There is magic
Heroes are ordinary people.
Plot
Based on the book about Joan Crawford, one of the great Hollywood actresses of our time, written by her adopted daughter Christina Crawford. Joan decides to adopt children of her own to fill a void in her life. Yet, her problems with alcohol, men, and the pressures of show business get in the way of her personal life, turning her into a mentally abusive wreck seen through the eyes of Christina and her brother Christopher, who unwillingly bore the burden of life that was unseen behind the closed doors of "The Most Beautiful House in Brentwood."
Keywords: 1930s, 1940s, 1950s, 1960s, abuse, abusive-mother, abusive-parent, actress, adopted-daughter, adopted-son
To my darling Christina, with love...Mommie Dearest
The meanest mother of them all...
Meet the biggest MOTHER of them all!
The greatest role of her life...was her life.
Faye Dunaway is Joan Crawford, a star...a legend...and a mother...The illusion of perfection.
One thing is certain: You'll never look at a wire hanger the same way again!
Adoption agency official: I'm afraid I have some difficult news for you, Miss Crawford. The agency has denied your application for adoption.::Joan Crawford: Why?::Adoption agency official: Well... you live alone. There are no other family members in the home. You have two previous divorces. You're a busy, active woman, and the candidate is found to be an unsuitable parent.::Joan Crawford: [suddenly enraged] UNSUITABLE?::Adoption agency official: Please, Miss Crawford!::Joan Crawford: Don't you dare judge me!::Adoption agency official: We have a moral and legal responsibility in this job.::Joan Crawford: Obviously you don't understand. What you're really doing is denying one of your children the opportunity to live a wonderful and advantaged life! How sad that is. Good afternoon.
Joan Crawford: [holding a potential script in her hands] It's not good!::Ted Gelber: Oh, you didn't like it?::Joan Crawford: No, it's NOT good!
Joan Crawford: Tear down that BITCH of a bearing wall and put a window where it OUGHT to be.
[addressing the men in the Pepsi boardroom]::Joan Crawford: Don't fuck with me fellas. This ain't my first time at the rodeo.
Carol Ann: [embracing Christina at Joan's funeral] Chris-*tina*! *Tina*!::Christina: Carol-Ann.::Carol Ann: My little Tina. She always loved you so very much, Christina.::Christina: I need to believe that. I need so much to be able to believe that now.::Carol Ann: She did.
Joan Crawford: [after an ugly fight] I didn't mean that, Greg. I didn't mean it.::Greg Savitt: Get up. There's no camera in here.::Joan Crawford: Greg, where ya goin'?::Greg Savitt: Where I belong. Out of here.::Joan Crawford: You belong here. I'm waitin' for ya.::Greg Savitt: Good night, Joan.::Joan Crawford: Please don't leave, because if you do, you'll never come back in again, no matter what you say, or ask, or do.::Greg Savitt: I'll always wish you well, Joan. And I'll only speak well of you.::Joan Crawford: Please don't go! Don't leave me here alone. Please.::Greg Savitt: If you're acting, you're wasting your time. If you're not, you're wasting mine.::Joan Crawford: I'm not actin'! I'm not actin'.::Greg Savitt: Good night. Good luck. Goodbye.
[Maid comments how well Christina's acting talent is coming along]::Joan Crawford: Well, something good had to rub off.
Joan Crawford: [Christina is practicing her diving while Joan urges her on] Well that's good, but you've got to push off more with your weight. Come on, let's see another one.::Greg Savitt: She's had enough, Joan.::Christina Crawford: But I'm tired, Mommie.::Joan Crawford: QUITTER?
Christina: There's a liquor store to the right.::Joan Crawford: I should've know you'd know where to find the boys and the booze.
Joan Crawford: Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to? Why can't you treat me like I would be treated by any stranger on the street?::Christina: Because I am NOT one of your fans.
Plot
A waitress at the Warner Brothers commissary is anxious to break into pictures. She thinks her big break may have arrived when actors Jack Carson and Dennis Morgan agree to help her.
Keywords: faked-pregnancy, filmmaking, hollywood, studio
Jack Carson: Should gave me a chance to be directed by Carson.::Dennis Morgan: Direct! You couldn't even teach Lassie to act like a dog!
Jack Carson: Believe me, Denis, I'll see to it that she is as good in this as Jane Wyman was in Johnny Belinda.::Dennis Morgan: She didn't even *talk* in that one!::Jack Carson: Well, you can't have *everything*.
[phone rings]::Jack Carson: Hey, maybe that's her... er, or sh-she. Not that I care.
Jack Carson: But Denis! Denis, you've got to help me find a leading lady. Look. We're pals! Buddies! When you first came to Hollywood, down on your luck, broke, didn't have what to eat, who gave you the first square meal?::Dennis Morgan: Salvation Army!::Jack Carson: Well, who phoned them?::Dennis Morgan: Who gave you the nickel?::Jack Carson: It was a slug!
Jack Carson: Hey Denis, I think you've got something there. I'll discover her. I'll put her in the picture. I'll direct her, and that beautiful little doll will be grateful to me! *Very* grateful.::Dennis Morgan: Oh, no. *I* will discover her. I'll play the love scenes with her. We'll rehearse at my house at night. And she will be very grateful to *me*.
Publicity man: Now, listen boys, send a couple of cameramen over to Pasadena. We want some cheesecake on Yvonne Amour. You know, 'I love America' with legs crossed.::Reporter: What do I tell them? They want a biography.::Publicity man: Yvonne Amour. Born in the shadow of the Eiffel tower.::Reporter: How to you know?::Publicity man: It's a big tower!::Publicity man: Her father. A colonel in the French Foreign Legion. Killed sixteen years ago in Northern Afghanistan. Let's see them check that!
Jack Carson: [after being slapped] What was that for?::Joan Crawford: Oh, I do that in all my pictures.
Plot
Two soldiers on sick leave spend three nights at the Hollywood Canteen before going back to active duty. With a little friendly help from John Garfield, Slim gets to kiss Joan Leslie, who he has been dreaming about while in the Pacific. He meets her later at the Farmer's Market. On the third night, Slim is the millionth man into the Canteen, earning him a date with Joan. Slim thinks he's been duped when she doesn't show up at his train. Slim's buddy Sergant dances with Joan Crawford. Canteen President Bette Davis praises the canteen and the war effort. Virtually everyone Warners could spare entertains.
Keywords: dancing-horse, hollywood, hollywood-sign, hollywoodland, horse, kiss, obsessed-fan, purple-heart, shore-leave, soldier
62 Stars in Warners' Biggest Ever!
Songs Galore!
Jane Wyman: I've been Reagan-ized!
[after unintentionally scaring away a marine sergeant]::Peter Lorre: [sadly] All I wanted to ask him is to join me in a cigarette!::Sydney Greenstreet: He didn't trust us, Peter.::Peter Lorre: No... and we are such gentle people!::Sydney Greenstreet: ...Are we?::Peter Lorre: [Backs away, frightened]
Plot
Autograph hound Donald, despite the security guard, manages to get signatures from 'Greta Garbo' (qv), 'Mickey Rooney', 'Sonja Henie' (qv), The Ritz Brothers, and 'Shirley Temple' (qv) before he's recognized and everyone wants his autograph.
Keywords: 1930s, anthropomorphic-animal, anthropomorphism, celebrity-caricature, obsessed-fan, reference-to-the-marx-brothers, revolving-door
Plot
Star-packed promotional short subject intended to raise funds for the National Variety Artists tuberculosis sanatorium, produced in association with a cigarette company! Plot involves the investigation of the reported theft of Norma Shearer's jewelry.
Keywords: detective, dog, jewels, laurel-and-hardy, police-chief, police-sergeant, sergeant
Cisco Kid: I do not dance... in English!
Frank Fay: We know each other. We're married!
Wynne Gibson: I had a great time; I left before it [i.e. the ball] started.
Joan Crawford (March 23, 1905 – May 10, 1977), born Lucille Fay LeSueur, was an American actress in film, television and theatre.
Starting as a dancer in traveling theatrical companies before debuting on Broadway, Crawford was signed to a motion picture contract by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer in 1925. Initially frustrated by the size and quality of her parts, Crawford began a campaign of self-publicity and became nationally known as a flapper by the end of the 1920s. In the 1930s, Crawford's fame rivaled MGM colleagues Norma Shearer and Greta Garbo. Crawford often played hardworking young women who find romance and financial success. These "rags-to-riches" stories were well received by Depression-era audiences and were popular with women. Crawford became one of Hollywood's most prominent movie stars and one of the highest paid women in the United States, but her films began losing money and by the end of the 1930s she was labeled "box office poison".
After an absence of nearly two years from the screen, Crawford staged a comeback by starring in Mildred Pierce (1945), for which she won the Academy Award for Best Actress. In 1955, she became involved with the Pepsi-Cola Company through her marriage to company Chairman Alfred Steele. After his death in 1959, Crawford was elected to fill his vacancy on the board of directors but was forcibly retired in 1973. She continued acting in film and television regularly through the 1960s, when her performances became fewer; after the release of the British horror film Trog in 1970, Crawford retired from the screen. Following a public appearance in 1974, after which unflattering photographs were published, Crawford withdrew from public life and became more and more reclusive until her death in 1977.
Junkies down in Brooklyn are going crazy,
They're laughing just like hungry dogs in the street,
Policemen are hiding behind the skirts of little girls,
Their eyes have turned the color of frozen meat.
No, no no no, no no no no no no no no,
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave.
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave.
Catholic schoolgirls have thrown away their mascara,
They chain themselves to the axles of big Mack trucks,
The sky is filled with hurt and shivering angels,
The fat lady lives! Children, start your trucks!
No, no no no, no no no no no no no no,
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave.
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave.
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave.
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave.
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave.
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave.
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave.
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave.
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Joan Crawford has risen...
Junkies down in Brooklyn are going crazy
They're laughing just like hungry dogs in the street
Policemen are hiding behind the skirts of little girls
Their eyes have turned the color of frozen meat
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-no, no, no, no
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Catholic school girls have thrown away their mascara
They chain themselves to the axles of big Mac trucks
The sky is filled with herds of shivering angels
The fat lady laughs, "Gentlemen, start your trucks"
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-no, no, no, no
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
(Christina)
(Mother's home)
(Christina)
(Come to mother)
(Christina)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-no, no, no, no
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
I never knew heaven could speak, but now I do
I've learned it through a conversation with you
I never knew heaven could dance, but now I do
With every step another little dream comes true
I always thought heaven was somewhere
Way up high in the sky up above
I never thought heaven was someone
Like you, for me to love
I never knew heaven could hold such tender charms