1594759

I bagged a really attractive bird at the club last night.

Sometimes I hate being a crime scene investigator.

Crime > Murder
Illness and Mortality > Death
Sex and Shit > Pulling

1594742

A builder has found 22,000 Roman coins estimated to be worth around £100,000...

Although the builder reckons it might be closer to £150,000

In The News > Newspapers

1594757

Jousting.

Said the Brummie to the Bee.

Other > One Liner

1594782

My wife asked me to tie her up and surprise her.

"But remember, I'm not into anal." She warned.

I tied her up ...

"Surprise!"

"I AM into anal!"

Sex and Shit > Anal

1594792

My Boss described me as "one to watch" in our office.

Sadly, he was talking to Security at the time.

Other > Work

1594848

Two unicorns walked on the beach, right up to the water's edge, looking at the boat sailing off in the distance.

One said to the other, "Oh, shit, was that today?"

Other > Stupid

1594801

A Catholic bishop has resigned in shame over a sex scandal.

The other party was female and of legal age.

In The News > Headlines

1594796

You know you've been using your sex doll too much when you walk into the bedroom and she's standing up on her own.

Sex and Shit > Sex Toys

1594779

The Bishop of Arundel and Brighton has resigned with immediate effect saying he has been "unfaithful" to his promises as a Catholic priest.

In other news, a choirboy from Brighton is being treated for depression and abandonment issues.

Religion > Priest
Sex and Shit > Paedophile

1594827

BBC News: 31 die in volcano eruption.

Challenge TV: Massive elimination in the first round of this weeks Takeshi's Castle

Illness and Mortality > Death

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