He's not a man. He's a fucking thing from hell!
Ivan Wrechik: You are not a man. You are a fucking thing from hell!
Plot
In the year 3000, the deep space salvage ship Mother III locates the vanished starship Demeter in the Carpathian System. Captain Abraham Van Helsing and his crew composed of the blonde assistant Aurora Ash; the crippled navigator Arthur "The Professor" Holmwood, who believes that he is a genius; the strong and dumb Humvee; the intern Mina Murry; and the drug addicted 187, decide to claim the possession of Demeter. While exploring the spacecraft, they see a tape of fifty years ago of Captain Varna telling that he was locked in his cabin since his crew was acting weird after getting a cargo of coffins in Transylvania station. When 187 decides to search in the coffins for some possible hidden dope, he cuts his hand and his blood awakes Count Orlock, a.k.a. Count Dracula. When Aurora discloses who Dracula is, the survivors try to find a way to destroy the vampire.
Keywords: 3000s, coffin, cyborg, dracula, impalement, leather-pants, spaceship, spoof, trapped-in-space, vampire
In space, the sun never rises.
187: I want to watch my anaconda spit all over your snow white ass.
187: Did I ever tell you how many times I'd see you and want to ejaculate all over your bazonkas... All the times I stayed up late, high as a kite, in the non-gravitational atmosphere, while I stroked my anaconda, and dreamed about your snow-white ass
Humvee: All that bloodsuckin', that's some white people shit.
Capt. Abraham Van Helsing: For a computer, you sure are bitchy.::Aurora Ash: It's all in the programming, baby.
Capt. Abraham Van Helsing: He's after Aurora, he wants to kill her!::Arthur "The Professor" Holmwood: But I believe he said he wants to tittie fuck her first.
Plot
Avery had to drop out of college to support his girlfriend Krista and their son Jordan, but he saved his money and is eager to get back in the game. He has returned to the swim meet circuit and is now having the time of his life. One night, after winning a race, he is approached by a college scout. Thrilled, he goes out with his friends Dre and Cashmere to celebrate. A gun used in a drive-by shooting somehow finds its way into Cashmere's car. The cops arrive, and soon the trio land in jail. Cashmere has an easier time adapting to penitentiary life than Dre and Avery, who are more unfamiliar with the gang life that pervades the environment. Avery clings to Krista and Jordan as reasons to hold on, but there is only one man who can, and will, fight on his behalf - Charles, his swimming scout, who believes in his innocence without question. Regardless of the outcome, Avery must learn to hold on to his ideals after the brutality he has witnessed.
Keywords: african-american, athlete, black-american, cell-mate, false-accusation, group-of-friends, independent-film, male-friendship, prison, prison-rape