Plot
Ryan, an average college student, is very unlucky with dating and relationships. On his first day of Chemistry 101, Ryan gets inspired by his professor's speech on the scientific method and decides to formulate an experiment to find his perfect girl in 2 weeks.
Keywords: chemistry, college, dating, experiment
Dating is all about chemistry.
Ryan: Do like girls that ask to many questions?... WHY?
Professor: Do any of you know the meaning of these words?
Ryan: A closed mouth smile is sexier than an open mouthed story.
Plot
Who is able to say whether you are 'Normal' or not?, who is right to make deaf ears to what you have to express in any way? who is able to shut you up?, who is able to force to talk the way they do, write the way they do or express yourself the way they do?, there is no right or wrong in the way you feel, except when that hurts someone else, if not, you are able to express how 'Normal' you are in your own way, at your own pace, at your own time, it is up to you. This is the stuff that a writer learns about life in 'Normal', just after traveling through Stockholm, Copenhagen, Moscow and Saint Petersburg.
Plot
The manager of England's national football unexpectedly succumbs to a heart attack, and suddenly the search is on for a replacement. Most people who seem qualified for the position have the good sense to turn it down, and so the responsibility falls to Mike Bassett, a scruffy and loud-mouthed lout whose claim to football fame is leading a previously undistinguished team to a league championship. Bassett insists that England will win the World Cup under his leadership, but that's before he replaces his star player with a once-gifted footballer who has since developed a drinking problem, and hired a one-time car salesman as his assistant. After stunning losses to Poland and Belgium, Bassett goes from a favorite of both fans and the press to one of the most hated men in England; hoping to whip his team into shape, he subjects them to the high-tech training methods of eccentric Dr. Shoegaarten, which injures more players than it helps. Despite Bassett's ineptitude, England manages to qualify for the World Cup tournament thanks to group opponents Turkey losing their final game, and he flies to Rio with his team in hopes of somehow turning their bad luck around.
Keywords: atomic-kitten, bus, cameo, character-name-in-title, drunkenness, england, gash-in-the-face, gross-out-joke, hooliganism, interview
He Knows F.A. About Football.
The ever changing face of football has a got new mug...
Mike: How am I supposed to know. Just do whatever you want.
Interviewer: Half time, and England trail Mexico by 2-0.::Mike: Have you heard what the crowd are fucking shouting? "Fuck Bassett!" "Bassett's a cunt!" "Bassett's a bastard!" "Bassett's a wanker!" They shouldn't be fucking shouting at me, they should be shouting at you, and do you know why? Because it's fucking half-time, and we're fucking 2-0 down to the fucking Mexicans! What the fuck's wrong with you? Get your fucking fingers out! Where's your bottle fucking gone? [hurls piece of equipment at the goalkeeper] And fucking pay attention you cunt, when I'm fucking talking to you! If you don't wanna wear the shirt, fucking take it off! There's thousands of kids out there who'd die to put that fucking shirt on. Get back on the fucking field, show those bastards what you can fucking do, or you can fuck off home on the fucking plane! You got that?::Interviewer: England lose 4-0.
Mike: [Harpsey's phone rings, Mike snatches it off him] Will you *fuck off*? [throws Harpsey's phone to the floor]
Mike: Ladies and gentlemen. England will be playing Four-Four-Fucking Two.
Karine Bassett: [to Camera] Last night Mike had a dream that Bobby Moore was chasing him round Wembley Stadium shouting "Look what you've done you bloody idiot"
Kevin Tonkinson: [having been arrested for drink-driving] It wasn't my fault, boss, I had to swerve to avoid the traffic!::Mike: Only because you were on the wrong side of the bloody road! How many milligrams did you have?::Kevin Tonkinson: 88.::Mike: 88 bloody milligrams! You go on the piss all day, you've ballooned out like the Pillsbury Doughboy! You've really let me down this time, Tonka, I'm telling you.::Kevin Tonkinson: I wrote an apology, boss!::Mike: Oh, fuck the apology! You could go to jail for this! What sort of system am I going to play then? Three across the middle and one in bloody Pentonville?
Kevin Tonkinson: [naked in the pool] Here, lads we've got a jacuzzi [farts, bubbling the water up; players laugh]::Kevin Tonkinson: And again [farts again]::Kevin Tonkinson: Oh bollocks, I've shit meself! [outraged, all the players walk out of the pool]
[last lines]::Interviewer: [after Mike and the team leave the plane] Are you going to stay on?::Mike: Four more years! [cheers from crowd]::Mike: I'm staying on!::Interviewer: [some time into the credits] Anyone else?::Pelé: Maybe Korea, Japan...::Interviewer: Japan? What about England?::Pelé: Not England though.::Interviewer: But they've qualified, Pelé!::Pelé: England? [laughs]
Jornal do Rio reporter: [in Portuguese] Do you like Mike Bassett?::Ronaldo: [in Portuguese] Who?
Interviewer: [in interviews with Pelé as he refuses to mention England] What about England?
Normal may refer to:
Here is my car, my phone and my TV
I've got it all but you can see through me
But am I here?
It's kind of hard to tell
I do a good impression of myself
But what's normal now anyhow?
Sullen and bored the kids stay
And in this way they wish away each day
Stoned in the mall the kids play
And in this way they wish away each day
Prescription drugs they help me through the day
And that restraining order keeps me well at bay
But what's normal now anyway?
Sullen and bored the kids stay
And in this way they wish away each day
Stoned in the mall the kids play
And in this way they wish away each day
Wish I was old and a little sentimental
hit the mall spend 30 like the sh-t normal
me and my broad nothing but gucci, louis, ferragamo
drop racks, get it back
call the sh-t karma
f-ckin models when i want
all your hoes normal
blowing kush
what your smokin smellin really normal
ask me if i wanna hit it
i don’t really waaaaanna
pulled up, old school, paint willy wooooonka
cuts all white, but the rims abnormal
backseat on my rolls in my silk pajamas
hoppin out in house shoes like the sh-t normal
change my jewelery every day cuz it the summer
if yo bitch want my number
chill, it’s really normal
abnormal, nothing that i do is normal
ice game dumb dumb, now it’s even dumber
you normal
i’m so cold i need a thermal
drumma boy track
drumma, this another comma
it’s my summer
she think her a-s is far from normal
it’s no wonder her boyfriend keep a stupid number
my summer, she think her a-s is far from normal
no wonder her boyfriend get that stupid llama
he pull up in a honda…
that’s normal
i pull up in a zonda
same color lasagna
my goons’ll put you under…
confront us
got guns like super contra…
stay armored
you bought your girl some *ahh ahh*…
don’t want ‘em
my girl got on piranhas
that’s abnormal
my bracelet cost a hunda
that’s abnormal
we’ll rob you where i come from…
that’s a promise
she’s a snake charmer…
anaconda
real man eat her
like jeffrey dahlmer
i can’t stand people mad cuz
their lives are normal
i got long money, bitch
put it on my momma
abnormal, nothing that i do is normal
ice game dumb dumb, now it’s even dumber
you normal
i’m so cold i need a thermal
drumma boy track
drumma, this another comma
it’s my summer
she think her a-s is far from normal
it’s no wonder her boyfriend keep a stupid number
my summer, she think her a-s is far from normal
no wonder her boyfriend get that stupid llama
bad bitches be stuntin me
they all wanna f-ck, they warnin me
so i told her to kiss her homegirl
she said “i don’t do that normally”
sh-t i don’t do sh-t the normal way
gotta f-ck with me the enormous way
back in the day, humongous yay
i don’t do that front sh-t normally
me and flocka rockin iced out ornaments
make a hit then start performin it
got a club funked out like parliament
brick squad we ain’t with all the normal sh-t
she a dime piece, but you a normal bitch
real ???? max girl can’t work the stick
won’t touch the girl, nor hit the girl
she’s just a normal a-s chick in a normal world
it’s gucci baby, you a gucci girl
get a one way ticket to gucci’s world
where night time it even gets warmer baby
don’t f-ck with him, he too normal baby
it’s gucci baby, you a gucci lady
pull my dick out make you say “gucci’s crazy”
night time it even gets warmer baby
Ich bin normal wie du und ich,
weiß, was ich tun darf und was nicht.
Ich mach alles, was man mir sagt.
Ich hab noch nie warum gefragt. (Ich bin normal!)
Ich führe alles pünktlich aus,
ich komme nie zu spät nach Haus.
Ich habe nie schlimme Gedanken,
ich weis mich selbst in meine Schranken.
Hab viel zu tun und nichts zu sagen,
ich hab's am Herz und hab's am Magen.
Ich hab zwei Kinder und 'ne Frau,
fahr nie bei rot, mach selten blau.
Ich bin normal,
frag mich nicht, wie.
Von Kopf bis Fuß
made in Germany.
Ich bin normal wie du und ich,
ich komm' in 'n Himmel oder nicht.
Ich hab nie allzuoft gelogen,
kaum einen über'n Tisch gezogen.
Ich nehm kein Rauschgift, geh nie fremd,
ich hab' immer 'n weißes Hemd.
Ich bin normal,
frag mich nicht, wie.
Von Kopf bis Fuß
made in Germany.
Ich hab immer 'n weißen Kragen,
ich stelle niemals falsche Fragen.
Ich bin ganz schlau, ich stell mich dumm,
mach gerne meinen Rücken krumm.
Ich gehe nicht mit jeder Mode,
ich mache alles mit Methode.
Ich bin normal,
frag mich nicht, wie.
Von Kopf bis Fuß
made in Germany.
Can you tackle me as I am
And the sting of my sweat against your mouth
You judge me till there's nothing left
You and your opinions wear me out
You don't know me
I'm immune I am free
Not a slave to your beliefs
I'm immune out of reach
You're alone stuck with your disease
You hate the things that I say and who I seem to be
But you don't look so normal to me
Serve you daily rituals
Then make up the rules to suit yourself
I'll never be who you are
So why don't I just start to hate myself
You don't know me
I'm immune I am free
Not a slave to your beliefs
I'm immune out of reach
You're alone stuck with your disease
You hate the things that I say and who I seem to be
But you don't look so normal to me
Normal
(Tell me what you think is)
Normal
(Is there more than one way to be)
Normal
(If I do what you say am I)
Normal
Well, I'm just a normal guy in a normal world
I live a normal life, I got a normal girl
I drive to normal places in my normal car
I even wish upon the normal stars
But people say it isn't normal if I want to pierce my nose
Or if I let a blind man design my clothes
Or if I pick the petals leave the thorns upon my rose
Or if I just want to paint my toes
People say it's not
Normal
(Tell me what you think is)
Normal
(Is there more than one way to be)
Normal
(I really think I'm okay and that's)
Normal
My momma say's it isn't normal if I wanna sleep all day
If I don't get a normal job, I'll throw my life away
She says I should go to school to get my B.A.
But me, I want to be a DJ
My friends say it isn't normal if I don't want to touch that stuff
But I don't need to follow no one, I'm already cool enough
You say I gotta be name brand, but I'm gonna call your bluff
And if you don't like it that's tough
People say it's not
Normal
(Tell me what you think is)
Normal
(Is there more than one way to be)
Normal
(I really think I'm okay and that's)
Normal
Once upon a time there was a man who had a wife
a couple kids, a cat, a dog
He thought he had a perfect life
That's not for me because I wanna be
I wanna be a painter and I want to be an actor
And a sculptor or a clown, maybe I wanna drive a tractor
Why can't you see, that's normal to me
To me, that's normal
Normal
Normal
Normal
Normal
So what, if I don't like the food you eat
So what, if you don't like to dance to my beat
So what, if you're expensive and you think I'm cheap
So what, does that make me incomplete?
So what, if I don't want to come my hair
So what, judging me, that's really unfair
So what, I only listen to the man up there
And I bet you he thinks I'm normal
I am my own man, so I do what I will
Every individual has their own skill
We all set goals that we want to fulfill
Whether a butcher, a baker, a computer maker
It's your life so do what you wanna do
You got one life to live, you don't have two
To yourself, to yourself, you gotta be true
And that's gonna make you normal
Don't wanna be
Normal
(Tell me what you think is)
Normal
(Is there more than one way to be)
Normal
(I really think I'm okay and that's)
Normal
Normal
(Don't want to do what you say)
Normal
(I want to do what I do)
Normal
(And that's normal)
Normal
Normal
(Don't have to do what you say)
Normal
(That's normal)
Normal
(Don't have to do what you say)
Normal
(I want to do what I do)
Normal
(Everybody's normal)
Normal
(I'm normal)
That's normal
I live in Normal
Normal, Illinois
It is the kind of place
The commies would destroy
We like it that way
We keep it that way
We bring our kids up right
They stay indoors at night
We let them watch TV
To teach them properly
I come from Normal
Normal, Illinois
I can't decide
If you are a woman or a boy
We like it that way
We keep it that way
We bring our kids up right
They stay indoors at night
We let them watch TV
To teach them properly
Nothing ever happens here in Normal
And suddenly its happening again
We bring our kids up right
They stay indoors at night
We let them watch TV
To teach them properly
Back home in Normal, Normal Illinois
We keep the streets clean
I guess I'm normal after all
I don't feel so crazy
Psychoanalysis after all of this
Fails to amaze me
I guess it's normal fallin' down
And the sound of it frames me
All my pedestals have nothing there to hold
Now they all blame me
All those nightmares
Don't seem strange
Truth is I've seen better days
Anyway
There's no reason or rhyme at all
And nothing can faze me
All the analysts cannot handle this
They can't even face me
All my feelings
Lost in words
The world is reeling from bad to worse
It could get worse
I guess I'm normal after all
Now that normal is crazy
On the wings of a snow white dove
La soledad es un paso firme
Que no he podido obligarme a dar
El corazón no tiene remedio
Con la vejéz deja de funcionar
Qué felicidad, hacerte la cena
Y qué seguridad saber que me esperas
Y el tiempo pasará
El sol se apagará
Y todo lo que sentiste fue normal...
Todo el amor es desasosiego
De lo que termina por desaparecer
Todo lo que me dijiste a medias
Son el lenguaje que no aprenderé
Qué felicidad llenarte la taza
Qué seguridad tenerte en la casa
Y el tiempo pasará, el sol se apagará
Y todo lo que sentiste fue normal
Qué felicidad hacerte la cena
Y qué seguridad saber que me esperas
Y qué tranquilidad el siempre felices
Y qué facilidad, creer lo que dices
Y el tiempo pasará, el sol se apagará
Normal the trouble, normal the fear
Normal the distress, normal the tears
Normal the yearning when you go away
Normal, you want them to stay
And these tears that run down your face
Hide them, it's a disgrace
Normal, your blunting of mind
Normal, your lust and normal, you're blind
And normal, you crave for what you can't have
Normal, you're feeling sad
And these tears that run down your face
Hide them, it's a disgrace
Normal, your decline and slide
Normal, your loss of pride
And normal, you want to scream
Normal, you're a machine
And these tears that run down your face
Hide them, it's a disgrace
A disgrace, a disgrace
Everyday I play the game
It keeps me somewhat sane
An attitude adjustment
A fliter for my fucking brain
I try my best to stay that way
But it's hard for long
Why must I comply
And change my life
To be so called right
What makes your way right
Normal people don't act that way
Who wants to be normal anyway?
Normal people don't act that way
Who wants to be normal anyway?
Everyday it's all the same
We buy and sell the pain
Societies addictions
Injected into every vein
I try my best to stay away
But it's hard for long
Why must I comply
And change my life
To be so called right
What makes your way right
Who wants to be normal anyway?
Who wants to be normal anyway?
We're all on display
Animals in a cage
We're all on display
Animals in a rage
We're all on display
Animals in a cage
We're all on display
Animals in a rage
Normal people don't act that way
Who wants to be normal anyway?
Normal people don't act that way
Who wants to be normal anyway?
Normal people don't act that way
Who wants to be normal anyway?
Normal people don't act that way
We took things as far as they needed to go. I'm not asking for any favors just know that I did my best even if it wasn't good enough. Nothing's ever good enough for you. So stand back and watch this fall apart. Everything's falling down. I'm taking deep breaths to slow the pace of my heart. Its beating fast to let me know that I'm still alive. So I didn't die without you and knowing that you're not here with me makes everything feel alright. So stand back and watch this fall apart. Everything's falling down. What did we really learn this time? Go running back to everything you thought of me before you saw me fall. I'm better off without you I think you knew this from the start. I think you knew this. What did we really learn this time? Go running back to everything you thought of me before you saw me fall. I'm better of without you I think you knew this from the start. I think you knew this…
Everybody does it, that's what everybody says
As they smoke their cigarettes on Friday night
And if you're still a virgin by the time that you're a junior
Then the rumor going 'round is you ain't right
Maybe I'm hard headed or a little bit old fashioned
But I always had a hard time fitting in
So when they rolled their eyes at me and told me I ain't normal
I always took it as a compliment
Where I'm from normal is high school girls having kids
Marrying the boys that you grew up with
They say girl get your head on straight
You sit around and dream all day
That far away look in your eye ain't normal
Somebody's got to wear the roller skates down at the Sonic
But it never really fit into my plans
So when I up and moved 1000 miles from Oklahoma
Nobody in that town could understand
Where I'm from normal is doing what your mama did
Marrying the boys that you grew up with
They say girl get your head on straight
You sit around and dream all day
That far away look in your eye ain't normal
(But) I say yeah, what's so great about normal
I don't know what happens but that's okay
You say you want me to feel your inside
I want to but not the way you think
Enjoying wet kinky things
My psyche begins to sink. wanting more and more exquisite tastes
Depravity for depravity sake. mind alive with thoughts of red
Tired of hiding and being fake
Urges become more intense
I need to get my release
Just one time will safice
Troolint for my next feast
Young fresh nebile sights
Filling my veins with pressure my
My mind fills with raging violence
My disease has no cure
Younger the better
Not stricken with filth
Supple creamy thighs
Not much longer on earth
Leave you won't fucking leave
I'll smash your fucking face in
You piece of shit
Your mommy can't help you now
Fuck I did it again
ha, na na
Baby yeah you know I understand
listen to me now gimme two moments if you can
I see you, trying your hardest not to fall
I need you, I promise I'll give you my all
Cause but it's normal
to fall in love and get afraid
and it's normal
to run out of the words to say
and it's normal
but with me promise you're okay
it's normal
don't get cold feet and walk away
cause i nee-eed you, I nee-eed you (x2)
Cause it's normal (x3)
Cause it's normal, normal, normal
Do me a favor this one time
Put your pride aside I know you're cool but it's not the time
I see you, free falling in my sky
I need you, right on the silver line
Cause but it's normal
to fall in love and get afraid
and it's normal
to run out of the words to say
and it's normal
to really wanna walk away
it's normal
boy just be with me won't you stay
cause i nee-eed you, I nee-eed you (x2)
Cause it's normal
to fall in love and get afraid
and it's normal
to run out of the words to say
and it's normal
but with me promise you're okay
Cause it's normal, normal, normal
Boa me na me mmoa wo
nea ope se obedi hene (x2)
cause i nee-eed you, I nee-eed you (x2)
Cause it's normal
Cause it's normal
Warm Leatherette
(repeat 3 times)
See the breaking glass
In the underpass
See the breaking glass
In the underpass
Warm Leatherette
(repeat 3 times)
Hear the crushing steel
Feel the steering wheel
Hear the crushing steel
Feel the steering wheel
Warm Leatherette
(repeat 3 times)
Break
Warm Leatherette
(repeat 3 times)
Warm leatherette melts
On your burning flesh
You can see your reflection
In the luminescent dash
Warm Leatherette
(repeat 3 times)
A tear of petrol is in your eye
The hand brake penetrates your thigh
Quick lets make love before you die
On Warm Leatherette
(repeat 6 times)
Join the car crash set
The winter, brought a sense of magic,This magic was only
temporary,
I lost you, then got you back only to lose you again,
And I won't lose this time, I have my anthem of
motivation,
All across the land, they will know my victory,
They will hear my proclomation
Now I see, this is where you lead,
back to normal,
what is normal?
My hidden sickness, that I hide in my chest,
Needs to be let loose,
Like a tiger breaking out of a cage,
Nothing left to lose,
Its picked its target, i cant choose,
It wants you, yeah it wants you
Now I know, this is where we go,
what is normal? where is normal? whats normal about this?
this anger in my heart, has turned to lust, and its
In the middle of this messy day
I always find a reason to treat myself this way
In a place where no one really understands
I'm a green space monster in a scary land
I just wanna be normal
And I just wanna be normal
And I don't wanna lie
Look me in the eyes
La la la la
Find my favorite jacket surround myself with me
You don't even notice I cry myself to sleep
Listen to my records it's all better now
Shiny fortress keeping all my demons out
I just wanna be normal
And I just wanna be normal
And I don't wanna lie
Look me in the eyes
La la la la
Bleed to be alive
Cross that thin red line
Don't call me freak
Don't call me
In the middle of this messy day
Another broken bottle another razor blade
Cut out all the pressure bleed my brain to sleep
I'm a ghosty vision pretty tragedy
I just wanna be normal
And I just wanna be normal
And I just wanna be normal
I just wanna be normal
I just wanna be normal
I don't wanna lie
Look me in the eyes
I just got new medication
After years of hibernation
I can walk outside for the first time
And let the sunshine touch my head
I never went an hour without
Mutilating from the inside out
But now everything's fine for the first time
I'm feeling like I'm born again
Uh-huh
I try, but can't explain it
I said too much
And I feel so liberated
Feels like love
It's so nice to be normal
To be normal for a change
I used to scare up at the sky
And watch the little worm in my eye
But now all I wanna do is look at you
And fill your darkest room with light
Uh-huh
And I try, but can't explain it
I said too much
And I feel so liberated
Feels like love
It's so nice to be normal
To be normal for a change
Yeah it's so nice to be normal
But it still feels kinda strange
The noise has left my head
The voice inside is dead
Now I don't hear a sound
I never knew silence could be so loud
And I try, but can't explain it
I said too much
Yeah I feel so liberated
Feels like love
It's so nice to be normal
To be normal for a change
Yeah, it's so nice to be normal
To be normal for a change
Oh it's so nice to be normal
To be normal
Oh it's so nice to be normal
To be normal
It's so nice to be normal