Soulmates help
For tips getting started, try our dating advice page.
Frequently asked questions about Soulmates are answered below. We hope this helps answer your question, but if not, please use the form below to contact us.
If you have a serious problem with another Soulmates user, please use our report abuse page.
General FAQs
About Soulmates
Soulmates is the dating website from The Guardian. Soulmates has brought together thousands of happy couples since launching in 2004.
How does Soulmates work?
Soulmates has thousands of members throughout the UK and beyond, of all ages, backgrounds and sexual orientation. You can browse profiles before joining. If you like what you see, you can join and create your own profile for free. To contact other people and use the full set of features of Soulmates you must purchase a subscription.
Soulmates and the Guardian
Rather than benefiting shareholders or a proprietor, Soulmates profits are reinvested into the Guardian Media Group to sustain journalism that is free from commercial or political interference and upholds the values of the Scott Trust.
How does it work?
What do I get for free?
You can create a profile about yourself, with pictures and information about your interests, and you can search and browse for other Soulmates. You can tell us what you are looking for in your match, such as their age and location. You can read other users' profiles, and add them to a list of people you like.
What do I get when I subscribe?
As a subscriber you have access to the full gallery of pictures on Soulmates profiles, and all their profile information. You can run advanced searches. Most importantly, you can contact other Soulmates using our messaging service, at your computer or on your mobile phone.
You also have options to filter and sort your search result to find people that match what you’re looking for.
How much does it cost?
You can choose a monthly subscription at £32 per month, or you get a discounted rate if you purchase a three month subscription for £64 or six month subscription for £96.
How can I pay?
You can pay using a credit or debit card. The secure payment will be processed by our payment provider. You will receive confirmation by email when your payment has been processed.
How do I join?
You can join by choosing a username, password and providing your email address, as well as telling us basic information about your gender and sexual preference.
Your username must also be unique and also be between 4 and 20 characters long. Your password must be between 8 and 16 characters long, a mixture of capital and lowercase letters, and contain at least one number. Certain words such as 'password', your username or 'Soulmates' are not permitted. Please also don’t use anything that could be easily guessed, or use a password for another website. Never share your Soulmates password with anyone else. You don't need to tell us anything else about yourself straight away, but your profile won't be available until you have confirmed your email address.
How do I confirm my email address?
When you join Soulmates we will send an email to the address you provided. You will need to click the link in the email to activate your profile. Once you have confirmed your email address and activated your account, please follow the steps at the top of the Home page to complete your profile and make it visible to other Soulmates.
My profile
How do I create my profile?
The first step is to join Soulmates and create your basic account. Your next step is to go to edit your profile. It’s really important to write about yourself and what you’re looking for. We won’t show your profile in search results until you’ve done this.
How does Soulmates verify profiles?
An experienced team of UK based moderators review all profiles and monitor the Soulmates service. Guardian Soulmates does not create 'false profiles' for any purpose whatsoever, and has never done so.
Will my information be shared with other dating services?
Guardian Soulmates does not share profiles with any other dating services. The only profiles on Guardian Soulmates are those of users who have registered with Soulmates.
What do I need to do to appear in search results?
You need to confirm your email address, tell us about yourself and what you’re looking for and tell us your location. You don’t have to have a photo of yourself, but it makes a huge difference to the amount of response you will get.
How do I upload a picture?
You need a JPEG picture of yourself. Most digital cameras will produce photos in this format. On the pictures part of ‘edit your profile’ under ‘choose your picture’ click ‘browse’. You’ll be asked to find the file on your computer, and then click the ‘add’ button. We need your photo to be the right shape and size to fit on the site, so the next step is to crop your photo. Click ‘crop it’ to place a frame on the picture. Click and drag the corners to choose the part of the photo you want to use. You can drag the frame around to choose the part of the photo you want. You’ll be shown a preview of what the picture will look like on the site. When you’re happy with your picture, click Save.
Our customer service team will check your picture. If it’s ok, your picture will appear on the site shortly. If there’s a problem with your picture, customer services will send you an email telling you what to do.
What makes a good profile picture?
Your profile picture has to show your face. No hats, sunglasses, or anything else that obscures your face, please. It must be just of you and have no one else in the picture.
Can I use a picture from another social network or my workplace?
Be aware that it is possible to locate duplicate images using an online image search and so we strongly advise against using a picture of yourself that is linked to a social network or other personal profile. This is to protect your privacy.
Can I add more photos of myself?
Yes. You can add up to nine more photos of yourself in your gallery. These don’t have to be of just your face, so you can show more of your character and interests.
Can I control who can see photos of me?
Yes. Your profile picture will be shown on your profile page, on search results pages, and in ‘matches’ emails sent to other Soulmates. It might also be shown on the Soulmates front page, on theguardian.com pages, in the ‘you might like’ section and in other emails to Soulmates, but you can choose to opt-out of these. Your gallery pictures will be shown to Soulmates subscribers. You can choose to only allow people you like to view a gallery picture.
Why has my profile picture been rejected?
Common reasons for rejecting a profile photo include poor image quality (too dark, too blurry, too pixellated), unclear face, image distortion (i.e. hasn’t been cropped), or a second person is in the picture. Common reasons for rejecting a gallery photo are for poor image quality, poor framing or inappropriate content.
Can I change my profile name?
If you want to change your profile name once you have set it up, you can do so on the 'your account' page.
Profile privacy
What does the 'Publish' button on the 'Edit your profile' page do?
As soon as you start to write in the ‘Tell us a bit about yourself’ or ‘Tell us what you’re looking for in a partner’ boxes, a ‘Publish’ button will appear. When you’re ready to make what you have written visible to other Soulmates, click on the ‘Publish’ button next to the section you have finished writing in. Please note: the ‘Publish’ button only relates to these text boxes, and not other sections of the ‘Edit your profile’ page.
How do I save what I've written without publishing it to my profile?
We will automatically save any changes you make to the ‘Tell us a bit about yourself’ and the ‘Tell us what you’re looking for in a partner’ boxes, without publishing it your profile. You can even visit other pages of the site and come back later to finish what you’ve written. If you want to return to the previous version of what has been saved, click on the ‘Undo changes’ link, next to the ‘Publish’ button.
When will the changes to my profile be published?
As soon as you click on the ‘Publish’ button the changes will be visible to other Soulmates. Please note: there may be a delay if your profile breaches our terms of use.
How will my location be displayed?
You will be asked to enter your post code or town when editing your profile. The post code will not be visible on your profile and is only used to match you with other Soulmates users. Your post code or town is also used to provide you with a number of options to display the location on your profile, selecting whether you want to share your area, town, county or country.
What does the 'Hide' button do?
You can use the 'Hide' button to stop people appearing in 'Your matches' and your 'Find a soulmate' search results.
What if I want to hide my profile?
If you want to take a break from Soulmates you can hide your profile on the ‘your account’ page.
This feature is so that you can maintain your Soulmates profile and return to it later if you wish - but it will not be visible to others through searches.
When hidden, all of your profile content and your messages stay saved. Notification settings aren’t affected - you can send likes and messages and people will be notified as normal.
Your subscription will continue throughout - you can easily make your profile visible again at any time and carry on using Soulmates.
Can someone I've hidden view my profile, 'like' me, and send messages?
Yes. The 'Hide' button only removes a profile from your search results. Soulmates you’ve hidden can still 'like' you, view your profile, send you a message, and appear in the 'Most popular', 'New on Guardian Soulmates' and 'Recently updated profiles' pages. If you want to prevent a person from sending you messages please use the 'Block' feature.
What's the difference between 'Hide' and 'Block'?
'Hide' prevents a Soulmate from appearing in your search results and matches. People who you've hidden can still ‘like’ you and send you messages. 'Block' will stop someone from appearing on all pages of the site, including search results, matches, 'Soulmates who like you' and 'Views'. Messages from a person that you have blocked will not be delivered to you.
Why can I not see the 'Hide' feature on certain pages of the site?
The hide button will only appear in the ‘Your matches’ and ‘Find a soulmate’ search results, and is not featured on other areas of the site, although you can use the ‘Hide’ button whilst viewing a person's full profile.
What happens if I do a username search for someone I've hidden?
The user will not be found as you have hidden them from all search results.
How can I see who I have hidden?
To view a list of those who you have hidden, please click on the ‘Soulmates I have hidden’ link located on the left hand side of the ‘Find a soulmate’ page.
How do I unhide a profile?
You can unhide people from the ‘Soulmates I have hidden list’ by clicking on the hide icon. Hovering your mouse over this section will turn the text from 'He's/She's hidden' to 'Unhide him/her'.
Searching
How do I search for someone?
Anyone can search by gender, age, location, and whether someone has a photo. If you’re logged in, we’ll try to show you people who might be a good match for you. You can change your search criteria from the search results page.
How do I narrow down my search results?
Subscribers can filter their search results. On the search results page, as well as ‘the basics’ (gender, age, location) you can apply filters on other categories. Your search results will update as you change these options.
How do I save searches?
Once you have performed a basic or advanced search on the ‘Find a soulmate’ page, a yellow bar will appear above your search results with a link to ‘Save this search’. Simply choose a name for your search and click ’Save’. You can save up to a maximum of 10 searches.
How do I view my saved searches?
The ‘Saved searches’ link is located above the main search panel on the left hand side of the ‘Find a soulmate’ page. Clicking on the link will show you a list of your saved searches, and you will be able to select the search that you want to view. A yellow bar, above your search results, will indicate the saved search you are viewing once it has been selected.
How do I delete a saved search?
You can delete a search by clicking on ‘X’ next to the name of your saved search. This can be located via the ‘Saved searches’ link on the ‘Find a soulmate’ page.
How do I replace a saved search?
If you want to make changes to a saved search, please open your list of ‘Saved searches’ on the ‘Find a soulmate’ page. Select the search you want to replace, make the desired changes to the criteria (location, age, etc.) and click ‘Search’. The results will appear along with a yellow ‘Save this search’ bar, located at the top of the page. Clicking this link will present you with the option to ‘Replace an existing search’. Select the search you want to overwrite from the drop-down menu and click on the ‘Replace’ button.
Can I rename a saved search?
No. You can only replace criteria within a saved search. You will have to create a new search if you want a different name for it.
I've done a search, but I can’t see the yellow 'Save this search' bar.
If you have more than 10 saved searches the ‘Save this search’ bar will not appear. Also, you can only access the saved search feature from the ‘Find a soulmate’ page, and can not save username searches from the ‘Your matches’ or ‘Most popular’ pages.
What's the difference between 'Find a soulmate' and 'Your matches'?
We use the criteria you select in the 'Who you're looking for' page to create a list of compatible Soulmates in 'Your matches'. The list is based on two-way matching, taking into account the importance of each criteria to you and your match. You can choose the importance of each matching criteria by using the slider tool. The 'Find a soulmate' page allows you to search for other Soulmates and easily change your search criteria by age, location and keyword, and sort them by best match, age, last login and recently updated.
What is the slider tool on the 'Who you're looking for' page?
The slider tool allows you to indicate how important each criteria is to you when looking for a Soulmate. For instance, if you are looking for someone of a particular height, and this is very important to you, move the slider over to the right towards 'Essential'. However, if height is of no significance to you, move the slider to the left towards 'Not important' or keep it in the centre if you are indifferent. The slider tool has five levels of importance, which will directly affect the results in 'Your matches'. If you select 'Not important' the criteria will grey out and not be included when calculating your matches.
How have you sorted the list of 'Your matches'?
We have calculated your matches from the criteria you have selected, and the importance of each, from the 'Who you're looking for' page. The 'Your matches' page is based on two-way matching, so those who have selected 'essential' criteria that match yours will appear higher in your matches list. You can amend your matches at any time in the 'Who you're looking for' page, located in 'Edit your profile'. For better match compatibility, you should aim to fill out all of the criteria in 'Who you're looking for'. The 'Your matches' page will only display those who are above a 40% match.
Contacting other users
How do I contact someone?
You need to subscribe before you can send messages. You can click 'Send a message' on someone's Soulmates profile, which will take you directly to a page where you can compose your message. Your message will be sent to that person's account, and they'll also receive an email telling them they have a message from you. If they reply, you'll receive an email notification, your inbox on Soulmates will show that you have a new message, and the number of unread messages will appear in a pink circle at the top of the page next to 'Messages'. People who have not subscribed can still respond to your message by choosing from a list of one-line replies. Messages are shown in threads or conversations.
What are one-line replies?
Those who are not subscribed to Soulmates are able to reply to any message by selecting a one-line response. You will need to subscribe if you wish to send a message or reply in full.
How long will my messages be kept?
We show all messages sent and received in the last six months.
What makes a good first message?
A first message needn't be very long. It's good to show that you've read their profile and you're interested in what they've said. You can see if they've read your message by looking at the message from your sent mail. You mustn't share contact details in a first message.
Why are contact details being removed from my messages?
You are not able to include your personal contact information or social networking details in messages to members who have not previously contacted you, or when responding to those who are not subscribed to Soulmates.
What do I do if I have a problem with another Soulmates member?
The support team appreciate hearing from our users if there are any problems with people you meet through Soulmates. Please contact our customer services team with your username, their username, and a description of the problem. The team will review this message and take any appropriate action.
Someone likes me... what do I do next?
You can 'like' them back, and we'll send them an email telling them you're interested in them too. Or you can send them a message and see what happens! Any member can 'like' someone but you need to subscribe before you can send messages.
Subscriptions and payment
Where are my subscription details?
To see your subscription details, go to Your subscription status. This will show the date and amount of your last and next payments.
Why would I have ongoing payments?
Like most dating services we will automatically take monthly payments. We do this so you keep your subscriber benefits from month to month.
How can I end my subscription?
Just go to Your subscription status and select Stop ongoing payments to stop any further payments being taken. On the date your next payment would have been due, your subscription will end and you will lose access to subscriber benefits. Don't worry, you can resubscribe at any time.
Account settings
Can I choose which emails to receive from Soulmates?
Yes. You can choose not to receive notifications of new messages, people you like, etc. We need to be able to send you updates about changes to your account settings, so we don’t allow you to opt-out of these.
Can I use Soulmates on my mobile?
Yes. You can login at soulmates.theguardian.com/mobile to browse profiles and send and receive messages.
I’ve met someone wonderful... how do I thank you?
You’re welcome! We’re very happy for you. Please let us know that you’re not using your Soulmates profile by choosing ‘hide’ on the ‘your account’ page. We love hearing success stories, so please be sure to send yours to us via the contact form below. We love receiving holiday snaps, baby photos and wedding pictures and initiations, although unfortunately we can’t send the editor of the Guardian to make a speech on your big day.
How do I remove my profile from the site?
Please let us know that you’re not using your Soulmates profile by choosing ‘hide’ on the ‘your account’ page.
How do I change my email address?
Go to ‘Your account’ and choose ‘Change your email address. We will send an email to this new address and ask you to click a link in this email to confirm the change.
How do I change my password?
Go to ‘Your account’ and choose ‘Change your password’. We will ask for your current password, then your new one.
What do I do if I’ve forgotten my password?
Go to ‘Your account’ and choose ‘Reset your password’. We will email you information on how to reset your password.
Other questions
Will I receive emails from Soulmates?
Yes. We will send emails about your account settings and subscription, to inform you of new messages and new people who like you, to suggest people you might like and to send you updates about Guardian Soulmates.
You can tell us which messages you would like to receive on the ‘your account’ page.
Who can see my personal information?
Your partial profile can be viewed by all visitors to Soulmates. Your full profile can be viewed by logged-in Soulmates subscribers. Your private information (email address, date of birth, etc) won’t be shown to anyone. Our Privacy Policy has the full detail on this.
Who can’t be a member of Soulmates?
We don’t allow under-18s to join. We don’t want people who are married and
looking for an affair to join - we’re not that kind of site. We also don’t allow people with criminal convictions for violence or fraud to join.
I have another question - who can I ask for help?
Our customer services team are happy to help. You can contact them by using the form below.