marley]
And I can hear the sound of a voice
When you must lose your life like mice in the kitchen
[Nas]
Snitching, I can see him pissing on hisself
And he's wetting up his thighs and he trying to resist it
[Damian Marley]
Switching, I can smell him digging up shit like a fly
Come around and be persistent
[Nas]
That's how you end up in a hitlist
[Damian Marley]
Ain't no bad man business
[Nas]
No evidence
[Damian Marley]
Crime scene, fingerprint-less
[Nas]
Flow effortless
[Damian Marley]
Casual like the weekends
[Nas]
No pressure when
[Damian Marley]
We're comfy and decent
[Nas]
We set this off beasting
[Damian Marley]
Hunting season
[Nas]
And, frankly speaking...
Word is out, hysteria you heard about
Nas and Jr. Gong gonna turn it out
Body the verse until they scream "murder" out
The kings is back, time to return the crown
Who want it? Tuck your chain, we're due coming
Renegades that'll peel you back like new hundreds
Bet your jewels on it, you don't want to lose on it
Either move on or move on it
Word is out, hysteria you heard about
Nas and Jr. Gong gonna turn it out
Body the verse until they scream "murder" out
The kings is back, time to return the crown
Who want it? Tuck your chain, we're due coming
Renegades that'll peel you back like new hundreds
Bet your jewels on it, you don't want to lose on it

Last night the devil came out to play with me
Singing "let the games begin"
You know the harder I try to play his game
The more impossible to win
And I wonder aloud
Do they understand what the music means
You know a baby
Is singing the blues when it first screams
Playing for some dimes the rate of exchange
Laughing all the way
You know it doesn't really matter what they put us through
As long as we get to play
And I wonder aloud
Do they understand what the music means
You know a baby
Is singing the blues when it first screams
Feeling the crowd on a (seasonal/locational reference)
Freedom to call the tunes
You know you're the ones we came here for
And we won't be leaving soon
And we wonder aloud
Do they understand what the music means
You know a baby
Is singing the blues when it first screams
And we wonder aloud
We wonder aloud

As I wander at the bottom of the sand
The fish tonight swim in melody
Oh these people, we've got to love these people
Cause if we don't they will go away..away
Tell everyone don't be afraid to die
We watch them
Tell everyone don't be afraid to die

Lick 'em one. (x3)
Inteligent lyric, I and I do plans?
Hybrid liquidater originator
Hybrid liquidater assassinator
Hybrid liquidater originator
Hybrid liquidater assassinator
Hybrid liquidater originate
Hybrid liquidater assassinate
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Hybrid liquidater assassinator
Hybrid liquidater originator
Hybrid liquidater assassinator
Hybrid liquidater originate
Hybrid liquidater assassinator
Hybrid liquidater originator
Hybrid liquidater assassinator
Hybrid liquidater originator
Hybrid liquidater assassinator
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Hybrid liquidater assassinator
assassinator
assassinator
assassinator
assassinator
assassinator
assassinator
assassinator
assassinator
And I push it down the hell hole like this
Hybrid liquidater originator
Hybrid liquidater assassinator
Hybrid liquidater originator
Hybrid liquidater assassinator
Hybrid liquidater originator
Hybrid liquidater assassinator
Hybrid liquidater originate
Hybrid liquidater assassinate
assassinator
originate
Lick 'em one
Lick 'em one
assassinator
originate
lick 'em one
Originator
assassinator
originate
lick 'em one
Originator
assassinator
originate
lick 'em one
Originator
assassinator
originate
lick 'em one
Originator
assassinator
originate
lick 'em one
Originator
assassinator
originate
lick 'em one
Originator
Liquidate