Francis Martin Patrick "Frankie" Boyle (born 16 August 1972) is a Scottish comedian and writer, well known for his pessimistic, often controversial sense of humour. He was a permanent panellist on Mock the Week for seven series and has made guest appearances on several popular panel shows including Have I Got News for You, 8 Out of 10 Cats, Would I Lie to You?, You Have Been Watching, Never Mind the Buzzcocks (as guest host and team captain when Phill Jupitus was unavailable for recording) and Argumental, as well as writing for Jimmy Carr's show Distraction and Sean Lock's TV Heaven, Telly Hell.
Boyle was born and brought up in Glasgow. After leaving school he attended Aston University for a year before leaving and starting a BA in English at the University of Sussex. Whilst doing a teacher-training course in Edinburgh at the age of 23, he began doing stand-up routines. He got his big break after performing at The Stand Comedy Club in Edinburgh, a venue that has also helped launch the careers of Stewart Lee, Johnny Vegas, Dara Ó Briain and Michael McIntyre.
Frankie Beverly (born Howard Beverly, December 6, 1946, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania) is an American singer, musician, songwriter, and producer, known primarily for his recordings with the soul and funk band, Maze.
Beverly started out singing gospel music in church as a schoolboy in Philadelphia. He has claimed that his first professional concert was a tour with The Silhouettes (famous for their 1958 hit single, "Get a Job") when he was only twelve years old. However, this is disputed by those associated with the group, whose members were never known to mention him while they were alive.
As a teenager he formed The Blenders, a short-lived a cappella, doo-wop group that were influenced by The Dells, The Moonglows, and The Del Vikings. After that outfit dissolved, he founded The Butlers, which would be the first group he recorded with in 1963. As time passed, they caught the attention of the record producer Kenny Gamble, who eventually released recordings by the group.
It turned out that music performed by The Butlers did not fit into the "Philly Sound", and after some heavy touring, the group relocated to California. The unit was re-christened as Raw Soul and caught the attention of a sister-in-law to Marvin Gaye. Gaye featured them as an opening act at his shows, and also convinced Beverly to change the band's name to Maze.
Plot
Just returned from a vicious documentary shoot in Afghanistan, reporters Lauren Pantages and Billy 'Shooter" Daniels opt for an easy gig -- tell the rags-to-riches story of Ed Gersh, oldest living heavyweight Golden Gloves champion, teacher, entrepreneur, gentleman. By the end of this project, Lauren & Shooter will have taken an emotional roller-coaster ride the likes of which will make Afghanistan look like a walk in the park.
Plot
Jordan is an actor who is sick and tired of playing and auditioning for the stereotypes he fits into. He knows he has more to offer to the arts. After a few years of struggling, Jordan is destined to find a new path to break the stereotypes of the industry.
Plot
In Sicily, in a time not yet forgotten, in the heart of a small secluded town populated by cicadas, ticks and venomous snakes, that which made a man a real man was not riches or power, but his honor. He had to defend his dignity against insults and village gossip. It took little to stoke the fire once lit, and no one was immune. One of the worst humiliations a man can suffer was to have an adulterous wife. A man so disgraced would bear the mark of shame, with all eyes of the community upon him. It was said that "his horns were sticking out" for all to see.
Plot
Clarence and Alabama are newlyweds who acquire an unexpected wedding present. Unknown to the blissfully happy couple, ruthless gangsters are on their tail, determined to reclaim their lost property
Keywords: actor, amusement-park, audition, bathtub, bead-curtain, beating, black-comedy, blaxploitation, blood-splatter, bob-marley-impersonator
Stealing, Cheating, Killing. Who said romance is dead?
Not since Bonnie and Clyde have two people been so good at being bad.
Elliot: Hi. How are you? My name's Elliot, and I'm with the Cub Scouts of America. We're... we're selling uncut cocaine to get to the jamboree.
Dick Ritchie: Clarence, do you have any idea how much coke you have here?::Clarence Worley: Nope. Tell me.::Dick Ritchie: I don't know, but it's a fuckin' lot.
Clifford Worley: 'Cause you, you're part eggplant.::[all laugh]::Vincenzo Coccotti: Ohhh!::Clifford Worley: Huh? Hey! Hey! Hey!::[motioning with his hand three times]::Vincenzo Coccotti: You're a cantaloupe. [shoots Cliff in the face]
Drexl Spivey: Marty. Y'know what we got here? Motherfuckin' Charlie Bronson. Mr. Majestyk.
Marty: He's askin' about Alabama.::Drexl Spivey: Where the fuck is that bitch?::Clarence Worley: She's with me.::Drexl Spivey: Who the fuck are you?::Clarence Worley: I'm her husband.::Drexl Spivey: [laughs] Well, that makes us practically related.
Nicholson: You're an actor. Act, motherfucker.
Big Don: I eat the pussy, I eat the butt, I eat every motherfuckin' thang.
Drexl Spivey: They got everything here from a diddled-eyed joe to damned if I know.
Vincenzo Coccotti: Sicilians are great liars. The best in the world. I'm Sicilian. My father was the world heavy-weight champion of Sicilian liars. From growing up with him I learned the pantomime. There are seventeen different things a guy can do when he lies to give himself away. A guys got seventeen pantomimes. A woman's got twenty, but a guy's got seventeen... but, if you know them, like you know your own face, they beat lie detectors all to hell. Now, what we got here is a little game of show and tell. You don't wanna show me nothin', but you're tellin me everything. I know you know where they are, so tell me before I do some damage you won't walk away from.
Floyd: Hey! Get some beer and some cleaning products!
Plot
"All I Want For Christmas" is a comedy about two New York City children who launch a hilarious scheme to get what they most want this holiday season. Ethan, a practical older brother, and adorable Hallie, who knows how to charm her way out of a difficult situation, are intent on spending Christmas with their parents, Catherine and Micheal, and grandmother Lillian. As Ethan and Hallie embark on their adventure, almost nothing goes exactly as they planned. Complicating things is a smarmy businessman named Toney Boer, who has taken an interest in Catherine. Ethan, meanwhile, is preoccupied with not only his parents' romantic dilemma, but also his own - one brought about by his new friendship with Stephanie, his first teenage crush. What evolves is an elaborate scheme involving mice, telephone calls and an ice-cream truck, as Ethan and Hallie try to achieve their goal with the help of Stephanie. The duo's primary obstacle is their mother's fiance, Tony. The children finally succeed with a little Christmas magic from Santa Claus.
Keywords: actor-shares-first-name-with-character, boy, brother-sister-relationship, child's-point-of-view, children, christmas, christmas-lights, christmas-tree, department-store-santa, divorce
How far would you go to make a wish come true?
Sylvia: I thought it might be enchanting to have the bridesmaids in little jodhpurs and carrying riding crops festumed with baby's breath.::Lillian Brooks: That could be enchanting. In a stable.
Hallie O'Fallon: [to Ethan] Will you read me Old Yeller? I can read it myself, but I like the way you do the voices. You make everyone sound so weird.
Lillian Brooks: [about Tony] I don't believe he knows 500 people.
Lillian Brooks: We've got rats. You wouldn't know anything about vermin, would you Tony?
Marshall: [on the phone] My grandmother's passed out on the floor...::Ethan O'Fallon: That's great!
Ethan O'Fallon: Now look, Hallie, you can ask for toys, parakeets, hair care products, I don't care. But you may not ask for anything to do with interpersonal relationships! Got it? This is Santa Claus, not Dear Abby.
Lollipop Kid: You're an elf, right?::Ethan O'Fallon: No... no I'm not, no... sorry.::Lollipop Kid: Yes you are. Santa's elves always pretend they're not. It's their flaw.::Ethan O'Fallon: Look... kid... I'm a person... not an elf...
Kevin Mars: So not only are you a spaz, you're an elf?::Ethan O'Fallon: Yeah, that's right, I'm an elf. I'm the elf king!::Kevin Mars: Don't worry... we won't tell.
Ethan O'Fallon: Yeah, that's right! I'm an elf... I'm the elf KING!
Ethan O'Fallon: So, where'd you put your mittens?::Hallie O'Fallon: Do you really want to know?::Ethan O'Fallon: Yeah, I really want to know.::Hallie O'Fallon: I sold them.::Ethan O'Fallon: Fine... hope you got a good deal.
Plot
Two cabbies search San Francisco's Chinatown for a mysterious character who has disappeared with their $4000. Their quest leads them on a humorous, if mundane, journey which illuminates the many problems experienced by Chinese-Americans trying to assimilate into contemporary American society.
Keywords: asian-american, independent-film, reference-to-charlie-chan, san-francisco-california
Jo: This mystery is appropriately Chinese: what's not there seems to have just as much meaning as what is there.
Presco: You guys are looking for Mr. Chan-why don't you look in the puddle?
Plot
Richard Pryor is playing three different roles here. The first being a poor orange picker named Leroy Jones who gets laid off when by mistake he joins the worker's union during one of their demonstrations. Afterwards he is forced to leave his wife and family behind which also includes Leroy's father (also played by Pryor) to go to Los Angeles. Leroy ends up working for the same company that fired him back home. He is a manager at the company but he is now distant from his former pals. He meets and falls in love with Vanetta who is a labor organizer which leaves him splitting time between his wife Annie Mae and Vanetta. When Leroy finds out that the Reverend Lenox Thomas (also played by Pryor) has got his wife pregnant while he was absent, he then make the moves on the reverend's wife.
Keywords: actor-playing-multiple-roles, adultery, african-american, california, female-nudity, fruit-picker, impotence, jogging, labor-activist, labor-leader
(Spoken): Frankie, wherever you are, I love you
Though you've found a new love, I still miss you so
I just can't forget you, but you'll never know
Frankie, my darling, I'll never let you see me cry
Once I was your sweetheart, now I'm just a friend
Once you really loved me, now I just pretend
Frankie, my darling, I'll never let you see me cry
Oh, Frankie, I'd rather hide
These teardrops deep down inside
I'm crying, but you'll never see
I'd rather cry than have you pity me
Though my nights are lonely since we've been apart
I'll always keep this secret deep within my heart
Frankie, my darling, I'll never let you see me cry
Dark weekends in the sun out on Chelsea Road
Descending the stairs, Frankie, my one
Check your makeup in the mirror c'mon babe let's go
We'll dance 'round this dirty town 'til the night is all done
Let all the finer things sleep alone tonight
Let all the minor kings lose their thrones tonight
Don't worry about us, baby, we'll be alright
Well everybody's dying, this town's closing down
They're all sittin' down at the courthouse waiting for 'em to take the flag down
I see strange flashes in the sky up above
Gonna spend the night at the drive-in with the one that I love
At dusk the stars all appear on the screen
Yeah, just like they do each night in my dreams
But tonight's no dream, Frankie, I can feel myself too
Well now and forever my love is for you
Walk softly tonight little stranger
Yeah into these shadows we're passing through
Talk softly tonight, little angel
You make all my dream worlds come true
Well lately I've been standing out in the freezing rain
Readin' them want ads out on Chelsea Road
I'm winging down the street in search of new games
Hustling through these nightlights' diamond glow
Well Frankie I don't know what I'm gonna find
Maybe nothing at all, maybe a world I can call mine
Shining like these streetlights down here on the strand
Bright as the rain in the palm of your hand
Walk softly tonight, little stranger
Into the shadows where lovers go
Talk softly to me, little angel
Patty Patterson was my best friend
We shared everything 'til the bitter end
Out diaries, out secrets, out fantasies
I never thought she'd do this to me
Frankie was my boyfriend, he's a good looking guy
Had a great smile and pretty green eyes
I told her everything that fulilled his needs
That two-timeing bitch betrayed me
My boyfriend left me for the girl next door
My boyfriend left me for the girl next door
My boyfriend left me for the girl next door
My boyfriend left me
My ex-friend was five foot four
She was so stacked, she couldn't see the floor
When i saw Frankie's car in her driveway
I never thought it would end up this way
My boyfriend left me for the girl next door
My boyfriend left me for the girl next door
My boyfriend left me for the girl next door
My boyfriend left me
Get your own man, hooker!
I thought you were my best friend
He cheated and he left me for that bitch next door
She was my best friend, but now she's a whore
I loe my best friend and now my boyfriend too
It's a sad story, too bad it's true
My boyfriend left me for the girl next door
My boyfriend left me for the girl next door
My boyfriend left me for the girl next door
Frankie's never been to school but she's nobody's
Fool
She can outsmart you all
Frankie just threw her husband out,
'Cos that's something she can do without
Never took care of her kids
Only after ass and tits
Nightshifts and early wake-up calls
Children running in the hall
But Frankie is ok
Now she's waiting in line to buy a ticket for the
Lottery
With a big smile on her face
Frankie tries to soothe her troubled mind
Because life isn't always kind
She's sure things will work out
She keeps her hands firmly on her purse
In which the lottery ticket burns
Today a tramp tomorrow queen
And if not: dreams are for free
Dayshifts and late-night calls
A lot of screaming in the hall
But Frankie ist just fine
Now she's waiting in the line
With 3 shopping bags in a grocery
And a big smile on her face
Then a man says: "Bitch, move your fad ass a bit"
Frankie says "Thanks for the compliment,
You ugly piece of shit!
I am a bitch
But that's why I manage
And talking 'bout my ass
Well, you can fucking kiss it"
She never even checked the number of her lot
It might have been on purpose or maybe she forgot
The thought of beeing lucky simply was enough
Don't let nobody drag you down
Frankie was a good girl, everybody knows,
she paid one hundred dollars for Albert's suit of
clothes
He's her man, and he did her wrong
Frankie went down to the corner saloon, she ordered her
a glass of beer,
she asked the barkeeper, "Gas my lovin' Albert been
here?"
"He been here, but he's gone again"
"Ain't gonna tell you no story, Frankie, I ain't gonna
tell you no lie"
Says, "Albert a-passed about a hour ago, with a girl
you call Alice Frye
He's your man, and he's doin' you wrong
Frankie went down to the corner saloon, she didn't go
to be gone long
She peeked through keyhole in the door, spied Albert in
Alice's arm
He's my man, and you's doin' me wrong
Frankie called Albert, she shot him three or four
times,
says, "Stand back, I'm smokin' my gun, let me see is
Albert dyin'
He's my man, and he did me wrong"
Frankie and the judge walked outta the stand, and
walked out side by side
The judge says, "Frankie, you're gonna be justified,
killin' a man, and he did you wrong"
Frankie was a good girl, everybody know,
she paid one hundred dollars for Albert's suit of
clothes
He's her man, but he did her wrong
Said, "Turn me over, mother, turn me over slow,
it may be my last time, you won't turn me no more
He's my man, and he did me wrong"
Says, Frankie was a good girl, everybody know,
she paid one hundred dollars for Albert's suit of
clothes
Frankie baby wears leather boots
she likes the Stooges and punk rock groups
born in something she just can't win
she strives for pureness but she's built for sin
she tried it once with Jesus
and she once was a June-Bride
when I met her on the barstool she just smiled
Frankie, Frankie, Frankie, got me down on my kness
Frankie, Frankie, Frankie going aaahhh!
Frankie baby's misunderstood
all the time in the neighboor hood
she's the beauty that they can't get
she's the freedom that they resent
a hell respected husband
but your kids don't know well
hiding with your whore at the motel
Frankie, Frankie, Frankie, got me down on my kness
Frankie, Frankie, Frankie going aaahhh!
Yeah!!
Take it easy easy easy!!
Paul wears lipstick and a dress
Frankie lives like any man would do
you feel you've sinned so you confess
but it don't go!
what you are is just what you are...
what you are is just what you are...
what you are is just what you are...
what you are is just what you are...
what you are is just what you are...
what you are is just what you are...
oh Franki...
what you are is just what you are...
what you are is just what you are...
what you are is just what you are...
what you are is just what you are...
what you are is just what you are...
what you are is just what you are...
what you are is just what you are...
what you are is just what you are...
what you are is just what you are...
what you are is just what you are...
what you are is just what you are...
I can't love you.
Hey Frankie?!
I was walking down the street one day
when I looked up I saw a friend.
Frankie - do you remember me?
He looked at me and then I blushed
'Cause I remembered I loved you so much.
Way back then we were friends going together
but then you left me.
Frankie - do you remember me? Frankie - do you remember?
You were fifteen
I was twelve
it was summer
we were so in love.
I never loved anyQne this much
look at me
I'm thrilled to your touch.
Frankie - do you remember me?
Frankie - do you remember me?
how you brought me down - down
down.
All I did was runnin' around - around.
You'll never know how much I loved you.
Frankie - do you remember? Do you remember me? Frankie -
You walked me to the Deli
then we sat in the booth where it all began.
I looked into your big eyes
and I said to myself we coulda have twins.
Frankie - do you remember me?
how you brought me down - down
down. . . .
He looked at me and then I blushed
. . .
Frankie - do you remember me? Do you remember me
Frankie
my Frankie
my baby
Frankie - do you remember me?
Ooooh
No no no
You know there are two sides to every story...
See I don't know why you're cryin like a bitch
Talkin shit like a snitch
Why'd you write a song about me
If you really didn't care you wouldn't wanna share
Tellin everybody just how you feel
Fuck what I did, was your fault somehow
Fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the cryin, it didn't mean jack
Well guess what yo, fuck you right back
Fuck what I did, was your fault somehow
Fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the cryin, it didn't mean jack
Well guess what yo, fuck you right back
You thought you could really make me moan
I had better sex all alone
I had to turn to your friend
Now you want me to come back
You must be smokin crack
I'm going elsewhere and that's a fact
Fuck all those nights, I moaned real loud
Fuck it I faked it, aren't you proud
Fuck all those nights you thought you broke my back
Well guess what yo, your sex was whack
Fuck all those nights, I moaned real loud
Fuck it I faked it, aren't you proud
Fuck all those nights you thought you broke my back
Well guess what yo, your sex was whack
You questioned did I care
Maybe I would have
If you would've gone down there
But now it's over
But I do admit I'm glad
I didn't catch your crabs
I can't sweat dat
'cause I've got to go
Fuck what I did, was your fault somehow
Fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the the cryin, it didn't mean jack
Well guess what yo, fuck you right back
You made me do this
(Hook)
Ton of broads, I bet you do
Foreign cars, yea I bet you do
Got 100 rounds and I bet you shoot
Don’t have my dogs, gon fetch you too
Say that yall winnin nigga
All them cars rented nigga
Ain’t no broads in it nigga
Handle yall business
(Verse)
Blowin cheese, I bet you do
Pourin lean, yea I bet you do
That lil 22 in yo pocket
These niggas talkin like they bout the sound of a rocket
Please, Rolex raised, let me guess, you too
God flow, let me bless you too
Who let you through?
I stay with my soldiers and niggas ain’t moving unless I do
They yelling 93 you crazy
Cuz all them other niggas is aiming
Well it’s just another day to me, they got nothing to say to me
Unless they answer how they can pay me
All you do is fuck with lames, Eddie Winslow
You the reason why I keep my brim low
I’m just chillin, it’s just me and my kinfolk
And you the type that hate to keep shit simple
So I dismiss and the skur off
Venice beach with my shirt off
With no tattoos, just bitches on me
And no videos, just pictures only
It’s the Grammy rippin the skirt off
While you just rippin her purse off
Cuz you the kind of nigga that would lie to kick it
I keep a line of bitches while you be lyin to bitches
(Hook x2)
You got a ton of broads, I bet you do
Foreign cars, yea I bet you do
Got 100 rounds and I bet you shoot
Don’t have my dogs, gon fetch you too
Say that yall winnin nigga
All them cars rented nigga
Ain’t no broads in it nigga
Handle yall business
(Verse)
Slayin things, I bet you do
Gangbangers don’t test my cool
Push yo boulders and be on the block
With them super soakers we wet you too
It’s Makaveli, niggas crack yo boo
Baby mamas, yea I smack that too
A nigga bout to fly with a cutie pie
Cuz my security bitch know how to get shit through with my mama
Pretty Forgiato, got a choppa full of hollows
I be choppin up the hall with the guwops
Said she wanna suck a pimp dick
Til a lil girl spit and the big girl swallow
I was on a roll, nigga 36 souls and a kick bitch named Kiana
Bet she never loved no nigga like me
Freddie G told a bitch be honest
Bust it open, I bet you do
Say she never thank, yes you do
Every night when I play the pipe I had a bitch naked right next to you
Drink yo drug and I be on that too
Couple of blunts, I bring the hoes back through
Baby we ain’t doin no tainted lovin
No handcuffing, you can fuck my crew
Young king
(Hook x2)
Ton of broads, I bet you do
Foreign cars, yea I bet you do
Got 100 rounds and I bet you shoot
Don’t have my dogs, gon fetch you too
Say that yall winnin nigga
All them cars rented nigga
Ain’t no broads in it nigga
Handle yall business