Plot
In the year 3000, the deep space salvage ship Mother III locates the vanished starship Demeter in the Carpathian System. Captain Abraham Van Helsing and his crew composed of the blonde assistant Aurora Ash; the crippled navigator Arthur "The Professor" Holmwood, who believes that he is a genius; the strong and dumb Humvee; the intern Mina Murry; and the drug addicted 187, decide to claim the possession of Demeter. While exploring the spacecraft, they see a tape of fifty years ago of Captain Varna telling that he was locked in his cabin since his crew was acting weird after getting a cargo of coffins in Transylvania station. When 187 decides to search in the coffins for some possible hidden dope, he cuts his hand and his blood awakes Count Orlock, a.k.a. Count Dracula. When Aurora discloses who Dracula is, the survivors try to find a way to destroy the vampire.
Keywords: 3000s, coffin, cyborg, dracula, impalement, leather-pants, spaceship, spoof, trapped-in-space, vampire
In space, the sun never rises.
187: I want to watch my anaconda spit all over your snow white ass.
187: Did I ever tell you how many times I'd see you and want to ejaculate all over your bazonkas... All the times I stayed up late, high as a kite, in the non-gravitational atmosphere, while I stroked my anaconda, and dreamed about your snow-white ass
Humvee: All that bloodsuckin', that's some white people shit.
Capt. Abraham Van Helsing: For a computer, you sure are bitchy.::Aurora Ash: It's all in the programming, baby.
Capt. Abraham Van Helsing: He's after Aurora, he wants to kill her!::Arthur "The Professor" Holmwood: But I believe he said he wants to tittie fuck her first.
The High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle (HMMWV), better known as the Humvee, is a military 4WD motor vehicle created by AM General. It has largely supplanted the roles formerly served by smaller Jeeps such as the M151 1⁄4-short-ton (230 kg) MUTT, the M561 "Gama Goat", their M718A1 and M792 ambulance versions, the CUCV, and other light trucks. Primarily used by the United States Armed Forces, it is also used by numerous other countries and organizations and even in civilian adaptations. The Hummer series was also inspired by the HMMWVs.
The Humvee uses independent suspensions and portal geared hubs similar to portal axles to make for a full 16 inches of ground clearance. The vehicle also has disc brakes on all 4 wheels, and 4-wheel double-wishbone suspension. The brake discs are not mounted at the wheels as on conventional automobiles, but are inboard, attached to the outside of each differential. The front and rear differentials are Torsen type, and the center differential is a regular, lockable type. There are at least 17 variants of the HMMWV in service with the United States Armed Forces. HMMWVs serve as cargo/troop carriers, automatic weapons platforms, ambulances (four litter patients or eight ambulatory patients), M220 TOW missile carriers, M119 howitzer prime movers, M1097 Avenger Pedestal Mounted Stinger platforms, MRQ-12 direct air support vehicles, S250 shelter carriers, and other roles. The HMMWV is capable of fording 2.5 ft (76 cm) normally, or 5 ft (1.5 m) with the deep-water fording kits installed.