Conservative in the City

Ever since Al Gore’s scare piece “An Inconvenient Truth”, every country on this planet has been  bombarded like never befoer by various environmental groups, pushing for more and more “green” policies.  Whether it be lowering carbon emissions, building wind farms, or subsidizing biofuels, governments have been pressured to force legislate this new “green” way of life onto its citizens.

The entire global warming climate change movement is a scam.  Yes, I said it, a scam.  Your first clue should have been the name change I was forced to make after I originally called it global warming, I had forgotten that it’s now global climate change (or GCC), but more on that later.  Given the fact that it is a scam, I am forced to admit that it is an amazingly clever and ingenious one.

A good question to ask first is probably “why bother running the scam in the first place?”.  This is an excellent question and let me make clear that I’m sure initially, a lot of the people who first proposed the Global Climate Change theory truly thought that the Earth was in peril.  They honestly had the best interests of everyone at heart.  However, others soon began to pick up on this movement and start twisting it as a means to their own ends.

It’s not surprising that GCC has gathered such a following.  As David Hannum (not P.T. Barnum) said, “there’s a sucker born every minute“.  Which means there’s roughly 525,950 suckers born each year.  Although it only takes a minority of easily panicked and very loud suckers to create a global climate change scam.

For example, these guys;

EVEN if we turn to clean energy to reduce carbon emissions, the planet might carry on warming anyway due to the heat released into the environment by our ever-increasing consumption of energy.

As any good protester knows, one needs something to protest AGAINST, or you’ll soon find yourself jobless, and it’s hard to get a job when your only skill involves holding a sign and chanting some cute limerick.  So here the greenies are making sure they don’t follow the same path Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson did by helping elect Barack Obama, thus dispelling the myth of a racist country and hurting their own business opportunities (you didn’t think Jackon’s tears at the acceptance speech were tears of joy did you??).

Basically, now that the Democrats control the House, the Senate, and the Presidency, some kind of pro-green legislature is likely to pass.  Thus, leaving the green-movement, well, movementless.  However, don’t worry, they have a plan…

But things may not go according to plan. The energy we generate and consume ultimately ends up being dissipated into the environment as heat. This input is relatively small today but might become significant in the next century, Cowern and Ahn suggest.

Their calculations show that if global energy use increases at about 1 per cent per year – slower than in the recent past – then by 2100, the heat dissipated could become significant enough to cancel out the benefits of cuts in emissions (www.arxiv.org/abs/0811.0476).

Being aware of this potential problem should inform what types of clean energy we adopt, say the pair. Nuclear power has the most harmful effect in that it releases energy that is otherwise locked up. Solar power is better as it exploits energy that the Earth is absorbing anyway, though Cowern and Ahn point out that solar cells tend to absorb more energy from the sun’s rays than Earth’s surface does, some of which ends up warming the local environment. One way round this could be to develop solar cells which absorb only the most energetic frequencies in the sun’s rays. This could be done using “wide band gap” photovoltaic cells, containing layers that reflect low-frequency rays back. In the meantime, the cleanest energy options are wind and tidal power, say the researchers, as these tap into energy flows already present on Earth without significantly affecting them.

Basically, simply USING energy now becomes a cause of global warming.  Realizing that nuclear energy is a viable alternative (and actually would reduce carbon emissions), these two clowns had to come up with some way to keep the green movement alive. I always like to make a joke that liberals will only be happy when we’re all living in tree houses and using leaves for toilet paper, but now I’m finding that joke not so funny as it appears to contain more truth than hyperbole.

Now, if you were to be a bit on the pessimistic or gullible side, I might be able to convince you that this view could actually be construed to advocate abortion…or even better, eugenics.  Afterall, if the mere act of EXISTING contributes to global warming, so why not start eliminating some of the contributing factors, starting with any conservatives dissenters of course. Ha! Farfetched you say?  Ever been in a small room with a decent amount of people? Ever wonder why it is the room seems to heat up so fast?  Here’s a hint, no one touched the thermostat.  The human body runs at around 98 degrees and pretty much acts like a radiator.  Throw a bunch of those in a room and you’re cranking out enough BTU’s to turn a dorm room into a sauna.

To get back on my original point, GCC is a scam.  However, most scams continue on just fine until it is uncovered to be as such and its profitability immediately ends.  I point you to the renaming of global warming crisis to the new global climate change crisis.  The benefit that this new name has is that it’s ambiguous.  Now, whether tempertures increase or decrease, it all falls under the blanket of “Global Climate Change”.  You won’t hear about a decrease in the number of hurricanes this year, or the record-low temperatures, but you will hear about the first flood in a particular region in the last 50 years.  While the hurricanes and temperatures get ignored, the flood is touted as “further evidence for global climate change”.

All this considered, the GCC scam is amazing.  Not only have its proponents convinced governments across the globe that their theory is “fact”, but at the same time, they’ve made themselves impossible to disprove.  How is that possible you ask?  Simple.  Let’s say in 10 years Al Gore’s prediction of the ocean levels rising and polar ice caps melting turn out to be true.  Well I guess ole’ Al was right all along, and we’ll all be eating crow in our new floating cities a-la Waterworld.  However, if the ice caps don’t melt, and ocean levels don’t rise, instead of being proven as liars and hoaxes, GCC supporters will simply say “Hey! Look at what we did! We saved the planet!  There’s no more global warming, so all our initiatives, Kyoto protocols, Priuses, and green-related subisidies worked!!”.  The sad thing is, the liberal media will cover for them and go along with it.