Two writers, Joe and Shaggy Man, struggle on their script before the make it to their deadline.
Plot
A Mad Scientist sends a bounty hunter out to capture two unearth-lings from another dimension, who hold the key to the universe. The mad scientist plans to use the key for evil things.
They have the key.
The Knowing Gnome: I am the Knowing Gnome of knowing things that must be known.
The Knowing Gnome: The cane you must follow thus ways, towards the forest of desires... uh hey... at least let me finish... come on... guys?
Unearthling 1: We shall stop you by blowing wind... toward you.::Unearthling 2: Hell yeah!
Smigor: Shh shh... I don't think he saw us.::Average Joe: You guys, I can totally see you!::Mad Scientist: He, he definitely saw us.::Smigor: No shh shh... his vision is based on movement.::Average Joe: My vision is not based on movement... [awkward pause] You guys are right there, in my shower.::Mad Scientist: [awkward pause] Oh shit!
Mad Scientist: Let's take some of the sturbadorbin and put it in the spickledicken.
Mad Scientist: They have the answers to questions that have been asked... of us.
The Bounty Hunter: You've been... banananated!
Mad Scientist: You know you sound like a little girl when you transport. You don't sound as bad ass as you usually do.
The Bounty Hunter: Before you tell me what you want me to do, you gotta tell me how much you're willing to pay.::Mad Scientist: How 'bout 3 dollars?::The Bounty Hunter: It's gonna need to be a lot more than that, mister.::Mad Scientist: But that's all I'm willing to pay!::The Bounty Hunter: How 'bout 3... hundred... dollar bills?::Mad Scientist: How 'bout 3 hundred... dimes?::The Bounty Hunter: Alright, you got yourself a deal.
Unearthling 1: What is this thing called again?::Unearthling 2: I don't remember the title.::Unearthling 1: Picture box with screen with picture?
A short film about getting to know each other without saying a word.
Plot
A Baltimore sandwich shop employee becomes an overnight sensation when photographs he's taken of his weird family become the latest rage in the art world. The young man is called "Pecker" because he pecks at his food like a bird.
Keywords: amateur, art, art-exhibit, art-exhibition, art-gallery, art-show, artist, baltimore-maryland, blasphemy, blue-collar
He never realized how far 35 millimeters would take him.
Pecker: [Making a toast] And my little sister Chrissy, for teaching me that life is nothing if you're not obsessed.
Tina: We're all famous- just like the Jackson family!::Jimmy: Don't say that, Tina.
Memama: Sometimes there's things more important than pit beef.
Shelley: Don't become an asshole. I beg of you, do not become an asshole.
Shelley: Don't become an asshole, Pecker. I beg of you do not become an asshole.
Jimmy: Pubic hair causes crime.
Memama: [talking through her Mary ventriloquist dummy] Full of grace! Full of grace!
T-Bone: Ride it, bitch! Ride it like a butch bottom!
Pecker: I love you, little Chrissy. No matter what.
Tina: Here comes Tina Supermodel!
The terms Average Joe, Ordinary Joe, Joe Sixpack (for males) and Ordinary, Average, or Plain Jane (for females), are used primarily in the United States to refer to a completely average person, typically an average American. It can be used both to give the image of a hypothetical "completely average person" or to describe an existing person (the latter is not necessarily an insult). Parallel terms in other languages for local equivalents exist worldwide.
Today, statistics by the United States Department of Commerce provide information regarding the societal attributes of those who may be referred to as being "average". While some individual attributes are easily identified as being average, such as the median income, other characteristics, such as family arrangements may not be identified as being average.
In 2000, for example no single household arrangement constituted more than 30% of total households. Married couples with no children were the most common constituting 28.7% of households. It would nonetheless be inaccurate to state that the average American lives in a childless couple arrangement as 71.3% do not. Other "average" characteristics are easier to identify.
Black Veil Brides is an American rock band based out of Hollywood, California. The group is composed of Andy Biersack (lead vocals), Ashley Purdy (bass, backing vocals), Jake Pitts (lead guitar), Jinxx (rhythm guitar, violin) and Christian "CC" Coma (drums). Black Veil Brides are known for their distinct appearance, which was inspired by Kiss' and Mötley Crüe's stage persona, as well as numerous other 1980's glam metal acts.
In September 2009, using the current name, Black Veil Brides signed with the independent label StandBy Records. The writing process for a tour and a record began immediately. In December 2009, the band embarked on their first US tour entitled "On Leather Wings".
The group's debut album We Stitch These Wounds was released July 13, 2010 and sold over 10,000 copies in its first week, ranking at #36 on the Billboard Top 200 chart, and #1 on the Billboard Independent chart. In late 2010, Black Veil Brides went on tour with bands The Birthday Massacre, Dommin and Aural Vampire.
Sarah Butler (born February 11, 1985) is an American actress. She starred in the 2010 film I Spit on Your Grave, a remake of the controversial 1978 film of the same title.
A native of Puyallup, Washington, Butler was interested in the arts while growing up; she sang in choirs, entered singing competitions, and performed in high school and community theatre. She relocated to Los Angeles to study theatre at the University of Southern California, and then played Belle, the princess in Beauty and the Beast, for a year and a half at Disneyland. She dropped out of college, focused on finding a talent agent, and began auditioning for work in television and film.
Butler guest-starred on the television series CSI: Miami and CSI: NY. She was cast in the film A Couple of White Chicks at the Hair Dresser and the 2008 Syfy TV horror film Flu Bird Horror. She had a role that year on the web series Luke 11:17, directed by Don Stark. She also had a recurring role on the web series I <3 Vampires.
Butler won the lead in the 2010 rape and revenge thriller, I Spit on Your Grave, a remake of the 1978 cult film of the same title. Although initially put off by the film's nudity and violence, the film's strong character arc and "feminist edge" helped convince her to take the role. Butler starred as Jennifer Hills, a novelist who is brutally gang raped while staying at a cabin in the woods. Her character seeks revenge on the group of men. Directed by Steven R. Monroe, the film was released on October 8, 2010.
Franklin Ruehl is an American ufologist and cryptozoologist. Ruehl holds a Ph.D. in theoretical nuclear physics from UCLA. He has appeared on such shows as Jimmy Kimmel Live!, The Roseanne Show and Tom Green Live among others. His own show, Mysteries from Beyond the Other Dominion started on a Public-access television cable TV channel in the Los Angeles area in the late 80s, and then the Sci Fi Channel in the early 90s. In 2006, Dr. Ruehl hosted several new episodes of the show on TomGreen.com. Dr. Ruehl was rejected on an America's Got Talent audition with an act which encompassed sticking straws into a potato. In 2010, he appeared on several episodes of 1000 Ways to Die, as an expert, portraying a Cryptozoologist, a Conspiracy Expert and a Deathologist/Thanatologist.
Dr. Ruehl has a series of videos entitled 'The Realm of Bizarre News' which can be viewed here.
Ruehl was born in Philadelphia (c. 1950). During his childhood, after 40 straight days of rain "his father told the family they were moving to California", where Ruehl was first introduced to the world of Sci-Fi, watching television programs and movies such as Space Patrol, Rocky Jones, Space Ranger and his favorite Sci-Fi movie /Rocketship X-M", that captured his imagination and desire to explore the field he is in today. Ruehl majored in physics at UCLA and got his PH.D. in theoretical nuclear physics there. During this time he was also writing articles in publications in Canadian UFO Report and went on the local T.V. news' five minute rebuttal sessions. After awhile he was being interviewed by the National Enquirer, later becoming a interviewer and writing articles on controversial subjects of that time (Cryptozoology, Parapsychology and Ufology). Videos of his public access television show were sent videos to Universal, and it was later picked up on the Sci-fi channel. He resides in Glendale, California.
John William Feldmann (born June 29, 1967) is an American musician and producer who is the lead singer/guitarist of the band Goldfinger. He is known as an animal rights advocate.
Feldmann started playing music when he was 13, after hearing Mommy's Little Monster by Social Distortion. He moved to LA in 1988 and formed a band called Electric Love Hogs, where he met future Goldfinger bassist Kelly LeMieux. The Electric Love Hogs (which also included Dave Kushner of Velvet Revolver, and Bobby Hewitt from Orgy) were signed to Polygram in 1990 and put out one CD. Feldmann then formed Goldfinger in 1994 when he met original Goldfinger bassist Simon Williams in a shoe store where they were both working. The group was signed to Mojo/Universal in 1995 and have toured extensively throughout the world. According to his official website John holds a Guinness world record for his feat of performing 385 shows in 1996.
As an A&R representative for Warner Bros & Maverick Records, he has signed The Used, Destroy Rebuild Until God Shows, Goldfinger, Showoff, Unloco, Josephine Collective, City Sleeps, Story of the Year, Foxy Shazam and Mest.
I don't mind working
I don't mind drinking
when I need to unwind
And I like listening to a
country song on a Friday night
I'm a welder in the shop downtown
the dry waller in your brand new house
Yeah I'm your Average Joe
I'm the guy that fixed your van
I'm the painter I'm your concrete man
Yeah I'm your Average Joe
I've got brothers
And I've got sisters
Fighting hard for me and you
Yeah I got a mother and she's been praying
They'll all be coming home real soon
I'm the lightening in the pouring rain
I drive the diesel in the other lane
Yeah I'm your Average Joe
I wax the floors in the grocery store
Drop off the boxes at your front door
Yeah I'm your Average Joe
Never made a ton of money
Just enough to get us by
But the things that make me rich
Is this woman and these kids of mine
You know you run into me everywhere
You need a hand I'm gonna be right there
I'm your Average Joe
I love my country and being free
Yeah there're millions of you just like me
Cuz I'm your Average Joe
Tour bus rolling down Broadway
Says "nobody you would know"
In all the store front windows I see my face
And the lame expression of this average Joe
Lord, a fool and his money parted ways
To a con artist at the bus depot
Oh, now who would've thought such an honest face
Would make a monkey of this average Joe
I'm a walking disaster
I'm an accident waiting to happen
I can't walk any faster, no
If I could I'd be tap dancing, yeah
Oh, I see the porch light of my home
Where my love lies waiting for me
No we don't have much but this I know
You've made a king out of this average Joe
I had a dream last night
That I was rockin’ out
A sold out crowd
My mama woke me up
She slammed a book upside my head
And said to get a job
And I have no idea where I’m a go
And my mother tells me I am just a fool
And my dad said son it’s all up to you
And I have no idea where I’m a go
Cause I’m just an,
I am just an average Joe
Now I’m in L.A.
I step off the bus
And it smells like shit
A few weeks later
And I’m rockin’ out inside a little coffee house
While the record exec watches on,
Watches on
And I have no idea where I’m a go
And my mother tells me I am just a fool
And my dad says son it’s all up to you
And I have no idea where I’m a go
Cause I’m just an
I am just an average Joe
And now I’m waking up
I’m waking up backstage in my,
My little green room
Who could’ve predicted that someone like me
Could’ve ended up in a place like this
And I have no idea where I’m a go
And my mother tells me I am just a fool
And my dad says son it’s all up to you
And I have no idea where I’m a go
Cause I’m just an
I am just an
I am just