Jonathan Niven "Jon" Cryer (born April 16, 1965) is an American actor, screenwriter and film producer. He is the son of actress–singer Gretchen Cryer. Cryer made his motion picture debut in the 1984 romantic comedy No Small Affair, but gained greater fame as "Duckie" in the 1986 John Hughes-scripted film Pretty in Pink. In 1998, he finished writing and producing the independent film Went to Coney Island on a Mission from God... Be Back by Five, which was well received.
Even though Cryer gained subsequent fame by starring in these films, it took several years to find success on television. The shows in which he starred, such as The Famous Teddy Z, Partners and The Trouble with Normal, did not last long. In 2003, Cryer was cast as Alan Harper on the hit CBS comedy series Two and a Half Men, for which he was nominated six consecutive times (2006–2011) for a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series, winning the Emmy in 2009. Cryer received a star on The Hollywood Walk of Fame for Television in 2011.
Heads I win. Tails you lose.
Our limits of the infinite have never been defined
Spirit lies in atrophy in a state too late to unwind
Trophies on the back shelf procreating all our race
Ideals of our fantasies on which all things are based
Collecting every prospect, run them through your texts
With Mallachian expressions they end up like the rest
In glass booths they're wired with needles in their flesh
Pickled for posterity and eternally refreshed
So link yourself to others, talk yourself to sleep
It's all so superficial, no use for you to weep
No use for you to weep, no use for you to weep
No use for you to weep, no use for you to weep
No use for you to weep, no use for you to weep
So place your trust in science for it has come so far
Where necromancy lives forever preserved within a jar
Where necromancy lives forever preserved within a jar
Necromancy lives forever preserved within a jar
Necromancy lives forever preserved within a jar
Necromancy lives forever preserved within a jar
Necromancy lives forever preserved within a jar
M. McKee/The Heads
Just a glimpse of thigh
And the footlights of my burlesque season
blaze across the sky
And I'm tearin' back the red shift
To tempt you with a shock of skin
So milky white
And the supernovas have their duller moments
'Thought I'm fashionably late, I'm light years beyond them
You grow thirsty
And I'm all spread out, hung high and flirty,
reflected on the shore
And you dive, dive, dive in
Painting ripples on my skin
So blue and warm
When the supernovas have their duller moments
'Though I'm fashionably late, I'm light years beyond them
No big bang of a man, bang of a man
No big bang of a man, bang of a man is enough to -
I watch you sleep
I've been on the prowl forever,
there's no shade from my beam
And I'll suck you up with my weather
Lock you in a silver tether
Drown you in cream
Even supernovas have their duller moments
No big bang of a man is enough to fill them
Even supernovas have their quiet moments
No big bang of a man is enough to fill them
When I'm lost out there
I am everywhere
And I'm lost out there
No big bang of a man is enough
No big bang of a man is enough
No big bang of a man is enough to fill them.
R. Hell/The Heads
Come to me, babe, but come facing away
Look back, you'll see me, it's a grownup at play.
You might be pretty, but I've seen it before
If that's all you've got, I don't need no more
Never mind never mind never mind never mind
You got me hooked, I admit it, it's true
But the hooks are liquid, I can slip 'em, they're goo.
And when you've lived long as me you'll know, too
Have all the meaning of a day at the zoo.
Then again, the zoo's a nice place to go.
After all, we both were born there, you know
Come on, honey, it's a nice, nice day trip
You can give that little boyfriend the slip.
Never mind never mind never mind never mind
I like the way you blush at a touch
I like it better if you don't blush too much
I like to listen and I like to look
But if you can't accommodate, I'm fine with a book
The days are short, now, but comedy is long
It doesn't matter much and nothing is wrong
Don't get me wrong, I like you and your dress
But we're both better off without all that stress.
Never mind never mind never mind never mind
The Heads
Give 'em no hope
No tenderness
No holiness
No sensitivity
No love
No heart
No imagination
No compassion
No talking just head
I cannot be dead
I will be in your head
You will be on your knees
You'll be beggin' me, 'Please
Make it fucking stop'!
No peace of mind
No serenity
No mercy mild
No divinity
You will give them no quarter
No inspiration
Isolation
No talking just head
That's what I said
I will be in your head
And you'll be down on your knees
Beggin' me, `Please - '
Sometimes I feel - sometimes I feel
like a motherfuckingless child
Grease it up good
Work it back and forth
You don't even know who I am
Think of the good things
Remember the bad
No illusions
No talking just head
I cannot be dead!
When you pull the switch
I will be in your head
Greasin' it up good.
No talking just head
You've been misled
I will be in your head
Workin' it back and forth
Like I knew that I would
No tenderness
No compassion
No sensitivity
No love
No holiness
No spirituality
No imagination
No heart
No divinity
No charity
No mercy
No hope
No karma
No devotion
No immorality
No soul
No talking just head
I cannot be dead!
I will be in your head
You will be down on your knees
And you'll be beggin' me, `Please
M. Anneteg/The Heads
Two love stories
She installed a video camera over her bed in the bedroom.
No more lonely nights. In a film she once saw, a girl was
fucked by a dog. So she went to the pet store - but felt
stupid - and came home with a goldfish in a plastic bag.
The fish's name is `SuperMan`. He would circle the bowl
world in five minutes.
No more lonely nights
No more lonely nights
No more lonely nights
No more lonely nights
This is two love stories
She goes to bed with a lipstick and a box of chocolate.
She read in a book once that chocolate was good both
in you and on you for sexual pleasure. SuperMan
watches glossy-eyed, camera staring mute, blinking
encouragingly down at the big bed where she has fallen
asleep, fingers smeared with 'Kissing Red' and melted
chocolate - SuperMan and the remote control still in a
cramped grip.
No more lonely nights
No more lonely nights
No more lonely nights
No more lonely nights
Two love stories
For your birthday I'll give you scissors - shining, silver,
sharp! - to cut me open and step right in. You know I am
hot enough to keep you warm when winter comes. Oh, it
would suit you good, it would do you good. You can do
it, you've done it before! Take my milky white and make
yourself a coat. Cut me open and step right in. I'm sick of
being without you. Believe me, the pain means nothing.
No more lonely nights
No more lonely nights
No more lonely nights
No more lonely nights
Two love stories
Infected by your tongue when kissing, the I.V. love shock
that took me for a ride never ending. I guess I should have
known that needle'd been around. The disease of loving
you spread fast through the blood. I lost everything I had
for you. I lost everything I was for you. I used to have a
language. I used to have a name. I used to have a name
No more lonely nights... Now I have yours
No more lonely nights... Snakebite
No more lonely nights... Stabbing
No more lonely nights... Sex
I wanted to tell two love stories
One would be the story
The other
Would be the story
A. Partridge/The Heads
Pink confetti, shotgun wedding
Rocket secrets someone's shredding
Nineteenth floor.
Laundry ticket that exploded
Joust with Quaker pamphlet goaded
Into war.
Ankle deep we heroes amble
Ankel deep we wade
Ankel deep through someone else's
Ticker tape parade
Softly, softly, softly
Falls papersnow
Softly, softly, softly
All of our works blow away
Petals fell on Petaluma
Till-receipt from Montezuma's
Burger Hut.
Every day a billion dollars
Fall as black and white blue-collars
Plough their rut.
Softly, softly, softly
Falls papersnow
Softly, softly, softly
All of our works blow away
Ankle deep we heroes amble
Ankel deep we wade
Ankel deep through someone else's
Ticker tape parade
Jets folded from Wall Street Journal
Shoot down cartons care of Colonel's
Chicken Ranch
Kleenex where the guy's been cryin'
Goodbye note from girl who's flyin'
To new branch
Softly, softly, softly
Falls papersnow
Softly, softly, softly
All of our works blow away
Letters that I'd meant to send you
To torpedo and up-end you
Sheet by sheet
Tore up all the beg and bitter
Add them to the drift of litter
On your street
Softly, softly, softly
Falls papersnow
Softly, softly, softly
All of our works blow away
Ankle deep we heroes amble
Ankel deep we wade
Ankel deep through someone else's
G. Gano/The Heads
And Charlie Chance
Mocks castles in the air
And - bang - romance
It rocks his cradles of despair
Only the lonely
Homely sentiment
Only the lonely
Only my detriment
I not gonna see you anymore
And I am cryin'
I don't want to see you anymore
But I might be lyin'
Miss Hard he hunts
Her sikhs will not suffice
Bad Batter bunts
Willy Meek speaks of self-sacrifice.
His muse sick, it pays
How much now cost is the balance
The musician prays
'Cause his touch now is lost as his talents
I'm not gonna see you anymore
And I am cryin'
I don't wanna see you anymore
But I might be lyin'
No, I know. Oh! Now, I won't let go
Oh, I know. I won't let you go
And Charlie Chance
Makes castles in the air
And - bang - romance
It breaks his cradles of despair
Only the lonely
Blowing leaves in the gusts
Only the lonely
Loathing leaves disgust
I don't wanna see you anymore
And I am cryin'
I don't wanna see you anymore
J. Napolitano/The Heads
If I had a dog like you
I'd drag you all over this town
Everybody would be telling about this dog I found
Me and my dog - we get down
Crawl town to town checking out inside
if we should make a round
hey hey hey ha ha ha
Look at this big bad dog I got
hey hey hey
If I had a dog like you
I'd let you chew my shoe
I'd take you to a restaurant
for anything you want
Me and my dog - we get down
Everybody's checking, checking out this dog I found
hey hey hey ha ha ha
Look at this big bad dog I got
hey hey hey ha ha ha
Look at this big bad dog I got
If I had a dog like you
Everybody would move
They'd step aside and wanna feed us human food
If you are my dog
We'd be the King and Queen of dogs
Don't mess with us anyone dogs
If I had a dog like you
hey hey hey ha ha ha
Look at this big bad dog I got
hey hey hey ha ha ha
Look at this big bad dog I got
hey hey hey ha ha ha
Look at this big bad dog I got
hey hey hey ha ha ha
M. Hutchence/The Heads
They came from the second city
Where the screams came unattached
Addiction was the latest style
In the faces they could not match
There was a blue beat playing
On the radio left behind
And a man selling lies as truth
Like a king who was loved too much
They made a mess of your only child
Her innocence was not lost
While the judge and jury took their dime
They counted the miles and laughed
Make way for the way we are
The fever still burns though the king is gone
Fever comes to the innocent
It can make you mad and free
But you never find a scrap of love
If you don't wanna feel the heat
A million flames are lickin'
They lie like dogs at your feet
Waitin' for the words of wisdom
From the mouths of the bittersweet
In the valley of indiscretion
Where fear plays the piper's tune
The heroes are the ones who tell the truth
And break the rules with the courage of love
Make way for the way we are
Fever still burns though the king is gone
Make way for the way we are
The king is gone
S. Ryder/The Heads
Jungle is massive
So if you need a new direction
in the way you think and feel
You let me know, now, I no know!
So if you need a new direction
in the way you think and feel
You let me know, now, I no know!
Rock me, baby!
Tell me, baby!
Sleazy lady!
You're with me, lady!
It's easy, baby!
Tell me, baby!
You drive me crazy!
You're with me, baby!
Sleazy lady!
Don't take my kindness for weakness
When I'm on to every one of your secrets
And the way you treat a brain, I don't need this
Where everything gets fixed in the one hit
And I say that game is show biz
When I'm on to every one of your sweetness
Rock me, baby!
Tell me, baby!
Sleazy lady!
You're with me lady!
It's easy, baby!
Tell me, baby!
You drive me crazy!
You're with me, baby!
Sleazy lady!
Don't take my kindness for weakness
When I'm into every one of your secrets
And the way you treat a brain, I don't need this
Everything is fixed in a slow kiss!
I don't need to see you standin' there
I don't need to beware
I don't care, I don't care
I don't care...
Well, everything is fixed in the one hit
And I'll say it once again, that is show biz!
Rock me, baby!
Tell me, baby!
Sleazy lady!
You're with me lady!
It's easy, baby!
Tell me, lady!
You drive me crazy!
You're with me, baby!
Sleazy lady!
Rock?
Will you rock?
We rock.
Do you rock?
Oh, rock!
We rock.
Oh, rock
We rock.
Don't take my kindness for weakness
When I'm on to every one of your secrets
When everything is fixed in the one hit
When I have to put up with your bullshit!
Just because I do not keep my mouth shut
Doesn't not mean I am a blood clot!
Rock me, lady!
Tell me, baby!
Sleazy lady!
You're with me lady!
It's easy, baby!
Tell me, lady!
You drive me crazy!
You're with me, baby!
Sleazy lady!
You're on it, you're on it, you're on it, you're on it now...
It's a plant life in our one-and-only world...
E. Kowalczyk/The Heads
I had a job washin' dishes in a sink
It made me rich, but in a different kind of way.
I could cut my hair, but it costs too much.
So I'll buy my own clippers, darlin', and D.I.Y. this bush!
Her last temptation was to grab that beggin' bowl.
Her belly was empty, but her mind was full.
Can you see it?
Would you go?
I could cut your hair, but it costs too much
So I'll buy my own clippers, darlin', and D.I.Y. this bush!
Would you go with me anywhere? Hummm -
I can't sing, I can't bring this peace without you here
They say he left his home with only five strands
Are you okay? You've got your head in my hands
Would you go with me?
Could you sing a song?
I've brought my own clippers, darlin'
It won't be long.
We're going to India to sit with angels.
We're going to India to sit with devils.
We're going to India to sit with angels.
scream and metal samba
slide up next to me
heads are spinning faster
heads will roll
the taste on tongue is showing
Looking at all of your friends
Wishing you could be like them
Running on glass floors again
Just so you can be knocked down
Swimming in oceans of pain
Trying as it pulls you in
Wrapping your heart up in chains
Cause someone always lets you down
Get inside my head
Get inside my head
Get inside my head
And light it up again
I wonder do you feel the same
Waiting for the days to end
Lying with thoughts that invade
They smother you and everyone
Flying on feelings again
Biting on a poison tounge
Climbing up mountains of pain
Just so you can be knocked down
Get inside my head
Get inside my head
Get inside my head
And light it up again
Get inside my head
Get inside my head
Get inside my head
Another Saturday night and she knows where she's goin'
To that small corner bar on the far side of town
Folks call her Ol' Faithful 'cause she's always hangin' around
Dressed up shimmy-shammy in her sequins and pearls
Hey there, moon
Blue, blue moon, I'm all alone
Blue, blue moon
Without a love of my own
A 'Stoli' on ice makes everything just right
She laughs and chit-chats with whoever's around
'I've been there, done that, have you heard the one about?'
No one ever listens and they don't hear the sound
Hey, there, moon
Blue, blue moon, I'm all alone
Blue, blue moon
Without a love of my own
Just looking for a friend, someone to dance with me
A little romance cheek to cheek
Someone to hold and dance the night away
'Tick-tock' goes the barroom clock
It's quarter past two and the night's wearing thin
She salutes the happy couples, bids them all fond 'Adieu!'
'Barman, make mine a double, Cinderella here, has lost her shoe'
Hey, there, moon
Blue, blue moon, I'm all alone
Blue, blue moon
Without a love of my own
So, I'll make believe someone danced with me
She used to sing, she used to cry but, now
She doesn't even try because she knows the stars
Those bright and shiny stars have all fallen, fallen from the sky
The moon is blue
The moon is blue
The moon is blue
The moon is blue
The Heads
She was a punk Lolita
C.B.G.B. era
Holes in her stocking
Nothing is shocking
Down at the heels
Had what it takes to feel
She could rock the world
She was a punk girl, Ooooh
You don't care that I'm just a punk girl doin' it funky
You don't care that I'm just a punk girl doin' it.
Get offa your pedestal
It's a freakin' free world
Get offa your pedestal
It's a freakin'!
She was a punk Lolita
Anya and Lydia
La petite Damita
Could easily eat ya
Holes in her stocking
Nothing is shocking
Down at the heels
Keepin' it real, Ooooh
You don't care that I'm just a punk girl doin' it funky
You don't care that I'm just a punk girl doin' it.
You don't care that I'm just a punk girl doin' it funky
You don't care that I'm just a punk girl doin' it.
She was a punk Lolita
C.B.G.B. era
Connie and Roxie
And sweet Roberta
Who manned the door
So if you were poor
You'd get in for free
C.B.G.B. la! Ooooh
You don't care that I'm just a punk girl doin' it funky
You don't care that I'm just a punk girl doin' it.
Get offa your pedestal
It's a freakin' free world
Get offa your pedestal
It's a freakin'!
You don't care that I'm just a punk girl doin' it funky
You don't care that I'm just a punk girl doin' it.
You don't care that I'm just a punk girl doin' it funky
J. Napolitano/The Heads
I'm picking my skin, I'm scratching the floor
I'm alive and it's easy, it's easy
I'm blacking out the windows, bolting the door
I'm alive and it's easy, it's easy
I'm chewing my fingers, clawing the wall
How do I feel? - strange and real
I was hanging by a hair and I didn't fall
I'm alive and it's easy, it's easy
Tell me am I dead? Tell me am I sick in the head?
They'll believe anything anyone said
Tell me my ??? and I'm having fun
They'll believe anything about anyone, you tell me more
I don't care any more
Don't even ask, don't even try
I see it all, but I know how to lie
I know what you're thinking I don't care
I'm in here, you're out there
Better say something, what do you say?
Do it again, and kiss it away
And you're speaking in tongues now, don't you hear
Look at me now - do I look crazy?
Tell me am I dead? Tell me am I sick in the head?
They'll believe anything anyone said
Tell them I got in a wreck, tell them I changed my set
Jumped off the freeway and broke my neck
You tell me more, I don't care any more
I'm picking my skin and I'm scratching the floor
I'm alive and it's easy, it's easy
I'm blacking out the windows, bolting the door
I'm alive and it's easy, it's easy
Tell me am I dead? Tell tell me am I sick in the head?
They'll believe anything anyone said
Tell them I got in a wreck, tell them I changed my set
Jumped off the freeway and broke my neck
Tell them I married a cop, tell them I said to shut up
Tell them I disappeared, tell them I just got weird
Tell them I'm deep in the night and I'm having fun
They'll believe anything about anyone
You tell me more
Pink confetti, shotgun wedding
Rocket secrets someone’s shredding
Nineteenth floor.
Laundry ticket that exploded
Joust with quaker pamphlet goaded
Into war.
Ankle deep we heroes amble
Ankle deep we wade
Ankle deep through someone else’s
Ticker tape parade
Softly, softly, softly
Falls papersnow...
Softly, softly, softly
All of our works blow away...
Petals fell on petaluma
Till receipt from montezuma’s
Burger hut.
Every day a billion dollars
Fall as black and white blue-collars
Plough their rut.
Softly, softly, softly
Falls papersnow...
Softly, softly, softly
All of our works blow away...
Ankle deep we heroes amble
Ankle deep we wade
Ankle deep through someone else’s
Ticker tape parade
Jets folded from wall street journal
Shoot down cartons care of colonel’s
Chicken ranch.
Kleenex where the guy’s been cryin’
Goodbye note from girl who’s flyin’
To new branch.
Softly, softly, softly
Falls papersnow...
Softly, softly, softly
All of our works blow away...
Letter that I’d meant to send you
To torpedo and up-end you
Sheet by sheet.
Tore up all the beg and bitter
Add them to the drift of litter
On your street.
Softly, softly, softly
Falls papersnow...
Softly, softly, softly
All of our works blow away...
Ankle deep we heroes amble
Ankle deep we wade
Ankle deep through someone else’s
Ticker tape parade
J. Napolitano/The Heads
There's buzzin' and ringin' in my ear
And I wonder where do I go from here
The moments missed, the tickin' of time
I suppose this life is mine, all mine
I remember a time when my mind was clean and clear.
How do I undo the damage I have done?
How do I undo the damage I have done?
How do I undo the damage I have done?
How do I undo the damage I have done?
I remember the color of your eyes changed from blue to black
My fingers twist in a fist behind your back
I crumbled and I cried
I look a long hard breath and died
I don't remember what I did
I don't remember what I said
I don't remember attackin'.
If I could bend the bands of time, if I could reel it in
And in the mirror, who is that lookin' back
And I'm scared of whoever this is livin' in my skin.
How do I undo the damage I have done?
How do I undo the damage I have done?
How do I undo the damage I have done?
How do I undo the damage I have done?
I'm sweatin' with a pillow over my face
Thinkin' back to exactly the time and place.
Darlin', it was all for you.
I believed all the things you said to me were true.
You know I love you to death, my dear, you know I do.
How can I undo the damage I have done?
How do I undo the damage I have done?
How do I undo the damage I have done?