Family Guy

The Griffin household includes two teenagers, a cynical dog who is smarter than everyone else, and an evil baby who makes numerous attempts to eradicate his mother. Heading up this eclectic household is Peter Griffin. Peter does his best to do what's right for the family, but along the way, he makes mistakes that are the stuff of legends.

Cast

• Alex Borstein
• Seth Green
• Seth MacFarlane
• Mila Kunis
• Mike Henry
• Lori Alan
• Patrick Warburton
• Danny Smith

• Season 1
• Episode 1: Death Has a Shadow
  [Peter is ordering from a fast food restaurant]::Peter Griffin: Yeah, I'd like 6, 000 chicken fagita...
• Episode 2: I Never Met the Dead Man
  Chris Griffin: I never knew anyone who went crazy before, except for my imaginary friend Captain Spr...
• Episode 3: Chitty Chitty Death Bang
  Chris Griffin: Hey, birthday dude! You want some ice cream?::Stewie Griffin: Yes, but no sprinkles. ...
• Episode 4: Mind Over Murder
  Peter Griffin: I can't even watch tv anymore All the shows are starting to run together!::Announcer:...
• Episode 5: A Hero Sits Next Door
  Brian: [mistaking a police scanner for a normal radio, during a crime report] Is it just me, or is r...
• Episode 6: The Son Also Draws
  Man: [quick dialog] Speed, I do not think you should be in this race, hahaa! The Mach 5 is not ready...
• Episode 7: Brian: Portrait of a Dog
  Peter Griffin: God I hate this freaking cat....
• Season 2
• Episode 1: Peter, Peter, Caviar Eater
  Peter Griffin: Oh come on Lois. It's time to act like the piece of schmidt you are::Lois Griffin: It...
• Episode 2: Holy Crap
  Peter Griffin: Dad, my God, are you okay?::Francis Griffin: [Francis slaps Peter in the face] Don't ...
• Episode 3: Da Boom
  Peter Griffin: [Peter is trying to convince Lois that the world is ending and trying to get her to g...
• Episode 4: Brian in Love
  Chris Griffin: [on the telephone] So, uh, what are you wearing? Wow! I bet you could see right throu...
• Episode 5: Love Thy Trophy
  Peter Griffin: I'd like to propose a toast to our neighbors. Sure they might be black, handicapped, ...
• Episode 6: Death Is a Bitch
  Peter Griffin: Hey, aren't you Richard Simmons? [thug hits him with pool stick and Peter isn't hurt]...
• Episode 7: The King Is Dead
  Lois Griffin: [auditioning cast members] Stewie! Do you wanna try out for Mommy's play?::Stewie Grif...
• Episode 8: I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar
  Peter Griffin: Why do women have boobs? So you got something to look at when you're talking to them....
• Episode 9: If I'm Dyin' I'm Lyin'
  Lois Griffin: [seeing Peter's "followers" building a golden statue of him] Oh, my God!::Peter Griffi...
• Episode 10: Running Mates
  Chris Griffin: [watching the election debate between his parents on TV] Go Dad!::Meg Griffin: He can...
• Episode 11: A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Bucks
  [Peter and Meg are sitting on a bench in Central Park by the ice rink. Meg does a bird call and a pi...
• Episode 12: Fifteen Minutes of Shame
  Diane Simmons: Peter, do you think there may be any validity to what Meg is feeling?::Peter: WHO ARE...
• Episode 13: Road to Rhode Island
  Brian Griffin: Listen kid there's something I've been meaning to tell you. It's no easy for me to sa...
• Episode 14: Let's Go to the Hop
  Peter Griffin: I had such a crush on her... until I met you, Lois. You're my silver medal....
• Episode 15: Dammit Janet
  Stewie Griffin: Oh, Rupert, I can't sleep. I don't suppose you have any Valium on you? Of course not...
• Episode 16: There's Something About Paulie
  Peter Griffin: Lois, what are you doing lying on the couch at this hour? Have you been drinking?::Lo...
• Episode 17: He's Too Sexy for His Fat
  Lois Griffin: Oh my, tomatoes are 3.99 a pound that's so high! Isn't that high? It seems so high!...
• Episode 18: E. Peterbus Unum
  Peter Griffin: Well how about you just give me your pen?::Adam West: You mean this cheap little pen ...
• Episode 19: The Story on Page One
  Chris Griffin: Brown is the color of poo.::Brian Griffin: Yes, yes it is....
• Episode 20: Wasted Talent
  Peter Griffin: This is it, pal. We're goners.::Brian Griffin: Peter, I want you to know I've really ...
• Episode 21: Fore, Father
  Meg Griffin: Mom, I can't clean - I got stuff to do!::Lois Griffin: Sweetheart, we all know you don'...
• Season 3
• Episode 1: The Thin White Line
  Brian Griffin: Ah... Sorry Doc. I don't usually let Peter talk me into this kinda stuff.::Lady: Wait...
• Episode 2: Brian Does Hollywood
  Zack: It's kind of like 'Bang the Drum Slowly' except the drum is a chick....
• Episode 3: Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington
  Peter Griffin: Lois, this is the best job I've ever had! Hey, since I've become President, profits h...
• Episode 4: One If by Clam, Two If by Sea
  Lois Griffin: [about Nigel] He's Charming. All british men are.::Peter Griffin: Sure Lois, that's wh...
• Episode 5: And the Wiener Is...
  Lois Griffin: We'll meet you in the ten-inches-or-less line.::[beat; Lois realizes what she's just s...
• Episode 6: Death Lives
  Death's Mother: Death, put on your jacket or you'll get frostbite!::Death: I don't have skin!::Death...
• Episode 7: Lethal Weapons
  Peter Griffin: Hey, excuse me, is your refrigerator running, because if it is, it probably runs like...
• Episode 8: The Kiss Seen Around the World
  Lois Griffin: [See's the bully tied up on a chair in the basement] What are you kids doing?::Stewie ...
• Episode 9: Mr. Saturday Knight
  Black Knight: You see that kids? Your father's nothing but a fizzle!::Peter Griffin: Nobody calls me...
• Episode 10: A Fish Out of Water
  'Find The Fish': I wonder where that fish did go. A fish, a fish, a fishy, oh!...
• Episode 11: Emission Impossible
  Peter Griffin: Oh, geez! My duodenum's acting up!...
• Episode 12: To Love and Die in Dixie
  Meg Griffin: [opening the closet door] Someone's in the closet!::Jeff Foxworthy: You know you're a r...
• Episode 13: Screwed the Pooch
  Lois Griffin: [after Brian takes off after Sea Breeze during a dog race] What's Brian doing?::Meg Gr...
• Episode 14: Peter Griffin: Husband, Father... Brother?
  Dennis Miller: I don't wanna go on a rant here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sen...
• Episode 15: Ready, Willing and Disabled
  Peter Griffin: [enters Tom Tucker's room in a wheelchair with his head bandaged] Mr. Tucker, I have ...
• Episode 16: A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas
  Peter Griffin: Merry Christmas to all, and to all, shut the hell up!...
• Episode 17: Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows
  Peter Griffin: [talking to Meg] No speakie until the man speakie to you....
• Episode 18: From Method to Madness
  [Stewie and Olivia have just finished their duet]::Simon: Watch this. Are you watching?::[Stewie and...
• Episode 19: Stuck Together, Torn Apart
  Lois Griffin: [while changing Stewie] And I'm just ashamed of myself that I let Peter's jealousy pre...
• Episode 20: Road to Europe
  Stewie Griffin: [singing] You and I are so awfully different, too awfully different, to ever be pals...
• Episode 21: Family Guy Viewer Mail #1
  Peter Griffin: I say, Quagmire, it seems to me we've each made another $500 million dollars.::Quagmi...
• Episode 22: When You Wish Upon a Weinstein
  [Brian is watching "Seinfeld"]::Jerry Seinfeld: So you couldn't date her because she was a tickler.:...
• Season 4
• Episode 1: North by North Quahog
  Trica Takanowa: [on news] I'm standing outside Manhattan's luxurious new Park Barrington Hotel becau...
• Episode 2: Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High
  Fish 1: You know what I hate? A Guy in a blue suit. [a dead man in a blue suit floats behind him]::F...
• Episode 3: Blind Ambition
  Peter Griffin: Okay, first of all, Bonnie, you've been pregnant for like six years, all right. Eithe...
• Episode 4: Don't Make Me Over
  Stewie Griffin: 10 bucks.::Brian Griffin: Five bucks.::Stewie Griffin: Eight bucks and I'll do it.::...
• Episode 5: The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire
  [Loretta moaning in the background]::Brian Griffin: Hey do you hear that?::Peter Griffin: What?::Bri...
• Episode 6: Petarded
  Chris Griffin: My dad's smarter than your dad.::Meg Griffin: We have the same dad, idiot!::Chris Gri...
• Episode 7: Brian the Bachelor
  Stewie Griffin: Oh, I know it hurts now Brian, but look at the bright side, you have some new materi...
• Episode 8: 8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter
  Glen Quagmire: Hey Peter, uh... you have a card for if you transferred V.D. to somebody?::Peter Grif...
• Episode 9: Breaking Out Is Hard to Do
  Kidnapper: I got some candy in my van, if your kid wants some.::Parent: Oh great.::Parent: [Starts t...
• Episode 10: Model Misbehavior
  Tape Worm Inside Brian: You know what's interesting? I've only been alive for six weeks. I know noth...
• Episode 11: Peter's Got Woods
  Picard: Number One, if i whispered in your ear that Commander Worf's head looks like a fanny, would ...
• Episode 12: The Perfect Castaway
  Stewie Griffin: Oh, bitch! You got jacked, bitch!...
• Episode 13: Jungle Love
  Stewie Griffin: Do the women there have exposed clitterati?...
• Episode 14: PTV
  Stewie Griffin: Good Day to you sir. And now prepare to die....
• Episode 15: Brian Goes Back to College
  Cleveland: [as Mr. T] I pity the fool!::Cleveland: [normal voice] But I also suggest ways that he ma...
• Episode 16: The Courtship of Stewie's Father
  Lois Griffin: Peter, I need to talk to you about your son.::Peter Griffin: Which one, the fat one or...
• Episode 17: Fat Guy Strangler
  Lois Griffin: Peter, don't forget, you have your physical today at 1:00.::Peter Griffin: For the hun...
• Episode 18: The Father, the Son and the Holy Fonz
  Brian Griffin: Oh that's very Christian. Believe what I say or I'll hurt you.::Francis Griffin: Now ...
• Episode 19: Brian Sings & Swings
  Stewie Griffin: Hey Brian, remember me? I'm the guy you left standing at the counter at McDonald's w...
• Episode 20: Patriot Games
  Brian Griffin: [to Stewie] You shot me in both legs and set me on fire. Piss off....
• Episode 21: I Take Thee, Quagmire
  Peter Griffin: You know, this may not be cool, just throwing it out there, she *was* suicidal.::Deat...
• Episode 22: Sibling Rivalry
  Lois Griffin: Okay, one more minute, and then if there are two pink lines...::Peter Griffin: Oh god,...
• Episode 23: Deep Throats
  Lois Griffin: You know, it would be fun to write some new songs.::Stewie Griffin: You know what else...
• Episode 24: Peterotica
  Betty White: [to Peter] Hi. I'm Betty White. I just got a subpoena regarding an erotic novel and I'm...
• Episode 25: You May Now Kiss the... Uh... Guy Who Receives
  Lois Griffin: Oh my god, I've made a terrible mistake! I've been brainwashed like Elizabeth Smart.::...
• Episode 26: Petergeist
  Tom Tucker: A bit of breaking news. A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who are th...
• Episode 27: Untitled Griffin Family History
  Peter Hitler: Hey there you are! Ready to go see that new skin flick at the boobengarden?::Adolf Hit...
• Episode 28: Stewie B. Goode
  The title is based on the Rock and Roll song "Johnny Be Goode" written and performed by 'Chuck Berry...
• Episode 29: Bango Was His Name, Oh!
  The title is based on the traditional children's song used to teach rhythmic skills, "There was a fa...
• Episode 30: Stu & Stewie's Excellent Adventure
  Stewie Griffin: You will not call them Mommy and Daddy! It's Lois and the Fat Man, do you understand...
• Season 5
• Episode 1: Stewie Loves Lois
  Peter Griffin: What the hell was that?::Dr. Hartman: Mr. Griffin, that was a prostate exam.::Peter G...
• Episode 2: Mother Tucker
  Banker: I don't quite understand. What exactly do you want this loan for?::Darth Vader: I want to bu...
• Episode 3: Hell Comes to Quahog
  Stewie Griffin: [there is a heat wave in Quahog] Brian, spit on me.::Brian Griffin: [spits on Stewie...
• Episode 4: Saving Private Brian
  'Marilyn Manson' (qv) refused to dub himself....
• Episode 5: Whistle While Your Wife Works
  Stewie Griffin: Life's confusing when we grow up, isn't it, Brian? Hey, can we listen to my mix tape...
• Episode 6: Prick Up Your Ears
  Peter Griffin: I'll be more convincing than Mel Gibson when he apologized to the Jews.::[cut to Mel ...
• Episode 7: Chick Cancer
  Stewie Griffin: [wearing Brian's hair on his chest and diaper] Hey, baby!::Jillian: Hi, Stewie!::Bri...
• Episode 8: Barely Legal
  Meg Griffin: Hey Brian!::Brian Griffin: Hey Meg! Listen, I hope you feel alright about our talk the ...
• Episode 9: Road to Rupert
  Lois Griffin: Who wants a glass of fresh lemonade?::Peter Griffin: Not me! What I want is a fresh gl...
• Episode 10: Peter's Two Dads
  [Peter sits on the couch, lighting a bong]::Brian Griffin: Peter, what are you doing?::Peter Griffin...
• Episode 11: The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou
  Stewie: [talking to Brian] You wouldn't know about it 'cause you're white as a ghost. You're hauntin...
• Episode 12: Airport '07
  Quagmire: [over the plane's intercom] Good afternoon ladies and gentleman, this is your captain Glen...
• Episode 13: Bill & Peter's Bogus Journey
  Mayor West: [Mayor West, in his underwear, finds Brian's "leavings" in his yard] Well, what do you k...
• Episode 14: No Meals on Wheels
  Peter Griffin: [buried beneath a pile of cripples and Ben Stiller has landed] Ben Stiller, help me.:...
• Episode 15: Boys Do Cry
  Peter Griffin: Hey, Lois, did you say something?::Lois Griffin: Oh, just that I think you're gonna l...
• Episode 16: No Chris Left Behind
  Principal Shepard: Chris Griffin... you are expelled from James Wood High::Chris Griffin: But if I l...
• Episode 17: It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One
  Glen Quagmire: ["campaigning" for Lois by seducing female voters] If I tried to masturbate right now...
• Episode 18: Meet the Quagmires
  Lois Griffin: [while dancing] Something just poked me!::Glen Quagmire: It's ok. It's just my penis....
• Season 6
• Episode 1: Blue Harvest
  [first lines]::Title card/crawl: A long time ago, but somehow in the future... It is a period of civ...
• Episode 2: Movin' Out (Brian's Song)
  Lois Griffin: Oh, hi, Brian. I thought you were spending the day with Jillian.::Brian: I was, but Pe...
• Episode 3: Believe It or Not, Joe's Walking on Air
  Cleveland: I hate shows that cut away from the story for some bullcrap....
• Episode 4: Stewie Kills Lois
  Ship's Captain: I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to bar you from the aft section of the s...
• Episode 5: Lois Kills Stewie
  [Stan Smith and Avery Bullock from "American Dad!" confront Brian and Stewie after Stewie gains cont...
• Episode 6: Padre de Familia
  Brian Griffin: Peter you didn't even know what 9/11 was until 2004.::Peter Griffin: That's not true ...
• Episode 7: Peter's Daughter
  Woman: [while making out with Jodie Foster, hearing a car pull in] Oh, no, Jodie, it's my husband. H...
• Episode 8: McStroke
  Lois Griffin: [on Peter's new mustache] I think it's handsome.::Brian Griffin: I think it's gay.::Pe...
• Episode 9: Back to the Woods
  James Woods: You're in a lot of trouble Griffin, you motherfucker!...
• Episode 10: Play It Again, Brian
  [Herbert is reading Chris a bedtime story]::Chris Griffin: Are you a pedophile?...
• Episode 11: The Former Life of Brian
  Stewie Griffin: [to Brian when he becomes a magician to impress a girl] You need more than that. You...
• Episode 12: Long John Peter
  Brian Griffin: [Brian is lying on the floor, after being severely beaten by Chris] OK someone needs ...
• Season 7
• Episode 1: Love Blactually
  Cleveland: I'm no meteorologist, but I'm pretty sure it's rainin' bitches....
• Episode 2: I Dream of Jesus
  Guy at party: Woah, Lindsay Lohan just took her top off!::Lindsay Lohan: Wow, I just drank a beer! W...
• Episode 3: Road to Germany
  Stewie Griffin: But where do we find uranium in WWII Europe?::Brian Griffin: There's only one place,...
• Episode 4: Baby Not on Board
  Peter Griffin: You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target...
• Episode 5: The Man with Two Brians
  Lois Griffin: [comes out of a door with a bag of trash] Peter, what are you...::[sees that Peter is ...
• Episode 6: Tales of a Third Grade Nothing
  Tom Tucker: And now Peter Griffin. Peter, your word is "lesbians". "Lesbians".::Peter Griffin: Can y...
• Episode 7: Ocean's Three and a Half
  Brian Griffin: What's it called?::Stewie Griffin: Susie.::Brian Griffin: Wow, a song named after a g...
• Episode 8: Family Gay
  Lois Griffin: Is there a reason all the horses are named after cancelled Fox shows?::Announcer: Kitc...
• Episode 9: The Juice Is Loose!
  Per the title, "The Juice" was one of the nicknames for football player Orenthal James "O. J." Simps...
• Episode 10: FOX-y Lady
  Lois Griffin: Gush, it's an awfully big decision.::Anchorman: Lois please, take the job for Fox' sak...
• Episode 11: Not All Dogs Go to Heaven
  Stewie Griffin: This was exhausting. This whole experience was absolutely exhausting. You people hav...
• Episode 12: 420
  [Brian has to take a drug test but has just smoked pot]::Brian Griffin: Quick, Stewie! I need your u...
• Episode 13: Stew-Roids
  Stewie Griffin: Uh-oh! Spa-doodie-ohs!...
• Episode 14: We Love You Conrad
  Lauren Conrad: This is not about me being smarter than you. This is about you still being in love wi...
• Episode 15: Three Kings
  Chris Quagmire: Ha ha! Beat those cards, fellas! Ha ha ha! Giggety-giggety-fifties-giggety!...
• Episode 16: Peter's Progress
  Strawberry Peter: Ah... it's another pleasant day for me, Peter the Strawberry. Hey, Mr. Worm. I wel...
• Season 8
• Episode 1: Road to the Multiverse
  Brian Griffin: Okay, I'm a new neighbor, and you're my pet human, Hotchkis, got it?::Stewie Griffin:...
• Episode 2: Family Goy
  Max: Becoming Jewish doesn't happen overnight. It's a process that involves spiritual education and ...
• Episode 3: Spies Reminiscent of Us
  [a missile attacks Cleveland's new house while he's in the bathtub]::Cleveland Brown: [Sitting in th...
• Episode 4: Brian's Got a Brand New Bag
  The title references 'James Brown (I)' (qv)'s song "Papa's Got a Brand New Bag"....
• Episode 5: Hannah Banana
  [Brian and Stewie have discovered that Miley Cyrus is actually an android built by Disney]::Stewie: ...
• Episode 6: Quagmire's Baby
  Bitch-Brian: I stuck a pencil in my bum and now I need a band-aid!...
• Episode 7: Jerome Is the New Black
  Glen Quagmire: You wanna maybe just go?::Brian Griffin: Quagmire, come on. I'm really trying hard he...
• Episode 8: Dog Gone
  Brian Griffin: You see, I'd thought I start out locally, then try to merge with one of the larger gr...
• Episode 9: Business Guy
  Peter Griffin: Does the name Lacey Chabert mean anything to you?...
• Episode 10: Big Man on Hippocampus
  Richard Dawson: Name something you sit in.::Lois Griffin: A chair.::Stewie Griffin: My own feces.::R...
• Episode 11: Dial Meg for Murder
  Peter Griffin: Hold on Lois, this is some serious parenting. I'm going to go put on my Cosby sweater...
• Episode 12: Extra Large Medium
  Stewie Griffin: Hey Chris, did you know your bacne spells 'Citibank' in braille?...
• Episode 13: Go, Stewie, Go!
  Julie: Don't mind Randall. He's just getting into character.::Stewie Griffin: Is he playing a dick?...
• Episode 14: Peter-assment
  After Peter has some luck selling footage of a celebrity he caught off-guard, he decides to become a...
• Episode 15: Brian Griffin's House of Payne
  James Woods: What a pain in my class!...
• Episode 16: April in Quahog
  Brian Griffin: Stewie, can you please move? You're blocking the TV.::Stewie Griffin: No! And I'll th...
• Episode 17: Brian & Stewie
  Stewie Griffin: You cried after Columbine.::Brian Griffin: Yeah, it was a national tragedy.::Stewie ...
• Episode 18: Quagmire's Dad
  Quagmire's father, Dan, comes to Quahog for a visit. Peter and Joe meet him, hoping to learn what ma...
• Episode 19: The Splendid Source
  [Extended DVD scene]::Lois Griffin: Well, peter I'm glad you and the guys finally found what you wer...
• Episode 20: Something, Something, Something, Dark Side
  Lois Griffin as Princess Leia: [watches Slave-1 fly off] Oh, no. We've lost Han. They're taking him ...
• Episode 21: Partial Terms of Endearment
  [Meg offers to host the baby]::Meg Griffin: I can do it!::Lois Griffin: Oh come on Meg, it was hard ...
• Season 9
• Episode 1: And Then There Were Fewer
  Glen Quagmire: Can't we all just be happy she's dead?...
• Episode 2: Excellence in Broadcasting
  Lois Griffin: Even true things, once said on Fox News, become lies....
• Episode 3: Welcome Back Carter
  First episode not to feature Stewie....
• Episode 4: Halloween on Spooner Street
  Chris Griffin: Uh, Brian, why are you pink?::Brian Griffin: [sniffing] Why do you two smell like swe...
• Episode 5: Baby, You Knock Me Out
  When Peter receives tickets to a boxing match as a birthday gift, he volunteers Lois to compete. To ...
• Episode 6: Brian Writes a Bestseller
  Feeling discouraged with the progress of his writing career, Brian decides to throw in the towel unt...
• Episode 7: Road to the North Pole
  Stewie's favorite thing after his teddy bear, Rupert, is Christmas. So when he hears that Santa is m...
• Episode 8: New Kidney in Town
  After years of drinking with the guys, Peter's love of the sauce has finally caught up with him and ...
• Episode 9: And I'm Joyce Kinney
  Pastor: [after he finds out Lois was in a pornographic film] You are no longer welcome here, Lois Gr...
• Episode 10: Friends of Peter G.
  Brian Griffin: This sucks! I can't believe that judge is making us go to a month of AA.::Lois Griffi...
• Episode 11: German Guy
  Lois Griffin: I'm pretty sure our washing machine is pregnant. I don't even know how that's scientif...
• Episode 12: The Hand That Rocks the Wheelchair
  Bonnie's line about her gambling addiction is an inside joke about the actress who voices Bonnie, 'J...
• Episode 13: Trading Places
  [last lines]::Dr. Hartman: Hey, what do you guys do when the screen goes black?...
• Episode 14: Tiegs for Two
  The name of the restaurant at the end of this episode is L'espéce D'andouille, which in French rough...
• Episode 15: Brothers & Sisters
  When Mayor West marries Lois' sister, Carol, they move into the Griffin's house to be one big "happy...
• Episode 16: The Big Bang Theory
  Stewie and Brian go back in time to stop Bertram from killing Leonardo da Vinci....
• Episode 17: Foreign Affairs
  Meg Griffin: The goat flu outbreak at school is over and, honestly, I'm afraid we're not learning an...
• Episode 18: Episode VI: It's a Trap
  Stewie Griffin as Darth Vader: [after Luke is injured during the lightsaber duel] We'll be lucky to ...
• Season 10
• Episode 1: Lottery Fever
  This is the second time the theme song was interrupted....
• Episode 2: Seahorse Seashell Party
  [last lines of the episode, as the Griffins have a group hug when Stewie addresses the viewer]::Stew...
• Episode 3: Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q
  [Jeffrey thinks he's strangled Quagmire as he digs his grave when the car lights come on and it's Qu...
• Episode 4: Stewie Goes for a Drive
  Brian Griffin: Sometimes in life, you just have to accept what's coming to you. Like the contestant ...
• Episode 5: Back to the Pilot
  [Brian and Stewie travelled back in time to January 31, 1999, the day that Family Guy first premiere...
• Episode 6: Thanksgiving
  Lois cooks a big Thanksgiving meal and invites the whole crew over for dinner, and Joe is shocked wh...
• Episode 7: Amish Guy
  Eli's Father: Dear Amish Lord: Thou lookest sternly down upon us-thine flock-even though we did not ...
• Episode 8: Cool Hand Peter
  Glenn Quagmire: [Peter, Cleveland, Joe, and Quagmire are hiding from the sheriff and are all handcuf...
• Episode 9: Grumpy Old Man
  It's winter in Quahog, and Lois' parents, Carter and Babs, take Stewie for a trip. But when Carter f...
• Episode 10: Meg and Quagmire
  When Meg finally turns 18, Quagmire seizes the opportunity to pursue his next romantic conquest. As ...
• Episode 11: The Blind Side
  Brian starts dating a blind girl and things get a little dicey when she divulges that she hates dogs...
• Episode 12: Livin' on a Prayer
  When Stewie's new best friend falls ill, Lois takes him to the hospital where she finds out he has a...
• Episode 13: Tom Tucker: The Man and His Dream
  When Peter decides to become a famous actor, he becomes Tom Tucker's agent as his first step toward ...
• Episode 14: Be Careful What You Fish For
  When Peter and the guys try to salvage a sunken Mercedes-Benz, Peter half-heartedly promises a favor...
• Episode 15: Burning Down the Bayit
  Overwhelmed with financial troubles, Mort asks Peter and Quagmire to help him save his pharmacy. How...
• Episode 16: Killer Queen
  When Peter and Chris go away to fat camp, they cross paths with a serial killer who targets overweig...
• Episode 17: Forget-Me-Not
  When a seemingly innocent guy's night out takes a sudden turn, Peter, Joe, Brian and Quagmire wake u...
• Episode 18: You Can't Do That on Television, Peter
  USA:1 April 2012...
• Episode 19: Mr. & Mrs. Stewie
  Stewie becomes smitten when he meets Penelope, a girl who happens to be the female version of himsel...
• Episode 20: Leggo My Meg-O
  When Meg travels abroad to Europe, her exciting adventure comes to a halt when she gets kidnapped. B...
• Episode 21: Tea Peter
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Episode 22: Viewer Mail #2
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Episode 23: Internal Affairs
  Joe Swanson: I want a divorce!::Bonnie Swanson: Well you're getting it!...
• Season 11
• Episode 1: Into Fat Air
  USA...
• Episode 2: Ratings Guy
  Peter Griffin: J.J. Abrams, you take wonder and complexity and present it in a way that no one can p...
• Episode 3: The Old Man and the Big 'C'
  Jerry: I guess a lot of people are sneezing out there.::Kleenex Guy: Jerry, Jerry, I'm gonna let you...
• Episode 4: Yug Ylimaf
  The plot of the film hinges on time moving in reverse. The episode title, "Yug Ylimaf" is the name o...
• Episode 5: Joe's Revenge
  USA...
• Episode 6: Lois Comes Out of Her Shell
  USA...
• Episode 7: Friends Without Benefits
  USA...
• Episode 8: Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
  USA...
• Episode 9: Space Cadet
  USA...
• Episode 10: Brian's Play
  The scene were Brian (a mediocre writer) reads through Stewie's play 'An American Marriage' to class...
• Episode 11: The Giggity Wife
  USA...
• Episode 12: Valentine's Day in Quahog
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Episode 13: Chris Cross
  Stewie Griffin: [after listening to some Anne Murray music] What a woman. And to think Canada has go...
• Episode 14: Call Girl
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Episode 15: Turban Cowboy
  Peter Griffin: O.M.A.!...
• Episode 16: 12 and a Half Angry Men
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Episode 17: Bigfat
  [Peter is dreaming about Stan Smith killing him for telling Quagmire about Roger]::Lois Griffin: Pet...
• Episode 18: Total Recall
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Episode 19: Save the Clam
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Episode 20: Farmer Guy
  Jodie Sweetin: Hey are you guys in there? Peter I need a taste.::Peter Griffin: Oh my god it's Jodie...
• Episode 21: Roads to Vegas
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Episode 22: No Country Club for Old Men
  Stewie Griffin: Brian have you seen the remote? I want to watch the Weather Channel. They're some to...
• Season 12
• Episode 1: Finders Keepers
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Episode 2: Vestigial Peter
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Episode 3: Quagmire's Quagmire
  When Quagmire meets a woman named Sonja, who is as sexually insatiable as he is, he is thrilled to f...
• Episode 4: A Fistful of Meg
  Glenn Quagmire: To this day I can't have sex with a woman against her will, without thinking of rape...
• Episode 5: Boopa-dee Bappa-dee
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Episode 6: Life of Brian
  Brian Griffin: [dying on an operating table after being hit by a car] You've given me a wonderful li...
• Episode 7: Into Harmony's Way
  With Brian's death this marks as none of the main characters appear in all episodes....
• Episode 8: Christmas Guy
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Episode 9: Peter Problems
  USA:5 January 2014...
• Season 13
• Episode 1: The Simpsons Guy
  RAT:16:9 HD...