Plot
The Land Pirates are small group of guys who do all their pillaging, raping, and general pirating on Land only (They hate water!). In this episode, Land Pirate Whitey Brownbeard must go through the Land Pirate ritual of 'The Drinking of the Cups' before they can okay his upcoming marriage to Maureen. Meanwhile, Maureen's friends are scheming to prevent the wedding from happening.
Plot
Karen and Greg were childhood sweethearts. Twelve-year-old Karen mysteriously disappears on her way to Greg's house. Seventeen years later, a woman claiming to be Karen shows up outside Greg's window. She tells Greg that she was abducted by a man who kept her prisoner for years. Greg and Karen's mother are convinced that this woman is Karen. However, Karen's father and the police detective who has been searching for Karen all these years have their doubts. A small-town sheriff contacts the police detective and says the woman claiming to be Karen may be wanted for murder.
Keywords: childhood-sweetheart, kidnapping, mistaken-identity
After seventeen years, a missing girl returns home. But is she a long-lost friend or a cold-blooded killer?
Plot
This is the story of Jennifer Reed who was forced into killing her husband in self defence. As of late, she has been plagued with nightmares of her recently deceased hubby returning from the dead to kill her. Her house is soon full of people like her husband's brother Bill and his wife Sharon who are eager to cash in on the inheritance. There is also a suspicious housekeeper and a unstable looking psychiatrist. Everyone is out for something and poor Jennifer is caught in the middle of it all and is slowly going insane.
Keywords: adultery, bare-breasts, bare-chested-male, bare-chested-male-bondage, blonde, brother-in-law, doctor, dream-sequence, erotica, exploitation
Deep. Dark. Deadly.
Sharon Reed: I don't FEEL like being pleasant!
Jennifer Reed: They're not like dreams - they're more like horror movies.
Detective Hooper: If being broke was a crime, this guy would be doing life.
Anna Rawlins: [unlocks a briefcase full of money] I'm rich!::Bill Reed: We're rich.
Plot
A woman attempts suicide when she suspects her husband doesn't love her and is having an affair. Now she's wheelchair-bound, and her husband, who indeed doesn't love her and is having an affair, hires a private nurse to look after his wife. The nurse begins to suspect that she was hired because of unproven allegations that she murdered someone's wife in a similar situation, that the husband wants her to murder his wife.
Keywords: adultery, betrayal, breasts, disabled, double-cross, dream-sequence, erotica, female-nudity, femme-fatale, heir
Enter the Dangerous and Erotic Inner Sanctum of Tanya Roberts and Margaux Hemingway.
Where passion and murder are one...
Anna Rawlins: [to Baxter Reed] Did you hire Lynn to murder Jennifer... Did you Bax?
Baxter Reed: [about Jennifer's disability] I oughta make her crawl.
Anna Rawlins: Cut it out! How would you like a sexual harrasment charge?::Baxter Reed: [laughs] How would you like to lock the door?::Anna Rawlins: How would you like a kneeing in the nuts?
Anna Rawlins: Bax? When someone's in love it's supposed to feel good.
Plot
The Roses, Barbara and Oliver, live happily as a married couple. Then she starts to wonder what life would be like without Oliver, and likes what she sees. Both want to stay in the house, and so they begin a campaign to force each other to leave. In the middle of the fighting is D'Amato, the divorce lawyer. He gets to see how far both will go to get rid of the other, and boy do they go far..
Keywords: 1980s, acrobat, auction, based-on-novel, battle-of-the-sexes, black-comedy, bookshelf, candelabra, car-wreck, cat
Once in a lifetime comes a motion picture that makes you feel like falling in love all over again. This is not that movie.
Barbara Rose: Have you ever made angry love?::Gavin: Is there any other way?
Oliver Rose: You weren't even multiorgasmic before you met me, were you?::Barbara Rose: You really expect me to keep on reassuring you sexually even now when we disgust each other?
Oliver Rose: You have sunk below the deepest layer of prehistoric frog shit at the bottom of a New Jersey scum swamp.
[Finding out that they are going to get a divorce]::Oliver Rose: And you better get yourself a damn good lawyer!::Barbara Rose: Best your money can buy!
Gavin: Oliver, my father used to say that a man can never outdo a woman when it comes to love and revenge.
[Oliver Rose pees on the fish Barbara Rose had prepared for the guests]::Barbara Rose: I would never humiliate you like this!::Oliver Rose: You're not equipped to, honey.
[Oliver Rose lies in agony, after having his penis bitten severely by Barbara Rose]::Barbara Rose: Was it as good for you as it was for me?
Gavin: There is no winning! Only degrees of losing!
Barbara Rose: [after learning that Oliver is moving back into the home] This is the stupidest thing you've ever done!::Oliver Rose: Second stupidest.
Oliver Rose: Barbara, Susan is here. She wants to know if you are all right.::Barbara Rose: Never felt better.::Oliver Rose: [opens the door for Susan] Thank you for dropping by, Susan.::Susan: Will you go outside with me, Mr.Rose?::Oliver Rose: Let's go. [pauses] Wait a minute, I forgot something.::Susan: What?::Oliver Rose: Barbara! [shuts the door in front of her nose]
Maureen ( /mɔːˈriːn/) is a female given name. Anglicized form of Máirín, a pet form of Máire, which is the Irish cognate of Mary, which is in turn derived from the Hebrew Miriam. It may also be a feminine form of Maurice.
Some variant forms are: Maura, Maury, Maurene, Maurianne, Marien, Maurine, Maurisa, Maurise, Maurissa, Marissa, Maurita, Maurizia, Mavra, Moira, Mora, Moreen, Morena, Morene, Moria and Morine.
Alternately, the term Maure derives from the Phoenician term Mahurin (Westerners). From Mahurin, ancient Latin derives Mauri, meaning black African, and modern Greek derives mauro (black). From the same root is derived moor, maroon, Mohr, Moore, Morin, Morisco, Moreto, Mauretania, Mauritania, Mauritius, Maurus, Maurice/Moritz/Maurikos, Meuric/Meurig, Maureta and Maureen.
Maureen Taylor is a Canadian television and radio personality. She graduated from Ryerson University, in 1983, with a degree in journalism. Taylor first worked for the CBC as a reporter based in Windsor, Ontario. She also worked in CBC Television and CBC Radio in Ottawa, Toronto and Regina, Saskatchewan. She has won ACTRA as well as Canadian Nurses Association awards. Taylor received a Gemini Award nomination for her reporting work on CBC News The National. She is formerly host of TVOntario's More to Life.
Taylor has two children.
Maureen O'Hara (born 17 August 1920) is an Irish film actress and singer. The famously red-headed O'Hara has been noted for playing fiercely passionate heroines with a highly sensible attitude. She often worked with director John Ford and longtime friend John Wayne. Her autobiography, 'Tis Herself, was published in 2004 and was a New York Times Bestseller.
O'Hara was born as Maureen FitzSimons on Beechwood Avenue in the Dublin suburb of Ranelagh. She was the second oldest of the six children of Charles Stewart Parnell FitzSimons and Marguerita Lilburn FitzSimons. Her father was in the clothing business and also bought into Shamrock Rovers Football Club, a team O'Hara has supported since childhood. Her mother, a former operatic contralto, was a successful women's clothier. O'Hara was raised as, and still is, a Roman Catholic. Her siblings were Peggy, the oldest, and younger Charles, Florrie, Margot and Jimmy. Peggy dedicated her life to a religious order, the Sisters of Charity, and the younger children all went on to receive training at the Abbey Theatre and the Ena Mary Burke School of Drama and Elocution in Dublin. O'Hara's dream at this time was to be a stage actress. She was first educated at the John Street West Girls' School near Thomas Street in Dublin's Liberties Area. From the age of 6–17 she trained in drama, music and dance, and at the age of 10 joined the Rathmines Theatre Company and worked in amateur theatre in the evenings, after her lessons.
Robert Jolin Osborne (born May 3, 1932) is an American actor and film historian best known as the primary host for Turner Classic Movies, and previously a host of The Movie Channel.
Born in the small town of Colfax, Washington, Osborne graduated from the University of Washington's School of Journalism. He began his career working as a contract actor for Desi Arnaz and Lucille Ball's Desilu Studios, becoming part of Lucille Ball's Desilu Workshop, in which Ball worked with and nurtured young performers such as Osborne and actress-singer Carole Cook. One of Osborne's early television appearances was in 1959 on an episode of Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse called "Chain of Command," starring Hugh O'Brian. He was also featured on the special Christmas Day Desilu Playhouse installment "The Desilu Revue" in December of that year. He had small roles in such TV shows as The Californians and in the pilot episode of The Beverly Hillbillies.
Ball suggested that Osborne combine his love of film with his abilities as a journalist. Osborne took her advice, although he has continued to appear in small parts in television and film, including an appearance parodying his TCM hosting job on Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law.
All alone tonight I dream in my land of an island for across the sea
A little bit of heaven they call Ireland where an angel waits for me
Maureen Maureen my heart is still with pain
To be with you and to hold you in my arms again
In all my dreams I dream of you Maureen
And the misty moonlit meadows and the hills of green
The hills that heard us whisper the secrets of our heart
The hills that heard us promise that we would never part
Maureen Maureen someday white sails will gleam
I pick her up outside the station
She's telling me about her spring vacation
She's not leaving much to the imagination
She's giving me way too much information
Maureen
You don't know what you do to me
I know you won't be true to me
The least that you can do for me
Is keep it to yourself
I'm so sorry I don't mean to shout
It's just that I can do without
The details of your days and nights and your thoughts and dreams
Maureen, Maureen, Maureen, Maureen, Maureen
Do you know what I mean
Do you know what I mean
Do you know what I mean
She calls me up at ten past midnight
'Cause she and some guy just had some big fight
And I say "well maybe he's just not all that bright"
She tells me it's not his brain that she likes
M-M-M-M-M-Maureen
You don't know what you do to me
I know you won't be true to me
The least that you can do for me
Is keep it to yourself
I'm so sorry I don't mean to shout
But really I can do without
The details of your days and nights and your thoughts and dreams
Maureen, Maureen, Maureen, Maureen
I know you think I'm just a friend
But can we please just put an end
To all the graphic imagery that you insist on feeding me
I can't accept I'm not the one
Who's getting to have all the fun
Maybe that's what friends are for
But I just can't take it any more
M-M-M-M-M-Maureen
You don't know what you do to me
I know you won't be true to me
The least that you can do for me
Is keep it to yourself
I'm so sorry I don't mean to shout
But really I can do without
The details of your days and nights and your thoughts and dreams
Can we keep it right
Can we keep it clean
Maureen
It's hard to explain
Never gonna see you again
And you'll never meet my new friends
Maureen, I miss you
I just can't explain
Never gonna see you again
I wish you could meet my new friends
Walking along the subway listening to
Loving you is easy acapella
You were a souped-up car in that rent-a-go-cart town
And I miss you Maureen
We're as thick as thieves
Maureen, Maureen
Remember when my mother said to me
"Sade, don't you come home too late
Till you're back I stay awake"
And Maureen
With the boys you could tell at a glance
You'd say, "He looks good
Let's hope he can dance wicky wacky party to the"
Where are we going tonight
And what will you be wearing
Shone like a souped-up car in that rent-a-go-cart town
And I miss you Maureen, I miss you girl
You were my best friend
Never gonna see you again, Maureen
And you'll never meet my new friends
You really were a pearl in my world, Maureen
Maureen
It's hard to explain
You never call 'round to see me again
You never meet my new friends
Never meet my new friends
Never meet my new friends
Never meet my new friends
If you need, Maureen, I'll recount you all the ways that I mean to be true.
Though my eyes wonder why, my heart keeps inside the reasons why I'm free with you.
Nobody wants to see trouble where none should be.
My Maureen, don't dream that I could ever be leaving you.
You were saved by doubt and you needed an out to help you get through the day
I may offer you sense but it's love you miss and my talking just gets in the way.
Nobody wants to hear farewells ring in their ear.
My Maureen, don't dream that I could ever be leaving you.
Nobody wants to hear farewells ring in their ear.