Muthu: Sir, how to spell VIP?
When they get the munchies, it's your a**!
Buffalo: Couldn't you help a brother out? I'm Santa Claus. You can't be a Christian.
Buffalo: Well, Merry Christmas, Jasper.::Jasper: Hmf. Merry Christmas to you, fat ass. Heya, at least look on the bright side. Stepdad number 2 got his magic mushroom kit.::Buffalo: That was a cow pie, you moron!::Jasper: Oh, yeah.
Plot
Based on the true story about Ryan Dunn (played by himself) and his ex-girlfriend Glauren (Jenn Rivell) and how she cheated on him. After the break up Glauren is rumored to have been hooking up with heavy metal Hellboy (Rake Yohn). Ryan enlists the help of his friends Valo (Bam Margera) and Falcone (Brandom Dicamillo) to find out the truth. They do whatever it takes to get the evidence, even if it meant breaking into her house. Meanwhile, Ryan has run-ins with the law and even gets stabbed in the eye with a fork. The movie also includes special appearances by pro-skaters Tony Hawk, Jason Ellis, and Bucky Lasek.
Keywords: actor-playing-multiple-roles, based-on-true-story, bicycle, camera, censored, chase, ex-girlfriend, eye-patch, female-frontal-nudity, female-nudity
Officer: I gotta take you in.::Valo: Aww, for the love of fucks sake, you CAN'T take him in.::Officer: I gotta make an arrest here; I had a complaint...::Valo: Whwhwhwh, wait, I got this sports watch, you can have it, here.
Glauren: What I need right now is heavy metal music, hard drinkin, mayhem, shit you can't offer me right now, okay Ryan?::Ryan Dunn: Who are you? You don't even like fast music - you don't even drink.::Glauren: [indignant] Yeah. Before I met Hellboy. You know what your problem is? You always want shit to stay the same, okay? I need to get out there. I wanna play the field - of dicks.::[beat]::Ryan Dunn: Eww.
Falcone: These... are girlfriend's... underwears.
Officer: Hellboy?::Ryan Dunn: Picture a guy named Hellboy... and that's what he looks like.
Hellyboy: What the fuck is that? Do I have a camera?
Ryan Dunn: That's a nice tattoo you got there. What does that mean?::Girl at Coffee Shop: It means desire.::Ryan Dunn: Desire huh? What the fuck does that mean? Does that mean you're into dudes with fuckin' long hair, smell like beer, have shitty tattoos; maybe they hang out at the bowling alley! Maybe, just maybe you'll go out back and rub their sick crotch; he'll stick his hands down your pants. Meanwhile, your boyfriend's sittin' at home jerkin off to fuckin' gay porn.
Glauren: Hellboy fucking fingered me.
[Glauren and Hellboy are having sex; Valo and Falcone are eavesdropping]::Glauren: Teenagers were meant to fuck.::Valo: Did she just say "teenagers were meant to fuck"?
Don Vito: No, what are you doin'? Those grapes ain't for you.
[while filming a home movie using a model train set and action figures]::Falcone: What are you guys doing, humping on the caboose?
Plot
Walt Koontz, a homophobic guy, ends up with paralyzed vocal cords because of an unfortunate stroke. His therapy includes receiving singing lessons from a neighbor who is not only openly flamboyant but also a pre-op transgenderist. Both of them are equally prejudiced; Koontz against homosexuals and the neighbor against close-minded straight people.
Keywords: actor, actress, adultery, african-american, aids, ambulance, american-indian-costume, artist, ashes, bank
Nobody's Perfect. Everybody's Flawless
They couldn't like each other less or need each other more.
Walt Koontz: I can't do it!::Rusty Zimmerman: Yeah? Well "can't" lives on "won't" street.
Cha-Cha: I shot my best friend in the tit with my cufflink!
Rusty Zimmerman: It costs a lot to look this cheap.
Rusty Zimmerman: Oh yeah? Well life's a bitch, so I became one, honey!
Rusty Zimmerman: God Bless you and Fuck Off.
Rusty Zimmerman: You're ashamed of us, but we're not ashamed of you. As long as you go down on your Banana Republican knees and suck dick, you're my sisters, and I love you. And fuck off!
EMS Technician: [entering ambulance] Oh I'm sorry, relatives only.::Rusty Zimmerman: I'm his sister.::Walt Koontz: ...He's my sister.
Rusty Zimmerman: Poor me, poor me, pour me another.
Rusty Zimmerman: Darling, I am more man than you will ever be, and more woman than you will ever get.
Rusty Zimmerman: [opens door] Oh let me guesss, a Jehovah's Witness?::Walt Koontz: I was wondering, uh if I could pay you for singing lessons?::Rusty Zimmerman: Oh hahaha, oh, honey,::[sudden serious voice]::Rusty Zimmerman: I'd rather suck Hitler's dead dick.::[slams door]::Walt Koontz: [shouts through door] I bet you already did!
Even Angels need a day off!
Stinky: Well it's quite simple, really. You see, people don't realize how up-to-date we are here. Now Santa determined that in this day and age the term "naughty and nice" means something quite different than it was originally intended. Naughty can be nice; nice can be naughty. And Santa, being the lusty fellow that he is, well, he likes to see his giftees in thier most honest state, which is their nicest and their naughtiest. Any questions?::Seasonal Help Temp: Huh?::Seasonal Help Temp: Yeah - what are you talking about?
Filmed in the capital cities of the world
An erotic odyssey
Three years in the making
...begins a new era of sexually enlightened motion pictures!
A Raging Inferno of Emotions!
Lesbian is a term most widely used in the English language to describe sexual and romantic desire between females. The word may be used as a noun, to refer to women who identify themselves or who are characterized by others as having the primary attribute of female homosexuality, or as an adjective, to describe characteristics of an object or activity related to female same-sex desire.
Lesbian as a concept, used to differentiate women with a shared sexual orientation, is a 20th-century construct. Throughout history, women have not had the freedom or independence to pursue homosexual relationships as men have, but neither have they met the harsh punishment in some societies as homosexual men. Instead, lesbian relationships have often been regarded as harmless and incomparable to heterosexual ones unless the participants attempted to assert privileges traditionally enjoyed by men. As a result, little in history has been documented to give an accurate description of how female homosexuality has been expressed. When early sexologists in the late 19th century began to categorize and describe homosexual behavior, hampered by a lack of knowledge about lesbianism or women's sexuality, they distinguished lesbians as women who did not adhere to female gender roles and designated them mentally ill.
Pop pop, bottles in the club, bottles in the club [x2]
Pop pop, bottles in the club, yes we can
I don't even care if you a lesbian
Pop pop, bottles in the club, bottles in the club [x2]
Pop pop, bottles in the club, yes we can
I don't even care if you a lesbian
So faded we start sleep walking
Hit it so good you start sleep talking
I'm pimping my bitch street walking
Way too popping, to be flopping
Copping all the most exotic shit
You don't like boys you like the opposite
Sexin' bimbos, threesomes with nymphos
Baby I ball, in and out of gym clothes
Get paper like kinkos
Stack chips like Pringles
We throw hundreds we don't ever throw singles
I'm balling, balling like free throws
Lemme see your titties
Lemme get a free show!
Pop pop, bottles in the club, bottles in the club [x2]
Pop pop, bottles in the club, yes we can
I don't even care if you a lesbian
Pop pop, bottles in the club, bottles in the club [x2]
Pop pop, bottles in the club, yes we can
I don't even care if you a lesbian
You kissed a girl and you liked it
You super women no sidekick
I'm aiming straight at your eyelid
Cover one eye like a pirate
The boys is back in town (Dannon)
Boys is back in town (Dannon)
We turning breezes out
Live good get down and dirty
I fill them out like surveys
143 I know word play
We sexin' like our birthday
Menaj-a-trois dropping draws
They hating I made another hit for the radio station!
Pop pop, bottles in the club, bottles in the club [x2]
Pop pop, bottles in the club, yes we can
I don't even care if you a lesbian
Pop pop, bottles in the club, bottles in the club [x2]
Pop pop, bottles in the club, yes we can
I don't even care if you a lesbian
To all the freaky ladies
I'll make all your dreams come true
Sexin like we rollin
What it, what it do
Touch her while I pop bottles
And warm her up for me
It just takes two to tango
But I'm preferring 3
Pop pop, bottles in the club, bottles in the club [x2]
Pop pop, bottles in the club, yes we can
I don't even care if you a lesbian
Pop pop, bottles in the club, bottles in the club [x2]
Pop pop, bottles in the club, yes we can
I don't even care if you a lesbian
Pop pop, bottles in the club, bottles in the club [x2]
Pop pop, bottles in the club, yes we can