Tiberius

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'Tiberius' is featured as a movie character in the following productions:

Tysis (2013)

Actors

Plot
Special Forces Sergent John Anderton attempts to live a normal life after multiple years in combat. Little does he know that his past would not be forgotten by a legendary adversary he failed to assassinate years ago. John must now battle a god-like enemy to protect the things he holds dear.

Genres

Dark Horizon (2009)

Actors

Plot
Sixty years from now there are no governments. There is no leadership. No air transportation. There is only hope for survival in the uninhabited parts of the world. Warfare has ravaged the planet, and only a select handful of people survive. In the far reaches of the South Pacific lies a stretch of islands called the Dark Horizon, a former military base and now hideaway for a band of cutthroat pirates; pillagers of passing transports carrying survivors from combat. Gabriel Hawkins (Matthew Charles Hall), a legendary captain of the sailing vessel Invictus, leaves behind his life of piracy in exchange for an occupation as a transport for hire. His famed sailing ship and it's small crew, made up of aspiring treasure hunter Jonathan Davies (Kyle Cahill) and former air force pilot "Slider" Finch (Christina Reyes), carry two passengers who are looking for transport towards the former Hawaiian islands. Violating a trade agreement with the South Sea League of Pirates, Gabriel and his team head west into treacherous waters to take two fellow former Americans to shelter, one of them being Rebecca (Crystal Cooper), beautiful young woman in search of her family. As the adventure unfolds, these heroes are pursued by a band of cutthroat pirates along with the hazardous conditions of the sea and must return to the waters of the Dark Horizon in order to survive.

Genres

Adventure

Taglines:

Prepare the sails... Prepare your soul.

Sacred Bloods (2009)

Actors

Genres

Horror

Roma Sub Rosa: The Secret Under the Rose (2006)

Actors

Plot
The Senate desperate to put an end to the chaos that Hannibal is causing on the Roman Peninsula, has sent out a rag tag army of new recruits and the shattered remnants of the disaster of Cannae. The newly formed Meridian armies are to engage Hannibal at all costs. The battle hardened Veterans of Cannae, led by Lt. General Cornelius Scipio, begin to assassinate the politicians who glorify the causes of war, and slowly through negotiation, barter, blackmail and murder seize control of the Meridian Army for themselves. The allegiances of these great families will put an end to the squabbling politicians and forge an empire the world will not soon forget.

Keywords: assassination, cosa-nostra, hannibal, mafia, military-history, roman-empire, rome-italy, scipio-africanus

Genres

Drama
Short

Taglines:

The Birth of Ma'Fia, The Death of Politicians and The Dawn of an Empire: La Cosa Nostra

Imperium: Augustus (2003)

Actors

Plot
In 42 BC Rome is in the middle of a civil war. Together with his friend AGRIPPA, the young Augustus goes to Spain in order to help JULIUS CAESAR in his struggle against the troops of POMPEY. Even though they are outnumbered, they manage to defeat Pompey. Caesar honours his adopted son Augustus with a triumphal entry into Rome and then sends him to Greece together with his friends Agrippa and Maecenas. There, Augustus hears the news of Caesar's assassination and he returns to Rome with his friends. Back in Rome, he is able to gain both the support of the people and political power. In his struggle with the conspirators against Caesar he finds an ally in MARC ANTONY. Marc Antony not only pursues BRUTUS and CASSIUS, he also initiates a wave of executions which practically eliminates the old Roman ruling class. Among those who are killed is the husband of LIVIA DRUSILLA, a woman with whom Augustus had been in love as a young man. Through a combination of good luck and chance, Augustus and Marc Antony are able to defeat the forces of Brutus and Cassius at the battle of Phillipi. But now Augustus has to share his empire with Marc Antony who, in the meantime, has become the lover of the Egyptian queen CLEOPATRA. Augustus declares war on both of them and after a successful military campaign he becomes the sole ruler of the Roman Empire. During his rule, Rome not only experiences a period of peace and prosperity, it is also an age in which both art and culture flourish. His new wife Livia Drusilla becomes his most important political advisor. It is she who discovers that IULLUS (the son of Marc Antony and lover of Augustus' daughter JULIA) is plotting to murder the emperor.

Keywords: 1st-century-b.c., 45-b.c., adopted-son, adultery, alexandria-egypt, ancient-rome, anno-domini, apollonia-greece, applause, aqueduct

Genres

Taglines:

History will bear the mark of his rule.
He inherited the Roman Empire. He decided the fate of the world.
As the empire kneeled in defeat, one man stood in triumph.

Quotes:

Augustus: Did I play my role well, in the comdey of life?::Julia: The gods will tell you father.::Augustus: Applause, please.

Cleopatra: [about Octavius] Why don't we silence that boy by placing his head on a stick?

Scipio: Julia? "Submissive"? Ha! [Notices Iullus' face] What's the matter?::Iullus: I love her.

Tiberius: I'll find Iullus and kill him!::Julia: No, you won't. You'll go back to the boarder and continue playing "soldier" or I'll have father throw you in prison as a deserter.

Iullus: I will have revenge for my father's death, and Julia will be my sword.

Scipio: [Upon seeing Julia] Hail to our queen!

Tiberius: My duty is to maintain authority over Rome's legions; you undermine that with your adultery which you don't even attempt to conceal. I can not live with that!::Julia: Then do us both a favour and fall on your sword!

Julia: You already have what you wanted of me, father. Heirs. My sons. Now let me live my life!

Atia: Whose glory is Octavia's marriage?::Octavius: For Rome.::Atia: Rome, who is he? I don't know him. Does he have a sister too?

[after telling Scipio about Tiberius raping Julia]::Iullus: She blames her father, even said she wants him dead... But I don't believe her, she'd never hurt him.::Scipio: She doesn't have to.::Iullus: I love her!::Scipio: Stop telling me that!::Iullus: It's true!::Scipio: Really?::Iullus: Yes!::Scipio: Then if you truly love her, you'll do it. Augustus will not yield.::Iullus: But surely...::Scipio: Your noblity won't protect you, you're father made that mistake. There is only one way - he must die.::Iullus: I would lose her, she would never forgive me...::Scipio: You'd be saving her. Do you really think Livia is ever going to let Julia's children rule over the empire when Augustus dies? The children will be killed too, you know it's evitable. And when she realizes that, she will thank you.::Iullus: We failed once.::Scipio: We were stupid, out in the open with the mob, the guards and Julia to stop us... Will she let you into her house?::Iullus: [nods] Tonight.::Scipio: Then the gods have handed us the sword.

Free Enterprise (1998)

Actors

Plot
Young filmmakers (Rafer Weigel, Eric McCormack) trying to hawk a movie titled "Bradykillers" about a serial killer who goes after victims Marcia, Jan, and Cindy meet their screen idol, William Shatner. Shatner, appearing as himself, has fun poking fun at his own image. The two young men, who idolize him and in their fantasies have seen him as a shadowy fairy godfather figure, are alarmed at the reality of the middle-aged non-Captain Kirk man that they meet. However, their relationship helps anchor the two more into reality.

Keywords: 30th-birthday, actor-playing-himself, answering-machine, based-on-true-story, birthday-party, breasts, comic-book, comic-book-shop, dating, female-nudity

Genres

Taglines:

The Shat hits the fan
Only one man in the Universe can get them on the right Trek...
Love long and Party.

Quotes:

Young Mark: So you're saying I should engage my advanced-for-a-twelve-year-old intellect and use logic?::Imaginary William Shatner: Logic is the other guy's schtick, but yes.

Imaginary William Shatner: I'm not really here. I'm one of the top ten imaginary friends kids have. Just behind John Travolta, Reggie Jackson, and Farrah Fawcett-Majors.

Mark's Mom: Mark, Mark, what are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to go to that movie - that "Star Track" movie.::Young Mark: Oh, Mom, how many times do I have to tell you? "Track" is what a train goes on, okay? "Trek" is what the Enterprise goes on, okay?::Mark's Mom: Yeah, and they say the pain of childbirth ends with labor.

[Young Robert was in a fight with a larger kid while wearing a gold Starfleet uniform, when William Shatner appears to him]::Imaginary William Shatner: I think I ought to tell you that that, uh, Aryan youth is gonna kick you into oblivion.::Young Robert: But what about in "Arena" when Kirk fought the Gorn? That giant lizard monster was three times as big as him!::Imaginary William Shatner: My boy, that was a TV show. I used a stunt double. I always use a stunt double. Except in love scenes. I insist on doing those myself.::Young Robert: Well, what would you do to avoid a fight?::Imaginary William Shatner: I wouldn't dress like a geek. Gold is not your color. Think earth tones.

[Shatner just asked Robert why he started the fight]::Young Robert: Well... it was something he said.::Imaginary William Shatner: What'd he say?::Young Robert: You really don't want to know.::Imaginary William Shatner: I really do want to know!::Young Robert: He said that Han Solo was cooler than Captain Kirk.::[pause]::Imaginary William Shatner: Kick the little fucker's ass.

Claire: Where are you going?::Robert: Looks like I'm going nowhere.::Claire: Don't you fucking quote Star Wars at me!

Mark: Do you wish Rhett never loved Scarlett? Rick didn't have Ilsa or Harry never loved Sally? Someone once said it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Succeed or fail, we must make the attempt, it's our nature. Now if it were up to me, as it usually is, I would order this. But its not. Because Claire is right in pointing out the enormous danger potential in any relationship with a man as intelligent but fantastically flakey as Robert. But I must point out the possibilities, the potential, for true love and happiness are equally great. Risk... risk is our business. That's what relationships are all about. That's why we're out there.

Eric: Robert. Dude. Great party but... where are all your friends of color?

Tricia: Robert!::Robert: Hello, Tricia.::Tricia: Brian, this is Robert.::Brian: Oh right. The Trekkie, right?::Robert: Fuck you both.

Claire: When are you going to start living in the present instead of the 24th century?::Robert: I would never live in the 24th century! I fucking HATE "The Next Generation". Only classic!

Columna (1968)

Actors

Genres

Rome - The Rise and Fall of an Empire - Part IV - Tiberius Gracchus (1/2)

Duration: 40:07
Updated: 05 Sep 2014

Rome's original, largely democratic, Republic was torn in half by what we would today call wealth inequality. The parallels to the contemporary United States...

http://wn.com/Rome_-_The_Rise_and_Fall_of_an_Empire_-_Part_IV_-_Tiberius_Gracchus_(1_2)

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Rome - The Rise and Fall of an Empire - Part IV - Tiberius Gracchus (2/2)

Duration: 19:06
Updated: 19 Aug 2014

In the conclusion to Tiberius Gracchus' story, he is successful in passing his land reform but a sinister plot to stop him is hatched. Tiberius meanwhile aba...

http://wn.com/Rome_-_The_Rise_and_Fall_of_an_Empire_-_Part_IV_-_Tiberius_Gracchus_(2_2)

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Dokumentation: Rom - Kampf des Tiberius

Duration: 43:17
Updated: 04 Aug 2014

http://wn.com/Dokumentation_Rom_-_Kampf_des_Tiberius

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Tiberius Arms T15 Review By Hustle Paintball

Duration: 13:17
Updated: 16 Sep 2014

Tiberius T15 - http://www.hustlepaintball.com/Tiberius-Arms-T15-Paintball-Marker More Mags - http://www.hustlepaintball.com/Tiberius-Arms-T15-Paintball-Marker-Magazine-20-Round-2-Pack Come and see why the T15 makes Dan mostly happy and a little sad. Music provided by Zircon Songs(in no particular order) - Darkness Beckons, Morsecode, Operative Pressure, Scars of the Past, Photosynthesis, Depth Charge http://zirconstudios.bandcamp.com/ @zirconST http://facebook.com/zirconmusic Email videos@hustlepaintball.com or call 303-800-4194 with questions, comments, and other video suggestions, and remember you can find all of the paintball product you need at http://www.hustlepaintball.com.

http://wn.com/Tiberius_Arms_T15_Review_By_Hustle_Paintball

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The Caesars 3/6: Tiberius

Duration: 55:04
Updated: 18 Aug 2014

Original airdate: Sunday 6 October, 1968.

http://wn.com/The_Caesars_3_6_Tiberius

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Spartacus 03x09 - Death of Tiberius Extended Scene - 1080p Full HD Quality

Duration: 2:10
Updated: 13 Aug 2013

http://wn.com/Spartacus_03x09_-_Death_of_Tiberius_Extended_Scene_-_1080p_Full_HD_Quality

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Tiberius, Caligula, Claudius - Tyrants of Rome

Duration: 7:13
Updated: 25 Aug 2014

Tiberius 14-37 AD/ Caligula 37-41 AD / Claudius 41-54 AD Find us on Roku! http://thestoryofliberty.intuitwebsites.com/Roku-channel.html Facebook: https://www...

http://wn.com/Tiberius,_Caligula,_Claudius_-_Tyrants_of_Rome

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Tiberius T9.1 & First Strike Field Test (Part 1 of 2)

Duration: 10:31
Updated: 29 Aug 2014

Watch Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5hj5ch65jY SUBSCRIBE!! Aj and Aaron from Modern Intel try out the brand new Tiberius Arms T9.1 rifle with first...

http://wn.com/Tiberius_T9.1_&_First_Strike_Field_Test_(Part_1_of_2)

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Rockschool Grade 5(2012) - Tiberius

Duration: 2:20
Updated: 30 Aug 2014

Rockschool Grade 5(2012) - Tiberius performed by Worapat La-ong (Tar) Equipment List - '89 Gibson Les Paul Custom - Schecter Damien Elite 8 - Yamaha Pacifica...

http://wn.com/Rockschool_Grade_5(2012)_-_Tiberius

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Tiberius Arms T15 Paintball Gun - Product Walk Through

Duration: 9:19
Updated: 30 Aug 2014

To get one of these new Tiberius Arms T15 Paintball Guns visit: http://www.ansgear.com/Tiberius_Arms_T15_Paintball_Gun_Black_p/tiberiusarms15black.htm For mo...

http://wn.com/Tiberius_Arms_T15_Paintball_Gun_-_Product_Walk_Through

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Tiberius T4 & First Strike Field Test

Duration: 5:59
Updated: 02 Sep 2014

SUBSCRIBE!! Aaron, Aj and special guest Julian from Modern Intel try out the Tiberius Arms T4 sniper rifle out on the field with a more in-depth video with F...

http://wn.com/Tiberius_T4_&_First_Strike_Field_Test

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Tiberius & Kore - Spartacus

Duration: 3:25
Updated: 27 Aug 2014

I don't own anything. Please watch in HD! These are my two favorite characters this season. I adored their friendship until, well, it got completely ruined. ...

http://wn.com/Tiberius_&_Kore_-_Spartacus

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RapidShotz - Tiberius Arms T15

Duration: 6:45
Updated: 28 Sep 2014

With performance that does put this offering behind it's peers, the T15 still manages to be a bona fide offering but is heartily awaiting an FSR-friendly barrel upgrade. Tiberius Arms Resilience! --- Avec des performances qui ne met cette offre derrière ses pairs, le T15 est encore une bonne offre de foi mais de bon cœur en attente d'une mise à niveau du baril FSR. Tiberius Arms résilience! SPECIFICATIONS & VALUES (**with Guerrilla Air 13/3000 HPA Tank) ----------------------------------- BARREL ID/LENGTH + muzzle 0.690/32.4cm + 6.4cm (12.8in + 2.5in) MASS,marker (kg) 2.49kg (5.49lb)** MASS,magazines (20rds) (g) 182g (6.4oz) BALANCE (approx. from rear) 33.5cm (13.2in)** DIMENSIONS (cm, L x H x W) 76.9 x 17.7 x 3.7cm** VELOCITY (fps) +300 +/- 3fps PRICE (CDN) – at time of publication $580.00 UPGRADE RECOMMENDATIONS MILSIG Tank Turret MB, UTG 3.8” Circle Dot QD Sight, UTG Full-Size Riser Mount, UTG Covert Combat QD Foregrip, StormWerxz Magpul HPA CTR Stock, MILSIG Gen2 Rail Covers, Magpul MOE Trigger Guard ----------------------------------- Tiberius Arms - http://www.tiberiusarms.com Magnum Boots - http://us.magnumboots.com MILISG Direct Canada - http://www.milsigdirect.ca StormWerxz - https://www.facebook.com/stormwerxstocks Magpul - http://www.magpul.com Defcon Paintball - http://www.defconpaintball.com Ripple Industries - http://www.rippleind.ca

http://wn.com/RapidShotz_-_Tiberius_Arms_T15

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Dr Harry Sidebottom on Emperor Tiberius

Duration: 2:29
Updated: 04 Jun 2013

Dr. Harry Sidebottom, author of the bestselling Warrior Of Rome series, talks about the Roman Emperor Tiberius in the first in a mini series of lectures. The...

http://wn.com/Dr_Harry_Sidebottom_on_Emperor_Tiberius

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Spartacus Captures Tiberius Full Scene - Spartacus 03x09 - Full HD

Duration: 1:59
Updated: 20 Aug 2014

http://wn.com/Spartacus_Captures_Tiberius_Full_Scene_-_Spartacus_03x09_-_Full_HD

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Tiberius T9 Review

Duration: 10:59
Updated: 20 Aug 2014

Overview of the Tiberius T9 paintball Marker. Review covers barrel testing, mods, and base explanation of the marker.

http://wn.com/Tiberius_T9_Review

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Tiberius T9.1 Review

Duration: 10:28
Updated: 24 Aug 2014

SUBSCRIBE!! Aaron & Aj from Modern Intel review the Tiberius T9.1 rifle. Get all the fact about this brand new marker along with the pros and cons! http://ww...

http://wn.com/Tiberius_T9.1_Review

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Field Test: Tiberius 8.1 and First Strike

Duration: 7:25
Updated: 14 Aug 2013

Aj and Aaron from Modern Intel try out the Tiberius 8.1 with First Strike rounds and compare them against regular paintballs.

http://wn.com/Field_Test_Tiberius_8.1_and_First_Strike

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M.A.G.MAG #5, NEW Tiberius T15

Duration: 7:36
Updated: 05 Aug 2014

This video is about M.A.G.MAG5, New Tiberius T15.

http://wn.com/M.A.G.MAG_5,_NEW_Tiberius_T15

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Official Badlands Paintball Tiberius Arms T8.1 Socom Unboxing

Duration: 7:50
Updated: 04 Sep 2014

Mike unboxes the Tiberius Arms T8.1 paintball gun at Badlands Headquarters! This pistol packs quite a punch and is First Strike ready! Whether you are fighti...

http://wn.com/Official_Badlands_Paintball_Tiberius_Arms_T8.1_Socom_Unboxing

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Paintball Marker: Tiberius T8.1 Review & Test Fire

Duration: 6:00
Updated: 05 Sep 2014

Quick review of my Tiberius T8.1 marker, along with a quick firing test. Any questions? Ask em below, I should respond, or a fellow youtuber will. -Firing fr...

http://wn.com/Paintball_Marker_Tiberius_T8.1_Review_&_Test_Fire

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Tiberius Arms 8.1 and Tippman TPX thoughts, comparisons, opinions, demo

Duration: 19:29
Updated: 25 Aug 2014

Hi Folks...so I've been wanting to post something for these for a while as I feel that while there are a LOT of videos showing how to take them apart, servic...

http://wn.com/Tiberius_Arms_8.1_and_Tippman_TPX_thoughts,_comparisons,_opinions,_demo

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Official Badlands Paintball - Tippmann TiPX vs Tiberius T8.1

Duration: 16:57
Updated: 31 Aug 2014

Mike from Badlands compares two heavy hitting paintball pistols, the Tippmann TiPX and Tiberius Arms T8.1. Watch this video and let Mike help you decide whic...

http://wn.com/Official_Badlands_Paintball_-_Tippmann_TiPX_vs_Tiberius_T8.1

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Fulda Gap: Tiberius Arms Interview

Duration: 6:20
Updated: 14 Jan 2014

Featuring Tiberius Arms new markers, the Tiberius 8.1 and the T4. See more at http://www.tiberiusarms.com.

http://wn.com/Fulda_Gap_Tiberius_Arms_Interview

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Christian Antidormi Spartacus Interview Tiberius

Duration: 23:22
Updated: 30 Apr 2014

Full text: http://metalarcade.net/2013/04/interview-with-christian-antidormi-of-spartacus/ For an inside look at what's to come in the final episodes of Spar...

http://wn.com/Christian_Antidormi_Spartacus_Interview_Tiberius

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Tiberius Show & Aftershow Party. Interview with Marcos Valenzuela

Duration: 1:35
Updated: 18 Oct 2012

Tiberius Evolution, Show und Aftershow party bei der Vienna Fashion Week 12, Interview und Aftershow Party in LE MERIDIEN Wien Danke an oe24.at.

http://wn.com/Tiberius_Show_&_Aftershow_Party._Interview_with_Marcos_Valenzuela

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Christian Antidormi ("Tiberius") on Spartacus Season 3 (Starz)

Duration: 1:29
Updated: 24 Jul 2014

Spartacus Season 3 Interview of Christian Antidormi who plays Tiberius in Spartacus War Of The Damned, the upcoming third and final season of the Starz orgin...

http://wn.com/Christian_Antidormi_("Tiberius")_on_Spartacus_Season_3_(Starz)

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Interview mit Tiberius Donea beim Heimattag der Siebenbürger Sachsen in Dinkelsbühl 2009

Duration: 2:29
Updated: 15 Jun 2014

http://www.siebenbuerger.de - Interview mit Tiberius Donea, zuständig für die Festzeltsicherheit und Logistik - Heimattag der Siebenbürger Sachsen in Dinkels...

http://wn.com/Interview_mit_Tiberius_Donea_beim_Heimattag_der_Siebenbürger_Sachsen_in_Dinkelsbühl_2009

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Tiberius Brastaviceanu interviewed by Layne Hartsell 1/3

Duration: 14:39
Updated: 04 Dec 2013

Sensorica: A P2P Model for High Tech Collaboration Tiberius Brastaviceanu (Canada) is a researcher with a background in physics, nuclear medicine and radiolo...

http://wn.com/Tiberius_Brastaviceanu_interviewed_by_Layne_Hartsell_1_3

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Tiberius Brastaviceanu interviewed by Layne Hartsell 2/3

Duration: 13:35
Updated: 28 Nov 2013

Sensorica: A P2P Model for High Tech Collaboration Tiberius Brastaviceanu (CA) is a researcher with a background in physics, nuclear medicine and radiology, ...

http://wn.com/Tiberius_Brastaviceanu_interviewed_by_Layne_Hartsell_2_3

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'Spartacus' Talking Tiberius With Christian Antidormi In 'Mors Indecepta' Recap

Duration: 3:05
Updated: 28 May 2014

The Huffington Post Interview with Christian Antidormi http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/15/spartacus-tiberius-christian-antidormi_n_2886394.html.

http://wn.com/'Spartacus'_Talking_Tiberius_With_Christian_Antidormi_In_'Mors_Indecepta'_Recap

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Tiberius Fashion Show MQ FashionWeek Vienna 2011 :: LIFESTYLE TV

Duration: 5:22
Updated: 04 Aug 2014

Tiberius Fashion Show @ MQ Fashion Week Vienna 2011. Interview mit dem beeindruckenden Designer Marcos Valenzuela.

http://wn.com/Tiberius_Fashion_Show_MQ_FashionWeek_Vienna_2011_LIFESTYLE_TV

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Römisches Reich - Kampf des Tiberius (NEWDokus 2013)

Duration: 43:17
Updated: 21 Aug 2014

www.youtube.com/NEWDokus :: ist das größte Deutsche Doku-Archiv auf YouTube. Regelmäßige Updates versorgen Dich immer mit den angesagtesten Dokumentatione...

http://wn.com/Römisches_Reich_-_Kampf_des_Tiberius_(NEWDokus_2013)

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Interview with Christian Antidormi @CAntidormi of Spartacus War of The Damned

Duration: 2:25
Updated: 24 Aug 2014

Front Row Features Wire | Pacific Rim Video Syndicate correspondent Chris Trondsen interviews Christian Antidormi (Tiberius Crassus) during the LA Premiere s...

http://wn.com/Interview_with_Christian_Antidormi_@CAntidormi_of_Spartacus_War_of_The_Damned

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Phone interview - Aung Sung Suu Kyi

Duration: 6:16
Updated: 11 Jun 2013

The following short film has been created around a phone interview with Aung Sung Suu Kyi by Anil Stephen of Christian Solidarity Worldwide on January 10th, ...

http://wn.com/Phone_interview_-_Aung_Sung_Suu_Kyi

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TiberiusB Interview

Duration: 24:48
Updated: 13 Apr 2014

A discussion of scalable peer economics, from the standpoint of a practiced innovator. Tiberius Brastaviceanu (Tibi) is co-founder of sensorica.co Open Value...

http://wn.com/TiberiusB_Interview

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RapidShotz HotShotz - Tiberius Arms T15

Duration: 1:37
Updated: 21 Sep 2014

The new Tiberius Arms T15 features a quick AR-style tear down, a completely new magazine system, and full marker case. Shot at Ripple Industries Inc. ----------------------------------- Tiberius Arms - http://www.tiberiusarms.com/ Magnum Boots - http://us.magnumboots.com Magpul - http://www.magpul.com/ Defcon Paintball - http://www.defconpaintball.com/ Ripple Industries - http://www.rippleind.ca

http://wn.com/RapidShotz_HotShotz_-_Tiberius_Arms_T15

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Tiberius Rapes Julius Caesar - Spartacus 3x08 - Full HD 60Fps

Duration: 0:31
Updated: 05 Sep 2014

Episode 8 from Spartacus: War of the Damned. Tiberius, in an act of madness, rapes Caesar to be sure he doesn't speak with his father, Marcus Crassus, of his...

http://wn.com/Tiberius_Rapes_Julius_Caesar_-_Spartacus_3x08_-_Full_HD_60Fps

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Ex Deo "The Tiberius Cliff ( Exile To Capri )"

Duration: 5:41
Updated: 24 May 2013

EX DEO returns showcasing their unrelenting live raw power and epic stage presence , the Roman Gods are back and ready to conquer with THE TIBERIUS CLIFF !! ...

http://wn.com/Ex_Deo_"The_Tiberius_Cliff_(_Exile_To_Capri_)"

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Tiberius T4 Review

Duration: 9:52
Updated: 04 Jul 2013

SUBSCRIBE!! Aj and special guest Julian from Modern Intel review the Tiberius Arms T4 sniper rifle. Get all the specs on this marker!

http://wn.com/Tiberius_T4_Review

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Tiberius 8.1

Duration: 6:45
Updated: 18 Feb 2013

Tiberius 8.1 in action taking out the competition. Added a Flasc barrel kit and a Apex2. Super accurate....

http://wn.com/Tiberius_8.1

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Tiberius Gracchus und seine Reformen

Duration: 10:55
Updated: 05 Sep 2014

http://wn.com/Tiberius_Gracchus_und_seine_Reformen

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Tiberius and Caesar make sweet love.

Duration: 1:04
Updated: 18 Jul 2013

True love.

http://wn.com/Tiberius_and_Caesar_make_sweet_love.

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Rom - Kampf des Tiberius 1/5

Duration: 10:53
Updated: 10 Jun 2014

Es ist die letzte Schlacht des Dritten Punischen Krieges. Im Jahr 146 vor Christus setzen die Römer zum Sturm auf die Hauptstadt ihres alten nord- afrikanisc...

http://wn.com/Rom_-_Kampf_des_Tiberius_1_5

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Tiberius [Spartacus WOTD] || Paranoid

Duration: 1:43
Updated: 27 May 2014

I can't stop what I'm hearing within It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin...« Watch in HD! [1080] WARNING! Contains scenes of violence and...

http://wn.com/Tiberius_Spartacus_WOTD_||_Paranoid

Play Fullscreen

photo: AP / Pablo Martinez Monsivais

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Report: The US Employed 'At Least 1,000' Nazis After World War II

Business Insider

27 Oct 2014

AFP. See Also. At least 1,000 former Nazis were recruited by the C.I.A. and F.B.I. to spy on behalf of the United States during the Cold War, The New York Times reported Monday. The article comes ahead of the release of a book written by one of the Times' own reporters, Eric Lichtblau, entitled “The Nazis Next Door. How America Became a Safe Haven for Hitler’s Men” ... Edgar Hoover at the F.B.I. and Allen Dulles at the C.I.A. In 1968, Mr ... email ... ....(size: 8.2Kb)

« back to news headlines

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George RR Martin: 'Drogon could never beat Smaug in a fight'

The Guardian

27 Oct 2014

The Games of Thrones author gave an exuberant talk in New York about The World of Ice and Fire – including whether his dragon could beat Tolkien’s. Blending fantasy and banality ... He clearly loves each digression and careful bit of the telling; every chance he had to tell a history – of Zoroastrianism and the Grateful Dead, of Suetonius of Rome and Tiberius of the BBC, of a Belfast set and 1990s fan conventions – he took with relish ... ....(size: 8.3Kb)

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George RR Martin full of zing and zest as he maps out his fictional world

The Guardian

27 Oct 2014

The Games of Thrones author gave an exuberant talk in New York about The World of Ice and Fire – including whether his dragon would beat Tolkien’s Smaug in a fight ... Photograph ... He clearly loves each digression and careful bit of the telling; every chance he had to tell a history – of Zoroastrianism and the Grateful Dead, of Suetonius of Rome and Tiberius of the BBC, of a Belfast set and 1990s fan conventions – he took with relish ... ....(size: 8.3Kb)

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Itzik Harani a fantastic guide on once-in-a-lifetime tour of Israel

The Los Angeles Times

25 Oct 2014

... in Israel such as Tel Aviv, new and old Jerusalem, Masada, Golan Heights, Tiberius, the Sea of Galilee, the Dead Sea, Akko, etc....(size: 0.7Kb)

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Smashing Pumpkins announce tracklist for Monuments to an Elegy

Digital Spy

21 Oct 2014

The Smashing Pumpkins have announced the tracklist for their new album Monuments to an Elegy. Monuments to an Elegy forms the latest part of The Smashing Pumpkins' ongoing project Teargarden by Kaleidyscope ... 1. Tiberius. 2....(size: 1.1Kb)

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Well may we say, ‘God save the Queen’: the wit and wisdom of Gough Whitlam

The Australian

21 Oct 2014

QUOTES from Gough Whitlam. Delivering a 1966 off-the-cuff appraisal of the Labor Party’s federal executive and handing journalist Don Whitington a title for a book.. “I can only say we’ve got rid of the 16 Faceless Men stigma to be faced with the 12 Witless Men.” ... It is this ... There he sat, on the Isle of Capri at Surfers Paradise, plotting his destruction — Tiberius with a telephone.” ... Whitlam replied ... ....(size: 4.9Kb)

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Time enhanced Gough Whitlam’s image, says Ian Sinclair

The Australian

21 Oct 2014

MODESTY was never a Whitlam trait. Gough Whitlam never doubted he was without peer in the Australian Parliament ... Time and Whitlam’s ever-dignified demeanour as a former prime minister enhanced the image of “the great man” ... His acerbic wit will be forever remembered in that incisive description of his predecessor Bill McMahon as “Tiberius on the telephone” ... Yet his weaknesses were many ... ....(size: 6.8Kb)

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Whitlam's wild ride in the race for reform

Canberra Times

21 Oct 2014

"Only I am Fabius Maximus"; the belittling of Sir William McMahon as "Tiberius with a telephone"; the scorn of Sir John Kerr by reference to Tacitus's view of Galba, that everyone would have agreed him qualified for the post of governor-general had he not held it.  Hocking cites a wonderfully evocative glimpse of Whitlam as a competitor in the 1948 Australian National Quiz Championship, broadcast on radio ... ....(size: 6.9Kb)

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Gough Whitlam, a statesman of stature, distinction and brilliance

The Australian

20 Oct 2014

OBITUARY. Gough Whitlam. Labor prime minister 1972-75. Born Melbourne, July 11, 1916. Died October 21, 2014 aged 98. Pilot officer Gough Whitlam in WWII ... The frenzy of decisions it unleashed after 23 years out of power changed the nation, in some areas permanently ... He parodied Gorton’s convoluted speaking style and ridiculed McMahon as “Tiberius with a telephone”, over the way he handled a political crisis ... ....(size: 20.6Kb)

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New investigation after '2,000 police officers' are implicated in corruption

The Independent

17 Oct 2014

Earlier this year, The Independent revealed the existence of a secret Scotland Yard report from 2002, code-named Operation Tiberius, which concluded there was “endemic corruption” in the Metropolitan Police ... relating to Operation Tiberius – yet none of the rogue detectives appears to have been successfully prosecuted ... Operation Tiberius 2002....(size: 6.9Kb)

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Furry Friday: Made for the outdoors

Stuff

16 Oct 2014

NICK BARNETT. You don't really know a beach, park or walkway till you've crossed it with a dog as company. You see it in a different way. You see the dangers, to both health and hygiene. You notice all the things that a dog might want to pick up ... Dogs are made for the outdoors, which means they're made for spring, they're made for right now ... This is Archer ... Flynn ... Three-month-old Buddy gives five-month-old Tiberius some on-leash training....(size: 3.3Kb)

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The Empire expands with a R30 million Convention Centre investment (Peermont Global (Pty) Ltd)

noodls

16 Oct 2014

(Source. Peermont Global (Pty) Ltd). For those looking for a world-class convention and exhibition centre, the solution is conveniently located alongside Johannesburg's O.R Tambo International Airport ... The enhanced Emperors Palace Convention Centre vaunts 29 well-appointed venues inspired by Roman mythology with names such as 'Lucretia', 'Tiberius' and 'Claudius', offering opulence as lavish as the names themselves suggest ... (noodl....(size: 5.9Kb)

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Pravets Pro-Am Gets Championship Underway (PGA - Professional Golfers' Associations of Europe)

noodls

14 Oct 2014

(Source. PGA - Professional Golfers' Associations of Europe) ... "I was lucky enough to play with my team for two days in a row which some of the other teams weren't able to," explained Martinez ... The second place team of Tiberius Popa, Bogdan Jigman, Nicolae Kovacs, who played with Professionals Damjan Murgelj (PGA of Slovenia) and Ronny Schinnerl (PGA of Austria), carded rounds of 86 and 81 points for a total of 167 (-23) ... distributed by....(size: 2.6Kb)

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Jesus’ Miracles Documented In Newly Found Eyewitness Statement By Roman Historian Marcus Velleius Paterculus?

The Inquisitr

07 Oct 2014

In a related report by The Inquisitr, controversy has erupted over an article published in Free Inquiry that claims Jesus Christ ever existed ... how then should an eclipse occur when the Moon is almost diametrically opposite the Sun?… Phlegon records that, in the time of Tiberius Caesar, at full moon, there was a full eclipse of the sun from the sixth hour to the ninth-manifestly that one of which we speak.” ... ....(size: 4.6Kb)

This page contains text from Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiberius

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This page contains text from Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Sidebottom

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Top Da Yoopers, Da Second Week Of Deer Camp

ITS THE SECOND WEEK OF DEER CAMP
I GOT A SWOLLEN HEAD
I'M LYING WITH THE DUST BALLS
UNDERNEATH MY BED
AN ICY BREEZE IS BLOWING IN
THROUGH THE TONGUE AND GROOVE
MY PANTS ARE FROZEN TO THE FLOOR
AND I'M TOO SICK TO MOVE
I DIDN'T DRINK TOO MANY
ONLY THIRTY CANS OF BEER
IT MUST HAVE BEEN THAT LAST SHOT
THAT PUT ME UNDER HERE
CHORUS:
IT'S THE SECOND WEEK OF DEER CAMP
AND ALL THE GUYS ARE HERE
WE DRINK PLAY CARDS AND SHOOT THE BULL
BUT NEVER SHOOT NO DEER
THE ONLY TIME WE LEAVE THE CAMP
IS WHEN WE GO FOR BEER
THE SECOND WEEK OF DEER CAMP
IS THE GREATEST TIME OF YEAR
I REMEMBER PLAYING POKER
THAT WEASEL MUSTA WON
HE'S WEARING MY NEW SWAMPERS
AND SLEEPING WITH MY GUN
HE'S SNORING LIKE A CHAIN SAW
THE CAMP SMELLS LIKE A DUMP
SOMEONE'S DIRTY UNDERWEAR
IS HANGING ON THE PUMP
MUKKU’S IN THE WOOD BOX
EENER’S PASSED OUT ON THE STOVE
HIS FLANNEL SHIRT IS SMOKING
I WONDER IF HE KNOWS
CHORUS
VITO’S CRAWLING THROUGH THE DOOR
I THINK HE GOT FROSTBITE
HE PASSED OUT IN THE OUTHOUSE
AND HE'S BEEN THERE SINCE LAST NIGHT
THEN GOOFUS STUMBLES THROUGH THE DOOR
HE SAYS HE GOT A BUCK
HE WAS COMING FROM THE WAYSIDE
AND HE KILLED IT WITH HIS TRUCK
THEN MUUSTI CRACKS A BEER AND SAYS
ITS TIME TO CELEBRATE
GOOFUS GOT THE FIRST BUCK
SINCE 1968

Top Da Yoopers, Two Bagger

1. I MET HER UP IN MISULA SHE OWNED HER OWN PULP TRUCK
SHE TOOK ME FOR A RIDE ONE NIGHT AND TOLD ME WE WERE STUCK
SHE PUT HER ARMS AROUND ME AND SAID I'll KEEP YOU WARM
I WAS SO DUMB AND INNOCENT I didn't SEE THE HARM
2. THEN THEY STARTED WRESTLING AND HE ALMOST HAD HER BEAT
HE FOUGHT THAT BIG OL BEEFALO TILL SHE PINNED HIM TO THE SEAT
SHE MADE ME DRINK A CASE OF BEER EVERYTHING WAS A BLUR
WHEN I WORK UP THIS MORNING I WAS MARRIED TO HER
CHORUS:
HES MARRIED TO A LOGGER WHO LOOKS JUST LIKE HIS DAD
BUT HIS DAD don't HAVE A MUSTACHE AND HIS FEET don't SMELL AS BAD
UP HERE IN THE LAST FRONTIER MEN ARE MEN it's TRUE
BUT SHE MAKES ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER LOOK LIKE PEGGY SUE
3. I CALLED UP HER DAD TO SEE IF HE WOULD TAKE HER BACK
HE LAUGHED SO HARD I THOUGHT he'd HAVE ANOTHER HEART ATTACK
HE SAID TO FIND A PAPER BAG TO PUT UPON HER HEAD
I GRABBED A K-MART SHOPPING BAG AND WENT ON BACK TO BED
4. HE TRIED TO PUT THE BAG ON HER BUT IT WAS WAY TOO SMALL
SHE GOT HIM IN A HAMMER LOCK AND PINNED HIM TO THE WALL
HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL WAKING UP TO YOU
IF IVE GOT TO WEAR A PAPER BAG YOU BETTER PUT ON TWO

Top Da Yoopers, Three Months Late

1. I MET HER AT THE PINE GROVE
ONE HOT NIGHT IN MAY
SHE WAS A BLONDE HAIRED FINNISH GIRL
FROM UP IN CHAMPION WAY
SHE WAS SHORT AND BROAD OF BEAM
JUST LIKE A JACKP1NE STUMP
THE BOYS ALL FLOCKED AROUND HER
LIKE THE SEAGULLS AT THE DUMP
2. I TOLD HER I can't POLKA
CAUSE IM JUST TOO DRUNK TO DANCE
SHE BOUNCED ME ALL AROUND THE FLOOR
TILL I ALMOST **** MY PANTS
I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER THAT NIGHT
AND ASKED HER FOR A DATE
I TOOK HER TO MY UNCLE'S CAMP
AND NOW she's THREE MONTHS LATE
CHORUS:
SHES LATE she's LATE
OH LORD she's THREE MONTHS LATE
I TOOK HER TO MY UNCLES CAMP
AND NOW she's THREE MONTHS LATE
3. I SAID SHE WAS MY FIRST LOVE
SHE SAID SHE'D SHOW ME HOW
SHE LEARNED SOME FROM THE MAKI BOYS
AND SOME FROM WATCHING COWS
I FIRED UP THE SAUNA THREW SOME
WATER ON THE ROCKS
THEN I TOOK OFF EVERYTHING
EXCEPT MY WOOLEN SOCKS
4. I DRANK ANOTHER SIX-PACK
AND SHE STARTED LOOKING GOOD
SHE TOLD ME LAY DOWN ON THE BENCH
I WONDERED IF I SHOULD
SHE BEAT ME WITH SOME CEDAR BOUGHS
AND THEN I COULDNT WAIT
NOW IM ALL SORE AND BLACK AND BLUE
AND NOW she's THREE MONTHS LATE
(REPEAT CHORUS)
5. SHE DRAGGED ME TO THE ALTAR
I FOUGHT HER ALL THE WAY
HER DADDY AND HER BROTHERS CAME
AND TOLD ME WHAT TO SAY
NOW HE WORKS FOR C.C.I.
WHERE THE PAY IS REALLY GREAT
HES GOTTA FEED THOSE 15 KIDS
AND A WIFE THAT'S THREE MONTHS LATE

Top Da Yoopers, We're Still Rockin (garage Rock)

1. IT ALL STARTED 1963
SANTA BROUGHT ME MONOPOLY
TWO G.I. JOES AND SOME HOT WHEEL CARS
GRANDMA AND PA GOT ME AN ELECTRIC GUITAR
MY COUSIN BILLY WAS A GEEKY ZIT FACE
SANTA SURPRISED HIM WITH A BEATLE BASS
MY NEIGHBOR MIKEY, THAT DORK WAS MY CHUM
THE LUCKY BUGGER GOT A NEW SET OF DRUMS
WE FORMED A BAND AND CALLED IT THE COLLAGE
DAD MOVED THE CAR SO WE COULD USE THE GARAGE
CHORUS:
AND WE WERE ROCKIN'
YES WE WERE ROCKIN'
IN BEATLE WIGS WE LOOKED NIFTY AND KEEN
'CAUSE WE WERE ROCKIN'
2. OUR SENIOR YEAR 1968
THE SCENE WAS GROOVY, WE THOUGHT WE WERE GREAT
WE PLAYED THE PROM IN BELLBOTTOMS AND BEADS
SONGS BY JIMI HENDRIX, THE STONES AND CREAM
IN THE SEVENTIES WE MADE A LOTTA DOUGH
AND I'M PROUD TO SAY WE DIDN'T PLAY DISCO
CHORUS:
'CAUSE WE WERE ROCKIN', YES WE WERE ROCKIN'
WE PLAYED THE CLUBS, THE RECEPTIONS AND BARS
'CAUSE WE WERE ROCKIN'
BRIDGE:
WELL I GET UP IN THE MORNING
AND I FIX MYSELF A CUP OF COFFEE
DUMP, SHOWER, SHAVE
THEN ANOTHER CUP OF COFFEE
I JUMP INTO THE TRUCK
AND I'M ON MY WAY TO WORK
I STOP AT JOE'S GREASY SPOON
AND I HAVE JUST ONE MORE
CUP OF COFFEE
I TELL JOE I GOTTA GO
I THINK I'M RUNNING LATE
DON'T WANT NOTHING TO
GO WRONG TODAY
'CAUSE TONIGHT I GOTTA DATE
I JUST CAN'T STOP IT
I'VE GOT TO ROCK IT
IF SHE CAN SHAKE IT
THEN WE CAN MAKE IT
AND IF I BREAK IT
I'LL JUST DUCT TAPE IT
3. MY FORTY SIXTH BIRTHDAY 1996
OUR BAND REUNITED JUST FOR KICKS
WE HIT DA OPEN MIC AT HICKEY'S BAR
THEY CALLED US OLD FARTS, BUT WE FELT LIKE ROCK STARS
WITH BEER GUTS STRAINING AND RECEDING HAIR LINES
WE PLAYED THOSE SAME OLD SONGS WE'D PLAYED TEN MILLION TIMES
CHORUS:
AND WE'RE STILL ROCKIN'
YES WE'RE STILL ROCKIN'
I'LL MOVE DA CAR SO WE CAN USE DA GARAGE
AND WE'RE STILL ROCKIN'
'CAUSE WE'RE STILL ROCKIN'
YES WE'RE STILL ROCKIN'
THIS AINT KARAOKE
SO GET OUT OF OUR WAY

Top Da Yoopers, Rusty Chevrolet

C'mon, cmon!
C'mon, you can do it!
(car starts)
All right!
Dashing through the snow
in my Rusty Chevrolet
Down the road I go
Sliding all the way
I need new piston rings
I need some new snow tires
My car is held together
By a piece of chicken wire
CHORUS
Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke
The door just blew away
I light a match to see the dash
And then I start to pray
The frame is bent, the muffler went
The radio, it's okay
Oh what fun it is to drive
This Rusty Chevrolet
I went to the IGA
To get some Christmas cheer
I just passed up my left front tire
And it's getting hard to steer
Speeding down the highway
Right past a county cop
I have to drag my swampers
Just to get the car to stop
(chorus)
(instrumental)
Bouncing through the snowdrifts
In a big blue cloud of smoke
People laugh as I drive by
And I wonder what's the joke
Got to get to Wal-Mart
To pick up the lay-away
'Cause Santa Claus is coming soon
In his big old rusty sleigh

Top Da Yoopers, Nightmare In My Bathroom

1. I WAKE UP TO A NIGHTMARE
HIS ARMPITS IN MY FACE
IT'S MAKING GASTRIC NOISES
AND STINKING UP THE PLACE
HIS TEETH ARE IN THE COFFEE CUP
ON THE NIGHT STAND BY MY BED
THERE'S A SMELLY OLD GYM SOCK
ON THE PILLOW BY MY HEAD
A HOLEY PAIR OF UNDERWEAR
IS HANGING ON THE DOOR
A PEPPERONI PIZZA IS LYING
FACE DOWN ON THE FLOOR
I PUT MY FEET AGAINST HIS BACK
AND GIVE A MIGHTY KICK
HE CRAWLS OVER TO THE BATHROOM
AND HE'S IN THERE GETTING SICK
CHORUS:
THERE'S A NIGHTMARE IN MY BATHROOM
AND it's SUCH A SCARY SIGHT
THERE'S A NIGHTMARE IN MY BATHROOM
AND it's SUCH A SCARY SIGHT
THIS CREATURE'S NOT THE SAME GUY
WHO TOOK ME HOME LAST NIGHT
2. HE STUMBLES FROM THE BATHROOM
WITH HIS FINGER UP HIS NOSE
IT'S SHOVED UP TO THE KNUCKLE
I WONDER WHERE IT GOES
I GOTTA GET HIM OUTTA HERE
BEFORE it's LIGHT OUTSIDE
CAUSE IF THE NEIGHBORS SAW HIM
ID CONSIDER SUICIDE
I SUDDENLY REMEMBER
IT WASN'T AT THE BAR
I MET HIM DOWN ON THIRD STREET
HE WAS BARKING AT THE CARS
I GRAB A DRIED UP SOUP BONE
FROM THE DOG DISH ON THE FLOOR
HE GOES RUNNING OUT TO FETCH IT
AS I FLING IT OUT THE DOOR

Top Da Yoopers, Ruthie Rollover

1. RUTHIE ROLL OVER YOU'RE KILLING ME
YOU AINT AS LIGHT AS YOU USED TO BE
YOU'RE UP THERE HAVING ALL THAT FUN
I'M DOWN HERE WISHING YOU WERE DONE
HURRY UP RUTHIE NOW FINISH UP QUICK
MY KIDNEYS ARE SQUASHED AND IM GETTING SICK
LETTING YOU UP THERE WAS A BAD MISTAKE
HAVE MERCY ON ME FOR GOODNESS SAKE
CHORUS:
RUTHIE ROLL OVER YOU'RE KILLING ME
YOU AINT AS LIGHT AS YOU USED TO BE
IF YOU DON'T STOP EATING NOW
YOU'LL LOOK JUST LIKE MAKIS COW
ALL WINTER LONG it's BEEN EAT, EAT, EAT
PUTTING ON POUNDS IN YOUR SEAT, SEAT, SEAT
I CAN'T STAND THIS MISERY
RUTHIE ROLL OVER YOU'RE KILLING ME
2. TOO MANY PASTIES, BURGERS AND FRIES
TOO MANY HOME MADE BLUEBERRY PIES
A CUDIGHI SANDWICH AND A MILLER LIGHT
A TINOS PIZZA EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT
TOO MANY COOKIES TOO MUCH CAKE
TOO MUCH EATING WHAT YOU JUST BAKED
YOU KNOW I'd LOVE YOU IF YOU WEIGHED A TON
RUTHIE ROLL, OVER I THINK I'M DONE!
(REPEAT CHORUS)
RUTHIE ROLL OVER (roll over roll over)
RUTHIE ROLL OVER (roll over roll over)
RUTHIE ROLL OVER (roll over roll over)
RUTHIE ROLL OVER (roll over roll over)

Top Da Yoopers, Johnny Peckanen

his name is johnny peckanen
he was hatched up in ahmeek
worked the white pine copper mine
seven days a week
when copper took a nose dive
he got his walking papers
had to sell the family farm
just to try to make er
chorus:
he's yoopanese, yoopanese,
a very special breed
dago, fin, cousin jack,
german, french and swede
he grew up with the maki boys
in bumble town location
he dug the ore and cut the trees
that built this mighty nation
he moved down to milwaukee,
no call backs from the mine
they were hiring at this factory
so he went and stood in line
the boss said, hay, we're you from?
johnny said, yooperland usa"
the boss said, go get your bucket yooper!"
"you start to work today!
"i've always hired yoopers,"
"we get along so well"
"they're honest and dependable,"
"and always work like hell"
"they know the value of a dime,"
"and don't expect nothing free"
"you know any other yoopers,"
"tell em they can work for me!"
chorus:
we're yoopanese, yoopanese,
a very special breed
dago, fin, cousin jack,
german, french and swede
we grew up with the maki boys
in bumble town location
we dug the ore and cut the trees
that built this mighty nation
he started up a family,
moved back to yooperland
got a job at houghton tech
sweeping up the sand
he said, living in the ole up"
"is the life for me
chorus:
i'm yoopanese, yoopanese,
don't put a stamp on me
irish, jewish, indian,
we're all the same you see
we have twelfth grade education's
and bachelors degrees
rich and poor, middle class,

Top Da Yoopers, My Car Won't Go

1. I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND it's FORTY BELOW
THE WEATHERMAN TELLS ME it's TOO COLD TO SNOW
I LOOK OUT THE WINDOW AND I KNOW THAT HE'S LYING
MY CAR'S OUT OF SIGHT AND THE SNOWS STILL FLYING
WILL THE CAR START?
(HEY YOU KNOW IT WON'T)
DID THEY PLOW THE ROAD?
(YOU KNOW THEY DON'T)
AM I LATE FOR WORK?
(YOU KNOW YOU ARE)
STUCK AGAIN!
(SO IS YOUR CAR)
CHORUS:
I SHOVEL,AND I SHOVEL,AND I SHOVEL THAT SNOW
I GOTTA GET OUT, BUT MY CAR WON'T GO
I GET THE CABIN FEVER WHEN THE NORTH WINS BLOWS
I GOTTA GET OUT BUT MY CAR WON'T GO
2. I CALL UP THE NEIGHBOR, HE'S GOT FOUR-WHEEL DRIVE
HE CAN'T GET OUT, HE'S BURIED ALIVE
SNOW SHOE OVER PLAY SOME 15-2
I GOTTA CHEER UP 'CAUSE I FEEL SO BLUE
CRANK UP THE BLOWER
(HEY IT WON'T RUN)
GRAB THE SHOVEL
(AH, MUCH MORE FUN)
MY BACK IS BROKE
(YOUR HALF-WAY THERE)
SNOWING AGAIN? WELL I DON'T CARE
CHORUS
3. I GOT A HOT DATE, I CAN'T BE LATE
I'M STILL SNOWED IN, SHE JUST CAN'T WAIT
I'M STUCK IN THE DRIVE, STUCK IN THE HOUSE
WATCHING TV, STUCK ON THE COUCH
START EATING AGAIN
(OH WHAT A BORE)
I JUMPED A SIZE
(AH EAT SOME MORE)
I LOOK LIKE HELL
(WELL LOOSEN THE BELT)
ONE OF THESE DAYS THIS SNOW'S GONNA MELT
CHORUS x2
I SHOVEL,AND I SHOVEL,AND I SHOVEL THAT SNOW
I SHOVEL,AND I SHOVEL,AND I SHOVEL THAT SNOW
I GOTTA GET OUT, MY CAR WON'T GO
I GOTTA GET OUT, MY CAR WON'T GO
I SHOVEL,AND I SHOVEL,AND I SHOVEL THAT SNOW

Top Da Yoopers, Meathead

1. FIRST THING YOU DID ON THE DAY WE MET
YOU TOOK AWAY MY CIGARETTES
ONCE YOU GOT MY NICOTINE
YOU NAGGED UNTIL I QUIT CAFFEINE
BUT YOU WEREN'T SATISFIED WITH THAT
YOU TOLD ME I WAS GETTING FAT
YOU TOOK MY BEER YOU TOOK MY SWEETS
NOW you're TRYING TO TAKE MY MEAT
CHORUS:
IM A MEAT HEAD YES I AM
I LOVE THAT BEEF AND PORK AND HAM
I LOVE IT FRIED SMOKED OR STEWED
BAKED OR BROILED OR BARBECUED
BACON STRIPS SIRLOIN TIPS
DOWN MY CHIN THAT SAUCE WILL DRIP
I LOVE TO REAR THOSE BURGERS FRY
ILL BE A MEAT HEAD TILL I DIE
2. YOU TOLD ME I WAS BLIMPING OUT
YOU MADE ME EAT ALFALFA SPROUTS
BUT RABBIT FOOD WAS SUCH A BORE
ID RATHER BE A CARNIVORE
I NEED FOOD THAT I CAN CHEW
ITS IN MY BLOOD TO BARBECUE
YOU CAN KEEP YOUR BRUSSEL SPROUTS
ILL DIE WITH A PORK CHOP IN MY MOUTH
3. IF I WAS SITTING ON DEATH ROW
AND I HAD ONE MORE MEAL TO GO
I wouldn't ASK FOR DRY RICE CAKES
SOY BEAN SOUP OR BARLEY FLAKES
ID ASK THE WARDEN FOR ONE LAST RIDE
TO A BURGER JOINT WE CALL CLYDES
ID ORDER A DOZEN BURGERS TO GO
ID TAKE MY TIME AND EAT EM SLOW
IM A MEAT HEAD YES I AM
I LOVE THAT BEEF AND PORK AND HAM
I LOVE IT FRIED SMOKED OR STEWED
BAKED OR BROILED OR BARBECUED
WEENIES ROASTED ON A STICK
JUICY STEAKS NICE AND THICK
I LOVE TO HEAR THOSE BURGERS FRY

Top Da Yoopers, Happy Birthday Fungus Face

1. I WAS CLEANING OUT MY TOILET BOWL
WHEN YOUR BIRTHDAY CAME TO MIND
SO I SAT RIGHT DOWN TO WRITE FOR YOU
A HAPPY BIRTHDAY RHYME
SO HERE'S A BIRTHDAY SONG I WROTE
TO TELL YOU HOW I FEEL
EVER SINCE YOU DUMPED ME
YOUR BIRTHDAY'S NO BIG DEAL
CHORUS:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FUNGUS FACE
NO ONE ELSE CAN TAKE YOUR PLACE
YOU A WORTHLESS PIECE OF HUMAN WASTE
I'M SO GLAD YOU'VE GONE AWAY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAVER BREATH
YOU'RE NOT THAT EASY TO FORGET
YOU'RE JUST LIKE SOMETHING BAD I'VE ET
HAVE A LOUSY DAY
2. MAY YOU WRAP YOUR PRECIOUS PICK-UP TRUCK
AROUND A JACKP1NE TREE
AND NEVER GET A DIME
FROM YOUR INSURANCE COMPANY
MAY YOUR BUDDIES GET RELIGION
MAY THE BREWERIES ALL RUN DRY
MAY YOU EAT SOME MOLDY BIRTHDAY CAKE
AND SHIT UNTIL YOU DIE

Top Da Yoopers, Gimmie Another Beer (kegger Rock)

1. THE BOSS BEEN ON MY BUTT ALL WEEK
HES LUCKY THAT I EVEN SHOW UP
DA OLD LADIES BITCHIN CONSTANTLY
TO GIVE MY BEERIN UP
SHE LISTENS TO THE MOTHER-IN-LAW BITCH
ABOUT LIVING THEM YEARS WITH A DRUNK
HELL IF YOU LIVED WITH DAT OLE BAT
YOUD STAY DRUNKER THAN A SKUNK BROTHER
THEY don't UNDERSTAND THAT A MAN NEEDS A BREAK
WHAT BETTER WAY THAN TO GET PEELED UP
SO TONIGHT LETS GET SOME JUMMIES
CRUISE DA CAMP, GET HALF LIT PRETTY MUCH A LITTLE BIT
CHORUS:
SO GIVE ME ANOTHER BEER
COME ON CANTCHA HEAR
ILL SCREAM IT IN YOUR EAR
GIVE ME ANOTHER BEER
2. THE OLE LADIES OUT THERE LAYIN ON THE HORN
CAUSE she's GOT NOWHERE TO STICK HER CAR
I GOTTA GET RID OF THAT MOUNTAIN OF EMPTIES
DA GARAGE SMELLS LIKE WOODIES BAR
IM GONNA PUT A KEG OF BEER IN THE ICE BOX
HOOK UP A GARDEN HOSE TO THAT
BOLT THE NOZZLE TO MY LAZY BOY
THEN I'll ALWAYS HAVE BEER ON TAP
SOME PEOPLE JUST don't UNDER STAND
WE WORK HARD AT TWO CAREERS
WE WORK ALL DAY AT DA SALT MINE
AT NIGHT WE WORK POUNDING BEERS
(REPEAT CHORUS)
BORN TO DRINK BEER
GO CAMP GET DRUNK
BORN TO DRINK BEER
FALL DOWN THROW UP
BORN TO DRINK BEER

Top Da Yoopers, Heikki Lunta

I REMEMBER BACK IN '58 WHEN I WAS JUST A LAD
I WENT UP TO THE COPPER COUNTRY HUNTING WITH MY DAD
THE GROUND WAS BARE AND FROZEN SO WE COULDN'T TRACK NO DEER
SO MY OLD MAN GOT HIS KNAPSACK AND HE FILLED IT UP WITH BEER
HE SAID WE GOTTA TAKE A HIKE WAY OUT IN THE WOODS
THERE'S THIS GUY NAMED HEIKKI LUNTA HE'S CRAZY BUT HE'S GOOD
WE'LL LET HIM DRINK A COUPLE BEERS AND WHEN HE STARTS TO GLOW
HE'LL DO THE HEIKKI LUNTA DANCE AND THEN JUST WATCH IT SNOW
CHORUS:
DANCE, DANCE, DANCE HEIKKI LUNTA DANCE
MAKE IT SNOW, SNOW, SNOW HEIKKI LUNTA SNOW
DANCE, DANCE, DANCE HEIKKI LUNTA DANCE
2. I REMEMBER IT WAS CHRISTMAS EVE 15 YEARS AGO
ALL THE KIDS WERE CRYING CAUSE THEY DIDN'T HAVE NO SNOW
ACCORDING TO THE WEATHERMAN THEY DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE
BUT THE WEATHERMAN DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE HEIKKI LUNTA DANCE
HEIKKI PUT HIS SNOWSHOES ON AND GRABBED A CAN OF BEER
HE PUT ON HIS GIANT PARTRIDGE WINGS AND ANTLERS FROM A DEER
THEN HE GRABBED A CEDAR BRANCH AND DANCED AROUND THE YARD
EVERYBODY SAID THEY NEVER SEEN IT SNOW SO HARD
3. I RECALL A TOURNAMENT OUT AT SUICIDE
ALL THE SNOW WAS MELTING AND WE COULDN'T GET A RIDE
ONE CRAZY FINN CAME DOWN THE HILL AND LANDED ON THE ROCKS
THEY SENT HIM BACK TO FINLAND IN A HOMEMADE CEDAR BOX
WE LOOKED FOR HEIKKI LUNTA BUT HE WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND
WE COULDN'T DO NO JUMPING WITH NO SNOW ON THE GROUND
IT WAS CARL PELLONPAA WHO FINALLY SAVED THE DAY

Top Da Yoopers, Deer Hunting Son Of A Gun

1. OUT IN DA JACKPINES AT DA BREAK OF DAWN
WE LOOK FOR A BUCK OR A TRACK
AT DA END OF DA DAY WE PUT OUR BULLETS AWAY
AND GO BACK TO OUR TARPAPER SHACK
WE SIT IN DA CAMP BY DA KEROSENE LAMP
AND BRAG ABOUT DA HUNTING WE DONE
WE'RE SWEATY OL' STINKIN' SAUNA BEER DRINKIN'
DEER HUNTING SON OF A GUNS
2. WE GO IN DA SAUNA AND WE SIT ON DA BENCH
AND START BEATING OURSELVES WITH A BRANCH
DEN WE RUN OUT BARE NAKED AND WE JUMP IN DA SNOW BANK
AND WE GO PUT ON OUR UDDER PANTS
WE PUT ON OUR SHIRTS FULL OF SAWDUST AND DIRT
AND WE STILL LOOK DA SAME WHEN WE'RE DONE
WE'RE SWEATY OL' STINKIN' SAUNA BEER DRINKIN'
DEER HUNTING SON OF A GUNS
3. WE JUMP IN DA CAR AND HEAD FOR WOODY'S BAR
CAUSE WE RAN OUTTA BEER YESTERDAY
DEN WE GET STUCK CAUSE WE AIN'T GOT DA TRUCK
SO WE HAVE TO PUSH ALL DA WAY
WE CRAWL THROUGH DA DOOR AND WE ORDER UP FOUR
AND START DRINKIN' 'EM DOWN ONE BY ONE
WE'RE SWEATY OL' STINKIN' SAUNA BEER DRINKIN'
DEER HUNTING SON OF A GUNS
4. WE DRINK LOTSA WHISKEY AND WE SHOOT LOTSA SIT
WE DRINK TILL OUR ELBOWS ARE SORE
DEN SOME JACK FROM DULUTH SAYS I STEPPED ON HIS BOOT
AND DEN WE ROLL AROUND ON DA FLOOR
I BITE OFF HIS EAR AND HE BUYS ME A BEER
WE ALWAYS HAVE LOTSA FUN
WE'RE SWEATY OL' STINKIN' SAUNA BEER DRINKIN'

Top Da Yoopers, Super Dooper Yooper Love Machine

all you big city women listen to me
i got some super yooper love like you aint never seen
i like em short, like em tall, like em huge like em small
skinny, homely, i love em all
come on
are you ready for some yooper action
come on
gather round cause im the main attraction
sit on my lap, ill let cha rub my stubble
just one kiss an youll be seeing double
chorus:
im a super, dooper, a super dooper yooper love machine
im a super, dooper, a super dooper yooper love machine
i dont care how many hearts i break
i like to share, i give em all some cake
they fight over me cause im so good lookin
they come from miles around just to do my cookin
come on
are you ready for some huggin and kissin
come on
gather round, you dont know what youre missin
come over here, ill let cha rub my gut

Top Da Yoopers, Diarrhea

1. I KNOW IT'S GETTING LATE
AND I KNOW WE HAD A DATE LUCIA
I HATE TO MAKE YOU WAIT
CAUSE IT WOULD BE SO GREAT TO SEE YA
TEARS FALL FROM MY EYES
AND I MUST APOLOGIZE LUCIA
ILL HAVE TO STAY AT HOME
SO I CALLED YOU ON THE PHONE
CAUSE I'M STUCK HERE ON THE THRONE
WITH DIARRHEA
I THOUGHT IT WAS ONLY GAS
SO I WENT AND LET ONE PASS
THEN I STOOD THERE IN A TRANCE
AS I FILLED MY BRAND NEW PANTS
2. MY MOTHER BROUGHT ME SOUP
BUT IT ONLY MADE ME POOP LUCIA
I NEVER SHOULD HAVE ATE
BUT IT SOUNDED LIKE A GREAT IDEA
YOU KNOW IT REALLY HURTS
WHEN YOU GOT THE HERSHEY SQUIRTS LUCIA
THERE'S NO PAPER TO BE SEEN
SO I USED PEOPLE MAGAZINE
AND IT MAKES ME WANNA SCREAM
DIARRHEA
I LOVE YOU DEAR WITH ALL MY HEART
BUT I CAN'T GO OUT WITH LIQUID FARTS
I WOULDN'T HAVE TO BREAK OUR DATE
IF ONLY I COULD CONSTIPATE
3. I KNOW YOU GOT THE HOTS
BUT I REALLY GOT THE TROTS LUCIA
THERE'S NO NEED TO SCREAM AND SHOUT
CAUSE TOMORROW WE'LL GO OUT I GUARANTEE YA
I KNOW YOU NEED YOUR MAN
SO I CAME UP WITH A PLAN LUCIA
ILL TAKE A CORK AND SUPER GLUE
POUND IT IN THERE WITH MY SHOE
AND THEN I'll BE ALL THROUGH

Top Da Yoopers, Chicquito War

1. A MOSQUITO RAPED A CHICKEN IN A BLUEBERRY PATCH
SEVEN DAYS LATER THE CHIQUITOS HATCHED
THEY GREW UP FAST AND THEY GREW UP MEAN
THEY TORE A BIG HOLE IN THE WINDOW SCREEN
THEY SUCKED ALL THE JUICE FROM A RASPBERRY PIE
THEY CAUGHT UP WITH THE BEAGLE AND THEY SUCKED HIM DRY
THEY TOOK A FEW PINTS FROM ME AND MY MOTHER
THEN THEY FLEW AWAY WITH MY LITTLE BROTHER
CHORUS:
WHAT'S THAT NOISE COMING OUT OF THE BLUE
LIKE A SQUADRON OF B-52S
ITS A FLOCK OF CHIQUITOS AND they're FLYING LOW
DEATH AND DESTRUCTION WHEREVER THEY GO
GRAB THE KIDS AND HIDE ALL THE PETS
GET OUT THE GUNS AND THE CHIQUITO NETS
BOARD UP THE WINDOWS AND SANDBAG THE DOORS
WE GOTTA GET READY GET READY FOR WAR
2. I LOVE TO HUNT CHIQUITOS ON A HOT SUMMER NIGHT
CRUISING THE BUSH ROADS AND SHINING THE LIGHT
I WAIT TILL THEY LAND AND THEN I SHOOT MY GUN
I don't NEED THE MEAT I JUST HUNT FOR FUN
I BAGGED ME A TROPHY JUST LAST WEEK
WITH A FIVE FOOT WINGSPAN AND A SIX FOOT BEAK
I SHOT THAT SUCKER IN SELF DEFENSE
HE WAS CHEWING A HOLE IN MY CHAIN LINK FENCE
TWO CHIQUITOS KNOCKED ME DOWN
I PLAYED DEAD AND I LAID ON THE GROUND
I RAN FOR THE HOUSE WHEN I HEARD ONE SAY
SHOULD WE EAT HIM HERE OR FLY HIM AWAY
THEY DRILLED THROUGH THE ROOF WAY UP BY THE PEAK
I GRABBED A HAMMER AND I BENT IN THEIR BEAKS
THEY LIFTED THE ROOF AND THEY FLEW IT AWAY
I FOUND MY SHINGLES IN SHELTER BAY

Top Da Yoopers, Da Couch Dat Brups

1. I CAN’T FORGET THE NIGHT WE MET
YOU WERE SUCH A HUNK
YOU TOOK ME TO YOUR UNCLE'S CAMP
AND WE GOT REALLY DRUNK
I ASKED YOU FOR SOME FOREPLAY
YOU WENT AND GOT THE CARDS
YOU SAID LETS PLAY 15-2
THAT FOREPLAY SOUNDS TOO HARD
2. I DRAGGED YOU TO THE SAUNA
I TRIED TO PRIME YOUR PUMP
YOU PASSED OUT UPON THE BENCH
AND LAID THERE LIKE A STUMP
I BEAT YOU WITH SOME CEDAR BOUGHS
I TRIED TO GET YOU HOT
YOU GOT ALL EXCITED
AND WENT OFF LIKE A SHOT
CHORUS:
I'M MARRIED TO A COUCH DAT BURPS
AND TALKS TO THE TV
THE LAST TIME YOU TOOK ME OUT
WAS 1963
SHOULDA LISTENED TO MY MA
AND MARRIED SOME OLD FART
ONE WITH LOTS OF MONEY
AND TROUBLE WITH HIS HEART
3. I WENT TO DR. TOBIN
CAUSE I WAS GAINING WEIGHT
HE SAID I SHOULD HAVE CROSSED MY LEGS
CAUSE I WAS THREE MONTHS LATE
IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN THOSE MAKI BOYS
FROM DOWN IN ISHPEMING
THEY DIDN'T TAKE NO CHANCES
THEY USED THOSE RUBBER THINGS
4. YOU WENT DOWN TO GREEN BAY
WITH YOUR BUDDY BOB
ALL YOU DID WAS GUZZLE BEER
AND DIDN'T FIND A JOB
I COULDN'T WAIT TILL YOU GOT HOME
YOU HAD TO MARRY ME
NOW I'M MARRIED TO A COUCH DAT BURPS
AND TALKS TO THE TV

Top Da Yoopers, Beer, Beer, Beer

I WAS BORN A YOOPER WITH BEER IN MY VEINS
I DRINK IT EVERY DAY TO TRY TO EASE THE PAIN
OF ELEVEN MONTHS OF WINTER AND 30 DAYS OF RAIN
AND IF I DIDN’T HAVE MY BEER I THINK I’D GO INSANE
I DRINK IT WHEN ITS FORTY BELOW, I DRINK IT WHEN IT’S HOT
I DRINK IT WHEN IM HAPPY, I DRINK IT WHEN IM NOT
I DRINK IT IN THE SAUNA, I DRINK IT IN MY TRUCK
I DRINK IT OUT AT THE DEER CAMP WHEN I’M CHASING THEM BIG BUCKS
GIVE THIS BOY A BEER MAN, GIVE THIS BOY A BEER
I LOVE THE STUFF, I CAN’T GET ENOUGH BEER BEER BEER
YOU CAN KEEP YOUR WHISKEY YOU CAN KEEP YOUR WINE
I’LL TAKE A COLD BEER ANY OLD TIME
BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER
I LOVE THE STUFF, CAN’T GET ENOUGH BEER BEER BEER
MY DADDY WAS A MINER MY MOTHER WAS THE BOSS
SHE BEAT HIM ALMOST EVERY NIGHT FOR DRINKING TOO MUCH SAUCE
MOTHER WAS AS HARD AS NAILS SHE NEVER SHED A TEAR
WHEN DADDY TOOK AWAY MY MILK AND HANDED ME A BEER
I DRINK IT UP IN HOUGHTON AND OVER IN THE S00
DOWN IN ESCANABA I DRINK THAT GOLDEN BREW
I DRINK IT IN NEGAUNEE AND OVER IN MARQUETTE
I WENT TO A BASH IN NEWBERRY I AIN’T GOT OVER YET
GIVE THIS BOY A BEER MAN GIVE THIS BOY A BEER
I LOVE THE STUFF, I CAN’T GET ENOUGH BEER BEER BEER
YOU CAN KEEP YOUR WHISKEY, YOU CAN KEEP YOUR WINE
I’LL TAKE A COLD BEER ANY OLD TIME
BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER

Top Da Yoopers, Beer Gut

1. MY UNCLE HAD A BEER GUT
THAT WEIGHED TWO HUNDRED POUNDS
HE USED A WHEELBARROW
TO HAUL IT INTO TOWN
THEY TREAT HIM LIKE A KING
WHEN HE WALKS INTO WOODY'S BAR
HIS BEER GUT PAYS FOR LIGHTS AND HEAT
AND WOODY'S BRAND NEW CAR
2. NUDSIE GOT A BEER GUT
THAT GETS BIGGER EVERY YEAR
SINCE NUDSIE GAVE UP LIFTING WEIGHTS
AND STARTING HOISTING BEERS
HE WAS LYING ON THE BEACH ONE DAY
THE SUN KEPT GETTING HOTTER
SOME SAVE THE WHALE FREAKS CAME
AND DRAGGED HIM BACK INTO THE WATER
CHORUS:
BEER GUTS OF AMERICA
STAND UP IF YOU CAN
STICK OUT YOUR BIG BEER GUT
AND HOIST A COOL ONE IN YOUR HAND
YOUR BEER GUT IS YOUR BUDDY
ITS A FRIEND WHO'S ALWAYS NEAR
AND ALL YOU EVER HAVE TO DO
IS FEED IT LOTS OF BEER
3. MUNGO DRANK A PONY KEG
AT DROOPY AHO'S WEDDING
HIS EYES WENT ROLLING ROUND AND ROUND
AND THEN HE STARTED SWEATING
HE TRIPPED ON DUCK AND FUZZ
'CAUSE THEY WERE PASSED OUT ON THE FLOOR
HE LANDED ON HIS BEER GUT
AND HE BOUNCED RIGHT OUT THE DOOR
4. I TOOK MY DATE INTO THE SAUNA
AND ON THE BENCH WE SAT
SHE POINTED AND SHE SAID
'I NEVER SEEN ONE BIG AS THAT"
SHE HELD IT AND SHE STROKED IT
AND SHE TOLD ME WITH A SMILE
BODY BUILDERS MAKE ME SICK
BUT BEER GUTS DRIVE ME WILD

Top Da Yoopers, Yooper Talk

1. I WAS BORN IN A BLIZZARD IN A WILLY'S JEEP
THE U.P. BLOOD IN MY VEINS RUNS DEEP
BUT I MOVED DOWN HERE BACK IN ‘65
CAUSE THE MINE CLOSED DOWN AND I HAD TO SURVIVE
WORKING IN THE CITY WITH A MILLION LIGHTS
GIVING ‘ER TARPAPER DAY AND NIGHT
THE FOREMAN SAYS I’M A WORKING FOOL
CAUSE I EARN MY PAY AND DON’T BREAK NO RULES
CHORUS:
IF I DIDN’T NEED THE WORK I WOULDN’T BE HERE
I’D BE BACK HOME ON THE LAST FRONTIER
GETTING ME SOME OF THAT CULTURE SHOCK
LISTENING TO SOME YOOPER TALK
2. CRUISING IN THE CHEVY THROUGH THE COOL GREEN PINES
ON A BEAT UP HIGHWAY WITH SHOT UP SIGNS
EATING A PASTY OUT AT AHO’S CAMP
PLAYING 15-2 BY THE KEROSENE LAMP
THROWING SOME SHOES WITH THE OTHER GUYS
SHOOTING THE BREEZE AND JUST SWATTING FLIES
GETTING ALL LIT UP ON THAT SIX POINT BEER
CRUISING THE BACK ROADS AND SHINING DEER
IF I DIDN’T NEED THE WORK I WOULDN’T BE HERE
I’D BE BACK HOME ON THE LAST FRONTIER
GETTING ME SOME OF THAT CULTURE SHOCK

Top Da Yoopers, Why Do Girls Think I'm Scary

why do girls think i'm scary?
why do they treat me like a circus freak?
is it because of my big melon head
or because i talk like a geek
or is it because when i'm on the phone with them
i breathe just like this (loud breathing)
why do girls think i'm scary? will i ever get a kiss?
why do girls think i'm scary?
why do they think that i'm a knob?
is it because the way i walk
is faster then most people jog?
or is it because i like to say words
like okie dokie, pee-u and poo?
why do girls think i'm scary?
i'd feel honky dory if i knew
bridge:
if i had a girl friend
you know my love would never end
i'd buy her gifts, i'd buy her things
i'd buy her pearls and diamond rings
i'd lose some weight, i'd exercise
if i'd fart, i'd apologize
i'd wash my feet, i'd lift the seat
i'd even through away all my looky books
3. why do girls think i'm scary?
why do they think that i'm a dork?
is it because i only dress in black
and when i laugh i snort?
why do girls think i'm scary?
i wish somebody knew
why do girls think i'm scary?
why do they act like i smell like poo?
4. why do girls think i'm hideous?
why do they think that i'm a ghoul?
is it because i never get no sun
or because i always pee in the pool?
or is it because when i pass wind
it smells just like burnt shoe?
why do girls think i'm scary?

Top Da Yoopers, Smelting Usa

1. THE SMELT ARE A RUNNING THE FEVER'S IN THE AIR
THE SMELTERS ARE COMING WITH THEIR WADERS AND BEER
THERE'S TOIVO AND EINO IN THEIR PICKUP TRUCK
THEY GOT ALMA AND MARTHA IN CASE THEY GET STUCK
2. AND THE BOYS FROM THE COLLEGE THEY ALL COME BY HERE
THEY'RE EATING THEIR RAW SMELT AND DRINKING THEIR BEER
THEY ALL GO SO CRAZY THEY GOT NOTHING TO LOSE
THEY FALL IN THE RIVER AND THROW UP ON THEIR SHOES
CHORUS:
EVERYBODY'S GOING SMELTING
EVERYBODY'S GOING SMELTING
EVERYBODY'S GOING SMELTING
SMELTING U.S.A.
3. AND THOSE DOWNSTATE BOYS IN THEIR WINNEBAGO'S
ARE FISHING FOR BIG SMELT WITH THEIR FISHING POLES
THEY LOVE US YOOPERS AND THEY DON'T GIVE A DAMN
IF WE DRINK ALL THEIR BEERS AND EAT ALL THEIR SPAM
(REPEAT CHORUS)
4. YAH THE SMELT ARE A RUNNING THE FEVER'S EVERYWHERE
SO PATCH UP YOUR WADERS ITS THAT TIME OF YEAR
PICK UP A SIX-PACK AND DUST OFF THE NET

Top Da Yoopers, Second Week Of Deer Camp

SECOND WEEK OF DEER CAMP
Da Yoopers
(Dr. Demento's 25th anniversery tape)
Note: This transcription is dedicated to my uncle and
confirmation sponsor, Mr. Anthony Mazanec, who
was the best hunter in the Cleveland area
and who passed away last year
Hey there goes one (BANG!) Hey you shot my cow!
It's the second week of deer camp
I got a swollen head
I'm lying with the dustballs
Underneath the bed
An icy breeze is blowing
Into the tongue and groove
My pants are frozen to the floor
And I'm too sick to move
I didn't drink so many
Just durty (thirty) cans of beer
It musta been that last shot
That put me under here
REFRAIN
It's the second week of deer camp
And all the guys are here
We drink play cards and shoot the bull
But never shoot no deer
The only time we leave the camp
Is when we go for beer
The second week of deer camp
Is the greatest time of year
I remember playing poker
That weasel musta won
He's wearing my new swampers
And sleeping with my gun
He's snoring like a chainsaw
The camp smells like a dump
Someone's dirty underwear
Is hanging on the pump
Mickey's in the woodbox
Weener's on the stove
His flannel shirt is smoking (sniff)
I wonder if he knows (YEOW!)
REFRAIN
Beadle's crawling through the door
I think he got frostbite
He passed out in the outhouse
And he's been there since last night
Goofus stumbled through the door
He says he got a buck
He was coming from the wayside
And hit it with his truck
Musty cracked a beer and said
Let's celebrate
Goofus caught the first buck
Since 1968
REFRAIN

Top Da Yoopers, Pizza In My Shorts

1. YOU USED TO TAKE MY PARKING IN YOUR RUSTY CHEVROLET
WED GO OUT TO THE PALMER DUMP AND WATCH THE BEARS AT PLAY
NOW THE HONEYMOON IS OVER YOU don't TAKE ME ANYPLACE
YOU JUST LAY THERE ON THE SOFA POURING BEER INTO YOUR FACE
2. YOU USED TO GO OUT JOGGING AND YOU WORKED OUT REAL HARD
YOU LOOKED JUST LIKE JANE FONDA IN YOUR HOT PINK LEOTARDS
NOW YOU LOOK JUST LIKE GODZILLA WITH YOUR 52 INCH HIPS
AND THE HAIR KEEPS GETTING THICKER UPON YOUR UPPER LIP
CHORUS:
WERE THE ROTUND FAMILY WE NEVER GET ALONG
WE LOVE TO DRIVE EACH OTHER NUTS AND ARGUE ALL DAY LONG
BUT WHEN WE ORDER PIZZA that's ONE TIME WE ALL AGREE
CAUSE NO ONE LOVES THAT PIZZA LIKE THE ROTUND FAMILY
PEPPERONI CAPICOLLI MOUNDS OF MUSHROOMS TOO
MOZZARELLA MORTADELLA BABY SWISS AND BLEU
ANCHOVIES AND OLIVES AND LOTS OF CUDIGHI
That's THE PERFECT PIZZA FOR THE ROTUND FAMILY
3. THOSE TWO BRAIN DEAD KIDS OF YOURS THEY BOTH TAKE AFTER YOU
THEY SIT LIKE STUMPS AND WATCH TV AND EAT TILL THEY TURN BLUE
ITS TWO DAYS AFTER PAYDAY AND THEY ATE UP ALL MY PAY
AND I haven't SEEN THE DOG OR CAT SINCE LUNCHTIME YESTERDAY
4. it's YOU THAT THEY TAKE AFTER YOU NO GOOD LAZY BUM
YOU ALL SHOW UP LIKE CALLOUSES WHEN ALL THE WORK IS DONE
IF I EVER WANNA GET SOME HELP AROUND THE HOUSE

Top Da Yoopers, Little Rat Ronette

(FEMALE VOCAL)
1. SHUT THE DOOR YOUNG MAN AND PUT DOWN THOSE BOOKS
DON'T STAND THERE GIVING ME THOSE DIRTY LOOKS
I SAW YOU KICKING THAT SWEET LITTLE GIRL
THAT LITTLE RONETTE WITH THE PRETTY BLONDE CURLS
I SAW THOSE TEARS IN HER PRETTY BLUE EYES
NOW GET OUT THERE AND APOLOGIZE
(MALE VOCAL)
2. YOU THINK I'M CRAZY I DON'T WANNA DIE
SHE'S JUST FAKIN' IT SHE DON'T CRY
SHE LOOKS SO SWEET AND SHE ACTS SO GOOD
SHE'S THE NORMAN BATES OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD
SHE'S DIRTY AND ROTTEN AND SNEAKY AND MEAN
SHE AIN'T NO GIRL SHE'S A DEATH MACHINE
CHORUS:
DIRTY LITTLE RAT RONETTE
DIRTY LITTLE TEACHER'S PET
ALL YOU TEACHERS THINK SHE'S NEAT
YOU DON'T KNOW SHE EATS RAW MEAT
WE'RE JUST LUCKY SHE AIN'T KILLED US YET
DIRTY LITTLE RAT RONETTE
(FEMALE VOCAL)
3. LISTEN YOUNG MAN I KNOW YOU'RE LYING
LOOK AT THAT ANGEL YOU'VE GOT HER CRYING
SHE'S SO SWEET AND SHE'S SO CUTE
HOW COULD YOU PICK ON HER YOU BRUTE
SHE TOLD ME JUST HOW MEAN YOU WERE
NOW GET OUT THERE AND MAKE UP WITH HER
(MALE VOCAL)
4. IF YOU MAKE ME GO OUT THERE
SHE'LL GOUGE MY EYES AND TEAR MY HAIR
SHE'LL PUNCH MY NOSE JUST TO WATCH IT SQUIRT
THEN SHE'LL KICK ME WHERE IT HURTS
LET ME GO TURN ME LOOSE
I'LL SUE YOUR BUTT FOR CHILD ABUSE
CHORUS:
DIRTY LITTLE RAT RONETTE
DIRTY LITTLE TEACHER'S PET
SHE GROWS FANGS WHEN SHE'S OUT OF SCHOOL
HER EYES TURN RED AND SHE STARTS TO DROOL
WE'RE JUST LUCKY SHE AIN'T KILLED US YET
DIRTY LITTLE RAT RONETTE
DIRTY LITTLE RAT RONETTE DIRTY LITTLE RAT RONETTE
DIRTY LITTLE RAT RONETTE DIRTY LITTLE RAT RONETTE
WE'RE JUST LUCKY SHE AIN'T KILLED US YET

Top Da Yoopers, I Tink My Beagle's Gay (zyderock)

1. MY BEAGLE DRIVES A RABBIT
ALL NIGHT LONG
HE AND HIS BUDDY PETE CRUISE THE BUSH ROADS
OUT OF TOWN
WELL I SORTA SUSPECTED THOSE TWO RIGHT
FROM THE START
NOW A STICK OF DYNAMITE WON'T BREAK
THOSE TWO APART
2. THE BUDDIES THINK HE'S A GOOD OLE'
STUDDLY HOUND
THE GREATEST DAMNED OLE' RABBIT DRIVING
MUTT AROUND
BUT THEY DON'T KNOW HIS TAIL WAGS THE
OTHER WAY, HOLY WAH
I'M TELLING YOU, I THINK MY
BEAGLE'S GAY
CHORUS:
IT'S HUMILIATING, AGGRAVATING,
FRUSTRATING, IRRITATING
WHEN YOUR DOG'S A FORNICATING
ON THE MAIL MAN'S LEG
THE HUMILIATION, AGGRAVATION,
FRUSTRATION THAT YOU FEEL
WHEN YOUR DOG'S GOT A RED ONE
FOR THE NEIGHBOR'S BULLDOG STAG
IT'S REPUGNANT, SHOULD I MAKE HIM CHANGE HIS WAYS?
IT'S REDUNDANT, WILL HE ALWAYS BE THIS WAY?
YOU KNOW LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING
AND LOVE IS BLIND THEY SAY
BUT I'M NOT SURE, I THINK MY BEAGLE'S GAY
3. DA WIFE TOLD ME THAT I WAS
BEING A FOOL
IT'S JUST ANOTHER DOGGY PHASE
HE'S GOING THROUGH
SO I TOOK HIM TO MUTTIE MAKIE'S
DOWN THE STREET
HE HAD A BEAUTIFUL FEMALE BEAGLE
SHE WAS IN HEAT
4. I SAID TO MY DOG, "GO GET HER STUDDLY,
YEAH, HAVE SOME FUN"
"SHE'S RIGHT OVER THERE, COME ON, GO AHEAD,
SHOW OLE' MUTTI HERE HOW IT'S DONE"
WELL, HE WENT OVER THERE AND
TOOK A SNIFF
BUT THEN HE YAWNED AND TOOK A
GREAT BIG POOP
MUTTI LAUGHED AND LAUGHED,
I FELT LIKE A STOOP!
(REPEAT CHORUS)

Top Da Yoopers, Grandpa Got Run Over By A Beer Truck

CHORUS:
GRANDPA GOT RUN OVER BY A BEER TRUCK
COMING OUT OF WOODY'S CHRISTMAS DAY
GRANDMA GOT A JOB OUT AT THE BREWERY
I NEVER KNEW THAT SHE COULD DRIVE THAT WAY
1. GRANDPA WAS OUT DRINKING WITH THE FLOOZIES
SPENDING ALL OF GRANDMA'S HARD EARNED DOUGH
HE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TO PAY THE BAR TAB
SO WOODY TOSSED HIM OUT INTO THE SNOW
2. GRANDPA STOOD THERE FROZEN IN THE HEAD LIGHTS
HE LOOKED JUST AS HELPLESS AS A DEER
I DON'T THINK HE WAS AFRAID OF DYING
I THINK HE WAS AFRAID HE'D SPILL HIS BEER
(REPEAT CHORUS)
3. WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT HE'D END UP AS A ROAD KILL
SHE FLATTENED HIM RIGHT OUT ON THE CENTER LINE
HE COULD HAVE MADE IT TO THE CURB IF HE WERE QUICKER
BUT SHE BACKED IT UP AND SQUASHED HIM ONE MORE TIME
4. GRANDMA CRIED AND CRIED AT GRANDMA'S FUNERAL
NOT BECAUSE WE PEELED HIM OFF THE ROAD
ALL THE LOOT SHE GOT FROM HIS INSURANCE
WENT TO PAY THE BAR TAB THAT HE OWED

Top Da Yoopers, Free Beer

1. Some guys like that bottled beerSome like it in a canSome say a keg's
the best beerFor a real beer drinking manEveryone has their
favouriteBut on one thing they agreeThe greatest beer in all the
worldIs the one you drink for freeFree beer free beerThat's my
favourite brandIf I didn't have to buy itIt's the best beer in the
landWarm flat funkyIt don't matter to meThe greatest beer in this
whole worldIs the one you buy for me
2. The boys at the bar were
bettingOn whose beer was the bestI didn't have a nickelSo they
chose me to make the testThose fifteen different kinds of beerWere
wonderful to meEach one was my favourite brewThe beer I drink for
freeFree beer free beerThat's my favourite brandIf I didn't
have to buy itIt's the best beer in the landWarm flat funkyIt
don't matter to meThe greatest beer in this whole worldIs the one you
buy for me
3. Our old pal Nudsie got marriedHe was trying to save
some bucksHe went out and bought the cheapest beerAnd boy it really
suckedBut after you choke that first one downThe rest go easilyAs
long as you remember thatYou're drinking them all for freeFree
beer free beerThat's my favourite brandIf I didn't have to buy
itIt's the best beer in the landWarm flat funkyIt don't matter to

Top Da Yoopers, Fishin Wit Fred

1. 20 YOOPERS IN A PONTOON BOAT
DRIVEN BY MY BUDDY MIKE
WE'RE FISHIN OUT ON THE BASIN
FOR ALLIGATOR WALLEYE PIKE
EMIL BROUGHT HIS TV
AND ROUTIES BEAGLE FRED
HE'S TOO OLD TO DRIVE A RABBIT
SO HE COMES FISHIN WITH US INSTEAD
WE GOT LAWN CHAIRS A POKER TABLE
AN ICE COLD KEG OF BEER
WE'RE LOADED DOWN WITH SO MUCH STUFF
MIKE CAN HARDLY STEER
CHORUS:
20 YOOPERS IN A PONTOON BOAT
FISHIN FOR MOBY DICK
DA WIFE SHE THINKS I'M WORKING
& DA BOSS HE THINKS I'M SICK
IT'S A PERFECT DAY FOR FISHIN
DRINKING BEER AND TELLING LIES
ITS A LITTLE BIT LIKE HEAVEN
WHEN YOU'RE FISHIN WIT DA GUYS
2. MOOCH IS SHOWING DIRTY SHIRT
THE PROPER WAY TO CAST
HE SNAGS OLE NO NECK BY DA EAR
OF COURSE NOBODY LAUGHS
DABBERS GRILLING VENISON STEAKS
DA FLAMES ARE THREE FEET HIGH
HIS FISHING HAT IS SMOLDERING
BUT IT KEEPS AWAY DA FLIES
MUNGOS ON HIS FIFTEENTH BEER
HE'S STANDING BY DA KEG
HE DON'T KNOW FRED DA BEAGLE
IS GOING ON HIS LEG
(REPEAT CHORUS)
3. A WINNEBAGOS BOBBING BY
IT LOOKS LIKE NOAH'S ARK
ITS FULL OF TERRORISTS FROM OHIO
FISHING FOR FRESHWATER SHARK
THEY SAY SOME FOOL FORGOT DA PLUG
THEIR BOAT SANK LIKE A ROCK
SO THEY LAUNCHED DA WINNEBAGO
IT BEATS FISHIN FROM DA DOCK
SO WE ALL RUN UP FRONT TO LOOK
AND DA PONTOON STARTS TO SINK
EVERYBODY BUT FRED DA BEAGLE
ENDS UP IN THE DRINK

Top Da Yoopers, Da Fish Fight Song

(FEMALE VOCAL)
1. YOU SMELL JUST LIKE A CAN OF WORMS
BAKING IN THE SUN
THERE'S FISH GUTS HANGING FROM YOUR CHIN
I SURE HOPE YOU HAD FUN
YOU GOTTA STOP HANGING 'ROUND
THAT WORTHLESS BUNCH OF GUYS
CAUSE IF YOU DUMP A SHIFT AGAIN
I'LL BLACKEN BOTH YOUR EYES
2. IF YOU GO OUT FISHING
AND FORGET TO DO YOUR CHORES
I'M GONNA TAKE THE CHAIN SAW
AND CUT UP THAT BOAT OF YOURS
IF I CATCH YOU MAKING SPAWN BAGS
FROM MY BRAND NEW PANTYHOSE
I'LL TAKE THOSE SMELLY FISH EGGS
AND RAM 'EM UP YOUR NOSE
CHORUS:
FISH FISH FISH
THAT'S ALL YOU EVER DO
FISH FISH FISH
WIT DAT LOUSY CREW
(MALE VOCAL)
NAG NAG NAG THAT'S ALL YOU EVER DO
NAG NAG NAG
UNTIL YOUR FACE TURNS BLUE
(FEMALE VOCAL)
3. I THOUGHT YOU GAVE ME CHINESE FOOD
IN THOSE TWO FOAM CUPS
I NEARLY HAD A HEART ATTACK
WHEN I WARMED 'EM UP
A HEAP OF SLIMY DEW WORMS
WAS SQUIRMING ON MY PLATE
YOU'RE LUCKY THAT I SAW THEM MOVE
BEFORE IT WAS TOO LATE
4. I THREW OUT THOSE FISH EGGS
IN THOSE GERBER BABY JARS
BABY HUEY ATE SOME
NOW HE BACKFIRES LIKE A CAR
I'M GONNA SMASH YOUR TACKLE BOX
AND BREAK YOUR FISHING POLES
AND TAKE MY SUSHI KNIFE
AND FILL YOUR WADERS FULL OF HOLES
(REPEAT CHORUS)
5. MY MOTHER TRIED TO WARN ME
THIS TIME I'M GONNA LISTEN
SHE TOLD ME I SHOULD LEAVE YOU
THE NEXT TIME YOU GO FISHING
(MALE VOCAL)
I'M REALLY GONNA MISS YOU
AND ALL THE FUN WE HAD
BUT IF YOU WANNA SEE ME
I'LL BE FISHING WITH YOUR DAD
CHORUS: (FEMALE VOCAL)
FISH FISH FISH
THAT'S ALL YOU EVER DO
FISH FISH FISH
WIT DAT LOUSY CREW
(MALE VOCAL)
I GOTTA GO GO GO
STOP CAWING YOU OLD CROW
NO NO NO

Top Da Yoopers, Christmastime At My House

1. LUTEFISK BOILING ON DA STOVE
ITALIANS AT THE DOOR
THEY SPILL A PAN OF MEATBALLS
ALL OVER MARTHA'S FLOOR
UNCLE HEIKKI SLIPS ON THEM
AND STARTS A GREAT BIG FIGHT
IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME AT MY HOUSE
IT'S GONNA BE SOME NIGHT
2. THE KIDS ARE ON A SUGAR BUZZ
THEY JUST WON'T GO TO BED
THEY GOT THE LATEST VIDEO GAMES
DANCING IN THEIR HEADS
THEY SPOTTED UNCLE BRUNO
SNOOZING NEXT TO ME
THEY POPPED OUT HIS FALSE TEETH
AND HUNG 'EM ON THE TREE
CHORUS:
CHRISTMAS TIME FOOD AND WINE
FAMILY FRIEND AND FOE
WE CELEBRATE HIS BIRTHDAY
BY SPENDING ALL OUR DOUGH
NOW WERE BROKE AND HAPPY
AND FULL OF CHRISTMAS CHEER
IT'S JUST TO BAD THAT CHRISTMAS TIME
COMES ONLY ONCE A YEAR
3. THE MOTHER-IN-LAWS BEEN DRINKING
FROM A JUG OF DAGO RED
SHE'S DANCING ON THE TABLE
WITH HER BLOOMERS ON HER HEAD
THE MINISTERS ON THE ORGAN
PLAYING ROCK AROUND THE CLOCK
HE TRIES TO GIVE A SERMON BUT
HE'S JUST TO DRUNK TO TALK
4. THE BROTHER-IN-LAW PLAYS SANTA CLAUSE
HE'S DIGGING IN HIS SACK
THE KIDS ARE SHOVING NICKELS
DOWN HIS BIG BUTT CRACK
HE JUMPS UP TO CHASE THEM
AND HIS PANTS FALL TO HIS KNEES
HE TRIPS ON UNCLE BRUNO
AND HE TOTALS OUT THE TREE

Top Da Yoopers, Bingo Fever

1. YOU'RE JUST LIKE A STRANGER
WHEN YOU'RE IN A BINGO TRANCE
THE KIDS DON'T EVEN
KNOW YOU ANYMORE
WITH YOUR BINGO BAG AND DAUBER
AND YOUR LUCKY BINGO PANTS
YOU LOOK LIKE A SOLDIER
GOING OFF TO WAR
2. YOU BEG THE KIDS FOR MONEY
BUT THEY HIDE THEIR PIGGY BANKS
YOU'RE JUST LIKE MY UNCLE
WHEN HE NEEDS A DRINK
YOU'RE MUMBLING AND YOU'RE SWEATING
AND YOU GOT THE BINGO SHAKES
I THINK it's TIME TO
SEE A BINGO SHRINK
YOU USED TO GO TO BINGO
ONLY ONCE A WEEK
THEN YOU GOT THE FEVER
NOW YOU'RE A BINGO FREAK
CHORUS:
YOU PLAY BINGO UP IN LANSE
WITH YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR AUNTS
AND YOU TELL ME THAT it's
ONLY RECREATION
BUT YOU ALWAYS GET SO HOT
WHEN YOU HAVE TO SPLIT THE POT
THEY HAVE TO KICK YOU
OFF THE RESERVATION
3. I REMEMBER ON OUR HONEYMOON
I DIDN'T SLEEP AT ALL
CAUSE YOU KEPT YELLING
BINGO IN YOUR SLEEP
YOU DRAGGED ME OUT OF BED
AND THREW ME UP AGAINST THE WALL
AND SAID YOU BETTER CALL
1-17 YOU CREEP
4. THEN THERE WAS THAT OTHER TIME
DOWN AT THE LEGION HALL
REMEMBER THAT OLE LADY
THAT YOU CLOBBERED
YOU WERE PLAYING 50 CARDS
AND SHE WAS PLAYING ONE
SHE YELLED BINGO AND YOU
STABBED HER WITH YOUR DAUBER
YOU USED TO GO TO BINGO
TO PLAY IT JUST FOR KICKS
NOW YOU'RE A BINGO JUNKIE
AND YOU NEED A BINGO FIX
(REPEAT CHORUS)
5. NOW HERE YOU ARE JUST SITTING
IN THIS MARQUETTE COUNTY JAIL
FOR BEATING UP THAT
POOR OLD BINGO CALLER
YOU SAID THAT GUMMER RIGGED THE GAME
HE WOULDN'T LET YOU WIN
HE PRETENDED THAT HE
DIDN'T HEAR YOU HOLLER
YOU TRIED TO KICK THE HABIT
BUT IT DROVE YOU UP THE WALL
SO YOU SNUCK OUT WITH YOUR BINGO BUDDIES
UP TO THE BINGO HALL

Top Da Yoopers, Da Yoopers

(Spoken)
C'mon, cmon!
C'mon, you can do it!
(car starts)
All right!
Dashing through the snow
in my Rusty Chevrolet
Down the road I go
Sliding all the way
I need new piston rings
I need some new snow tires
My car is held together
By a piece of chicken wire
CHORUS
Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke
The door just blew away
I light a match to see the dash
And then I start to pray
The frame is bent, the muffler went
The radio, it's okay
Oh what fun it is to drive
This Rusty Chevrolet
I went to the IGA
To get some Christmas cheer
I just passed up my left front tire
And it's getting hard to steer
Speeding down the highway
Right past a county cop
I have to drag my swampers
Just to get the car to stop
(chorus)
(instrumental)
Bouncing through the snowdrifts
In a big blue cloud of smoke
People laugh as I drive by
And I wonder what's the joke
I got to get to Wal-Mart
To pick up the lay-away
'Cause Santa Claus is coming soon
In his big old rusty sleigh

Top Depresy, Anamnesis

My origin is in fire of vernal space
Each atom in my flesh
Was here long before living
In flames I witnessed cosmos coming
I hold the legacy of long-lived energy
Floating balance disguised in evolution
Along with dust of space ancestry
I shield the inner flame of stellar cremation
Revolted demigod burned his bridges
Escape from nature, where true wisdom mature
And he never found again the lost virtue
But man stole the fire and all elements enclosed
Searched for Khaos' source, when space-time arose
Staring beyond horizon as his twilight grows
In cold dark oblivion ideas are drowning
Knowing my grave by heart
From beginning I lay inside
Whenever I rise in superior form of living
I materialized and love beauty
But I'm wading in the dirt of world
That mud overflows history of cruelty
Through senses of man to time-eternity
Constant presence of death allures me
As much as it dreads you
I'm being, that came from deep space to Earth
Myriads of fiery spots surround me
In their stable beams I see the past

Top Depresy, Crepuscular Conquest

Lie down, my friend, into the bed of home
Let the dream protect you from coming of night
Enchained prejudice leave in irons
In celebration of dusk I devote to might
Human era formed by myths at fires, whatever is heard
in gales...
Eyes of fear open agape
When night is chilly, tenebrous and wicked
Wait for early coming of new morning
When birth of sun denotes victories
The night arise even from east
And Muses are born by waning Luna
Morel-black art I create with heart
Ambient crawls in silence feast
Search the forgotten light of noon
In unclean powers of silver moon
In its influence well-known timber
Is changing to calm ghastly chamber
Each light is shadowing
And shadows are seducing
Dark companion follows me
From dusk to dusk...
Try to find beauty in miraculous night of Saovine...
Embedded to night like ivy and tree
I wait for hunt with elate soul
Only morning sun will scare away

Top Depresy, Psychospiritual Mysticism

Lost Leukaristos
Laugaricio found...
Vagus endeavouring dolomite of Carpathia...
Harmony of spheres in sadness of valleys
Voiceless for three years
In embrace of night music is born
Patron of dark lyrics
That breaks mournful echo of silence
We are bright flame of this ball
Where Muse created flower in dance with Psyché
Founded past of eternal magic
Revealed spell of black art
Star of knowledge is ablazing in reflection under our
feet
In its light merged five sights in distance
Now we are standing in cinder, new is melting with old
Wind kindles only smothering embers
And silence dies drop by drop again...
Between the world of logic and fantasy
Techniques and rituals lies the realm of shadows
Space, which is ruled by mighty hierarchists
Of hermetic illusions
It was rejected as a land of maniacs
Which knowledge is wicked and dangerous
Yird where illusion is the truth
And the truth faded away
Space around which religion raised the walls
Having no courage to enter
Space, which exhausts the soul, perforates feeble mind
And rack - rents the skin off mortal body
So it was rejected as a land of maniacs
Which knowledge is wicked and dangerous
Yird where illusion is the truth
And the truth faded away
When the night ravishes the day
And the twilight choir dies away
Green beam burns the inner flame
Scattered star light rules again
State of holy lunacy,
Domination of shaman's space
Psychospiritual warriors swarm
Invoking rebirth of the 'I'
Via rituals of new aeon
Others, who are not only members
Of existential collapse within space and time
But they are becoming its creators
Supremacy of shaman's space
From the highlands beyond good and evil
Governs entities of astral empire
Through magic rhythm finds the keys
Like a mystic bell into the sleeper's soul
Between the world of logic and fantasy
Techniques and rituals lies the realm of shadows
Space, which is ruled by mighty hierarchists
Of hermetic illusions

Top Depresy, Sighting

When moon rises high; when violates the sky
and stars on his shroud are dragged to follow him
The time has come to touch the mystery
through spell symbols so can peer to eternity
Candlelight, frozing shadow, the magic power of words,
Destruction of the veil of logic and of stupid human rules
Always is reason, there is no chance
There is no place for weak ones
Ceremonial magic, symbolic death is real
I hunger for the bath in the pool of your blood
in ache you will meet the pleasure of redemption
I am a fiery amulet on your breast
cauterized wound of the knowledge
An echo of ancient laments, mysterious breeze of knowledges
Power of mighties never seen by an eye
for which you dissolve as shadow eternal
Not whoever is allowed to peer...
Ceremonial magic, taste your own pain !
When moon rises high; when violates the sky
and stars on his shroud are dragged to follow him
The time has come to touch the mystery

Top Depresy, Lunar Spell

Abused by lunar delirium
I rise along the marbled stairs
Smelling heavy breath of must
I know I am not in the realm of dreams
What leads my steps into these scenes ?
The creech of massive oaken doors and
through the body permeats the strength of supernature
An energy materialised in fear
as olden as very prime itself...
Abused by lunar delirium
I rise along the marbled stairs
Smelling heavy breath of must
I know I am not in the realm of dreams
What leads my steps into these scenes ?
The rooms ornamented by the cobwebbed shrouds
Heavy crimson curtains soaked with silence
The place, where hope is buried in flues
where strange tales are revived in lunar sigh
Time of Lunar spells
By terribleness driven, by moonlight wheedled
I hear the voices from the abysses of ancient worlds
wishful to unveil the silent beauty of the night
I want to touch the cult of blood with heart
to fill up the goblet of knowledge
to accept gift of timeless life
to be a wanderer not enchained by time
There is a purity in the dying, the yearning for a new birth
It's time of Lunar spells
Abused by lunar delirium
I rise along the marbled stairs
Smelling heavy breath of must
I know I am not in the realm of dreams
What leads my steps into these scenes ?
The rooms ornamented by the cobwebbed shrouds
Heavy crimson curtains soaked with silence
The place, where hope is buried in flues
where strange tales are revived in lunar sigh

Top Depresy, In Multam Noctem - Nocturnal Blackness

You have the wings, which rain can't drench
and still they are trembling beneath the touches of stars
In the massive chords of insane sounds
you are speaking to god, who doesn't see you
Alone with your pain under guard-sheath of the night
Joined by mysterious singing of nocturnal birds
From the light beams to the shadows of the stars
when night is still vernal
Dissapointed by the light in the abysses of dreams
Blackness shadow, uprised angel walking to the dark
You are the Lord of dusk but yet you shine
fervent heart vestured by the night
Alone with your pain under guard-sheath of the night
Joined by mysterious singing of nocturnal birds
From the light beams to the shadows of the stars
when night is still vernal
You emerge uprose from the darkness of your heart
from life's sorrow, above the upland of glory
You have the wings, which rain can't drench
and still they are trembling beneath the touches of stars
You emerge uprose from the darkness of your heart
from life's sorrow, above the upland of glory
You are the Lord of dusk but yet you shine
fervent heart vestured by the night
Alone with your pain under guard-sheath of the night
Joined by mysterious singing of nocturnal birds
You have the wings, which rain can't drench
and still they are trembling beneath the touches of stars
In the massive chords of insane sounds

Top Depresy, Cosmic Tragedy

Justice and wisdom, as other things
Which are very sympathetic
Which attracts so many souls
Have in their earthly shape barely glitter
Only a few people can face its forms
And enter the palace with numb senses
They hardly notice genuine substance
They hardly notice genuine tenet
At that time of beginning
When we were proceeding
In the cue of beatifics
Glorious beauty was shining
We were staring in bright shine
At immaculate revelations
Rejoicing in dedication of perfectness
Unremarked by something, which name is flesh
Everything here by spirit created
Is bounded back to matter
True pleasure never came here
Lamentable twisted place
Captured in slavery of our passion
For eternal yearning of knowledge
Beings robbed by matter, without memories
With no understanding the causes in wheel of Karma process
Everything like a dream and nightmare is
The truth rests in awakening
We bow before limitations of our mind
Like flowers in breath of nocturnal cold
Lifeless emotions ignorance rules without logic of guilt
Breaking the seventh seal is urgent
In this laterna magika of sorrow
A new king is crowned
However bright flame accrue from the sky
What was dust, stone will be,
Which's glory endures ages

Top Depresy, Blind Equilibrium (a Complete Degeneracy Of Perfect Cosmological Principles)

Within universe without illusions and light
Wanders stranger in human masque
Inside a cage of sickly mind
Dwells clean state, sprouting seed, metaphysics disappears
From darkness we inure to live
Before we start to think
Gnawing worm is inside of me
Preparing in subtlety of heart as a great masterpiece
Musing obstructs internal rest
Knowledge of world drowns in scepsis, everything vanishes in mist
Time evaporates to infinity
And touch of lethargy quickens latent acerbity
Fetter of life forged by the great ideas says
That religion and science transcend living - give it sense
That fallacy on people not living for their lives,
But for hope which betrays them when eternal gloom will come
Collapse of all belief systems leads to universal nihilism,
Hopelessness and collapse of civilisation
All those who search for eternal life will find eternal death
And those who search for logic will swallow absurdity
In their ash I'm wading towards the jerkiness
Where illogical trends formed principles of logic
Wittingly manipulated with "similar" as with "same"
But nothing is the same itself and prevailing winds blind again

Top Depresy, Metaphysical Implication Of Evil (spiritual Cremation)

Magic geometry
Forlorn prayer cemetery
False Messiah
Sanguinary gate leading to Assiah
Crown of thorns, baby's giggling
Galaxies created for eternal sin
Moist tombs, guilt of love
Death is the only certainty
Being the route to new life
By destructive flame heavens flared
Cinder is creeping on sanctity chimera
In freezing shine of midnight suns
Lifeless light devoted to night
Everything breeds, everything dies
Eternity between two heartbeats flows
None of the stars is timeless
Only infinite black darkness
It was origin - comprehend
't was beginning, 't will be end
Magic geometry
Desperate prayer cemetery
Fake Messiah
Burning gate leading to Assiah
Pain and delight, temple of lust,
Vision of power and glory wheedles Black and white, no
middle curse
Without kiss of vice we don't know virtue
Through evil we learn
Evil is not only absence, it's forcing power,
Living spiritual being,
To which we behold, being aware of it
Blaze communes on heaven's throne,
When weakness and acrimony are born
Creature of angel sows to souls:

Top Depresy, Demonized Muse

Stone of olden ages in the eye's pupil of sculptor of
perfectness
Spectre of creation hangs above him, soaking into
himself
Everything was here before and everything was somewhere
written
Stories with faded face of truth are becoming
legends...
Small demon of tumult slowly caught his breath
And showed me the depths of abyss of doubt and
disbelief
Closed windows are silent challenge to open them agape
Light will fill the depths of fear of our
unconsiousness
Vault of heaven in gleaming night
Principle of creation is falling on us
We snatch the Muse in clear desire
To become prime movers of conception
She's in springs of irascible thoughts
When dusk is nesting in ruins of walls
Assaults memoried souls, resides in recluse's heart
And hidden truth impels us to action
Everyday I discover something new and it multiplies my
desire for knowledge
Each gulp urges bigger hunger - infinite choice of
chances
...while exhausted mind wanders on mosaic of ideas
Muses always uncover to chosen one only a few pieces of
stones
Vault of heaven in gleaming night
Principle of creation is falling on us
We snatch the Muse in clear desire
To become prime movers of conception
The one who held inside indestructable energy

Top Depresy, Navb - Carpathian Sonnet Of The Dead

Solidified clay deceived by faint light of day
Across trees flew short dusk without flame
Today the frost drains marl drunken by rains
Doused will be land tortured by winds
Embrace of mist overflowing the sticks
Eagerly awaits on repulsive gravestones
Under funeral ground is bore nocturnal fear
Silence screams when unrest resides on soul
Chilly timber surrounded chalcedonian seas
Ominous whip of wings spoke from the crests
Crimson eyes flared and clearly burn
Darken skies by quills are declaring Kraèún
Burning crimson of twilight has disappeared
Paraselena is hidden by mist
Funeral calm turned to gale in necropolis
And mortal land crossed the dead
Fiery glances soared over rainy mountains
By mourning screech they are paving their way
Souls that fly will recover on ground
And dead men on hooves will bring the revenge
Behind the gates of life, beyond the fire of torch
From sacred yird, where dead ones dwell
Come souls so silent and secretly
Aeons of wolflike famine howl the choirs
That chant of the dead will burn by blaze
Invisible black hordes will gallop tonight
Clatter turns to silence - majestic and solemn
Seven winters passed away, twelfth fullmoon rules
Spirits are still roaming and graves are emptied
Graves are vacant and spirits are wandering
Marble on cenotaph got so cold
Nightly gesture oranta redeems the forlorns

Top Depresy, The Forest Below The Midnight Shadow

I fear the light, I was always loving night
thus don't douse the stars for the piece of morning
Dark night-the muse of my words
I walk through the sombre forest with her, robed in silence
To pass the land of woods, where moon touches cold stones with his lips
Where whir of water is heard, that shriek which springs from decaying rocks
Words cannot represent what thought looses
so let be led and hear
The forest below the midnight shadow, the trees will spread their shroud
It is time of spell beginning, of merger with eternal world of darkness
We are the children of the darkness seducted by the light
Moon and stars, our lives are in them
Nothing but deep forest, the domination of wooden soul
hides unbound beauty of shattered dreams
Passion is eternal, the forest below the midnight shadow
by roots chained never-dying dream
Wood imperium, great and beautiful
life and belief drowned in the chilly night
I fear the light, I was always loving night
thus don't douse the stars for the piece of morning
Dark night-the muse of my words
I walk through the sombre forest with her, robed in silence
To pass the land of woods, where moon touches cold stones with his lips
Where whir of water is heard, that shriek which springs from decaying rocks
Words cannot represent what thought looses
so let be led and hear
Passion is eternal, the forest below the midnight shadow
by roots chained never-dying dream
Wood imperium, great and beautiful

Top Depresy, The Antichrist's Philosophy

Beyond the window of your thoughts
from deepest shadows of the waste swamps
by the eyes of whitebeard to the espied space,
oasis of silence, that crystal beauty of solitude, I gaze
I am an opened book, mind including of all
a desire fleshed in knowledge
An uncovered spring accessible to each
Majestic shrine so distant for that who don't see
Not everybody can enter to the hall of infrequent
where is allowed to peer into itself
Profoundness is denied to the blind
can't be understood without the self-belief
In your weakness you're seeking the god
The cause of your spiritual torments is material
Don't willing to see, don't want to hear
You're vain and I despise with ye
The gates are agape opened
Is permitted to come in who opens the eyes
Finished will be roaming on the wrong paths
I am an uncovered spring accessible to each
Majestic shrine so distant for that who don't see
I won't weep for your blindness
I am the one that will forgive myself
Not everybody can enter to the hall of infrequent
where is allowed to peer into itself

Top Depresy, Tale Of Dust

We are sooth great in our scruffiness
never can be butterfly altered to eagle
Thousand of subsistences
so blind and vainglorious
We are just a grain of sand
carried by the wind in the vast desert
We are falling into the void of our pride
The light of wisdom is hidden from the sight
astral world's gates are still closed
Imprisoned by our material existence
we are loosing the wings of spiritual being
"We are sooth great in our scruffiness"
Peer into your heart
and your eyes will see.
Lot of things are between the heaven and the earth, there
but just abiding ones can understand
We are doomed to live in darkness

Top Depresy, Spiritual Obscure Mysteries

In the times of ancient prophecies
when the taught found its tangibility
The eternal tale, beautiful in darkness,
born in the dusk begun
On the wings of storm, in the dark clear night
the land is trembling, bird of prey yells
Neigh of horses savaged by abhorrence
beyond the limits of earboundaries rises the paining wail
The last sabre of beams melting in tortures
day is dying and his mastery's might
Moon has flowered in the lament of sun
and purple dream, so falls the night
Under the forest walls; the knight nocturnal
by vesture shrouds the land into the awe
The nomad by sadness wandering in time
Arcane herald of misfortune
Temple of pain, strong and alone
the kingdom of shadow where no forgiveness is
Temple of pain, strong and alone
emperor of evil dreams, spiritual darkness
He cuts the clouds on a black horse
His sword's splendour; seems to be eternal
Within ourselves everyone bear
the origin of our misery
Temple of pain, strong and alone
the kingdom of shadow where no forgiveness is
Temple of pain, strong and alone

Top Duprees, Have You Heard

The Duprees "Have You Heard" Track 7
From the CD "The Best Of The Duprees"
CopyRight 1990 Collectables Records Corp.
Box 35 Narberth, PA 19072
Have You Heard?
(Ahah ahh...Ahah ahh....Ahah ahh...Ahhh)
Have You Heard
(Wahh...Wahh...Ahh)
Who's kissing her now?
(Doo...Doo...Ooo)
Do you think she's blue?
Did she say we're through?
Has she found someone new?
(Ahhh...Ahhh...Ahhh)
Have you seen
(Ahh...Ahhh...Ahh)
The way she looks now?
(Doo..Doo...Ooo)
Does she act the same?
When she hears my name?
Does she say who's to blame?
My arms are empty
My nights are long and lonely
I miss her so
(Miss Her so)
Each new tomorrow
Can only bring me sorrow
I Love her sooooooo
Have you heard
(Ahhh...Ahhh...Ahh)
Of their wedding day?
(Doo...Doo..Ooo)
Rumors come and go
Still I'd like to know
If it's true, Won't you tell me?
Have you heard?
Have you heard
(Ahhh...Ahhh...Ahhh)
Of their Wedding Day?
(Doo...Doo...Ooo)
Rumors Come and go
Still I'd Like to know
If it's true won't you tell me?