Demetri Martin (born May 25, 1973) is an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer and humorist. Martin is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, contributor on The Daily Show and for his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin.
Demetri Martin was born to a Greek American family in New York City, New York, and grew up in Toms River, New Jersey. He is the son of Lillian, a nutritionist, and Dean C. Martin, now deceased, a Greek Orthodox priest. Martin graduated from Yale University in 1995. Although he was accepted into Harvard Law School, he went to New York University School of Law after he received a full scholarship.
In 2001, Martin caught his first big break in stand-up comedy when he appeared on Comedy Central's stand-up showcase Premium Blend. At the 2003 Edinburgh Festival Fringe he won the Perrier award with his show If I.... The show was turned into a British television special in 2004. From 2003 to 2004, Martin wrote for Late Night with Conan O'Brien. In 2004, Martin had his own Comedy Central Presents stand-up special. His special was divided into three parts. In the first, he performed in traditional stand-up comedy fashion. In the second segment, he used humorous drawings as visual aids, which would serve either as the punchline or a background. During the third segment, he played a guitar and put on a pseudo-play where he would strum his guitar while alternating between playing harmonica and talking; some of his comedian friends dressed as fairies and dragons acted according to the story he was telling, detailing the magical land where his jokes came from. Martin's mother and grandmother also appeared.
Alicia Augello Cook (born January 25, 1981), better known by her stage name Alicia Keys, is an American R&B singer-songwriter, record producer, and actress. Keys was raised by a single mother in the Hell's Kitchen area of Manhattan in New York City. At age seven, Keys began playing the piano. She attended Professional Performing Arts School and graduated at 16 as valedictorian. Keys released her debut album with J Records, having had previous record deals first with Columbia and then Arista Records.
Keys' debut album, Songs in A Minor, was a commercial success, selling over 12 million copies worldwide. She became the best-selling new artist and best-selling R&B artist of 2001. The album earned Keys five Grammy Awards in 2002, including Best New Artist and Song of the Year for "Fallin'". Her second studio album, The Diary of Alicia Keys, was released in 2003 and was also another success worldwide, selling eight million copies. The album garnered her an additional four Grammy Awards in 2005. Later that year, she released her first live album, Unplugged, which debuted at number one in the United States. She became the first female to have an MTV Unplugged album to debut at number one and the highest since Nirvana in 1994.
This is for the girls who get tipsy,
But never get too drunk,
This is for the girls who dance sexy,
But never show too much,
This is for the girls who get tipsy,
But never get too drunk,
This is for the girls who dance sexy,
But never show too ...Stop.
If I talk shit to you,
Would you it talk back to me too...baby?
If I wanna dance with you,
Would you wanna groove with me too...baby?
Cos' we can get it on all night long
It ain't nothing that caught yu baby
We could turn it up all night long girl
It ain't nothing that caught ya baby
Arrive on set,
I'm so fresh,
Immediately get the other guys upset.
So fly that I aint gotta buy no jet,
That's how I get their minds on sex,
Make chicks sweat, literally yeah,
They self so hot, and they're their thighs so wet,
And I don't taste, no, I dont stress,
Any girl I want, know I'm gun' get.
I can catch juliet, don't need no net.
Plenty fish in the sea, baby please know that.
And the dude that you with,
baby he's no threat.
His stacks on d's, my g's on deck.
What you want you recieve,
What you need you get,
Just give me one shot like russian roulette.
I must confess, i'm obsessed.
Just gotta get up under her dress.
If I talk shit to you
Would you it talk back to me too...baby?
If I wanna dance with you
Would you wanna groove with me too...baby?
Cos' we can get it on all night long
It ain't nothing that caught you baby
we could turn it up all night long girl
It ain't nothing that caught you baby
Hey miss lady,
Lets say maybe we leave this place, go crazy
get shit faced and get x-rated
take turns getting our faces decorated,
cum till your body get numb,
have you hyper ventilatin'
make you cum until you say you can't take it,
really,
i just wanna give you that feelin'
lookin' at you make me wanna spread a few shillin'
have a few children,
imagine me behind you drillin'
till you pass out through dillin'
girl god willin' i'ma make you click on all cylinders,
scream like im killin' her,
bust off once i'm still in her,
go soft, oh no i didn't sir,
come with me and your gettin' served,
all night till your muscles tight and your vision,
blurred,
Said if i talk shit to you,
would you talk it back to me too .. baby?
And if i wanna dance with you,
Would you wanna groove with me too .. baby?
Cos' we can get it on all night long
It ain't nothing that caught you baby
We could turn it up all night long girl
It ain't nothing that caught you baby
I got something for you,
I hope you ready,
Cause you gon' get it,
(boy talk to me)
Once i get them jeans off you,
And get you naked,
I hope you can take it,
(boy talk to me)
From the front from the back,
Give it to me, throw it back,
Don't run from it, aint this what you wanted?
(boy talk to me)
On the bottom, on the top,
I won't stop until you pop,
Girl work it, don't you like it dirty?
(now bring the hook back)
Said if i talk shit to you,
Would you it talk back to me too ... baby?
If I wanna dance with you
Would you wanna groove with me too... baby?
Cos' we can get it on all night long
It ain't nothing that caught you baby
we could turn it up all night long girl
It ain't nothing that caught you baby,
All friends are gone-my heart it burns like fire
When the night comes falling, falling from the sky
I was so wrong-how could I loose my desire
How many times can we say goodbye
Love is a sacrifice
You have to read between the lies
If I'll never see the sun again
If I'll never have your helping hand
If I'll never see a children smile
My world is lost
If we don't try
I'm so alone-I cannot stand it forever
Sometiomes I feel-like I can't stand the pain
All that I want-we can't do it together
Only with you-I feel like I'm born again
No matter what I do
I do it baby just for you
Uhh, c'mon yeah *laughter*
Brooklyn, Brook-lyn, take it back, take it back
If I... Fox Boogie, ragtop six drop
Get caught, think not, light Brown
Cause we're not to be stopped
If I...
I came up fast in this crap game they call a rap game
What the damn she's killin it again from that dame
Now every snake fake-faced O jig
I'm like, just don't sell me the 'Bridge, I buy lakes
Friends even bend rules, chicks I lent jewels
Says, "She's actin funny now, oh she's got money now"
Tryin to do my thing y'all, need you on my team
But you aint gon' stop my dream, or block my cream
I liked things better when you called me Ings
A year before Rap City, way before Screen Scene
'Fore they knew who Foxy was, you probably was
The first to keep it real wit all my secrets concealed
Things got ill the minute I got a deal
And my time got shorter and you was havin a daughter
Had to stop hopscotch, get off Iran
Damn I wish we were still playin jump
Chorus: repeat 2X
If I could take this back I would
If I could rewind the time to when it was all good
I would, take it back to when we said good-bye
If I...
My so-called man thinkin he slick cause I stay on tour
Thought he'd never get caught tryin to play on whores
I cried as my keys was scrapin the car doors
From the trunk, to the hood, by the wheel and the floor
Exposed my vulnerable side, had me open wide
Said you forever keep it real, but you lied
Was the first to feel inside, the Ill Na Na
Had me thirst when you whispered to me, "How it feel mama?"
Yeah, but don't hurt it, I like the way you work it
No Diggity, don't stop get busy
Blew up your pager, checked your clothes
Duked your house keys, stole your beeper code
What happened to the Mo's and the occasional roses
Massages and the bubble baths, rubbin my toes as
I realize you was just misleadin me
I shoulda known, you left your last chick to be with me
Chorus
Mommy dearest tried to prepare us for a lot ahead
You never heard, preferred to smoke your lye instead
On the one to one combo told me you'd die for bread
That's why I spend these nights, cryin in the bed
You had the deep dish six, your rep was widespread
I tried to intervene you said it was over my head
Said I'd never understand the plight of a black man
Right, but I'm tryin to keep you in my life
V.I.A. satellite, talkin them burn outs
Soon you had me whylin and you turned me out
Taught me bout how to win, the code of the streets
Luxuries and wealth untold it was sweet
And one night you asleep after work was chopped up
Felt somethin strange in my veins, I popped up
One foot in the house shoot flew to the horn
Got the cell operator, I knew you was gone
have you heard da news, today?
i left you in the dust, and that's where you'll stay.
you never mattered anyway.
you don't really know how to play the game.
if i shed my skin, i won't feel:
(if i shed my skin)
if i close my eyes, i won't see you:
(if i close my eyes)
if i cover my ears and i won't hear:
(if i close my ears)
i shut my mouth and i won't tell
the truth.
you have a venomous tongue.
you deserve an iron lung:
you're spending your time obsessing -
and your hate will not ever let you be:
if i shed my skin, i won't feel:
(if i shed my skin)
if i close my eyes, i won't see you:
(if i close my eyes)
if i cover my ears and i won't hear:
(if i close my ears)
i shut my mouth and i won't tell
If I could tell a story, what secrets I would tell
Of those who have gotten the glory
And those who went to hell.
If I could show the pictures,
Of the faces I believed
They'd all be children smiling
With nothing up there sleeves.
I'd remember ever detail, I'd remember every flaw
And every time we failed to open every door.
If I could change the ending, no one would ever lose
Id keep this road from bending, no one should have to
choose
We walked this line together, then share what can share
Then we'd all do this forever, then that should get us
I was so busy doin' things
Doin' things that I wasn't supposed to
And I know you might not believe me, babe
But I loved you
For each tear, forgive me it was unintentional
That I made you cry, I want you to know that I
I apologize and I'm prayin' that it's not too late
Girl, if I, if I should lose you, girl
If I could make love to you, girl
If I have thrown our love away
I don't know what I'm gonna do
I can't even imagine, babe
I can't imagine my life without you
And I, I can't even fathom, babe
Someone is loving you
Don't turn away from me and leave me here down on my knees
Without you, I'm dying won't you come save my life?
Now I realize that I'll never love the way that I loved you
Girl, if I, if I should lose you, girl
If I could make love to you, girl
If I have thrown our love away
I don't know what I'm gonna do
Oh, I know, I know I was wrong,with you, I belong
If our love is gone, how can I carry on?
I'm so alone without you to hold, won't you come home?
Girl, if I, if I should lose you, girl
If I could make love to you, girl
If I have thrown our love away
I don't know what I'm gonna do
Girl, if I, if I should lose you, girl
If I can make love to you, girl
If I have thrown our love away
If I hadn’t been a quiet introspective kid
If I hadn’t been a nerd wouldn’t have met with him
If we hadn’t observed we be the best of friends
That preferred the spoken word to the toke and binge
If momma hadn’t died when I was young
Would me and sis have been so tight from jump
If dad had not lost his mind to a disease
Would I be up here askin ya’ll to notice me
In the dark times didn’t know where the path went
I was close to the edge like Grand Master Flash said
It was the hands of my friends who held me back
Without them I’d MJ keep slide’n backwards
Or be a hypocrite like some others have been
If that and the other hadn’t happened
I don’t know that I’d be Brer Rabbit
Askin how many ifs between hero and has-been?
If I had only known that I would be a lamb to the slaughter
now I know
If I hadn’t grown up in the 80’s
Experiencing the various things that made me
Would I still be standing center stage
Trying to innovate new ways to demonstrate
If mommy daddy hadn’t turned off Mork and Mindy
To inform us divorce was pending
Would him and me have spent these 23 years in a frenzy
Moving back and forth with such forceful energy
I remember when I was a little baby
Lying there alone on my pillow casing
Upset already I could feel the aging
The urge to return was debilitating
And maybe I’m still afraid and need to
Cry a little harder for the world of play things
Stop looking back on these silly day dreams
Sing along with me if you feel the same way
If I had known what awaited was unplanned
If I had known the blade was in a loved one’s hand
If I had known of the possible injury
If I had known the altar was meant for me
Now I know nobody can predict events
Now I know there’s cracks in the picket fence
Now I know that something else can exist
Now I know a life can be built from this
If I had known emotions would still remain
If I had known that time wouldn’t heal the pain
If I had known the intent of the injury
If I had known the altar wasn’t meant for me
Now I know there’s treasure hidden in these scars
Now I know there’s presence in an empty yard
Now I know what it took for me to survive
[Verse 1:]
If I sang a song
Would you sing with me?
Said if I sang a song
Song, would you sing with me?
If I danced a step
Would you dance with me?
(Dance with me)
If I shed a tear
Would you cry with me?
And if I told a lie
Would you fall with me
[Chorus:]
All of these things I do for you
Give me a chance
To prove to you
My love is true
[Verse 2:]
If I had to go
Would you leave with me?
Said if I had to go
Go, would you leave with me?
If I had no food
Would you cook for me?
(Cook for me)
If I told a joke
Would you laugh with me?
And if I asked for you to change
Would you change for me?
[Chorus]
All of these things I do for you,
Give me a chance
To prove to you
All of these things I do for you
Give me a chance to prove to you
My love is true
[Verse 3:]
If I had to die
Would you pray for me?
If I had to die
Blow, blow down your door
You wanted less, but you got more
Blow, blow down your door
Walk the path, walk the floor
If I x4
Devil's gonna make you turn
Red, red hot and burn
Devil's gonna make you turn
Never lose and never learn
If I x8
Long, long way home
I was leaving, I was gone
Long, long way home
You were calling me beyond
Fall down, kneel, cry
Tell my heart, I won't deny
Fall down, kneel, cry
Alright, testify!
If I x8
What you gonna do when you're
Earth to the ground no more
What you gonna do when you're
6 feet down and you're...
Hey,
If I x8
Long, long way home
I was leaving, I was gone
Long, long way home
You were calling me beyond
Fall down, kneel, cry
Tell my heart, I won't deny
Fall down, kneel, cry
Alright, testify!
Speak out tongue, find the word
Speak out tongue, now I heard
Speak out soul, hold the line
Speak out soul, day and night
Speak out tongue, find the word
Speak out tongue, now I heard
Speak out tongue, find the word
if i, if i could give you faith in me, no matter what
what i had to loose
then i, i’d shed my skin
give myself for anything you wanted me to do
who can guess what stars predict?
when you are least expecting it
don’t give up on me yet
if i, if i could make you trust in me, no matter what
what i’d done before
then i, i would disarm
lose myself to anything that you are asking for
who can guess what life will bring?
when you agree to let me in
who knows what i could be?
if i, if i could have you
don’t give up on me when i’ve hit the wall
don’t give up on me when this could be all behind me
who can guess what stars predict?
when you are least expecting it
don’t give up on me yet
if i, if i could give you faith in me, no matter what
what i had to loose
if i, if i could have you
I could stand and look at you forever
While other lifetimes pass me by
Well it'd be worth the wait
To have one chance to see your face
And catch a glimpse of your smile
And I would run
As I could run
If I could only have you next to me
Then I, I would give you everything you need
And I could make you see
If I were the only one for you
Then I could make all your dreams come true
And I could be the one who sets you free
So let me
And I've been trying to figure out forever
How to make you come around
Seems everything I try won't wake you up
Won't catch your eye
But still I gotta try
As I would run
As I could fly
If I could only have you next to me
Then I, I would give you everything you need
And I could make you see
If I were the only one for you
Then I could make all your dreams come true
And I could be the one who sets you free
Just give me a chance
To show you how it's meant to be
Just one little chance
And I can make you believe
If I could only have you next to me
Then I, I would give you everything you need
And I could make you see
If I were the only one for you
Then I could make all your dreams come true
And I could be the one who sets you free
So be with me
Sets you free
Sets you free
Could be the one
Could be the one
If I smiled at you, would you stay with me?
If I made a place for you, would you lay with me?
If I dance for you, would you groove with me?
Please be with me, be with me
How I could I explain without fear
How I look at you after last night
I cloud lay here for all my life
Never again see the days light
Just be here and touch my face
And don't ever leave my sight
I'm a drunken fiend for the smell of you
If you go away what would I do
Oh yeah baby, what would I do
If I smiled at you, would you stay with me?
If I made a place for you, would you lay with me?
If I dance for you, would you groove with me?
Please be with me, be with me
I'd do anything for you, there is no doubt
I'm going with my heart and I can feel it's right
If I fall behind then girl don't count me out
And we will never part 'cause the bond is too tight
Let me make this clear that the love we share
Is something girl that is truly rare
I'd climb a mountain, I'd swim a stream
Just to be with you, it's my only dream
It's my only dream
If I smiled at you, would you stay with me?
If I made a place for you, would you lay with me?
If I dance for you, would you groove with me?
Please be with me, be with me
If I smiled at you, would you stay with me?
If I made a place for you, would you lay with me?
If I dance for you, would you groove with me?
[1st Verse]
Another red eye at the airport
Stay so high I'm a frequent flyer
I'll be shuttin off my phone so I can't call
Unless you look up at the sky and see a streak of fire
At least you saw me in the stars one last time
I'm feeling like I'm crashing at the moment
But you know I'm coming back today
Just past noon, l've been lonely
[Chorus]
Baby
I'm glad I finally caught you
Look at this gift i bought you
Won't tell you that I love you cause I thought you knew
When i get home oh baby
I'm happy that I never lost u
Save the date, you and me
Im'a prove that just like you
I get lonely too
[Verse 2]
Waiting for us too get it on
ain't gotta love to cost any
hope it ain't like that for long
I'll be your friend if you let me
don't wanna come off strong
cuz too many people wanna get me
but you know I do what I gotta do
just like you, I get lonely yoo
[Chorus]
Baby,
I could really get to know you
take my time and show you
don't tell anybody what we do
when I get lonely
Take Me,
to another place where I'll be
face to face, just you and me
with no rules, just like you
I get lonely too ooh ooh
hoo ooh hoh, hoo ooh hoh
just like you
I get lonely too ooh ooh
hoo ooh hoh
just like you
I get lonely
[Bridge]
Hoh ooh hoh
Hoh ooh hoh
Hoh ooh hoh
just like you
I get lonely too
Hoh ooh hoh
Hoh ooh hoh
Hoh ooh hoh
[Chorus]
Baby,
I could really get to know you
take my time and show you
don't tell anybody what we do
when I get lonely
Take Me,
to another place where I'll be
face to face, just you and me
with no rules, just like you
I get lonely too ooh ooh
hoo ooh hoh, hoo ooh hoh
just like you
I get lonely too ooh ooh
hoo ooh hoh
just like you
I get lonely
Hello dear people what are you waiting for yea?
Move Yourself now and get out of door
So you say this is a price for peace
Weeping and wailing oh God,
and mashing of teeth
But if I were to fly, High,
upon a wing of a dove now yea
will You come join me and sail away the day?
We would see Jah fallen of the wicked man yea
Leaving only righteousness to stand
Rock solid upon the land
And If I were to leave tomorow
Would that make you stronger for today?
If I were to bend down on my knees and pray
Would that make you say,
"He's no longer a gifted soul
No he's no longer a warrior,
He doesn't care about the flock, no
He doesn't even care who gets burned"
Well I'm a gonna tell you someday ...
Only goal, Lock I in poverty
Or to keep us down I know inna general penitentiary
Education is no where to be found
So when they jump in the water They will surely drown
But if I were to fly, High,
upon a wing of a dove now yea
will You come join me and sail away the day?
We would see Jah fallen of the wicked man yea
Leaving only righteousness to stand
Rock solid upon the land
And If I were to leave tomorow
Would that make you stronger for today?
If I were to bend down on my knees and pray
Would that make you say,
"He's no longer a gifted soul
No he's no longer a warrior,
He doesn't care about the flock, no
He doesn't even care who gets burned"
Well I'm a gonna tell you one day ...
And If I were to leave tomorow
Would that make you stronger for today?
If I were to bend down on my knees and pray
Would that make you say,
"He's no longer a gifted soul
No he's no longer a warrior,
He doesn't care about the flock, no
He doesn't even care who gets burned"
Well I'm a gonna tell you one day...
If I yea, If I could You know I would
If I tried to abuse you. if I did you wrong.
If I ever accused you for stealing my songs.
If I lightly disturbed you with my unfaithful laws.
If it slightly occurred to you that I wasn't yours.
Then excuse me for being this mad,
But it's all in my head
And I get nothing done as the sun moves up and down ... without you.
If you ever did see me on somebody else's arm.
If I told you to believe me when I lied like a charm.
Then excuse me for being this mad,
But it's all in my head
And I get nothing done as the sun moves up and down - without you.
If I lied, if I talked,
If I hit you in the dark, if I swore to never leave and then let you fall apart.
If my thoughts were too qeer,
If I could have been there,
If I pushed you around,
Then I excuse myself now...
If I lied, if I talked,