Jonathan may refer to:
In people:
In fiction:
In other uses:
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson (born 11 April 1960) is an English broadcaster, journalist and writer who specialises in motoring. He is best known for his role on the BBC TV show Top Gear along with co-presenters Richard Hammond and James May. He also writes weekly columns for The Sunday Times and The Sun.
From a career as a local journalist in Northern England, Clarkson rose to public prominence as a presenter of the original format of Top Gear in 1988. Since the mid-1990s, Clarkson has become a recognised public personality, regularly appearing on British television presenting his own shows and appearing as a guest on other shows. As well as motoring, Clarkson has produced programmes and books on subjects such as history and engineering. From 1998 to 2000 he also hosted his own chat show, Clarkson.
His opinionated but humorous tongue-in-cheek writing and presenting style has often generated much public reaction to his viewpoints. His actions both privately and as a Top Gear presenter have also sometimes resulted in criticism from the media, politicians, pressure groups and the public.
Plot
Lucas Exclusive Jonathan Agassi arrives by boat to a beautiful Mediterranean island but to his surprise the town is completely deserted: streets empty, beaches cleared and stores abandoned; as if in mid-day everyone simply disappeared. Suddenly two men on motorbikes (Will Helm and Kriss Aston) knock Jonathan down as they race by him. The men take Jonathan back to their refuge and explain the forsaken town. Five days prior they were given a final news cast. The anchorman read out the horrific news that world would come to an end. "It is time to be with family, friends and loved ones. These are our last days." Since then all signals, cell phones, everything has been cut off. The two men have chosen to stay as everyone else fled to island. The men now have no choice but to live as if there is no tomorrow and fulfill their fantasies before sunset. But all is not as it seems when Jonathan digs deeper into the island and reveals an intricate plot by a fame-seeking killer (Damien Crosse) who will do anything for fans to praise him. The action-packed struggle between the truth and the end of the world has begun as the men brutally fight and screw to survive THE LAST DAY!
Keywords: anal-sex, condom, flip-flop-sex, gay, hardcore, oral-sex, sex
Live Like There's No Tomorrow
Hope, Love & Comfort
3 Siblings, 2 Bedrooms, 1 Bathroom, ZERO TOLERANCE!
Plot
The film is named after the local football stadium located in the town of Be'er Sheva in southern Israel. Vasermil tells the story of three teenagers who live in the same tough neighborhood, growing up in an unforgiving environment, pinning their hopes on football as a way out. Shlomi lives with his widowed mother, little sister, and step-father and works as a pizza delivery boy. Adiel, of Ethiopian descent, has to look after his young brother and sick mother. Dima, a new immigrant from Russia, has a father who is unemployed and a mother who works as a cleaning lady. The three teens are recruited by the coach of the local football team to take part in the Be'er Sheva open youth championship, held, traditionally on Independence Day at the Vasermil stadium . Learning to work together as a team is the key to success in the tournament and success in the tournament means getting noticed by the scouts of the local football empire - Hapoel Be'er Sheva. In order to win the tournament they will have to play as a team, overcome their differences, get over their sense of inferiority and prejudice.
Keywords: one-word-title
Plot
Eight year old Peter Carlson tries to save his family from eviction by "Blackmailing Santa". When times are tough, Peter discovers his next door neighbor might be the real Santa Claus. With the help of his trusty sidekick Cousin Anthony, the two venture on a wild adventure to discover the true meaning of Christmas.
What do you want for Christmas?
Plot
Set in New York, 'Whipped' is about a group of three single men, buddies from college, whom meet every Sunday at their local diner hangout to discuss their favorite sport: scoring with women. Their conversations (always revealing, sometimes revolting, and occasionally riotous) revolve around the weekend past and the girls that these three egotistical and narcissistic swingers were able or unable to "scam." However, when all three single guys unknowingly go after the same "perfect" woman, Mia (Amanda Peet), they begin to question their skirt-chasing ways. Squabbling breaks out amongst the group as they compete for her attention and suddenly, the fate of their ritual and their friendships, becomes uncertain. Who will win the morning round table bragging rights? You'll be surprised.
Keywords: bar, basketball, brooklyn-bridge, cherry-pie, condom, cyclist, dating, dildo, diner, flashback
Scam or be Scammed!
Never underestimate the power of a woman.
... Lick Closer [cf. American Beauty (1999)]
Dating Just Became a Contact Sport
Zeke: That chick could suck a taxi driver through immigration.
Brad: So you see, I got this chick back at my apartment, right. She thinks I'm her best friends brother.::Zeke: Why the fuck does she think that?::Brad: Because I told her I was. It was the only way she'd come home with me.::Eric: Do you even know her best friend?::Brad: Of course not, I never know their best friend, but if they believe I know their best friends, then I'm like... Safe.::Zeke: What the fuck you mean safe?::Brad: Safe, you know, it's like she wants to know you have something in common before she lets you in. It's kinda like the college connection. When you meet a chick from college she automatically feels comfortable lettin you nail her. She thinks that you have this common bond all because you go to the same school. All of the sudden,(snaps fingers), SAFE.
Plot
A sadistic count tortures and murders his unfaithful wife and her lover, then removes their hearts from their bodies. Years later, the count remarries and the new wife experiences nightmares and hauntings. The ghosts of the slain return to exact their bloody revenge, until their hearts are destroyed.
Keywords: acid, blood-transfusion, bondage, brandy, carriage, castle, cremation, disfigurement, dissection, drugs
A mad, sadistic scientist on the loose!
So weird! ...So shocking! Do YOU dare see it!
Muriel Arrowsmith: You had your revenge. Why don't you kill me? Kill both of us.::Dr. Stephen Arrowsmith: You, I will kill you, you tart, you. You and your filthy friend. But death, my dear, must come to you only after I've torn from your bodies all the suffering and pain a human being can stand, and you don't know yet how long it takes to die of pain.::Muriel Arrowsmith: You're a monster.
Dr. Stephen Arrowsmith: [to Muriel Arrowsmith] I've asked you before not to come down to my laboratory while I'm busy with my experiments.
Circles in the sky
White as paper fly
Sound of seagulls crying fills the air
High above the lonely one is there
Jonathan he cares
To feel better
Like the passing wind
Swooping down again
Waitin' for the sun to turn to night
Find him miles away in endless flight
Longing to be free
Telling you and me
Give me wings to fly
Tell me why, tell me why
The answer must be heard
And from a lonely bird
He's giving us a reason to believe See the painted silver sunlight on his wing
As he sails upon the wind and slowly skyward
Flying as to music you can hear him sing
Like the windsong on the breeze he seems to sigh
Give me wings to fly
Tell me why, tell me why
The answer must be heard
And from a lonely bird
He's showing us the way we can be free
Jonathan, Jonathan, where have you been ?
I was searching for you since you once left me.
Tell me, Boy, did you ever miss
your sweet home and a single kiss,
oh, Jonathan, Jonathan, where have you been ?
Mother, oh, Mother dear don’t you cry,
I also missed you, but I had to fly,
fly away from my once loved home,
fly away, weak and on my own,
Mother, oh, Mother dear don’t you cry.
Oh please, forgive your son,
Son, will you stay by my side,
I have to leave you once again,
don’t forget the place you can hide.
Mother, oh, Mother dear don’t you cry.
Solo
Fly my only son,
Circles in the sky
White as paper fly
Sound of seagulls crying fills the air
High above the lonely one is there
Jonathan he cares
To feel better
Like the passing wind
Swooping down again
Waitin' for the sun to turn to night
Find him miles away in endless flight
Longing to be free
Telling you and me
Give me wings to fly
Tell me why, tell me why
The answer must be heard
And from a lonely bird
He's giving us a reason to believe
See the painted silver sunlight on his wing
As he sails upon the wind and slowly skyward
Flying as to music you can hear him sing
Like the windsong on the breeze he seems to sigh
Give me wings to fly
Tell me why, tell me why
The answer must be heard
And from a lonely bird
U jonathane uyi judana
Uyi sihlanyana
U'mngisana uhi nzulana
Kodwa u jonathane u m'afrika
Nge nzalo
Irebele, elehlaza elemile
Entre guitare et fusil
Jonathan a bien choisi
Ses chansons sont des pav? s
Des br? lots
Qui donnent des ailes aux marmots
Sa musique a fait rouiller
Les barbel? s
Et sci? bien des barreaux
A Soweto, dans le ghetto
Jonathan pourtant ne porte aucun drapeau
Entre le noir et le blanc
Jonathan n'a pas choisi
Car depuis la nuit des temps
Il sait aussi
Que tous les salauds sont gris
Que l'homme est un loup pour l'homme
Un peu partout
Jonathan sait pourtant
Qu'? Soweto, dans le ghetto
Les loups blancs sont plus sauvages et plus m? chants
Jonathan est un peu feuj' et un peu fou
Un peu british, un peu zoulou
Mais Jonathan est africain avant tout
Rebelle, vivant et debout
Entre les loups, les agneaux
Jonathan, je t'ai choisi
Tu m'as racont? Neil Aggett
Et Steve Biko
Assassin? s par les fachos
Moi je t'ai parl? d'Eloi Machoro
Des enfoir? s qu'ont eu sa peau
Et puis Lo? c, et puis nos flics
Jonathan, pr? te-moi ta guitare que j' t'explique
Jonathan, je suis comme toi un peu fou
Un peu kanak, un peu zoulou
Un peu beur, un peu basque, un peu tout
Rebelle, vivant et debout
Entre guitare et fusil
Jonathan a bien choisi
Ses chansons sont des pav? s
Des br? lots
Qui donnent des ailes aux marmots
Sa musique a fait rouiller
Les barbel? s
Et sci? s bien des barreaux
A Soweto, dans le ghetto
This little trunk holds Jonathan's love letters
Bound so neatly in ribbons of silk
Jonathan had such beautiful penmanship
Written on parchment as white as milk
Jonathan's words arranged chronologically
Month by month and then day by day
Jonathan surely wrote me quite frequently
Jonathan had such a lot to say
Chorus: My sweet Jonathan wrote me constantly
All he hoped to be, all he dreamed
How the world was too bright and beautiful
How the people weren't all they seemed
Jonathan wrote when he was out traveling
How he hated each social affair
Jonathan swore he soon would come back to me
We'd get married and settle somewhere
Jonathan wrote with caring and tenderness
How he loved me so simple and pure
Jonathan said those colorful party girls
All were too forward to be endured
Chorus
Jonathan wrote me on a clear summer's day
Told me with sorrow we'd never wed
Some little tramp accused him of raping her
Jonathan never was in her bed
She was expecting one or two little ones
Honor would force him to make her wife
Jonathan swore he'd always remember me
All through his terrible married life
Chorus
Jonathan wrote once more in his perfect hand
Told me that when all the fuss should die
And his rich bride went off for the holidays
He would come just for one last goodbye
Jonathan came at midnight on Christmas eve
One more sweet letter was in his hand
Saying that all his wealth was such misery
Swearing his life was at my command
Chorus
This little trunk holds Jonathan's love letters
Reading them still can be lots of fun
This little trunk holds Jonathan's every word
Jonathan, call again
Take me to Coney Island
Take me on the train
Kiss me while I calculate
And calibrate and heaven's sake
Don't make me explain
Just tolerate my little fist
Tugging on your forest chest
I don't wanna talk about
I don't wanna talk about anything
I don't wanna talk about
I don't wanna talk about anything
Jonathan, anything
And anyone that you have done
Has gotta be alright with me
If she's part of
The reason you are how you are
She's alright with me
Just tolerate my little fist
Tugging on your forest chest
I don't wanna talk about
I don't wanna talk about anything
I don't wanna talk about
I don't wanna talk about anything
You like to captain
A capsized ship
But I like watching you live [x2]
Jonathan, call again
Take me to Coney Island
Take me on the train
Kiss me while I calculate
And calibrate and heaven's sake
Don't make me explain
Just tolerate my little fist
Tugging on your forest chest
I don't wanna talk about
I don't wanna talk about anything
I don't wanna talk about
Straight out of Boston
To reinvent the modern rock and roll
He put down the cigarette and dropped out of B.U.
Too sensitive for this world
Too sensitive for that girl
He could look right through the Cezans
If he had a girlfriend
A g-i-r-l-f-r-e-n
In the astral plane
Too sensitive for this world
Too sensitive for that girl
Please God don't let me end up like Jonathan Richman
Turn the radio off
He was never called an asshole
As he would walk past the Fenway
Modern girls modern rock and roll
He's straight you're stoned
Too sensitive for this world
Too sensitive for that girl
Please God don't let me end up like Jonathan Richman
Turn the radio off
Please God don't let me end up like Jonathan
Please God don't let me end up like Jonathan
i think we were five when we met
we were so alive then and yet
we would not survive
now i know
yours was not a face to grow old
oh oh no my old soul
you left me much too soon
how i love you
oh i
i was so surprised when you left
i was like a child how i wept
but i guess it's ok now
go to sleep
and i will pray the lord your soul to keep
oh oh no my old soul
you left me much too soon
much much too soon
how i love you
oh i
somewhere down the road i will be walking
and everything i know will be following
maybe then i'll see you
and i will tell you
you always were an angel to me