2015 Harvest Fest Hay Bale contest. The Glendive Ranger-Review warned the community about the Pumpkin Patch Predator! By Daniel Nolker Ranger-Review Staff Writer The Glendive Pumpkin Patch Predator cruses another victim. Early Thursday morning an unnamed witness found the crushed body of Glendive resident R. E. View as he was walking home. Sources from law enforcement have released a description of the killer. The account relates the story of a pumpkin that started out destined for greatness but turned to pure evil. Tragedy plagued Jack O. Lantern even when he was the smallest pumpkin in the patch. While still green and tender, his best friend and mentor P. Umpkin was plucked from the patch and had his guts scooped out. When Lantern saw the pie on the farmer’s window sill, he knew his best friend had been crushed into a gory puree. From that moment on, Lantern vowed to grow into the largest and most powerful pumpkin that had ever been. Once ripe, Lantern rolled over the farmer and his wife before wreaking havoc across Glendive. As he continues to crush his victims into pulp, mass hysteria claims the community. Watch behind you for the giant orange ball of death. Be safe and eat more pie. Reach Daniel Nolker at news@rangerreview.com.

• published: 19 Oct 2015
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