An audience is a group of people who participate in a show or encounter a work of art, literature (in which they are called "readers"), theatre, music (in which they are called "listeners"), video game (in which they are called "players"), or academics in any medium. Audience members participate in different ways in different kinds of art; some events invite overt audience participation and others allowing only modest clapping and criticism and reception.
Media audiences are studied by academics in media audience studies. Audience theory offers scholarly insight into audiences in general. These insights shape our knowledge of just how audiences affect and are affected by different forms of art. The biggest art form is the mass media. Films along with video games etc. take on a huge impact from the "audience" along with their reviews and recommendations. Jeff Jarvis, former media executive states "“Give the people control of media, they will use it. The corollary: Don’t give the people control of media, and you will lose. Whenever citizens can exercise control, they will.” As the audience we take on a lot of power as separate individuals and as a group. Now it has expanded into not just a movie screen or television but how we react to applications, the device we preview it on, the place we watch the film or even the time.
Steven Siro Vai (born June 6, 1960) is an American guitarist, songwriter and producer who has sold over 15 million albums. After starting his career as a music transcriptionist for Frank Zappa, Vai recorded and toured in Zappa's band for two years, from 1980 to 1982. He began a solo career in 1983, has released eight solo albums and won three Grammy Awards. He has also recorded and toured with Public Image Ltd., Alcatrazz, David Lee Roth and Whitesnake. Vai has been a regular touring member of the G3 Concert Tour which began in 1996. In 1999 Vai started his own record label Favored Nations, intending to showcase as he describes, "...artists that have attained the highest performance level on their chosen instruments."
Vai began playing guitar in 1973, at the age of 13. In 1974, he took guitar lessons from guitarist Joe Satriani and played in local bands, one of which was called "The Steve Vais". He was influenced by guitarists including Jimi Hendrix, Jeff Beck, Brian May, Jimmy Page, Glen Buxton, and jazz fusion guitarist Allan Holdsworth. Vai attended the Berklee College of Music, afterwards recording a promotional piece for them in which he spoke about auditioning for Frank Zappa at age 20.
Kenneth Arthur Dodd OBE (born Liverpool, 8 November 1927) is a British comedian and singer-songwriter, famous for his frizzy hair or "fluff dom" and buck teeth or "denchers", his favourite cleaner, the feather duster (or "tickling stick") and his greeting of "How tickled I am!", as well as his send-off "Lots and Lots of Happiness!". He works mainly in the music hall tradition, although, in the past, has occasionally appeared in drama, including as Malvolio in Shakespeare's Twelfth Night on stage in Liverpool in 1971; on television in the cameo role of 'The Tollmaster' in the 1987 Doctor Who story Delta and the Bannermen; and as Yorick (in silent flashback) in Kenneth Branagh's film version of Shakespeare's Hamlet in 1996. In the 1960s his fame was such that he rivalled The Beatles as a household name.
Dodd's stand-up comedy style is fast and relies on the rapid delivery of one-liner jokes. He has claimed that his comic influences include other Liverpool comedians like Arthur Askey, Robb Wilton, Tommy Handley and the "cheeky chappy" from Brighton Max Miller. He intersperses the comedy with occasional songs, both serious and humorous, in an incongruously fine light baritone voice.
Plot
The story of how a boy was abandoned by his mother and how he, later, abandoned her. The year he'll be 14, the parents of Augusten Burroughs (1965- ) divorce, and his mother, who thinks of herself as a fine poet on the verge of fame, delivers him to the eccentric household of her psychiatrist, Dr. Finch. During that year, Augusten avoids school, keeps a journal, and practices cosmetology. His mother's mental illness worsens, he takes an older lover, he finds friendship with Finch's younger daughter, and he's the occasional recipient of gifts from an unlikely benefactor. Can he survive to come of age?
Keywords: 1970s, abandoned-by-father, adopted-son, adoption, african-american, alcoholic, allergy, allowance, anger, anti-anxiety-medication
Ever have one of those lives?
He's looking forward to a memory he won't have to suppress
Dr. Finch: Well, the only loophole or way I could see me getting you out of school for any considerable length of time would be for you... to commit suicide.::Augusten Burroughs: You want me to kill myself?::Dr. Finch: Well, if you tried to kill yourself, I could explain to the schoolboard that you were psychologically unfit to attend, and that you needed intensive treatment. It would be a staged suicide attempt. Of course, your poor mother would have to find you and drive you to the hospital, where you would stay for three weeks or a month for observation.::Augusten Burroughs: I don't know. It doesn't...::Dr. Finch: Augusten. Where is your spirit of adventure?
[from trailer]::Natalie: Are you ready?::Augusten Burroughs: For what?::Natalie: To play "Doctor."
Neil Bookman: I'm a fuck-up and it's your fault!::Dr. Finch: That's right, Neil. Blame your father for your inability to focus. Direct all of that rage at me if it makes you feel better.::Neil Bookman: I can't focus because of the voices! I see you for what you are. Yeah. The camera never lies. No! My parents have given you thousands of dollars and I'm still sick! You have to help me get better! You know what I do! You have to help me get better!::Dr. Finch: You're right, Neil. You're right. I've done nothing, apparently. I've never pulled any strings, gotten you a scholarship to the University of Rochester to pursue your photographic interests. Absolutely nothing.::Neil Bookman: You just wanted to get rid of me. Why won't you let me live in this house and be a part of this family?::Dr. Finch: Because I am the patriarch! And when the patriarch says jump, you jump, goddamnit! You don't co-operate, Neil, and for that, you're punished!::Neil Bookman: That's not why you won't let me live in this house. You won't let me because you're afraid of me, aren't you? Of what I could do to you in the middle of the night while you're sleeping. Huh? You're afraid of me. Aren't you, Doctor?::Dr. Finch: Our time is up, Neil. I believe we've made a breakthrough today.
Deirdre Burroughs: I need high cellings
Hope: You know Natalie, youre so oral, you'll never get to anal::Natalie: And youll never get a dick in your dried up cunt, you old maid!
Augusten Burroughs: According to Hope, Freud died of kitty Leukemia. According to me, Freud died of being trapped in a laundry basket for four days without food or water.
Deirdre Burroughs: Augusten. Don't smoke my cigarettes. You have a pack of your own.
Norman Burroughs: I don't understand.::Six-Year-Old Augusten Burroughs: I polish my allowance. I boil it clean, then polish it with silver polish.::Norman Burroughs: But why, Augusten? Why?::Six-Year-Old Augusten Burroughs: Because I like shiny things.::Norman Burroughs: I really don't see myself in you at all.::Six-Year-Old Augusten Burroughs: I'm more like my mom. I want to be special and I want to be famous.
Neil Bookman: I think he's a genius. Like when I was your age, and I'd have a rage seizure, he'd put on music to lower my blood pressure. Nat King Cole. "Stardust." Revolutionary sort of stuff, you know? Worked everytime. If he hadn't adopted me... shit, I don't know what I would've done.
Norman Burroughs: Is he an MD doctor?::Deirdre Burroughs: Yes. And as I've told you a hundred times, he got his MD at Yale.::Norman Burroughs: You heard about this guy from where?::Deirdre Burroughs: Doctor Newpall. Augusten's allergist. If you were more of a man and involved in your son's life, you'd know who that was. I smell manure.::Norman Burroughs: I don't smell anything.::Deirdre Burroughs: I do, I smell manure. It's coming out of your ears.::Norman Burroughs: Fucking bitch.
Things ain't cool at the local pool
Things ain't cool at the local pool
Plot
When Chand, the only child of wealthy widower, Jwalaprasad Raiseazam, insists on seeing his to-be bride, Beena, who meets with him and refuses to marry him. Unable to face her father, Kedarnath, she runs away and ends up coming to the rescue of a woman, Roopa, and moving in with her. She then gets to meet Roopa's brother, Rajan, a petty thief and gambler, and both are slowly drawn to each other and fall in love. She accomplishes herself as a dancer/singer and is able to improve their lives, while Chand gets married to Girja. Then their lives will be changed with the entry of a male named Pran - who has a diary that holds dark secrets from the past, which he will soon misuse for blackmail - changing everyone's lives forever.
The stage was set again
And I still didn't notice exactly what was going on there
Did I hear you say something?
Or was it another childish innuendo?
I chose to be alone
Now I can't complain
I've been locked-out before
But now your welcome mat has been pulled from beneath my feet
Will I still be getting my turns?
Now I know I should have made my move some time ago
I chose to be alone
Now I can't complain
I'll just mope around for awhile
Because it's all that I can do
The hardest part of making my mistakes
I always rub them in my face
What have I done?
I hope you'll never known
Why would you care anyway?
Do you still talk about me?
I know it sounds so silly, but it means so much to me
Do you still talk about me?
Another face in your audience
is what i hoped i'd never be!
Will I still be getting my turns?
Now I know I should have made my move some time ago
I chose to be alone
You were full of liquor and lines and you said it was
serious -- you could not see straight and you thought the
audience in the room was the same. On a perfect day for a
cigarette (not quite winter yet) you're an easy mark to
disappear. Oh skinny, you're sleeping in your car!
You fake a smile -- the lights are so bright they're
blinding you. You close your eyes (like there's something
to see inside of you). Words fail tonight -- you can't
get your jaw to cooperate. You change your mind.
We bought every record in the dollar bin; every single
one of them was a frozen cry. We sat and watched the city
go to sleep every night. There will be big blue pools for
swimming in and swings for sitting in -- we'll get off
the grid. We'll drift like continents. We'll never be
missed.
You fake a smile -- the lights are so bright they're
blinding you. You close your eyes (like there's something
to see inside of you). Words fail tonight -- you can't
get your jaw to cooperate. You change your mind.
The night was plagued by storms
People came in swarms
Trying to keep warm
All to the house of the Overlord
Through the night they came
Came for food and game
The poor, weak, the lame
All to the house of the Overlord
All through the year they would work and they'd sweat
And wait for the time of the year
Wait for the time when the man from the mansion
Would open his house and appear
Wealthy and regal, inviting the people
To sit at the tables and dine
Drinking their health he would serve them himself
She said "Man, I'll see you at 10 a.m."
But I can't look at that same old face again
I've been 'round her too long and I need to be off on my own
Maybe I'm wrong, too bad, too late, I'm gone
Maybe I'm wrong, too bad, too late, I'm gone
I can't stand the ticking she makes all day
And her hands, moving much too slow for me
And at five every night I look at her "Goodbye" and go home
If it ain't right, too bad, too late, I'm gone
If it ain't right, too bad, too late, I'm gone
End of my nerves crying "Mutiny, mutiny"
Everything's synchronised too much for me
Into the boss with a mind to be free
Squirting my fountain pen into his tea
And I'm gone, yes I am
And I'm gone
And I'm gone
Nancy was a farmer's daughter everything her Daddy taught her honestly, honestly
And even though her Pa was poor he always kept within the law and so did she, so did she
Because there's no shame in workin' in the rain
He's using every day to shape his daughter's character
For someone's son to marry her
On the day her Momma died he promised to protect the pride of family, family
And as he left the hospital he vowed if it was possible they'd both be free, both be free
Then came to court her, Clancy Clearwater
Rich gifts he bought her from them big stores
And her old man fancied that she's wed Clancy
A dude ranch owner from Arizona
A real fine dancer, slicked up romancer
He got this answer from his fair Nancy
No no no, I won't go, No no no, I won't go
Clancy came complaingin to the farmer did his brain in, couldn't understand, understand
Rich and pretty looking she'd not even do the cooking if she gave her hand, gave her hand
She'd be wearing Satin, reading literature in Latin, life'd not be hard, not be hard
Every day he finds a crowded spot
To assemble his battered old soapbox stand
Smiles as he climbs to the very top
The good Lord's book in his hand
All day long he stands telling the throng
The price of their terrible ways
Telling them all just where they go wrong
And how they'll eventually pay
People fly past don't bother to stop
To listen to the man on top of the box
Beneath their breath they quietly say
We'd better look the other way, yeah
We'd better look the other way
Night draws on and people go home
His eyes light up, his smile is broad
Confident now that he has shown
A few more people the Lord
I wish I could be home in summertime
My friends are dancing now and drinking wine
But you know, yes you know just who's to blame
For why I can't rejoin my friends again
I just want to live for me, you see
I'm needing freedom now I'm free
I wish I could return to break the lies
That dull the peoples' minds and shut their eyes
But you know, yes you know just who's to blame
The people all must play the party games
None of them would hark to me, you see
They think they're free and not like me
I wish I could be home now winter's here
My friends are laughing now and drinking beer
But you know, yes you know just who's to blame
For why I can't rejoin my friends again
I just want to live for me, you see
Nothing you do could make me feel towards you
What you obviously feel towards me
Nothing I hear from you is more than a mere excuse
Confirming my every fear
And that's that even if dogs could fly that you and I
Never could however hard we try
Get things back together then do all the little things again
We did before the gulf became too wide
Nothing you do can make your words appear true
Too consistent were your lies to me
Nothing you say could mean the same things again
Jackdaw… keep away from my back door
Jackdaw, don't build your nest round here no more
I think it's time that you flew
Nothin' left for you
Stole my money
Every cent
Seems that I've got to
Rent a tent
You've stolen half my life
Darkness all around and not a sound
Look what I've found, a sad old clown
Then my favourite toy, when just a boy
His magic voice, now there's no noise
I was happy then, when I was ten
But as I grew, my problems too
Work another day, the usual way
I'm bound to say, I cannot stay
Now, after all these years, the atmosphere's
Far to the East in sand and sweat the Knight he rides
Whilst in the keep of Castle Deep his maiden bride
Sitting by the window at her spinning wheel
Watching for the glint of sun on shining steel
Unknowing that day's sun has seen the battle never won
And soul and soldier split by cruel sword
Such holy war, Crusaders die and maidens cry
Lonely now, she wanders through the evening rain
Unaware that far away her love lies slain
Sadly standing gazing t'wards the setting sun
Can't say nothing new
Old words won't do
So I think I'll leave it all unsaid
Words used before
Can say no more
So I think I'll leave is unsaid
When words become violence
Friends say to take it easy
I won't and they wonder why
I can't give up thaht easy
Lay me down and die
Sat where it's cool and shady
Could age take the taste away
I met a widow lady
Couldn't waste a day
That was my Indian Summer
That was my Indian Summer
She said she'd lost her husband
I told her I'd lost my wife
Those years together had been the best of my whole life
Friends say we ought to marry
I smile and I shake my head
One wife will make you happy
I just have to tell you girl that I'm in tune with you
You just tipped the scales my way I saw your notes were true
Made my mind up now you got to come and sing with me
Something tells me by your tone we won't sing out of key
I just love the way you move you sure can sing the blues
Almost love the way you look more than the tunes you choose
Got to have you in my band to sing along with me
Something tells me by your tone you're good at harmony
Sing it high and sing it low but sing it all the while
Sing it most in majors 'cos the minors' not my style
If we need to change the tune we'll change it when we're bored
Saa ryoute wo hirogete
Issho ni te wo tataite arukou
Hashiridasu toki ni wa
Koko he kite tomo ni hajimeyou
Betsuni dare yori saki ni aruite ikou
Nante kimochi wa nakutte ne
Dakara to itte dare ka no ushiro kara
Tsuiteku wake demo nai kedo ne
Kimira no dare ka ga
YES! datte sakenda toki ni wa
Boku wa narande
YES! datte sakebu darou
Saa ryoute wo hirogete
Issho ni te wo tataite arukou
Hashiri dasu toki ni wa
Koko he kite tomo ni hajimeyou
Kimi tachi ga boku no hokori
Kudaranaku mieru mainichi no naka ni wa
Shiawase no TORIKKU kakuretete
Sore wa kanarazu minna de wakachiaeru
You ni tsukurarete iru kara ne
Jouzu ni katsu koto
Nante dekinakute mo ii
Sono toki wa boku to
Umai koto makete miyou
Saa ryoute wo hirogete
Issho ni te wo tataite arukou
Kimi tachi no koe ga shiteru
Mou nani mo kowaku nante nai
Mou hitori bocchi janai
Saa ryoute wo hirogete
Issho ni te wo tataite arukou
Saa ryoute wo hirogete
Issho ni te wo tataite arukou
Hashiri dasu toki ni wa
Koko he kite tomo ni hajimeyou
If you go out tonight in Waverley Park
Don't hail the carriage you'll meet in the dark
Ain't no call for laughter, my words you must mark
Or you'll be on the Waverley Stagecoach
Some twenty years since or a similar while
The Mayor of the City, his wife and his child
They boarded the carriage but inside a mile
Were flung dead from the Waverley Stagecoach
They say that the wheels on the coach are bright red
Stained with the blood that's come from the dead
The driver is fire and the horses are white
And it claims anybody that travels by night
You can laugh all you like but you'll laugh on your own
There's eighty-five people from this town alone
In a short twenty years have been murdered and thrown
Needing sleep and hot and dirty on I drove through Alberquerque
I had one eye on the mirror for the law
When I pulled in for some gasoline, six house from El Paso
Seemed New Mexico went on for evermore
I was talkin' to the pump man, and you should have seen him jump, man
When I told him I was heading for the Heights
He said, “Wait on 'til tomorrow 'cos a few miles from Socorro
Is a place you'll never leave by light of night”
There's only buzzards and lizards and ornerary critturs
You've run out of luck if you get stuck in Trombone Gulch
Well I laughed and left him standing, put a big tip in his hand
And drove on out ignoring all his shouts of thanks
But a few miles from Socorro I discovered to my horror
That his shouts had meant he hadn't filled the tank
I knew I wasn't beaten yet, I stumbled from the sedan
Cursing everyone from Satan up to God
And I pushed it to ledge and pushed it out across the edge
And knew the law would never see it from the road
And the dust came like a blizzard, I got bitten by a lizard
And I fell down into canyons all the time
But I kept the road beside me, 'cos I had to have it guide me
All the way to safety and the borderline
When the sun came up from sleepin' and the morning came in creeping
I could see a signpost just on up ahead
It said “Welcome to Socorro! Did you like to ride our trombone?
The skies were blue and gentle
The sands were soft and fine
And when you'd finally spent all, baby
You total cost was time
Heaven was an island
Where anger was a crime
The seas were calm and steady
The trees and flowers bowed
To breezes ever ready
To cool the heated brow
Heaven was an island
That couldn't happen now
Your father's name was freedom
Your mother's name was peace
And if one day you need 'em, honey
You'll find them not with ease
For heaven is an island
Can't say nothing new
Old words won't do
So I think I'll leave it all unsaid
Words used before
Can say no more
So I think I'll leave is unsaid
When words become violence
What could be better than silence?
See that hag down there by the stream
There's no trouble she hasn't seen
Once they called her Riverboat Queen
Her evil reigned supreme
Ruled with the gun
Fearful of none
Murdered for gain
Long was her reign
Drank with the men
Foulmouthed and mean
Riverboat Queen
She took lovers, threw them away
Gave them to her pirates to play
Then it happened one tragic day
She really falls in love
Wakes in the morn
Finds he has gone
Up on the deck
There by his neck
Hung from the mast
Oh, how she screams
Riverboat Queen
Down the galley ladder she treads
All her crewmen drunk in their beds
Puts a ball in each of their heads
Then blows the ship to hell
Swims to the shore
Pirate no more
Now she's a shell
Ageing, unwell
Exiled, ignored
Left to her dreams
Riverboat Queen
I just have to tell you girl that I'm in tune with you
You just tipped the scales my way I saw your notes were true
Made my mind up now you got to come and sing with me
Something tells me by your tone we won't sing out of key
I just love the way you move you sure can sing the blues
Almost love the way you look more than the tunes you choose
Got to have you in my band to sing along with me
Something tells me by your tone you're good at harmony
Sing it high and sing it low but sing it all the while
Sing it most in majors 'cos the minors' not my style
If we need to change the tune we'll change it when we're bored
But something tells me by your tone we'll stay her in accord
Wears grass skirts and she gently flirts with me
I don't know what she sees in me
Serenades with her ukelele
Sings me soft South Sea lullabies
Hula, hula, hula girl
Hula, hula girl
Hula, hula hula girl
Hula, hula girl
Dances gaily, she loved me daily
I can't say what she does to me
Sailing home with my Polynesian queen
Bright the light through my window pane
Shield my eyes from the beam
Keep the day from my aching brain
I had a Dream
Walked me down to the town last night
Sat me down by the stream
As I dozed in the fading light
I had a Dream
Saw a man and I saw you there
Swear you looked like a Queen
In your eyes as he touched your hair
You had a Dream
I had a Dream
I had a Dream
Who could care, who would sympathise
Should someone come in between
It could be that I'll realise
I had a Dream
Would I dare ask the truth of you
If t'were real what I've seen
Were you there? If I only knew
That I had a Dream
I had a Dream
See that hag down there by the stream
There's no trouble she hasn't seen
Once they called her Riverboat Queen
Her evil reigned supreme
Ruled with the gun
Fearful of none
Murdered for gain
Long was her reign
Drank with the men
Foulmouthed and mean
Riverboat Queen
She took lovers, threw them away
Gave them to her pirates to play
Then it happened one tragic day
She really falls in love
Wakes in the morn
Finds he has gone
Up on the deck
There by his neck
Hung from the mast
Oh, how she screams
Riverboat Queen
Down the galley ladder she treads
All her crewmen drunk in their beds
Puts a ball in each of their heads
Then blows the ship to hell
Swims to the shore
Pirate no more
Now she's a shell
Ageing, unwell
Exiled, ignored
Left to her dreams
Your Momma caught me rockin' in a place she thought was shockin'
If it wasn't for the stocking that she found around my neck
I think she wouldn't care a little but she hit me like a skittle
And I landed in the middle of the DJ's deck
Your Momma caught me walkin' with a blonde I was a talkin'
And I didn't hear her stalkin' up behind me on the street
I tried to make her laugh it off,I saw she wouldn't have it
When she threw me at the traffic, well, I knew that I was beat
Seven sore bruises, your Momma's big shoes did
For messin' 'round with floosies while your back was turned
She ravaged my poor legs, savaged my forehead
I wish I was dead, you know I sure got burned
Your Momma caught me holding close a girl like we were soldered
And I guess she thought my olden days had all returned again
Because she threw me 'cross her shoulder, rammed my head into a boulder
Crossed by your own kind
You're lost but you don't find
Grope through the dark blindly
Search and you hope find the
Friends that you don't need
Their trends make your mind bleed
Their ways can't be your ways
Their days will be short days
Life is a bad time
Using your mind wrong
Dreams are for night time
Leaving your days long
Drowned in your own Hell
You turned to the Big Spell
You found that you soon fell
And pounds in your hands welcomed
Friends that you don't need
Their trends make your mind bleed
Their ways can't be your ways
Their days will be short days
Life is a bad time
Using your mind wrong
Dreams are for night time
I've been told about the house on the hill
So high and old, the house on the hill
Say that there's a King Rat who wears a judge's black cap
And I wouldn't go near the house on the hill
The story goes 'bout the house on the hill
That when it snows around the house on the hill
The rat becomes a maiden, her soul endowed by Satan
And I wouldn't go near the house on the hill
As is her sin, yeah, in the house on the hill
She lures travellers into the house on the hill
Enchants them with her charms then she falls on and devours them
She pulls my leg and stretches my imagination
Thunder and lightnin' couldn't tear us apart
She puckers her lips up and proffers me an invitation
No two-bit crowbar could prise us apart
She brightens my day and I think I can say
She's altered my life in an incredible way
I'll buy her a ring and legalise the whole thing
Then fly to the country with her under my wing
She sews my clothes up and dominates my conversation
But I could never describe the things she does to my heart
She cooks me food that aggravates my indigestion
Jeremiah Cade though a singer by trade
He couldn't sing a note without the liquor he made
He could never make it big 'til the night he took a swig
From his homebrewed Belladonna Moonshine
At the start of his show from behind his banjo
He's take out a bottle and he'd drink it down slow
Then he'd sing like a choir and his strings'd catch fire
From his home brewed Belladonna Moonshine
Where Jeremiah went was the biggest event
That the people ever saw , it was money well spent
They'd travel from afar, Jeremiah was a star
On his home brewed Belladonna Moonshine
Everybody cried when Jeremiah died
A bottle and his banjo lyin' at his side
The cause was the same as the cause of his fame
It was home brewed Belladonna Moonshine
Jeremiah's gone but his song's live on
Cos he's got em all singin' up in Kingdom Come
But St Peter at the gate made him promise not to make
Now that you've got over your operation
We've arranged for you to have a well deserved vacation
We all clubbed together just to round up the fee
To give you a month to sit just watching the sea
Have a pleasant convalescence
We all wish you well
It's ever so sunny with lots of picture windows
Hundreds of aspidistras placed in tidy rows
Nice friendly people and there's plenty of tea
I'm sure that you will like it, how I wish it were me
No time to get bored, there's conversations
Discussing the minor detail of everyone's operations
You can take it easy and your bed will be made
The poet wrote a sonnet to the lady in the bonnet
Whom he saw across the river from his spot beneath a tree
He wrote into his ditty that he found the lady pretty
But he really felt too tired to leave his spot beneath the tree
Won't you cast your eyes toward me
That my own may say I love thee
Oh at last I see a lady I would wed
Pray don't walk away and leave me
For although t'would surely grieve me
It would hurt me more to have to raise my head
She looked across the river and he felt his body shiver
But she didn't see and walked on by his spot beneath the tree
The bonnet in a minute disappeared and all within it
Sunday nights that you want her like velvet cake
Sweet heart can bargain half price mistakes
She will go down with her ship like a good captain
You're sitting on the dock playing for an audience of one
Pacing your apartment, linoleum floors
Get a call from an old friend, she never liked him before
He will drive all over three lanes, you sit tight, shotgun
Windshield wipers waving for an audience of one
You came out from the country wearing mama's clothes
You were born in the city with daddy's domino's
You need a record you can move to, well, we got one
Drop the needle, we are playing for an audience of one
Drop the needle, we are playing for an audience of one
One gets all of you, two's jealous, three gets even less
Four divides you up then you're left pleasing all your guests
Reach out, you point a finger and touch the globe
Spin it round and where it stops you got to pack your bags and go
Land in the Mojave desert, you sing for the sun
Three's too many when you're playing for an audience of one
Two's too busy when you're playing for an audience of one
Bathed in moonlight, devil worshippers chanting
Throughout the night music grew ever haunting
High on her throne, Satan seated beside her
Face cold as stone, Prince of Darkness to guide her
Priestess, priestess
Priestess, priestess
Merciless, Merciless
Murderess, Murderess
Poor helpless child brought unto Devil's daughter
Crowd's eyes went wild, eager to see the torture
Laid at her feet, stretched across marble altar
Ritual complete, drew her sword for the slaughter
The night was plagued by storms
People came in swarms
Trying to keep warm
All to the house of the Overlord
Through the night they came
Came for food and game
The poor, weak, the lame
All to the house of the Overlord
All through the year they would work and they'd sweat
And wait for the time of the year
Wait for the time when the man from the mansion
Would open his house and appear
Wealthy and regal, inviting the people
To sit at the tables and dine
Drinking their health he would serve them himself
The moon was bright above the bay
Our blood ran cold at what we saw
Upon the sea a fleet did lay
A score of Viking craft or more
We watched the Nordic devils land
And fought the battle on the shore
Our dead soon lay upon the sand
The Danes had won this bloody war
Vikings, they came
Vikings, they've slain
Vikings, they came
Vikings, they've slain
Put us in chains
We sailed the world in Viking ships
Doomed to life upon the waves
Unless the helmsman cracks his whip
Through the green May morning came a lonely man
Wearing diamond covered garments and a slapstick in his hand
And the new day dawning brought a wistful smile
To the face of the Harlequin
Was it rain or tears that smudged his painted face
As he wandered where the breezes took him on from place to place
And the strain of years behind his wistful smile
Lined the face of the Harlequin
The laughter of the King and Queen
Of every country he had seen
The laughter ringing in his ears like thunder
The genius of his comic mime
So in demand so long a time
You're not smiling
I've come a long way just to see you smiling
You're not laughin'
I've come a long long way just to hear you laughing
I guess that things have changed since I've been gone
Because something, somehow, somewhere has gone wrong
You're not lovin'
I've come a long way just to feel your loving
You're not near me
I've come a long long way just to feel you near me
I cannot really claim to understand
'cos maybe there is something that I lack
Or maybe there's been somethin' underhand
Goin' on behind my back
You really make me feel so insecure
I fel like packin' up and goin' back
Or maybe we should try a natural cure
Come on babe let's hit the sack
Now you're lyin'
I've not come all this way to hear you lyin'
Now you're cryin'
Why do folks abuse me when I don't even know 'em?
Others shout for the money that I know I don't even owe 'em
It's these and many other things that causes me to cry
You ain't heard the half of it and neither have I
Why do old ladies hit me when I help 'em cross the street
Even my old dog bit me when I offered him things to eat
Getting' sick and tired of life, just can't stand the pace
Everything I do just bounces back in my face
I'm gonna buy me an island in the sun
Stay there 'til my days are done
Life's gonna be coconut trees and swimmin' in the sea for me
No-one's gonna take that from me
Every time I wash my car it starts to pour with rain
Wash it for a second time, ski'es open up all over again
I'd like to put it up for sale and go to work by 'bus
I had a friend who had a friend that knew a man
Who didn't look unlike Toulouse Lautrec
And every chance he'd get this man would play his Pipes of Pan
Invoking scenes that no-one could forget
The one dreary day the man began to play
And the greyness of the day just blew away
And as he stood there in a trance
The people all around began to dance
And as they listened every trace
Of lines of care were gone from every face
Then came something strange the piper's tune began to change
And broke the spell that held the village folk
Al lof those who saw declared there was a man no more
As all around him grew a misted cloak
Though the music played the man was seen to fade
And vanish in a sweetly scented smoke
And vanish in a sweetly scented smoke