The ghosts are still arguing! This song was written by me and Steve Cartwright (with additions by Trevor Peake) and was part of the play 'Daniel Lambert's Trousers', written in 2012. Trevor is playing the part of Henry and I'm being the downtrodden Richard. Lyrics: HENRY: Dicky Dicky Dicky Dick, he's so bad he'll make you sick He's horrid and he's round the bend, I knew he'd make a sticky end Crookback on a twisted frame, a devil he in all but name I bet Old Nick and Dirty Dick they are one and the same (I bet Old Nick and Dirty Dick they are one and the same) Dickity, Dickity, Dickity, Dickity, Dickity, Dickity Dick RICHARD: I'm Dick, I'm Dick, I'm Dick the Third, I'm not so bad as you have heard That Shakespeare pillock's much to blame, he's blackened my unsullied name Don't listen to that wordy bard, a crookback, look ye, how absurd A pox he'd shower upon the truth if he could juice it up a bit (A pox he'd shower upon the truth if he could juice it up a bit) Poxy, poxy, poxy, poxy, poxy poxy git! HENRY: Now listen here, hang on a bit, do you think we're all that thick We know your brother George liked booze and he could knock it back a bit But don't you think we might suppose, since he was next up for the throne You might not have been so opposed to drown him in a vat of it (He might not have been so opposed to drown him in a vat of it) Bubbly, bubbly, bubbly, bubbly, drowned him in a vat RICHARD But here's what I don't understand; for 3 long years I ruled this Land                 I wasn't such an awful King.. HENRY   You lost one Battle, that's the thing.. RICHARD Yet now I'm steeped in Infamy HENRY    Epitome of Villainy RICHARD That's all your Bad Publicity.. HENRY    The Victors write the History RICHARD Just vile Tudor hypocrisy BOTH      The Winner writes the History. RICHARD  Not fair. Not fair. Not fair. It's SO unfair! HENRY There, There. HENRY: But while we're on the subject Dick, let's see how you can answer this Didn't you add a little twist, say Edward was a bigamist The Prince's claim was dodgy now, and so you put them in the tower When you were king you murdered them and somehow got away with it (When you were king you murdered them and somehow got away with it) Sticky, sticky, sticky, sticky, sticky, blood and goo RICHARD: Hang on a bit, I think you should, I know it doesn't look too good But George was taken to the tower, 'twas Ed, not me, what put him there As for my nephews tell me pray, why would I have 'em done away When everybody knew they had a dodgy geneology (When everybody knew they had a dodgy geneology) Dad, no Dad, no Dad, no Dad, no Dad, no Dad, no Dad BOTH: And so we go to Bosworth Town RICHARD: there Henry Tudor ran me down A horse a horse, my kingdom for a horse is what I screamèd out That traitor Stanley what a chump, no wonder I had got the hump Just on the stroke of extra time he stuck one in for t'other side (Just on the stroke of extra time he stuck one in for t'other side He stuck one in, he rammed it in, we think he was offside) Nighty, nighty, nighty, nighty, nighty, night good night

• published: 04 Feb 2013
• views: 4594