Scotland (Scottish Gaelic: Alba ([ˈalˠ̪apə] listen (help·info))) is a country that is part of the United Kingdom. Occupying the northern third of the island of Great Britain, it shares a border with England to the south and is bounded by the North Sea to the east, the Atlantic Ocean to the north and west, and the North Channel and Irish Sea to the southwest. In addition to the mainland, Scotland constitutes over 790 islands including the Northern Isles and the Hebrides.
Edinburgh, the country's capital and second largest city, is one of Europe's largest financial centres. Edinburgh was the hub of the Scottish Enlightenment of the 18th century, which transformed Scotland into one of the commercial, intellectual and industrial powerhouses of Europe. Glasgow, Scotland's largest city, was once one of the world's leading industrial cities and now lies at the centre of the Greater Glasgow conurbation. Scottish waters consist of a large sector of the North Atlantic and the North Sea, containing the largest oil reserves in the European Union. This has given Aberdeen, the third largest city in Scotland, the title of Europe's oil capital.
David Michael Letterman (born April 12, 1947) is an American television host and comedian. He hosts the late night television talk show, Late Show with David Letterman, broadcast on CBS. Letterman has been a fixture on late night television since the 1982 debut of Late Night with David Letterman on NBC. Letterman recently surpassed friend and mentor Johnny Carson for having the longest late-night hosting career in the United States of America.
Letterman is also a television and film producer. His company Worldwide Pants produces his show as well as its network follow-up The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. Worldwide Pants has also produced several prime-time comedies, the most successful of which was Everybody Loves Raymond, currently in syndication.
In 1996, David Letterman was ranked #45 on TV Guide's 50 Greatest TV Stars of All Time.
Letterman was born in Indianapolis, Indiana. His father, Harry Joseph Letterman (April 1915 – February 1973), was a florist of British descent; his mother Dorothy Letterman (née Hofert, now Dorothy Mengering), a Presbyterian church secretary of German descent, is an occasional figure on the show, usually at holidays and birthdays.
Danny Bhoy (born Danni Chaudhry on 17 January 1974) is a Scottish comedian who has performed in New Zealand, the UK, Australia, Canada and the United States. He is half-Indian and half-Scottish.
Bhoy was born in Moffat, Scotland, one of four children and attended Lockerbie Academy and all-boys private school Merchiston Castle School in Edinburgh.
His humour is observational, often involving his own personal experiences as an international comedian. While he does mention his Indian heritage, it is often a quick reference and never the focus of the show. Despite his stage name, Bhoy is not a fan of Celtic F.C., his favourite team is Newcastle United.
He began stand up in 1998 after going to see his first comedy show at the Edinburgh Festival. A year later, he won The Daily Telegraph Open Mic Award, Britain's biggest competition for comedy newcomers. In 2001, Danny took his first full length solo show to the Edinburgh Festival, where, within a week, he had sold out his entire three-week run, and added extra shows to cope with the demand for tickets.
They all need something to hold on to
They all mean well
Pay your respects to society giving me hell
You could never feel my story
It's all you know
You could never feel my story
It's all you know
May your dreams come to reality
If all else fails
Give up, we needed the company
Let's drink to your health
You could never feel my story
It's all you know
You could never feel my story
It's all you know
I will not fold
She's in control
I will not fold
I'd like to go to Scotland,
I'd like to wear I kilt,
I'd like to show off my two legs
And do just what I wilt
I'd like to go to Scotland
And show off my two thighs,
I'd like to wear a minikilt
And poke you in the eyes
I'd like to go to Scotland
And be so very bad,
I'd wear a micro minikilt