Albuquerque ( /ˈælbəkɜrkiː/) is the largest city in the state of New Mexico, United States. It is the county seat of Bernalillo County and is situated in the central part of the state, straddling the Rio Grande. The city population was 545,852 as of the 2010 Census and ranks as the 32nd-largest city in the U.S. As of June 2007, the city was the sixth fastest-growing in America. It has a metropolitan population of 887,077 as of the 2010 Census. Albuquerque is the 57th-largest United States metropolitan area. The Albuquerque MSA population includes the city of Rio Rancho.
Albuquerque is home to the University of New Mexico (UNM), Kirtland Air Force Base, Sandia National Laboratories, Lovelace Respiratory Research Institute, and Petroglyph National Monument. The Sandia Mountains run along the eastern side of Albuquerque, and the Rio Grande flows through the city, north to south.
It is generally believed that the growing village that was to become Albuquerque was named by the provincial governor Don Francisco Cuervo y Valdes in honor of Don Francisco Fernández de la Cueva y Enríquez de Cabrera, viceroy of New Spain from 1653 to 1660. One of de la Cueva's aristocratic titles was Duke of Alburquerque, referring to the Spanish town of Alburquerque.
World's largest hot-air balloon festival gets underway in Albuquerque, USA
Gov. Gary Johnson's Presidential Run Could Make History - Albuquerque New Mexico News 13 KRQE
Gov. Gary Johnson on KOAT Albuquerque News
Helicopter crashes in Albuquerque
David McElroy - Choctaw Artist @ Albuquerque, N.M. Cultural Meeting
Gary Johnson vs the Mindless Zombies - KOB Eyewitness News 4 Albuquerque
Albuquerque riot March 30
Kristin Gentry - Choctaw Artist @ Albuquerque, N.M. Cultural Meeting
Mayor Richard J. Berry, City of Albuquerque News Conference 7-5-13
Albuquerque News, New Mexico News, Weather and Traffic from KRQE
The Language Academy Albuquerque, NM WARNING/News link
June 2014 Breaking News Islamic Republic seeks world domination Last Days news
Demonstrators Clash With Albuquerque Police
Lunch Time Face Lift: Micro-Current Demonstration and Info
Plot
Chander Pahar is the journey to the fabled, 'Mountain Of The Moon', in search of gold and diamond mines, up against threats as vivid and varied as lurking snakes, pouncing lions, poisonous flora, the fury of an active volcano and a seemingly, almost supernatural mythical horror 'The Bunyip' the guardian angel of the diamond cave. However it is also the story of grit and determination, a story of following one's dream against all odds and emerging victorious, a story about a young lad called Shankar who faced with the prospect of having to make a living as a factory worker in his impoverished village, bids farewell to his family in Keutia, Rural Bengal and through his aid Prasad Das Banopadhay who happens to work for the Uganda railway head office sets sail to the Dark Continent to work as the station master in Nakuru station, it's a dream come true for Shankar who has always envisioned himself as a Expeditionary and holds good knowledge in world geography and map reading.
Keywords: adventurer, diamond-mine, expedition, volcano
Plot
This movie tells the intersecting stories of various people connected to the music business in Nashville. Barbara Jean is the reigning queen of Nashville but is near collapse. Linnea and Delbert Reese have a shaky marriage and 2 deaf children. Opal is a British journalist touring the area. These and other stories come together in a dramatic climax.
Keywords: adultery, assassination, candidate, car-accident, car-racing, country-music, critically-acclaimed, deaf-child, deafness, ensemble-cast
Wild. Wonderful. Sinful. Laughing. Explosive.
The Home of Country Music
The damnedest thing you ever saw!
Barbara Jean: [after singing a song] For Momma and Daddy.
Hal Philip Walker: Who do you think is running Congress? Farmers? Engineers? Teachers? Businessmen? No, my friends. Congress is run by lawyers. A lawyer is trained for two things and two things only. To clarify - that's one. And to confuse - that's the other. He does whichever is to his client's advantage. Did you ever ask a lawyer the time of day? He told you how to make a watch, didn't he? Ever ask a lawyer how to get to Mr. Jones' house in the country? You got lost, didn't you? Congress is composed of five hundred and thirty-five individuals. Two hundred and eighty-eight are lawyers. And you wonder what's wrong in Congress. No wonder we often know how to make a watch, but we don't know the time of day.
Bill: You're supposed to wear the blue dress when I wear this.::Mary: I don't want to dress like twins anymore.::Bill: We're not twins. We're a trio.
Bill: Is this just network or is it, uh...?::John Triplette: No, it's better, it's really better than network. It's going to be syndicated, so I mean, hell, they're going to be showing it for a year and a half
Barbara Jean: [she finishes singing a song at her concert] Thank you. I wanna tell you all a little secret which you might not know, and that is that last night I thanked my lucky stars that I could be here at all to sing for ya. I heard on the radio this little boy, nine years old. Sometimes a deejay'll play a tune and ask everybody to phone in and say how they like it. I was listenin', and this little nine-year-old called in. The song had voices in the background, like the way they use backup voices these days, soundin' like little munchkins. He called up, the deejay said, "How old are you, son?" The boy said, "I'm nine, and I think it's gonna be a hit. " The deejay said, "Why?" "Because it had those chipmunks in it. " And I thought that was so cute, because, well, I can sing like a munchkin myself. I'm real fond of The Wizard of Oz. Plus, I live out, you know, just a ways off of Interstate on the road to Chattanooga. So you can see why I kinda related to that. I think me and the boys are gonna strike up another tune for you now. Let's go, boys. I think there's a storm... seems like it's a-brewin'. That's what my grandaddy used to say before he lost his hearin'. Once he got deaf, he never talked much no more. 'Cept sometimes he'd say "Oh, gosh" or "Durn it" or "My word!" My granny'd go around clickin' her teeth to the radio all day. Boy, was she a lot of fun, and cooked my favorite, roast beef. She was a sweetheart. She raised chickens too. She, um... Did you ever hear a chicken sound? You know how chickens go? Here, chick, chick, chick. Here, chick, chick, chick. Anyway, I guess we'd better strike up this tune before it's too late. Okay, boys. The first job I ever really got... Grandma... She's the one who clacked her false teeth to the radio. She taught my mama how to sing, and my mama taught me. One time she took me, 'cause we was gonna get a new Frigidaire. She took me to the Frigidaire store where the man was advertisin'. This record was goin' 'round, and Mama told him I knew how to sing. He said, "If she learns this tune, I'll give y'all a quarter. " So Mama and I went home... And then what happened? Let's see, I think... Uh, yeah. We went home and I learned both sides of the record in half an hour. We went back and told him that I'd learned 'em, and he said, "Let me hear," so I sang both sides of the record instead of just one. So he gave us cents, and we went across the street and had us a soda. Ever since then I been workin'. I don't... I think ever since then I been workin' and doin' my... - Come on, come on. - Supportin'myself. Anyway...::Barnett: [comes up on stage and starts to pull her from the microphone] Hey, hey. Hey, hey.::Barbara Jean: Am I all right? Am I all right?::Barnett: Oh, you're fine, darlin'. [he guides her offstage]
Star: You look like a guy I was in the navy with. He wouldn't bathe, so we had to pee in his bed to get him discharged.
Connie White: You're English, aren't you?::Julie Christie: Yes.::Connie White: [proudly] I could tell.
Opal: I'm Opal, from the BBC!
Barnett: [In Barbara Jean's hospital room] Now, where's Barnett goin'? Where am I goin'? Hmm?::Barbara Jean: King of the Road.::Barnett: Why am I goin' there?::Barbara Jean: To see Connie.::Barnett: And why am I doin' that?::Barbara Jean: To thank her for singin' at the Opry.::Barnett: Now, who am I doin' that for?::Barbara Jean: You're doin' it for me.::Barnett: That's right. Now, I'm walkin' out now. What do you say as I walk out? You say bye-bye.::Barbara Jean: Bye.::Barnett: Bye-bye.::Barbara Jean: Bye-bye... [He leaves her]... Barnett?
Opal: [speaking into a micro recorder as she walks through a school bus parking lot] The buses! The buses are empty and look almost menacing, threatening, as so many yellow dragons watching me with their hollow, vacant eyes. I wonder how many little black and white children have yellow nightmares, their own special brand of fear for the yellow peril... Damn it, it's got to be more... positive. No, more negative! Start again. Yellow is the color of caution. No. Yellow is the color of cowardice. Yellow is the color of sunshine. And yet I see very little sunshine in the lives of all the little black and white children. I see their lives, rather, as a study in grayness, a mixture of black and... Oh, Christ, no. That's fascist. Yellow! Yellow, yellow, yellow. Yellow fever...
World's largest hot-air balloon festival gets underway in Albuquerque, USA
Gov. Gary Johnson's Presidential Run Could Make History - Albuquerque New Mexico News 13 KRQE
Gov. Gary Johnson on KOAT Albuquerque News
Helicopter crashes in Albuquerque
David McElroy - Choctaw Artist @ Albuquerque, N.M. Cultural Meeting
Gary Johnson vs the Mindless Zombies - KOB Eyewitness News 4 Albuquerque
Albuquerque riot March 30
Kristin Gentry - Choctaw Artist @ Albuquerque, N.M. Cultural Meeting
Mayor Richard J. Berry, City of Albuquerque News Conference 7-5-13
Albuquerque News, New Mexico News, Weather and Traffic from KRQE
The Language Academy Albuquerque, NM WARNING/News link
June 2014 Breaking News Islamic Republic seeks world domination Last Days news
Demonstrators Clash With Albuquerque Police
Lunch Time Face Lift: Micro-Current Demonstration and Info
Man stabs 4 people at church in Albuquerque news vidyo paylas
Paul Pantone with GEET in Albuquerque
Jonah Goldberg Speaks on "Liberal Fascism" in Albuquerque
Video Proof that Albuquerque Mayor Unlawfully Withholding Public Records (Videos) - fixed
Ferguson Shooting: Protests spread across US | BREAKING NEWS 26 NOV 2014
C-SPAN Cities Tour - Albuquerque: Dave DeWitt "Growing Medical Marijuana"
Gov. Gary Johnson Speech at The University of New Mexico (2012-10-15)
Gary Johnson & Jill Stein Debate on CNN with Don Lemon
Gov. Gary Johnson on MSNBC with Chuck Todd
Downtown Albuquerque business bustling
Economic development disputed in downtown ABQ
Discussing the Economy in Albuquerque
Good and bad news for Albuquerque's economy
Small business continues to grow in ABQ
Berry: Businesses are priority to revive economy
New Mexico Bowl a boost to ABQ economy
Berry rolls out plan to boost local economy
Episode 724 | ABQ Economic Development
Albuquerque’s Sluggish Economy Holds Back Apartment Market
Obama speaks in ABQ on economy, education, chile
New businesses popping up in downtown Albuquerque
Growing Old In Albuquerque
New Mexico Bowl brings boost to ABQ economy
Episode 751 Drone Economy in NM
Accion Builds Business
New Mexico Philharmonic
Reputation Marketing In Albuquerque NM
Gathering of Nations Pow Wow Brings Culture and History, Entertainment and 16 Mil to Abq
Romanian Economy | Discover Romania – from tradition to innovation | Economy of Romania
NM Business First Economic Development in New Mexico
(855) 712-855 - Albuquerque NM Fire and Smoke Damage Restoration & Cleanup Company
Best Tripitas and Carnitas recipe on the DISC-IT
Fiestas De Albuquerque 2013
Redefining our food culture: Martin Butts at TEDxUtica
Albuquerque: Advancing the Destination
traditional mexican food latest 2014 pictures
ABQ RAW | Aguas Frescas at Rail Yards Market in Barelas Albuquerque
"Weird Al" Yankovic - Word Crimes
Led Zeppelin's Jimmy Page on guitars, Led Zep and Robert Plant - Full Length | Guardian Live
Mariachi Tradicional Preforms Live Music at Gardunos Restaurant Winrock Mall Albuquerque
Albuquerque Latin Dance Festival - Latin Dance Festival
Culture Shocked : Life In Sicily - Episode 10 : Where's the Mexican Food?
Bugs Bunny Albuquerque
Grab a bite in Albuquerque's International District
Cosecha celebration at Las Pistoleras Instituto Cultural de Arte in El Prado, 9/21/2013
2014 Albuquerque American Indian Art Festival
Chile Rio Albuquerque Friday Night Full Moon on the Patio - GreenOffers
Clark Tenakhongva at ¡Globalquerque! 2008
10.5.13 Grecian Festival Albuquerque, NM #1
Traditional Greek Wedding, Billy {+} Niki, St. George Greek Orthodox Church/Sheraton Uptown
Lots of Great Free Things to Do in Albuquerque!
500yrs ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION OF PORTUGUESE CULTURE MALACCA
Artist Jaque Fragua on 'Street Text' at 516 Arts ABQ, NM
Kardemimmit Interview at ¡Globalquerque! 2013
Tales of Hansik - E03C05 Noodles in Korea Today
Albuquerque Health Care in Your Home
Alternative Health Concepts | Albuquerque NM | 505-821-9609
Los Ranchos de Albuquerque, NM Obamacare Healthcare Health Insurance Marketplace & Exchange
Catarina de Albuquerque | 2013 Health and Human Rights Lecture
Alternative Health Concepts Albuquerque Excellent Five Star Review by Sherie...
House Cleaning Albuquerqe - 505-414-7887 Green Sweep - Commercial Cleaning Albuquerque
Dangerous Police State In Albuquerque
HEALTH ALERT FOR ALBUQUERQUE
SPECIALIZED ORAL HEALTH CENTER Dr. Gustavo Albuquerque
Best pediatric dentists in Albuquerque|Best Dentists in Albuquerque
Breaking: Albuquerque Police Blow The Whistle On Killer Cops
Albuquerque Natural Health Center
Albuquerque Homes - Abq Homes For Sale 505-362-2205
Albuquerque Police Train to "Shoot First"
Arthrokinetic Reflex/Biofeedback/Z-Health/Albuquerque, New Mexico
Meridian Health Alternative, LLC Introduces Mobile Biomeridian Testing Services to Albuquerque, NM
Albuquerque Police & Community Relations Collaborative: Mental Health Providers
Inspirational Life Quotes: Wants help with health issues 2014-03-22 Albuquerque, NM
Smoke causes health concerns in Albuquerque
Shock Video: Albuquerque Cops Kill Homeless Man
Albuquerque School of Massage Therapy & Health Sciences owned Dawn M. Saunders at the 2012 AFMTE
Vanessa Living in Albuquerque Lovelace Health Plan New Mexico
Albuquerque Natural Health Center - Biofeedback
BNV 2013 Finals Round #2 - Albuquerque
Lewis University - Albuquerque
Albuquerque's University Of New Mexico (Part 3) (Banjo by Lars Fabricius-Olsen)
University of New Mexico - Andijan Polka and Khorezm Lyazgi - Uzbekistan
GCU at Albuquerque - Ribbon Cutting and Tour
Is Higher Education Worth It? Student Debt & University Advice!
Pgm 227 EUA Contacto NJ - Beatriz Albuquerque
Build Your Own Education Worldview: Hailey Heinz at TEDxABQED
Teens Talk About SBHCs in New Mexico - NASBHC Convention 2012
Albuquerque District USACE-UNM-MOU
The Big Service | Greater Albuquerque Church of Christ
Lewis University - Albuquerque Open House on KRQE
GCU's Albuquerque Campus
Dover Hydraulic Elevator at the UNM Continuing Education South Building Albuquerque, NM
Jose Martinez speaks about the GCU-Albuquerque campus.
NAU Job Fair and Education Opportunities
Albuquerque Mayor Richard Berry on Economic Development and Education
Mayor Richard J. Berry, City of Albuquerque News Conference 8-13-14
Sandia Prep: College prep education. And so much more.
Optomec's Metal 3D Printers to US Universities
St Mary's University - Physical & Sport Education Open Day Video
GCU Bachelor of Arts in Dance Education
Country Living University - Webinar Classroom
Albuquerque Tourism Video
Albuquerque Tourism
Introducing ABQ Experts - You Insider's Guide to Albuq.
Visit Albuquerque New Mexico - Tourism Video
Travel & Tourism Matter
Cityscape - Albuquerque, New Mexico
Albuquerque Kids talk about tourism
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Breaking Bad Tour In Albuquerque!!
Travel Guide New Mexico tm Albuquerque New Mexico
Albuquerque named a hot spot for tourists
Hundreds of balloons take to the skies over Albuquerque
Albuquerque Slow Mountain Drive_small
Grim Reaper visits Albuquerque cemetery
City of Albuquerque - Breaking Bad, A Duke City Farewell
Beautiful Lights Of Albuquerque New Mexico Land Of Enchantment
Albuquerque Ballon Festival
Albuquerque's New WHEELS Museum and Railroad Roundhouse
The Breaking Bad Tour of Albuquerque
Downtown Albuquerque, New Mexico
COLORES | Villa De Albuquerque | New Mexico PBS
Passing through Albuquerque, New Mexico
Albuquerque (1948) Randolph Scott, Barbara Britton, George 'Gabby' Hayes WESTERN
Albuquerque 1948 Full Lenght Western Movie
IVONALDO ALBUQUERQUE CÂNTICOS DE SIÃO VOL 1 CD COMPLETO
IVONALDO ALBUQUERQUE CÂNTICOS DE SIÃO VOL. 2 CD COMPLETO
IVONALDO ALBUQUERQUE CÂNTICOS DE SIÃO VOL 6 CD COMPLETO
Tenha ânimo - Jannayna Albuquerque
Panelaço com João Gordo - Antepasto JG com Otávio Albuquerque
Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta 2013
Atributos de Deus
The Noite (01/09/14) - Entrevista com Daniela Albuquerque
Reconheça quem é Deus - PR Humberto Albuquerque
Boca Cheia com Otavio Albuquerque do Rolê Gourmet - Parte 1 #01
kombato mestre paulo albuquerque
DJ Room #Rooftop Budweiser | Albuquerque
ALBUQUERQUE ____/31 MINUTES AT WARUNG\____
The ALBUQUERQUE AQUARIUM & ZOO
Eleições 2014 - Entrevista com Beto Albuquerque
VIGILIA DO RODO Pastora Vânia Albuquerque em Maceió
Palestra do Mestre Paulo Albuquerque fundador da Kombato Ltda
Mensagem Prª Jannayna Albuquerque
Albuquerque b1b HNQO @ Terraza Music Park (Carnaval 2014)
Poderes da Mente com Franklin Albuquerque
Homes for sale - 8401 RANCHO VENTOSO Court, Albuquerque, NM
Homes for sale - 8401 RANCHO VENTOSO Court, Albuquerque, NM 87120
Homes for sale - 211 GIRARD Boulevard, Albuquerque, NM 87106
Jon Jones | Team Jackson's secret place in Albuquerque
8216 EMERALD SKY Avenue SW, Albuquerque, NM 87121
Rosa Parks Albuquerque NM 87120
11727 Pocono Albuquerque NM 87123
9219 Drolet Albuquerque NM 87114
1010 Lead Albuquerque NM 87102
213 Alameda Albuquerque NM 87113
The Breaking Bad Tour of Albuquerque
650 Paisano Albuquerque NM 87123
10751 Galaxia Park Albuquerque NM 87114
10148 Calle Chulita Albuquerque NM 87114
4008 Whistler Albuquerque NM 87114
6317 Buenos Aires Albuquerque NM 87120
3213 Reina Albuquerque NM 87111
4800 Sandpoint Albuquerque NM 87114
641 Cougar Albuquerque NM 87122
7232 Bobwhite Albuquerque NM 87109
8336 Bluffs Edge Albuquerque NM 87120
8714 La Sala Del Centro Albuquerque NM 87111
9650 Wilshire Albuquerque NM 87122
Well, they say
that Santa Fe
Is less than ninety miles away,
And I got time to roll a number
and rent a car.
Oh, Albuquerque.
I've been flyin'
down the road,
And I've been starvin' to be alone,
And independent from the scene
that I've known.
Albuquerque.
So I'll stop when I can,
Find some fried eggs
and country ham.
I'll find somewhere where
they don't care who I am.
Oh, Albuquerque,
Here are the actual song lyrics.
NOTE: Lyrics in Italics denote lyrics that were sung.
Lyrics:
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop
You know the place
well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy
Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
My mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast
Awww - Big bowl of sauerkraut
Every single mornin
It wa driving me crazy
I said to my mom
I said "Hey, mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?"
And my dear, sweet mother
She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me
And she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU"
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old
That's when I swore that someday
Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place
Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer
And the towels are oh so fluffy
Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long
And anyone on the street will glady shave your back for a nickel
Wacka wacka doodoo yeah
Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest
To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
That's right, a first class one-way ticket to
Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Oh yeah
You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
Except for me
You know why?
'Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Ah ha ha ha
Ah ha ha
Ahhhh
So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage
I crawled on my hands and kneew for three full days
Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag
And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel
But finally I arived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's OK, they're clean
Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C
And I turned on the SpectraVision
And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door
Well now, who could that be?
I say "Who is it?"
No answer
"Who is it?"
There's no answer
"WHO IS IT?"
They're not sayin' anything
So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected
It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel
And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"
"That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"
And he's like "Tough"
And I'm like "Give it"
And he's like "Make me"
And I'm like "'Kay"
So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus
And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows
And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
Yes indeed, you better believe it
And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
And twenty seconds later, I heard a farmiliar voice
And you know what it said?
I'll tell you what it said
It said
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
In Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel
But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest
I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
But first, I decided to buy some donuts
So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"
I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
I said "You got any jelly donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"
I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
I said "You got any apple fritters?"
He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
I said "You got any bear claws?"
He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
"No, we're outta bear claws"
I said "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?"
He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
I said "OK, I'll take that"
So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
(rabid gnawing sounds)
Oh man, they were just going nuts
They were tearin' me apart
You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head"
I believe it went a little something like this . . .
Get 'em off me
Get 'em off me
No, get 'em off, get 'em off
Oh, oh God, oh God
Oh, get 'em off me
Oh, oh God
Ah, (more screaming)
I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
Like a constipated weiner dog
And as luck wouls have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
Her name was Zelda
She was a caligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
I'll never forget the first thing she said to me.
She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"
That's when I knew it was true love
We were inseperable after that
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
The world was our burrito
So we got married and we bought us a house
And had two beautiful children - Nathaniel and Superfly
Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah
But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me
She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said "Woah, hold on now, baby"
"I'm just not ready for that kinda commitment"
So we broke up and I never saw her again
But that's just the way things go
In Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Anyway, things really started lookin' upi for me
Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream
That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler
I even made employee of the month after I put that grease fire out with my face
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
I was gettin' a lot of attitude
OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
"No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"
So I did
And then he gets all indignant on me
He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"
Well, that's just great
How was I supposed to know that?
I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy
So what's he complaining about?
Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the street and says he hasn't had a bit in three days
Well, I knew what he meant
But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over
And I'm like "Hey, come on, don'tcha get it?"
But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
(screaming sounds)
You know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation
Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?
Anyway, um, um, where was I?
Kinda lost my train of thought
Uh, well, uh, OK
Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it
But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is
I hate sauerkraut
That's all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up
And find yourself in an existential quandry
Full of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that
Somewhere out there in this crazy mixed-up universe of ours
There's still a little place called
Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
I said "A" (A)
"L" (L)
"B" (B)
"U" (U)
"querque" (querque)
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque
(belch)
Here are the lyrics from the album booklet.
NOTE: The following lyrics are type exactly as they appear in the booklet.
Lyrics:
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
living in a box under the stairs in a corner of
the basement of the house half a block down
the street from Jerr's Bait Shop... You know
the place... Well anyway, back then life was
going swell and everything was juuuuust
peachy... except of course for the undeniable
fact that every single morning my mother
would . . . you know what? The rest of these lyrics
aren't gonna fit on here. There's just no room
left. What a drag, huh? I guess we didn't plan
this out very well . . . probably should've used a
smaller font or a bigger piece of paper or some-
thing. Sorry. We all feel just horrible about this.
Well, I guess you'll just have to listen really carefully
and try to figure out the words for yourself.
Good luck.
I didn't bother to blow you off i never even thought to call you when i saw you
yesterday you said everything was fine and all this laughing means i'm running away
cause the things we have are %#&$#! and the things we had are gone sometimes it
takes so long to wake up what's the matter with my life anyway? friends around me
like to talk i guess they want to know if i'm gonna get a job or if i'm gonna sleep
'til noon all these people need to keep their mouth shut cause in the end the choise
is mine you never heard me asking you don't want to play a part i'm living on living
so i guess i know who my friends really are all those times it came to stealing you
never let me go that far and then you told me not to smoke it but i did and it took
me far away, yeah it took me far away
I've spent twenty three nights in this one horse town
I've been jacked up, been broke down for too long
I've been bustin' my tail in the blazing sun
Watching jack rabbits watch tumbleweeds run until dawn
Something's whispering in my ear that
I should be light years from here in
Albuquerque where the skies are blue
(I'm gonna take a bus, take a train, gonna' fly)
(Prayin' she's there after all this time)
Albuquerque my heart aches for you
(Stretchin' out across the lazy haze)
(Haunting my dreams calling my name)
Three more days 'til I get my pay
I need my money but I can't stay another night
I've been tossin', turnin' in my bed
I can't get her out, out of my head to save my life
Shake the sand out of my boots
Six hundred thirty-four miles to you in
Albuquerque where the skies are blue
(Gonna take a bus, take a train gonna' fly)
(Prayin' she's there after all this time)
Albuquerque my heart aches for you
(Stretchin' out across the lazy haze)
(Haunting my dreams calling my name)
Yes it does
Oh in Albuquerque where the skies are blue
(Gonna take a bus, take a train, gonna' fly)
(Prayin' she's there after all this time)
Albuquerque my heart aches for you
(Stretchin' out across the lazy haze)
(Haunting my dreams, calling my name)
Albuquerque where the skies are blue
(I'm gonna take a bus, take a train, gonna' fly)
(Prayin' she's there after all this time)
Albuquerque my heart aches for you
(Stretchin' out across the lazy haze)