There are no small actors. Just small parts.
He's about to explode onto the Hollywood scene.
James Thomas "Jimmy" Fallon, Jr. (born September 19, 1974) is an American actor, comedian, singer, musician and television host. He currently hosts Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, a late-night talk show that airs Monday through Friday on NBC. Prior to that he appeared in several films, and was best known as a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1998–2004.
James Thomas Fallon, Jr., was born in Brooklyn, New York. Jimmy is the son of Gloria and James Fallon, Sr., who is a Vietnam War veteran. His family later settled in Saugerties, New York, while his father worked at IBM in nearby Kingston, New York. He is of Irish descent. As a child, he and his older sister, Gloria, would reenact the “clean parts” of Saturday Night Live that his parents had taped for him. Fallon was such a fan of Saturday Night Live that he made a weekly event of watching it in his dormitory during college. In his teens, he impressed his parents with different impersonations, the first being of James Cagney. He was also musically inclined, and started playing guitar at age 13. He would go on to mix comedy and music in contests and shows.
Gwen Renée Stefani ( /stɛˈfɑːni/; born October 3, 1969) is an American singer-songwriter and fashion designer. Stefani is the lead vocalist for the rock and ska band No Doubt. Stefani recorded Love. Angel. Music. Baby., her first solo album, in 2004. The album was inspired by music of the 1980s and was a success with sales of over seven million copies. The album's third single, "Hollaback Girl", was the first US digital download to sell one million copies. Stefani's second solo album, The Sweet Escape (2006), yielded "Wind It Up", "4 in the Morning", and the highest-selling single "The Sweet Escape". Including her work with No Doubt, Stefani has sold more than forty million albums worldwide. She won the World's Best-Selling New Female Artist at the World Music Awards 2005.
In 2003, she debuted her clothing line L.A.M.B. and expanded her collection with the 2005 Harajuku Lovers line, drawing inspiration from Japanese culture and fashion. Stefani performs and makes public appearances with four back-up dancers known as the Harajuku Girls dancers. She married British grunge musician Gavin Rossdale in 2002 and they have two sons: Kingston James McGregor Rossdale, born May 26, 2006, and Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale, born August 20, 2008. Billboard magazine named Stefani the fifty-fourth artist and thirty-seventh Hot 100 artist of the 2000–09 decade.
Blake Tollison Shelton (born June 18, 1976) is an American country music artist. In 2001, he made his debut with the single "Austin". Released as the lead-off single from his self-titled debut album, "Austin" went on to spend five weeks at Number One on the Billboard Hot Country Songs charts. This song was the first single from his gold-certified debut album, which also produced two more Top 20 hits. Although the album was released on Giant Records Nashville, Shelton was transferred to Warner Bros. Records Nashville after Giant closed in late 2001.
His second and third albums, 2003's The Dreamer (his first for Warner Bros. proper) and 2004's Blake Shelton's Barn & Grill, were each certified gold as well. Shelton's fourth album, Pure BS, was issued in 2007, and re-issued in 2008 with a cover of Michael Bublé's pop hit "Home" as one of the bonus tracks. This cover was also that album's third single. A fifth album, Startin' Fires, was released in November 2008. It was followed by the extended plays Hillbilly Bone and All About Tonight in 2010, and the album Red River Blue in 2011. He is currently a vocal coach on the NBC reality talent show The Voice with Adam Levine, Christina Aguilera, and Cee Lo Green.
Barbra Joan Streisand (/ˈstraɪsænd/; born April 24, 1942) is an American singer, actress, writer, film producer and director. She has won two Academy Awards, eight Grammy Awards, five Emmy Awards including one Daytime Emmy, a Special Tony Award, an American Film Institute award, a Peabody Award, and is one of the few entertainers who have won an Oscar, Emmy, Grammy, and Tony Award.
She is one of the most commercially and critically successful entertainers in modern entertainment history, with more than 71.5 million albums shipped in the United States and 140 million albums sold worldwide. She is the best-selling female artist on the Recording Industry Association of America's (RIAA) Top Selling Artists list, the only female recording artist in the top ten, and the only artist outside of the rock and roll genre. Along with Frank Sinatra, Cher, and Shirley Jones, she shares the distinction of being awarded an acting Oscar and also recording a number-one single on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 chart.
Robert Allen "Rob" Riggle, Jr. (born April 21, 1970) is an American actor, comedian and United States Marine Corps Reserve officer. He is best known for his work as a correspondent on Comedy Central's The Daily Show from 2006–2008, as a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 2004–2005, and for his comedic roles in films such as The Hangover, The Other Guys, The Lorax, 21 Jump Street, The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard, and Step Brothers.
Riggle was born in Louisville, Kentucky and raised in Overland Park, Kansas, where he attended Shawnee Mission South High School. He later graduated from the University of Kansas, in 1992, with a B.A. in Theater and Film, and is a member of the Phi Gamma Delta fraternity. He went on to earn a Master of Public Administration degree from Webster University in 1997.
Riggle is currently a Lieutenant Colonel in the United States Marine Corps Reserve and served in Liberia, Kosovo, and Afghanistan. He is currently a public affairs officer with the New York City Public Affairs unit and is a recipient of the Combat Action Ribbon. Riggle joined the Marines in 1990 after getting his pilot's license, intending to become a Naval Aviator, but left flight school in order to pursue his comedy career. He has referred to his military experiences on The Daily Show, often when acting as the show's "Military Analyst", publicly stating he could kill any other member of the show.
Yeh. Yeh.
I would clear my throat, but that ain't my thing.
Hoe. Yeh, Oh, we the Gang, by the way.
That's my new shit, too, hoe.
We just came to party.
Smokin' by the zip,
Drinkin' by the gallon.
Party hard, late night, who that?
Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Fallon, who that? Jimmy Fallon.
Party hard, late night, who that? Jimmy Fallon.
Smokin' by the zip,
Drinkin' by the gallon.
Party hard, late night, who that?
Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Fallon, who that? Jimmy Fallon.
Party hard, late night, Jimmy Fallon.
Hold up, niggas whilin', when they get it late night,
Jimmy Fallon.
Who partyin'? We brought the weed.
Lights, diamonds on here.
That's Gang shit, Taylor hoe.
Bitch, I'm gone, adios!
Them papers clean, my trees grown.
I'm fucked up, little girl, leave me 'lone.
Got red cups, blue bottles.
Show you how to roll something, role model.
We all here. You see them sign?
It costs to look. Bitch, our money blind.
Shades on, ninety-five percent. That's all black.
Bitch, I'm bent. Bitch, I'm bent. Bitch, I'm bent.
You can't see my eyes, hoe. Bitch, I'm bent.
That's word to V. I got it balanced.
Get it late night, what's that? Jimmy Fallon.
Smokin' by the zip,
Drinkin' by the gallon.
Party hard, late night, who that?
Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Fallon, who that? Jimmy Fallon.
Party hard, late night, who that? Jimmy Fallon.
Smokin' by the zip,
Drinkin' by the gallon.
Party hard, late night, who that?
Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Fallon, who that? Jimmy Fallon.
Party hard, late night, Jimmy Fallon.
See a whole lot drink in the nigga cup.
I ain't leanin', baby, this ain't what the fuck you want.
I'm on my P's, I'm on my Q's.
You on that bullshit, I don't fuck with you.
We bottle poppin', we smokin' trees.
We on the top, balcony. You on the low, you keep it low.
I'm gettin' high, we gettin' dough.
These bitches know, these niggas know, they barely know.
We gettin' blow. That's red cups, that's red cups.
When you see me gettin' blow, that's red cups.
I'm so high, I'm so drunk, get with me, hoe, get fucked up.
Got hands bottle, it look so tough, comin' down the strict Leroy, shown ups.
Smokin' by the zip,
Drinkin' by the gallon.
Party hard, late night, who that?
Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Fallon, who that? Jimmy Fallon.
Party hard, late night, who that? Jimmy Fallon.
Smokin' by the zip,
Drinkin' by the gallon.
Party hard, late night, who that?
Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Fallon, who that? Jimmy Fallon.
Party hard, late night, Jimmy Fallon.
Haha, I got a cup, my niggas got cups, the bitches got cups.
That nigga Whiler. Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Fallon.
Party hard, late night, who that? Jimmy Fallon.
Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Fallon, party hard, late night, what that?
Jimmy Fallon.
Don't spill my cup, nigga.
Don't spill my...
Don't spill my motherfucking cup, nigga.
Hey guys, how you doing tonight?
I hope everyone enjoyed homecoming this year
and now i'm proud to introduce
Do you guys have fake IDs?
Yeah, you gotta have fake ids man...
You know, i'm not gonna narc you or anything...i'm not like 21 Jump Street you know
"C'mon, hey. You told me - in the audience - you said you had a fake id, now talk to this officer."
You gotta have a fake id man, its the most fun cool thing that you could ever
have in college because you're a totally different person, for one night. I
mean, if you chalk it or if you get, like, one that looks nothing like you its
more fun. And you can never ask your friends if its cool because they just
want to drink, so they'll just tell you its cool like
"Let me see that, i'll tell you if its cool. Oh yeah, you got a good one, you
got a GOOD one, you got a good one. Yeah, this'll work. This is gonna work.
Uh huh, yeah, this one's gonna work. Just trust me, wear the turban. Put on
I don't wanna
Do we have to
I don't wanna
Do we have to
Don't wanna go down and drink in the woods
We could get some Mad Dog and hang out in my garage
I got a ping pong table
I don't wanna
Do we have to
I don't wanna
Do we have to
Don't wanna drink in the woods, it sucks
Sit with 20 dudes in a pickup truck and we're gone
I got my thermals on
Gatorade bottles filled with warm Smirnoff
Got too close to the fire burn my eyebrows off
I puked by the tree
I peed in the grass
and get poison ivy all over your ass
In the woods
Don't wanna drink in the woods tonight
The Last time I did I got into a fight
with some guy, who graduated 3 years ago
Paid 5 bucks for a plastic cup
Foam is spillin' out and it won't fill up
I pumped that tap, with my best friend
And he flipped me over for a keg stand (keg stand)
I'm drinkin' in the woods
I'm drunk
Tree trunk
I'm drunk
Are you ready for some air ball throwin, free throw blowin, no look where I'm
goin, free style flowin? You are in my house baby!
Well it's
Tip off time and I'm off the tip.
Walkin to the bench and I sit.
Bite my lip, bustin out rhymes
Standin in line cause it's garbage time.
Cause I'm calm, I'm cool and I collected
Eighteen shots that got rejected.
I'm not Corey Feldman, I'm not Corey Haim.
I got a license to drive but I ain't got game.
Jimmy, What you say?
You can't play
Basketball
Jimmy, what you say? (I double-dribble, traveled through the middle)
You can't play
Basketball (Oh, my bad - you're not on my team?)
Wear my socks high cause it makes me feel cool.
I don't know how to dribble, but I know how to drool.
People always say that I'm a basketball fool.
I got a little tiny hoop cold "floatin" in my pool.
Played my friend's dog on a twenty dollar bet.
I took him to the hole. I took him to the vet.
Shoot from the three every chance I get.
I call it in the air, nothin but nothin.
Okay, here's my chance. The open lane. Don't get nervous. Don't sweat.
Everyone's watching. You can do it, man. I mean, just dribble up. Don't double
dribble. Just dribble normal. Don't show everyone that you can dribble
super-fast between your legs like you do in your driveway. No, this is in front
of people on the court. I'm gonna go up in the air, I'm gonna dunk it as hard
as I can. Cause usually I'm on the other end. People dunking on ME. I'm used to
some 7 foot dude's "thingy" getting smacked in my face. I still got the bruise
to prove it. But I ain't gonna take that nickname "Dick Bruiseface" lyin down!
My name ain't Dick Bruiseface!!
Well listen up ya'll!
You know I'm not tall!
My name was never written on the bathroom wall.
I'm gonna say "What's up?!"
I'm gonna take the pump.
Cause I'm a moving pick, I'm gonna shoot some bricks.
So I huff and puff, I say enuff Z'nuff.
I'd rather watch Ahmad Rashad on the inside stuff.
Hello. Hello my name is Jimmy Fallon, and welcome to the auditions for Troll
Productions Inc. Remember, we're looking for a star or celebrity to sponsor our
new line of trolls dolls, in our new series of commercials. So thanks for coming.
Let's just start the auditions, uh, first up, Mr. John Travolta.
She's like, I swear to God, I mean I can't believe you guys are trying to sell
these things, right. I mean like, who does his hair? I mean like, his hair's so
frizzy. I mean like, you guys can probably get some, like, anti-friz shampoo or
something, right? I mean, I don't know how you guys expect to sell these things
looking so weird, right?
A-huh-huh.
Thank you, uh, next up, Cliff Calvin, the mailman from Cheers?
Hey, thanks a lot to ya buddy. I was talking with Marty about these dolls.
Turns out, the uh, turns out the actual midget trolls were made in the 1300's,
by, uh, Indian chiefs looking for a story to keep their children occupied.
These trolls are nice, but i'd rather be having a beer with Normy back at the bar.
Thank you, Cliffy. Uh, next up, uh, comedian Jerry Seinfeld.
Okay people, okay. Will ya look at these things? I mean, do you remember when
dolls used to have moving arms and legs? Am I right? He doesn't have any pants
on! What's the deal with that?! No pants! You get the doll. You don't get the
pants!
Thank you, uh, next up, actor Nicolas Cage.
Who? What? Where?
That's all I got for that one actually. Next up, uh, comedian Robin Williams.
Oh yes, troll dolls, yes. A beautiful thing, yes. It's a beautiful thing. Yes.
Looks like Don King on Viagra, yes. Yes, suddenly the guy's at home going,
"What the hell's going on there?", yes. Meanwhile, there's a kid at home going,
"Daddy, I want the Harry Potter doll!", yes. Meanwhile, the guy's at home
going, "I'm seeing the anti-Christ and it is a troll doll!", yes. Suddenly
Arnold Schwarzenegger's at home going, "Yah, I like to eat troll doll with my
English Muffin.", yes. Suddenly, Mr. Happy's coming out going, "Lewinski,
Lewinski!", yes. Thank you.
Uh, next up, next up, next up for the audtions, uh, Mr. Gilbert Gottfried.
What is this? What kinda kid plays with something like this? They're so weird
looking! What kinda kid would play with something like this? I'd like to be the
voice of this. And that's not good.
Thank you. Last but not least, uh, Mr. Adam Sandler.
Alright, how ya doing? Alright, this is, uh, okay. This is, uh, this is
me, giving a troll doll to, to my mother, okay Here we go. Uh, uh, mom, I, uh.
Hi. I uh, I uh, I got you a troll.
What did you say?
I said, I, uh, I said I got you a troll.
I can't hear you. What did you say to your poor mother? Speak up, please.
I said, I got you a troll.
I'm outta control? What are you saying?!
I wish you would just take the doll and, SHUT UP!
U can't touch this
Don't turn around, uh-oh. Der kommisar's in town, uh-oh
I heard you on the wireless back in '52. Oh-wah-oh. What did you tell them?
Video killed the radio star.
I wanna rock right now, I'm Rob Base and I came to get down.
I'm not internationally known, but I'm known to rock the microphone.
You can dance if you want to... you can leave your friends behind. 'Cause your
friends don't dance and if they don't dance then they're no friends of mine.
Safety Dance.
Take on me. Take on me. Take me on. Take on me. I'll be gone. When you TAKE.
Stop Hammertime.
Oh, I. I just died in your arms tonight. It must've been something you said.
I wear my sunglasses at night so I can, so I can.
I always feel like somebody's watching me.
Together forever and ever to part. Together forever.
Poor old Johnny Ray...said it sid a sahd on the radio and a sid and sool and thunder.
C'mon Eileen, too-loo-rah-yay, C'mon Eileen too-loo-rah-yay. Now you have
gone, now you have gone. Ohh Eileen. Said c'mon Eileen you're breaking me
down, i said too-loo-rah. Now you're too young and clever be singing again.
VERSE 1:1
The oil spill, by BP
Has left tar balls, all over the sea
So don't go swimming, down in the south
Unless you want, tar balls in your mouth
CHORUS:
Balls in your mouth, balls in your mouth
Don't swim in the ocean you'll get balls in your mouth (x6)
BREAKDOWN (Quiet):
Balls in your mouth, balls in your mouth
Don't swim in the ocean you'll get balls in your mouth (x2)
CHORUS:
Balls in your mouth, balls in your mouth
GET IN THE CAR!
Road Rage
My knuckles are white and my face is bright red
Road Rage
Doing 65 on a suped-up moped
Road Rage
Is that you that gave me the finger?
Road Rage
How come you won't turn off your blinker?
You shouldn't drive like that
I got a baseball bat
You're gonna get it
You're gonna get it
Roll down your window and see
There's a psycho in your rear view mirror (It's me)
Road Rage
If honking my horn don't get your attention
Road Rage
I'll stick my fist up your ass like my name was Jim Hensen.
My blood is boiling
Your car's annoying
I'm gonna get ya
I'm gonna get ya
Don't flash your high beams at me
You wouldn't like it when I'm angry you see
I got the Road Rage!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ah
What's that
I step on my gas
And pass your ass
'Gonna check you out while you do your hair
You're driving around like you just don't care
I got the road ra-ye-ya-ye-ya-ye-ya-age
So chill
Get off my grill
You drive too fast
Hello, my name is Jimmy Fallon
And welcome back to the audition for Troll Productions Inc.
Remember we are looking for a jingle, for our new line of troll dolls,
A jingle, alright thank you for coming to the audition, but first up U2
Troll Doll out on the street
Got no job got no money
Got no shoes on their feet
Troll Doll
Troll Doll
Aight!
Thank you, next up, the audition we have, the 4 Non Blondes
25 years I'll be 30 years old
I'm 5 and I'm sitting here playing with this troll
This troll That I got for Christmas
And so I'm playing with his shirt and I'm playing with his hair
I'm gonna play with my friend, so I'll put you right there
And I'll be back, I'll be back in a minute
But when I come back around my troll's not there
And I remember his shirt and his long pink hair
And I scream at the top of my lungs "My Troll is Gone"
And I say hey ay ay ay Hey ay ay
I say hey, My Troll is gone..
Thank you, that's all now...next up for the audition are, R.E.M
That's it in the window
That Troll is a Blue Light special
Here at K-Mart can't wait to get it...
Oh no it costs too much
I don't have enough
Thank you, next up, uh, next up is the, the Counting Crows
Sha la la la la la ya
Woah ho Yeah
Got this this doll he's a friend of mine
He's always there when I need him, Mr.Troll
We go out for a walk some times
And we take a walk
We take a walk, Yeah
Mr. Troll and me,
Cruisin' around the streets of Boston
And we get lost sometimes
But we don't know how it's a sold out show..
And we're
Sha la la la la la la la la la
Mr. Troll and me,
Gonna be a Big Star
Next up, uh, next up, uh, Coldplay
I bought a Troll
I bought a Troll for you
The one you wanted was blue
But they only had Yellow
You guys! 1, 2, 3, 4....!
I bought a Troll
I bought a Troll for you
The one you wanted was blue
But they only had Yellow
Next up, uh, haha, oh great, next up, uh, next up for the audition, Alanis
Morisette
I wanted a Troll Doll
but I didn't have money to pay for it.
So we decided to steal it,
A five-finger discount
And run for it.
But you, you got away
And I was indicted
Because of a Troll Doll
Next up, um, next up the, the Dave Matthews Band
I say I went to a toy store
Got a Troll for my kid
I fell asleep and they locked me in
Yeah Yeah Yeah
Now I'm stuck inside
Because here I have been shopping for a long long time
Tridding Trodden Trolls for a long long time
Open up this toy store and let me out
Little Baby!
Snow Day, school's closed and I can't wait,
to go outside and I just might get into a snowball fight!
Snowball
Snowball
Snowball fight
Snowball
Snowball
Snowball fight
Snowball
Snowball
Snowball fight
Snowball
Snowball
Snowball fight
I ran, a jump attack on a snowman,
Turn around and didn't see 15 snowballs comin' at me!
Snowball
Snowball
Snowball fight
Snowball
Snowball
Snowball fight
Snowball
Snowball
Snowball fight
Snowball
Snowball
Snowball fight
moon boots and a hand-me-down snowsuit snot is dripping from my nose
my lips are chapped and my cocoa froze and i get low and i can see in through
your window
sneak attack in a field use your toboggan as a shield
Snowball
Snowball
Snowball fight
Snowball
Snowball
Snowball fight
Snowball
Snowball
Snowball fight
Snowball
Snowball
Ooooooo
Ahhhhhh
I know what you want, and I know what you need
But I'm goin' screw it up, yeah
Cause I'm an idiot, and I'm your boyfriend, yes I am
I'm goin' take you out, and leave my wallet home
Then I use your cell phone, baby
Long distance, and I'm your boyfriend
Baby I know I'm a man who's made mistakes
I still got some learning to do
I made out with your best friend the other day, and
Now we're best friends too
Yeah Yeah
And I know what you want, and I know what you need
But I'm goin' screw it up, yeah
Cause I'm an idiot, and I'm your boyfriend, yes I am
And I'm goin' get you a gift, Hey! But its something I like too
Hope you like this Norelco Beard Trimmer with my name on it,
And I'm your boyfriend
Hey Deh Deh Deh Deh Deh
Yeah deh deh deh deh deh deh
deh deh deh deh deh deh deh deh deh deh
Goin' Get real drunk,
And call my baby up at four o'clock in the morning
Wake you up
I'm an idiot!
Pick up the phone, come on
Now Look
Lets get in my dad's SUV,
And we'll go over to my house, my crib, my pad
I'll tell my mom to go to sleep
Then we'll have the living room all to ourselves, you see
We'll put on some great DVD's I picked up
How bout like, something like the Matrix
Ooooo
Ahhhhh
I can turn my boom box up, and make the bass
Smack the side of my moms couch
Yeah!
Hey baby you like fine cooking? Cause you know what?
I got a swanson's dinner in the freezer with your name on it
Check it out
Yeah!
I got a permanent wave, yeah!
I got an ogilvie home perm, baby
Uh! I Honk the horn can you honk the horn?
Can you honk the horn?
Let me hear you honk it! Come on!
Let me hear you say uh uh!
Let me hear you say uh uh uh!
Let me see you say uh uh!
Let me hear you say uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh yeah!
Go back to your dorm... you got your roommates and that never works out.
That never works out. They don't want it to work out... they... they want it so
it's like a Real World episode in your dorm room.
Like I don't
understand... like they have those compatibility tests you filled out at the
beginning of the year... that's such a joke that test you fill out of the
beginning of the year... it's like
Umm I like rock and roll... I like staying out
late... and I love the ladies oh yea OOOO!
Okay we've got a perfect roommate for you he's an opera major, he's
a narcoleptic and he's gay so go fight each other... we've got four camera angles
... that'll be perfect welcome to college... go screw your self
HUH yeah that's what we say here go ahead.
Then you think you say okay I got Pete my buddy from high
school is coming up he's gonna be my room mate it's gonna be awesome...No that is
never awesome it doesn't work out... No it doesn't
hate to tell you...
you will fight each other... you will just get... you just get ... I tell you why one
is they have too much dirt on you... your friend from home has too much dirt
they'll kill you they'll crush you in an argument for no reason like you just say
"Hey man the dishes have been in the sink for two weeks man they're your dishes
are you going to clean them or what?"
"Yea... you remember when you had crabs in sixth grade
See, that's what college is all about, man you gotta love college, man it's the best thing in the world.
You drink, you have fun, you do the Walk of Shame.
Yeah! You gotta do the Walk of Shame!
For those of you who don't know what the Walk of Shame is,
that's when you hook up with someone the night before and you have to walk all the way across campus
all dishevelled the next morning, in the same clothes.
Oh no, no, I was over at the libray, I was over... I stayed overnight, overnight studying.
You go to your dorm in the morning, there's like a line of kids waiting to get to the shower.
It's like, bunch of zombies just walking, uh-uh-uh. The guy with the flip-flops is beating everybody.
He's got his little basket of stuff with him.
You have to have your little shower basket of stuff. This little baskets holds, like, your shampoo, your soap, your loofa.
And girls have, like, this nice loofa. It's like this little mesh, pink loofa.
Takes off your dead skin, it's really nice.
No, for guys we have the option, we have, like, this French bread lookin' loofa that rips out your ass hair.
Yeah, thank you very much. Ow, ow!
Ow, ow! Walking back to my dorm, everyone's like,
"Hey Jim, nice tan!" I'm like, "It's my third layer of skin!"
Well my freshman year had an awesome RA. i had the best RA in the world. i wish
u was with me all my 4 years. his name is Arnold baldwin. we had this RA.Arnold
Baldwin. hes this big tall skinny black guy.he talked exactly like chris rock.
we loved him because he didnt give a crap about us. he didnt care. hes like,
"im your RA!Resident Assistant! Resident Assistant! im not the resident
council! im not the resident mother! i dont need to know everything! your
friends throwing up in the bathroom i dont need to know! everybody throws up
hes lucky he made it to the bathroom! just give him a tick tack and a pillow
and leave em alone! leave em alone! i dont need to know! your sweet mate is
smokin crack, i dont need to know! just tell him to ex hale through a empty
toilet paper roll stucked with dryer sheets! make it smell like the mountain
springs freshes of crack! i dont need to know! i dont need to know if u gotta
40 oz beer ball keg playin bing ball flip cup century club got zoomy zoomy goin
on i dont need to know cause i dont care! yo girlfriend broke up wit u, i dont
care! yo roomate is a pain on the ass, i dont care! u made a booty call fo in
Hit me three times!
After years of insisting they undermine our very democracy President Obama
recently changed course in regards to Super PACS.
Political action committees which can individually raise
unlimited funds for a candidate
Awwww yeah. Sounds like the President goes both ways on this issue.
[Featuring: Big & Rich]
I'm goin' huntin', I'm loadin' up my gun.
I'm goin' huntin', yeah. Well I'ma gonna get me some
I'm goin' huntin', got my whiskey and my beer
There's cougars a'loose in the bar and I'm goin' huntin' here
Well you know you're lookin' good now, but your momma's lookin' finer
I know you turned 22, but I prefer a 69er
Well, up and down the bar she goes a'prowlin' for all to see
She may not be the freshest, but the muffin' ain't stale to me
I'm goin' huntin', I'm loadin' up my gun.
I'm goin' huntin', yeah. Well I'ma gonna get me some
I'm goin' huntin', got my whiskey and my beer
There's cougars a'loose in the bar and I'm goin' huntin' here
Well, I am just a young buck, but I got you in my sight
I'm gonna bag you and stuff you when we get home tonight
Not gonna lead you on 'cause that's not my trip
But I think there's more cougars here then a Mercury dealership
I'm goin' huntin', I'm loadin' up my gun.
I'm goin' huntin', yeah. Well I'ma gonna get me some
I'm goin' huntin', got my whiskey and my beer
There's cougars a'loose in the bar and I'm goin' huntin' here
There's cougars a'loose in the bar and I'm goin' huntin' here
Talkin' about my new french girlfriend
we met yesterday her name's Renee
armpit hairs and black berets.
she drinks her coffee on ambrettes
she always looks like she's depressed
she smokes before, during, and after sex yeah.
Talkin' about my new french girlfriend
dresses like a mime likes cheese and wine and we share the same bra size.
And she made me grow a thin mustache
and now i look just like her dad
coincidentally his name is Renee too yeah
And when we kiss nothin' but tongue
she hasn't showered in a month
and did i mention the bitch don't like to shower.
Tim Tebow to Jesus Christ
Tim Tebow to Jesus Christ
Can't win by myself but with your help I might
(Ten) Tim Tebow (Nine) to Jesus Christ (Eight)
(Seven, Six) Commencing 4th (Five) down hut hut hike (Four)
(Three, Two) Snap the football (One) and (Touchdown) may God's love be with me
This is Jesus Christ to Tim Tebow
Please leave me alone
Don't you know my day of rest is Sunday
And I'm sick of watching all these Broncos Games
I hear that you play New England next week
Dude you're on your own
Brady is too good and I've got better things to do!
Though I've passed 316 yards there's still two games to go
If I want to make it to the Super Bowl
And show everyone on Earth how to Tebow
Tim Tebow to Jesus Christ
The Broncos won we're still alive
C'mon everyone Tebow
C'mon everyone Tebow
C'mon everyone Tebow
It's so hard to have a conversation with you
It's not what you say or what you do
You're my real good friend
Yes, that I must admit
That's why it breaks my heart to tell you this
You spit when you talk
Oh yeah, I had to say it
Got something to say
And then you go and spray it
I got a dry-cleaning bill and
I'm gonna make you pay it
You spit when you talk
Oh yeah yeah, you spit when you talk
Well, at the office party
You sang karaoke
Electrocuted yourself
Singing? Okie from Muskogee?
It's not a little secret
No, it's something that is known
If you want to talk about it can't you call me on the phone?
Because you spit when you talk
And I'm just being honest
Everything I own
Has your saliva on it
If I talk to you much longer
I swear I'm gonna vomit
You spit when you talk
Oh yeah yeah, you spit when you talk
Now the only friends you have
Are on Facebook and on MySpace
They all talk behind your back
? Cause it's the only dry place
You were so excited at the game
When Jeter had a triple
Got my T-shirt so wet that everybody saw my nipples
You spit when you talk
And it ain't getting better
I know what you had for dinner
? Cause it's right here on my sweater
If you've got an interpreter
You'd better go and get her
You spit when you talk
Oh yeah yeah, you spit when you talk
I'm so sick of all the news on T.V.
All this fighting got me going crazy
And someone wrote on my car "Please clean me"
Now I know what I got to do.
Listen everybody I¹m talking to you.
Let's have a car wash for peace.
There's trouble in the Middle East.
There will be no more wars,
Or dirty cars.
Car wash for peace.
Just remember -
We got to get together
In the parking lot across from Wall Mart Supercenter
Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Jews, C'mon all you Hindu dudes!
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!
Let's have a car wash for peace.
There's trouble in the Middle East.
Got to put down those guns,
Pick up a sponge.
Car wash for peace.
Let's have a car wash for peace.
There's trouble in the Middle East.
There will be no more wars,
Or dirty cars.
Car wash for peace.
There will be no more wars,
[Featuring: Paul McCartney]
Scrambled eggs
Oh my baby how I love your legs
Not as much as I love scrambled eggs
Oh we should eat some scrambled eggs
Waffle fries
Oh my darling how I love your thighs
Not as much as I love waffle fries
Oh have you tried the waffle fries
They are
So damn good that they should be illegal
They're like
Regular fries but they're shaped like a waffle
Chicken wings...
"Chicken wings? No, no, no... Vegetarian, no chicken wings."
"Oh, I forgot, it was actually..."
Tofu wings
Oh my baby when I hear you sing
All I think about is tofu wings
Oh did you bring the tofu wings
There's a
Place I know where I go for kick-ass wings
We could
Even get a side of onion rings
Scrambled eggs
Oh my baby how I love your legs
Not as much as I love scrambled eggs
I woke up,
Rubbed my eyes,
Tried to remember
What the hell I did last night
This aint my bed
This aint my room
Had a crazy night
Now I know what I got to do
Walk of Shame [x4]
I got my drink on
I got my dance on
Now I'm walking home with
Someone elses pants on
Crossed the quad
Pulled my hat down low,
Saw a group of friends
That I pretend I didn't know
Walk of shame [x3]
Was a walk of shame
Baby your place or mine
Either is fine,
But we'll have to decide which one of us
Takes the Walk of shame
Walk of shame [x3]
But tonight
Man I'm gonna make it right
I'm gonna be prepared
I'm gonna pack a change of clothes in the bottom of my jansport
Visine tic tacs and some axe bottle spray
Hold my head high when I walk outside
Gonna take that walk of shame with priiiiiiiiiiiiide
[Dave:] Walk of shame [x4]
[Jimmy and Dave:] Walk of Shame [x4]
[Originally by Rebecca Black]
[Featuring: Stephen Colbert and Taylor Hicks]
Seven A.M., waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have a cereal
Seein' everything, the time is goin'
Tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin'
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends
Kickin' in the front seat
Sittin' in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?
It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend
So chillin' in the back seat
In the front seat
I'm drivin', cruisin'
Fast lanes, switchin' lanes
Wit' a car up on my side (Woo!)
Passin' by is a school bus in front of me
Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream
Check my time, it's Friday, it's a weekend
We gonna have fun
Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin')
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today
Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after ... wards
I don't want this weekend to end
It's Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Lookin' forward to the weekend
And I know it's Friday
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Go back
Go back
Go back to ur dorm, an u got ur roommate.. that never werks out. That never
werks out.. they don't want it to work out. They want it like its a real world
episode in ur dorm room. Like I, uh, Like I don't understand like they hav the
compatibility tests you fill out at the beginning of the year... thats such a
joke with that test u fill out at the beginning of the year. It's like "Umm I
like rock and roll. I like stayin up late, and I love the ladies! oh yeah oh
hoo" "Okay we got the perfect room mate for u. He'z an opera major,he'z an
arptileptic, an he'z gay so go fight each other. we got four camera angles.
That'll be perfect, welcome to college, go screw urself." "HUH?" "Yeah, thats
what we say here, go ahead." Then u think urslef, "Okay I got it beat, i got it
beat, my buddy from high skool's comn up, hez gonna be my room mate, its gonna
be awesum." No, that is never awesum. It doesn't work out. No it doesn't. Hate
to tell ya, u will fight each other, u will jes get, u will get, ill tell ya
why one of is cuz they have too much dirt on u. You'r friend from home has too
much dirt on u, they'll kill u they'll crush u in an argument for no reason.
Like u jes say "hey man, uh, these dishes hav been in the sink for like 2 weeks
man, an their ur dishes, are u gonna clean em or wat?" Yeah remember when u had
crabs in 6 grade?
[Featuring: Justin Timberlake]
[Sugar Hill Gang – “Rapper's Delight”:]
“I said a hip hop the hippie the hippie
To the hip hip hop, a you dont stop the rock
It to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat
Now what you hear is not a test - I'm rappin to the beat
And me, the groove, and my friends are gonna try to move your feet”
[Run-DMC – “Peter Piper”:]
“Now Peter Piper picked peppers, but Run rocked rhymes
Humpty Dumpty fell down, that's his hard time
Jack B. Nimble was nimble, and he was quick
But Jam Master cut faster that so Jay says”
[Beastie Boys – “Paul Revere”:]
“Now here's a little story I got to tell
About three bad brothers you know so well
It started way back in history
With Ad Rock, MCA, and me, Mike D”
[A Tribe Called Quest – “Award Tour”:]
“We on Award Tour with Muhammad my man
Goin' each and every place with the mic' in their hand”
[Digital Underground – “Humpty Dance”:]
“The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
Oh, do me baby
Do the Humpty Hump, watch me do the Humpty Hump”
[Snoop Dogg – “Nuthin' But A G Thang”:]
“One, two, three and to the fo'
Snoop Doggy Dogg and Dr. Dre is at the do'
It's the capital S, oh yes, the fresh N double O P
D O double G Y D O double G, ya see”
[2Pac feat. Dr. Dre – “California Love”:]
“California Love”
[Notorious B.I.G. – “Juicy”:]
“It was all a dream I used to read Word Up magazine
Salt N' Peppa and Heavy D up in the limousine
Hangin' pictures on my wall
Every Saturday rap attack, Mr. Magick, Marley Marl”
[The Roots – “The Seed (2.0)”]
“Push my seed in my push for life
It's gonna work because I'm pushin it right
If Mary drop my baby girl tonight
I would name her Rock N'”
[Eminem – “My Name Is”:]
“Hi, my name is
What?
My name is
Who?
Jigga jigga Slim Shady”
[Missy Elliot – “Work It”:]
“Is it worth it, let me work it
I put by thing down flip it and reverse it
It's your fremme neppa venette
It's your fremme neppa venette”
[Soulja Boy – “Crank That (Soulja Boy)”:]
“Soulja Boy off in this oh
Watch me crank it, watch me roll
Watch me crank dat, Soulja Boy
Then Superman dat oh
Now watch me you
Crank dat, Soulja Boy
Now watch me you
Crank dat, Soulja Boy”
[T.I. feat. Rihanna – “Live Your Life”:]
“Mia ya hee, Miya ya ha, Miya ya hee, Miye ya ha ha
You've gotta live your life
Hey, Hey-ey eh-ey eh-ey
You steady chasin that paper”
[Sugar Hill Gang – “Rapper's Delight”:]
“I said a hip hop the hippie the hippie
To the hip hip hop