Family Guy Presents: Seth & Alex's Almost Live Comedy Show (2009)

Actors

• Seth MacFarlane (actor)
• Seth MacFarlane (actor)
• Seth MacFarlane (actor)
• Seth MacFarlane (actor)
• Seth MacFarlane (actor)
• Seth MacFarlane (actor)
• Seth MacFarlane (actor)
• Walter Murphy (actor)
• John Viener (actor)
• Patrick Warburton (actor)
• Alex Borstein (actress)
• Alex Borstein (actress)
• Alex Borstein (actress)
• Alex Borstein (actress)
• Mike Henry (actor)

Genres

• Animation
• Comedy
• Music
• Short

Quotes:

Marlee Matlin: Would you like to learn sign language?::Alex Borstein: Sure.::Marlee Matlin: Fuck you!

[the "Cal Johnson" theme song]::Seth MacFarlane: There was a man who shot the man who was the man who shot the man, Cal Johnson, Cal Johnson. He wore a hat, his favorite hat, he loved that hat, he hated hats, Cal Johnson, Cal Johnson. He was a dad to zero kids and yet he fathered five. He got shot dead a year ago and yet he's still alive. He's rich beyond his wildest dreams, yet never had a dime. A law man to the very end, he led a life of crime. In all his years of life on earth he never fired a gun, Yet when it came to Chinese men he shot down everyone. He had a horse named Bandit and the horse's name was Clyde. Cal Johnson was born the day he died.

Killing Mr. Griffin (1997)

Actors

• Wesley Duncan (actor)
• Scott Jaeck (actor)
• Paul Linke (actor)
• Mario Lopez (actor)
• Richard Marion (actor)
• James McDonnell (actor)
• Dennis Redfield (actor)
• Jay Thomas (actor)
• Chris Young (actor)
• Joey Zimmerman (actor)
• Rhonda Dotson (actress)
• Denise Dowse (actress)
• Jennifer Hammon (actress)
• Amy Jo Johnson (actress)
• Scott Bairstow (actor)

Genres

• Drama
• Thriller

Taglines:

There's only one way to make the grade...

Griffin, Kathy Filmography

• Kathy Griffin: Calm Down Gurrl
  2013, role: producer
• Kathy Griffin: Calm Down Gurrl
  2013, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Kathy Griffin: Kennedie Center On-Hers
  2013, role: actress , character name: Herself
• 2013 Young Hollywood Awards
  2013, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Kathy Griffin: Record Breaker
  2013, role: producer
• Kathy Griffin: Calm Down Gurrl
  2013, role: writer
• Kathy Griffin: Kennedie Center On-Hers
  2013, role: producer
• Moms Mabley: I Got Somethin' to Tell You
  2013, role: actress , character name: Herself
• The 40th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards
  2013, role: actress , character name: Herself - Presenter
• Why We Laugh: Funny Women
  2013, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Kathy Griffin: Record Breaker
  2013, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Kathy Griffin: Seaman 1st Class
  2012, role: actress , character name: Herself
• The 54th Annual Grammy Awards
  2012, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Kathy Griffin: Seaman 1st Class
  2012, role: producer
• 2012 Primetime Creative Arts Emmys
  2012, role: actress , character name: Herself - Presenter
• Kathy Griffin: 50 & Not Pregnant
  2011, role: producer
• Kathy Griffin: Gurrl Down
  2011, role: writer
• New Year's Eve Live with Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin
  2011, role: actress , character name: Herself - Host
• Kathy Griffin: Pants Off
  2011, role: writer
• The 53rd Annual Grammy Awards
  2011, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Kathy Griffin: Tired Hooker
  2011, role: writer
• Kathy Griffin: Pants Off
  2011, role: producer
• Kathy Griffin: Gurrl Down
  2011, role: actress , character name: Herself
• The Muppets
  2011, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Kathy Griffin: Gurrl Down
  2011, role: producer
• Kathy Griffin: Tired Hooker
  2011, role: producer
• Kathy Griffin: 50 & Not Pregnant
  2011, role: actress , character name: Herself
• The 37th Annual People's Choice Awards
  2011, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Hall Pass
  2011, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Kathy Griffin: 50 & Not Pregnant
  2011, role: writer
• Kathy Griffin: Tired Hooker
  2011, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Kathy Griffin: Pants Off
  2011, role: actress , character name: Herself
• NBC's New Year's Eve with Carson Daly
  2010, role: actress , character name: Herself
• The 52nd Annual Grammy Awards
  2010, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Kathy Griffin Does the Bible Belt
  2010, role: producer
• Kathy Griffin: Whores on Crutches
  2010, role: writer
• Shep & Tiffany Watch TV: The Best of 2010
  2010, role: producer
• Kathy Griffin: Whores on Crutches
  2010, role: producer
• The 62nd Primetime Emmy Awards
  2010, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work
  2010, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Shrek Forever After
  2010, role: actress , character name: Dancing Witch
• I Am Comic
  2010, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Katt Williams: 9 Lives
  2010, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Shrek Forever After
  2010, role: actress , character name: Wagon Witch #1
• Kathy Griffin: Whores on Crutches
  2010, role: actress , character name: Herself
• Kathy Griffin Does the Bible Belt
  2010, role: actress , character name: Herself
• A Bundle of Sticks
  2010, role: actress , character name: Herself
• VH1 Divas Salute the Troops
  2010, role: actress , character name: Herself - Host
• Sammy's avonturen: De geheime doorgang
  2010, role: actress , character name: Vera
• The 2010 VH1 Do Something Awards
  2010, role: actress , character name: Herself

Famous quotes by Kathy Griffin:

"And Don Cheadle and Andy Garcia are just sitting there. They are the real meat and bones of that cast. Julia keeps going on about how they are all good friends, and Don says something about his kids. She goes, 'I didn't know you had kids.' That tells you something. Good friends, sure."

"This is when Casper Van Dien gets to have his moment in the sun."

"We're so used to seeing celebrities being driven around in limos. I can go to an In-N-Out Burger whenever I want, and no one takes my picture."

"[We] are working on it. He will be a part of my Bravo show next season."

"Chris Rock doesn't do that, ... They're paying me my normal rate like I was doing a theater or college. So I'm there. Me in someone's living room."

"Put your eyebrows on the night stand and hang up the phone. He has lady eyebrows; pretty, drag-queen eyebrows. Enough with the tweezing."

"And you can't exhale,"

"KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST ... To Kathy Griffin. Warmest wishes, Renee Zellweger."

"What I would really love is to be on a sitcom again, ... Everybody talks about Desperate Housewives - that's one show, and they're all gorgeous. But where's the Roseanne ? Where's the real women who are funny? That's where I come in."

"[Listen to the way she talks up, and down, Angelina Jolie:] I think the work she does for the ambassador to the U.N. is fantastic, ... 'Cause let me tell you something: I don't want to go to the Sudan. You know, from what I've seen on television, I don't want to go anywhere near the Congo. And she's going there, picking kids up, left and right, god love her. But she's also ridiculous, alright? You know, she's got the lips that look like an inflamed anus. Alright, I know that's sexy to a lot of guys. But have you ever had a haemorrhoid? 'Cause that's what it looks like."

"I prefer being known for my stand-up because I write it. I love being an actor, and saying other people's words is great. But then, when I do stand-up, I love getting my own point of view out there."

"So yes, I say things I regret constantly, and I just can't help it."

"I actually have to pick and chose stuff that I know I'm going to bomb at."

"Oh, I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly. But that's just part of the deal. I'm not really sure what's going to come out of my mouth."

"The thing that bums me out about 'The Real World' is I don't want to believe that teenagers are that stupid."

"The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends."

"Remember, folks, I am a comedian, not a journalist."

"Well, the coffeehouse audiences never know what they're going to get, and all the comics are different, as opposed to when you go to a club, and they're pretty much all telling jokes with set-ups and punchlines. Coffeehouse audiences are the most forgiving: They really listen, which is the best part."

"I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly."

"I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that is not my style."