Kelsey may refer to:
A con is easy. Family is hard.
A comedy about good times and grand theft.
Marty: You steal cars from dead people.::Alan: They're not dead people.::Ben: Yeah, they're dead people's relatives.::Marty: I remember when you were nice boys.
Amanda: I was ready to share forever with you. But did you care? No. You'd rather share it with him, and steal, steal, steal! Alan, Alan, Alan! I mean, was I just some hole for you? What does he have that I don't?::Ben: Uh, well, an indoor voice.
Alan: I don't know how you could come here every day.::Melanie: It's easy, I get up in the morning, and I go to work, and that's it.::Alan: So do I, and that's it.::Melanie: No, what you do isn't work. It's...::Alan: Well, it pays my bills - and sometimes yours.
Ben: We all get a bag of hammers. You know what I mean? Whether it's being poor, or catching cancer, divorce, losing your brother - losing your mother... Well, but the thing is, what you do with these hammers when you get them. 'Cause that shows you what kind of a man you are; even if you're not ready to be one yet.
Alan: You don't hug anyone, you hugged a hobo?::Ben: Yeah, well, first I gave her all my money.
Wyatt: Look, you may not understand this, but this is the best thing for you, okay?::Kelsey: They wanted me.::Wyatt: They couldn't take care of you, Kelsey.::Kelsey: No one has *ever* wanted me before. But they wanted me.::Wyatt: It's not enough.::Kelsey: Yes it is!
Melanie: Good morning.::Marty: [to his buddy] This is it.::Melanie: What can I get you?::Marty: A side of you. [shows her a ring]
Alan: [holding a condom package] Kelsey, we sat you down today because we wanted to talk to you about...::Ben: [holding a banana]... something very important.::Alan: First of all, what happens in Penthouse doesn't happen in real life.::Ben: It never looks that good. You don't want to get a girl pregnant before your, um, in love with her.::Alan: And ready to start a life... with her.::Ben: Yes. And each time you have sex, you are risking marriage.
Plot
Mia's best friend Rachel has just left. She remembers all the good times they've had together, such as when they first met and the time they first met Kelsey. Kelsey has always been the third wheel in the group. Mia's memories end, and she walks into the library, accidentally walking in on Kelsey. The two argue, and Mia says that they were never friends. Kelsey leaves Mia. Can Mia sum up to courage to apologize, can their friendship be restored?
Plot
When Wesley, a young boy living in small-town Alberta during the early 1980s, meets Trevor, the only black boy in his grade school, the two boys quickly bond over action figures and funk music. But in forming a friendship with Trevor, Wesley soon discovers the prejudice that exists within his family, among his friends and even in himself.
Keywords: 80s, funk, prairie
Plot
An old friend of a private detective is murdered. The detective, Mike Hammer, will make every effort to find out the killer. At each step he does, there is someone taking advantage of his progress.
Keywords: adulterous-wife, adultery, apartment-building, assault, attraction, bare-breasts, bare-butt, based-on-novel, beating, bedroom
He was only a private eye - but he wanted to be the judge and jury as well. [Video]
The cops, the mob, the broads, everyone's after Hammer!
[last lines]::Dr. Charlotte Bennett: [Last lines] How could you?::Mike Hammer: It was easy.
Mike Hammer: Everything I touch dies.
Mike Hammer: [after trapping a goon in a revolving door] You look good in there!
Mike Hammer: A little honey a day keeps the bourbon away.
Mike Hammer: Let's get out of here.::Joe Butler: How?::Mike Hammer: We'll take the Cherokee. Let's go.::Joe Butler: There's no gas in it.::Mike Hammer: No gas? What do you mean, no gas? Who owns a truck with no gas?
Mike Hammer: Harry Lundee.::Lundee: Unnecessary violence himself. What brings you to the land of make-believe?
Detective Pat Chambers: Try not to kill more than two or three people today, okay?
Velda: Marry me.::Mike Hammer: I'd never be faithful.::Velda: Sure you would. You'd remember my Sicilian grandmother and decide it isn't worth it.
Mike Hammer: Why so hot and sweaty?::Girl: I just came back from a five-mile jog!::Mike Hammer: Oh? I thought it was me.
Mike Hammer: Are you two alike in every way?::2nd Twin: Not exactly. I have a strawberry birthmark.::Mike Hammer: Really? Where?::2nd Twin: Oh, I can't see it. I have to go on other people's word.
Plot
Gangster Frank Olins is to die in the gas chamber much to the dismay of his girlfriend Margot Shelby as he is carrying the secret of the location of $400,000 with him. Margot seduces gangster Jim Vincent to get him to engineer the removal of Olins' body from the prison immediately after he dies in the gas chamber. She takes prison doctor Craig away from his nurse/girl friend and gets him to administer an antidote for cyanide gas poisoning. During the removal of Olins' body, the hearse driver is killed by Tommy. The revived Olins gives Margot half of a map showing the money location and Vincent, in a fit of jealousy, kills Olins and takes the other half. Because the doctor's plates on his car will get them through the police roadblocks, Vincent and Margot take him with them on the money hunt.
Keywords: antidote, bar, betrayal, brought-back-to-life, buried-loot, cult, cult-film, cult-film, cult-film, cyanide
She Treats Men the Way They've Been Treating Women for Years!
Bartender: Louie asked her how old she was. She said 23.::Sergeant Joe Portugal: If she's 20, I'll eat that glass.::Bartender: Well, Kelsey brought her in.::Sergeant Joe Portugal: Okay, okay, but if I catch you selling liquor to minors, I'll bust this joint into toothpicks!
Margot Shelby: Do you remember the first time I came to see you in your office? Your dingy, gloomy office in that dingy dirty street, the rotten smell of the factory chimneys pressing down on the shabby little houses, the slovenly old women, the gray-faced dirty little children starting out with everything against them. I remember that street.::Dr. Craig: Do you love me?::Margot Shelby: Yes, but I can't forget your street. I remember every little thing about it, and if I had never seen it, I still could have described it because that street runs all over the world. I know because that's the street I came from 6000 miles from here in a little English mill town. But it's the same rotten street, the same factories, the same people, and the same little gray-faced children!
Sergeant Joe Portugal: [Reading a note] To you who double-crossed me... I leave this dollar for your trouble. The rest of the dough, I leave to the worms.
Frank Olins: Nothing comes out of that money, until I take it out myself. Vince will pay for the Doctor.::Jim Vincent: I into you for 60 G's already.::Frank Olins: 60 thousand? For what?::Margot Shelby: Do want an itemized account of what is cost to save your life?
Frank Olins: Lay out the dough Vince. You know you'll get it back, soon as I can out of here.::Jim Vincent: No Soap Frankie. You've just been gassed. How do I know what kind of shape you in? Maybe you wouldn't be able to pull through an operation.
Sergeant Joe Portugal: Don't let the face of yours go to your head.::Margot Shelby: Or to yours?::Sergeant Joe Portugal: It would matter if did... People who use pretty faces like you use yours, don't live very long anyway.
Plot
Well-known philanthropist and deaf-mute John G. Harrison is identified leaving the scene of several murders but evades successful prosecution as there are hundreds of witnesses who have also seen him emceeing benefits at the exact same time as the murders.
Keywords: 1940s, alibi, attorney, b-movie, bailiff, benefit, big-city, boyfriend-girlfriend-relationship, brother, city-hall
Barbara 'Babs' Mason: It's as clear as the nose on Jimmy Durante's face.
Plot
Fibber McGee enlists the help of Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy in enticing an aircraft manufacturer to build a factory in the small town of Wistful Vista. Based on the "Fibber McGee and Molly" radio series.
Keywords: aircraft-industry, airplane, apostrophe-in-title, based-on-radio-show, blackmail, business-manager, deception, duplicity, engagement, foreclosure
Rusty: What fools we morons be.
Julie Patterson: Marriage is a strong institution, Charlie.::Charlie McCarthy: So is Alcatraz, but I wouldn't want to live there.
Fibber McGee: I'll knock his face so far down into his Oxfords that they'll call him puss in boots.
Fibber McGee: Just like eating lettuce nothing to it
Plot
A gang of racketeers, led by Lucas ('Robert Ellis (I)' (qv)), plans to shake-down a rich industrial businessman, Murray Van Lane ('Harvey Clark' (qv)), by kidnapping his daughter, Helen ('Blanche Mehaffey' (qv)). Dick Barton ('Richard Talmadge' (qv)), the captain of a fishing boat running off of Catalina Island, sees what they are up to and provides some opposition to their scheme.
Keywords: 1930s, b-movie, boat-captain, cannery, catalina-island-california, chase, cigarette-smoking, cigarettes, damsel-in-distress, daughter
So, take one word you said
You put it in your bed
You rest your tiny head on your pillow
You wonder where you're going next
You got your head pushed to my chest
And now you're hoping that someone lets you in
Well I sure'll let you in
You know that you're in
Oh Kelsey, you
So don't let anyone scare you
You know that I'll protect you always
Now, through the thick and thin, until the end
You better watch it
You know you don't cross it because
I'm always here for you and I'll be here for you
I know, I know, I know
I know how it feels, believe me, I've been there
And I know, I know, I know
I know what it feels like, tell me, Kelsey
And I'll swim the ocean for you
The ocean for you, whoa, oh Kelsey
And I'll swim the ocean for you
The ocean for you, whoa, oh Kelsey
Yeah
No, it's going to get harder
And it's going to burn brighter
And it's going to feel tougher each and every day
So let me say that I love you
You're all that I've ever wanted
All that I've ever dreamed of to come
And yes, you did come
I want you so bad, can you feel it too?
You know I'm so, I'm so in love you
I want you so much
I need you so much
I need you, I need you, your touch
And I'll swim the ocean for you
The ocean for you, whoa, oh Kelsey
And I'll swim the ocean for you
The ocean for you, whoa, oh Kelsey
And I'll swim the ocean for you
The ocean for you, whoa, oh Kelsey
And I'll swim the ocean for you
The ocean for you, whoa, oh Kelsey
And you never ever let me in
And you never ever let me in
And you never ever let me in
And you never ever let me in
He's held me for ransom for far too long.
I don't care how much it hurts.
I'll find a way to escape.
Point his weapon straight at my head.
The sooner you pull the trigger, the sooner I soak it all in.
Take it from my steps.
Take it from my words.
Strip the images from my mind.
Take the need to see from my eyes.
I'll keep my foundation.
I'll keep the tears.
I'll share the bloodshed that you gave up for me.
My hands have been bound for far too long.
I don't care about the pain, I'll find the means of escape.
Point his weapon straight at my head.
The sooner you pull the trigger, the sooner I soak it all in.
Take it from my steps.
Take it from my words.
Strip the images from my mind.
Take the need to see from my eyes.
Resist this torture of the millions.
The downfall of an age.
The fuel of our skin.