Brooks, Mel Filmography

• Mr. Peabody & Sherman 2014, role: actor, character name: Albert Einstein Play in Full Screen
• Untitled Bill Hayes Documentary 2014, role: actor, Play in Full Screen
• AFI Life Achievement Award: A Tribute to Mel Brooks 2013, role: actor, character name: Himself - Honoree Play in Full Screen
• Mel and His Movies 2013, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• Richard Pryor: Omit the Logic 2013, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• Excavating the 2000 Year Old Man 2012, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• Mel Brooks Strikes Back! 2012, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• Mel Brooks Strikes Back! 2012, role: producer, Play in Full Screen
• Mel Brooks and Dick Cavett Together Again 2011, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• Abschied von den Fröschen 2011, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• The 8th Annual TV Land Awards 2010, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• Ruby's Studio: The Feelings Show 2010, role: actor, character name: Sally Simon Simmons Narrator Play in Full Screen
• The Kennedy Center Honors: A Celebration of the Performing Arts 2009, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• Hollywood Singing & Dancing: A Musical History - 1970's 2009, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• Silent Laughter: The Reel Inspirations of Silent Movie 2009, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• Hollywood Singing & Dancing: A Musical History - 1980s, 1990s and 2000s 2009, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• A Night at the Movies: The Suspenseful World of Thrillers 2009, role: actor, character name: Himself - Interviewee Play in Full Screen
• Get Smart's Bruce and Lloyd Out of Control 2008, role: writer, Play in Full Screen
• Get Smart 2008, role: writer, Play in Full Screen
• Spaceballs: The Animated Series 2008, role: actor, Play in Full Screen
• Mike Douglas: Moments & Memories 2008, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• Get Smart 2008, role: miscellaneous crew, Play in Full Screen
• Spaceballs: The Animated Series 2008, role: writer, Play in Full Screen
• The Making of 'The Larry Sanders Show' 2007, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movies: 10th Anniversary Edition 2007, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• Hitler: The Comedy Years 2007, role: actor, character name: Singer in 'Springtime for Hitler' Play in Full Screen
• Forbes Celebrity 100: Who Made Bank? 2006, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• The Dick Cavett Show with Mel Brooks 2006, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• Cavett Remembers the Comic Legends 2006, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• The 63rd Annual Golden Globe Awards 2006, role: actor, character name: Himself - Nominee: Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy Play in Full Screen
• World of Robin Hood 2006, role: actor, character name: Rabbi Tuckman Play in Full Screen
• Assembling 'Robots': The Magic, the Music, & the Comedy 2005, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• The Producers 2005, role: writer, Play in Full Screen
• The Producers 2005, role: producer, Play in Full Screen
• The Young Turks 2005, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• Spaceballs: The Documentary 2005, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• The Making of 'Robots' 2005, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• John Candy: Comic Spirit 2005, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• The Producers 2005, role: actor, character name: Hilda the Pigeon Play in Full Screen
• The Producers 2005, role: writer, Play in Full Screen
• The Producers 2005, role: actor, character name: Tom the Cat Play in Full Screen
• The Comedians' Comedian 2005, role: actor, Play in Full Screen
• Cuando España se desnudó 2005, role: actor, Play in Full Screen
• The Producers 2005, role: writer, Play in Full Screen
• 10 Most Excellent Things: The Producers 2005, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• Robots 2005, role: actor, character name: Bigweld Play in Full Screen
• The Producers 2005, role: writer, Play in Full Screen
• 100 Years of Hope and Humor 2003, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• Sid Caesar Collection: Buried Treasures - The Impact of Sid Caesar 2003, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen
• The Award Show Awards Show 2003, role: actor, character name: Himself Play in Full Screen

Brooks, Mel Filmography

• Putney Swope 1969, role: actor, character name: Mr. Forget It Play in Full Screen

Famous quotes by Mel Brooks:

• Play in Full Screen
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  Please Don't Touch Meshow lyrics

  Please Don't Touch Me

  Elizabeth]
  Dream all you want my darling
  Of every lustful situation
  Those naughty thoughts
  Are fine with me
  As long as they
  Stay locked away
  In your imagination
  You can hug me til I scream
  If it's only in a dream
  But please don't touch me
  You can feel me til I squeal
  Just as long as it's not real
  But please don't touch me
  You can stick me
  You can lick me
  You can pinch me til I'm blue
  You can bite me
  And delight me til I'm blind
  You can savage me
  And ravage me
  I care not what you do
  If the lovely filthy things you do
  Are only in your mind
  You can spank me til I'm red
  If it's only in your head
  But please don't touch me
  You can have me don't you see
  If it's just a fantasy
  But please don't touch me
  [spoken]
  Oh Freddie, darling, I know that you're a virgin.
  [Frederick Frankenstein]
  Yes, for me, science has always come first.
  [Elizabeth]
  And as every guy in New York knows - I come first too.
  After our wedding
  You'll be oh so glad we waited
  Until then
  Take cold showers when you're overstimulated
  Anticipation is sublime
  And although you might think I'm
  A tease
  Please don't touch me
  [Female pedestrian]
  Oh everybody look! How unique. They're not touching.
  [Male pedestrian]
  It must be "Please Don't Touch Me,"
  the new dance craze that's sweeping catholic girl
  schools all over the midwest.
  [Female pedestrian]
  Oh what fun! Let's try it.
  [Chorus]
  Please don't
  Please don't
  Please don't touch me
  [Elizabeth]
  Do not hug us
  Do not drug us
  Do not slug us til we cry
  Do not throb us
  Do not rob us of our wits
  [Male chorus]
  We won't poke you
  We won't stroke you
  Til we're just about to die
  [Elizabeth]
  But even in your wildest dreams
  Don't dare to touch our tits
  Don't dare to touch our tits
  [Female chorus]
  Don't dare to touch our tits
  Don't touch our tits
  Don't touch our tits
  Don't touch our
  [Elizabeth]
  Tits, tits, tits, tits
  Tits, tits, tits, tits
  Tits!
  Our tits!
  When we're absolutely wed
  You can do it til we're dead
  [Frederick Frankenstein]
  Elizabeth!
  [Chorus]
  Til then please, please, please
  We're down on our knees
  [Elizabeth]
  Please keep your hands off these
  [Chorus & Elizabeth]
  Please don't touch me
  [Chorus]
  We won't touch you
  [Elizabeth]
  Please don't touch me
  [Chorus]
  We won't touch you
  [Chorus & Elizabeth]
  She's so touchy
  [Elizabeth]

• Play in Full Screen
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  Opening Nightshow lyrics

  Opening Night

  USHERETTE #1 & #2:
  Opening night...
  It's opening night!
  It's Max Bialystock's latest show
  Will it flop or will it go?
  The cast is taking its final bow
  Here comes the audience now
  The doors are open: they're on their way...
  Let's hear what they have to say!
  FIRST NIGHTERS:
  He's done it again
  He's done it again
  Max Bialystock has done it again!
  We can't believe it
  You can't conceive it...
  MAN FIRST NIGHTER:
  How'd he achieve it?
  FIRST NIGHTERS:
  It's the worst show in town!
  We sat there sighing
  Groaning and crying
  There's no denying
  It's the worst show in town!
  WOMEN FIRST NIGHTERS:
  Oh, we wanted to stand up and hiss...
  MEN FIRST NIGHTERS:
  We've seen shit...
  FIRST NIGHTERS:
  But never like this!
  Max Bialystock has done it again!
  The songs were rotten
  The book was stinkin'
  What he did to Shakespeare
  Booth did to Lincoln!
  We couldn't leave faster...
  USHERETTE #1 & #2:
  What a disaster!
  FIRST NIGHTERS & USHERETTES:
  We are still in shock
  Who produced this shlock?
  That slimey, sleazy Max Bialystock

• Play in Full Screen
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  Man About Townshow lyrics

  Man About Town

  [Frederick]
  Now you're a creature,
  a primitive soul,
  you don't know your left from your right,
  you're lost in the dark,
  you need a spark,
  to lead you into the light
  I'll be that guide,
  I'll be by your side,
  I'll put you out of the mire,
  you'll be the greatest creation of man
  since the invention of fire!
  You will walk
  you will talk
  ev'rybody witll gawk
  at the Man About Town!
  And I know
  when you open that door,
  you'll be cheered, never feared evermore!
  Raise yor eyes to the skies,
  there's no holding you down
  You won't be a flash in the pan
  You're the man...
  The Man About Town!
  Though you feel like a beast in a cage,
  stick with me,
  and you'll be
  on the stage!
  Throw your hat in the ring,
  they might make you a king,
  and you'll trade that hat for a crown,
  You're the man,

• Play in Full Screen
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  Listen to Your Heartshow lyrics

  Listen to Your Heart

  Let's forget about thinking
  Thinking's never smart
  Flush your brain right down the drain
  And listen to your heart
  Let's be a couple of dumbells
  Dumb right from the start
  Loose your mind, 'cause love is blind,
  And listen to your heart
  Let's be stupid together
  Not a thought in our head
  Bird brains of a feather
  Who'll fly right into bed
  Let's be tottaly foolish
  Two nitwitts never apart
  You'll find such bliss in
  The kissin' you're missin'
  So listen,listen to your heart
  As Ev'rybody knows,
  If it's sex they're thinking of,
  Intellectuals are ineffectuals
  When it comes to making love.
  Nietzsche always said he wouldn't
  Schopenhauer thought he shouldn't
  And as for Immanuel Kant,
  Ev'ry girl in town knew that Kant,
  Couldn't!
  [Dance break]
  Listen to your heart
  Listen to your heart
  Let's be blithering idiots
  Singing love's sweet song
  We'll blither ev'ry morning
  and blither all night long
  Let's find things undiscovered
  Don't resist cupid's dart
  You'll find such joy
  Just by being a boy,

• Play in Full Screen
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  Along Came Bialyshow lyrics

  Along Came Bialy

  MAX:
  The time has come
  To be a lover from the Argentine
  To slick my hair down with Brilliantine
  And gargle heavily with Listerine
  Wow!
  It's time for Max
  To put his backers on their backs
  And thrill them with amazing acts
  Those aging nymphomaniacs...
  Ah-ah-ah
  Ah-ah-ah!
  They were helpless
  They were hopeless
  Then along came Bialy!
  They were joyless
  They were boyless
  Then along came Bialy!
  They're my angels
  I'm their devil
  And I keep those embers aglow
  When I woos 'em
  I can't lose 'em
  'Cause I cast my spell 'n'
  They start yellin'
  Fire down below!
  They were listing
  They were sinking
  Then along came Bialy!
  They were desp'rate
  They were drinking
  Then along came Bialy!
  So romantic
  They were frantic
  Then their prayers were heard up above!
  Heaven sent them
  Their Bialy!
  I'm the celebration of love!
  LITTLE OLD LADIES:
  We were helpless
  We were hopeless
  Then along came Bialy!
  HOLD ME - TOUCH ME:
  Life had passed us by
  And love had stolen away
  LICK ME - BITE ME:
  At the end of our rope
  We'd given up hope
  Of one last roll in the hay
  KISS ME - FEEL ME:
  Discarded dolls
  Abandoned wrecks
  ALL 3 LITTLE OLD LADIES:
  Condemned to a life
  Of sitting and knitting
  When all we really wanted was ... sex!
  MAX:
  Ah, did you bring the checkee, my little turtledove?
  HOLD ME - TOUCH ME:
  Yes, but first, Bialy, can we please play one dirty
  little game?
  MAX:
  Here in broad daylight?
  HOLD ME - TOUCH ME:
  It'll just be a quickie.
  MAX:
  Okay, what, what?
  HOLD ME - TOUCH ME:
  Let's play the Distracted Tourist and the Ever-Watchful
  Orangutan.
  MAX:
  Oy, are you trying to kill me? Please, I'm exhausted.
  Let's play one game with absolutely no sex.
  HOLD ME - TOUCH ME:
  What?
  MAX:
  How 'bout the Jewish Princess and Her Husband.
  LITTLE OLD LADIES:
  So romantic
  We were frantic
  Then our prayers were heard up above
  Heaven sent us
  Our Bialy!
  He's the celebration of love!
  MAX:
  Fire down below!
  LITTLE OLD LADIES:
  We were listing
  We were sinking
  Then along came Bialy!
  We were desp'rate
  We were drinking
  Then along came Bialy!
  So romantic
  We were frantic
  Then our prayers were heard up above!
  It's Bialy!
  Hail, Bialy!
  He's the culmination
  The restoration
  The consummation
  The titillation
  Ejaculation
  He's the celebration of love...
  MAX:
  Bloom...Bloom!
  LEO:
  What, Max, what?
  MAX:
  I've done it! I've done it! Look, we got all the money.
  Now all we have to do it put on the biggest flop in
  history!
  LEO:
  That's great!
  MAX & LEO:
  We can do it, we can do it
  We can make a million bucks!
  ULLA:
  Bialystock and Bloom, Bialystock and Bloom!
  The show's a go!
  ROGER & CARMEN:
  He's raised the money, we're on our way
  Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay
  We have our backing, oh, what a day
  Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay
  Wonder of wonders, we have all our cash
  Barring all blunders, we should have a smash!
  We know that...we can do it!
  ROGER, CARMEN & THE TEAM:
  Gay, gay, gay, gay...
  Gay, gay, gay, gay...
  Gay, gay, gay, gay
  MAX & LEO:
  We can do it! We can do it!
  We can do it
  We can make a million bucks!
  Ev'rything we've ever wanted
  Is set to come our way
  We know that...we can do it!
  We can make it, we won't fake it
  We were fated to be mated...
  ULLA:
  Bialystock and Bloom...
  Bialystock and Bloom...
  Bialystock and Bloom!
  And Bloom!
  Bialystock and Bloom!
  And Bloom!
  Bialystock and Bloom...
  FRANZ:
  Deutschland, Deutschland, uber alles
  Alles in der welt!
  Deutschland, Deutschland, uber alles
  Alles in der welt!
  LITTLE OLD LADIES:
  Then along came Bialy!
  We were desp'rate
  We were drinking
  Then along came Bialy!
  Bialy was romantic
  Our pulse became so frantic
  It's Bialy!
  Hail Bialy!
  ULLA & FRANZ:
  Bialystock and Bloom...
  ULLA, FRANZ, ROGER, CARMEN & THE TEAM:
  Bialystock and Bloom...
  MAX, LEO, ULLA, FRANZ, ROGER, CARMEN & THE TEAM:
  Bialystock and Bloom!!
  MAX & LEO:
  We can do it...
  ALL EXCEPT MAX & LEO:
  They can do it...
  ALL:
  Say goodbye to woe and gloom
  MAX & LEO:
  We can do it...
  ALL EXCEPT MAX & LEO:
  Nothing to it...
  ALL:
  Can't you hear that bing-bang-boom!!
  ALL EXCEPT MAX & LEO:
  With their brilliance
  Their resilience
  Up together they will zoom!
  MAX & LEO:
  We can't miss!
  ALL EXCEPT MAX & LEO:
  They were fated to be mated

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  Aloneshow lyrics

  Alone

  [Elizabeth]
  Oh Freddie. Freddie, I miss you so much. Life is
  absolute—(to waiter) Dry martini James, and I mean dry—
  (to Frederick) hell
  without you. I’m so…so…so…
  (sung)
  Alone
  On my French ivory phone
  Adrift in a sea of anwe
  Just twenty-two servants and me
  (to waiter) Not dry enough.
  (sung)
  Alone
  Here I am on my own
  Champagne and foi groi
  Just twenty-two garson and moi
  (to waiter) Not dry enough.
  (sung)
  I’m so lost without you
  Life doesn’t seem right
  Although it’s petris they’re pouring
  I find it all boring
  I need you to get through the night
  (to waiter) Too dry.
  (sung)
  Alone
  I’m so freaking alone
  Dancing ‘till half-past three
  Just twenty-two playboys and me
  Keep your gala premieres
  They bore me to tears
  I always feel blue
  At a fancy to-do
  Who needs elation
  Delightful sensation
  I don’t want fun
  I want you
  But I’m flying solo
  ‘Cause I’m so oh-so alone
  Alone

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  'Til Himshow lyrics

  'Til Him

  LEO:
  Your honour...when I was in Rio, and had everything I'd
  ever dreamed of
  I suddenly realized that ... this man... this man...
  No one every made me feel like someone
  'Til him
  Life was really nothing but a glum one
  'Til him
  My existence bordered on the tragic
  Always timid, never took a chance
  Then I felt his magic
  And my heart began to dance
  I was always frightened, fraught with worry...
  'Til him
  I was going nowhere in a hurry
  'Til him
  He filled up my empty life
  Filled it to the brim
  There could never ever be
  Another one...like him
  MAX:
  Leo, I ... I never realized ... you're a good singer.
  LEO:
  Thank you, Max. I sang it for you. I sang it because
  I'm your friend.
  MAX:
  You are? Gee, I've had a lot of relationships, but you
  couldn't call any
  of them friend. But come to think of it.
  No one ever ever really knew me
  'Til him
  Everyone was always out to screw me
  'Til him
  Never met I man I ever trusted
  Always dealt with shysters in the past
  Now I'm well adjusted
  'Cause I've got a friend at last
  LITTLE OLD LADIES:
  Aaaaaaaahh!
  MAX:
  Don't help me.
  Always playing singles, never doubles
  'Til him
  Never had a pal to share my troubles
  'Til him
  LEO:
  He filled up my empty life
  LEO & MAX:
  Filled it to the brim
  LEO:
  There could never ever be

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  Please Send Me Someoneshow lyrics

  Please Send Me Someone

  [Hermit]
  (spoken)
  Oh, Lord, please take pity!
  I'm blind and oh so lonely!
  (sung)
  Someone,
  Send me someone
  I need someone
  Who will care
  Someone,
  Send me someone
  A friend to end despair
  Someone to comfort my soul,
  Someone to make my life whole,
  Can you hear me?
  Someone,
  I'm praying for someone,
  I'm saying there's someone
  Out there for me!
  Each night I'm yearning,
  Tossing and turning,
  Dreaming my dream comes true!
  Someone,
  Please send me someone,
  I'm so blue.
  (spoken)
  Oh, lordy. Look down on your poor blind hermit.
  It's been so long since I felt the touch of someone's
  hand,
  so long since I heard the sound of someone's voice.
  Each night, all I hear is the wind in the trees, and if
  I'm lucky, an or maybe...a cricket.
  Oh, Lord, let's face it, we're talkin' LONELY here.
  (sung)
  Can you hear me?
  Someone,
  I'm praying for someone,
  I'm saying there's someone
  Out there for me.
  Each night I'm yearning,
  Tossing and turning,
  Dreaming my dream comes true!
  Someone,
  Please send me someone,
  Dear God, send someone
  [Monster crashes in]

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  Roll In The Hayshow lyrics

  Roll In The Hay

  Frederick:(Spoken)How are we getting to the castle?
  Inga:(Speaks in German)
  Frederick:(Spoken)What's that?
  Inga:(Spoken)A hay ride!
  Inga:Roll, roll, roll in ze hay
  Roll, roll your troubles away
  When life is awful
  Just jump on a straw full
  And roll, roll in ze hay
  Roll, roll, roll in ze hay
  Roll, roll, do it all day
  When spirits are saggin'
  Just jump in a wagon
  And roll, roll in ze hay
  Inga:(Spoken)I'm very high spirited doctor. I hope you
  won't hold it against me.
  Frederick:(Spoken)Oh. I'll try not to.
  Inga:Hitch those horses up for a gay ride
  We'll have lot's of fun
  Nothings better than a hay ride
  Underneath the sun
  Roll, roll, roll in ze hay
  Sometimes love finds a way
  You might steal a kiss
  From an unwitting miss
  Whose not to resistant to play
  So let's roll, roll, roll, roll in ze hay
  Inga:(Spoken)So, have you thought of any ways you could
  use me?
  Frederick:(Spoken)Two.And I'm working on a third.
  Inga:(Spoken)Oh, good! Does that mean I'm hired?
  Frederick:(Spoken)Well, a large part of me is pointing
  in that direction.
  Frederick & Inga: Roll, roll in ze hay.
  Igor: We'll go up the path, then down the hill, back up
  the path, then down the hill.
  We'll go up and down and up and down and up and down
  and up and down.
  Frederick & Inga: Up and down, and up and down,
  and up and down, and up and down and.
  Inga:Up?
  Frederick:Down?
  Inga:Up?
  Frederick:Down?
  Inga:Up!
  Frederick:Down!
  Inga:Up!
  Frederick:Down!
  Igor:(Sung in unison)Hitch those horses up for a gay
  ride
  We'll have lot's of fun
  Nothings better than a hay ride
  Underneath the sun
  Inga: Yodeladie, yodeladie
  Frederick & Igor: Roll in it
  Inga: Roll in it
  Yodeladie, yodeladie
  Frederick & Igor: Roll in it
  Inga:Roll in it
  Come take a hay ride
  And take your breath away ride
  Roll in it
  Roll in ze hay
  Yodeladie,Yodeladie,Yodeladie,
  Yodeladie,Yodeladie,Yodeladie,
  Yodeladie,Yodeladie,Yodeladie,
  Yodeladie,Yodeladie,Ladie,Ladie,Ladie,
  Yodeladie,Yodeladie,Yodeladie,Yodeladie,
  Yodeldee.
  (Howling)
  Frederick: What's that?
  Inga:Vervolves.
  Frederick:Werewolves!
  Igor: THERE! THERE WOLVES!
  Frederick: What?
  Igor:THERE WOLVES!THERE CASTLE!
  Frederick: Why are you talking like that?
  Igor: I DON'T KNOW! I don't know, I don't...I don't
  know.
  I thought you wanted me to.
  Frederick: Well I don't.
  Igor: Hmm. Have it your way. I'm easy.
  Inga: Yodeladie,ho-dee-dae,yodeladie,
  ho-dee-dae,yodel-dee-dae,yodel-dee-dae,
  yodeladie,yodeldee,yodeladie,yodeladie,
  yodeladie,yodeladie,yodel-dee-dae
  Roll in ze dee
  Yodeladie,ho-dee-dae,yodeladie, ho-dee-
  dae,yodeladie,yodeladie,yodeladie,
  yodeldee,yodeladie,yodeladie,yodeladie,
  yodeladie,yodeladie,yodeladie,yodeladie,
  yodeladie,yodeladie,yodeladie,yodeldee.
  Frederick & Igor: So let's roll, roll, roll. We'll all
  roll, roll, roll.
  Inga: Come with me and roll.
  Frederick & Igor:(Sung in unison)Roll in it, roll in
  roll in it, roll in it, roll in it, roll in it.

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  Puttin' On The Ritzshow lyrics

  Puttin' On The Ritz

  If your blue and you don't know where to go to
  why don't you go where fashion sits
  Puttin on the ritz.
  Different types of wear all day coat pants
  with stripes and cut away coats for perfect fits
  Puttin on the Ritz.
  Dressed up like a million dollar trooper
  Trying hard to look like Gary Cooper
  Super-Duper
  Come lets mix where Rockafellers
  walk with sticks or umbrellas
  in thier mits
  Puttin on the Ritz.
  Have you seen the well to do
  Up and down Park Avenue
  On that famous through fare
  With thier noses in the air
  High hats and narrow collars
  White spats and lots of dollars
  Spending every dime
  For a wonderful time.
  If your blue and you don't know where to go to
  why don't you go where fashion sits
  Puttin on the ritz.
  Different types of wear all day coat pants
  with stripes and cut away coats for perfect fits
  Puttin on the Ritz.
  Dressed up like a million dollar trooper
  Trying hard to look like Gary Cooper
  Super-Duper
  Come lets mix where Rockafellers
  walk with sticks or umbrellas
  in thier mits
  Puttin on the Ritz.
  Dressed up like a million dollar trooper
  Trying hard to look like Gary Cooper
  Super-Duper
  If your blue and you don't know where to go to
  why don't you go where fashion sits
  Puttin on the ritz.
  Puttin on the ritz.
  Puttin on the ritz.
  Puttin on the ritz.
  Move.......I want ya to move...
  Got to dance... Got a dance....
  If your blue and you don't know where to go to
  why don't you go where fashion sits
  Puttin on the ritz.

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  Springtime For Hitler Part Ishow lyrics

  Springtime For Hitler Part I

  CHORUS:
  Germany was having trouble
  What a sad, sad story
  Needed a new leader to restore
  Its former glory
  Where, oh, where was he?
  Where could that man be?
  We looked around and then we found
  The man for you and me
  LEAD TENOR STORMTROOPER:
  And now it's...
  Springtime for Hitler and Germany
  Deutschland is happy and gay!
  We're marching to a faster pace
  Look out, here comes the master race!
  Springtime for Hitler and Germany
  Rhineland's a fine land once more!
  Springtime for Hitler and Germany
  Watch out, Europe
  We're going on tour!
  Springtime for Hitler and Germany...
  CHORUS:
  Look, it's springtime
  LEAD TENOR STORMTROOPER:
  Winter for Poland and France
  CHORUS AND STORMTROOPER:
  Springtime for Hitler and Germany!
  CHORUS:
  Springtime! Springtime!
  Springtime! Springtime!
  Springtime! Springtime!
  Springtime! Springtime!
  STORMTROOPER:
  Come on, Germans
  Go into your dance!
  STORMTROOPER "ROLF":
  I was born in Dusseldorf und that is why they call me
  Rolf.
  STORMTROOPER "MEL":
  Don't be stupid, be a smarty, come and join the Nazi
  party!
  ULLA:
  The Fuhrer is coming, the Fuhrer is coming, the Fuhrer
  is coming!
  STORMTROOPER #1:
  Heil Hitler!
  STORMTROOPER #2:
  Heil Hitler!
  LEAD TENOR STORMTROOPER:
  Heil Hitler!
  Springtime for Hitler and Germany
  ALL:

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  Springtime for Hitlershow lyrics

  Springtime for Hitler

  Germany was having trouble, what a sad, sad story
  Needed a new leader to restore its former glory
  Where, Oh where was he? Where could that man be?
  We looked around and then we found
  The man for you and me.
  And now it's..
  Springtime for Hitler and Germany
  Deutschland is happy and gay
  We're marching to a faster pace
  Look out, here comes the master race
  Springtime for Hitler and Germany
  Winter for Poland and France
  Springtime for Hitler and Germany
  Come on, Germans, go into your dance
  I was born in Dusseldorf, and that is why they call me
  Rolf
  Don't be stupid, be a smarty, come and join the Nazi
  party
  Springtime for Hitler and Germany
  Goosestep's the new step today
  bombs falling from the skies again
  Deutschland is on the rise again
  Springtime for Hitler and Germany
  U-boats are sailing once more
  Springtime for Hitler and Germany
  Means that soon we'll be going
  We've got to be going

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  Welcome To Transylvaniashow lyrics

  Welcome To Transylvania

  [Village Quartet]
  Hmmmmm...
  Welcome to Transylvania,
  We're very happy that you're here!
  Welcome to Transylvania,
  We greet you with a mighty cheer!
  Chalujnik!
  [Kemp]
  We're considered both a Death and a Tourist Trap
  [All Five]
  Thanks to all the Frankensteins,
  You put us on the map!
  [Bass]
  So...
  [Village Quartet]
  Welcome to Transylvania
  [Kemp]
  Though vampires suck your blood at night,
  and werewolves prowl in the pale moonlight
  [All Five]
  And zombies have a tendency to roam,
  It's the place that we humbly call Home

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  Prisoners Of Love (broadway)show lyrics

  Prisoners Of Love (broadway)

  CONVICT #1:
  Gotta sing ... sing!
  CONVICT #2:
  Gotta sing ... sing!
  MAX:
  Okay, boys, break's over. Let's take it from the top.
  CONVICT #1:
  This is good! Hey Bloom, put me in for ten grand.
  MAX & CONVICTS:
  Prisoners of love
  Blue skies above
  Can't keep our hearts in jail
  MAX:
  Tempo, fellas!
  Pick up the tempo!
  MAX & CONVICTS:
  Prisoners of love
  Our turtle doves
  LEO:
  Don't forget the balcony!
  MAX & CONVICTS:
  Soon coming 'round with bail
  LEO:
  Sing out, boys! Let 'em hear you in solitary!
  MAX & CONVICTS:
  Oh, you can lock us up
  And lose the key
  But hearts in love
  Are always free!
  Prisoners of love
  Blue skies above
  'Cause we're still prisoners
  MAX:
  Take it home, boys. We open in Leavenworth Saturday
  night.
  MAX & CONVICTS:
  We're still prisoners
  We're still prisoners of love
  PRISON GUARD:
  Hey, Bialystock, Bloom, Liebkind, good news! This just
  came from the governor:
  "Gentlemen, you are hereby granted a full pardon for
  having -
  through song and dance - brought joy and laughter into
  the hearts of
  every murderer, rapist and sex maniac in Sing Sing."
  You're free!
  LEO:
  Free!
  MAX:
  Next stop, Broadway!
  MAX & CONVICTS:
  But hearts in love are always free!
  ULLA & GIRL PRISONERS:
  Prisoners of love
  Blue skies above
  Can't keep our hearts in jail!
  ROGER:
  Can't keep our hearts in jail!
  ULLA & GIRL PRISONERS:
  Prisoners of love
  Our turtle doves
  ROGER:
  Soon coming 'round with bail
  ULLA & GIRL PRISONERS:
  Tote that bale!
  MALE PRISONERS:
  You can lock us up
  and lose the key
  ALL:
  But hearts in love are always free!
  ROGER, ULLA & ALL PRISONERS:
  Prisoners of love
  Blue skies above
  'Cause we're still prisoners...
  We're still prisoners...
  We're still prisoners of love!
  Love!
  Love!
  Love!
  Love!
  Love!
  Love!
  Love!
  Love!
  Love!
  Love!
  Love!
  Love!
  LEO & MAX:
  Leo and Max
  Up off our backs
  Back on the Great White Way!
  Leo and Max
  Back on our tracks
  We're back on top to stay!
  So when we take your money, never fear
  We'll knock Broadway right on its ear
  The cast is great
  The script is swell
  But this we're tellin' you, sirs
  It's just no go, you got no show
  Without the producers!
  We'll never quit
  Hit after hit
  You and me-o
  We guarantee-o
  You're lookin' at Leo
  And Max!!
  ENTIRE ENSEMBLE:

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  You Never Say Good Luck on Opening Nightshow lyrics

  You Never Say Good Luck on Opening Night

  It's bad luck to say "good luck" on opening night
  If you do, I tell you
  It is certain by the curtain
  You are through!
  MAX:
  Good luck!
  CARMEN:
  It's bad luck to say "good luck" on opening night
  Once it's said, you are dead
  You will get the worst reviews
  You've ever read!
  MAX:
  Good luck!
  ROGER:
  Even at the Comedie-Francaise,
  On the opening night they are scared
  "Bon chance, mes amis", no one says
  The only word you ever hear is...
  ROGER, CARMEN & FRANZ:
  Merde!
  MAX:
  Good luck, good luck, good luck
  FRANZ:
  It's verboten, vishing "luck" on opening night
  Take advice, don't think twice
  Or your show will surely end
  Up in the Scheiss!
  MAX:
  Guten lucken.
  CARMEN:
  At the famous La Scala in Milan On opening night it's a
  rule
  "In boccu lupa" they say with elan
  And just for luck they all shout...
  ROGER, CARMEN & FRANZ:
  "Bah fongool!"
  LEO:
  I got it!
  Now I'll never say "good luck" on opening night
  That's the rule, I'm no fool!
  What do I say, I beg?
  ROGER, CARMEN & FRANZ:
  What you say is "break a leg"!
  LEO:
  Break a leg?
  ROGER, CARMEN & FRANZ:
  Yes, break a leg!
  LEO, ROGER, CARMEN & FRANZ:
  If you're clever...
  MAX:
  Good luck!
  LEO, ROGER, CARMEN & FRANZ:
  You'll endeavour
  To never, never, never, never
  Ever, ever, ever say...

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  Mel Brooksshow lyrics

  Mel Brooks

  Well
  hi there people
  you know me
  I used to run a little joint called Germany.
  I was number one
  the people's choice
  And everybody listened to my mighty voice.
  My name is Adolf
  I'm on the mike.
  I'm gonna hip you to the story of the New Third Reich.
  It all began down in Munich town and pretty soon
  The word started gettin' around.
  So I said to Martin Boorman
  I said
  Hey Marty, why don't we throw a little nazi party?
  We had an election
  well
  kinda sorta
  And before you knew it hello
  new order.
  To all those mothers in the fatherland I said
  Achtung, Baby, I got me a plan
  'YVhatcha got Adolf? Whatcha gonna do?"
  I said "how about this one
  World War Two?"
  To be or not to be
  oh baby
  can't you see
  We're gonna take it to the top. You're making history
  And it feels so good to me
  ooh darlin'
  please don't ever stop.
  Don't be stupid; be a smarty
  come on and join the nazi party - party.
  Like humpty dumpty offa that wall
  All the little countries they began to fall
  Holland
  Belgium
  Denmark
  Poland-
  The troops were rockin' and the tanks were rollin'
  We were swingin' along with a song in our hearts.
  And "Deutschland über alles" was making the charts
  We had a new step called a goosestep we were dancing to.
  Well
  it's sorta kinda like a German boogaloo
  I was gettin' what I wanted
  but it wasn't enough.
  So I called the boys
  I said boys
  get though
  Now I surrounded myself with some unusual cats.
  There was skinny little Göbbels and Göring mister fats
  And let's not forget ole Himmler and Hess.
  You'd better believe we made a hell of a mess
  Say Heil - Heil - siegety Heil
  we gonna whip it on the people teutonic style
  To be or not to be
  oh baby
  can't you see
  We're gonna make it to the top. You are our destiny
  This thing was meant to be
  why don't we do it till we drop?
  Say you boots ain't black and shirt ainY brown?
  Well
  get back Jack
  you can't get down. Do it
  Adolf
  do it.
  I drank wine from the Rhine with the finest ladies
  And we did it in the back of my black Mercedes.
  I was on a roll
  I couldn't lose
  then came D-day
  the birth of the blues.
  The Yanks and the Brits started raising cain
  Those guys were the pits
  I was goin' insane.
  People all around me started swallowing pills
  Let's face it
  folks
  we was going downhill.
  Berlin was crumbling
  we was under the gun
  Time to look out for number one.
  So I grabbed a blonde and a case of beer
  Say the Russians are commin'
  lets get out of here.
  To be or not to be
  oh honey
  can't you see
  We had to take it to the top. You sure made history
  And it felt so good to me
  oh schatze
  Please don't ever stop.
  Auf wiedersehn
  good to've seen ya
  I got a one way ticket to Argentina.
  To be or not to be
  oh baby
  can't you see
  We've got to take it to the top. You're makin' history
  And it feels so good to me
  Why don't we do it till we drop?
  We have ways of making you dance . . .

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  Deep Loveshow lyrics

  Deep Love

  [Elizabeth]
  (spoken) Penny for your thoughts.
  You know, until now my life has been nothing but a
  meaningless world of silly parties.
  But I always sensed that something was missing. Love.
  And I'm not talkin about puppy love either. A one night
  stand love or
  cheap love. No, what I'm talkin about is-oh, what's the
  word I'm looking for-ah, yes.
  (sung) Deep love. At last I've found deep love.
  Been searching for deep love, for all of my life. Long
  love. Incredibley long
  love. A constant and strong love, that rids me of
  strife. Firm love.
  A gentle, but firm love. An unyeilding firm love, for
  this my heart cries.
  Deep love. At last I've found deep love. Now I will
  keep love forever inside.
  [Monster]
  aaarrrggghhh!
  [Elizabeth]
  (giggles) Again? Oh, you're incouragable, aren't you,
  you ol' zipper neck.
  Hmmm, well alright. Seven always has been my lucky
  number.
  Come here you great big hot monster!
  [Monster]
  AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
  [Elizabeth]
  (laughs)
  Wh--what? What is it, what is the matter, is it--is it
  that music? Oh, forget it.
  That's just some poor lonely fool blowin his french
  horn.
  (monster groans)
  Wh--where are you going? You're walking out on me? Me?!
  Oh, you men are all alike.
  Five or six quick ones and you're off with the boys to
  boast and brag.
  WELL YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!!!
  Oh, I think I love him.
  (sung) Deep love. At last I found deep love.
  Now I will keep love deeper and deeper and deeper and
  deeper and deeper and

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  Finale Ultimoshow lyrics

  Finale Ultimo

  Monster:
  Frederick, I Realize it's a rather shabby thing for a
  chap to do to his creator, but I'm afraid that I´ve
  fallen madly in love with your fiancé.
  Elizabeth:
  And I with him!
  Monster:
  DEEP LOVE, AT LAST SHE FOUND DEEP LOVE,
  BEEN SEARCHING FOR DEEP LOVE
  FOR ALL OF HER LIFE!
  HARD LOVE, A DIAMOND-LIKE HARD LOVE,
  YOU CAUGHT ME OFF-GUARD LOVE,
  WILL YOU BE MY WIFE?
  Elizabeth:
  Yes!
  Monster & Villagers:
  DEEP LOVE, AT LAST WE'VE (THEY'VE)
  FOUND DEEP LOVE
  NOW WE (THEY) WILL KEEP LOVE FOREVER INSIDE.
  Hermit:
  SOMEONE, SEND ME SOMEONE
  I NEED SOMEONE WHO WILL CARE
  Frau Blucher:
  Excuse me, I have to leave.
  I got a blind date.
  Igor:
  Doctor, Creature, Everyone,
  It's a miracle! It's gone! My hump! It's gone!
  Wait...Nope, it's in the middle.
  Villagers:
  Awe! oh!
  Dracula:
  Good Evening. I am thinking of relocating to
  the Transilvania area. Perhaps to purchase a castle.
  Like that one there on the hill.
  Frederick:
  I´m sorry sir, but that castle is not for sale.
  It's belongs to me and I'll be linving in it
  from now on because...
  I'M GOING TO JOIN THE FAM'LY BUS'NESS,
  LEARN THE FAM'LY TRADE,
  MAKE ANOTHER MONSTER
  Monster:
  Growl!
  Frederick:
  MAKE THE WORLD AFRAID!
  WE CAN TAKE A HAYRIDE
  WHEN WE'RE ON OUR HONEYMOON....
  Inga:
  Honeymoon?
  Frederick:
  WE'LL MAKE THE SON OF FRANKENSTEIN
  THE SEQUEL'S COMING SOON!
  Inga:
  Darling, if you gave the monster your
  brilliant mind, what did he give you in return?
  Woof!
  All:
  WELCOME TO TRANSYLVANIA
  WHERE BLESSINGS FALL FROM UP ABOVE
  WHERE EVEN MONSTERS FALL IN LOVE
  THE MOON WILL ALWAYS SHINE

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  Heil Myselfshow lyrics

  Heil Myself

  ROGER:
  Heil myself
  Heil to me
  I'm the kraut
  Who's out to change our history
  Heil myself
  Raise your hand
  There's no greater
  Dictator in the land!
  Everything I do, I do for you!
  CHORUS:
  Yes, you do!
  ROGER:
  If you're looking for a war, here's World War Two!
  Heil myself
  Raise your beer
  CHORUS:
  Jawohl!
  ROGER:
  Ev'ry hotsy-totsy Nazi stand and cheer
  CHORUS:
  Hooray!
  Ev'ry hotsy-totsy Nazi...
  ROGER:
  Heil myself!
  CHORUS:
  Ev'ry hotsy-totsy Nazi...
  ROGER:
  Heil myself!
  CHORUS:
  Ev'ry hotsy-totsy Nazi...
  ROGER:
  ...stand and cheer!
  THE HEIL-LOs:
  He's the Fuhrer. Let's give our salute and...
  ROGER:
  Hi hayde hidey hoedy!

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  I Wanna Be a Producershow lyrics

  I Wanna Be a Producer

  THE ACCOUNTANTS:
  Unhappy...unhappy..very unhappy
  Unhappy...unhappy...
  Very very very very very
  Very very unhappy
  LEO:
  I spend my life accounting
  With figures and such
  THE ACCOUNTANTS:
  Unhappy
  LEO:
  To what is my life amounting
  It figures, not much
  THE ACCOUNTANTS:
  Unhappy
  LEO:
  I have a secret desire
  Hiding deep in my soul
  It sets my heart afire
  To see me in this role
  I wanna be a producer
  With a hit show on Broadway
  I wanna be a producer
  Lunch at Sardi's every day
  I wanna be a producer
  Sport a top hat and a cane
  I wanna be a producer
  And drive those chorus girls insane!
  I wanna be a producer
  And sleep until half-past two
  I wanna be a producer
  And say, "You, you, you, not you"
  I wanna be a producer
  Wear a tux on op'ning nights!
  I wanna be a producer
  And see my name "Leo Bloom" in lights!
  CHORUS GIRLS:
  He wants to be a producer
  Of a great big Broadway smash
  He wants to be a producer
  Ev'ry pocket stuffed with cash
  He wants to be a producer
  Pinch our cheeks 'til we cry
  CHORUS GIRL #1:
  Ouch!
  CHORUS GIRL #2:
  Eek!
  CHORUS GIRL #3:
  Ooh!
  CHORUS GIRL #4:
  CHORUS GIRL #5:
  Ahh!
  CHORUS GIRL #6:
  Yes!
  CHORUS GIRLS:
  He wants to be a producer
  With a great big casting couch! OOH!
  LEO:
  I wanna be...
  CHORUS GIRLS:
  He wants to be...
  LEO:
  I wanna be...
  CHORUS GIRLS:
  He wants to be...
  LEO:
  I wanna be the greatest, grandest
  And most fabulous producer in the world
  CHORUS GIRLS:
  He wants to dine with a duchess and a duke
  LEO:
  I just gotta be a producer
  Drink champagne until I puke
  CHORUS GIRLS:
  Drink champagne 'til he pukes!
  LEO:
  I wanna be a producer
  Show the world just what I've got
  I'm gonna put on shows
  That will enthrall 'em
  CHORUS GIRLS & LEO:
  Read my name in Winchell's column!
  LEO:
  I wanna be a producer
  'Cause it's everything I'm not
  THE ACCOUNTANTS:
  Unhappy...unhappy...
  LEO:
  I wanna be a producer...
  Wait a minut x 2 Hold everything! x 2
  Mr. Bialystock was right!
  There is a lot more to me than there is to me!
  Stop the world, I wanna get on!
  I'm gonna be a producer
  GIRLS:
  He's gonna be a producer

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  Frederick's Soliloquyshow lyrics

  Frederick's Soliloquy

  [Kemp]
  Do you have any last words before we string you up, Dr.
  Fronkensteen?
  [Frederick]
  Just this...
  Though my time on earth is done,
  Though I face this angry crowd
  Though I'm hated and despised
  Of one thing I can say I'm proud
  This is truly mine
  I'm a man who has no shame
  I'm shouting out my family name

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  He Vas My Boyfriendshow lyrics

  He Vas My Boyfriend

  [Frau Blucher]
  Love comes when you least suspect it,
  love dances in on a whim,
  I thought maybe I could direct it,
  But I never expected...
  A guuy like him.
  He was a bully und a brute,
  he vas as crazy as a coot,
  still I didn't give a hoot,
  He vas my boyfriend!
  With ev'ry voman he vould flirt,
  He alvays treated me like dirt,
  But I vas happy to be hurt,
  He vas my boyfriend!
  I vas as pure as a virgin meadow,
  lying with Vicotr in the gloam.
  Then he turned to me, that charmer, whispered, "Let's
  play farmer."
  And plowed me 'til the cows came home!
  He vas a monster and a beast,
  His midnight bangings never ceased,
  it didn't faze me in the least,
  He vas my boyfriend!
  (spoken)
  I'll never forget the first time I met Victor. It vas
  on the village green,
  at the annual bock beer festival, where every beer cost
  a bock.
  I vas an innocent young lamb and he was a dirty old
  goat.
  Ve vere made for each other.
  All of a sudden, he took out his paraphernalia and
  shouted,
  "Let's play croquet!", and off to the field ve vent.
  He carried his hoops and mallets and I carried his
  balls.
  What a festival! Fun and games all day long. Archery,
  badminton, potato sack.
  Victor won the three-legged race...all by himself. It
  vas love at first sight.
  (sung)
  He vas the one I gave my heart to,
  but ve never wed even so,
  If I mentioned wedlock,
  he'd put me in a headlock!
  Vhen I asked to be his wife,
  he stabbed me with a kitchen knife,
  Ach, where did the good times go?
  If he had an angry fit,
  I vas the first thing that he'd hit,
  but I didn't give a shit...

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  Keep It Gayshow lyrics

  Keep It Gay

  MAX:
  Did you get a chance yet to read Springtime for Hitler?
  ROGER:
  Read it? I devoured it! And I find it remarkable,
  REMARKABLE!
  MAX:
  Then you'll do it?
  ROGER:
  Do it? Of course not.
  It's not my kind of thing
  I mean, Max please. World War II?
  Oooo. Too dark. Too depressing.
  The theatre's so obsessed
  With dramas so depressed
  It's hard to sell a ticket on Broadway
  Shows should be more pretty
  Shows should be more witty
  Shows should be more...
  What's the word?
  LEO:
  Gay?
  ROGER:
  Exactly!
  No matter what you do on the stage
  Keep it light, keep it bright, keep it gay!
  Whether it's murder, mayhem or rage
  Don't complain, it's a pain
  Keep it gay!
  CARMEN:
  People want laughter when they see a show
  The last thing they're after's a litany of woe
  ROGER & CARMEN:
  A happy ending will pep up your play...
  ROGER:
  Oedipus won't bomb...
  CARMEN:
  If he winds up with Mom!
  Keep it gay!
  ROGER:
  Keep it gay...
  ROGER & CARMEN:
  Keep it gay!
  MAX:
  Couldn't agree more. And you have our blessings, Roger,
  to make Springtime for Hitler just as gay as anyone
  could possibly want.
  So, c'mon, do it for us, please.
  ROGER:
  I'm sorry, Max, but it's simply not my cup of tea.
  Still, fair is fair, perhaps I should ask my production
  team what they think.
  MAX:
  You're production team. Who are they?
  Roger:
  You'll see. They all live here.
  Guys! Come say hello to Bialystock and Bloom!
  This is my set designer, Bryan.
  BRYAN:
  Keep it mad, keep it glad, keep it gay!
  ROGER:
  And here's my costume designer, Kevin.
  KEVIN:
  Hello...
  Keep it happy, keep it snappy, keep it gay!
  BRYAN & KEVIN:
  We're clever, creative
  It's our job to see
  That ev'rything's perfect for Mr. De Bris!
  ROGER:
  Scott, my choreographer...
  SCOTT:
  Hi there...
  ROGER:
  And, ah, finally, last and least, my lighting designer,
  Shirley Markowitz.
  SHIRLEY:
  Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay
  ROGER:
  Now, they all just read Springtime. What do you think
  fellas?
  BRYAN:
  It needs glamour...
  KEVIN:
  And blitz...
  SCOTT:
  It needs sequence...
  SHIRLEY:
  And Tits.
  Roger. I think that Springtime for Hitler
  would be a marvelous opportunity for you. I mean, up to
  now,
  you've always been associated with, dare I say it,
  frivolous musicals.
  ROGER:
  You're right. I've often felt as though I've been
  throwing my life away
  on silly little entertainments. Deopy showgirls in
  gooey gowns. It's enough to make you heave.
  Nonetheless, I'm sorry, Max.
  I just couldn't do Springtime for Hitler
  MAX:
  Why not? Think of the respect.
  ROGER:
  MAX:
  Think of the prestige.
  ROGER:
  No, no, no.
  MAX:
  Think of ... the Tony!
  CARMEN & THE TEAM:
  Tony...Tony...Tony...Tony...Tony!
  ROGER:
  Ngaaaaaahhhhh!
  MAX:
  What's the matter?
  LEO:
  Is he all right?
  CARMEN:
  He's having a stroke...
  MAX & LEO:
  What?
  CARMEN:
  ...of genius!
  ROGER:
  I see it! I see it! At last. The chance to do something
  important!
  CARMEN:
  Roger de Bris presents History!
  ROGER:
  Of course that whole second act has to be rewritten.
  They're losing the war? Excuse me. It's too downbeat.
  CARMEN:
  Roger de Bris presents History!
  ROGER:
  But maybe...it's a wile idea, but it just might work...
  I see a line of beautiful girls
  Dressed as storm troopers, each one a gem
  With leather boots and whips on their hips
  It's risque, dare I say, S & M!
  CARMEN & THE TEAM:
  Love it!
  ROGER:
  I see German soldiers dancing through France
  Played by chorus boys in very tight pants
  And wait, there's more - they win the war!
  And the dances they do will be daring and new
  Turn-turn-kick-turn, turn-turn-kick-turn
  One-two-three-kick-turn!
  Keep it sassy, keep it classy, keep it...
  MAX:
  That is brilliant. Brilliant! Roger, I speak for Mr.
  Bloom and myself
  when I say that you are the only man in the world who
  can do justice
  to Springtime for Hitler. Will you do it, please?
  LEO:
  Please.
  ROGER:
  Wait a minute. This is a very big decision. It might
  effect the course of my entire life.
  I shall have to think about it...I'll do it. I'll do
  Sabu, champagne!
  ROGER, CARMEN & THE TEAM:
  If at the end you want them to cheer
  Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay
  Whether it's Hamlet, Othello or Lear
  Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay
  CARMEN:
  Comedy's joyous, a constant delight
  Dramas annoy us...
  ROGER & CARMEN:
  ...and ruin our night.
  ROGER, CARMEN & THE TEAM:
  So keep your Strindbergs and Ibsens at bay...
  ROGER:
  I'll sign...
  KEVIN:
  Sign...
  BRYAN:
  Sign...
  SCOTT:
  Sign...
  CARMEN:
  Sign...
  SHIRLEY:
  Sign...
  MAX & LEO:
  Sign...
  ROGER:
  Roger Elizabeth De Bris!
  ALL:

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  Life Lifeshow lyrics

  Life Life

  FREDERICK FRANKENSTEIN
  (Spoken)
  So, now we hurl the gauntlet of science into the
  frightful face of death its self
  (Sung)
  Ever since the beginning of time
  When life arose from prime evils line
  Death has ruled without question
  Death has Ruled supreme
  Without the least suggestion
  That man could foil it’s scheme
  But now we call on science
  To end deaths evil reign
  We shout in brave defiance
  This soul shall live again
  Life, life, let my creature live
  Life, life, it’s life that you must give
  Fate, fate, through this storm and strife
  Fate, fate, give my creature life
  Tear the night asunder
  Cast your light upon the dark
  Lightning bolts and thunder will ignite a mortal spark
  Life, life, air the break of dawn
  Life, life, let my dream be born
  Fate, fate, through this storm and strife
  Fate, fate, give my creature life
  Give my creaure life
  (spoken)
  This is it! Igor, throw the first switch
  IGOR
  Yes Master
  FREDERICK FRANKENSTEIN
  (sung)
  Life, life, give my creature life
  Give my creaure life
  (spoken)
  Now, throw the secoond switch
  IGOR
  Yes Master
  COMPANY
  Give the creature life
  FREDERICK FRANKENSTEIN
  (sung)
  Tear the night asunder
  Cast your light upon the dark
  Lightning bolts and thunder will ignite a mortal spark
  (spoken)
  Now, Igor, throw the third switch
  IGOR
  Not the third switch
  FREDERICK FRANKENSTEIN
  Yes the third switch, throw it damn you throw it
  IGOR
  Yes master
  FREDERICK FRANKENSTEIN
  Inga, now!
  (sung)
  Give me life!
  Air the break of dawn
  Let my dream be born
  Through this storm and strife
  Through the wind swept air
  Listen to my prayer
  Stir its frame
  Let breathing start
  Let me hear his beating heart

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  Its Good To Be Kingshow lyrics

  Its Good To Be King

  Now get down people
  And listen to me
  Gonna tell you how I made history
  You can call me Louis
  I'm the king of France
  Check out my story
  While you do your dance
  Now it's seventeen hundred and eighty nine
  The peasants were starving
  But I was fine
  We were hanging out
  Down in old Versailles
  That's the weekend pad of my queen and I
  In the alleys of Paris
  They was eating rats
  But it was fillet mignon
  For the aristocrats
  There was Dukes and Counts and
  Barons and Earls
  I gave them the title
  But I kept the girl
  Blond, redhead, wild, brunette
  Ladies in wait
  I didn't wait to get
  There was truffles for breakfast
  Toast for brunch
  The lion of the folley's version for lunch...
  Ooh yes it's good to be the king
  Ooh la la
  Gee but it's good to be the king
  Say it girls
  You can be sure about one thing
  Ooh la la
  Mais oui, it's good to be the king
  It's good to be the king
  Well the palace was rocking
  And we were doing it good
  When we heard there was some trouble
  In the neighborhood
  I wasn't too worried
  No big deal
  We step out of line
  Jack, you're near the Bastille
  The party kept spinning
  All day an dall night
  The champagne was flowing
  We were feeling all right
  They were screaming for breath
  Things started to shake
  But Marie Antoinette said,
  "We'll let 'em eat cake."
  Now the rapper wouldn't have it
  They was angry and beat
  They built a big old razor
  Called the Guillotine
  Then the people all shouted
  We'll have all day
  Down with dirty war
  Give us Perrier
  I said that in the war things might get screwy
  But they'd never lay a finger
  On good king Louis
  Just keep your cool
  Don't fret, don't freak
  Say hey
  Say what
  Say magnifico
  Ooh yes it's good to be the king
  Ooh la la
  Gee but it's good to be the king
  Your fantasy is my reality
  You can be sure about one thing
  Ooh la la
  Mais oui, it's good to be the king
  It's good to be the king
  Night and day
  Vous, vous voulez
  Well they broke down the gate
  In one massive assault
  And the party came to a grinding halt
  They took the midgets and the freakies
  With the girls in tote
  And a voice said
  Louis, it's time to go
  They put my neck on the block
  They took off my wig
  And it occured to me
  This was the end of the gig
  They asked me did I have any
  Last words to say
  Well I raised my head
  And I hollered hey
  Ooh yes it's good to be the king
  Ooh la la
  Gee but it's good to be the king
  Well c'est la vie
  Make that one more
  You can be sure about one thing
  Ooh la la
  Mais oui, it's good to be the king
  It's good to be the king
  Bonjour
  Ooh la la
  Ooh yes, it's good to be the king
  Well it was good while it lasted

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  Join The Family Businessshow lyrics

  Join The Family Business

  [Victor]
  We've been the pride of Romania
  since Twelve-O-One,
  Passed on for generations,
  Father to Son
  Descended from gypsies,
  as proud as we can be.
  Don't risk my curse, it could be worse
  Embrace your fam'ly tree!
  Join the fam'ly bus'ness
  Learn the family trade
  Make yourself a monster
  Make the world afraid!
  Join the fam'ly bus'ness,
  You must take the fam'ly name!
  Follow in our footsteps
  and you'll win eternal fame!
  The Roqueforts are celebrated
  for their Roquefort cheese,
  the Rothschilds are famous for their wines
  Hersheys have their choc'lates
  and Liptons have their teas
  But when it comes to making monsters, You can't beat
  the Frankensteins!
  Join the fam'ly bus'ness
  Rob a grave or two,
  Stop the shop from closing,
  It all depends on you!
  Uphold the fam'ly honor,
  you must toe the fam'ly line,
  Join the fam'ly bus'ness
  Join the fam'ly bus'ness
  Join the fam'ly bus'ness
  For your name is Frankenstein!
  Meet your family!
  [All]
  Join the fam'ly bus'ness
  Show some fam'ly pride
  [Men]
  Make yourself a monster...
  [Women]
  And then you'll make his bride!
  [Victor]
  Listen to your Great, Great, Great Grandfather Mordecai
  [Mordecai]
  Join the fam'ly bus'ness
  If you don't want to die!
  [All]
  As you know predestination
  From day the of your creation
  Has determined your vocation
  That's a fact.
  [1st solo]
  Because you are a Frankenstein
  [2nd solo]
  You have no choice
  [3rd solo]
  You can't decline
  [4th solo]
  So show some spine
  [All]
  It's time to sign the fam'ly pact
  This is your fate
  Become a Frankenstein before it's too late!
  We know you won't regret it,
  You should express your willingness
  Why not acquiesce, reassess,
  You're under stress
  [Victor]
  Just relax and make a serum
  Come up with a brilliant theorem,
  take you knife,
  create a life
  [All]
  It ain't no fuss!
  [Victor]
  Join the fam'ly enterprise,
  Best be prudent, best be wise!
  Time to open up your eyes
  Join the fam'ly bus'ness!
  [All]
  Join the fam'ly enterprise,
  Best be prudent, best be wise!
  Time to open up your eyes
  Join the fam'ly bus'ness!
  Join the fam'ly enterprise,
  Best be prudent, best be wise
  Time to open up your eyes
  Come on, come clean
  Don't make a scene,
  Your name's not Fronk-en-steen!
  Join the family business
  Learn the family trade
  Make yourself a monster
  Make the world afraid
  This is one position that you never can resign
  [Victor]
  Do not make a fuss,
  There's nothing to discuss
  You must be one of us
  [All]

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  We Can Do Itshow lyrics

  We Can Do It

  MAX:
  Don't you see, Bloom. Darling Bloom, glorious Bloom.
  It's so simple.
  Step One: we find the worst play ever written.
  Step Two: we hire the worst director in town.
  Step Three: I raise two million dollars...
  LEO:
  Two?
  MAX:
  Yes! One for me, one for you. There's a lot of little
  old ladies out there.
  Step Four: We hire the worst actors in New York and
  open on Broadway.
  And before you can say Step Five, we close on Broadway,
  take our two million and go to Rio.
  LEO:
  Rio? Nah, that'd never work.
  MAX:
  Oh ye of little faith.
  What did Lewis say to Clark
  When everything looked bleak?
  What did Sir Edmund say to Tenzing
  As they struggled toward Everest's peak?
  What did Washington say to his troops
  As they crossed the Delaware
  I'm sure you're well aware...
  LEO:
  What'd they say?
  MAX:
  We can do it, we can do it
  We can do it, me and you
  We can do it, we can do it
  We can make our dreams come true
  Everything you've ever wanted
  Is just waiting to be had
  Beautiful girls, wearing nothing but pearls
  Caressing you, undressing you
  And driving you mad
  We can do it, we can do it
  This is not the time to shirk
  We can do it, you won't rue it
  Say goodbye to petty clerk
  Hi, producer: yes, producer
  I mean you, sir, go beserk!
  We can do it, we can do it
  And I know it's gonna work
  Whatta ye say, Bloom?
  LEO:
  What do I say
  Finally a chance to be a Broadway producer!
  What do I say?
  Finally a chance to make my dreams come true, sir!
  What do I say, what do I say
  Here's what I say to you, sir...
  I can't do it, I can't do it
  I can't do it, that's not me
  I'm a loser, I'm a coward
  I'm a chicken, don't you see?
  When it comes to wooing women
  There's a few things that I lack
  Beautiful girls, wearing nothing but pearls...
  Cashing me, embracing me
  I'd have an attack
  MAX:
  Why, you miserable, cowardly, wretched little
  caterpillar!
  Don't you ever want to become a butterfly?
  Don't you want to spread your wings and flap your way
  to glory?
  MAX:
  We can do it
  We can do it
  We can grab that holy grail!
  We can do it
  We can do it
  Drink champagne, not ginger ale
  Come on, Leo
  Can't you see-o ...
  LEO:
  Mr. Bialystock
  Please stop the song
  You've got me wrong
  I'll say "so long"
  I'm not as strong
  A person as you think
  Mr. Bialystock
  Just take a look
  I'm not a crook
  I'm just a shnook
  The bottom line
  Is that I stink!
  I...can't...
  Do...it!
  LEO:
  You see Rio, I see jail!
  MAX:
  We can do it!
  LEO:
  I can't do it!
  MAX:
  We can do it!
  LEO:
  I cannot, cannot, cannot
  'Cause I know it's gonna fail
  MAX:
  We can do it!
  MAX:
  I know it cannot fail
  LEO:

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  Transylvania Maniashow lyrics

  Transylvania Mania

  Igor:
  Have you heard about the mania
  if not then let me explain t'ya
  Yes sir,
  it's the Transylvania mania.
  Whether you're in Ruritania
  Or a dance hall in Albania
  Yes sir,
  it's the Transylvania mania.
  Everybody who's been viewing it can't resist it's
  appeal.
  Everybody's out there doing it, millionaire and
  schlemiel.
  So join the fun, lets all be zany-a
  Even Liths in Lithuania love it, it's the latest rage.
  Lose the blues and don't complain-ia
  hit the dance floor feel no pain-ia
  Love it
  do the Transylvania mania.
  Frankenstein:
  Just accept it don't refrain-ia.
  Inga:
  Don't resist it's all in vain-ia
  Igor:
  Come on kids lets raise some Cain-ia
  Igor, Frankenstein and Inga:
  Yes sir
  Yes sir
  it's the latest craze.
  DANCE BREAK
  Frankenstein:
  It's the cherry pie without the pits
  Inga:
  It's the weekend spent in Biarritz.
  Igor:
  It's all the rage with the french and brits.
  All:
  The Transylvania mania.
  Frankenstein:
  It It's the newest quip from Algonquin wits
  Inga:
  It's the winning horse that never quits
  Igor:
  It's the Paprikash with an ice cold Schlitz.
  All:
  The Transylvania mania.
  Do the Transylvania mania.
  It's southern fried with a side of grits.
  It's gentiles, Jews and jesuits
  Inga and Igor:
  it's a etude played by Horowitz
  Frankenstein:
  It's Irving Berlin's Puttin' on the Ritz!
  DANCE BREAK
  All:
  Rich and poor are also chewing it in hotels or huts
  even dogs are also doing it, pedigrees and mutts.
  All the devils in Tasmania shake their tails and go
  insane-ia.
  Love it, it's the latest rage.
  Grab a steamship or a plane-ia
  To the heart of old Roumania
  Love it, yeah you're gonna love it
  Do the transylvania mania-AHHHH
  (Monster breaks in)
  Frankenstein (Spoken):
  What have I done? What have I done?
  All:

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  Together Againshow lyrics

  Together Again

  [Igor]
  (spoken)
  Oh, the fantasic things we'll do.
  It'll be like old times. You and me.
  Right up there with the world's greatest pairs!
  (sung)
  Like Laurel and Hardy,
  like Coke and Baccardi
  Like Juliet and Romeo,
  Ebb and Flow,
  To and Fro,
  Together, Together again...
  Together again for the first time,
  We've only met in a dream!
  Up until now it's been the worst time,
  but now that you're here,
  we're a team!
  Together again for the first time,
  haven't a woe or a care
  No longer a bad and accursed time
  It's easy to see, you have to agree
  We're destined to be a great pair!
  All of my life I've been stoogin' around,
  nothin' to do, at my loss.
  All of my life I've been stoogin' around
  But what good is a stooge
  If He ain't got a boss?!?!
  Together again for the first time,
  back on the track to renown
  We're gonna thrill 'em,
  We're gonna kill 'em
  You'll be the teacher,
  We'll make a new creature,
  and scare the bloomin' daylights right out of this
  town!
  (spoken)
  [Frederick]
  No, stop it! Stop it! You don't understand.
  I'll only be here for a few days, to settle my
  grandfather's estate, and then
  I'm heading straight back to New York. No laboratories,
  no creatures.
  [Igor]
  Bet you change your mind, master.
  C'mon, join in a chorus, it's fun!
  [Frederick]
  My dear Igor,
  I happen to be the Dean of Anatomy at a world-renown
  School of Medicine.
  Although, I do sing a bit. And was,
  in fact, a Whiffenpoof at Yale.
  [Igor]
  A Wiffenpoof, wow! C'mon doc, nobody's around!
  [Frederick]
  Well, nobody is around...what the hell!
  (sung)
  Together again for the first time!
  Haven't a woe or a care!
  [Igor]
  Together again for the first time
  Haven't a woe or a care!
  This is the best time
  [Frederick]
  No longer a bad and accursed time,
  It's easy to see
  [Igor]
  You have to agree
  [Igor and Frederick]
  We're destined to be a great pair!
  [Frederick]
  May I?
  [Igor]
  Take it!
  [Frederick]
  All of my life, I've been bossing around, mean and
  alone like a Scrooge.
  All of my life I've been bossing around,
  But what good is a boss if he ain't got a Stooge?!
  (spoken)
  Oh, I'm sorry, I don't wish to embarrass you, but I am
  a rather brilliant surgeon.
  Perhaps I could help you with that hump.
  [Igor]
  What hump?
  [Both]
  Together again for the first time,
  We're only met in a dream
  [Frederick]
  Like Ginger and Freddie
  [Igor]
  Macdonald and Eddy
  [Frederick]
  Like San Juan and Teddy
  [Igor]
  Or Meatballs and Spaghetti!
  [Both]
  But the pair that we cry for
  The pair that we sigh for
  The pair that we die for
  is Fron-kon-steen and Eye-gore,
  For the first time
  together again!
  Together again for the first time,
  We've only met in a dream
  [Frederick]
  Like Gimbel and Macy
  [Igor]
  Like Hepburn and Tracy
  [Frederick]
  Like Lombard and Gable
  [Igor]
  Like good ol' Cain and Abel!
  [Both]
  For t he first time,
  Together again!

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  To Be Or Not To Be (the Hitler Rap)show lyrics

  To Be Or Not To Be (the Hitler Rap)

  Well
  hi there people
  you know me
  I used to run a little joint called Germany.
  I was number one
  the people's choice
  And everybody listened to my mighty voice.
  My name is Adolf
  I'm on the mike.
  I'm gonna hip you to the story of the New Third Reich.
  It all began down in Munich town and pretty soon
  The word started gettin' around.
  So I said to Martin Boorman
  I said
  Hey Marty, why don't we throw a little nazi party?
  We had an election
  well
  kinda sorta
  And before you knew it hello
  new order.
  To all those mothers in the fatherland I said
  Achtung, Baby, I got me a plan
  'YVhatcha got Adolf? Whatcha gonna do?"
  I said "how about this one
  World War Two?"
  To be or not to be
  oh baby
  can't you see
  We're gonna take it to the top. You're making history
  And it feels so good to me
  ooh darlin'
  please don't ever stop.
  Don't be stupid; be a smarty
  come on and join the nazi party - party.
  Like humpty dumpty offa that wall
  All the little countries they began to fall
  Holland
  Belgium
  Denmark
  Poland-
  The troops were rockin' and the tanks were rollin'
  We were swingin' along with a song in our hearts.
  And "Deutschland über alles" was making the charts
  We had a new step called a goosestep we were dancing to.
  Well
  it's sorta kinda like a German boogaloo
  I was gettin' what I wanted
  but it wasn't enough.
  So I called the boys
  I said boys
  get though
  Now I surrounded myself with some unusual cats.
  There was skinny little Göbbels and Göring mister fats
  And let's not forget ole Himmler and Hess.
  You'd better believe we made a hell of a mess
  Say Heil - Heil - siegety Heil
  we gonna whip it on the people teutonic style
  To be or not to be
  oh baby
  can't you see
  We're gonna make it to the top. You are our destiny
  This thing was meant to be
  why don't we do it till we drop?
  Say you boots ain't black and shirt ainY brown?
  Well
  get back Jack
  you can't get down. Do it
  Adolf
  do it.
  I drank wine from the Rhine with the finest ladies
  And we did it in the back of my black Mercedes.
  I was on a roll
  I couldn't lose
  then came D-day
  the birth of the blues.
  The Yanks and the Brits started raising cain
  Those guys were the pits
  I was goin' insane.
  People all around me started swallowing pills
  Let's face it
  folks
  we was going downhill.
  Berlin was crumbling
  we was under the gun
  Time to look out for number one.
  So I grabbed a blonde and a case of beer
  Say the Russians are commin'
  lets get out of here.
  To be or not to be
  oh honey
  can't you see
  We had to take it to the top. You sure made history
  And it felt so good to me
  oh schatze
  Please don't ever stop.
  Auf wiedersehn
  good to've seen ya
  I got a one way ticket to Argentina.
  To be or not to be
  oh baby
  can't you see
  We've got to take it to the top. You're makin' history
  And it feels so good to me
  Why don't we do it till we drop?
  We have ways of making you dance . . .

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  There's Nothing Like A Show On Broadwayshow lyrics

  There's Nothing Like A Show On Broadway

  LEO:
  The overture is over
  The curtain starts to rise
  You're suddenly in glover
  You can't believe your eyes
  You're sitting on the aisle
  You break into a smile
  Why this magic feeling?
  And then you realise
  That there is
  Nothing like a show on Broadway
  Nothing like a Broadway show
  Hearts will skip a beat on Broadway
  If you're feeling blue
  I'm telling you
  That's the place to go
  Movie's drag their endings sag
  TV's just a bore
  So hit the street
  And move your feet to the place we all adore.
  Because there's
  Nothing like a show on Broadway
  There's nothing like a Broadway show
  MAX:
  It's often been said
  The theatre is dead
  The critics repeat it en masse
  But the theatre's alive
  It's gonna survive
  Although it's a pain in the ass.
  You waited forever
  And finally got tickets
  To get to your seat you gotta cross pickets.
  The guy to your right is frightfully tight
  And the guy to your left appears to have rickets.
  The music's yuck
  The lyrics suck
  The casting is all wrong
  And when you reach the bathroom
  The line is five miles long.
  LEO:
  But still
  There's nothing like a show on Broadway.
  LEO AND MAX:
  There's nothing like a Broadway show.
  MAX;
  You swear you'll never go again.
  It's simply not worthwile
  LEO:
  You make that vow
  and then somehow
  LEO AND MAX:
  You're back there on the aisle.
  That's why there's
  Nothing like a show on Broadway
  LEO:
  There's nothing like a Broadway show
  MAX:
  Til you're in movies
  LEO:
  There's nothing like a Broadway show
  MAX:
  And though it is expensive at a hundred bucks a throw
  LEO AND MAX;
  There's nothing...

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  The King of Broadwayshow lyrics

  The King of Broadway

  MAX:
  I used to be the king, the king of old Broadway
  The best of ev'rything was mine to have each day
  I always had the biggest hits
  The biggest bathrooms at the Ritz
  My showgirls had the biggest tits!
  I never was the pits in any way!
  WORKMAN, BUM, BAG LADY:
  We believe you, thousands wouldn't
  We believe you, ev'ry word
  We believe you, thousands couldn't
  We believe each word we've heard
  MAX:
  I used to be the king...
  WORKMAN, BUM, BAG LADY:
  The King?
  MAX:
  The king of old Broadway...
  BLIND VIOLINIST:
  It's good to be the king!
  MAX:
  My praises they would sing
  A Ziegfeld so they'd say
  My shows were always filled with class
  The best champagnes would fill my glass
  My lap was filled with gorgeous ass
  You couldn't call me crass in any way!
  WORKMAN, BUM, BAG LADY, VIOLINIST, USHERETTES, NUNS,
  STREET CLEANER:
  We believe you, thousands wouldn't
  We believe you, ev'ry word
  We believe you, thousands couldn't
  We believe each word we've heard
  MAX:
  There was a time
  When I was young and gay...
  But straight
  There was a time
  When I was bold
  There was a time
  When each and ev'ry play I touched
  Would turn to gold
  CHORUS:
  There was a time
  He wore the finest clothes
  His shoes were always new
  Ahh!
  MAX:
  Now I wear a rented tux
  That's two weeks overdue!
  CHORUS:
  Poor Bialy, what a shmoozer
  Poor Bialy, what a shame
  Poor Bialy, what a loser
  Poor Bialy, goodbye fame
  MAX:
  Rented tux...
  Overdue...
  Way overdue
  MAX:
  Such reviews! How dare they insult me in this manner?
  How quickly they forget. I am Max Bialystock!
  The first producer ever to do summer stock in the
  winter!
  CHORUS:
  Once he was the king...
  MAX:
  You've heard of Theatre in the Round?
  You're looking at the man who invented Theatre in the
  Square!
  Nobody had a good seat!
  CHORUS:
  King of old Broadway
  MAX:
  I've spent my entire life in the theater.
  I was a protege of the great Boris Tomaschevski.
  CHORUS:
  Ooh!
  MAX:
  Yes. He taught me everything I know.
  I'll never forget, he turned to me on his deathbed and
  said,
  "Maxella, alle menschen muss zu machen, jeden tug a
  gentzen kachen!"
  NUN #1:
  What does that mean?
  MAX:
  Who knows? I don't speak Yiddish. Strangely enough,
  neither did he.
  But in my heart I knew what he was saying.
  He was saying, when you're down and out, and everybody
  thinks you're finished,
  that's the time to stand up on your two feet and shout,
  "Who do you have to fuck to get a break in this town?!"
  CHORUS:
  Yay!
  MAX:
  I used to be the king
  The king of old Broadway
  Again I will be king
  And be on top to stay
  CHORUS:
  Used to be the king
  King of old Broadway
  On top to stay, hey!
  MAX:
  There'll be gala opening nights again
  You'll see my name in lights again
  I'll go from dark to brights again
  My spirits high as kites again
  I'll never suffer slights again
  I'll taste those sweet delights again
  No plethora of plights again
  No blossoming of blights again
  No frantic fits or frights again
  Fame is in my sights again
  I'll take those fancy flights again
  I'm gonna scare the heights again
  Bialystock will never drop
  Bialystock will never stop...
  Bialystock will be on top again
  CHORUS:
  Fame is in his sights again
  He'll take those fancy flights again
  He's gonna scale the heights again
  MAX:
  I'll be on top again, hey!
  CHORUS:

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  The Brainshow lyrics

  The Brain

  (Fredcrick, Students)
  STUDENT #1:
  It's been said the your grandfather
  Brought dead tissue back to life,
  Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
  STUDENT #2:
  It's been said that your grandfather
  Created a horrifying monster,
  Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
  STUDENT #3:
  It's been said . . .
  (spoken)
  . . . nay, even sung . . .
  (sung)
  That your grandfather's monster
  Hurt and lamed, killed and maimed,
  Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
  STUDENTS:
  Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
  Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
  Is that true,
  Is that true,
  Is that true,
  Is that true, Dr. Frankenstein?
  FREDERICK (spoken):
  That's Fronkensteen! My name, it's pronounced
  Fronkensteen! Yes, yes, the whole world knows what my
  grandfather did. But
  please, do I look like the kind of madman who'd prowl
  around graveyards, digging up freshly buried corpses?
  STUDENT #1:
  Well, Professor . . .
  FREDERICK:
  Don't answer that!
  (sung)
  I'm not a Frankenstein,
  I don't indulge in hijinks
  Or tomfoolery!
  I'm not a Frankenstein,
  I don't believe in mummies,
  Ghosts, or Ghoulery!
  I deal in fact not fiction,
  I am a scientist,
  I live for truth and reason,
  That's the reason I exist
  (spoken)
  There is a vast difference between my crazy
  grandfather's delusional experiments and my own
  devotion to pure science. Which
  leads us directly to the subject of today's lecture.
  (sung)
  The brain!
  There is nothing like the brain
  Hearts and lungs are simply tinker toys
  When stacked against the brain!
  Insane!
  I'm insane about the brain!
  No invention in the universe
  Is equal to the brain!
  The mouth's a marvel
  When it comes to eating,
  I've nothing against the womb,
  I thank the bladder
  When I'm excreting,
  And I always give the elbow room!
  But the brain!
  Please allow me to explain,
  There's no organ can compare to it,
  I swear to it, it's plain,
  It's the brain . . .
  (spoken)
  Mr. Hilltop here, with whom I have never worked nor
  given any prior instruction to, has graciously offered
  his services for
  this afternoon's demonstration.
  (sung)
  His medulla oblongata,
  Tells his brain stem that it's gotta
  Send an impulse full of data
  Which creates a lotta pain.
  His frontal lobe gets busy
  With a thought that makes him dizzy,
  Puts his cortex in a tizzy,
  So he never will complain,
  That's what I love about the brain!
  (spoken)
  Mr. Hilltop, will you raise your left knee, please. You
  have just witnessed a voluntary nerve impulse. Mr.
  Hilltop, you
  may lower your knee. Reflex movements, on the other
  hand, are those which are made independently of the
  will. Why you dirty
  rotten yellow son-of-a-bith!
  MR. HILLTOP:
  Ooooh!
  FREDERICK:
  Even though I almost kneed him
  His reflexes have no freedomm
  to react when I mistreat him,
  It's important I explain
  Synaptic nerve connection
  Goes its way without detection
  Bringing cranial protection
  In a never-endinig chain!
  That's what I love about the brain!
  (spoken)
  But what if we were to block those nerve impulses by
  simply aplying local pressure . . . . . . which can be
  done with any
  ordinary metal clamp, just at the swelling of the
  posterior nerve root . . . for say, oh, four seconds .
  . . . . . Why you
  mother-grabbing bastard! As you can see, even though I
  have just smashed my knee into his crotch, he does not
  react. He
  feels absolutely nothing.
  MR. HILLTOP:
  Mmmm . . .
  FREDERICK:
  More or less. So if it were not for this continuous
  stream of motor impulses from the brain, we would
  collapse . . . . . .
  like a bunch . . . of . . . broccoli!
  MR. HILLTOP:
  Oooooh!
  FREDERICK (sung):
  And in conclusion,
  So there's no confusion,
  Let me say it once again,
  Though your genitalia
  Has been known to fail ya,
  You can bet your ass on the brain!
  (spoken)
  Everybody!
  STUDENTS (sung):
  The brain!
  There is nothing like the brain!
  It's the king of our anaotomy
  And ever shall it reign!
  FREDERICK:
  You can call me Copernicus,
  Kepler, or Newton,
  Compare me to Freud
  I'd feel high-falutin!
  Call me a Darwin,
  I love that man's theory,
  Call me Pasteur
  And watch me get teary!
  Say Madame Curie,
  That would be the best,
  Call me a Rorschach,
  I'm up to the test!
  I really light up
  When you call me Edison
  Call me an Erlich,
  I like that man's medicine
  Call me Marconi,
  That wireless wow
  Call me Pavlov,
  And I'll bark like a chow
  Call me an Einstein
  And that would be fine
  If you called me a Tesla
  I wouldn't decline
  But to call me a Frankenstein
  Would be insane,
  Cause I love the brain!
  STUDENTS:
  His name is Fronkensteen
  The facts are plain

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  That Faceshow lyrics

  That Face

  LEO:
  The urge to merge can rob us of our senses
  The need to breed can make a man a drone
  We must be on alert with our defenses
  For every skirt will test testosterone
  So knowing this I severed all connection
  With any creature sporting silk or lace
  I was firmly headed in the right direction
  When suddenly I stumbled on that face
  That face, that face
  That dangerous face
  I mustn't be unwise
  Those lips, that nose, those eyes
  Could lead to my demise
  That face, that face
  That marvelous face
  I never should begin
  Those cheeks, that neck, that chin
  Will surely do me in
  I must be smart
  And hide my heart
  If she's within a mile
  If I don't duck
  I'm out of luck
  She'd kill me with her smile
  That face, that face
  That fabulous face
  It's clear I must beware
  I'm certain if I fall in love
  I'm lost without a trace
  But it's worth it...
  For that face
  ULLA:
  That face, that face
  That lovable face
  It melts my Swedish heart
  LEO:
  I'm certain if I fall in love
  I'm lost without a trace...
  LEO & ULLA:
  But it's worth it for...

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  Surpriseshow lyrics

  Surprise

  Elizabeth:
  It’s me, it’s me!
  It’s me x 9
  It’s me, me, me, me, me
  Me, me, me, me, me
  Frau Blucher:
  And who are you, you, you, you, you
  You, you, you, you, you
  You?
  Elizabeth: [Spoken]
  Why I’m Elizabeth Benning, Dr. Frankenstein’s adorable
  madcap fiance.
  I’m sure he’s spoken of me day and night.
  Frau Blucher: [Spoken]
  Never.
  Well let me warn you Dr. Frankenstein may not be
  entirely happy with a surprise.
  Elizabeth: [Spoken]
  Au contraire.
  Elizabeth:
  Everybody loves to get a surprise. Life can be so dull
  without a surprise.
  When your spirits dragging and your oh so blue, it all
  can change,
  if your fates arranged a nice surprise for you.
  All the world enjoys a lovely surprise. Life’s a chore,
  a bore without a surprise.
  When everything seems hopeless then you realize,
  there’s nothing like a wonderful surprise.
  Elizabeth: [Spoken]
  Allow me to present my entourage, I never travel
  without them.
  Marcia, nails, Sasha, makeup, Tasha, hair,
  Basha, wardrobe, and Bob my astrologer.
  Ensemble:
  Everybody loves to get a surprise.
  Elizabeth:
  Everybody loves a little surprise.
  Ensemble:
  No one could refuse a little surprise.
  Elizabeth:
  Protestants and Jews all love a surprise.
  Ensemble:
  When you’re melancholy
  Elizabeth:
  Oh boo hoo, hoo
  Ensemble:
  And you start to cry
  Elizabeth:
  Don’t you start to cry
  Ensemble:
  Cause a nice surprise will dry your eyes and troubles
  go bye, bye
  Elizabeth:
  Bye, bye
  Frau and Igor:
  Some folks don’t appreciate a surprise.
  Elizabeth:
  No one could refuse a teeny weeny surprise.
  Frau and Igor:
  Specially if they’re naked when their surprised
  Elizabeth:
  Everyone could use a lovely surprise
  Frau and Igor:
  If you know whats’ doing
  Elizabeth:
  A surprise is brewing
  Frau and Igor:
  Here’s what we advise, never bother people with a
  surprise.
  Elizabeth:
  Freddy, are you ready for a simply stunning surprise?
  It’s me x 4
  Frau and Igor:
  Some folks don’t appreciate a surprise.
  Elizabeth:
  Freddy darling!
  It’s me x 5
  Igor and Frau:
  Specially if they’re naked when their surprised
  Elizabeth:
  Stop your crying, don’t be blue, it all can change, if
  a nice surprise’s for you!
  All the world enjoys a lovely surprise.
  Igor and Frau:
  Some folks don’t appreciate a surprise,
  Elizabeth:
  Surprise!
  Embrace the unexpected and let the fates devise a
  stunning,
  cunning, wonderful surp…
  Frederick!
  Dr. Frankenstein:
  Elizabeth!
  Inga:
  Scheiza
  All:

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  Springtime For Hitler Part Iishow lyrics

  Springtime For Hitler Part Ii

  ROGER:
  I was just a paper hanger
  No one more obscurer
  Got a phone call from the Reichstag
  Told me I was Fuhrer
  Germany was blue
  What, oh, what to do?
  Hitched up my pants
  And conquered France
  Now Deutschland's smiling through!
  It ain't no myst'ry
  If it's politics or hist'ry
  The thing you gotta know is
  Ev'rything is show biz
  Heil myself
  Watch my show
  I'm the German Ethel Merman
  Dontcha know
  We are crossing borders
  The new world order is here
  Make a great big smile
  Ev'ryone sieg heil to me
  Wonderful me!
  And now it's...
  CHORUS:
  Springtime for Hitler and Germany
  Goose-step's the new step today
  CHORUS MEN:
  Bombs falling from the skies again
  CHORUS:
  Deutschland is on the rise again
  ROGER & CHORUS:
  Springtime for Hitler and Germany
  U-boats are sailing once more
  Springtime for Hitler and Germany
  ROGER:
  Means that...
  CHORUS:
  Soon we'll be going...
  ROGER:
  We've got to be going...
  CHORUS:
  You know we'll be going....
  ROGER:
  You bet we'll be going...
  ROGER & CHORUS: