• Lyrics: play full screen play karaoke
• Cannibalism - Monty Python
• Cannibalism - Lads

Sailor #1: Still no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: That's a rather personal question, sir.
Sailor #1: (low voice)You stupid git. I meant how long
has it been in the lifeboat? You've destroyed the
atmosphere now.
Sailor #2: I'm sorry.
Sailor #1: Shut up. Start again.
Sailor #1: Still no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: 33 days, sir.
Sailor #1: Thirty-three days?
Sailor #2: We can't go on much longer. (low voices) I
didn't think I destroyed the atmosphere.
Sailor #1: Shut up.
Sailor #2: Well, I don't think I did.
Sailor #1: 'Course you did.
Sailor #2: (aside, to 3) Did you think I destroyed the
atmosphere?
Sailor #3: Yes I think you did.
Sailor #1: Shut up. Shut up!
Sailor #1: Still no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: 33 days, sir.
Sailor #4: Have we started again? (slap)
Sailor #1: STILL no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: 33 days, sir.
Sailor #1: Thirty-three days?
Sailor #2: We can't go on much longer, sir. We haven't
eaten since the fifth day.
Sailor #3: We're done for, we're done for!
Sailor #1: Shut up, Maudling.
Sailor #2: We've just got to keep hoping. Someone may
find us.
Sailor #4: How we feeling, Captain?
Captain: Not too good. I...I feel so weak.
Sailor #2: We can't hold out much longer.
Captain: Listen...chaps...there's still a chance.
I'm...done for, I've...got a gammy leg and I'm going
fast; I'll never get through. But...some of you might.
So...you'd better eat me.
Sailor #1: Eat you, sir?
Captain: Yes. Eat me.
Sailor #2: Iiuuhh! With a gammy leg?
Captain: You needn't eat the leg, Thompson. There's
still plenty of good meat. Look at that arm.
Sailor #3: It's not just the leg, sir.
Captain: What do you mean?
Sailor #3: Well, sir...it's just that -
Captain: Why don't you want to eat me?
Sailor #3: I'd rather eat Johnson, sir! (points to
sailor #4)
Sailor #2: So would I, sir.
Captain: I see.
Sailor #4: Well that's settled then...everyone's gonna
eat me!
Sailor #1: Uh, well.
Sailor #2: What, sir?
Sailor #1:: No, no you go ahead, please, I won't.......
Sailor #4: Oh, nonsense, sir, you're starving. Tuck in.
Sailor #1: No, no, it's not that.
Sailor #2: What's the matter with Johnson, sir?
Sailor #1: Well, he's not kosher.
Sailor #3: That depends how we kill him, sir.
Sailor #1: Yes, that's true. But to be perfectly frank
I...I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat
Hodges.
Sailor #2: Oh well, all right.
Sailor #3: I still prefer Johnson.
Captain: I wish you'd all stop bickering and eat me.
Sailor #2: Look. I tell you what. Those who want to can
eat Johnson. And you, sir, can have my leg. And we make
some stock from the Captain, and then we'll have
Johnson cold for supper.
Sailor #1: Good thinking, Hodges.
Sailor #4: And we'll finish off with the peaches.
(picks up a tin of peaches)
Sailor #3: And we can start off with the avocados.
(picks up two avocados) Sailor #1: Waitress! (a
waitress walks in) We've decided now, we're going to

If you are looking at your boyfriend
thinking he's so yummy
If you are looking at your girlfriend
thinking she's good enough to eat
Well think on this don't think too long
Well think on this...
Cannibalism's wrong
Cannibalism's wrong
you have to be strong
If you are starving on an air-plane
'cos you're in economy
And if you have crashed down in the ocean
and you're allergic to sea food
By eating me you could stay strong
And I could learn to hop along
Apart from this
Cannibalism's wrong
You must fight it don't deny
Cannibalism's wrong
Come on people, can't you see
Cannibalism's wrong
Don't be tempted, you have to be strong
We all know someone, who has had a bite
Taken out of them by, somebody else's spite
It happens every day, but does that make it right
They want their lives to be prolonged
And not be carved up by your tongue
So listen up...
Cannibalism's wrong
You must fight, it don't deny
Cannibalism's wrong
Come on people, can't you see
Cannibalism's wrong
Don't be tempted, to eat them
Cannibalism's wrong
Don't deny it you must fight
Cannibalism's wrong
Don't eat your best friend's thigh you know why
Cannibalism's wrong
Even if they deserve it, you can't eat them 'cos it's wrong
OUTRO QUATRO