• Lyrics: play full screen play karaoke
• Cool - M.i.r.v.
• The Holy Boot - M.i.r.v.
• Pipe Wrench - M.i.r.v.
• Cup Of Coffee - M.i.r.v.
• Souvlaki - M.i.r.v.
• The Walk Back Home - M.i.r.v.
• Jumpin' Bones - M.i.r.v.
• Jerky Beef - M.i.r.v.
• Hocus Pocus Ding Dong - M.i.r.v.
• M.i.r.v. - M.i.r.v.
• Shave My Face Off - M.i.r.v.
• Cantina - M.i.r.v.

I wish I was cool
Yeah, cooler than you
I wish I was cool
Yeah, cooler than you
I wish I had bangs and black leather jacket
A movie-star girl and a big hit record
I wish I was cool
Yeah, cooler than you
I am a nobody
I just want to be cool
I am a nobody
I just want to be cool
(Yeah)
I wish I was bad
Yeah, bad as fuck
I wish I was bad
Yeah, bad as fuck
I wish I had a full-blown Maserati,
Thousand-dollar bills and a personal swami
I wish I was cool
Yeah, cooler than you
I am a nobody
I just want to be cool
I pretend that I'm you for a little while
I just want to be as cool as you
(Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool)
I am a nobody
I just want to be cool
I am a nobody
I just want to be cool

I do this
This is what I do
It makes me feel lke somebody
I eat this
This is what I eat
I keeps me alive
I drive this
This is what I drive
It gets me from church to church
But one of these days just once I'd
Im'ona party all night long
Im'ona dance with the snake into the
dawn
Im'ona give 'em the holy boot
I wake up Monday mornin' in my
Sunday suit
Im'ona put the nose of a clown
Fill the Winnebago and drive into
town
I'm feelin' fine
Steak dinner for a $1.99
I read this
This is what I read
It keeps me amused
I see this
This is what I see
It makes me scared
I use this
This is what I use
It's what I need
But just for one night, if I could
Party all night long
Uh readin' call firl ads off the casi-
no lawn
Im'ona give 'em the holy boot
I get a healin' from a priest and a
prostitute
Ran'n rave'n make a fuss
Bucket 'o change gettin' hit by a bus
I'm feelin' fine
Steak dinner for $1.99
I sell this
This is what I sell
It makes me money
I need this
This is what I need
It's what I can use
Im'ona party all night long
Gonna drive through the desert
Singing my song
Im'ona give 'em the holy boot
With all the fire'n brimstone sul-
fur'n soot
Break into area 51
Fake an abduction hit em'n run
I'm feelin' fine

Don't be afraid, body
alterations aren't that
painful (laugh.)
Oh yeah, don't get bored, I
don't want you to get
bored
Why don't you just have a
seat. Why don't you sit
down, God damn it!
I think I got something to
say (laugh.)
There's something I wanna
tell you.
The first time I did this
kinda thing, I was a little
nervous too.
You just gotta take it in,
just relax.
Just relax and enjoy it
(laugh.)
Well, this kinda reminds
me of when I was in, what
was it, uh... Junior High
School (laugh.)
In Oklahoma... now that's
a place where you can
relax
I was, well, there was
Babyon's Bat, That guy
could swing a bat.
They had these things
called licks, I loved licks.
They'd shave off, they'd
shave the corners, wasn't
no corners,
but they'd shave off a bat

Danny Weedsmoke went to Woolworth's
Got his picture on a t-shirt
Simple pleasures fill his heart with
Glee
With a hole in his cap bill
Pipe attached to get his lungs full
Doubles on his pose as he says 'cheese'
'No flashes on stage if you please'
Under the big top it's a three ring circus
With revolving casts of characters
Enjoy the tate of pink popcorn
Mixed with the smell of dung
Just like a cup of coffee
Bitter yet satisfying
I know when my time comes
I hope to say... It was a hell of a ride
Charles so careful picks his poison
Just like Cy Young's bag of rosin
A better friend I'm sure I'll never meet
"Here's to you and here's to me
Hope we never disagree
If we do, screw you and here's to me"

(instrumental)
Nuclear Family:
Hello. I think you have the
wrong number. Helen, get
me a beer. Which Roy are
you speaking of? Oh _that_
Roy, Well, I think he's away in his
room. Well he's playing on
those machines, on those.
.. on those infernal
machines, I don't know
exactly what he does all
day long. Helen, get in
here! You gotta look at
this. Oh, just a minute,
someone's claling me.
What is it? It's terrible! Oh
my goodness. Oh dear
goodness. My God, they've
done it again.

The Nightmare Premonition
(Two Truck Loaders)
Screams and coughs
Get this stuff on the truck,
I got shit to unload, I gotta
get on another run, load
em up load em up, come
Hey, Jer, what ya packin'
I just got another one of
them freaks. Lock 'em in.
The Walk Back
Home
The can I'm kickin'. Well,
It's a lot like me. Just gets
used and refused. Crump-
pled and empty.
I can't score with the
chicks. I can't drive fast
cars like the older kids.
Faces in the windows in
the shops downtown, laugh
at my little world tumbling
down.
On the walk back home, the
walk back home.
On the walk back home, the
walk back home.
The strings are rusty and
the finish is cracked, next
to the old T.V., lying half
intact.
My name in lights, or on
the T.V. screen. I'll be
playin stages while the
girls scream. The youngest
kid to ever hit the heights.
Trippy days and wild
nights.
On the Walk back home, the
walk back home.
On the Walk back home, the
walk back home.
The can I'm kickin. It seems
a bit like me. Strange how
it ends in the same place,
too, getting kicked down
the tracks till it finds
someone new.
On the Walk back home, the
walk back home.
On the Walk back home, the
walk back home.
Something caught my eye
on the walk back home.
I found my ticket in the
trash on the walk back
home.
I found my guitar in the
trash on the walk back
home.
Something caught my eye
on the walk back home.
I found my ticket in the
trash on the walk back
home.
The Drunk Dad:
Roy, boy where you been,
I'm tired of you messin
around with that. Get on
out here and get yourself
chores going. Get that
banjo outta my face, and
get me a beer.
The Club Owner:
Hey whoa hold on there,
hold on. I'll be right with
you pal. Hey listen, have
you listened to these boys
up there, they're gonna be
playin the grimey dime.
These guys are the great-
est in the world. I'm gonna
tell ya, I discovered them
myself. Hold on pal. Hey,
over there in the corner,
pay attention, this is the
best band you're ever
gonna here, I'm tellin ya
right now. These are the
best bands. That'll be a
dollar and quarter pal.

I got something better
to do
conscience: uh hu
Than stand here and listen
to you
conscience: Yeah right
Pick another thought to
think
conscience: is that a
threat
Or I'll numb you with a
good strong drink
conscience: OOOOH
Anyway she's not so fine
conscience: Ten alarm
Choose another state of mind
conscience: schizophrenia
I'll wait and call on the
phone
Have a mental lapse and
leave me alone
conscience: Leave me
alone
Chorus:
conscience: What's the
matter fool, don't hesitate
Any other time is much too
late. Better wash away
that yellow streak. Reason
with your flesh and not
with me. Time for little boy
to be a man. Down a shot
of Jack and take her hand.
Tell it to you straight,
we're all alone. I think she
really wants to jump your
bones. Uh Hu. Uh Hu. Uh Hu.
Uh Hu.
Be a pity to go out of my
head
conscience: That's true
Over this little tramp in
conscience: Oh yeah
Especially bad for you
concience: Who me
Cause you'd be leaving too
conscience: Oh yeah
On the other hand I just
Just send you on your way
conscience: What
And have a little change of
mind
But first can you help me with my first line
conscience: You won't get
away with it
Chorus
Solo
Chorus
Do you leave before
the crowd she says
conscience: Uh Hu
Do you wanna take a cab
or walk she says
conscience: Uh Hu
Can you come and walk me
to the door she says
conscience: Uh Hu
If you'd like to come in for
a drink she says
conscience: Uh Hu
You're a little liquored up
to leave she says
conscience: Uh Hu
Here's my bed it's big
enough for two she says
conscience: Uh Hu
You can crash awhile or
stay the night she says
conscience: Uh Hu
One thing I gotta do before
I sleep she says
conscience: Uh Hu
is jump your bones
conscience: Jump your
bones
Whips and Chains:
Come on, you said you
wanted it before. Get your
ass over here, come on.
Come here, no I'm not
gonna hurt you. Come
here, there, that's a good
boy.

Are ya hungry.
Coughs
Down this way they got
some good ones
Coughs
How long haven't you
eaten, Oh oh there goes
one, there it goes
Sonsabitch! Hit 'em Jeb, hit
'em!
There he goes! There he
goes! There he does! Oh
ohhh, Ya stupid bastard.
Eeyehhey!
No wonder you're so
dumb...
Shouldn't be callin' me
dumb.
Alright, o.k., you got 'em
Now let's take 'em back.
You start the fire. You still
got that old lighter?
What the hell you talkin'
about, Jeb?
Yeah, this one's a bad one,
cause he's so fat ya see.
Sniff it!
No don't sniff it, ya just eat
it, ya dumb, dumb, de dumb
dumb.
Just give it a sniff!
Now you know every night
... have you been hearing
that racket coming from
Tube Number 6?
Jeb, just give it a sniff!
Now, I'm not gonna sniff
the rat, now. Have you
seen those kinds playin that
music...
Arrggww
...Way down in Tube
Number 6? It's just terri-
ble. And you know where
they play? They play in that
thing called something like
cos-cosmography or
something like that.
Are you gonna sniff it or
talk?
Oh Oh! There goes another
one!
Sonsabitch!
Would you just quit
swearin' and try to get
dinner, please.
OHHHHHHH! There he does!
There he goes! There he
goes! There he goes!
Oh, You almost got 'em
This vicious one bit me!
You got 'em. This is a
terrible place. Well any-
way, you should see this
place uptown.
Coughs.
It's terrible. It's terrible
they, these kids, they try
to get into this place and
shave their nose off, and
their face off, and it's just
incredible, you know, I
woulda never suspected
that things would come to
this.
Where's the jerky beef?
And they rehearse down in
that tube down there.
When was the last time
you had jerky beef, Jeb?
Would you just quit you..
'Member jerky beef
... quit your jabberin',
and just, just... can't you
have a civilized conversa-
tion?!
I'm sorry, Jeb. I could sure
go for some of that jerky
beef, though.
Have you had your fill, or
do ya need another one?
Zuort:
Roy number one. You have
been selected to play the

She says she don't belive
in such things as a spell or
a curse
it must be somebody else
but I know
As of late
The appeal's far too great
Can't concentrate
Makes me think
Must have a tale
Ain't gonna tell
What I saw dropped my
Piched myself, rubbed my
eyes
All my cash
It dematerialized
And I know
It sounds strange
Like a trick
She made off quick with my
brain
I'm insane
My body's next
And then uh
You might say
This is crazed
Paranoid Schizo Freak
To suspect a supernatural
feat
All I know
That my soul
is my sole possession
That she possessed
All that's left
A cut and dried husk of a
chorus:
(Shoop shoop)
Hocus Pocus Ding Dong
(Shoop Shoop)
And how d'ya do
(Shoop Shoop)
Since that day I've been
gone
(Shoop Shoop)
And my Vision's askew
I notice tonight
nothing's right
what's come over me
there's something lurking
deep inside
that's pulling all the strings
an image burning in my
brain
can't douse the fire
I go insane
a hunger deeper than she
knows
and all the while the full
moon glows
I lock the door so tight
tonight
and throw away the key
chorus
Annoying Phone Call:
Hey, ah Hey, Roy, How's it
going? This is Duane.
Yeah. I'm doing O.K. too.
Hey look, I'm just calling ta
... I was kinda concerned.
I was out eating dinner last
night and, um... you
remember that girl you
met last week? Yeah,
that's her. Ah, well look,
Ah, she was kinda,
having a nice dinner of
souvlaki with some big
Greek guy. Yeah, it was a
greek restaurent, too.
Yeah, that was her, I'm
sure of it, man. Ah, yeah,
O.K., well look, I just
wanted to let you know.
Ah, you have a good one.
Take care. Bye.

I wish I was cool
Yeah, cooler than you
I wish I was cool
Yeah, cooler than you
I wish I had bangs and black leather jacket
A movie-star girl and a big hit record
I wish I was cool
Yeah, cooler than you
I am a nobody
I just want to be cool
I am a nobody
I just want to be cool
(Yeah)
I wish I was bad
Yeah, bad as fuck
I wish I was bad
Yeah, bad as fuck
I wish I had a full-blown Maserati,
Thousand-dollar bills and a personal swami
I wish I was cool
Yeah, cooler than you
I am a nobody
I just want to be cool
I pretend that I'm you for a little while
I just want to be as cool as you
(Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool)
I am a nobody
I just want to be cool
I am a nobody
I just want to be cool

I change my body.
I'm changing my brain.
I'm gonna win it
whatever the pain.
It's in the a line.
Full steamin' ahead.
I'm takin the prize
Alive or I'm dead
Too many losers.
Can't be just the same.
What else to do here?
I'm changing my name.
Can't smell the roses
or dig in the ground.
After the dark day
not one I've found.
They say there's no pain
In doing your dace.
Snipping your ears off
and setting the pace.
Sanding your nose off
and hot waxing your head.
I saw a brave man
They turned him red.
See the beautician
once a physician.
My first appointment's
A quarter to three.
It's all in order
I'm following through.
My skin's just too plain.
I'll make it blue.
A plan of attack,
my big strategy.
I'm winning the big show.
What's got into me?
I'll never survive.
It's never been done.
If I live to see
I'll know I won.
It's all I can do,
I've rehearsed enough.
The final touch is
to order the stuff.
I'll take just one drop
before the pick up.
So I don't peak out
Until the hitch up.
It's all I can do.
It's all I can do.

(Instrumental)
(cheers and swooning girls)
Seductress:
Hey what's your name? Oh
yeah. So come on, let's go
outside, let's blow this
joint. Oh really, well the
joint is not all that I wanna
blow, Why don't you come
with me? I haven't seen
you before. Was this your
first gig? Oh it was.
Really? Well you were
pretty good. Don't walk
away from me, come back
here. Ooh look at that,
these pants are getting a
bit righter aren't they? Why
is that, why don't you
show me? Come on. Ooh
there's a little wet spot
here, did you spill a beer,
did you? I didn't see you
drinking a beer. Come on,
let's go play with some
toys. Oh, I'm used to kids,
it's Alright. Let's go play
with some toys, I have
quite a few you might like.