A Short Film About John Bolton (2003)

Actors

• John Bolton (actor)
• Marcus Brigstocke (actor)
• Martin Cordier (actor)
• Steve Jones (actor)
• Steve Jones (actor)
• John O'Mahony (actor)
• Jonathan Ross (actor)
• Carolyn Backhouse (actress)
• Judith Clute (actress)
• Katie Lawrie (actress)
• Betti Marenko (actress)
• Tree Petts (actress)
• Jayne Setchfield (actress)
• Denise Worme (actress)
• Adam Bohling (producer)

Genres

• Short

Spice World (1997)

Actors

• Devon Anderson (actor)
• Michael Barrymore (actor)
• Richard Briers (actor)
• Hugh Cecil (actor)
• Simon Chandler (actor)
• Elvis Costello (actor)
• Alan Cumming (actor)
• The Dream Boys (actor)
• Simon Ellis (actor)
• David Fahm (actor)
• Jason Flemyng (actor)
• Neil Fox (actor)
• Stephen Fry (actor)
• Andy Gangadeen (actor)
• Kevin Allen (actor)

Genres

• Comedy
• Family
• Music

Taglines:

They perform for royalty and entertain millions the world over. But now, they're making a movie.
You say you want a revolution?
They Don't Just Sing!
Five girls. Five days. One rocking world!

Quotes:

Judge: Emma, Victoria, Melvin C., Melvin B., Geri. You've been charged with releasing a single that is by no means as kicking as your previous records. Nor does it have such a dirty phat bass line. You are sentenced to having your next record enter the charts at 179 and having it fall completely out the following week.::[bangs the gavel]::Judge: Call Hootie and the Blowfish!

Kevin McMaxford: Something's happening to me. What is it?::Brian: You're smiling, sir.

Scary Spice: Listen, you! It's up to us whether we turn up to this gig or not tomorrow, alright?::Clifford: Okay, stay at home! *That's* fine!::Scary Spice: Fine!::Ginger Spice: Fine!::Sporty: What about the fans? We can't let them down!::Deborah: He didn't mean that!::Clifford: Oh, didn't I?::Baby: Can we please stop arguing?::Posh: When you know exactly what is supposed to be happening, would somebody please let me know? [exits angrily]::Scary Spice: Oh, great, Clifford. Now look what you've gone and done!::Clifford: Well, that's just too bad!::Scary Spice: Yeah, well, it is too bad, 'cause, you know what? I'm going home now. See ya! [exits angrily]::Clifford: Bye!::Baby: Can we just *stop* all this? It's doing my head in! [exits]::Sporty: Emma! [glares at Clifford and then follows Emma]::Ginger Spice: I hope you know what you're doing! 'Cause if you're looking for a fight, you're gonna lose! [exits]::Clifford: [to Deborah] What do you think? No, I don't want to know what you think... what do you think?::Deborah: I think you definitely, definitely lost.::Clifford: I think-I think I may have just started the break up of the spice girls! [moans/shouts in dispair] AHHHHHHH!

Baby: In my bed, I've got two teddies, I've got a rabbit, I've got two dollies, and one Susan, she's got a bad eye, [they cut to other peoples' conversations then back to Emma, still talking] and then I've got a green giraffe which I won at a fair, he was the only one left, I felt *really* sorry for him, [cuts back and forth, again] then there's Buzz, Woody, the alien, and then I've got a fluffy pink hot water bottle. So, there's just not enough room for you, mate! [pats him on the shoulder which is sweaty and then looks a the sweat that's now on her hand]... ugh!

Baby: We've got to see Nicola in the morning. The baby's overdue.::Clifford: Babies are allowed to be overdue - you're not.

Piers Cuthbertson-Smyth: [singing while inquiring of three getting in on one ticket] Tonight is the night when three become one.

Dennis: Hey man, I love these girls, and I'd do anything for them, but I won't do that.

Clifford: Look at this! Front page news, again. Suppose the whole lot of you'd been drowned.::Ginger Spice: Well, we weren't though, were we?::Posh: Speak for yourself.::Clifford: What did you think you were doing? Going off like that?::Scary Spice: We were just having fun!::Clifford: What?::Baby: Fun! You know, like ha-ha-ha-ha-HA!::Sporty: Look, Clifford, we're old enough to take responsibility for our own lives, d'you know what I mean?::Clifford: You don't have a life, you have a schedule! You are part of a well-oiled, global machine! There are people everywhere working their butts off for you! People like Deborah, here.::Deborah: Oh, can we leave my butt out of this, please?::Ginger Spice: Oh, just don't be so uptight, Clifford.::Clifford: Uptight? UPTIGHT? You've got a live gig here tomorrow. It's my job to see that you turn up. My *bum* is on the line, here!::Posh: Can you please leave *butts* and *bums* out of this, for one minute?::Sporty: Clifford, some things are more important than gigs, you know.::Clifford: Like what?::Ginger Spice: Like self respect and our freedom, for a start!::Baby: Yeah, and friendship!::Clifford: What are you saying? You-you don't want to turn up here, tomorrow night?::Ginger Spice: [defiantly] Well, maybe we *dont*!::Baby: What'd you say that for?::Ginger Spice: I don't know, I just said it.

The Chief: When the rabbit of chaos is pursued by the ferret of disorder through the fields of anarchy, it is time to hang your pants on the hook of darkness. Whether they're clean or not.

Posh: It's always the same. I never know what to wear.::Sporty: It must be so hard for you, Victoria. I mean, having to decide whether to wear the little Gucci dress, the little Gucci dress, or... the little Gucci dress!::Posh: Exactly.::Baby: I know, why don't you wear the little Gucci dress?::Posh: Good idea. Thanks, Em.

The Tall Guy (1989)

Actors

• Bob Appleby (actor)
• Rowan Atkinson (actor)
• Charles Augins (actor)
• Tim Barlow (actor)
• Peter Barry (actor)
• Simon Bell (actor)
• Melvyn Bragg (actor)
• Peter Brewis (actor)
• Fred Bryant (actor)
• Richard Curtis (actor)
• Mike De Souter (actor)
• Angus Deayton (actor)
• Robin Driscoll (actor)
• Michael Fitzgerald (actor)
• Wayne Anthoney (actor)

Genres

• Comedy
• Romance

Quotes:

[Outside her flat]::Kate: Don't be fooled by the grim exterior. It's a good deal grimmer inside.

Dexter: All these weeks I've been coming here, I've been wanting to ask you something. What I really want to know is... er, what's your name?::Kate: Kate... Lemmon. Horrid name!::Dexter: No, no, not at all. Could have been worse. Could have been called Hitler, Tampon, or something.

Dexter: God take my testicles and fry them up with bacon!

Dexter: How was your day?::Kate: Not great. A nurses's day is always pretty grisly. A woman I was with gave birth to a baby in a lift.::Dexter: Well, that was okay, er?::Kate: It would have been, but her husband slipped on the afterbirth and broke his collarbone.

Dexter: I hope all your children have very small dicks! And that includes the girls!

Ron Anderson: You're both sacked. I give you a week's notice.::Dexter: You can't do that! I demand to talk to the producer.::Ron Anderson: I am the producer.::Dexter: In that case, you can do that but I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of sacking me because I resign!::Ron Anderson: Fine, then you get no severance pay and I sue your arse for breach of contract.::Dexter: In that case I don't resign, you total and utter bastard!::Ron Anderson: [slams the door in Dexter's face]::Dexter: I hope all your children have very small dicks! And that includes the girls!

Dexter: Please? Just dinner? Let me explain: I was a complete, total, utter idiot! I have learned my lesson completely, totally, utterly!::Kate: Just dinner?::Dexter: Promise!::Kate: What? No sex at the end?::Dexter: Well, maybe - sex? Yes! Alright, if you insist!

Kate: Are you going to walk me home? Or should I just get murdered on my own?

Mary: Well, the only other thing at the moment is a new musical that the RSC are doing.::Dexter: Er, what's it about?::Mary: The Elephant Man.::Dexter: A musical of the Elephant Man? What's it called?::Mary: "Elephant", I think - with an exclamation mark presumably.::Dexter: Pity the poor bastard who has to play the elephant.::Mary: Remember dearest, everyone thought Jesus Christ Superstar was a stupid idea.::Dexter: Jesus Christ Superstar WAS a stupid idea.::Mary: True.

Ron Anderson: Listen, Dexter, is there something troubling you? Something that you would like to talk to someone about?::Dexter: Well, yes, as a matter of fact there is...::Ron Anderson: Then for fuck's sake talk to someone about it, will you? And sort it out before I sack you and hire a lobotomized monkey to play your role. Okay?

Ross, Jonathan Filmography

• David Frost: Hello, Good Evening & Farewell
  2013, role: actor , character name: Himself - Introduction
• David Frost: Hello, Good Evening & Farewell
  2013, role: actor , character name: Narrator
• The BRIT Awards 2013
  2013, role: actor , character name: Himself - Presenter
• How Video Games Changed the World
  2013, role: actor , character name: Himself
• The Big Fat Quiz of the 90s
  2013, role: actor , character name: Himself - Contestant
• Rock and Roll's Greatest Failure: Otway the Movie
  2013, role: actor , character name: Himself
• Perspectives: Jonathan Ross on Alfred HItchcock - Made in Britain
  2013, role: actor , character name: Himself - Host
• The Big Fat Quiz of the 80s
  2013, role: producer
• The Big Fat Quiz of the 90s
  2013, role: producer
• The Big Fat Quiz of the Year
  2012, role: producer
• Alan Carr's New Year Specstacular
  2012, role: actor , character name: Himself
• National Television Awards
  2012, role: actor , character name: Himself
• The Big Fat Quiz of the 90s
  2012, role: producer
• The Big Fat Quiz of the 80s
  2012, role: actor , character name: Himself - Contestant
• The Big Fat Quiz of the 00s
  2012, role: producer
• The Big Fat Quiz of the 80s
  2012, role: producer
• Alan Carr's Summertime Specstacular 2
  2012, role: actor , character name: Himself
• The Big Fat Quiz of the Year
  2012, role: actor , character name: Himself - Contestant
• Ruth Jones' Summer Holiday
  2011, role: actor , character name: Himself
• TV Festival Du Cannes 2011
  2011, role: actor , character name: Himself - Presenter
• Almost Famous IV
  2011, role: actor , character name: Harp Commercial
• The Big Fat Quiz of the Year
  2011, role: actor , character name: Himself - Contestant
• Comic Relief: Red Nose Day 2011
  2011, role: actor , character name: Himself - Presenter
• The Big Fat Quiz of the Year
  2011, role: producer
• The Big Fat Quiz of the Year
  2011, role: producer
• The British Comedy Awards 2011
  2011, role: actor , character name: Himself - Presenter
• The Orange British Academy Film Awards
  2011, role: actor , character name: Himself - Host
• The Big Fat Quiz of the Year
  2011, role: actor , character name: Himself - Contestant
• Andy Hamilton's Search for Satan
  2011, role: producer
• Cinémoi at Cannes
  2011, role: actor , character name: Himself - Host
• A Night with the Stars
  2011, role: actor , character name: Himself
• National Movie Awards
  2010, role: actor , character name: Himself
• The Orange British Academy Film Awards: Red Carpet
  2010, role: actor , character name: Himself
• The Big Fat Quiz of the Year
  2010, role: producer
• Almost Famous III
  2010, role: actor , character name: Himself
• Channel 4's Comedy Gala
  2010, role: actor , character name: Himself
• Pride of Britain Awards 2010
  2010, role: actor , character name: Himself
• Bruce Forsyth: A Comedy Roast
  2010, role: actor , character name: Himself
• Brit Awards 2010
  2010, role: actor , character name: Himself - Presenter
• The BRITs Encore
  2010, role: actor , character name: Himself
• 100 Greatest Toys
  2010, role: actor , character name: Himself - Presenter
• Pete & Dud: The Lost Sketches
  2010, role: actor , character name: Himself - Presenter
• Jamie's Christmas Lock-In
  2010, role: actor , character name: Himself
• The Big Fat Quiz of the Year
  2010, role: actor , character name: Himself - Contestant
• The Variety Club Showbiz Awards 2009
  2009, role: actor , character name: Himself
• The British Comedy Awards 2009
  2009, role: actor , character name: Himself - Host
• The Orange British Academy Film Awards: Red Carpet
  2009, role: actor , character name: Himself
• David Lean in Close-Up
  2009, role: actor , character name: Himself - Host
• Comic Relief: The Apprentice
  2009, role: actor , character name: Himself
• The Orange British Academy Film Awards
  2009, role: actor , character name: Himself - Host

Ross, Jonathan Filmography

• Temporary Dreams
  2006, role: actor , character name: FBI Agent

Ross, Jonathan Filmography

• Divine Manipulation of the Threads
  2006, role: actor , character name: Extra

Famous quotes by Jonathan Ross:

"We will revisit our price target and rating when the stock stabilizes, ... Our long-term view of Palm is as rosy as yesterday's (Thursday's), but we assert that the implied discount between Palm and 3Com's Palm stake is the best way to play Palm for now."

"We did not expect to see so much volatility at the open, given the run-up in 3Com, in anticipation of the float,"

"There is a price to pay for pirate DVDs and it's much higher than most people think."

"He said: 'I don't know how you manage to fit them all in.' I said: 'It's not too late to take this back.'"

"At this point, this seems to be what the fundamentals are telling us. This is a very comfortable [trading] range for us right now."

"There was a bit of a run-up before the results. They were good results, but the turnaround is already in the price."

"David looked more scared and I got a perverse joy out of it,"

"To the extent that there is some uncertainty, and there's less uncertainty now, then that's a good thing with the bank."

"Saying yes to a pirate DVD is also saying yes to crime on your streets,"

"I'm going to get this for a lot of people ? it's fantastic... a gift and a half."

"Fortunately, this is not something that we see a lot of. Very rarely do you see a dog in this terrible shape from starvation. People just aren't that cruel."

"It's not whether you win or lose, it's how many people remember you when you die."