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 MoreBanking Is for the 1%Why the Government Is Terrible at Helping You Get a JobVideo Shows SpaceX Rocket Exploding During Test Flight NBC NewsDeep Pockets, Dark Goals: How Will ISIS Keep Funding Terror? NBC NewsTwo Ancient Mayan Cities Found in Mexican Jungle NBC NewsFlow is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity… The hallmark of flow is a feeling of spontaneous joy, even rapture, while performing a task although flow is also described… as a deep focus on nothing but the activity – not even oneself or one’s emotions.

 Popular Among Subscribers   The New Rules of Viral Fundraising  Subscribe Inside the Tragedy of FergusonThe Evolution of a NarcissistWhen do you usually feel flow? It’s when you’re challenged but not beyond your skill level. Passive activities don’t create flow. Neither do overwhelming challenges.

 Via Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life:

 Flow is generally reported when a person is doing his or her favorite activity – gardening, listening to music, bowling, cooking a good meal. It also occurs when driving, when talking to friends and surprisingly often at work. Very rarely do people report flow in passive leisure activities, such as watching television or relaxing.

 There are a handful of things that need to be present for you to experience flow:

 Via Top Business Psychology Models: 50 Transforming Ideas for Leaders, Consultants and Coaches:

  Clear goals that, while challenging, are still attainable. Immediate feedback. Knowing that the task is doable; a balance between personal skill level and the challenge presented. Strong concentration and focused attention. The activity is intrinsically rewarding.  Finding that balance between challenge and skills is best illustrated by this chart:

 

 This balance creates a pleasurable state for our brain. We’re not happy when our mind wanders and we’re not happy when we’re doing nothing. We’re happier when we’re busy.

  

 What can you do to increase the flow you feel at work? First, figure out what brings you flow already and think about how to maximize those moments. Dan Pink offers an excellent exercise to help with that

 Via Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us:

 Set a reminder on your computer or mobile phone to go off at forty random times in a week. Each time your device beeps, write down what you’re doing, how you’re feeling, and whether you’re in “flow.” Record your observations, look at the patterns, and consider the following questions:   Which moments produced feelings of “flow”? Where were you? What were you working on? Who were you with? Are certain times of day more flow-friendly than others? How could you restructure your day based on your findings? How might you increase the number of optimal experiences and reduce the moments when you felt disengaged or distracted? If you’re having doubts about your job or career, what does this exercise tell you about your true source of intrinsic motivation?   Second, do your best to take your regular work activities and add in the factors that create flow.

 Via Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life:

 …almost any activity can produce flow provided the relevant elements are present, it is possible to improve the quality of life by making sure that clear goals, immediate feedback, skills balanced to action, opportunities, and the remaining conditions of flow are as much possible a constant part of everyday life.

 Third, significantly increasing the amount of flow you experience is often the result of using your unique talents — your “signature strengths.”

 Via UPenn happiness expert Martin Seligman’s book, Authentic Happiness:

  Identify your signature strengths. Choose work that lets you use them every day. Recraft your present work to use your signature strengths more. If you are the employer, choose employees whose signature strengths mesh with the work they will do. If you are a manager, make room to allow employees to recraft the work within the bounds of your goals.  For more on flow, check out these books:

  Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us   

 Related posts:

 What does it take to become an expert at anything?

 6 things that will make you more productive

 Which people are most likely to experience “flow”?

 Join 25K+ readers. Get a free weekly update via email here.

 This piece originally appeared on Barking Up the Wrong Tree.

     SHARE THIS ARTICLE        0                    0          TIME Health Mental Health/Psychology  5 Weird Ways Stress Can Actually Be Good for You     Health.com /Amanda MacMillan   Aug. 22, 2014   SHARE               Getty Images   We hear over and over again that stress is unhealthy. And all that talk makes us, well, stressed. But getting worked up isn’t always a bad thing, says Richard Shelton, MD, vice chair for research in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Alabama Birmingham; after all, the body’s fight-or-flight response is meant to be protective, not harmful.

 MoreTherapy and Antidepressants Work Better Together Than Just Pills AloneRobin Williams’ Parkinson’s: The Link Between the Chronic Disease and DepressionVideo Shows SpaceX Rocket Exploding During Test Flight NBC NewsDeep Pockets, Dark Goals: How Will ISIS Keep Funding Terror? NBC NewsTwo Ancient Mayan Cities Found in Mexican Jungle NBC NewsIt’s only when stress becomes chronic, or when we feel we’re no longer in control of a situation, that it negatively affects our health and wellbeing.

 Here, then, are five reasons you should rest easier when it comes to everyday stress—and how a little short-term anxiety can actually benefit your brain and body.

 It helps boost brainpower

 Low-level stressors stimulate the production of brain chemicals called neurotrophins, and strengthen the connections between neurons in the brain. In fact, this may be the primary mechanism by which exercise (a physical stressor) helps boost productivity and concentration, Dr. Shelton says. Short-term psychological stressors, he adds, can have a similar effect, as well. Plus, animal studies have suggested that the body’s response to stress can temporarily boost memory and learning scores.

 Health.com: Best and Worst Ways to Cope With Stress

 It can increase immunity—in the short term

 “When the body responds to stress, it prepares itself for the possibility of injury or infection,” says Dr. Shelton. “One way it does this is by producing extra interleukins—chemicals that help regulate the immune system—providing at least a temporary defensive boost.” Research in animals support this idea, as well: A 2012 Stanford study found that subjecting lab rats to mild stress produced a “massive mobilization” of several types of immune cells in their bloodstreams.

 It can make you more resilient

 Learning to deal with stressful situations can make future ones easier to manage, according to a large body of research on the science of resilience. It’s the idea behind Navy SEAL training, Dr. Shelton says—although you can certainly benefit from less extreme experiences, as well. “Repeated exposure to stressful events gives [SEALs] the chance to develop both a physical and psychological sense of control, so when they’re in actually combat they don’t just shut down,” he says.

 Health.com: 25 Surprising Ways Stress Affects Your Health

 This idea may even hold true at a cellular level: A 2013 University of California San Francisco study found that while chronic stress promotes oxidative damage to our DNA and RNA, moderate levels of perceived daily stress actually seem to protect against it and enhance “psychobiological resilience.”

 It motivates you to succeed

 Good stress, also known in the scientific community as eustress, may be just the thing you need to get job done at work. “Think about a deadline: It’s staring you in the face, and it’s going to stimulate your behavior to really manage the situation effectively, rapidly, and more productively,” says Dr. Shelton. The key, he says, is viewing stressful situations as a challenge that you can meet, rather than an overwhelming, unpassable roadblock.

 Eustress can also help you enter a state of “flow,” a heightened sense of awareness and complete absorption into an activity, according to research from psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Flow can be achieved in the workplace, in sports, or in a creative endeavor (such as playing a musical instrument), and Csikszentmihalyi argues that it’s driven largely by pressure to succeed.

 Health.com: 13 Ways to Beat Stress in 15 Minutes or Less

 It can enhance child development

 Moms-to-be often worry that their own anxiety will negatively affect their unborn babies—and it can, when it’s unrelenting. But a 2006 Johns Hopkins study found that most children of women who reported mild to moderate stress levels during pregnancy actually showed greater motor and developmental skills by age 2 than those of unstressed mothers. The one exception: the children of women who viewed their pregnancy as more negative than positive had slightly lower attention capacity.

 Health.com: 12 Signs You May Have an Anxiety Disorder

 This article originally appeared on Health.com.

     SHARE THIS ARTICLE        0                    0          TIME Living technology  Controversial Underwear Ad Features Real Female Tech Execs     Eliana Dockterman @edockterman   Aug. 22, 2014   SHARE               An image from the Dear Kate Ada Campaign Dear Kate    These tech stars say posing in their undies empowers women in tech, but critics assert they only perpetuate rampant sexism in Silicon Valley MoreCracking the Girl Code: How to End the Tech Gender GapImagine if Half of All Tech Inventions and Start-Ups Came From WomenUnderwear company Dear Kate is known for using nontraditional models to give real women confidence boosts: previous lookbooks have included athletes, dancers and bloggers. But their newest campaign, featuring prominent women in tech coding while wearing nothing but their underwear, may go too far. Feminists argue the pictures compromise the fight for women to be taken seriously in an industry plagued by accusations of misogyny.

 MoreMost of Us Don’t Download Any Smartphone Apps at AllTaxi Drivers Are Using Apps to Disrupt the DisruptorsVideo Shows SpaceX Rocket Exploding During Test Flight NBC NewsDeep Pockets, Dark Goals: How Will ISIS Keep Funding Terror? NBC NewsTwo Ancient Mayan Cities Found in Mexican Jungle NBC News“Posing in your underwear undermines the message that you aim to be taken seriously as a technologist,” says Elissa Shevinsky, CEO of the startup Glimpse Labs and author of the article “That’s It—I’m Finished Defending Sexism in Tech,” on Business Insider.

 Popular Among Subscribers   The New Rules of Viral Fundraising  Subscribe Inside the Tragedy of FergusonThe Evolution of a NarcissistIn the campaign for the Ada collection—named after the world’s first computer programmer Ada Lovelace—founders and CEOs of tech companies pose in bras and panties with laptops balanced on their knees at fashion blog Refinery29’s offices. The pictures, while not quite Victoria’s Secret ads, do show plenty of bare skin. Proponents say the campaign is empowering—similar to recent girl-power advertising that pushes everything from Dove soap to Under Armour sportswear.

 “I run a company and you’re trying to have gravitas when you’re a CEO. I was a little bit like, ‘Is it a bad idea to participate in an underwear modeling shoot?'” says one of the models, Adda Birnir. Birnir is CEO and founder of Skillcrush, a website that aims to teach people—and especially women and girls—tech skills. “But it’s a feminist company…and I think it’s so important to support companies that are doing work like that. That overshadowed any of my concerns.”

 Dear Kate has a reputation for creating underwear that’s functional and attractive. Their technology provides extra protection for women during their time of the month and for new moms. Their advertising tends to focus on empowering real women. Founder and CEO Julie Sygiel said she was careful to have conversations with the models about how they would pose.

 “I think a lot of traditional lingerie photo shoots depict women as simply standing there looking sexy. They’re not always in a position of power and control,” she says. That’s why she asked the women to code in their underwear in a real tech workplace. “In our photo shoots it’s important to portray women who are active and ambitious. They’re not just standing around waiting for things to happen.”

 Along with the pictures are quotes from the women about how to ask for a promotion or advice on succeeding in the industry. The result is kind of bizarre: images of women in an office setting wearing nothing but lacy underwear juxtaposed with messages exhorting them to lean in. At the very least, it could send mixed messages about how to get what you want in the work place.

 But Birnir says, the shoot brings attention to some of the few women who are succeeding in the tech industry–even if the attention is on how they look. “I speak to a lot of women who ask, ‘Is it possible to be a woman in technology and be happy and like your work and not be sexually harassed every day?’ And showing more images of the women who are working in tech and love it and are kicking ass and taking names is a really good thing.”

 It’s novel approach to combatting the well-chronicled sexism in the tech industry. Only 18% of computer science degrees go to women, and just 20% of software developers are women. And of those women who do join the tech industry 56% leave mid-career according to research from the Harvard Business School.

 Some leave because they feel they cannot excel in the “boys club”: Researchers at Wharton, Harvard and MIT found that when they played investors two recordings of the exact same sales pitch—one read by a man, another read by a woman—the investors preferred the idea when read by a man’s voice two to one. But many women in the industry also complain of sexual harassment. Leaders of well-known startups like SnapChat, Tinder and Rap Genius—to name a few—have all been embroiled in sexual harassment or misogyny-tinged scandals this year alone.

 “In Silicon Valley, now more than ever, there is a tension between being seen in a romantic or sexual way and in a professional way. Presenting yourself undressed has inherently sexual overtones, and undermines being seen as a serious technologist,” says Shevinsky. “This is true for both men and for women. Prominent male technologies also follow norms for dress and lifestyle, so that the public focus is on their work not their personal lives. “

 “This ad is like a parody,” Shevinsky concludes. “I’m struggling to believe it’s real.”

 Skillcrush’s Birnir says she recognizes that posing in underwear has inherently sexual overtones. “But I just don’t think that the photos are in any way demeaning or overly-sexualizing. I think every one of the shots is really beautiful and empowering,” she says.

 Another one of the models, Quiessence Phillips, an information security professional who heads up the development at Black Girls Code—which aims to increase the number of women of color in technology—says that she was drawn to the campaign because they showed the diversity of women in technology. “The example that I set and the work that I do speaks for who I am. So taking a tasteful pictures in underwear which is the same as being in a bathing suit, to me, didn’t make a difference,” she says. “I thought it was showing a positive image.” She doesn’t expect that the high school- and middle school-aged girls she works with at Black Girls Code will see the campaign, but if they do, she thinks their takeaway will be that many different types of women can be successful: “We’re showing that women in tech come in all shapes and sizes.”

 But employers, investors and even coworkers who can now Google these women and see them in their underwear may not agree that the campaign is empowering. When I asked Birnir if she thought that posing in underwear would undermine a woman’s chances to get funding or get hired, she said: “I don’t understand why that would have any impact on the decision-making process.”

 “I don’t know,” she added. “If this makes a sexist investor that much more sexist, I don’t care.”

  

  

     SHARE THIS ARTICLE        0                    0          TIME Living Crime  Parents Turn Teen Daughter into Police After Finding Naked Cellphone Photos     Justin Worland @justinworland   Aug. 22, 2014   SHARE            The mother says she was concerned for her daughter's future The parents of a 13-year-old Virginia girl turned their daughter over to police after finding nude photos on her phone, the Dinwiddie County Sheriff’s Office confirmed Friday.

 “Looking through the phone and the tablet we did find sexual pictures, conversations that were very inappropriate for her age,” the girl’s mother told a local television station.

 The mother said she is particularly concerned about whether the people she shared photos with were adults. The sheriff’s office declined to provide details about the investigation, but confirmed that it was looking into whether adults were involved.

 “We believe them to be 17-18ish… Definitely older than her,” the mother told the local CBS affiliate.

 The mother said she turned her daughter over to authorities out of concern for her daughter’s future.

 “We did this now to protect her for now and in the future, because this could get worse,” she said. “She could be taken.”

     SHARE THIS ARTICLE        0                    0          TIME Living Internet  A New Viral Fundraiser: The ‘Abortion Rights’ Tacos and Beer Challenge     Laura Stampler @LauraStampler   Aug. 22, 2014   SHARE               Soft Chicken Tacos Getty Images   What started as a Twitter joke has turned into another social media funding movement While it’s unclear what dumping a bucket of ice over your head has to do with ALS research, there is no question that the Ice Bucket Challenge — inspiring $53 million in donations and some 2.4 million videos posted on Facebook — has been incredibly effective and might even change the future of charitable fundraising.

 And so, political reporter Andrea Grimes decided to apply this nonlinear, activity-based fundraising ideology to another cause. The directive is simple: Eat a taco or drink a beer, and then donate to any abortion rights fund — from Planned Parenthood to another local or national organization.

 I have watched 4 bucket videos, still have no urge to dump bucket on self. Likelihood of donating to charity remains about same.— Andrea Grimes (@andreagrimes) August 18, 2014

 I hereby challenge y’all to eat a taco or drink a beer and give money to an abortion fund #tacoorbeerchallenge— Andrea Grimes (@andreagrimes) August 18, 2014

 THE TERRIBLE PART IS THAT YOU HAVE TO EAT A TACO OR DRINK A BEER get it #tacoorbeerchallenge— Andrea Grimes (@andreagrimes) August 18, 2014

 While the #TacoBeerChallenge started as an ironic Twitter joke, the straightforward message resonated and pictures of carne asada wrapped in a corn tortilla are proliferating on the web–though members of the pro-life movement have tried to hijack the hashtag to harness the attention for their cause.

 “What do ice buckets have to do with ALS? I don’t know. What do tacos and beer have to do with abortion? I don’t know that either,” Grimes writes for RH Reality Check. “What I do know is that eating tacos and drinking beer is more pleasurable than getting doused with ice water, and that lawmakers around the country are passing increasingly restrictive anti-abortion access laws.”

 Grimes continued that a first donation to an abortion fund can be hard, but, “It’s so not-shameful, in fact, that you can be the kind of regular ol’ human being who eats a taco or drinks a beer and funds abortion.”

 The Taco or Beer Challenge’s Tumblr also showcases other Taco-eating related videos as well as a database of abortion-rights funds to donate to.

 Here are some of the early participants:

 Can't stop won't stop! #TacoOrBeerChallenge take two! This donation goes to my home @AbortionFunds: @NYAAF ❤️ http://t.co/LPvTJfq34X— Katie Klabusich (@Katie_Speak) August 22, 2014

 @MStutzman & I ate the tacos, donations to @FundTexasChoice happening next #TacoOrBeerChallenge http://t.co/O50dOn6Pm5— Colette Rose (@bklyn_colette) August 21, 2014

 @andreagrimes 3 tacos, 1 margarita, & 3 donations: CAIR project, Carolina Abortion Fund, & TEA! #TacoOrBeerChallenge http://t.co/qBUjscnwEf— Lauren (@laurend986) August 22, 2014

 Let’s see if Oprah, Justin Timberlake, and Jimmy Kimmel get on board with this initiative, too.

  

     SHARE THIS ARTICLE        0                    0          TIME Health Aging  Women Give Way More Elder Care to Aging Parents Than Men     Michael D. Lemonick @MLemonick   Aug. 22, 2014   SHARE            It’s nearly half a century since men were shocked—shocked!—to learn that women weren’t entirely satisfied with being second-class citizens. Much has changed since that time, in politics, business, sports and other realms, but not necessarily so much at home, where women still do most of the housework and most of the childcare.

 And now it turns out that spend far more time caring for their aging parents as well. That’s the dismal conclusion of a research study presented this week at the annual meeting of the American Sociological Association, in San Francisco. If you look at husbands and wives alone, says study author Angelina Grigoryeva, a doctoral student at Princeton University, things look equal. “Each spouse,” she says, “tends to take care of his or her own parents.”

 But elder care is more complicated than that, since siblings are also part of the equation. And when you factor them in, the picture becomes very different: her analysis, based on her analysis of the data rich University of Michigan Health and Retirement Study, shows that daughters give an average of 12.3 hours of elder care per month, while sons provide just 5.6. “The results,” she says, “suggest that daughters try to provide as much care as they can, while sons only step in when there’s nobody else to do it.”

 It’s not necessarily that men are selfish jerks. “The difference between elder care and housework,” says Grigoryeva, “is that the former is very hands-on, and often requires intimacy, so mothers might tend to prefer to be helped by their daughters rather than their sons.” Since women outlive men, on average, and there are more female than male elders, that could contribute to the skewed statistics.

 Grigoryeva also notes another difference between elder care and other forms of domestic chores: “For housework and childcare,” she says, “the gender gap is still there, but it has narrowed over time.” That’s not what she finds with elder care. “This suggests that there may be some cultural inertia involved. People talk a lot the gap in reference to housework and child care, but not so much about caring for the aging.”

 For the moment, at least, thanks to her new study, we are.

  

  

     SHARE THIS ARTICLE        0                    0          TIME Living Food & Drink  7 Truly Bizarre Beer Laws     Mike Pomranz / Food & Wine   Aug. 22, 2014   SHARE               Beer Ansel Olson—Flickr RF/Getty Images   This article originally appeared on FoodandWine.com/fwx.

 MoreMcDonald’s Is Testing Mozzarella Sticks With Marinara SauceThese Colleges Are The Best Tippers and The Most Polite CustomersVideo Shows SpaceX Rocket Exploding During Test Flight NBC NewsDeep Pockets, Dark Goals: How Will ISIS Keep Funding Terror? NBC NewsTwo Ancient Mayan Cities Found in Mexican Jungle NBC NewsEarlier this summer, the Missouri legislature approved a law allowing the sale of single 12-ounce bottles of beer in the state. Despite bigger bottles being legal for individual purchase, the traditional 12-ounce size had to be sold in packs of at least three.

 The measure’s overwhelming support (passing by a 143 to 1 margin) proved it was an idea whose time had come. However, the United States still has a love affair with its restrictive beer laws, often dating back to the original outrageous beer law: Prohibition.

 Here are some strange state laws still in place, which you may or may not recognize based on your life, travels and level of alcohol consumption.

 1. Size Matters in Alabama

 A law passed in 2012 finally allowed the sale of beer bottles larger than 16 ounces. The new limit: a comparatively whopping 25.4 ounces, a.k.a. 750 milliliters. So, sorry 40-ouncers, you’re still not allowed at this party.

 2. Florida’s Growler Policy Leaves Many Growling

 In a quirk of the law in Florida, beer must be sold in containers either smaller than 32 ounces or larger than 128 ounces. Stuck in the middle is the industry-standard growler size of 64 ounces, leaving many who love the craft beer to-go jugs frustrated. But you can just buy two 32-ounce growlers. Yup, that’s perfectly legal.

 3. Maine Respects St. Patrick’s Day

 Maine’s hours for alcohol sales aren’t terribly restrictive. Most days, booze can be slung from 6 a.m. to 1 a.m.—except on Sundays, when sales can’t commence until 9 a.m.

 But what if St. Patrick’s Day falls on a Sunday? That very real scenario happened in 2013, leading the state legislature to pass a bill creating an exemption allowing 6 a.m. Sunday alcohol sales only if St. Patrick’s Day falls on a Sunday. Presumably, the populous celebrated the decision with green beer.

 4. Does Indiana Like Its Beer Warm?

 In Indiana, a legal fight is under way challenging a current state law that forces grocery stores, convenience stores and pharmacies to only sell beer warm. Oddly enough, selling cold beer at a liquor store is fine. Maybe that’s why the grocery store keeps its thermostat so low?

 And don’t you laugh, Oklahoma: That state also restricts some beer sales by temperature.

 5. Massachusetts Not Happy About Happy Hour

 Did you know some states have banned happy hour? Massachusetts became a leader in the movement when the state broadly banned happy hours in 1984. The law doesn’t seem to be changing anytime soon, either. Other states take similar stances on drink promotions including Illinois, North Carolina, Oklahoma and, as recently as 2012, Utah.

 The trend isn’t all one directional though: Kansas brought happy hour back to life, also in 2012.

 6. A Double Standard in Colorado?

 The state that brought you legalized marijuana still has some qualms about its brews. In Colorado, most supermarkets and convenience stores can only sell beer that is 3.2 percent ABW (alcohol by weight) or lower. Stronger suds are relegated to liquor stores and other appropriately licensed establishments.

 7. Eat Up in Utah

 In Utah, restaurant patrons cannot purchase alcohol without also purchasing food. Things became so hotly contested, that in 2013 the state legislature had to clarify the law to allow waiters to serve drink orders while customers looked over the menu!

 More from Food & Wine:

  Is Beer the New Gatorade? Best Bars in America Best New Bars in the U.S.       SHARE THIS ARTICLE        0                    0          TIME Living fashion  In Defense of That J-Crew Gingham Shirt     Alex Fitzpatrick @alexjamesfitz   Aug. 22, 2014   SHARE            Op-ed gingham style Updated 12:05 p.m. ET

 Listen up, folks: That blue checkered J-Crew gingham style shirt everyone’s making fun of today? Stop it. That shirt is wonderful.

 The frock-mockery started with an Instagram account that’s posting images of various men (and women, and even babies) wearing the very same J-Crew shirt. There’s often something on Instagram or Tumblr that people are making fun of, from men who sit with their legs too wide on the subway to guys who hate shopping. This new one’s admittedly pretty funny on first glance: Hey, look at all these dudes wearing the same shirt!

                ( function() { var func = function() { var iframe = document.getElementById('wpcom-iframe-form-80f1bf9f92ba0017119e0cf0c9c8a98a-53f8486fbf8d2'); if ( iframe ) { iframe.submit(); } } if (document.readyState === 'complete') { func.apply(); /* compat for infinite scroll */ } else if ( document.addEventListener ) { document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', func, false ); } else if ( document.attachEvent ) { document.attachEvent( 'onreadystatechange', func ); } } )();                 ( function() { var func = function() { var iframe = document.getElementById('wpcom-iframe-form-bc43ef6e720967f38b5e25feb4519f84-53f8486fc07b5'); if ( iframe ) { iframe.submit(); } } if (document.readyState === 'complete') { func.apply(); /* compat for infinite scroll */ } else if ( document.addEventListener ) { document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', func, false ); } else if ( document.attachEvent ) { document.attachEvent( 'onreadystatechange', func ); } } )();                 ( function() { var func = function() { var iframe = document.getElementById('wpcom-iframe-form-a6502c996af5eae532f6dece2a4d95e3-53f8486fc171c'); if ( iframe ) { iframe.submit(); } } if (document.readyState === 'complete') { func.apply(); /* compat for infinite scroll */ } else if ( document.addEventListener ) { document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', func, false ); } else if ( document.attachEvent ) { document.attachEvent( 'onreadystatechange', func ); } } )();                 ( function() { var func = function() { var iframe = document.getElementById('wpcom-iframe-form-543e8328957a546e842124e917346d61-53f8486fc1bf4'); if ( iframe ) { iframe.submit(); } } if (document.readyState === 'complete') { func.apply(); /* compat for infinite scroll */ } else if ( document.addEventListener ) { document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', func, false ); } else if ( document.attachEvent ) { document.attachEvent( 'onreadystatechange', func ); } } )();  MoreOne Problem With Plus-Size Fashion: Customers Aren’t Buying ItSee Nicki Minaj’s Wild Style EvolutionVideo Shows SpaceX Rocket Exploding During Test Flight NBC NewsDeep Pockets, Dark Goals: How Will ISIS Keep Funding Terror? NBC NewsTwo Ancient Mayan Cities Found in Mexican Jungle NBC NewsHere’s the thing: yeah, that shirt’s popular. And yeah, I own one! But there’s a good reason for that: It’s a pretty classic American shirt great for all occasions, it almost never goes out of style and it’s super easy to pull out of my closet and match with a whole bunch of different pants and shoes so I look decent with minimal effort, which is really the apex of men’s fashion for me and probably lots of other dudes (It’s all about efficiency.)

 So the shirt is fine, folks.

 But fashion issues aside, there’s another problem with this Instagram page — it’s totally a form of cyberbullying. It seems like whoever’s running the account is either taking creepshots of men wearing a gingham shirt while unaware their photo is being taken or grabbing such images from elsewhere on Instagram or the wider web. Either way, this isn’t cool — because while it may be all in good fun to whoever’s running the account, the page isn’t laughing with the men rocking the gingham shirts, it’s laughing at them. And nobody, whether man, woman or adorable tiny baby, deserves to be Insta-shamed about their wardrobe.

 Update: Taylor Lorenz over at the Daily Mail interviewed the creator of the Instagram account, who seems to be doing it less as an insult and more of a tribute to this fine piece of apparel. Carry on, good sir!

     SHARE THIS ARTICLE        0                    0          TIME Living  Why Your Fear of Looking Stupid Is Making You Look Stupid     Megan Gibson @MeganJGibson   Aug. 22, 2014   SHARE            New research indicates that we're all scared of asking for help and looking dumb. But we shouldn't be -- people find you more competent if you come to them for advice Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to ask someone’s advice, but were worried you would look incompetent? Well, in the words of RuPaul, “Your fear of looking stupid is making you look stupid.”

 MoreVideo Shows SpaceX Rocket Exploding During Test Flight NBC NewsDeep Pockets, Dark Goals: How Will ISIS Keep Funding Terror? NBC NewsTwo Ancient Mayan Cities Found in Mexican Jungle NBC NewsWhite House Rolls Out New Birth Control Accommodation For Nonprofits Huffington PostCouple's 10-Year Anniversary Photo Captures What Romance Looks Like When You're Parents Huffington PostIn fact, a new report released this week by researchers from Harvard Business School and Wharton School suggests that RuPaul is on to something, (though, obviously, the researchers phrased it in a slightly more delicate fashion). The research, which will be published in an upcoming issue of Management Science, found that though many people are afraid to ask for advice — and risk looking incompetent — they’ve actually got it backwards. People who seek advice are likely to be thought of as more competent, at least by the people they’re asking.

 The researchers came to that conclusion by conducting a series of studies. In the first, researchers tried to determine whether people are actually afraid of looking incompetent by telling participants to imagine that they needed advice from a co-worker. Some were then told that their hypothetical selves would actually seek advice and others were told they would not. Participants were then asked to rate how competent they thought their hypothetical co-worker found them. Turns out, the people who hypothetically asked for help felt that they would be viewed as less competent than those who didn’t.

 Which is understandable, to an extent. Though the old adage says “there are no stupid questions,” anyone who has spent time on the snark-riddled internet knows that that’s not actually the case. Sometimes it feels wiser to shut up and muddle through, than risk looking like a complete fool.

 Yet that’s where the new reasearch gets interesting. In the next study, researchers paired participants with an unseen partner that they could only communicate with over instant message. (Their partners did not actually exist; the messages sent were programmed by the researchers.) The participants were then asked to do a brain teaser, before handing the task off to their partner. Once they’d finished the task, they received a message from their “partner” that either read, “I hope it went well. Do you have any advice?” or “I hope it went well.” Later, when asked by the researchers, people rated the partners who asked for advice as being more competent than those who had simply wished them well. What’s more, the harder the brain teaser, the more competent the advice-seeking “partners” were rated.

 Even more interesting, is that when the researchers asked participants to rate their own self-confidence after completing a task, the ones who had been asked for advice felt better about themselves than the ones who had not been asked.

 The researchers concluded that people’s egos are boosted when they’re consulted and asked to dole out advice, which in turn leads them to think more highly of the people who’ve just boosted their egos.

 Essentially, people are so flattered to be asked for advice that their heads swell a little and they think of themselves as smart; that reflects well on the advice-seeker who is in turn believed to be smart enough to recognize their game. So take our advice: the next time you’re itching to ask for help, do it.

     SHARE THIS ARTICLE        0                    0          TIME Living Parenting  Art or Porn: When Does Posting Nude Photos of a Toddler Cross the Line?     Brian Braiker @slarkpope   Aug. 22, 2014   SHARE               Wyatt Neumann's daughter Wyatt Neumann   Maybe there's something slightly tragic to be said about the Internet having conditioned us all to look at things through smut-colored glasses If you follow any parents on Instagram or Facebook, you’ve seen something like the snapshot Wyatt Neumann posted last year. His 2-year-old daughter, Stella, completely naked, jumps on an unmade motel bed, joy blooming across her face.

 MoreParents Turn Teen Daughter into Police After Finding Naked Cellphone PhotosWhy Access to Screens Is Lowering Kids’ Social SkillsVideo Shows SpaceX Rocket Exploding During Test Flight NBC NewsDeep Pockets, Dark Goals: How Will ISIS Keep Funding Terror? NBC NewsTwo Ancient Mayan Cities Found in Mexican Jungle NBC NewsYou may have even posted a photo just like it of your own kid. Chances are, though, you didn’t get comments like the ones Neumann did: “This guy is a class A d–k.” Or this one: “PEDOS CAN EASILY FIND THESE PICTURES AND JACK OFF TO THEM.”

 Popular Among Subscribers   The New Rules of Viral Fundraising  Subscribe Inside the Tragedy of FergusonThe Evolution of a NarcissistOr maybe you shared a snapshot of your little one, frolicking outside, lifting her dress — in that unselfconscious way every toddler does. Neumann, a professional photographer, posted these and more on Instagram. Many of the ensuing comments were profanity-laced. One said: “I want to puke. The nude photos are gross and disturbing.”

 These photos, and more like them, are the centerpieces of Neumann’s latest solo show at the Safari gallery in Soho, New York, which runs through the end of the week. Titled “I Feel Sorry For Your Children,” the exhibit documents a 12-day road trip he took with Stella last year, from Zion National Park to New York City. He accompanies each photo with his original Instagram caption — usually with the hashtag #dadlife — and a comment from a complete stranger. It is an extreme iteration of the more judgmental and moralistic strains we encounter in modern parenting.

 And yet, the photos raise an interesting question about how much we share about our kids on social media. Neumann happens to be an award-winning fine art photographer with commercial clients like Reebok and Visa. But you wouldn’t necessarily have that context if you were to stumble upon his photos online somewhere for the first time. Pictures like the one of his daughter sitting between his legs in a bathtub might trigger a twinge of discomfort for the candidness and intimacy they capture. It’s a beautiful image, but does it belong in a public venue frequented by perverts and prudes alike? Here’s where I land: However uncomfortable a given photo may make me feel, I would be even less comfortable telling someone they can’t post it.

 The roadtrip photos — Stella in her carseat; Stella using a portable training potty at a roadside pitstop; Stella eating barbeque — were first posted to his Instagram account. His friend Claire Bidwell Smith, author of the best-selling memoir “The Rules of Inheritance,” told her own Instagram followers to check them out. From there the images made their way to the online message board Get Off My Internets.

 And then came the hate: Parenting trolls descended with a vengeance, flagging so many of his pictures that his account was suspended mid-roadtrip — 6,000 photos gone — but not before flooding his posts and inbox with hate speech and insults.

 It was clearly too much for some to stomach. I wonder if these people — protected by the anonymity the Internet provides — would have been less quick to assault the parent’s character if it was Stella’s mother who posted the photos. And maybe there is something slightly tragic to be said about the Internet having conditioned us all to look at things through smut-colored glasses. “The Internet is for porn,” goes the famous line from the Tony-winning musical Avenue Q–and most of the time I’m the last person to complain about it. But there are multiple references to pedophiles in the Instagram comments to his photos. In the worst instances, commenters have accused Neumann of trading in kiddie porn.

 “What they wanted me to do was stop posting photos,” he told me at his exhibit which opened last month. “They wanted to take away my ability to do that. The more this conservative, puritanical, fundamentalist ideology starts to permeate our culture [the more] it’s compressing our ability to express ourselves. Rather than retreat, I pushed forward and turned it into a beautiful art show.”

 Anyone with a child has hundreds of these kinds of snapshots on a smartphone. I do. We all have our own rules about how much we’ll share of our kids’ lives online. I certainly don’t post any photos of mine undressed or, for that matter, doing anything I think they’d find compromising in the future. But they’re older than Stella. When they were younger I might have shared a bathtub shot or two, or one of them copping a potty-training squat. Harmless stuff. But even then, it would have most likely been on Facebook where at least I am given the illusion that I can control who has access to the pictures.

 These days, whenever I take a photo of my kids, ages 6 and 9, they invariably say “Don’t put that on Facebook!” or “Let me choose the filter before you put it on Instagram.” I let them call the shots, most of the time.

 Neumann, whose own father died before he could get to know him, errs on the side of openness. He’s creating an archive for his kids and who am I to judge him for sharing it? “I was raised on a hippie commune,” he says. “I grew up naked. My life with my father is something I lived through in photos. I got to know him through the artifacts he left.”

 It’s painfully obvious that Neumann not only loves his children, but is also a present, involved and nurturing father. Author Bidwell Smith thought she had made that point when she shared her friend’s pictures.

 “People box parenthood into such a small realm of what we’re supposed to be with our children,” she told me. “Wyatt blows that up. His work is brilliant and gorgeous–the way he captures childhood in this fleeting way. Kids are free and magical and not inhibited by the cultural boundaries we all are. It made me sad that that distinction wasn’t made in their minds.”

 The photos he shares of Stella are striking in their intimacy and universality. His wife, Jena Cordova, told me that she would feel lucky to have one such picture from her own childhood; Stella and her older brother Takota have thousands. (I am granted an interview with Stella, but she is feeling shy and buries her face into her Dad’s neck. Also, there is a smartphone nearby streaming cartoons.)

 Like the comic who says what everyone is thinking but too scared to utter out loud, Neumann makes photographs of his kids as timeless as they are personal: his daughter looking tired, his daughter ecstatic, sultry, bored, human.

 “It’s very confusing to me,” says Cordova. “Even when I didn’t have children, my mind wouldn’t have gone there. It makes me sad for a lot of people that it would even cross their minds.”

 In that respect Neumann’s photos are something of a Rorschach test: You see in them what you want to see. I see a doting dad who happens to be a photographer with a killer eye — and, yes, a desire to share. Haters, as they say on the Internet and playgrounds everywhere, are gonna hate.

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