Plot
In 1957, Golden Globe winner Jayne Mansfield would become one of the most iconic blond bombshells of the 20Th Century. She possessed an IQ of 163, played violin and piano at a concert level, had a degree in Science, spoke 5 languages fluently, and yet became a celebrity by portraying a 'dumb blond.' By the age of 23 she became the most publicized Hollywood star in the world, but her success was short lived. Five children, three ex-husbands, countless love affairs, and addictions to diet pills and booze took its toll on Mansfield, and in 1967 a grisly car accident ended her life. This film features many of Jayne Mansfield's personal items, and focuses on the turbulent final years of the troubled star's career.
Keywords: based-on-book, jayne-mansfield
Plot
Born in America, but raised in Havemahkeeta in India, with a population of 76, Maurice had always to better Deepak Chopra, and be sexually active, ever since he was 12. His Guru, Tugginmypudha, while approving of Deepak, cautions Maurice and has a chastity belt put around his waist. Years later, Maurice has established himself as Guru Pitka in America, but would like to appear in the Oprah Show and be better than Deepak Chopra. When Jane Bullard from the the Toronto Maple Leafs hires him to counsel their star hockey player, Darren Roanoke, to win back his wife, Prudence, from Kings' star player, Jacques Grande, and also stand up to his dominating mother, Lilian, he agrees to do so - with hilarious results.
Keywords: abomination, accident, acronym, actor-playing-himself, actress-playing-herself, altoids, animal-sex, apology, arena, bad-taste
His Karma is Huge
Get ready for the summer of love
Jacques Grande: Don't look at me with that tone of voice or I will punch you in the shirt!
Guru Pitka: Give me a pound. Lock it down. Break the pickle. Tickle, tickle.
Jacques Grande: Ding Dong. Did someone order the special Quebec pizza huh? You know, like in the porno.
Guru Pitka: Let's look at the word, guru. Ok. My goal is to get you to say "Gee You Are You", tm.
[repeated line]::Guru Pitka: Marishka Hargitay.
Rajneesh: [answering cell phone] Dell Computers, this is Chip.
Guru Pitka: If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your uncle jack off an elephant?
Jay Kell: [from trailer] That is going to knock some change out of his coin purse!
Jacques Grande: And now, I'd like to show my love by making for you a Quebec pizza.::Prudence Roanoke: What's that?::Jacques Grande: Pop-Tart with the ketchup. She's good.
Guru Pitka: Please welcome, Celine Dion!::Jacques Grande: Ah! Dis is my day of lucky!
Mariska Hargitay ( /məˈrɪʃkə ˈhɑrɡɨteɪ/ mə-RISH-kə HAR-gi-tay; born Mariska Magdolna Hargitay; January 23, 1964) is an American actress, best known for her role as New York City sex crimes Detective Olivia Benson on the NBC television drama Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, a role that has earned her multiple awards and nominations, including an Emmy and Golden Globe.
The daughter of actress Jayne Mansfield and actor/bodybuilder Mickey Hargitay, Hargitay is a former beauty queen who made her film debut in the 1985 horror-comedy film Ghoulies, and her major television debut in the 1986 adventure drama series Downtown. She appeared in numerous roles in film and television shows throughout the late 1980s and 1990s before being cast as Olivia Benson, a role that led to her founding the Joyful Heart Foundation, which provides support to women who have been sexually abused.
Hargitay was born at St. John's Hospital in Los Angeles, California, the daughter of actress and 1950s-era sex symbol Jayne Mansfield. Her father was the Hungarian-born former Mr. Universe Mickey Hargitay. Her first and middle names are Hungarian and refer to Mary Magdalene (Mariska is a diminutive of Mary). Her family name means "of Hargita". Hargitay was raised Roman Catholic. She has two older brothers.