Bullets. Blood. Bingo.
Plot
That's Carry on is a 'best of the carry on's' movie with Kenneth Williams and Barbara Windsor introducing clips from all the Carry On movies (from Carry on Sergeant to Carry on Behind). The two regulars converse at the Rank Film building to host the film, with their own running gags involving Barbara's "assets" and Kenneth's desperate need of a toilet!!!
Keywords: carry-on, independent-film, sequel
Everyone who's anyone is in it .. right in it!!! The best gags from the Carry On series
Plot
Shame, the ape man of the jungle, is aghast when his woman, June, is kidnapped by a gang of giant penises. They take her to their queen, Bazunga, a bald woman with fourteen breasts. After tangling with a gang of great white hunters, a marauding lion and the Molar Men, Shame sets off to rescue her with only his faithful friend Flicka at his side. He heads for that darkest of areas ..... Bush Country!
Keywords: adult-animation, africa, animated-sex, bestiality, cartoon-nudity, cartoon-sex, cartoon-spoof, cartoon-violence, cult-director, cult-film
First, there was "Fritz the Cat"...Then, "Heavy Traffic"...And now, THE FUNNIEST ADULT CARTOON EVER!
You're Gonna Laugh Your X Off
Brutish: If I ever get my hands on that fucking son of a bitch who built that fucking plane, I swear I'll rip his goddamn fucking face off! [observes the scenery] Jesus Christ where the fuck are we?, we're in the worst goddamn fucking shit hole I've ever seen!
Brutish: [after his assistant has been eaten by the Munchers] Hey what the fuck is going on here? The goddamn cage has gotten so goddamn heavy that I can hardly carry the goddamn fucking thing!, the sooner I get out of this goddamn shit hole the better, this fucking heat is un fucking believable, this fucking place is the asshole of the goddamn fucking univoise! [gets eaten by the Munchers] [now a skeleton] The goddamn fucking insects in the goddamn fucking swamp, in the goddamn fucking rain in the goddamn murderous sun, goddamnit! [dies]
Shame: Africa... where the web of life is spun from cheaper thread!::Shame: Africa... where elephants have a graveyard and men are left to rot where they fall!::Shame: Africa... where pestilence, carnage, and rapine are not disasters but a way of life!::Shame: Africa... dark flame that lures the ruthless human moths who lust for easy riches!::Shame: Africa... home of the fierce t'ungala warriors who have no word for "mercy"... or "wheel" or "calendar" or "disinfectant" or "light bulb", "printing press", "steam engine", "fork", "can opener", "telescope", "toiler paper", slow down, you're rolling it too fast! I can't read it if you roll it so fast!::Shame: That's better.::Shame: It is written that a wise man was once asked "What are the four principle products of Africa?" and, without hesitation he replied, "Gold, ivory, diamonds, and blood!"
Plot
Stodge City is in the grip of the Rumpo Kid and his gang. Mistaken identity again takes a hand as a "sanitary engineer" (plumber) by the name of Marshal P. Knutt is mistaken for a law marshal! Being the conscientious sort, Marshal tries to help the town get rid of Rumpo, and a showdown is inevitable. Marshal has two aids - revenge-seeking Annie Oakley and his sanitary expertise...
Keywords: carry-on, female-gunfighter, independent-film, sequel, street-shootout, western-spoof
THE STAMPEDE IS ON . . . and the Carry On Gang is wanted all over the west for leaving a trail of their brand of laughter!
How the west was hilariously lost!! [Australia]
How the west was lost!!
Sam: I never did get to know exactly what she'd done that was so wrong.::Judge Burke: Old Ben was a friend of mine Sam, and she killed him.::Doc: It was his own fault. He was ninety-two. I warned him not to marry her!
Big Heap: This is my squaw, Kitikata. I bought her for two buffalo skins.::Charlie: How.::Johnny Finger: Never mind how, where!
Johnny Finger: [addressing the Indian chief] How! Me-um heap big paleface chief from-um Stodge City. Me-um salute-um big chief. Me-um want-um pow-wow.::Big Heap: [speaking perfect English] I say, you do talk funny. You must be foreigners.
Belle Armitage: [admiring his gun] My, but you got a big one!::Johnny Finger: I'm from Texas, ma'am. We all got big ones down there.
Johnny Finger: [the opening scene after he shoots the three men] I wonder what they wanted?
Johnny Finger: What's the matter? What have I done wrong?::Sheriff Albert Earp: You just killed three men, mister.::Johnny Finger: I know that, but what have I done wrong?
Perkins: It's another telegram from Stodge City, sir. Judge Burke. He's the mayor there, you know.::Commissioner: Burke? Oh yeah, I remember him in law school. He's a bum.::Perkins: I didn't know you studied at law school, sir.::Commissioner: I didn't. I was the janitor.
Commissioner: Send him a Marshall. Anything for peace.::Perkins: That's just the trouble, sir. We haven't any available.::Commissioner: Nobody? What about that big head who's always hanging around here looking for work? What's his name? Dillon. What's he doing?::Perkins: Six months.
Johnny Finger: I once talked peace with a Sioux, but you can't trust them. One moment it was peace on, the next it was peace off.
Plot
Quilp ('Hay Petrie' (qv)) is a money-lender who persecutes Little Nell('Elaine Benson (I)' (qv)) and her grandfather ('Ben Webster (I)' (qv)), finally taking over their curiosity shop. Simultaneously, the grandfather's long-lost brother, now wealthy, is seeking the pair who flee before the menacing Quilp, and Nell and her grandfather join a wax works exhibition.
Keywords: based-on-novel, charles-dickens
Samantha Zoe Womack (née Janus; born 2 November 1972) is an English actress, singer and director, both on television and stage. In recent years she has been best known for playing the role of Ronnie Branning in EastEnders, but made her name in the mid 1990s as Mandy Wilkins in Game On, and also represented the United Kingdom in the Eurovision Song Contest 1991. She is currently the star of the award winning show South Pacific, touring the UK with the cast and gaining the most impressive reviews of her career so far. Samantha is patron to Expressions Performing Arts in Mansfield, Nottinghamshire.
Janus was born in Brighton, Sussex. Her father Noel left the family when she was three, and soon after her mother Diane married a doctor and the family moved to Edinburgh. She has a younger sister, Zoe. Janus lived on the QE2 with her grandmother for a short time. On 23 August 2009, her 60-year-old estranged father was found hanged in the bathroom of his council flat in Brighton, where he lived alone. It is believed he committed suicide.
Here's a little story 'bout regret
Doesn't have an ending, it's not finished yet
But from what I know this far it's just a peep at who
we are
And an incomplete sentence that you said
Now it's time to terminate our trust
Even though to you and me it doesn't matter much
We can close our eyes and picture better days ahead
Even now the phone begins to ring
And our life hangs on a string
And today we start to learn just what that means
And somehow we're faced with the fact
That you won't ever get this back
This story's short just like I said
Can't seem to get it through my thick head
Started out with hope and now the ending is
suppressed
Smothered like a fire in your dreams
Or will we burn for you tomorrow in your dreams
Or will we pass out in the airport like a freak upon
your seat