The King of Queens

Taking place in Rego Park, Queens, New York, a blue-collar married couple, Doug, a deliveryman, and Carrie, a secretary at a law firm, who both live with Carrie's oddball father, Arthur, try to make the best of what they got while trying to make their marriage somewhat normal and getting through tiny problems that they have together, even the occasional run-in with Carrie's father.

Cast

• Kevin James
• Leah Remini
• Victor Williams
• Jerry Stiller
• Patton Oswalt
• Gary Valentine
• Nicole Sullivan
• Merrin Dungey
• Larry Romano
• Jenny O'Hara
• Dakin Matthews
• Alex Skuby
• Lou Ferrigno
• Jimmy Shubert
• Sam McMurray
• Gerry Black
• Nikki Tyler-Flynn
• Ford Rainey
• Christine Gonzales
• Marshaun Daniel
• Tyler Hendrickson
• Pamela Kosh

• Season 1
• Episode 1: Pilot
  Arthur Spooner: I got two words for you: I'm saying right here!::Carrie Spooner Heffernan: That's fo...
• Episode 2: Fat City
  Carrie Heffernan: Honey, could you pass the, um, "I Can't Believe It's Not Salad Dressing?"...
• Episode 3: Cello, Goodbye
  Arthur Spooner: Oh, sorry. I was just remembering a little girl with pigtails and braces on her teet...
• Episode 4: Richie's Song
  USA:12 October 1998...
• Episode 5: Paternal Affairs
  Carrie Heffernan: Hey! I know I have to die someday, but I'm gonna be really pissed off if it's toda...
• Episode 6: Head First
  Spence Olchin: Oh, I feel like Anne Frank....
• Episode 7: The Rock
  Arthur Spooner: [as he gets out of a hot tub, naked] It's called gravity, Douglas, and it's coming f...
• Episode 8: Educating Doug
  [Doug, Carrie and Arthur are in the car]::Arthur Spooner: Hey, pull over I need to use the John.::Ca...
• Episode 9: Road Rayge
  The first time members of the Barone family appeared on the show....
• Episode 10: Supermarket Story
  Carrie Heffernan: If I put my mind to it, I can mash, shuck, and jive and all that, don't you think?...
• Episode 11: Noel Cowards
  Carrie Heffernan: Hey! I know I have to die someday, but I'm gonna be really pissed off if it's toda...
• Episode 12: Fixer Upper
  Carrie Heffernan: Don't you think Spence needs a date?::Doug Heffernan: No. He's got a very nice rou...
• Episode 13: Best Man
  This is the first episode with 'Merrin Dungey' (qv) as Kelly Palmer. Kelly (Deacons wife) was only m...
• Episode 14: Dog Days
  [Doug and Carrie can't sleep because of the neighbors' dog]::Doug Heffernan: You know, as long as we...
• Episode 15: Crappy Birthday
  [reading her birthday card]::Carrie Heffernan: You are my bilgistic pile of love meat. Love, Doug....
• Episode 16: S'ain't Valentine's
  Richie Iannucci: [Beeper goes off] Oh, it's my beeper. Ah, large fire. I need to go.::Deacon Palmer:...
• Episode 17: Court Date
  Doug Heffernan: You cut off a school bus?::Carrie Heffernan: They were fifth graders. It's not like ...
• Episode 18: White Collar
  Doug Heffernan: [ENTERING HOSPITAL ROOM HOLDING "WORD SEARCH" BOOK, TO COMATOSE CO-WORKER] "Hey, I b...
• Episode 19: Rayny Day
  Arthur Spooner: What? Three people can't play golf together? It's not sex, for God's sake!...
• Episode 20: Train Wreck
  Julie: Hey, is one of you guys Doug Heffernan?::Doug Heffernan: That would be me.::Julie: Hi I'm Jul...
• Episode 21: Hungry Man
  [Arthur is playing chess by himself in the basement and hears Spence entering the kitchen]::Arthur S...
• Episode 22: Time Share
  USA:26 April 1999...
• Episode 23: Where's Poppa
  Doug says he'd settle for the woman who does Carrie's nails. This is his real-life wife....
• Episode 24: Art House
  USA:10 May 1999...
• Episode 25: Maybe Baby
  [about having a baby]::Carrie Heffernan: Let's leave it in the hands of God.::Doug Heffernan: What?:...
• Season 2
• Episode 1: Queasy Rider
  Arthur Spooner: Darling, I need to borrow the iron.::Carrie Heffernan: Dad, I told you, if you want ...
• Episode 2: Female Problems
  Arthur Spooner: I thought ironic meant made up entirely of iron....
• Episode 3: Assaulted Nuts
  USA:4 October 1999...
• Episode 4: Parent Trapped
  [Arthur will only sell a little troll doll to Carrie for 50 bucks]::Carrie Heffernan: Okay, this is ...
• Episode 5: Tube Steaks
  USA:18 October 1999...
• Episode 6: Doug Out
  Doug has to pick Arthur up from his job, because Carrie is working late. On the way home, Arthur tal...
• Episode 7: Get Away
  USA:1 November 1999...
• Episode 8: Dire Strayts
  RAT:1.33 : 1...
• Episode 9: I, Candy
  USA:15 November 1999...
• Episode 10: Roamin' Holiday
  Carrie Spooner Heffernan: [after Arthur asks why Spence is seating in his seat at breakfast] Spence ...
• Episode 11: Sparing Carrie
  Doug, Carrie, Deacon, Spence, and Richie all are on Cooper's bowling team. Their team is mediocre. T...
• Episode 12: Net Prophets
  USA:13 December 1999...
• Episode 13: Party Favor
  Doug's cousin Danny is getting married but Danny does not have a best man. Carrie volunteers Doug as...
• Episode 14: Block Buster
  Doug invites his old high school championship football team to his house to have a party. Doug tells...
• Episode 15: Frozen Pop
  When Doug and Carrie wake up on on the "balmy" morning, the alarm clock news anchor says the radio s...
• Episode 16: Fair Game
  Doug Heffernan: You know what I really love about being married to you?::Carrie Heffernan: Not havin...
• Episode 17: Meet By-Product
  Lynn: Do you... you know, get in to a lot of fights at the club?::Doug Heffernan: Well, you know, it...
• Episode 18: The Shmenkmans
  Doug Heffernan: [Doug and Carrie gain confidence to join Deacon and Kelly who are on a double date w...
• Episode 19: Surprise Artie
  USA:28 February 2000...
• Episode 20: Wild Cards
  USA:6 March 2000...
• Episode 21: Big Dougie
  Doug Heffernan: Do you think I'm a big sack of crap?::Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Have you been readin...
• Episode 22: Soft Touch
  In spite of all Carrie's efforts to avoid them, annoying neighbors Tim and Dorothy manage to invite ...
• Episode 23: Restaurant Row
  In the opening scene, Doug has locked his keys in his car and is offered help by a locksmith with th...
• Episode 24: Flower Power
  USA:15 May 2000...
• Episode 25: Whine Country
  USA:22 May 2000...
• Season 3
• Episode 1: Do Rico
  USA:2 October 2000...
• Episode 2: Roast Chicken
  RAT:1.33 : 1...
• Episode 3: Fatty McButterpants
  When Doug learns that Carrie is buying him clothing from the "Big and Tall Shop", he is now determin...
• Episode 4: Class Struggle
  When Carrie spends a night out with some of her colleagues, she finds out that they are more success...
• Episode 5: Strike One
  Doug Heffernan: Our peice of crap car broke down right in the middle of the crap crappity crap crap ...
• Episode 6: Strike Too
  It is week two of the IPS strike, and Doug still has not gotten a job. To get back on his feet, his ...
• Episode 7: Strike Out
  It is week three of the IPS strike, and Doug has just been hanging around the house for all three of...
• Episode 8: Dark Meet
  RAT:1.33 : 1...
• Episode 9: Twisted Sitters
  When Kelly's great aunt dies, both Deacon and her have to go to Chicago and they have no one to watc...
• Episode 10: Work Related
  USA:4 December 2000...
• Episode 11: Better Camera
  [Arthur gave Lou Ferrigno a copy of his screenplay]::Lou Ferrigno: Well, Arthur, I read "Reconsideri...
• Episode 12: Wedding Presence
  Doug and Carrie run into an annoying couple who are happening to get married. The couple invite them...
• Episode 13: Hi-Def Jam
  Stephanie Heffernan: I don't think I've ever seen so many marionettes before....
• Episode 14: Paint Misbehavin'
  'Larry Romano' (qv)'s final appearance on the show....
• Episode 15: Deacon Blues
  Arthur Spooner: So I looked her square in the eye and said, "Ma'am, you are undoubtedly the most fet...
• Episode 16: Horizontal Hold
  USA:19 February 2001...
• Episode 17: Inner Tube
  Doug lies to Carrie about having to work late so he can play mud football and get out of going to he...
• Episode 18: Papa Pill
  [Carrie and Doug picked Arthur up in a bar]::Carrie Heffernan: I got to be honest with you dad, okay...
• Episode 19: Package Deal
  Doug receives an offer from FedEx and tells his IPS boss that if he wont give Doug a better route th...
• Episode 20: Separation Anxiety
  RAT:1.33 : 1...
• Episode 21: Departure Time
  Doug's parents are coming in town so Doug and Carrie decide to go and pick them up at the airport an...
• Episode 22: Swim Neighbors
  After a big storm Doug and Carrie catch their annoying neighbors in their backyard cleaning up the a...
• Episode 23: S'no Job
  USA:14 May 2001...
• Episode 24: Pregnant Pause: Part 1
  USA:21 May 2001...
• Episode 25: Pregnant Pause: Part 2
  Marilyn: I assume you're taking folic acid.::Carrie Heffernan: Well, I took some at a Metallica conc...
• Season 4
• Episode 1: Walk, Man
  Doug Heffernan: How was..."spinning"?::Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Great- I feel happy, healthy, and m...
• Episode 2: Sight Gag
  Doug makes a telephone call to Dr. Weithorn's office, where Carrie had her laser eye surgery. Michae...
• Episode 3: Mean Streak
  Doug Heffernan: You see, it's not about me. It's really about what's best for the company, the team....
• Episode 4: Friender Bender
  While going to the movies, Doug and Deacon pass a strip club. Doug is distracted by Deacon's comment...
• Episode 5: No Retreat
  Kaplan: You a climber Doug?::Doug Heffernan: Ya, ya a little bit, ya.::Kaplan: There's nothing like ...
• Episode 6: Ticker Treat
  On Halloween, Doug buys a pumpkin for the tricker treaters. Arthur comes in the kitchen and smashes ...
• Episode 7: Lyin' Hearted
  While Arthur is in the hospital getting Angioplasty, Carrie and Doug go through his room to find his...
• Episode 8: Life Sentence
  When Arthur comes home from his operation, Doug and Carrie decide to install a nanny-cam to watch ov...
• Episode 9: Veiled Threat
  This episode is set before Doug and Carrie's marriage. Carrie is very nervous to be married to Doug....
• Episode 10: Oxy Moron
  When Doug and Carrie's plane makes a rough landing, Doug takes the oxygen mask all for himself. Howe...
• Episode 11: Depo Man
  Carrie Heffernan: [Watching Doug mix his cereals] What are you doing?::Doug Heffernan: Simple. I'm m...
• Episode 12: Ovary Action
  It's Christmas and Carrie get another negative pregnancy test. So Doug and her go to a fertility doc...
• Episode 13: Food Fight
  Carrie Heffernan: [catching 'food-unfaithful' Doug who is sneakily devouring the leftovers of Becky'...
• Episode 14: Double Downer
  Doug Heffernan: Salsa dancing? That's got 'split my pants' written all over it....
• Episode 15: Dougie Nights
  Doug Heffernan: They're helpless antelopes and we're lions in the grass... Let the hunt begin....
• Episode 16: No Orleans
  When Doug and Carrie find an old check in a wedding present, they need to invite Doug's annoying rel...
• Episode 17: Missing Links
  Carrie's work has an annual golf trip, but Doug and Carrie used to always take Deacon and Kelly. Now...
• Episode 18: Hero Worship
  His uncle Stu seems to like Doug much more than he likes his own son Danny and when Doug tells him i...
• Episode 19: Screwed Driver
  Spence Olchin: [to Doug's mother] Excuse me, Mrs. Heffernan; can I use the restroom?::Joe Heffernan:...
• Episode 20: Lush Life
  [Carrie put Doug on a diet and wants to eat a pizza herself]::Carrie Heffernan: Oh, have your stupid...
• Episode 21: Bun Dummy
  Doug and Spence have a high school reunion, but Spence doesn't want to go because he had a relations...
• Episode 22: Patrons Ain't
  Doug and Carrie make a charitable contribution to Robert Hoover School. There is no explanation of w...
• Episode 23: Eddie Money
  Doug and Deacon bet 100 dollars on a fight that they are not allowed to bet on. They win 5,000 dolla...
• Episode 24: Two Thirty
  Doug's dentist is in the Weithorn Medical Center. The building's name is very likely an inside joke ...
• Episode 25: Shrink Wrap
  Arthur Spooner: I would like a parrot and name him Douglass.::[Later]::Arthur Spooner: I would like ...
• Season 5
• Episode 1: Arthur, Spooner
  Holly asks Doug if she can get a raise for walking Arthur, while Carrie gets a promotion on being th...
• Episode 2: Window Pain
  Doug and Carrie get new neighbors who are really clean cut and high class people. When they get to k...
• Episode 3: Holy Mackerel
  Doug Heffernan: Mahi mahi is for me-hi me-hi....
• Episode 4: Kirbed Enthusiasm
  USA:14 October 2002...
• Episode 5: Mammary Lane
  USA:21 October 2002...
• Episode 6: Business Affairs
  USA:28 October 2002...
• Episode 7: Flame Resistant
  When Doug and Carrie go out to lunch they run into Doug's ex-girlfriend from high school. Doug's mom...
• Episode 8: Flash Photography
  USA:11 November 2002...
• Episode 9: Connect Four
  When Carrie wins four tickets for a month to Knicks games, Doug and her struggle to find another cou...
• Episode 10: Loaner Car
  Doug Heffernan: [reading Major's story about Thanksgiving] We used to have Thanksgiving as a family....
• Episode 11: Mentalo Case
  USA:16 December 2002...
• Episode 12: Jung Frankenstein
  USA:6 January 2003...
• Episode 13: Attention Deficit
  The Super Bowl is coming and Doug wants to throw a Super Bowl party at his house, but everyone has a...
• Episode 14: Prints Charming
  Doug and Carrie go to the supermarket and pick up their developed pictures, however they get another...
• Episode 15: Animal Attraction
  Doug has to cancel dinner with Carrie on valentines day because IPS is having him deliver penguins t...
• Episode 16: Golden Moldy
  Arthur Spooner: What do we have here?::Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Vacation brochures. It looks like w...
• Episode 17: S'Poor House
  In this episode, 'Anne Meara' (qv) replaces 'Grace Zabriskie' (qv) as Spence's mother....
• Episode 18: Steve Moscow
  USA:10 March 2003...
• Episode 19: Cowardly Lyin'
  Carrie gets tickets to an opera but Doug doesn't want to go, so he has Deacon help him lie to get ou...
• Episode 20: Driving Reign
  Danny becomes an IPS driver and Doug gets upset because he feels that Danny is always following in D...
• Episode 21: Clothes Encounter
  Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Well, you said we should get ourselves something that says "we done good" ...
• Episode 22: Queens'bro Bridge
  USA:28 April 2003...
• Episode 23: Dog Shelter
  Arthur Spooner: Needless to say... you're dead to me....
• Episode 24: Taste Buds
  While looking for a video in the video store Carrie doesn't want to see the films Doug has found but...
• Episode 25: Bed Spread
  Doug and Carrie's bed breaks down and as a temporary solution they borrow the beds from Deacon's chi...
• Season 6
• Episode 1: Doug Less I
  Danny Heffernan: [Danny and Spence are housesitting for Doug and Carrie and are fighting over who ge...
• Episode 2: Doug Less II
  After Doug loses some major weight, he decides to take Carrie to the same vacation spot he did 10 ye...
• Episode 3: King Pong
  Arthur gets a ping pong table and asks Doug to play. Doug basically knows he has already won the gam...
• Episode 4: Dreading Vows
  During a romantic dinner, Doug is inspired to proclaim his love to Carrie. Carrie is taken by his ge...
• Episode 5: Nocturnal Omission
  Doug Heffernan: [after leaving Deacon's apartment where a smoking-hot stewardess is waiting, to Deac...
• Episode 6: Affidavit Justice
  Doug pretends to be a lawyer in order to play on the softball team of Carrie's work. When confrontin...
• Episode 7: Secret Garden
  Carrie Spooner Heffernan: [looking at online pictures of a grill company webpage] So, where is the g...
• Episode 8: Eggsit Strategy
  USA:19 November 2003...
• Episode 9: Thanks, Man
  This is the first episode in which 'Desmond Roberts (II)' (qv) plays Major Palmer. His older brother...
• Episode 10: American Idle
  USA:3 December 2003...
• Episode 11: Santa Claustrophobia
  It's Christmas and Arthur wants to have a Christmas card sent out with a photo of him and a few clos...
• Episode 12: Dougie Houser
  The rocket-pack that Doug wears is NOT the same prop that was used in the film _The Rocketeer (1991)...
• Episode 13: Frigid Heirs
  The refrigerator is broken, but since Carrie still doesn't have a job, Doug and Carrie can't buy a n...
• Episode 14: Switch Sitters
  After an evening of babysitting Major and Kirby, Carrie jokingly tells Deacon and Kelly they should ...
• Episode 15: Cheap Saks
  Carrie has talked Doug into going to an art gallery. Deacon and Spence also came along. While Spence...
• Episode 16: Damned Yanky
  When Carrie asks Doug to take out the trash and he says he is in pain, Carrie thinks he is lying and...
• Episode 17: Multiple Plots
  Doug Heffernan: [Carrie is making Doug pancakes for breakfast before he goes to work]::Doug Hefferna...
• Episode 18: Trash Talker
  Arthur Spooner: Douglas, there's no shame in being a trash can licker....
• Episode 19: Precedent Nixin'
  Doug and Carrie go on spring break holiday to Doug's parents. Carrie hates sleeping at their house w...
• Episode 20: Foe: Pa
  Carrie Heffernan: Any sign of my dad?::Doug Heffernan: No. I thought I saw him in the park, but it w...
• Episode 21: Tank Heaven
  Carrie Heffernan: Emily and Peter blew us off again tonight.::Doug Heffernan: Really? That's weird.:...
• Episode 22: Alter Ego
  RAT:1.33 : 1...
• Episode 23: Icky Shuffle
  Arthur Spooner: So your mother sleeps around, what else is new?...
• Episode 24: Awful Bigamy
  Doug Heffernan: Hey Arthur, come on up for breakfast. You know I can't start my day without my two s...
• Season 7
• Episode 1: Lost Vegas
  Deacon Palmer: How could you possibly think there'd be valet parking at a diner in Ohio?::Danny Heff...
• Episode 2: Dugan Groupie
  While Doug has a barbecue evening planned with her, Carrie has too much work to do to be able to bar...
• Episode 3: Furious Gorge
  The episode's title is a reference to "Curious George", a character created by 'Margret Rey' (qv) an...
• Episode 4: Entertainment Weakly
  [to Carrie]::Doug Heffernan: Try and keep it together here, and know that I'm not mad at you, I'm ma...
• Episode 5: Name Dropper
  USA:1 December 2004...
• Episode 6: Offtrack... Bedding
  USA:8 December 2004...
• Episode 7: Silent Mite
  Carrie Heffernan: Ok Doug, you know what? This year I don't want a Christmas present. All I want is ...
• Episode 8: Awed Couple
  Renee: [to Carrie about a jacket she bought] That salesman had a real attitude, if I didn't want thi...
• Episode 9: Cologne Ranger
  USA:12 January 2005...
• Episode 10: Domestic Disturbance
  USA:19 January 2005...
• Episode 11: Pour Judgment
  USA:26 January 2005...
• Episode 12: Gym Neighbors
  Danny Heffernan: Maybe you should get Lou the Spiderman 2 game.::Doug Heffernan: Yeah, I'm going to ...
• Episode 13: Gorilla Warfare
  Doug Heffernan: [erratically caressing his stomach, his wrist watch catches something] Nipple!...
• Episode 14: Hi, School
  USA:23 February 2005...
• Episode 15: Deconstructing Carrie
  Carrie turns 35 which is problematic for everybody. Arthur hasn't got any money to buy her a gift. W...
• Episode 16: Black List
  USA:16 March 2005...
• Episode 17: Wish Boned
  It's Arthurs birthday and to avoid spending time with Arthur, Doug calls himself on his own cell pho...
• Episode 18: Van, Go
  Doug Heffernan: Think I can take her?::Deacon Palmer: Listen, I love you and I believe in you. If yo...
• Episode 19: Ice Cubed
  There's a blizzard in Queens so Carrie hurries to buy herself an I-pod, but when the clerk doesn't r...
• Episode 20: Catching Hell
  USA:20 April 2005...
• Episode 21: Slippery Slope
  USA:9 May 2005...
• Episode 22: Buy Curious
  Arthur Spooner: Douglas; would this be a good time to talk about my psoriosis?::Doug Heffernan: Arth...
• Season 8
• Episode 1: Pole Lox
  Spence Olchin: Where do you want to go for dinner? Can I talk you into Ethiopian?::Arthur Spooner: I...
• Episode 2: Vocal Discord
  [playing with Carrie's automatic transcription software]::Arthur Spooner: We have nothing to fear bu...
• Episode 3: Consummate Professional
  Doug doesn't get a raise at his IPS job and Carrie gets upset because she knows that he has been wor...
• Episode 4: Like Hell
  When Doug doesn't get invited to his new co-worker Jared's barbecue party, he tries to understand wh...
• Episode 5: Sandwiched Out
  Carrie Heffernan: Did you ever have a friend whose life sucked so bad it made you feel better about ...
• Episode 6: Shear Torture
  [Spence has decided not to take Lou Ferrigno to a Sci-Fi convention because Adam West agreed to go]:...
• Episode 7: Inn Escapable
  When Doug surprises Carrie to a relaxing get away to a bed and breakfast, it doesn't turn out the wa...
• Episode 8: Move Doubt
  One of their neighbors move and Doug and Carrie knew that Deacon and Kelly are looking for a place, ...
• Episode 9: G'Night Stalker
  Carrie drags Doug to a karaoke bar and when he gets up on stage he is very nervous, but he starts fe...
• Episode 10: Raygin' Bulls
  Doug Heffernan: Let's shake things up a bit.::Ray Barone: You wanna get a pizza?::Doug Heffernan: No...
• Episode 11: Baker's Doesn't
  Arthur Spooner: I'll handle the lyrics, and you look like the sort who can write music.::Spence Olch...
• Episode 12: Fresh Brood
  Danny is babysitting the baby of his ex-girlfriend and doesn't want Doug to hold her. Doug tells Car...
• Episode 13: Gambling N' Diction
  Carrie wants a promotion at her work, but her boss says the committee won't hire her because of the ...
• Episode 14: Apartment Complex
  Doug and his friends get an apartment above a Chinese restaurant in order to be away from the women ...
• Episode 15: Buggie Nights
  Doug and Carrie watch part of Lagaan in the newspaper vendor's stall....
• Episode 16: Knee Jerk
  Arthur Spooner: Shame on you, Carrie. I've pushed tons of people down the stairs, but damn it, I alw...
• Episode 17: Present Tense
  Lou Ferrigno: Arthur borrowed 30 dollar from me and he said he'd pay me back today.::Doug Heffernan:...
• Episode 18: Sold-Y Locks
  Carrie Heffernan: You're my husband. You're supposed to protect me.::Doug Heffernan: I never agreed ...
• Episode 19: Emotional Rollercoaster
  Carrie Heffernan: Doug can't be happy with his life, wearing short pants to work and dragging packag...
• Episode 20: Four Play
  Arthur Spooner: I couldn't help overhearing - I was eavesdropping.::Gloria: No offense, but I'm not ...
• Episode 21: Hartford Wailer
  Carrie Heffernan: Didn't you get my message?::Doug Heffernan: No, my phone's on vibrate, I left it i...
• Episode 22: Fight Schlub
  Carrie Heffernan: Doug, did you see my blue camisol?::Doug Heffernan: I'd be more help if I knew wha...
• Episode 23: Acting Out
  Arthur Spooner: How dare you go through my personal things!::Doug Heffernan: You go through my stuff...
• Season 9
• Episode 1: Mama Cast
  Charlotte: There's this really cute boy at school.::Carrie Heffernan: Michael?::Charlotte: Yeah, but...
• Episode 2: Affair Trade
  Doug Heffernan: She called last night and, uh, well, we talked.::Deacon Palmer: Well, why didn't you...
• Episode 3: Moxie Moron
  Doug Heffernan: I might get fired!::Carrie Heffernan: Don't worry, you'll get better.::Doug Hefferna...
• Episode 4: Major Disturbance
  'Austin Astrup' (qv) takes over the role of Major Palmer from 'Desmond Roberts (II)' (qv)....
• Episode 5: Ruff Goin'
  USA...
• Episode 6: Brace Yourself
  USA...
• Episode 7: Home Cheapo
  USA...
• Episode 8: Offensive Fowl
  [Spence enters carrying a large sign]::Deacon Palmer: How's the new job?::Spence Olchin: How do you ...
• Episode 9: Mild Bunch
  'Adam Sandler (I)' (qv)'s character is named for one of the executive producers of the show, 'Jeff S...
• Episode 10: Manhattan Project
  When Carrie discovers the apartment she wanted when they first got married is now affordable, Carrie...
• Episode 11: Single Spaced
  USA...
• Episode 12: China Syndrome, Parts 1 and 2
  Arthur was married three times. First wife was Sophia (Carrie's mother), who died, second wife, Lily...

• Lyrics: play full screen play karaoke
• The King - Therion
• The King - Accept
• The King - Weihnachtslieder
• The King - Lecrae
• The King - Piebald
• The King - Loreena McKennitt
• The King - Angel Dust
• The King - Watashi-Wa
• The King - Arachnes
• The King - Passafire
• The King - Hard-Fi
• The King - Cydonia
• The King - Eternal Ryte
• The King - Odyssea
• The King - Amatorski
• The King - Steeleye Span
• The King - Strawbs

He was a leader of a small gang
Commiting crimes each day
But time has changed where he was proud
It's a far away
He took living easy, his bad reputation
Oh it was known all around
But he didn't care no, he made dirty money
Now he is down and out
Thought he knew the tricks of life
Prowling in the dark
Now he's left by all his friends
'cause he lived apart, of them
He was a leader, malicious and violent
His fame is covered with blood
Now he's just a number, he lost all his power
The king has lost his face
Down down down, though the king lost his crown
Caught and sentenced, he was guilty
Down down down, though the king lost his crown
It's too late- far too high
Late far too high
He was a leader of a small gang
Commiting crimes each day
But time has changed where he was proud
It's a far away
He took living easy, his bad reputation
Oh it was known all around
But he didn't care no, he made dirty money
Now he is down and out
Down down down, though the king lost his crown
Caught and sentenced, he was guilty
Down down down, though the king lost his crown
It's too late- far too high
Down down down, though the king lost his crown
Caught and sentenced, he was guilty
Down down down, though the king lost his crown
It's too late- far too high

Commiting crimes each day
But time has changed where he was proud
It's a far away
He took living easy, his bad reputation
Oh it was known all around
But he didn't care no, he made dirty money
Now he is down and out
Thought he knew the tricks of life
Prowling in the dark
Now he's left by all his friends
'Cause he lived apart, of them
He was a leader, malicious and violent
His fame is covered with blood
Now he's just a number, he lost all his power
The king has lost his face
Down down down, though the king lost his crown
Caught and sentenced, he was guilty
Down down down, though the king lost his crown
It's too late - far too high
Late far too high

Health, love and peace
Be all here in this place
By your leave we shall sing,
Concerning our King.
2. Our King is well-dressed
In silks of the best
In ribbons so rare
No king can compare.
3. We have travelled many miles
Over hedges and stiles,
In search of our King
Unto you we bring.
4. We have powder and shot
To conquer the lot,
We have cannon and ball
To conquer them all.
5. Old Christmas is past,
Twelve tide is the last
And we bid you adieu,
Great joy to the new.

(feat. Flame)
Yeah ok see uh it's a lot of cats goin around talkin bout they the king, ya know what i'm sayin the king of this the king of that well i think we need to get this straight there's only one true king, ay Flame come help ya boy out man let's get into this one man yeah
(Lecrae- Verse 1
He was raised up in Nazareth and raised on the THIZZERD
Never got drunk, got high, or sipped SYZZURP
Prophecy King Isaiah 9 that's the WIZZORD
He's da real king and it don't matter what ya HIZZERD
The king's a real shepard dawg acts in peoples favor yall
Not a self seekin playa all about the paper dawg
Call em the Messiah, the annointed one the Savior, bruh
Caught Him on the humble but you'll see him reign later bruh
These self proclaimed kings braggin cuz they ON CHROME
But twenty sixes inches is a PRETTY LOW THRONE
Like kids playin in they daddy's clothes when he's gone
The clothes don't fit, and daddy's comin back home
Really this is foolish mayn you don't wanna do this mayn
The king of kings is comin back, the theocratic ruler mayn
What if you should pass away and see him on a laster day
Your reign don't make a deal so really what is there you have to say
Chorus 2X
WHO DA KANG? (HE DA KANG)
WHO DA KANG? (HE DA KANG)
WHO DA KANG? (HE DA KANG, JESUS CHRIST RULE DIS THANG!)
WHO DA KANG? (HE DA KANG)
WHO DA KANG? (HE DA KANG)
WHO DA KANG? (JESUS CHRIST RUN IT MAYN!)
Lecrae: We talkin bout the Sovreign Ruler dawg. Ay Flame man, why don't you enlighten us to who the king is dawg? Let's get it
(Flame- Verse 2
Oh how excellent is his essence we reverence his name (ooh)
While silly peasants we presently tryna steal his fame
You carry 45s AKs king of the tools
But you can't make a day
You can't take away from da king of the Jews
See what about the major day
When you face to face with yes you know who
We wanna be a king with bling and do major things
But He supremely rules
You must be jokin you smokin plus u buyin that buddha (ooh)
Why defy him when you can rely on the lion of judah?
Supreme ruler shinin brighter than jacob the jeweler's (ooh)
Jewelry, cuz it's true indeed he's savin us through the
Cross of christ and that's true
Follow him lose ya life and that's true
Gain new life, ya got to let loose
Of your own throne and follow Jesus
Rollin big whips don't make you no king
Rollin them spliffs don't make you no king
Pretty mixed screens don't make you no king
Smokin those kis don't make you no king
See you can run a trap own a house and smoke black and milds (ooh)
You'll be a king when you can do things like roll back the clouds (ooh)
Chorus 2X
WHO DA KANG? (HE DA KANG)
WHO DA KANG? (HE DA KANG)
WHO DA KANG? (HE DA KANG, JESUS CHRIST RULE DIS THANG!)
WHO DA KANG? (HE DA KANG)
WHO DA KANG? (HE DA KANG)
WHO DA KANG? (JESUS CHRIST RUN IT MAYN!)

The king he sat in a chair of gold
and let life let him be
his daughter sat by his side most nights
to keep him company
the wise man and the alcamist
looked over the charts and graphs
inconclusive, they're inconclusive, hopefully this will pass
the jester said, i tried to make him laugh
The party was thrown for the king that night
and they tried to raise the dead
the golden chair still occupied
by the king's resting head
the daughter danced with the alcamist
and of course the wise man spoke
the jester said, hey king it's time for a little joke
no response, i think the king is broke
some weeks have passed and his subjects have
all but given up
people were tired of forcing the king
to try and live it up
the morning sun and the alcamist
watched the king make his first move
the king stood up, stretched a bit
said, i've got nothing to prove
listen up, i've got nothing to prove
and i, i just need some time off
i need some time off from all of this
yeah
and i, i just need some time off
i need some time off from all of this

Traditional English
Health, love and peace be all here in this place
By your leave we shall sing, concerning our King.
Our King is well-dressed in silks of the best
In ribbons so rare no king can compare.
We have travelled many miles over hedges and stiles,
In search of our King unto you we bring.
We have powder and shot to conquer the lot,
We have cannon and ball to conquer them all.
Old Christmas is past, twelve tide is the last

Seventh day restless I wait
yes I wait for the right word
twelve o'clock this is my time
time to change to the nightbird and like
a snake I am winding myself into tight jeans
the look on my face's gonna make all the
girls know what I mean
I come in the music stops
and you see everyone turning
then I walk cool as I can
straight to the bar and start smoking
I feel hot looks in my back
and I'll soon chose my victim
I am the king and my right is to show you
what I need
You know here I am again
it's my show
now I'm back on the road
so show action and go
I think of the time that I waisted
how can you tell till you've tasted?
Why nobody told me I'm wrong
I can not be
can not be king all my life
solo
My straight face is lying about motions
that live in my heart
like a figure of stone
I am waiting for you to start
You know here I am again
it's my show
now I'm back on the road
I think of the time that I waisted
how how can you tell till you've taisted?
why nobody told me I'm wrong
I can not be

if waking up another day was something you could expect. This little girl was not afraid, it was all she could understand. To understand her father was gone that day. No laws in land, so she had learned to pray. When king was king then no ones wrong. But no ones right. its always night. Cause he's the king, over the land, he's the king, he's just a man. So waking up another day was something that most would dread. No black and white, no wrong or right, all that mattered was what he said. Don't say a lot, her father was gone today. The king was law so she had learned to pray.When king was king then no ones wrong. But no ones right. its always night. Cause he's the king, over the land, he's the king, he's just a man.

Hello, my dear,
Now I must go,
I feel your skin in my hands.
Hello, my dear,
I want you again,
But our life is a strange thing.
Blind,
I'm lost, in your shining eyes,
While
A gold blade waits in my brain.
I NEED YOUR SWEET SCENT,
FOR EVER AND EVER,
I NEED YOUR DARK SOUL.
Take me again,
I am here with you,
Touch my light shadow.
Fate, fate, fate,
You can't escape your fate,
I am the king of your secret nights.
Blind,
I'm lost, in your shining eyes,
While
A gold blade waits in my brain.
I NEED YOUR SWEET SCENT,
FOR EVER AND EVER,

Before he was king, he was a TV repair man
Fixing radios with a knife and a beer can
Started playing with the circuitry
Making music with a box fan
Now he's building his collection
Setting up on the hot sand
[Chorus]
Let the records start playin
Anyone wanna hear that sound
Verberate and delayin
Everyone loves the sound that he found
When the king's at the table
There's nothing he's unable to do
Like a baby in a cradle
I'll rock so steady for you
[Chorus]
People became jealous of the king
Tried to incapacitate, discontinue his reign
Things changed when they found he was indestructible
Head full of ideas that the rest would never know
With the dawning of a new age, on a new page, is where he found the new thing
Synthesized and coming from the soul
Something truly and unmistakebly original

In this town, I used to be the king here,
Now I don't mean a thing here, Where did it all go wrong?
I look around, and no one knows my face here,
I feel so out of place here, Where did it all go wrong?
I say your name, And I wonder where you are now,
I hope you're doing fine, Well I hope that you found love...
I hope that you found love...
[CHORUS:]
I've been thinking of you, every waking hour,
Staring at the wall, trying to find the nerve to call...
Catch your photo and I wonder, Are you still on this number?
But In my heart I know, You changed that number long ago
Once I was The King...
We said goodbye, You begged me not to leave you,
I didn't want to leave you, but you know I had to go...
I said look for me, when the spring sun shines on the street,
Where we'd meet and plan our future, But I never made it home...
I turn around, head on over to your street yea,
Just in case you might still be there, but now they've pulled it down...
Now they've pulled it down...
I've been thinking of you, every waking hour,
Staring at the wall, trying to find the nerve to call...
Catch your photo and I wonder, Are you still on this number?
But In my heart I know, You changed that number long ago,
Nowhere is home, and I feel old,
My clothes are worn, My heart is cold,
With you I was The King,
But with you my heart would sing,
But now my story's done,
Now I'm no one...
But once I was The King

The story tells of the king of the sky,
Creator of dreams
On a big book he used to write,
The destiny of all galaxies
Lost in darkness, in his castle, far in the universe
He knew when the world began,
why life ended up
And the reason why events took place
One flies away on the rainbow or inside life
And one's heart's alive...to run...
When the night falls, he'll dominate
And from his throne, magic he'll spread
Present and future have no difference
For the immortal ones
Prisoner of an impossible task
Of life be knew nothing at all
All that's real, the oceans and stars
Are a fruit of his mind
Every soul is important and dreaming he creates
New lives to lose or win
One flies away on the rainbow or inside life
And one's heart's alive...to run...
When the night falls, he'll dominate
And from his throne, magic he'll spread
A race, as an end, the face, that is aging
Where's the mystery behind the dream
The space, I need to open a door, to know if
Heaven will have my replies
One flies away on the rainbow or inside life
And one's heart's alive...to run...
When the night falls, he'll dominate

All eyes will see him, coming from the clouds.
The King of King's arriving, with a mighty shout.
And all will stand before him, upon his royal throne.
And every tongue confess he is lord, and every knee will bow.
Hey bride to be, yeah, get ready for your groom.
Your world's so cluttered up, you haven't left him any room.
He's the King!
Worship His Majesty.
The King of Kings!
Then you'll see.
His the King, the King of Kings.
We all live together, here on this old earth.
Don't you even revere him? Who will you serve?
Rebellion will be judged, the King can save your soul.
Don't throw it away boy, you'll reap as you've sown.
Double standard morals, fit your every need.
You're tightrope dancing, straight to hell.
All the while saying your free.
He's the King!
Worship His Majesty.
The King of Kings!
Then you'll see.
His the King, the King of Kings.
Guitar Solo
The King of Kings.
Hey bride to be, yeah, get ready for your groom.
Your world's so cluttered up, you haven't left him any room.
Want to whore around, until the wedding day?
But God will not be mocked, don't throw it all away.
He's the King.
The King of Kings, tonight.
Worship His Majesty.
The King, oh.
He's the King.
Worship His Majesty.
The King of Kings, can't you see he's the King of Kings.

I am still here waiting for king
I don't know when he will come
I am just ready for a new mission
Fighting and burning again
Soldier like you
No time to lose
So far away and
Into the pain
I can remember
Memories of your sign
Cause you're king
I am here I have fear
You can change the law
I am still here waiting for king
I don't know when he will come
I want to see, I want to live
Come on take me far away
Soldier like you
No time to lose
So far away and
Into the pain
I can remember
Memories of your sign
Cause you're king
I am here I have fear

The king died after
you promised loyalty
Don't show him the painting
he'll fall down, you'll see.
The raven betrayed the dangers,
but you put off his destiny.
You were misunderstood
but the king praised your loyalty.
The king sacrificed the twins,
for loyalty.
That's how.
how you came back
and the king praised your loyalty.
The raven betrayed the dangers,
but you put off his destiny.
You were misunderstood

Joy, health, love, and peace be all here in this place
By your leave, we will sing concerning our king
Our king is well dressed, in the silks of the best
In ribbons so rare, no king can compare
We have travelled many miles, over hedges and stiles
In search of our king, unto you we bring
We have powder and shot to conquer the lot
we have cannon and ball to conquer them all
Old Christmas is past, twelve tide is the last

The soft blush of evening
Returns to the folded hills
The sky rains magenta
In praise of the shepherd's skills
The lion lies down beside the lamb
At peace in the holy ground.
The King is returning
And those that were lost are found.
The old moon is resting
She sleeps in the new moon's arms
The love of a mother
Eclipsed by her daughter's charms
The robin bares his wounded breast
And sings with a joyful sound.
The glory of Heaven
Explodes in the rising sun
The long wait is over
The new reign just begun
The ransom of the holly bush
Was paid when the King was crowned.
A symphony of harmonies