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Having seen so many girls post selfies without make up on this week, I've decided to donate money to Revlon for the miraculous work they do.

BREAKING NEWS: reports of some missing passengers from the Malaysia Airlines flight found in Wales. The rest were found in sharks. #MH370

NEWS: Crimea voters excited to exercise democracy for last time. #Ukraine #crimea

For their Quarter Final tie with Bayern Munich, Man United are pleased to announce that Rosary Beads are now on sale in the Club Shop #mufc

I don't think muslims really want the whole world to become Islamic. Who would they hate? #sickipedia

It's not only men that are sexist. We're just better at it than women. #sickipedia

Kate Bush has announced her first concert dates since 1979. Times have changed. She should re-brand herself as Kate Brazilian. #sickipedia

I'm pretty sure that's the last time the charity people will leave me a bag saying, "Fill with love." #sickipedia

When I got married twenty years ago and the priest said "Will you love, honour, and obey?" I had no idea he was fucking talking to me.

Someone just knocked on the door selling raffle tickets for poor black orphans. I said "Fuck that, with my luck I'd win one." #sickipedia

"Everything is possible" That person clearly never tried winning an argument with a woman on her period. #sickipedia

My girlfriend was very moody until I gave her chocolate in a crispy shell. She must have been pre-Minstrel. #sickipedia

Is it just a coincidence Fred Phelps died on the #InternationalDayofHappiness? The answer is no. #sickipedia

Two men standing at the bar of a country club. One says, "I'm a country member." Other one says, "Yes, I remember." #sickipedia

I finance my stripper habit with fake cash If they're only going to pretend to be sexually available, I'm only going to pretend to pay them

A survey found that young kids are the most annoying airline passengers. I thought terrorists might have taken the biscuit. #sickipedia

So today is the day when women take less-make-up selfies and call them no-make-up selfies. #cancerawareness

I've tried experimenting with drugs. Putting acid in my wife's tea has been the funniest yet. #sickipedia

@HeresRuffles not Fosters

No makeup selfies has made me realise the importance of donations I'm sending all my money to Max Factor for all the essential work they do