• Season 1
• Episode 1: The Stakeout
• Episode 2: The Robbery
• Episode 3: Male Unbonding
• Episode 4: The Stock Tip
• Season 2
• Episode 1: The Ex-Girlfriend
• Episode 2: The Pony Remark
• Episode 3: The Jacket
• Episode 4: The Phone Message
• Episode 5: The Apartment
• Episode 6: The Statue
• Episode 7: The Revenge
• Episode 8: The Heart Attack
• Episode 9: The Deal
• Episode 10: The Baby Shower
• Episode 11: The Chinese Restaurant
• Episode 12: The Busboy
• Season 3
• Episode 1: The Note
• Episode 2: The Truth
• Episode 3: The Pen
• Episode 4: The Dog
• Episode 5: The Library
• Episode 6: The Parking Garage
• Episode 7: The Cafe
• Episode 8: The Tape
• Episode 9: The Nose Job
• Episode 10: The Stranded
• Episode 11: The Alternate Side
• Episode 12: The Red Dot
• Episode 13: The Subway
• Episode 14: The Pez Dispenser
• Episode 15: The Suicide
• Episode 16: The Fix Up
• Episode 17: The Boyfriend: Part 1
• Episode 18: The Boyfriend: Part 2
• Episode 19: The Limo
• Episode 20: The Good Samaritan
• Episode 21: The Letter
• Episode 22: The Parking Space
• Episode 23: The Keys
• Season 4
• Episode 1: The Trip: Part 1
• Episode 2: The Trip: Part 2
• Episode 3: The Pitch
• Episode 4: The Ticket
• Episode 5: The Wallet
• Episode 6: The Watch
• Episode 7: The Bubble Boy
• Episode 8: The Cheever Letters
• Episode 9: The Opera
• Episode 10: The Virgin
• Episode 11: The Contest
• Episode 12: The Airport
• Episode 13: The Pick
• Episode 14: The Movie
• Episode 15: The Visa
• Episode 16: The Shoes
• Episode 17: The Outing
• Episode 18: The Old Man
• Episode 19: The Implant
• Episode 20: The Junior Mint
• Episode 21: The Smelly Car
• Episode 22: The Handicap Spot
• Episode 23: The Pilot
• Season 5
• Episode 1: The Mango
• Episode 2: The Puffy Shirt
• Episode 3: The Glasses
• Episode 4: The Sniffing Accountant
• Episode 5: The Bris
• Episode 6: The Lip Reader
• Episode 7: The Non-Fat Yogurt
• Episode 8: The Barber
• Episode 9: The Masseuse
• Episode 10: The Cigar Store Indian
• Episode 11: The Conversion
• Episode 12: The Stall
• Episode 13: The Dinner Party
• Episode 14: The Marine Biologist
• Episode 15: The Pie
• Episode 16: The Stand-In
• Episode 17: The Wife
• Episode 18: The Raincoats
• Episode 19: The Fire
• Episode 20: The Hamptons
• Episode 21: The Opposite
• Season 6
• Episode 1: The Chaperone
• Episode 2: The Big Salad
• Episode 3: The Pledge Drive
• Episode 4: The Chinese Woman
• Episode 5: The Couch
• Episode 6: The Gymnast
• Episode 7: The Soup
• Episode 8: The Mom and Pop Store
• Episode 9: The Secretary
• Episode 10: The Race
• Episode 11: The Switch
• Episode 12: The Label Maker
• Episode 13: The Scofflaw
• Episode 14: Highlights of a Hundred
• Episode 15: The Beard
• Episode 16: The Kiss Hello
• Episode 17: The Doorman
• Episode 18: The Jimmy
• Episode 19: The Doodle
• Episode 20: The Fusilli Jerry
• Episode 21: The Diplomat's Club
• Episode 22: The Face Painter
• Episode 23: The Understudy
• Season 7
• Episode 1: The Engagement
• Episode 2: The Postponement
• Episode 3: The Maestro
• Episode 4: The Wink
• Episode 5: The Hot Tub
• Episode 6: The Soup Nazi
• Episode 7: The Secret Code
• Episode 8: The Pool Guy
• Episode 9: The Sponge
• Episode 10: The Gum
• Episode 11: The Rye
• Episode 12: The Caddy
• Episode 13: The Seven
• Episode 14: The Cadillac
• Episode 15: The Shower Head
• Episode 16: The Doll
• Episode 17: The Friars Club
• Episode 18: The Wig Master
• Episode 19: The Calzone
• Episode 20: The Bottle Deposit
• Episode 21: The Wait Out
• Episode 22: The Invitations
• Season 8
• Episode 1: The Foundation
• Episode 2: The Soul Mate
• Episode 3: The Bizarro Jerry
• Episode 4: The Little Kicks
• Episode 5: The Package
• Episode 6: The Fatigues
• Episode 7: The Checks
• Episode 8: The Chicken Roaster
• Episode 9: The Abstinence
• Episode 10: The Andrea Doria
• Episode 11: The Little Jerry
• Episode 12: The Money
• Episode 13: The Comeback
• Episode 14: The Van Buren Boys
• Episode 15: The Susie
• Episode 16: The Pothole
• Episode 17: The English Patient
• Episode 18: The Nap
• Episode 19: The Yada Yada
• Episode 20: The Millennium
• Episode 21: The Muffin Tops
• Episode 22: The Summer of George
• Season 9
• Episode 1: The Butter Shave
• Episode 2: The Voice
• Episode 3: The Serenity Now
• Episode 4: The Blood
• Episode 5: The Junk Mail
• Episode 6: The Merv Griffin Show
• Episode 7: The Slicer
• Episode 8: The Betrayal
• Episode 9: The Apology
• Episode 10: The Strike
• Episode 11: The Dealership
• Episode 12: The Reverse Peephole
• Episode 13: The Cartoon
• Episode 14: The Strongbox
• Episode 15: The Wizard
• Episode 16: The Burning
• Episode 17: The Bookstore
• Episode 18: The Frogger
• Episode 19: The Maid
• Episode 20: The Puerto Rican Day
• Episode 21: The Chronicle
• Episode 22: The Finale

Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld stars in this television comedy series as himself, a comedian. The premise of this sitcom is Jerry and his friends going through everyday life, discussing various quirky situations that we can all relate to (especially if we live in New York). The eccentric personalities of the offbeat characters who make up Jerry's social circle contribute to the fun.

Cast

• Jerry Seinfeld
• Julia Louis-Dreyfus
• Jason Alexander
• Ruth Cohen
• Michael Richards
• Wayne Knight
• Larry David
• Jerry Stiller
• Estelle Harris
• Heidi Swedberg
• Lee Bear
• Barney Martin
• Liz Sheridan
• John O'Hurley
• Patrick Warburton
• Richard Herd

• Season 1
• Episode 2: The Stakeout
  George Costanza: She calls me up at my office, she says, "We have to talk."::Jerry: Uh, the four wor...
• Episode 3: The Robbery
  Elaine: Jerry, come on, you're doing okay now. You should at least take a look at this place. You sh...
• Episode 4: Male Unbonding
  Jerry Seinfeld: Should I suffer the rest of my life because I like to play Ping-Pong?...
• Episode 5: The Stock Tip
  Jerry Seinfeld: [opening lines] Went to dinner the other night, check came at the end of the meal. N...
• Season 2
• Episode 1: The Ex-Girlfriend
  Marlene: I'm sorry Jerry, I just can't be with someone if I don't respect what they do.::Jerry: You'...
• Episode 2: The Pony Remark
  Cosmo Kramer: What, you don't think I can, huh?::Jerry Seinfeld: Oh, no, it's not that I don't think...
• Episode 3: The Busboy
  Jerry Seinfeld: Sometimes you go to a restaurant, they put the check in a little book. What is this,...
• Episode 4: The Baby Shower
  Christine Dunford figures twice into George's plot line - once as a pregnant ex-girlfriend who threw...
• Episode 5: The Jacket
  Jerry Seinfeld: What are we suppose to tell him?::George Costanza: We'll tell him we're frightened a...
• Episode 6: The Chinese Restaurant
  Elaine: [waiting in restaurant] You know, it's not fair that people are selected first come, first s...
• Episode 7: The Phone Message
  Carol: Would you like to come upstairs for some coffee?::George Costanza: no thanks. I can't drink c...
• Episode 8: The Apartment
  Jerry Seinfeld: People don't turn down money. This is what separates us from animals....
• Episode 10: The Statue
  Rava: There's Ray, late as usual....
• Episode 11: The Heart Attack
  Jerry: [Watching two paramedics fighting] All this over a Chuckle.::Cosmo Kramer: What's a Chuckle?:...
• Episode 12: The Revenge
  'Larry David (I)' (qv) was the original voice of Newman, but 'Wayne Knight (I)' (qv) overdubbed the ...
• Episode 13: The Deal
  Jerry: [Discussing The Deal with Elaine] Because this... [gesturing between them] is very good.::Ela...
• Season 3
• Episode 1: The Note
  'Joshua Liebling' (qv), who plays Billy, is Seinfeld's real-life nephew....
• Episode 2: The Truth
  George Costanza: I've driven women to lesbianism before but never to a mental institution....
• Episode 3: The Pen
  Helen Seinfeld: You're going underwater?::Jerry Seinfeld: Yes. Generally that's where scuba diving i...
• Episode 4: The Dog
  'Joseph Maher' (qv) plays a character named Gavin Polone. The real 'Gavin Polone' (qv) is 'Larry Dav...
• Episode 5: The Library
  Elaine: Boys are sick.::Jerry: Well what do girls do?::Elaine: Nothing. We just tease someone until ...
• Episode 6: The Parking Garage
  Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer spend the episode trying to find their lost car in a parking garag...
• Episode 7: The Cafe
  George Costanza: You should've seen the look on her face. It was the same look my father gave me whe...
• Episode 8: The Tape
  Jerry Seinfeld: Doesn't the fat fetish conflict with the minimalism?...
• Episode 9: The Nose Job
  Jerry: I'll tell you, the sex - I was like an animal. I mean, it was just completely uninhibited.::G...
• Episode 10: The Stranded
  Gwen: I have lost my fiance, the poor baby!::Elaine Benes: [Australian accent] Maybe the dingo ate y...
• Episode 11: The Alternate Side
  Rental Car Agent: Wouldf you like to purchase the renter's insurance?::Jerry: Yeah, you better give ...
• Episode 12: The Red Dot
  Evie: Cashmere!...
• Episode 13: The Subway
  Jerry: You realize of course you're naked?::Naked Man: Naked, dressed, I don't see any difference.::...
• Episode 14: The Pez Dispenser
  George Louis Costanza: Let me tell you something. A man without hand is not a man. I've got so much ...
• Episode 15: The Suicide
  Gina: [Gina's boyfriend Martin is in a coma] Kiss me right in front of him.::Jerry: I can't. What if...
• Episode 16: The Fix Up
  George is convinced he is fated never to have a relationship with an attractive, interesting woman. ...
• Episode 17: The Boyfriend: Part 1
  When Jerry demonstrates the path of the "Magic Loogie" on Newman, it is a parody of the "Magic Bulle...
• Episode 18: The Boyfriend: Part 2
  George Costanza: Magellan? You like Magellan?::Jerry Seinfeld: Oh yeah, my favorite explorer. Around...
• Episode 19: The Limo
  George Costanza: [pretending to be a white supremacist to get a free limo ride] Ahhh, ASTROTURF! You...
• Episode 20: The Good Samaritan
  Kramer having seizures every time he hears 'Mary Hart (I)' (qv)'s voice is based on an actual case r...
• Episode 21: The Letter
  Kramer mentions that Jerry and Elaine were like Abe Lincoln and Mary Todd on "The Letter" episode. O...
• Episode 22: The Parking Space
  Mike Moffit: Man, that Michael Jordan is so phony....
• Episode 23: The Keys
  After 'Candice Bergen' (qv) and the set of _"Murphy Brown" (1988)_ (qv) made a guest appearance on t...
• Season 4
• Episode 1: The Trip: Part 1
  'Julia Louis-Dreyfus' (qv) does not appear in this episode as she was on maternity leave....
• Episode 2: The Trip: Part 2
  'Julia Louis-Dreyfus' (qv) does not appear in this episode as she was on maternity leave....
• Episode 3: The Pitch
  Jerry Seinfeld: [after Newman leaves with Kramer's radar detector] Does that thing work?::Cosmo Kram...
• Episode 4: The Ticket
  This episode was originally broadcast as a one hour special along with the previous episode, "The Pi...
• Episode 5: The Wallet
  Jerry Seinfeld: Don't you hate the "to be continued" 's on TV? It's horrible when you sense the "to ...
• Episode 6: The Watch
  Realizing that his uncle Leo now owns the watch he threw away, Jerry tries to buy it back from him. ...
• Episode 7: The Bubble Boy
  Voice and Arm of Donald Sanger, the Bubble Boy: The Moors.::George Costanza: I'm sorry the answer we...
• Episode 8: The Cheever Letters
  Elaine's final punchline ("...and they're all laid out for me") received such a loud and long respon...
• Episode 9: The Opera
  Crazy Joe Davola was named after 'Joe Davola' (qv), a friend of Larry David's....
• Episode 10: The Virgin
  Kramer ('Michael Richards (I)' (qv) also appeared on _"Mad About You" (1992) {The Apartment (#1.8)}_...
• Episode 11: The Contest
  Jerry Seinfeld: But... are you still Master of your domain?::Elaine Benes: I'm queen of the castle....
• Episode 12: The Airport
  Although Jerry and Elaine are flying a fictional airline, the plane exteriors shown in the episode b...
• Episode 13: The Pick
  Jerry Seinfeld: What are you doing?::Elaine Benes: Date with Fred.::Jerry Seinfeld: The religious gu...
• Episode 14: The Movie
  Elaine Benes: Can I have a medium diet coke?::Concessionaire: Do you want the medium size or the mid...
• Episode 15: The Visa
  Jerry: What happened?::Cosmo Kramer: Well, you know, we were playing a game and I was pitching, and ...
• Episode 16: The Shoes
  Jerry Seinfeld: Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risk...
• Episode 17: The Outing
  [repeated line]::Jerry Seinfeld: [on homosexuality] Not that there's anything wrong with that!...
• Episode 18: The Old Man
  George Costanza: Let me ask you something. What do you do for a living, Newman?::Newman: I'm a Unite...
• Episode 19: The Implant
  Elaine Marie Benes: You've dated women with nose jobs before, so what's the big deal?::Jerry Seinfel...
• Episode 20: The Junior Mint
  Cosmo Kramer: Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint, it's delicious.:...
• Episode 21: The Smelly Car
  After dinner, Jerry gets his car back from the valet. He and Elaine get in the car and realize that ...
• Episode 22: The Handicap Spot
  Ray: [trying to sell a wheelchair] This is our best model, the Cougar 9000. It's the Rolls-Royce of ...
• Episode 23: The Pilot
  When the actors audition for roles on "Jerry", the lines they read for the characters of Jerry, Elai...
• Season 5
• Episode 1: The Mango
  Jerry gets a shocking revelation when Elaine reveals that she faked every orgasm while they were dat...
• Episode 2: The Puffy Shirt
  Estelle Costanza: Georgie, would you like some Jello?::Frank Costanza: Why do you put the bananas in...
• Episode 3: The Glasses
  Elaine Benes: [about to be injected with a rabies shot] It's not going to hurt a lot, is it?::Doctor...
• Episode 4: The Sniffing Accountant
  George Costanza: Two cups in the front, two loops in the back... how do they do it?...
• Episode 5: The Bris
  Cosmo Kramer: Don't even question my instincts, because my instincts are honed. Look at that::[Krame...
• Episode 6: The Lip Reader
  'Monica Seles' (qv) was approached to appear in the final scene where Kramer runs into her on the te...
• Episode 7: The Non-Fat Yogurt
  Maryedith: Well I hope you're happy.::Jerry Seinfeld: What?::Maryedith: Now every word out of my son...
• Episode 8: The Barber
  Jerry regrets giving his longtime barber the heave-ho after he gets a ridiculous-looking haircut. Ge...
• Episode 9: The Masseuse
  In the episode Elaine is dating Joel Rifkin who also shares the same name of a serial killer in New ...
• Episode 10: The Cigar Store Indian
  Jerry is deemed a racist when he purchases a Native American statue for Elaine. Kramer tries to get ...
• Episode 11: The Conversion
  Estelle Costanza: Latvian Orthodox? Why are you doing this?::George Costanza: For a woman.::Frank Co...
• Episode 12: The Stall
  Cosmo Kramer: Jerry, that voice is tattooed on my brain. It's her! I'm telling you it's her.::Jerry ...
• Episode 13: The Dinner Party
  Jerry Seinfeld: Look to the Cookie Elaine, look to the Cookie....
• Episode 14: The Marine Biologist
  [last lines]::George: The sea was angry that day, my friends - like an old man trying to send back s...
• Episode 15: The Pie
  George Costanza: Is that the time? I gotta get downtown and buy that suit. The store opens in twenty...
• Episode 16: The Stand-In
  Jerry visits a friend in hospital after he hears the guy needs cheering up. No matter how hard he tr...
• Episode 17: The Wife
  Grandpa: [Kramer's girlfriend Anna, a black woman, has brought Kramer to meet her grandfather, but K...
• Episode 18: The Raincoats
  In this two-part episode, Jerry's parents are visiting before leaving for France. Jerry has a hard t...
• Episode 19: The Fire
  Fireman: How do you live with yourself?::George Costanza: It's not easy....
• Episode 20: The Hamptons
  Jerry, George Costanza: Elaine!::Jerry: Do women know about shrinkage?::Elaine: What do you mean lik...
• Episode 21: The Opposite
  Jerry and George discuss what is essentially the premise of this episode way back in a scene from th...
• Season 6
• Episode 1: The Chaperone
  Jerry connects with a Miss America pageant contestant, Miss Rhode Island, at a Yankees game and asks...
• Episode 2: The Big Salad
  (#6.2), Elaine gives her phone number as "KL5-2390", and Jerry protests that that's actually his num...
• Episode 3: The Pledge Drive
  Elaine: Um, what does Nana sound like?::Jerry: Like a grandmother, why?::Elaine: Well...::Jerry: Oh,...
• Episode 4: The Chinese Woman
  George Costanza: [a message on Jerry's answering machine] Hi, this is George. I've got nothing to sa...
• Episode 5: The Couch
  Jerry Seinfeld: And what is his stand on abortion?::Elaine Marie Benes: What?::Jerry Seinfeld: What ...
• Episode 6: The Gymnast
  Jerry Seinfeld: So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in ...
• Episode 7: The Soup
  [Jerry and George are at Monk's Cafe]::Jerry Seinfeld: Oh no, it's Kenny Bania.::George Costanza: Wh...
• Episode 8: The Mom and Pop Store
  Kramer decides to help out a small mom and pop shoe repair shop by sending business their way. As pa...
• Episode 9: The Secretary
  Jerry Seinfeld: About George's new job: It's amazing! You're getting a secretary! Last week you were...
• Episode 10: The Race
  George Costanza: You, uh, wanted to see me, Mr. Steinbrenner?::George Steinbrenner: Yes George, I di...
• Episode 11: The Switch
  Jerry: So what happened with Kramer's mother?::George Costanza: It's all worked out. Nina and I will...
• Episode 12: The Label Maker
  George Costanza: [referring to Kramer and Newman's Risk game] What's that?::Jerry: Oh, it's Risk, it...
• Episode 13: The Scofflaw
  The title refers to a person who breaks laws that are not basically criminal in nature such as parki...
• Episode 14: Highlights of a Hundred
  For the series' 100th episode, Jerry Seinfeld hosts a one hour retrospective with clips from previou...
• Episode 15: The Beard
  Cosmo Kramer: Hey.::George Costanza: You fixed me up with a bald woman!::Cosmo Kramer: [flinches]::C...
• Episode 16: The Kiss Hello
  Kramer tries to create a Utopian society when he puts up pictures of all the residents of his and Je...
• Episode 17: The Doorman
  German Tourist: [to Kramer] Stop that man! It's him!...
• Episode 18: The Jimmy
  Cosmo Kramer: [talking about Dr. Whatley's dentistry practice in a slurred voice] He's got a new pol...
• Episode 19: The Doodle
  Jerry is upset when he realizes he has fleas in his apartment. He's even more upset when he finds th...
• Episode 20: The Fusilli Jerry
  George Costanza: [about mechanics] Well of course they're trying to screw you! What do you think? Th...
• Episode 21: The Diplomat's Club
  Despite knowing where he worked, how he got the bit part on the show and that he quit his job to wor...
• Episode 22: The Face Painter
  'Mark DeCarlo' (qv) plays a character named Alec Berg. 'Alec Berg (I)' (qv) is the name of one of th...
• Episode 23: The Understudy
  J. Peterman: Then, in the distance, I heard the bulls. I began running as fast as I could. Fortunate...
• Season 7
• Episode 1: The Engagement
  In Season 6, Episode 21 we learn that Newman took over his mail route from "Son of Sam" (David Berko...
• Episode 2: The Postponement
  Jerry: So, you're nothing but a stoolie. Admit it.::Cosmo Kramer: Hey, don't do the crime if you can...
• Episode 3: The Maestro
  Cosmo Kramer: Well you know they don't allow outside drinks in the movie theater. So I had to put it...
• Episode 4: The Wink
  George Steinbrenner's birthday was July 4, though there are no references to the holiday taking plac...
• Episode 5: The Hot Tub
  Elaine Benes: [Thinking to herself while she can hear Jerry saying, "He's depending on you" and Jean...
• Episode 6: The Soup Nazi
  George Costanza: [Soup Nazi gives him a look] Medium turkey chili. [instantly moves to the cashier]:...
• Episode 7: The Secret Code
  We find out that the J. in J. Petermen's name stands for Jacopo. We also find out he grew up in Cost...
• Episode 8: The Pool Guy
  George Costanza: Ah you have no idea of the magnitude of this thing. If she is allowed to infiltrate...
• Episode 9: The Sponge
  [Kramer is cornered in an alley for not wearing the red ribbon at the AIDS walk]::Bob: So, what's it...
• Episode 10: The Gum
  George Costanza: The Jon Voight Car is no more....
• Episode 11: The Rye
  Frank Costanza: Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes wi...
• Episode 12: The Caddy
  Jackie Chiles: So you're driving in the car, you're with your friend, minding your own business?::Co...
• Episode 13: The Seven
  Jerry Seinfeld: "Seven"? Yeah, I guess I can see it: seven periods of school, seven beatings a day. ...
• Episode 14: The Cadillac
  Susan Biddle Ross: Hey! What're you watching? [looks at TV] Only You? That's another Marisa Tomei mo...
• Episode 15: The Shower Head
  [Morty learns "The Tonight Show" is taped in the afternoon and aired at night]::Morty Seinfeld: How ...
• Episode 16: The Doll
  Jerry Seinfeld: It's because of her that bottle got broke that I was going to give to Charles Grodin...
• Episode 17: The Friars Club
  Per the title, the Friar's Club is a private club whose membership role is mainly composed mostly of...
• Episode 18: The Wig Master
  George Costanza: Excuse me, I think I made a big mistake. I'd like my deposit back, please.::Jiffy P...
• Episode 19: The Calzone
  Cosmo Kramer: [hunched over a massive pile of change] Hey buddy.::Jerry: What the hell is all this?:...
• Episode 20: The Bottle Deposit
  Jerry Seinfeld: [as auto mechanic approaches] Hey, Tony.::Tony: Thanks for coming in Jerry.::Jerry S...
• Episode 21: The Wait Out
  George Costanza: Scalping? Isn't that illegal?::Cosmo Kramer: Yep....
• Episode 22: The Invitations
  Doctor: I'm sorry, she's gone.::George Costanza: What's that?::Doctor: She expired.::George Costanza...
• Season 8
• Episode 1: The Foundation
  George Costanza: What were you saying to the Rosses over there anyway?::Jerry Seinfeld: Oh man, I do...
• Episode 2: The Soul Mate
  At the end of this episode is dedication to 'Victor Wayne Harris' (qv) the assistant prop manager fo...
• Episode 3: The Bizarro Jerry
  The hands of actor 'James Rekart' (qv) are the "Manhands" in this episode. James Rekart was personal...
• Episode 4: The Little Kicks
  Jerry: I don't care about Brody. I was up on 96th Street today, there was a kid couldn't have been m...
• Episode 5: The Package
  The season-eight episode "The Package", in which Newman grills Jerry about mail fraud, is a parody o...
• Episode 6: The Fatigues
  Elaine: That's good work guys, that oughta do it for today.::Eddie Sherman: Wait! You didn't ask me ...
• Episode 7: The Checks
  Jerry Seinfeld: [about Kramer's Japanese house guests] This has international incident written all o...
• Episode 8: The Chicken Roaster
  Jerry Seinfeld: Hold it, Newman, you wouldn't eat broccoli if it was deep fried in chocolate sauce.:...
• Episode 9: The Abstinence
  Cosmo Kramer: They're trying to screw with your head.::Jerry Seinfeld: Now why would a junior high s...
• Episode 10: The Andrea Doria
  George Costanza: Ahoy! Mr. Eldridge. I understand you were on the Andrea Doria.::Clarence: Yes, it w...
• Episode 11: The Little Jerry
  Cosmo Kramer: I bought a chicken.::George Costanza: Allow me. Why?::Cosmo Kramer: Cage-free, farm fr...
• Episode 12: The Money
  According to 'Sarah Silverman' (qv), 'Michael Richards (I)' (qv) screamed at her because she kept bl...
• Episode 13: The Comeback
  George gets insulted by a co-worker named Reilly during a business meeting with the line "Hey George...
• Episode 14: The Van Buren Boys
  Leader: [George, trying to prove he was a Van Buren Boy, makes several hand gestures in an attempt t...
• Episode 15: The Susie
  Cosmo Kramer: How d'ya like the tuxedo. It's a rental but I've had it for fifteen years....
• Episode 16: The Pothole
  Jerry accidentally knocks his girlfriends toothbrush into her toilet. He refuses to tell her and won...
• Episode 17: The English Patient
  [Elaine and Peterman are watching "The English Patient". Elaine is about to freak out of boredom]::E...
• Episode 18: The Nap
  George needs to find a way to have a nap at work. His glass wall doesn't seem to make that possible ...
• Episode 19: The Yada Yada
  Beth: [at wedding making fun of a dentist sitting in front of them] Hey, what do you call a doctor w...
• Episode 20: The Millennium
  George Costanza: To think I'd fail at failing.::Jerry Seinfeld: Oh come on.::George Costanza: I can'...
• Episode 21: The Muffin Tops
  Alex: Is that a Mexican hairless? I *love* thoooose! O. Hairless. This is where it's at. It's so muc...
• Episode 22: The Summer of George
  With three months' severance pay from the Yankees, George decides that he's going to have a great su...
• Season 9
• Episode 1: The Butter Shave
  Kramer discovers a new use for butter by applying it to his face while he shaves, but he accidentall...
• Episode 2: The Voice
  Cosmo Kramer: They're redoing the Cloud Club.::Jerry: Oh, that restaurant on top of the Chrysler bui...
• Episode 3: The Serenity Now
  Jerry: [Sarcastically] Kramer, I love you.::Cosmo Kramer: [Without missing a beat] I love you too, b...
• Episode 4: The Blood
  Jerry starts gaining weight and his parents hire Izzy Mandelbaum (see episode "The English Patient")...
• Episode 5: The Junk Mail
  'Wilford Brimley' (qv)'s guest appearance as Post-Master General of the United States was an homage ...
• Episode 6: The Merv Griffin Show
  Elaine Benes: Kramer, what is wrong with you?::Cosmo Kramer: What do you mean?::Elaine Benes: Well, ...
• Episode 7: The Slicer
  Cosmo Kramer: [Kramer cuts meat wearing a white coat] This slicer is indomitable.::Jerry: Where did ...
• Episode 8: The Betrayal
  Elaine Benes: Your son is marrying my friend, Sue Ellen Mischke -::Usher: You're not going to the we...
• Episode 9: The Apology
  Melissa: Would you look at that?::Jerry Seinfeld: I can't, I can't look anymore, I've seen too much...
• Episode 10: The Strike
  [about a free sub card]::Elaine: I've eaten 23 bad subs, I just need 1 more! It's like a long, bad m...
• Episode 11: The Dealership
  Jerry goes to buy a new car from David Puddy, who's been promoted to the sales floor. But after Elai...
• Episode 12: The Reverse Peephole
  [repeated line]::Jerry Seinfeld: It's not a purse! It's European!...
• Episode 13: The Cartoon
  The Sally Weaver storyline in this episode was inspired after Kathy Griffin ridiculed Jerry Seinfeld...
• Episode 14: The Strongbox
  George Costanza: [Elaine thinks her boyfriend is a super hero] Who is this? Blue Arrow?::Elaine Bene...
• Episode 15: The Wizard
  George Costanza: [folding the newspaper he was reading] When are they gonna learn that any news abou...
• Episode 16: The Burning
  Elaine: Here's one. I borrowed Puddy's car and all the presets on his radio were Christian rock stat...
• Episode 17: The Bookstore
  While at Brentano's, George is forced to buy an expensive art book after taking it into the bathroom...
• Episode 18: The Frogger
  Slippery Pete: Well, I need a battery for this kind of a job. Can I at least steal a battery?::Georg...
• Episode 19: The Maid
  Cindy: [in reference to slacking off on her duties] Well, I made the bed.::Jerry Seinfeld: Yes, but ...
• Episode 20: The Puerto Rican Day
  [Kramer accidentally lights the Puerto Rican flag on fire and tries to stomp it out]::Man: [yells] H...
• Episode 21: The Chronicle
  This episode aired immediately before the series finale. An outtake of the cast dancing between take...
• Episode 22: The Finale
  Jackie Chiles: [about Sidra's breasts] Oh, and by the way, they're real and they're spectacular!...