Red Dwarf

Three million years ago, a radiation leak killed the crew of the mining ship, Red Dwarf. The only survivor was Dave Lister, the chicken soup machine repairman. He spends his time on the ship with a holographic projection of Arnold Rimmer (his dead bunkmate), Cat (a life-form that evolved from Dave's cat), Holly (the ship's senile computer), and Kryten (a service mechanoid).

Cast

• Chris Barrie
• Craig Charles
• Danny John-Jules
• Robert Llewellyn
• Hattie Hayridge
• Norman Lovett
• Chloë Annett
• Mac McDonald
• Elwin 'Chopper' David
• Graham McTavish
• John Lynch

• Season 1
• Episode 1: The End
  [first lines]::Lister: [singing loudly and out of tune during an inspection]::Rimmer: Lister, have y...
• Episode 2: Future Echoes
  Rimmer: Brace yourself for a bit of a shock, Lister, but I just saw you die.::Lister: What?::Rimmer:...
• Episode 3: Balance of Power
  Rimmer: Is that picture yours? It's rubbish.::Lister: It's a mirror....
• Episode 4: Waiting for God
  [last lines]::Rimmer: Incredible. A stupendous moment in my personal history. The perfectly preserve...
• Episode 5: Confidence & Paranoia
  Rimmer: Holly, put a trace on Paranoia.::Holly: What's a trace?::Rimmer: It's space jargon. It means...
• Episode 6: Me²
  Lister: It's not only one-way, Rimmer. You're hardly Mr. Nice Guy, Mr. Easy-To-Live-With.::Rimmer: W...
• Season 2
• Episode 1: Kryten
  Holly: Hope they've got some odds and sods on board, we're short of a few supplies.::Lister: [drinki...
• Episode 2: Better Than Life
  [Rimmer's father has died. The Cat attempts to console him]::The Cat: About your father. If it's any...
• Episode 3: Thanks for the Memory
  Rimmer: I'm disciplined, I'm organized, I'm dedicated to my career, I've always got a pen. Result? T...
• Episode 4: Stasis Leak
  Holly: I was in love once. A Sinclair ZX81. People said, no, Holly, she's not for you. She's cheap, ...
• Episode 5: Queeg
  Rimmer: Look, Lister, no point feeling sorry about Holly. It's a kindness. Like a blind old incontin...
• Episode 6: Parallel Universe
  Rimmer: You're disgusting! You're only after me for one thing!::Arlene Rimmer: Why? How many have yo...
• Season 3
• Episode 1: Backwards
  Rimmer: What jobs are there in a backwards reality for a dead hologram and an android with a head sh...
• Episode 2: Marooned
  Rimmer: I'll tell you something. Something I've never told anyone. When I was fifteen, I went to Mac...
• Episode 3: Polymorph
  Rimmer: What about the Rimmer Directive that states quite clearly, "Never tangle with anything that'...
• Episode 4: Body Swap
• Episode 4: Bodyswap
  Lister: Oh, smeg. What the smegging smeg's he smegging done? He's smegging killed me....
• Episode 5: Timeslides
  Rimmer: I'm going in. I'm going in to rescue him.::Holly: Rescue him?::Rimmer: It's my duty - my dut...
• Episode 6: The Last Day
  Kryten: Mum. I never had a mum.::The Cat: It's all right, buddy. It's all part of being drunk. You'v...
• Season 4
• Episode 1: Camille
  Kryten: Oh, spin my nipple nuts and send me to Alaska....
• Episode 2: D.N.A.
  Rimmer: Aliens. They're probably going to return Glenn Miller.::Lister: What?::Rimmer: That's what t...
• Episode 3: Justice
  Kryten: Who would you say, then, is the person who thinks of him most fondly?::Lister: [Thinks about...
• Episode 4: White Hole
  Rimmer: Well, if you ask me, the Eskimos had the right idea. They knew how to handle the elderly and...
• Episode 5: Dimension Jump
  Ace Rimmer: Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast....
• Episode 6: Meltdown
  [looking out a prison window, after being captured by Hitler]::Lister: Hang on, hang on, something's...
• Season 5
• Episode 1: Holoship
  Kryten: You must remember that he is operating on a completely different level to us now. To him, we...
• Episode 2: The Inquisitor
  Lister: Listen, Kryten, I've been thinkin' about this, I've come up with something.::Kryten: Yes, si...
• Episode 3: Terrorform
  Kryten: Sir, a couple of brief points: firstly, you're not a qualified service engineer, and, conseq...
• Episode 4: Quarantine
  Rimmer: They've been very bad, Mr. Flibble. What we going to do with them?::Rimmer: [Mr.Flibble whis...
• Episode 5: Demons and Angels
• Episode 5: Demons & Angels
  Holly: Rude alert! Rude alert! An electrical fire has knocked out my voice recognition unicycle! Man...
• Episode 6: Back to Reality
  Rimmer: I know that, emotionally speaking, this isn't the news you want to hear right now. But there...
• Season 6
• Episode 1: Psirens
  The Cat: That's it. We're deader than corduroy....
• Episode 2: Legion
  Rimmer: May I remind you of Space Corps Directive 34124?::Kryten: 34124? "No officer with false teet...
• Episode 3: Gunmen of the Apocalypse
  Kryten: I'm some kind of robot, who's fighting this virus, and none of this exists. It's all in a fe...
• Episode 4: Emohawk: Polymorph II
  Ace Rimmer: Davey-boy. We were all set to save your bacon. There's no need for you to throw your lov...
• Episode 5: Rimmerworld
  Rimmer: Enough of this heresy. At the stroke of dawn take them out and kill them. And when you've ki...
• Episode 6: Out of Time
  The Cat: [looks through "Futurescope"] Man, this is tragic. This is the saddest thing I've seen in m...
• Season 7
• Episode 1: Tikka to Ride
  [extended version]::The Cat: rrrrrrrRRRROWWWWR! I feel GREAT! Got all the beauty sleep I needed. Sta...
• Episode 2: Stoke Me a Clipper
  Kryten: Either we're under attack... or we're having a disco....
• Episode 3: Ouroboros
  [Lister's old girlfriend has turned up from a parallel dimension]::Kryten: [to Lister] We've lost si...
• Episode 4: Duct Soup
  Kochanski: How did I end up like this? On a ship where the fourth most popular pastime is going down...
• Episode 5: Blue
  Kochanski: Do you think I like living in this big skip with thrusters? And to top it all off, I am f...
• Episode 6: Beyond a Joke
  [Kryten has invaded Kochanski's "Pride and Prejudice" VR game with a tank]::Kryten: Perhaps I didn't...
• Episode 7: Epideme
  Epideme: [to Kryten] Give that guy an eyebrow! Hey, I'm feeling generous! Give him two!...
• Episode 8: Nanarchy
  Kochanski: Have you ever heard of something called "tough love"?::Kryten: Does it involve dressing u...
• Season 8
• Episode 1: Back in the Red: Part 1
  Kryten: I suggest we go from blue alert to red alert, sir.::The Cat: Forget the red. Let's go all th...
• Episode 2: Back in the Red: Part 2
  Kochanski: [after being affected by the sexual magnetism virus] I don't know what got into me.::List...
• Episode 3: Back in the Red: Part 3
  Rimmer: Thornton.::MP Thornton: No-one's allowed in there, Rimmer. Beat it.::Rimmer: Angus Thornton....
• Episode 4: Cassandra
  Kochanski: I'm not sure I can do this. This is the first time I've been seduced by pre-determinism t...
• Episode 5: Krytie TV
  Holly: Time is a great healer. Unless you've got a rash, then you're better off with some ointment....
• Episode 6: Pete: Part 1
  Lister: Who are you? What's your name?::Birdman: [holding his sparrow] They call me Birdman.::Lister...
• Episode 7: Pete: Part 2
  Kochanski: Kryten?::Kryten: Yes, ma'am?::Kochanski: How long in the normal space of things would it ...
• Episode 8: Only the Good...
  [last lines]::Grim Reaper: Arnold Judas Rimmer, your life is over. Come with me. You will travel to ...
• Season 9
• Episode 1: Back to Earth (Part One)
  Katerina: I bid greeting. My name is Katerina Bartikovsky. In past, I Red Dwarf's science officer. Z...
• Episode 2: Back to Earth (Part Two)
  Dave Lister: What are these things?::Kryten: They're Digital Versatile Discs, sir. DVDs for short. T...
• Episode 3: Back to Earth (Part Three)
  Kristine Kochanski: Where are you going?::Dave Lister: I have to leave, and get you back.::Kristine ...
• Season 10
• Episode 1: Trojan
  Rimmer: This is a corridor. Erm, windows, of course. We tend to use it very much as a... corridor....
• Episode 2: Fathers & Suns
  Whilst Lister writes himself a father's day card the others give Pree,the ship's computer,a glamorou...
• Episode 3: Lemons
  Whilst attempting to construct a Swedish flat-pack rejuvenation shower the crew accidentally transpo...
• Episode 4: Entangled
  This episode had to be written quickly because more expensive episodes were scrapped due to budget c...
• Episode 5: Dear Dave
  Lister finds himself in a bizarre love triangle with two talking vending machines - sweet-voiced cof...
• Episode 6: The Beginning
  'Richard O'Callaghan' (qv)'s character, Hoguey the Roguey, was originally to appear in the Red Dwarf...

• Lyrics: play full screen play karaoke
• Red Dwarf - TV Theme Songs

Its cold outside,
There's no kind of atmosphere,
I'm all alone,
More or less.
Let me fly,
Far away from here,
Fun, fun, fun,
In the sun, sun, sun.
I want to lie,
Shipwrecked and comotoase,
Drinking fresh,
Mango juice,
Goldfish shoals,
Nibbling at my toes,
Fun, fun, fun,
In the sun, sun, sun,
Fun, fun, fun,
In the sun, sun, sun.