'Comedian' is featured as a movie character in the following productions:

Alone (2014)

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Genres: Crime, Short,

Actors Jaime Zevallos (actor), LaJuan Mo Johnson (director), Leila Almas (actress), Dior Allen (actor), Daniel Chaffin (actor), Dominic Elliott-Spencer (producer), Dominic Elliott-Spencer (actor), Dominic Elliott-Spencer (writer), Jamie Lynn Edwards (producer), James Douglas Stevens (producer), Samantha Dalton (actress), Naomi Ross-Pena (actress), Renee Paulus (actor),

Virgin Produced: Comedy Vault (2012)

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Genres: Comedy,

Actors Barry Katz (producer), Zach Selwyn (actor), Kirk Fox (actor), Huntley Ritter (producer), Ben Gleib (actor), Justin Berfield (producer), Jason Felts (producer), Naia Cucukov (producer), Rene Rigal (producer), Dan Ahdoot (actor), Michael C. Forman (producer), José Salazar (editor), Mike Winfield (actor), Rebecca Farrell (producer),

Passion to Profession (2011)

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Genres: Documentary,

Actors John Wood (actor), Alan Finney (actor), Alan Finney (actor), John Hipwell (editor), John Hipwell (actor), John Hipwell (writer), John Hipwell (producer), John Hipwell (director), John Safran (actor), Simon Palomares (director), Simon Palomares (producer), Simon Palomares (actor), Simon Palomares (writer), Kat Stewart (actress), Lucy Freeman (actress),

Man 2 Man: A Gay Man's Guide to Finding Love (2011)

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Genres: Documentary, Family, News,

Actors Ant (actor), Spencer Reed (actor), Christopher Hines (director), Christopher Hines (producer), Christopher Hines (producer), Marcus Fields (actor), Brendan O'Hara (actor), Patrick Perrine (actor), Alan Downs (actor), Travis Spackman (actor), Chad Casper (actor), Will Mahan (actor), Salvatore Garanzini (actor),

Levity (2003)

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Genres: Crime, Drama,

Quotes:

Manuel Jordan: I read a book that was written in the 11th century. A man said that there was five steps toward making amends. The first involved acknowledging what you did. The second involved remorse. The third involved making right with your neighbor. Like if you stole his chicken, you'd have to go and bring him another. Only then were you able to go to step four, which was making it right with God. But it wasn't until step five that you could really get redeemed. It had to do with being at the same place and the same situtation. That as it goes, you'd go and do something different. Only I can't bring Abner Easely back like he was some stolen chicken. Certainly made sure of that 23 years ago. And I don't believe in some God that's gonna open His arms to me even if I did. So there goes steps three and four. And as for step five, time makes sure we're never in the same place twice, no matter how much we wish it. Which is why, for me, I know I'll never be redeemed.

Miles Evans: For pay, I got a room at a hundred dollars a month, which you can work down to nothing if you'll help with cleaning.::Manuel Jordan: What makes you think I need a room?::Miles Evans: God told me. You're carrying your damn suitcase, man.

Miles Evans: You think God talks to me? We argue maybe, but He don't participate. It's all right. I'll see Him one day. When I do, I'm gonna whip His holy ass.

[Manuel notices a photo of Adele's brother]::Adele Easley: My brother. He's a statistic.::Manuel Jordan: I'm sorry.::Adele Easley: I know. Everybody is.

Sofia Mellinger: You smell like sex.::Manuel Jordan: Well, you smell like puke.

Miles Evans: You know, you could get lucky. God might decide to grade you on the curve.::Manuel Jordan: It wouldn't matter either way.::Miles Evans: You don't know what the hell you talking about, do you? Why be afraid of a God that you don't believe in? Oh, I know, it seems like people are making up shit so they can feel good about all the pain, all the cruelty, loss, violence, suffering, death. Famine, bigotry, small-mindedness, repression, depression, oppression. Want me to keep talking? 'Cause I can go on forever with this shit.::Manuel Jordan: No, I get the point.::Miles Evans: The point is: I believe in the lie. Never underestimate its power. Now, as for me, well, I'm lying through my teeth. I'll see you soon.

Manuel Jordan: Abner, put the gun down.::Abner Easley: What the fuck are you doing? Get the fuck out of here.

Miles Evans: I don't need you to believe. I just need you to clean.

Manuel Jordan: Is there justice?::Adele Easley: For criminals, yes. But for the rest of us? Not unless there's a God.::Manuel Jordan: Do you think there is?::Adele Easley: No. Thank God.

Actors Irene Litinsky (producer), Michael J. Harker (miscellaneous crew), Holly Hunter (actress), Morgan Freeman (producer), Sheena Larkin (actress), Michael Barnes (miscellaneous crew), Dorian Harewood (actor), Vlasta Vrana (actor), Kirsten Dunst (actress), Morgan Freeman (actor), Tony Calabretta (actor), Billy Bob Thornton (actor), Danny Blanco Hall (actor), Leah Holmes (miscellaneous crew), Charles Heaphy (miscellaneous crew),

Comedian (2002)

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Genres: Comedy, Documentary,

Taglines:

See a man who had everything, who did a show about nothing, try to come up with something.
There are no second acts in American lives. There are, however, a few hecklers.
You'll laugh, you'll cry. And it'll be because you missed the point completely.
If you loved 'Seinfeld', the same guy's in this.
A film about comedy with Jerry Seinfeld
Where does comedy come from?
At last, a film from Miramax that won't win a damn thing.
Jerry Seinfeld swearing. Only in theaters.
It's an excuse to eat candy for 81 minutes.
Without a doubt, the single most horrifying movie you'll ever see. (If you want to be a stand up comedian)

Quotes:

Comedian: The equivalent for a normal person would be to go into work each day in your underwear and try and do your job that you normally do. All of a sudden you can't do anything. That's how a comedian feels when he's doing a new bit.

Comedian: See, I'm not a 100% confident about this stuff and that's what kills me. If you're not 100% behind this you can't sell it.

Comedian: [showing his folders of jokes] If I'm doing a show and being Jewish, I can pull out the Jewish stuff. If I want to do dating, I can do dating.

Comedian: My parents retired to South Florida. They're gone now, but I'll tell you the truth, I have a beef with South Florida. I'll tell you, I don't know what it is. I'm sick about it, bitter. I sent two healthy 65-year old parents to South Florida. 30 years later - dead! I mean what is it, the water, the air - it's a death camp!

Comedian: Last year I thought I had lupus, has that happened to you yet? I was on the bus and I saw an ad, "Chances are that somebody on the bus has lupus." I look around, I'm the only one on the bus.

Comedian: [Pointing to that day's paper] Read this paragraph to me. Right there, now don't touch it.::Montreal Waitress: Oh I'm sorry. "Young standup comedian Orny Adams destroy, is that you? [Orny shows his ID badge] Orny Adams, is that your real name? Get out of town. No mom would name their child Orny Adams.

Comedian: What a cocksucker. He's such a cock, he doesn't know the F-he's talking about.::Other Appearance: Why?::Comedian: I'm going to sit there and let that guy talk to me like that?::Other Appearance: Wasn't, he didn't say anything bad, he just told you to relax. That's what I've been telling you. Just relax. Enjoy what's been happening.::Comedian: I'm going to start doing to what George does just sit there and smile.::Other Appearance: There's nothing he said that I would refute.

Comedian: I was huge. Bigger than life. I could be anywhere in the world. [laughter] [Cut to the airport] Nothing makes sense. I should be at St. Bart's. Nothing makes sense. [Cut back to the stage, in a depressing tone] I'm in a comedy club in Cleveland. [Back to airport] But that's what's working.

Comedian: If I get fired tomorrow, I'm a comic.

Comedian: I have no idea what the curve is, of when it's gonna... feel like it used to feel.::Comedian: When you're killing... you're up there killing, and you're miserable. That's how you'll know.

Actors Garry Shandling (actor), Colin Quinn (actor), Jerry Seinfeld (actor), Chris Rock (actor), Jay Leno (actor), Ray Romano (actor), Dom Irrera (actor), Richard Pryor (actor), Barry Katz (actor), Robert Klein (actor), Godfrey (actor), Bill Cosby (actor), Kevin Nealon (actor), Jerry Seinfeld (producer), George Wallace (actor),

Jenny Jones (1991)

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Genres: Drama, Talk-Show,

Actors Christina Tong (producer), Billy Pittard (miscellaneous crew), Christina Tong (miscellaneous crew), Christina Tong (miscellaneous crew), Paulo DeMello (editor), Natasha Giraldo (miscellaneous crew), Chad Bernhard (editor), Chad Bernhard (miscellaneous crew), Dominick Pupa (producer), Dominick Pupa (miscellaneous crew), David Michael Fordham (miscellaneous crew), Mike Leonardo (miscellaneous crew), John Zook (miscellaneous crew), Carrie Clifford (producer), Barry Murphy (editor),

Mike Douglas Presents (1984)

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Genres: Talk-Show,

Actors Louie Anderson (actor), Louie Anderson (actor), Burt Reynolds (actor), Carol Burnett (actress), Tanya Tucker (actress), Tanya Tucker (actress), Rita Coolidge (actress), Mike Douglas (actor), Rita Coolidge (actress), John Hamilton (producer), John Hamilton (writer), John Hamilton (director), Dick Arlett (producer), Dick Arlett (writer), Penguin San Diego Zoo (actor),

Raging Bull (1980)

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Genres: Biography, Drama, Sport,

Quotes:

Jake La Motta: I get ya's both in the ring, I'll give ya both a fuckin' beatin', ya both can fuck each other.

Jake La Motta: [talks about Janiro] I'm gonna open his hole like this. Please excuse my French. I'm gonna make him suffer. I'm gonna make his mother wish she never had him - make him into dog meat... He's a nice, a nice kid. He's a pretty kid, too. I mean I don't know, I gotta problem if I should fuck him or fight him.::Tommy Como: [laughs] You're crazy. Fuck him or fight him.::Salvy Batts: If you're really in love with that fucker, just watch out.::Jake La Motta: By who?::Salvy Batts: Janiro.::Jake La Motta: You mean, you want me to get him to fuck you?::Salvy Batts: Me?::Jake La Motta: Yeah.::Salvy Batts: No, I don't want him to fuck me.::Jake La Motta: I could do that easily.::Salvy Batts: How ya gonna do that?::Jake La Motta: Because I'll get youse both in a ring, I'll give youse both a fuckin' beatin', ya both can fuck each other.::Salvy Batts: I get all full of blood.::Jake La Motta: You're used to that.

Jake La Motta: Friends. They're in a huddle. Big business meeting. By the pool, they sit around and talk. Big deals. They make sure she can hear. Big Man. Get the fuck outta here. Big shot. Get 'em all in a back room, smack 'em around, no more big shot, without his gun. They're tough guys. They're all tough guys.

Joey LaMotta: What are ya thinkin' about? Ya keep lookin'. Where the fuck you going? You're dead! You're married! You're a married man, it's all over. Leave the young girls for me.

Joey LaMotta: She ain't the kind of girl you just fuck and forget about, this girl.::Jake La Motta: Joey, how many times I gotta tell ya? Why're you always cursin' when I'm talkin' to you? Don't do it around me. Do it around your friends.::Joey LaMotta: She's a, the kind of girl you bang and forget about - she's not like that. You gotta spend time with her, get involved, you know...::Jake La Motta: D'you bang her?::Joey LaMotta: No.::Jake La Motta: Tell me the truth.::Joey LaMotta: I just told you the truth. I tell you the truth the first time. You don't have to ask me again. I never do that. I always tell you the truth. If I did it, you would know. I took her out a couple of times.::Jake La Motta: You went out with her and you didn't try to fuck her?::Joey LaMotta: I try to fuck anything.

Joey LaMotta: They only gave him that fuckin' decision because he's goin' in the Army next week. That's the only reason.::Jake La Motta: I knocked him down. I don't know what else I gotta do. I don't know what I gotta do...::Joey LaMotta: You won and they robbed ya! They're miserable because their mothers take it up the fuckin' ass! That's why.::Jake La Motta: I've done a lot of bad things, Joey. Maybe it's comin' back to me. Who knows? I'm a jinx maybe. Who the hell knows?

Jake La Motta: You punch like you take it up the ass.

[Sugar Ray Robinson has just battered Jake La Motta half to death, but Jake has stayed on his feet]::Jake La Motta: You didn't get me down, Ray.

Joey LaMotta: If you win, you win. If you lose, you still win.

Joey LaMotta: [over the phone, when no one answers, not realizing it's Jake calling] Your mother sucks giant elephant dicks!

Actors Joe Pesci (actor), John Turturro (actor), Gil Perkins (actor), Dennis O'Neill (actor), Martin Scorsese (actor), Harvey Parry (actor), Chuck Hicks (actor), Robert De Niro (actor), Gene LeBell (actor), Ted Husing (actor), Michael Badalucco (actor), Marty Farrell (actor), Vincent Barbi (actor), Jimmy Williams (actor), Frank Vincent (actor),

Catskill Honeymoon (1950)

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Genres: Comedy, Music,

Actors Josef Berne (director), Nathan Cy Braunstein (editor), Mary LaRoche (actress), Max Bozyk (actor), Jack Kemp (editor), Hy Jacobson (composer), Hy Jacobson (producer), Julius Adler (actor), Michal Michalesko (actor), Henrietta Jacobson (actress), Jack Lamont (producer), Cookie Bowers (actor), Reizl Bozyk (actress), Dina Goldberg (actress), Avram Lax (actor),

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  Little Perfect Murdershow lyrics

  Little Perfect Murder

  Hope is a madman's dream
  When he finds out he's alone
  It's the poison that he takes
  It's the cancer in his bones
  'Truth or dare' he wispers
  Though it knows the ice's too thin
  It was hope that killed him
  But it were his fingerprints
  Somewhere there's someone
  Who somehow gets a thrill
  Of being perfect with an awful lot of guilt
  I never thought it'd come to this that I
  Even don't remember what I miss
  Little perfect murders come and go
  But they never die
  Is what she said
  'Maybe one day who knows'
  For crying out loud, it's just a term
  Made for those who end it
  And for you who can't confirm
  I'm the coat you're wearing
  When there's nothing left that fits
  I'm what you created
  You think there's more but this is it
  I know I hurt you
  I know I caused you pain
  You called me asshole

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  I'll Nevershow lyrics

  I'll Never

  Too many pictures are staring at me when I sleep
  Photographs remind me that I'm just a jealous creep
  But it's hard to loose a woman, when she is all you've got
  Everyday I shower and try to wash memories away
  But they're burned into my skin more and more each day
  The mirror doesn't talk but I know he knows a lot
  I'll never
  I'll never
  I'll never love to love again
  Sometimes I see your kids, god, they have grown
  Their father must be proud to call you his own
  He's got a wedding ring, and all I've got is Playboy
  Dear Santa, would it be just too much to ask
  To stick on 'Mr Perfect's face a jealous looking mask

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  Hey, Manshow lyrics

  Hey, Man

  Hey man, where are you now
  Are you alive somehow
  I thought you would take the plane
  Never to be seen or heard again
  Hey man, do you believe
  I'm sorry 'cause of your grief
  Fuck you I can't rely
  On anyone who's word is on stand-by
  I thought you thought I did not know
  I thought you thought I did not know it
  I thought that you thought
  I thought you thought I did not know it
  Hey man I do confess
  I'm happy you're in this mess
  This time I'm not your nurse
  I only hope it will get worse
  I thought you thought I did not know
  I thought you thought I did not know it
  I thought that you thought

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  Hate Is A Beershow lyrics

  Hate Is A Beer

  I know it sounds dumb but I get a hard-on
  From just sitting here and think
  About what you once said : 'Faith is a slice of bread,
  Hate is a beer you can't drink'
  There was a time, they told,
  Fools like me grew old, without knowing what they've killed
  But if I don't see by now what is 'lonely'
  I probably never will
  Don't tell me you did not know
  'Cause I told from the start
  That I would break your face
  If you tried to break my heart
  Sometimes I look at women,
  But they all look like dollarbills
  You're a bank which has been blown up
  And I'm waiting 'till it's rebuild
  Don't tell me you did not know
  'Cause I told from the start
  That I would break your face

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  Cold Turkeyshow lyrics

  Cold Turkey

  Temperature's rising
  Fever is high
  Can't see no future
  Can't see no sky
  My feet are so heavey
  So is my head
  I wish I was a baby
  I wish I was dead
  Cold turkey has got me on the run
  My body is aching
  Goose-pimple bone
  Can't see no body
  Leave me alone
  My eyes are wide open
  Can't get to sleep
  One thing I'm sure of
  I'm in at the deep freeze
  Cold turkey has got me on the run
  Cold turkey has got me on the run
  Thirty-six hours
  Rolling in pain
  Praying to someone
  Free me again
  Oh I'll be a good boy
  Please make me well
  I promise you anything

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  Black Paper Black Inkshow lyrics

  Black Paper Black Ink

  And I hate what you told me
  'Bout what I think
  That it's a black paper
  Written on with black ink
  Now let me tell you one thing
  About what you said
  I'd rather die
  Than to have you here in my bed
  Yeah, try to stand up
  While your face is nailed to the floor
  Yeah, this is what it's like
  To feel what I felt before
  But I loved you when you left me
  Yes I loved you when you left me
  I loved you when you left
  Yeah I loved you when you left me
  Don't critisize
  My 2 packs of smokes a day
  You don't even know
  How to spell 'ashtray'
  I don't like your mother
  Don't like her one bit
  'Cause she says
  Vegetarians are stupid
  Yeah, try to stand up

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  Where Is My Mind (feat. Calibre)show lyrics

  Where Is My Mind (feat. Calibre)

  Ooooooh stop
  With your feet in the air
  And your head on the ground
  Try this trick and spin it, yeah
  Your head will collapse
  But there's nothing in it
  And you'll ask yourself
  Where is my mind
  Where is my mind
  Where is my mind
  Way out in the water
  See it swimmin'
  I was swimmin' in the Carribean
  Animals were hiding behind the rock
  Except the little fish
  But they told me, he swears
  Tryin' to talk to me to me to me
  Where is my mind
  Where is my mind
  Where is my mind
  Way out in the water
  See it swimmin' ?
  With your feet in the air
  And your head on the ground
  Try this trick and spin it, yeah
  Your head will collapse
  If there's nothing in it
  And you'll ask yourself
  Where is my mind
  Where is my mind
  Where is my mind
  Ooooh
  With your feet in the air
  And your head on the ground
  Ooooh
  Try this trick and spin it, yeah
  Ooooh

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  That's Just Meshow lyrics

  That's Just Me

  You don't have to say it all again
  Whatever happened, I'm sure it was meant to be
  I think I'm just to slow
  You say you suffer and you don't get any grip
  On everything that I prefer to skip
  But I am what I am and I am doin' fine
  It's not cool to be a guy
  Who sometimes laughs and often cries
  I don't want to be a man
  Whose dreams slipped right through his hands
  But that's just me
  I don't know nothing about sexual routine
  I don't even know what it means
  But a man who never tries will never see
  It's not cool to be a guy
  Who sometimes laughs and often cries
  I don't want to be a man
  Whose dreams slipped right through his hands
  But that's just me
  It's not cool to be a guy
  Who sometimes laughs and often cries
  I don't want to be a man
  Whose dreams slipped right through his hands

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  Snapshotshow lyrics

  Snapshot

  Love is a name
  For a second that puts me in shame
  Life is a snapshot
  Which was taken by words I forgot
  I know I'm naked, I know my soul
  I know this being's got a goal
  Sometimes I'm broken, Sometimes I'm not
  All this is captured in one shot
  I laugh, I cry, I don't rely
  On what I think about it
  How does it feel not to reply
  When they say 'Think about it'
  Lies are so cheap
  But there's life-time guarantee when sold
  Still I'm convinced
  They are priceless when they're left untold
  The moment I'm tired, I will admit
  I took this snapshot bit by bit
  It can be hated or put in a frame

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  Meeting Failuresshow lyrics

  Meeting Failures

  Waiting is the hardest part
  For a doped up worn out heart
  It says it's gonna quit
  When it's life turns slowly into shit
  I feel the mirror laugh
  When I whisper it's all I have
  Burned down and passed away
  I thought we agreed there is nothing left to say
  I've met failures like you before
  Who want to score like me
  I've known them all before
  And I've loved failures like you before
  Who looked so much like me
  And I've known them all before
  I know that the day I'll die
  Will be the moment I'll stop beautify
  The broken mirror and it's razorblade