Taking the world by farce
2 Frogs 1 Pig Epic Mayhem
Plot
When 3 Muppet fans learn that Tex Richman wants to drill under the Muppet Theater for oil, Gary, Mary and Walter set out to find the Muppets who have been split up for years so that they can put on one last show and save the Muppet Theater. 'Kermit the Frog' (qv) now lives in his own mansion depressed in Hollywood, 'The Great Gonzo' is a high class plumber at Gonzo's Royal Flush, 'Fozzie Bear' (qv) performs with a tribute band called The Moopets, 'Miss Piggy' (qv) is the plus-size fashion editor at Vogue Paris, and Animal is at a celebrity anger management rehab center in Santa Barbara.
Keywords: based-on-tv-series, bel-air, brother-brother-relationship, bus, comeback, electric-fence, evil-laughter, fencing, hdtv, henchman
They're closer than you think.
Muppet domination
Fozzie Bear: Wow, that was such an expensive looking explosion! I can't believe we had that in the budget.
[from trailer]::Gary: Whoa whoa whoa, wait wait wait, stop! [looks directly into the camera] Are there Muppets in this movie?
Fozzie Bear: Check it out, Fart-Shoes!::[Steps on the whoopie cushions to make fart sounds]
[from trailer]::[the Muppets are sitting in jail]::Warden: Are you, uh, the Muppets?::Prisoner: [in the jail cell next to them] Hey! I'm a Muppet.
[from trailer]::Statler: Is this movie in 3-D?::Waldorf: Nope! The Muppets are as one-dimensional as they've always been!
Veronica: I'm gonna shoot straight: you guys aren't famous anymore.::Fozzie Bear: Yeesh. I wish she'd shot a little more curvy.
Rico Rodriguez: Are you one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?::Kermit the Frog: Yes I am!
Statler: I always dreamed we'd be back here.::Waldorf: Dreams? Those were nightmares!
Kermit the Frog: Do what I do: Imagine the audience naked.
[repeated line]::Tex Richman: Maniacal laugh... maniacal laugh...
Miss Piggy: How long does it take to mail a stinking letter?::Kermit the Frog: Piggy, you have to be patient.::Miss Piggy: Well, I'm going to talk to the mayor.::Michael Bloomberg: Yes, Miss Piggy?::Miss Piggy: Oh, Mayor Bloomberg! Take me to the front of this line.::Michael Bloomberg: Sorry, Miss Piggy, but that would be rude, and one thing New York is known for is niceness.::Miss Piggy: What has he done to this city?
Claire's Mom: Look what I found.::The Great Gonzo: What's that?::Claire's Mom: It's an inflatable Santa. Can someone help me blow it up?::Crazy Harry: Did someone say "blow it up"? [Detonates explosives]::Claire's Mom: That's why you have to choose your words carefully around here.
Kermit the Frog: This post office is going postal!
Waldorf: [as the Muppets are dropped off by the postman] Look at what the post office sent.::Statler: Yeah. Return to sender!
Mobster: Hey, it's that looney shrimp that called us earlier.::Pepe the Prawn: They call me the Prawn.::Mobster: Hey! Are you correcting my friend over here? Because if you are, I'm gonna dip you in cocktail sauce and bite your tasty little head off!::Pepe the Prawn: Shrimp is fine.
Miss Piggy: Kermit, if you really want to go to the North Pole, then go ahead.::Kermit the Frog: Oh, thank you, Piggy.::Miss Piggy: And do me a favor. When you get there... stay there!
Pepe the Prawn: We'd love to help you take those letters to Santa.::Rizzo the Rat: But our flying unicorns are at the shop.
Joy: Welcome to North Pole Airlines. We have more flights to the North Pole than any other airline: one.
Fozzie Bear: Hey, guys, here's a joke for ya. Who delivers presents to baby sharks? Santa Jaws! [Alarm goes off]::Bobo the Bear: All right, step aside. Did you know that telling jokes at an airport terminal is a federal offense? Especially jokes that are that bad.::Fozzie Bear: Well, if you didn't like that one, I've got a hundred more. [takes out index cards]::Bobo the Bear: He's got cards! [Tackles Fozzie]
Statler: This is my favorite Christmas tradition.::Waldorf: Carolers?::Statler: No, heckling them! [both laugh] Hey, how about you do Silent Night?::Waldorf: Not sing it, just stay silent all night!
Plot
Dorothy Gale lives with her Auntie Em and Uncle Henry in a trailer park in Kansas. Dorothy has dreams of becoming a famous singer, but when a tornado hits Kansas and Dorothy rushes to save Toto, her prawn (she couldn't afford a dog), she is whisked away to Oz where she meets the four witches (all played by Miss Piggy) and the Munchkins of Oz (the rats). On her way to see the Wizard, she meets the Scarecrow (Kermit), the Tin Thing (Gonzo), and the Cowardly Lion (Fozzie) who all wish to have something given by the wizard. On their way to Emerald City, they are captured by the Wicked Witch of the West (of course, Miss Piggy) and her flying monkeys (other muppets). When they finally make it back to Emerald City, the Wizard is really a man from Hollywood. But he "grants" their wishes, but what they wanted they already had inside (there's a lesson there). When Dorothy finally is back in Kansas, she becomes what she had wanted, a famous singer and on the Muppets Star Search show.
Keywords: based-on-novel, goofy-holler, lion, puppet, scarecrow, the-muppets, why-are-we-whispering, witch
Hit the Bricks this May!
Everyone's Favorite Story Becomes One Twisted Tale.
Dorothy: You're all big! And you're talking...::Toto: Si... but more importantly, I'm naked, okay!
Dorothy: [referring to the Tin Thing] You think he's stuck?::Scarecrow: Do you think he needs our help?::Toto: You think he can check my e-mails?
Tin Thing: Welcome to the Total Intelligence Network, T.I.N. for short.
Kermit the Frog as "Scarecrow": [Angry; referring to the crow pecking at him] That's the last straw!::Crow: No, I see one right here!
Dorothy: [to the Muppet Munchkins] I know a rat when I see one.
[as the Wicked Witch of the West]::Miss Piggy: Hahahaha! I'm not melting! Ah nuts! [begins to melt]
Miss Piggy (as Tattypoo): [looking at the silver slippers] And look how sparkly they are!::Dorothy: [in sing-song tone] Uh-uh!::[Piggy and the Munchkinlanders feign laughter]::Miss Piggy (as Tattypoo): Listen, high pockets, here's how things work in enchanted lands. Shoes have magical powers. If you have the shoes, you get the powers. But if you're going to question every little detail, the whole thing's gonna fall apart and we might as well call it a day, okay?::[Piggy turns away from her]::Miss Piggy (as Tattypoo): They're Manolos...!::The Munchkinlanders: [taunting her] Manolos!::Dorothy: Manolos! Why didn't you say so?::[grabs shoes from Tattypoo]
Kermit the Frog as "Scarecrow": [to Wizard of Oz] Hello there, Mr. Oz. By any chance are you related to Frank Oz?
Waldorf: There's only two things I don't like about lion's jokes.::Statler: What's that?::Waldorf: My ears.
Pepe the Prawn: I'm so darn sexy it hurts!
Plot
The owner of a bank (Miss Bitterman) wants to own the Muppet Theatre so she can build a nightclub over it. After she tricks Pepe into giving her the only copy of the contract between her father and the Muppets, she changes it so the Muppets have very little time to pay a debt they owe. Meanwhile, the Muppets are trying to put on a Christmas show. After the Muppets are confronted by Bitterman, they make a lot of sacrifices to save up so they can keep the Theatre.
Keywords: angel, apostrophe-in-title, christmas, despair, holiday-in-title, movie-in-title, punctuation-in-title, puppet, the-muppets, theater
More holiday fun than humanly possible!
[In a parody of 'Moulin Rouge.']::Robin: I'm the Green Fairy.::Kermit: But what are you doing in my drink?::Fozzie: The backstroke.
Daniel: I know that Bitterman changed the contract.::Kermit: Wha- how do you know THAT? Oh, wait a second, you don't run one of those Muppet Internet fan sites, do ya?
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: Muppet movies are always the best.::Kermit: You mean that?::Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: FOR ME TO POOP ON!
Rachel Bitterman: You are very fit for a plus sized pig.::Miss Piggy: And you will not look good with a plus sized lip.
Sam the Eagle: It seems the words on my mug are right: "It is hard to soar with Eagles when you work with Turkeys."
Kermit: [whispers] Psst, come close. [Daniel leans foreward and Kermit shouts] I wish I had never been born!
Kermit: I wish I've never been born!
Kermit: We're going to get you that money.::Rachel Bitterman: Yeah, when pigs fly. [Miss Piggy suddeny comes flying by, dangling from the "five golden rings"] For the record, I consider that flying pig to be a coincidence and not a sign from God!
Kermit: [watching Rizzo the Rat on "Fear Factor"] How can NBC live with themselves?
Pepe the Prawn: I got good news! I got the fire permit, the health permit, the permit to open a topless nightclub, all the contracts...::The Great Gonzo: Wait a minute. The permit to open a topless nightclub?::Pepe the Prawn: Better safe than sorry, okay?::The Great Gonzo: Good point.
Plot
After telling the story of Flint's last journey to young Jim Hawkins, Billy Bones has a heart attack and dies just as Jim and his friends are attacked by pirates. The gang escapes into the town where they convince Squire Trelawney to hire out a boat and crew to find the hidden treasure, which was revealed by Bones before he died. On their voyage across the seas, they soon find out that not everyone on board can be trusted.
Keywords: actor-playing-multiple-roles, animal-that-acts-human, arrest, based-on-book, based-on-novel, breaking-the-fourth-wall, disarming-someone, dual-wield, exotic-locale, explosion
Set sail for Muppet mayhem!
Billy Bones: Beware lads! Beware.::Jim Hawkins: What, the one-legged man?::Billy Bones: Aye. But also, beware runnin' with scissors or any other pointy object. It's all good fun, until somebody loses a - Ahhhh!
Rizzo: What's wrong?::Gonzo: It just feels so weird.::Rizzo: You mean that Mr. Arrow's dead?::Gonzo: Yeah, that... and my pants are filled with starfish.::Rizzo: You and your hobbies.
Statler: "Take a cruise," you said. "See the world," you said. Now here we are, stuck on the front of this stupid ship.::Waldorf: Well, it could be worse. We could be stuck in the audience.
Mudwell the Mudbunny: [sobbing] Dead Tom's dead. Long John shot him!::Walleyed Pike: But Dead Tom's always been dead. That's why he's called Dead Tom.
Zoot: Hey man, I can't figure out what side we're on. Are we with the pirates or the frog captain?::Floyd: Oh, hey, man. Just play the gig. Never get involved in politics.::Animal: Politics! Politics!
Rizzo: Terrific. Captured by crazed wild pigs and sacrificed hideously before a pagan altar.::Gonzo: Are we lucky or what?
Gonzo: One leg, Jim, count'em, one.
Benjamina Gunn: You left me standing at the altar.::Captain Abraham Smollett: I was on a ship headed for Zanzibar. I got cold feet.::Benjamina Gunn: You're a frog. You're supposed to have cold feet.
Benjamina Gunn: All right. No more Ms. Nice Guy.
Rizzo: He's some kind of a blind fiend.::Gonzo: I believe they prefer visually challenged fiend.
Let's Sing!
Kermit The Frog: It's not easy being green.
The Swedish Chef is a Muppet that appeared on The Muppet Show. He was operated by Jim Henson and Frank Oz simultaneously and is now puppeteered by Bill Barretta.
A parody of television chefs, the Swedish Chef wears a toque blanche and has bushy eyebrows that completely obscure his eyes. He was one of the few Muppets to employ an actual puppeteer's hands, originally Oz's, in the designs – that is, they were visible to the audience through his sleeves and facilitated handling food and utensils.
Nearly all Swedish Chef sketches begin with him in a kitchen, waving some utensils while singing his signature song in his typical mock Swedish – a semi-comprehensible gibberish mimicking Swedish phonology and prosody. The song's lyrics vary slightly from one episode to the next, but always end with "Bork, bork, bork!" (translates as 'away/be gone') as the Chef throws the utensils (or whatever else may be in his hands) aside with a clatter that seems to startle him.
After this introduction, the Chef begins to prepare a recipe while giving a gibberish explanation of what he is doing. His commentary is spiced with the occasional English word to clue in the viewer to what he is attempting; for example, "Aweenda shmure da froog's legs." These hints are necessary as he frequently uses unorthodox culinary equipment (firearms, sports equipment, hand tools, etc.) to prepare his dishes. In the pilot episode of The Muppet Show, the Chef's commentary was supplemented by Chinese subtitles, but this was abandoned for all other episodes of the series. The sketch typically degenerates into a slapstick finale where the ingredients or equipment get the better of him.
Emeril John Lagasse (pronounced /ˈɛmərəl ləˈɡɑːsi/ EM-ər-əl lə-GAH-see; born October 15, 1959) is an American celebrity chef, restaurateur, television personality, and cookbook author. A regional James Beard Award winner, he is perhaps most notable for his Food Network shows Emeril Live and Essence of Emeril as well as catchphrases such as “Kick it up a notch!” and “Bam!” The "Emeril Empire" of media, products and restaurants generates an estimated US$150 million annually in revenue.
Lagasse was born on October 15, 1959, in Fall River, Massachusetts to a Canadian Québécois father, John, and Portuguese mother, Hilda. He worked in a Portuguese bakery as a teenager where he discovered his talent for cooking and subsequently enrolled in a culinary arts program at Diman Regional Vocational Technical High School. His talents as a percussionist earned him a scholarship to the New England Conservatory of Music but he chose instead to attend Johnson & Wales University in hopes of becoming a chef. He met his first wife, Elizabeth Kief, while working at a restaurant called "Venus De Milo" to pay his way through school. He graduated from Johnson and Wales in 1978 and the school later awarded him a honorary doctorate.
Adam Hills (born 10 July 1970) is an Australian comedian and television presenter. He has appeared on Australian and British television and is best known for his role hosting the Australian ABC music trivia show Spicks and Specks. He has been nominated for a Perrier Comedy Award and Gold Logie Award.
He began performing as a stand-up comedian in 1989 at the age of 19, and since 1997 has produced ten solo shows which have toured internationally. He has performed at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, the Melbourne International Comedy Festival and the Montreal Just for Laughs festival, earning three consecutive Perrier Award nominations for his Edinburgh shows in 2001, 2002 and 2003.
In 2002, he scored a minor hit with his single "Working Class Anthem", in which he sang the lyrics of the Australian National Anthem to the tune of "Working Class Man", a famous song by Australian rocker Jimmy Barnes.
Originally from the Sydney suburb of Loftus, Hills developed an interest in comedy after discovering an inflight comedy channel on a plane at the age of eight. Hills was born without a right foot and wears a prosthesis, which has become a frequent source of comedy in his act. He studied a Bachelor of Arts (Communications) at Macquarie University, graduating in 1991.
Hayley Nichole Williams (born December 27, 1988) is an American singer and songwriter. She is the lead vocalist of the American rock band Paramore.
In 2002, at the age of 13, Williams moved from her hometown, Meridian, Mississippi, to Franklin, Tennessee. She met band members Josh and Zac Farro in her new school. While still in school, she tried out for a local funk cover band The Factory, in which she met Jeremy Davis.
Williams was discovered in 2003 by managers Dave Steunebrink and Richard Williams who signed the 14-year-old to a production deal. At the time she was writing pop songs with songwriters in Nashville. Williams was introduced to Atlantic Records A&R Tom Storms through Richard Williams' attorneys Jim Zumwalt and Kent Marcus, and then signed to the label by Jason Flom. The label's original plan for their new artist was to make her a solo pop artist but Williams objected to this, saying that she wanted to be part of a band and play alternative rock music.
Atlantic decided to go along with her wishes, and she then formed Paramore with Josh Farro, Zac Farro, and Jeremy Davis. The music of Paramore was originally supposed to come out on Atlantic Records, but the label's marketing department decided it would be better for the image of the band to not have them attached to a huge label. They instead released their music through a "cooler" niche label, Fueled by Ramen. The debut album was released in 2005 when Hayley was only 16 years old.